World Lacrosse Championships VIII Everything Thread

[Sarzonia]

Since tonight was a belated birthday celebration, we got home from eating at our favourite restaurant so I could CUT the cake, like I'm doing with these RP's!

Scores and tables up soon! As a reminder, tomorrow night will have no matches. We'll resume our schedule on Tuesday.

Group A Scores
Tarrentum 11-14 Jhung
Elemanu 12-8 Cassadaigua
Sarzonia: BYE

Group A	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Jhung	        4	0	1.000	60	46	14
Sarzonia	2	2	 .500	64	53	11
Elemanu	        2	2	 .500	55	58	-3
Tarrentum	1	3	 .250	48	62	-14
Cassadaigua	1	3	 .250	45	53	-8

Group B Scores
TGWTGLand 9-13 Cosumar
Silver Beach 16-14 Secristan
Delaclava: BYE

Group B	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Delaclava       3	1       .750	49	45	4
Silver Beach	3	1       .750	55	51	4
Cosumar	        2	2       .500	48	49	-1
Secristan	1	3       .250	56	53	3
TGWTGLand       1	3       .250	42	52	-10

Group C Scores
Churchma 16-15 (OT) The New Caribbean
Allamunnic States 14-17 Teroi

Group C	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Qazox	        3	1	.750	45	40	5
Teroi	        3	1	.750	60	55	5
Alla. States	2	2	.500	65	56	9
TNC	        1	3	.250	46	57	-11
Churchma	1	3	.250	59	68	-9

[Qazox]

LacrosseToday.net

FIRST HALF REVIEW

Thanks to a massive upset by Toiletdonia over Allamunnic States last night, Qazox is sitting alone in first in Group C due to the H2H win over Toiletdonia. So that makes thier match tommorrow a very important one. In other groups, Secrsitan is suprisingly 1-3 so far in the competition, while newcomers Jhung are the only unbeaten team at 4-0 and have a 2 game lead over the hosts Sarzonia.

Overall, Qazox suprisingly has had the best defense, allowing an average of only 10 goals a match; with the next best team being Delaclava at 11.25. Offensively, Qazox is not that great averaging only 11.25 gpg; while Allamunnic States are the most offensive team, no offense intended nor pun; with 16.25 gpg.

As the 2nd half of qualifying begins, every team still has a chance to make it to Sarzonia for the playoffs.

(ooc: Happy <insert age here>th/st/rd birthday Sarzonia!)

[Sarzonia]

For Harold Price, the two days off between the first half of Sarzonia's group stage during the eighth World Lacrosse Championships and the start of the second half would be a time for the team to get away from lacrosse.

Far more importantly for him and the team, it would also be a time to get away from each other.

The team's 0-2 beginning frayed nerves. Price had to cut a training session short to keep players from coming to blows with each other. Even the 18-9 victory over Tarrentum did little to soothe the mood of the team. Their 21-13 victory over Elemanu helped somewhat, but they still had to watch other results play out first.

Now, they sat at 2-2. They still were nowhere near the exceptional level they'd grown accustomed to, but they showed flashes in the last two matches. They took stock of where they were.

If qualification ended now, the Stars would be the sixth seed, ahead of Allamunnic States due to goal differential. Cosumar would be the eighth and final seed to qualify for the trip to Sarzonia with a better goals against average than Elemanu, the team Sarzonia are currently level with in record in Group A.

Despite limited fan support and coverage, Jhung remains the only undefeated team in the qualifying stage at 4-0. The second and third seeds respectively would be Qazox and Delaclava. If the results hold, the Stars would face their southern neighbours once again, after the Stars narrowly defeated the Phoenixes 12-10 in the quarterfinals in Cassadaigua.

Teroi have been the biggest surprise thus far, compiling a 3-1 record after a 20-11 demolishing at the hands of Qazox, who have clearly taken to Estrella Motor Cars Field at Grizzlies Park since the Sarzonian automobile manufacturer donated $25 million to build the field. Teroi would be the number four seed, or the best wild card team. Silver Beach would be the fifth seed.

However, for team captain and midfielder Carter Whitlock, playoff seedings are a topic for another time.

"Right now, we're focusing on Cassadaigua," he said. "We want to get them back for their victory over us at Franz Braddock Stadium by beating them on their home grounds."

Whitlock may have a difficult time focusing on Cassadaigua. World Lacrosse Championships VI chief organiser Jonathan Moose announced that Whitlock would be the first Sarzonian inducted into the new World Lacrosse Hall of Fame, to be housed at the Chip Moose Lacrosse Complex, which was the former home of the Stars before the Dave Wilson Athletic Complex was constructed.

"Whitlock has set a standard that many players from other countries have yet to reach," Moose said in a statement. "It only makes sense that he become the first inductee. We have asked other nations to submit their nominees based on certain criteria."

"I am deeply honoured to be nominated as the first member of the inaugural class of the World Lacrosse Hall of Fame," Whitlock said in a statement. "This Hall is intended to honour the very best players, coaches and contributors who make this game great."

[OOC: The initial criteria shall be one player, coach or contributor per nation per four World Lacrosse Championships participated in. For every team that has qualified for the knockouts at least twice, they get one more player, coach or contributor. For every team that has at least one WLC title, they get one more player, coach or contributor.]

[Toiletdonia]

We re-join the two boys drinking holy water and watching the match.

"Come on ref blow for full time!"

"Yeah come on!"

*Whistle goes*

"YES!"

"They've done it another win on the trot nothing can stop them now!"

"It's amazing isn't it!"

"Yeah but I still feel a bit guilty of drinking the holy water."

"Me to but hey who gonna stop us?

*A weird looking man appears. He is slightly see through.*

Weird Looking man (WLM): You are both sinners.

Teenager 1 (T1): What ever old man.

Teenager 2 (T2): Are you a ghost?

WLM: No I am one of the spirits of holiness and you two have sinned.

T1: Well I'm not that bothered. What you are you going to do to us anyway your dead?

WLM: I could send you to hell for ever!

T2: Stop provoking him Tim.

Tim: It doesn't matter Jack this is probably a bad dream anyway.

Jack: That would make sense.

Spirit: SILENCE! Why are you two in this house of holiness drinking holy water anyway?

Jack: The monks went off to the futsal world cup so they told us to look after their house.

Spirit: I guess that is OK. Apart from the holy water then I guess your OK. I guess I could over look it.

Jack: Yes that would be nice.

Spirit: Ok you boys enjoy your afternoon then.

*Puss of smoke and he disappears*

Tim: What a nice guy.

[Churchma]

Churchma finally on the right side of a nail-biter match
Churchma Sports Inc.

It took four appearances for the Churchma lacrosse squad to pull out a win, but they finally did it tonight on the road against The New Caribbean. The game was nothing short of exciting, as the lead changed hands a total of seven times throughout the game. A goal in the final minute of overtime from Robert Heald lifted Churchma 16-15 over TNC. The win brings Churchma to a 1-3 record through the first half of pool play. Churchma is currently in fourth place over TNC (1-3) in Group C due to their head-to-head matchup.

Inconsistent defense is what caused this match to be so close. Churchma was up 11-8 late in the third quarter when TNC scored four goals in the final two minutes of the quarter, to bring the score to 12-11 TNC going into the fourth quarter. "This kind of play has plagued us all tournament long. If we could somehow just finish out the last two minutes of each quarter we would be at least 3-1 right now," said head coach Millaux.

The surprise player of the night was young attacker, Chris Dunson. The 19-year old Dunson had played a minimal role through the first three games of the tournament. But against TNC, Dunson played a huge role in getting the win. He finished the night with three goals; and was even on the field in the final minutes of overtime.

"It felt great to go out and play in the most meaningful minutes of the match. I have to credit my goals to the other guys for great assists, I couldn't have done it without them. Hopefully we can keep the offense up for the rest of the tournament," said a very humble Dunson.

Churchma now has two days to rest before they go on the road to play The Fanboyists (2-2). In the first match of pool play, Churchma was defeated 22-15 by TF. "A few days off should let all of our guys clear their heads, and get focused again. If our defenders and goalies step it up then we should do just fine in the second half of pool play," said Millaux.

Churchma (1-3) WLC 8 Schedule
July 14- The Fanboyists (Loss 15-22)
July 15- at Qazox (Loss 14-15)
July 17- Toiletdonia (Loss 14-16)
July 18- at The New Caribbean (Win 16-15 OT)
July 21- at The Fanboyists
July 22- Qazox
July 23- at Toiletdonia
July 24- The New Caribbean

[The Fanboyists]

Well That's Worrysome

We refer, of course, to the wild badger problem that manifested itself in last night's game. Apparently, the keepers of the stadium failed to take the badgers into account, and the Toiletdonian squad received a great help in the fourth quarter as Hannah Devine was chased from the field by a small pack of badgers.

Also accompanying them were a few stray chickens earlier in the match, though they failed to be disruptive. It is not believed the two incidents were linked, though in the latter, fowl play is suspected.

In all seriousness, the badger problem sealed a win for Toiletdonia against the Volunteers, who were trailing by one goal when the incident occured. Devine, who confessed after the game that she is "frightfully afraid of badgers, ever since that time when I was three..." could not be convinced to return to the field.

Coach Frank McDowell has stated he will not appeal the decision.

"We weren't playing all that well, anyway. Toiletdonia earned the win, even without the badger thing. We'll have to hit it hard next time, and keep animal control on hand. But I see no reason to contest an otherwise fair win for our opponents. If they hadn't earned it, we should have been in a clear lead. We weren't, so there's no dispute."

Slightly happier news also reached us, as the two inaugural Allamunnic nominees for the Hall of Fame were announced. To absolutely nobody's surprise, Kathryn Strasbourg was the first nomination, followed by the team's head coach, Frank McDowell, for the nation's nominations.

The Vols will try to regroup in the off-period, with the intention of smashing the New Carribean for a second time when they return. Qualifying, while not certain, luckily still looks likely.

[Sarzonia]

One of my biggest pet peeves in a grocery store is seeing people CUT in line.

Not nearly as irritating for six teams is tonight's RP Cutoff.

Scores and tables up soon!

Group A Scores
Cassadaigua 11-17 Sarzonia
Elemanu 12-9 Jhung
Tarrentum: BYE

Group A	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Jhung	        4	1	.800	69	58	11
Sarzonia	3	2	.600	81	64	17
Elemanu	        3	2	.600	67	67	0
Tarrentum	1	3	.250	48	62	-14
Cassadaigua	1	4	.200	56	70	-14

Sarzonia leads Elemanu on head-to-head result.

Group B Scores
Secristan 10-6 Delaclava
Silver Beach 10-13 Cosumar
TGWTGLand: BYE

Group B	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Cosumar	        3	2       .600	61	59	2
Silver Beach	3	2       .600	65	64	1
Delaclava       3	2       .600	55	55	0
Secristan	2	3       .400	66	59	7
TGWTGLand       1	3       .250	42	52	-10

Three-way tie sorted by overall point differential.

Group C Scores
Teroi 19-9 Qazox
Allamunnic States 14-11 The New Caribbean
Churchma: BYE

Group C	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Teroi	        4	1	.800	79	64	15
Qazox	        3	2	.600	54	59	-5
Alla. States	3	2	.600	79	67	12
Churchma	1	3	.250	59	68	-9
TNC	        1	4	.200	57	71	-14

Qazox leads Allamunnic States on head-to-head result.

[Qazox]

LacrosseToday.net

Game ID: 17827 (Toiletdonia v. Qazox @ The Piêcher, Toiletdonia.)

BOX SCORE:

Qazox       2 3 2 2   9
Toiletdonia 5 4 6 4  19

We just had to toot our horn, huh? The statistically best defense allowed 19 goals @ Toliletdonia and fell to 3-2 in qualifying. Berun Mushal, and Ju Gu-Jak combined for 13 goals between the two, while Qazox only had 1 player manage multiple goals.

The game was over early in the 2nd quarter after the hosts jumped out to an 8-2 lead. Rather than expending too much energy trying to overcome such a lead, at one point it was 17-7; Qazox sent in the back-ups and will attempt to rebound tommorrow when they will face The New Caribbean at home. Qazox will seek to avenge their lone 1st half loss, while Toiletdonia, who are 4-1 and lead the group, have the day off.

Qazoxian Scoring Summary:
Cappelli- 3
Akinora-
Potamek-
Hart-
Kohler-
Linden-
Staubing-

[Elemanu]

TWINSTER

Wimbish: @Broderson great game last night right? #wlc

Broderson: @Wimbish yeah was grate to get revenge over jhung #wlc

QuillGirl: @Wimbish w00t! were first team to beat Jhung! GO US! #wlc

Wimbish: @QuillGirl i know you knocked the stuffing out of them #wlc

Drakesyyyy: #wlc @QuillGirl nice to get over that loss to the Sarzinators, aye? Damn they smashed us...

QuillGirl: @Drakesyyy hey, look to the future babes! how many goals you get girlie?

Drakesyyyy: #wlc @QuillGirl five goals! I was on fire! SMOKING!

RamButt: @Drakesyyyy hey, i got five goals too you know! #wlc

Drakesyyyy: #wlc @RamButt yeah but five goals for you is slow day, five goals for me is LEGENDARY

RamButt: @Wimbish hey capn who we play next? #wlc

Wimbish: @Rambutt were flying to tarrentum dude! #wlc

Round   Team            Result
 1      Jhung           Loss (16-14)
 2      Tarrentum       Win  (16-13)
 3      BYE
 4      Sarzonia        Loss (21-13)
 5      Cassadaigua     Win  (12-8 )
 6      Jhung           Win  (12- 9)
 7      Tarrentum       Away
 8      BYE
 9      Sarzonia        Home
10      Cassadaigua     Away

[Toiletdonia]

"I wonder how things are going at home?"

"Lets check."

"Nah why should we?"

"Cos it our prayer team."

"No need."

"Yes there is."

"Let just look."

"Okay fine!"

*One quick check later*

"OMG they beat Qazox without us?!"

"Oh god were screwed now."

"I guess I'll just stick to futsal."

"Me to."

"Well that was a great game."

"19 though that's ridiculous!"

"Maybe these teens should pray instead of us."

"Yeah we should retire. To a life of tough athletics."

"That and good looking women."

"Yes that to."

"It's going to be tough."

"I guess this is goodbye then."

"Yeah I'll miss our life of no women simple food and being locked away up a mountain."

"Now I think about it this isn't that bad at all."

"Yeah monk life sucks."

"I'm going to grow my hair."

"Me to."

[Sarzonia]

Concord Heights was a strange place to many Sarzonians.

After all, the team they were facing represented a nation with a very heavily matriarchal society. Over there, women were instructed to remove their hats when the national anthems played at sporting events. Women could be seen holding the door for men.

The strangest thing in goaltender Mark Tomscik's mind?

"I heard a radio spot on the way into the stadium where it advertised self defence classes for men," he said. "That's when I knew this wasn't Sarzonia."

However, once the team assembled in the dressing room, it was all business. The Dagans upset the Stars to open the eighth World Lacrosse Championships, bringing all the bad memories of the sixth WLC to the fore. After all, that was the only time the Stars failed to qualify for the knockout stages at the World Lacrosse Championships. And, it was the first time Sarzonia were the host nation.

Now, they were seeking revenge. More importantly, they hoped to continue to build on the momentum of two consecutive wins after opening the tournament 0-2, marking the only time the Stars have ever been two matches under .500.

Mission accomplished. The Stars won 17-11, forcing the Dagans to run the table just to finish .500, and keeping the Stars in a favourable position in the knockout rounds as they improved to 3-2.

"We've been playing much better lacrosse of late," said midfielder Carter Whitlock, who scored two goals and added four assists. "Those first two matches, you saw us score a lot of goals. This time, our defence played better. We know Jhung's going to be a tough opponent since they're still ahead of us in the table."

That is in spite of Elemanu pulling off the 12-9 upset of Jhung to give the newcomers their first loss in the World Lacrosse Championship. For coach Harold Price, that only means it will be even tougher to defeat Jhung.

"They're going to be motivated to knock us down even more," he said. "They're going to be playing angry. We're going to have to challenge ourselves to match their intensity."

[The Fanboyists]

Kate sighed as she sat down on the bench following the team's (relatively) narrow escape against the New Carribean on their second go through.

So far, things hadn't really gone as planned. One loss, that might be acceptable, if not ideal, but, but...

TWO losses? Unacceptable. The team had been beating itself up, practically, after the second loss. Not tearing at itself; no, the Volunteers all knew better than to point fingers, but all of them had taken to doing a bit of brooding on how each of them could be better.

So, naturally, Kate had been running herself and her teammates ragged over the last several days.

Work had to be done.

First, there had been the sloppy start against Toiletdonia that had let them take the lead. Unacceptable; the Vols had given up too many goals without responding in kind. So the Vols had run counter-attacks in practice until they had started executing them almost automatically.

And against Qazox, they had failed to play physically enough, and the Qazians had stayed fresh and energetic enough to play a sudden-death win in overtime. So the team had taken a leaf out of the gridiron squad's book and had hit the pads, running the gauntlet, and even doing the odd tackling drill; sure, they weren't actually going to tackle in game, but the simple acclimation to contact for the new members of the team was important; it was part of the basis of their whole game.

Stamina had been an issue for them the whole time, allowing teams to come back from otherwise insurmountable holes. So the team had run sprints for hours, with few breaks.

The ultimate point, Kate thought, hadn't been shown against New Carribean. It had still been too close for comfort. Churchma would be itching to get a win, and another loss could prove fatal to their hopes of qualifying and winning a second championship.

So, as everyone wandered into the locker room, Joe sat everyone down and gave one of his signiture, blunt pep talks.

"Guys, I hate to say it, but we're never gonna even qualify if we keep playing like we have the last three games. Today was mediocre, the Toiletdonia game was absolute shit, and the Qazox game was simply poorly executed. We need to step it up. Just because we won one title doesn't mean we get to rest now; if we did, there'd be nothing worth aiming for. We still have a chance to do something nobody's ever done before; win two in a row! We can still make it, but we gotta play with the fire we had last year. Or else we're going to get boxed out of the playoffs by a nation named after Mister R.J. Crapper's invention."

There were a few winces. Then, Joe's tone softened. "I know y'all havn't given up yet; I've seen how each of you has been working to bounce back from our last two set-backs, and I know each of us is grateful to their teammates for that work, but it's still on the fire we play with. Let's get it done, guys. Tonight's our chance, against Churchma, to get it back on track."

There were nods and "yeah"s.

Then, of course, Art stood up.

"So, for a little bit of team-bonding, we're taking a team ice bath."

There were a few groans, and a number of cheers. Most of them loved ice baths; there really wasn't a better way to quell the angry bruises most of them had from their constant practicing over the last week or two.

Maybe they'd have the fire tonight.

[Sarzonia]

One piece of technology someone should have gotten for me for my birthday is Final CUT Pro. Since no one did, I'm gonna have to settle for another RP cut off.

Scores and tables will be up shortly!

Group A Scores
Sarzonia 12-6 Jhung
Tarrentum 9-14 Elemanu
Cassadaigua: BYE

Group A	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Sarzonia	4	2	.667	93	70	23
Elemanu	        4	2	.667	81	76	5
Jhung	        4	2	.667	75	70	5
Tarrentum	1	4	.200	57	76	-19
Cassadaigua	1	4	.200	56	70	-14

Sarzonia ahead of Elemanu on head-to-head result and ahead of Jhung on point differential in head-to-head as both teams have one win apiece. Elemanu ahead of Jhung on point differential in head-to-head results. Tarrentum ahead of Cassadaigua on head-to-head result.

Group B Scores
Delaclava 14-7 Cosumar
TGWTGLand 11-6 Silver Beach
Secristan: BYE

Group B	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Delaclava       4	2       .667	69	62	7
Silver Beach	3	3       .500	71	75	-4
Cosumar	        3	3       .500	68	73	-5
Secristan	2	3       .400	66	59	7
TGWTGLand       2	3       .400	53	58	-5

Silver Beach ahead of Cosumar on point differential in head-to-head as both teams have one win. Secristan ahead of TGWTGLand on head-to-head result.

Group C Scores
Qazox 19-6 The New Caribbean
Churchma 13-19 Allamunnic States
Teroi: BYE

Group C	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Teroi	        4	1	.800	79	64	15
Qazox	        4	2	.667	73	65	 8
Alla. States	4	2	.667	98	80	18
Churchma	1	4	.200	72	87	-15
TNC	        1	5	.167	63	90	-27 E

Qazox leads Allamunnic States on head-to-head result.

[Qazox]

LacrosseToday.net

Game ID: 17835 (Qazox v. The New Caribbean @ Estrella Motor Cars Field @ Grizzlies Park.)

BOX SCORE:

The New Caribbean 2 4 0 0   6
Qazox             3 5 4 7   19

After the embarassing loss to Tolietdonia, Qazox returned home and returned the favor to The New Caribbean 19-6. For the first time in team history, Qazox did not allow a goal in a half. At half-time however, it was rather close with Qazox leading 8-6. The Grizzlies would not be denied in the 2nd half, as they outscored TNC 11-0; with 5 of those goals coming from David Akinora; who would end the day with 8.

Up next Qazox concludes its home schedule against Churchma. With a victory tommorrow, the Grizzlies could set up a win-or-go-home match against Allamunnic States, or even perhaps clinch a playoff berth if Allamunnic States lose tommorrow.

Qazoxian Scoring Summary:
Akinora- 8
Potamek- 4
Hart- 2
Kohler-2
Chapman- 2
Mattheiu-

[Cosumar]

Cosumar Sports Digest Online
Cosumar sinks to .500 mark after disappoitning loss

*WLC VIII UPDATE*
written by Brent Hughes,site editor

The Cosumar Dragons Lacrosse Team is one thing I just can't understand. You'd think that if a team is good then they would play good every week right? Well that is definitely not the case with the Cosumar lacrosse team of WLC 8. We all knew they would be a capable team, even when in competition with teams like the Allumanic States, Sarzonia, and Qazox. I mean, how could they not be with players like Jakk Klyde, Howard Jayson, Dillon Finnigan, and Jimmy Cardigan?

But for some unknown reason, the Dragons can not keep up the good play every time they take the field. One match they play exceedingly well-no one can touch them. The next they look like a bunch of kindergarteners playing at recess. I just can't fathom why. To me this inconsistency signals that this team is not in position to win this competition or even make it into the next round. They certaintly have the talent. It just depends which "Cosumar Dragons" team shows up.

Even if the Dragons play their best they still may not make it to the knockout stages. They are in a very tough group and the standings are very tight. The team in last-TGWTGLand- and the team in first-Delaclava- are only two games apart. The Dragons' record previous to yesterday was 3-2 and they were sitting smugly at the top of Group B for the first time. But last night, the team lost a must-win against Delaclava 14-7. In that game against the Delaclavs, the opposition's attackers were on fire and Cosumar's were so not. Cosumar barely managed to get 7 points up there while only sheer luck stopped Delaclava from getting 20+ points.

The Dragons were on a winning streak and the loss to Delaclava was a huge blow to them. Here is what starting Defender Thomas Koma had to say about the game:

"Well, you know how it is when this sort of thing happens. We were on a roll. We beat Secristan, then we had a bye, then we came out a knocked Silver Beach around...We were feeling really good. Thought we could beat anyone. Thought we could avenge our 10-12 loss last time to Delaclava. But it didn't turn out that way. Gotta give a lotta credit to Ryan Young, Micah Johnson, and Steve Smyth-their attackers. They were all over us, we couldn't stop them. We're lucky they only came away with 14, it could've been a lot worse. The whole team is very saddened by last night's game and you know we heard a hell lot from Coach McDougle about it. We've just gotta come out and beat Secristan again if we want to make it any farther in this tournament."

With only two games remaining and a slew of teams that could take their place, Cosumar desperately needs a win, and hopefully a Delaclava loss tomorrow. If that should occur, Cosumar would be in first going into their bye week and it would ensure Secristan could not win the group. Yes, tomorrow Cosumar takes on a difficult Secristan team. The nation is very experienced but Cosumar should have their confidences bolstered by the fact that in their last metting Cosumar edged them out 14-12. if Cosumar wins tomorrow, they will probably have a berth in the bag. The next matchday after Secristan is a bye and then a match against the last place TGWTGLand.

"For now we are taking it one game at a time. We are focusing on Secristan right now. They are a very quick team-especially the attackers but we also should not under estimate their defense. Shutting down Scott Cushman is one of our top priorties. We cannot let him get into a rhythym. it's a big game for us, a loss here would be catastrophic and would probably mean we wouldn't make it to the next stage. The players all know this and are working tirelessly to make sure that doesn't happen" Coach McDougle said.

Well, we'll just have to wait and see. You can watch Cosumar vs. Secristan on channel 42 CSBN or get live updates right here at Cosumar Sports Digest online. Like I said, it all depends on which Dragons show up. Until tomorrow night, thank you for reading and Go Dragons!


Cosumar's Jimmy Cardigan (Red/White GK) and Dennis Feldman (Black/Yellow AT) playing in Cosumar's domestic lacrosse league. In the regular they are rivals but when the WLC comes they and other of Cosumar's cream of the crop come together to bring honor to Cosumar.

[Churchma]

Playoff hopes looking bleak for Churchma
Churchma Sports Inc.

Everyone on the Churchma lacrosse squad is doing everything they can to stay optimistic, but at this point, advancing past pool play is looking bleak. After yet another loss to The Fanboyists (19-13)- or more commonly known as the Allamunnic States- Churchma has dropped to 1-4 after five games in pool play.

"It's tough to go out and compete the way we have, and still we get our f****** a** kicked, but I don't know what to say at this point," head coach Millaux said. "I feel like there's nothing else to say. Our goalies continue to get beat and our defenders aren't physical. The only bright side is that our attackers have been playing well." Millaux continued on a rampage that had at least 15 more expletives not acceptable to put in the paper.

26-year-old Robert Heald has truly been the only bright spot of the Churchma lacrosse team thus far. Heald has averaged 7.40 goals per game through five games. He also has been dishing out assists on nearly every other goal that Churchma has scored. When he's out on the field it's clear that he is extremely frustrated.

"I don't feel it's necessary to talk about my individual statistics right now. Winning is the only reason I'm here. Anything else after that is great, but I'm here to help bring home the hardware. We're not doing that right now, and it's absolutely killing me," said star-captain, Heald.

Next up for the depressed Churchma squad is Qazox (4-2) who is fresh off a win over TNC. Fortunately, the Republic returns home for this game, but attendance at MK Stadium probably won't be near what it was a week ago. Rumors are that the first 5,000 fans that attend the game actually will get in for free.

"I'm not opposed to it at all. We need to bring fans in to support us; sometimes you have to do whatever it takes. I mean, be honest, right now would you want to come watch a dismal, 1-4 team in their first international lacross tournament? Not to mention we're playing a dynasty like Qazox. Who really wants to witness that kind of a beat down? Right now we'd be lucky to beat a middle school team from Lexington," Millaux said, "I'm going to do whatever I can to keep our guys upbeat, but at this point, that's pretty hard to do. They're really going to need to turn things around in the next few days if they want to miraculously make the playoffs."

Churchma (1-4) WLC 8 Schedule
July 14- The Fanboyists (Loss 15-22)
July 15- at Qazox (Loss 14-15)
July 17- Toiletdonia (Loss 14-16)
July 18- at The New Caribbean (Win 16-15 OT)
July 21- at The Fanboyists (Loss 13-19)
July 22- Qazox
July 23- at Toiletdonia
July 24- The New Caribbean

[Elemanu]

Elemanu Share Top Spot

Jhung's second loss in a row, thanks to the now seemingly unstoppable Sarzonians, and Elemanu's biggest win of the tournament has given the Islanders a share of the top place in their group in the World Lacrosse Championships. Ted Buttram's 40th goal of the tournament saw Elemanu trounce Tarrentum for the second time, but this time in their opponent's home field. Strangely however, some of the Falcons' loss has to be attributed to the constant booing and vuvuzelas brought by protesting students from their home crowd. The students, protesting against 'bought degrees', let their displeasure at the Tarrentum players, the majority of whom are privileged students from top universities, be known in a vocal way, booing whenever the home team scored a goal and cheering whenever the Islanders scored. Nevertheless, this gives Elemanu a three-win streak before their bye, in which they will be training hard in the lead up to their all-important home game against Sarzonia, who beat the Islanders by eight goals. Coach Christian Modesto said that "we've shown that we play hard and can win on the day, so while we're not expecting anything, the Stars won't be getting anything the easy way." Elemanu are now equal with Sarzonia and the now luckless Jhung on win percentages, and behind Sarzonia only on goal difference and head-to-head.

Round   Team            Result
 1      Jhung           Loss (16-14)
 2      Tarrentum       Win  (16-13)
 3      BYE
 4      Sarzonia        Loss (21-13)
 5      Cassadaigua     Win  (12-8 ) 
 6      Jhung           Win  (12-9 )
 7      Tarrentum       Win  ( 9-14)
 8      BYE
 9      Sarzonia        Home
10      Cassadaigua     Away

[Sarzonia]

"We must protect this house!"

The scream, uncharacteristic as it was, came from midfielder Dwayne Dyer as the Sarzonian national lacrosse team prepared to face group leaders Jhung.

His eyes flared with an intensity that his fellow middie, team captain Carter Whitlock would later say was unusual in its physical ferocity. Dyer was always more of the quiet player, someone who chose to demonstrate his focus on the field of play by simply showing up to work and playing harder than his opponent on any given day.

"Let's show those bloody upstarts what's what!" forward Robbie Fernando screamed. "Revenge on three, ready?" he said, putting his right hand into a circle so his teammates could put theirs. When they all complied, he called out, "One, two, three."

"REVENGE!" came the shout from all the players on the Stars squad. And for good reason. Jhung gave the Stars a five-goal pasting in their previous meeting. Now, the Stars would face Jhung in the friendly confines of Franz Braddock Stadium in front of 35,000 of their most enthusiastic supporters. If there were any time to earn an important victory, now was it.

Unlike the three previous victories, in which Sarzonia's offence took centre stage, this time was the defence's turn to dominate. They held Jhung without a goal in the opening quarter while Carter Whitlock scored the first two goals. When he scored the opening goal with 12:48 to go in the frame, he exulted by throwing his crosse high into the air. He drew a one-minute non-releasable penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct, but when coach Harold Price considered the fact that Whitlock was held scoreless by Jhung in the first meeting, he didn't mind as much.

Besides, the Stars penalty kill actually gave them a chance to score a shorthanded goal, but Tim Cole's laser from the point clanged off the metal. When Whitlock ran onto the pitch following his penalty, he was able to run onto a nice pass from Dyer, which led to a spectacular save. However, the rebound went right back to Whitlock and he knew exactly what to do with it.

The second quarter proved to be even as both teams scored twice, so Sarzonia went into the halftime intermission with a 4-2 lead. Robbie Fernando scored one of Sarzonia's second quarter goals and Dyer added the second. In the third quarter, those two combined with Whitlock to score each of the three goals the Stars would put up, compared to three goals from Jhung to keep the match close at 7-5 going into the fourth.

However, the fourth proved to be Stars Time. The Stars scored five goals and only allowed one answer tally by Jhung and finished with a 12-6 victory. As fitting revenge, Whitlock scored his fourth goal of the contest to wrap up the scoring, and provide the team with both the real and symbolic edge of having more goals than their opponents in the two meetings.

When the final whistle sounded, the Stars quickly gathered to celebrate. They knew they had a long road ahead of them, but they at least finished their fourth consecutive victory the way they'd hoped. Now, they were actually the Group A leaders due to tiebreakers. Now they were in position to claim the number two seed if the group stage were to end tonight.

But more importantly, they showed they still had plenty of fight left in them. And for a team that was deflated by their first experience as host country in the World Lacrosse Championship, that was more than enough.

[The Fanboyists]

Vols Back on Track!

The Vols managed a 19-13 smashing of Churchma to get back on course towards qualifying; next will be a BYE, along with the final games against Qazox and Toiletdonia.

"Each of those is going to be critical," Team Captain Joe Sturgis said after the game. "If we don't beat Toiletdonia or Qazox, we might not be able to qualify, and no winning record will be able to save us."

Kate Strasbourg added legitimacy to her Hall of Fame nomination with an eleven goal night.

That leaves Qazox and Toiletdonia left to deal with.

"We can take 'em," we were told by goalkeeper Hannah Devine, who has reportedly gotten over her fear of badgers. "It won't be easy, but we'll get 'em."

Everyone here sure hopes so.

[Sarzonia]

One of the things about politicians on any side of "the aisle" is that they create a lot of red tape that needs to be CUT, just like I'm doing with RP cut offs now.

Scores and tables up soon!

Group A Scores
Sarzonia 13-6 Tarrentum
Jhung 15-11 Cassadaigua
Elemanu: BYE

Group A	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Sarzonia	5	2	.714   106	76	30
Jhung	        5	2	.714	90	81	9
Elemanu	        4	2	.667	81	76	5
Tarrentum	1	5	.167	63	89	-26 -E
Cassadaigua	1	5	.167	67	85	-18 -E

Sarzonia ahead of Jhung on point differential in head-to-head as both teams have one win apiece. Tarrentum ahead of Cassadaigua on head-to-head result.

Group B Scores
Delaclava 9-6 TGWTGLand
Cosumar 15-6 Secristan
Silver Beach: BYE

Group B	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Delaclava       5	2       .714	78	68	10
Cosumar	        4	3       .571	83	79	4
Silver Beach	3	3       .500	71	75	-4
Secristan	2	4       .333	72	74	-2
TGWTGLand       2	4       .333	59	67	-8

Secristan ahead of TGWTGLand on head-to-head result.

Group C Scores
Qazox 19-15 Churchma
The New Caribbean 17-14 Teroi
Allamunnic States: BYE

Group C	        W	L	PCT.	PF	PA	PD
Qazox	        5	2	.714	92	80	12
Teroi	        4	2	.667	93	81	12
Alla. States	4	2	.667	98	80	18
TNC	        2	5	.286	80	104	-27 E
Churchma	1	5	.167	87	106	-19 -E

Teroi leads Allamunnic States on head-to-head result.

[Qazox]

LacrosseToday.net

Game ID: 178343 (Qazox v. Churchma @ Estrella Motor Cars Field @ Grizzlies Park.)

BOX SCORE:

Churchma 3 4 4 4  15
Qazox    4 5 5 5  19

The Grizzlies' fate is in the hands and Lacrosse sticks of the Allamunnic States now. Qazox moved atop the Group C standings with a 19-15 victory over Churchma, eliminating them. With Allamunnic States facing both Qazox and Toiletdonia in their next 2 matches; a loss by our rivals in either game (hopefully tommorrow) would clinch a playoff berth for Qazox and possibly the group title.

Vance Kohler scored 7 goals today, coupled with 3 goals each from Wesley Hart & Thoimas Potamek as Qazox wore down Churchma. Every time Churchma climbed to within a goal of the Grizzlies' lead, someone managed to increase the lead again.

So our playoff hope all rest on our next game at Federal Steel Field in the Allamunnic States. A win and we take home the group; a loss and perhaps we might go home, that is if Allamunnic States decides to throw the final game vs. Toiletdonia. If such an action does occur, Qazox will unilaterally withdraw itself from all future World Lacrosse Championships.

Qazoxian Scoring Summary:
Kohler-7
Potamek- 3
Hart- 3
Akinora- 2
Chapman- 2
Mattheiu- 2

[Elemanu]

[Toiletdonia]

It is snowing outside and the two teenage monk prodigies are sitting around inside their little house on the mountain. They watched the lacrosse and were still shaking their heads. The tried to go outside but they nearly died so they stayed in by the fire drinking coco and waiting for things to blow over. They weren't but one of them decided to go out anyway.

"Why would you want to go out anyway? It's blowing a gale out there!"

"Oh well I just want to go to the Lacrosse club to see the big game."

"No we just watched the big game and we lost live with it."

"I won't. Look I just want to stretch my legs."

"You'll die out there you know."

"No I won't! Anyway I want to know what it's like to play Lacrosse in the snow."

"Cold and horrible so there now you don't."

"Shut up I'm going anyway!"

"It's your funeral."

The teen slammed the door and went outside. He walked through the snow and his feet went cold. He started to think aloud.

"I'll show him. I'll make it. I'll be fine. Unless there's a bear then I'm dead but if I died that would show him. I want to play Lacrosse anyway and a little bit of snow won't stop me he'll see! Anyway it'll cheer me up. He's a dick anyway I don't need him. Not now not ever! I don't even care if I die and I'll show. I'll show him good!"

After 5 minutes he dropped down in the snow and made a decision to go back to the little house on the mountain and back to the life of a holy monk.

"I told you and you wouldn't listen!"

"Well sorry. I guess were stuck here then."

"Sure looks like it but oh well."

"Can you pass me the coco please?"

"Sure. Fine. I will."

[Sarzonia]

If it were any other team, the turnaround might be considered stunning. After all, going from 0-2 and looking like a team that was destined for Raveaesque infamy to 5-2 and the number one seed if the knockouts began immediately is not something most teams can even ponder.

However, this is the Sarzonian national lacrosse team we're talking about. The Stars rattled off their fifth consecutive victory with a 13-6 win over Tarrentum, which resulted in the team all but clinching a spot in the knockout rounds.

It was a far cry from the previous World Lacrosse Championships Sarzonia hosted. As any Sarzonian would be quick to remind you, it was the first time the Stars failed to qualify for the knockout rounds in lacrosse. Thus far, it looks like it will be the only time.

For Sarzonia, Tim Cole and Carter Whitlock made sure the 0-2 beginning seemed like it happened long ago, or in some wacky alternate universe where the Stars are not a traditional lacrosse powerhouse. Cole scored five goals while Whitlock added four and three assists. Goaltender Mark Tomscik made seven saves. The defence held Tarrentum scoreless over a 22:31 stretch of the first and second quarters.

"We just did a stellar job out there," Tomscik said. "The saves I had to make tonight weren't that tough for the most part."

The scoreless drought led the Stars to take a 7-2 lead at halftime. They made it 10-3 by the end of the third quarter, when most of the starters got well-deserved breaks. It was a time Harold Price could experiment with combinations ahead of the final match of the qualifying stage, away to Elemanu.

"Tonight was a good way to close the home portion of our schedule," Price said. "We gave the 35,000 supporters in the house something to remember ahead of the knockout rounds."

Mathematically, no teams have clinched a spot in the knockout rounds, but four teams have been officially eliminated from knockout round contention. Even though Sarzonia would have to lose big to Elemanu and Silver Beach would have to win astronomically to snatch a spot in the knockout rounds from the Stars -- a combination of 35 goals to favour Silver Beach -- the Stars still are going to approach the final match as if their playoff lives depended on it.

"If we shit the bed in our final match, we could end up playing Allamunnic States or one of those really tough teams that's emerged in this tournament," Whitlock said. "The best thing we can do is keep our focus and hope the chips fall where they may."

[The Fanboyists]

The team had gathered up in the lockerroom in preparation for the game against Qazox.

The usual drills were run through, of course, but they also ran through a number of attacks and counterattacks before the Qazians took the field.

The Allamunnae were almost automatically running the things at this point, and McDowell was very pleased with the results as he took them aside before the game began. He knew the Qazians had watched them practice, but he wasn't overly concerned; they wouldn't have had time to do more than that formulate perfunctory defenses against each. And it was nothing they couldn't have found by scouting or watching game film, as the Vols had certainly done.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen. This is it. This is where we fulfill expectations. This is where we get our own back, where we qualify, and where we win ourselves further recognition. This is where our chance to make history starts." Frank stopped, and let the full weight of his words hit the players.

"But, more importantly, your people, your country, are watching, and are hoping for your success. Please don't disappoint them."

As McDowell left the room, Kate stood up.

"Hey, y'all, I just had a little somethin' I wanted to say." She paused, took a breath, and said "I'm sorry I havn't been able to hang out with you all as much as we've all done in the past. I'm sorry I havn't been able to hit the pads and the tape as much as you all deserve, in terms of work from your teammate. And I'm sorry I won't be back next year."

The last words hit all of them like cinderblocks.

"I'm pregnant, so, after a lot of thought, which is why I havn't been around as much, lately, I've decided that I'm going to take the year off, next year, assuming all goes normally with the pregnancy, to take care of our child."

There was a stony silence, then applause. It started simply with Maarkus Backstrom, then it spread to Eric Zimmermann, then Cassie took it up, and soon, the entire room was clapping.

"Congratulations!"
"That's great to hear, Kate!"
"--Well, not the bit where you're taking next year off--"
"--but a baby!"