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by Valanora » Fri Jul 08, 2016 9:28 am
by Pasarga » Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:01 am
by Farfadillis » Fri Jul 08, 2016 12:31 pm
by Chromatika » Fri Jul 08, 2016 12:38 pm
by Ko-oren » Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:45 pm
by COCANEFA » Fri Jul 08, 2016 3:32 pm
by Audioslavia » Fri Jul 08, 2016 4:16 pm
by COCANEFA » Fri Jul 08, 2016 4:30 pm
by Northern Sunrise Islands » Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:31 pm
by Farfadillis » Sat Jul 09, 2016 11:41 pm
by Audioslavia » Sun Jul 10, 2016 4:38 am
by Nephara » Sun Jul 10, 2016 4:47 am
by Electrum » Sun Jul 10, 2016 8:48 am
by Valladares » Sun Jul 10, 2016 2:31 pm
by Cosumar » Sun Jul 10, 2016 3:02 pm
#1: LB William Riley | #2: CM Irvinn Rincon | #3: ST Rikki Varshney | #4 ST Sur Arora | #5: DM Vareza Na'Noni | #6: CB Alexander Pearce | #7: RB Tae Woo Miyori | #8: CM Brian Emerson | #9: GK Jakk Winterfyll
In honor of Cosumar's 25th World Cup, The Cosumarite Courier is naming the best eleven Cosumarite players in history for the first time ever. If Cosumarite scientists unlocked time travel and we could assemble any combination of Cosumarite players from the last 50 years, who should we select to win a World Cup? Well, you voted and we did our nifty research...so now we're unveiling the aggregate results. One by one. Each matchday. You can read the biography of each selection or simply check the updated version of the above image each day to quickly see who made it and continue on with your life. By the time the World Cup 75 cycle is winding down, the countdown will be complete and a concrete Best XI finalized. We will be unveiling entries in order from most unanimous to most controversial, so the worst comment-section firestorms SHOULD be saved until the end!
by COCANEFA » Sun Jul 10, 2016 3:05 pm
by The Royal Kingdom of Quebec » Sun Jul 10, 2016 4:37 pm
To whom it may concern,
Hello, foul beings. Hope all of you had fun time in World Cup 75. I didn't have a fun one, mostly because of getting a heart attack few weeks before and not really being able to enjoy being in Audioslavia and Krytenia as usual....
With that being said I would like to congratulate the following people for their performance into the semifinals :
- Jayson Dhanda, longtime Manager of the Grim Reapers until recently
- Sheldon Serra, Captain, Zenit Attawapiskat
- Rolando and Rolandinho, the Sunrisian Twins of Montreal Koreana
Congratulations for qualifying into the semifinals of this World Cup. Here are two celebratory GIFs created by members of our national football team for you 4 fellows :
I wish all of you good luck.
Sincerely,
Frederic Beauchemin
by Audioslavia » Mon Jul 11, 2016 4:17 am
"Sanitexit", they were calling it. A portmaneau of 'Sanity' and 'Exit', a new noun that described the fact that the World Cup Committee had departed from their senses and declared, after a particularly narrow vote, that the next WCC President would be Audioslavian.
One by one, the candidates had come out of the woodwork.
An early frontrunner had been Loris Blondeson, a former mayor of Cathair, who was a popular figure among the sort of idiots who thought an odd haircut and a stammer were acceptable alternatives for leadership and ability to govern. He'd been backed early on in the race by Michel Glove, a man whose name fitted him like a well-tailored mitten. A pair of gloves have a singular and important use. A single glove can only really be used as an impromptu comb on a chicken suit, which is more useful and appropriate for cold weather conditions than Michel Glove could ever be said to have been. Glove's first duty, as Blondeson's second in command, was to rally Blondeson's supporters around Glove himself, usurp his leader and declare his interest himself, though naturally he pretended not to be interested, saying "I never thought I’d ever be in this position. I did not want it, indeed I did almost everything not be a candidate for the leadership of this party, but – at every step in my political life – I’ve asked myself one question: what is the right thing to do? What does your heart tell you?”. He delivered the lines with all the credibility of a worm clambering out of an apple and declaring that the holes had been caused by an infestation of moles, and that the worm itself was the best possible person to lead the fightback against molekind.
Liam Fux was another candidate, crawling out of the same wormhole and declaring that he was actually a different, more buccaneering and rambunctious worm, with ideas and beliefs and aspirations and he was defeated really rather early. Steven Lobster, who appeared wriggling doggedly out of a softer and more compassionate part of the apple, didn't last much longer.
And so, it was down to three.
In one corner (of, erm, the triangle, I suppose) stood Andhere Somelead, whose name was even more apt than Mr. Glove's. Somelead had been a supporter of LigAnExit, the unsupportable case for leaving the LigAnaia, and aside from a total lack of experience in any sort of position of power, let alone a sporting one, became one of the later frontrunners for the position of WCC President, campaigning with a fairly conservative list of policies that included banning instant replays, forcing players to wear their shorts 'not more than two inches above the knee' and banning 'homosexual cuddling' from goal celebrations, positing that a player should be booked if he does anything other than politely shake hands with his team-mates and/or offer the goalkeeper a small gift card offering his condolences.
In another corner came Trees O'May, a woman who once described the word 'luddite' as a dangerous new neologism that should never have been allowed near a dictionary. O'May, like Somelead, wanted action replays to be banned from football, not because of the valuable seconds wasted, but because a camera was a piece of electrical equipment and, as such needed to have the utter shit regulated out of it for no discernable reason. Also, it could possibly be used to film naked women, and wouldn't that just be the most awful thing for the children of the future?
Candidate number three was a latecomer to the electoral process. He was a latecomer to sporting politics in general, really, despite having previously been a sports journalist, occasional spy and, on three seperate occasions, the caretaker manager of the Audioslavian national football team. He was here to 'kick the twunts right in their twunts'. 'Kay tee tee are eye tee tee' he was known to say, with a wink and a sly shuffle of his size nine shoes. His name was Jeremy Jaffacake, 'but you can call me President Jaffacake' he'd say. His policies were fairly thin on the ground, but part of them involved the idea that, for free-kicks on the edge of the area, the defending team should insist that their defensive wall be paid for and maintained by the attacking team.
The campaign of each can probably be summed up by their answer to the final question posed by the arbiter during their live, televised debate, when asked on the possible advantages or disadvantages of the President being a woman.
Naturally, all candidates avoided the question.
"Think of me not as a woman" said Somelead, "but as a mother. As every mother. Every child. Every pensioner. Every family. I am, as it happens, a mother, which I think gives me a sort of trustworthy softness in comparison to 'Muzz' O'May, who is childless and barren"
"Think of me not as a woman either" said O'May, "and, while you're at it, don't think at all. You are the proletariat, and as such thinking should not be something you should be concerned with. It's something I hope to snuff out when I get into power. Beautiful, glorious, delicious power."
"Think of me not as a woman" said Jeremy Jaffacake, "nor as a man. Nor as child, mother, nor a sort of pentagenarian Ayn Rand but without the compassion for those less fortunate. Think of me more as an indestructible hyper-sentient thunder-bastard, come from both past and future to wreck shit and take names"
by Northern Sunrise Islands » Mon Jul 11, 2016 8:16 am
by Nephara » Tue Jul 12, 2016 1:18 am
by Valladares » Tue Jul 12, 2016 10:44 am
by COCANEFA » Tue Jul 12, 2016 3:54 pm
by Chromatika » Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:00 pm
by Nephara » Wed Jul 13, 2016 4:21 am
by Northern Sunrise Islands » Wed Jul 13, 2016 10:39 am
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