Asexuality/Aromanticism Discussion Thread

[Acearo]

Asexuality-the lack of sexual attraction
Aromanticism-the lack of romantic attraction
demisexual-requiring a close emotional bond to experience sexual attraction
gray asexual-rarely, but not never, experiencing sexual attraction
sexual attraction=/=romantic attraction
http://www.asexuality.org <-- good site
Often times, individuals who associate with these labels are misunderstood.
Being called prude, a robot, heartless
being told you just haven't met the right person, how can you know if you haven't had sex, it's just a phase
These are only some of the experiences asexual individuals face.
I first came out as asexual on facebook, the first two things said were, "What does that mean?" and "It means reproducing through mitosis or something"
This is an issue I want to have a logical and civil discussion on, especially as this appears to be the first thread of its kind on the subject

[Farnhamia]

This thread is for the discussion of Asexuality and Aromanticism.
I will answer any questions to the best of my ability.
I also wish for everyone to have an open mind and to not attack anyone through this Thread

This is not how we open a thread here, with an invitation to "Ask me anything about ..." If you want a discussion on this topic, first explain what it is, then propose some items for discussion. To give you an opportunity to do so, I won't lock this immediately.

[Threlizdun]

I would recommend structuring this like the LGBT discussion thread and linking to appropriate resources and references if you want the thread to continue. At least a basic explanation of asexuality, aromanticism, demo sexuality, and gray asexuality, as well as the issues faced by those who identify with these labels, would be an appropriate way to introduce the subject.

[Tolko Temnota]

I am a proud Aexual.

(joke based on earlier thread title)

[Cetacea]

I'm not asexual - quite the opposite - but I am fascinated with the concept and have been since I first met an Asexual person who identified herself as such. She was a relieving teacher we had in one day during my senior High School year. I can't remember what our discussion topic was but she informed us as part of it that she was both married and asexual which at the time kinda blew my mind - it was just such a novel notion to me for whom marriage had always been linked to sexual union. I think meeting her was a good introduction as she was (to my teenage mind at least) attractive, happy and well adjusted - ie she didn't fit any kind of frigid prude stereotype and thus I haven't associated the two together.

I've met two others since then one who described themselves as married but celibate, and another guy who did fit the vulcan nerd stereotype.

anyway just saying hi, but probably can't add to much more other than to raise the question of how asexual relationships work within marriage and such (there not really discussions you get in to casually)

NB I hope my comment or interest doesn't come across as creepy or condescending, it is intended as respectful

[Wolfmanne2]

Asexuality seems fascinating. I suppose in a way it is liberating, however in a society where people devote so much time to one significant other, I find it hard to imagine being asexual. It would be interesting to hear some perspectives from asexuals themselves.

[Kraylandia]

Not asexual myself. I'm bisexual in fact but find the concept of a sexuality fascinating. It'll be good to hear from some asexuals in this thread.

[Singapore Islands]

Still unsure as of now..but demisexuality/graysexuality kinda fits me. I actually had an AVEN account, but I forgot the password. Now that I think of it, I should go log on back there

[Acearo]

Asexuality seems fascinating. I suppose in a way it is liberating, however in a society where people devote so much time to one significant other, I find it hard to imagine being asexual. It would be interesting to hear some perspectives from asexuals themselves.

It is annoying being told what you are is not real, but it's better than lying in a relationship

[Tolko Temnota]

Asexuality seems fascinating. I suppose in a way it is liberating, however in a society where people devote so much time to one significant other, I find it hard to imagine being asexual. It would be interesting to hear some perspectives from asexuals themselves.

It is annoying being told what you are is not real, but it's better than lying in a relationship

Indeed. I'm not asexual, but I once had a conversation with someone who said asexuality wasn't a "real" sexuality. I eventually convinced him otherwise, but he insisted it be called something other than asexuality since apparently asexually reproducing organisms have a monopoly on the term.

[Acearo]

It is annoying being told what you are is not real, but it's better than lying in a relationship

Indeed. I'm not asexual, but I once had a conversation with someone who said asexuality wasn't a "real" sexuality. I eventually convinced him otherwise, but he insisted it be called something other than asexuality since apparently asexually reproducing organisms have a monopoly on the term.

What other word or phrase could one adequately use to describe asexuality, though.

[Anima Gentem]

Indeed. I'm not asexual, but I once had a conversation with someone who said asexuality wasn't a "real" sexuality. I eventually convinced him otherwise, but he insisted it be called something other than asexuality since apparently asexually reproducing organisms have a monopoly on the term.

What other word or phrase could one adequately use to describe asexuality, though.

Non-sexual? Idk. I personally don't really care. Everyone just do their own thing, even if it's not doing anything

[Tolko Temnota]

Indeed. I'm not asexual, but I once had a conversation with someone who said asexuality wasn't a "real" sexuality. I eventually convinced him otherwise, but he insisted it be called something other than asexuality since apparently asexually reproducing organisms have a monopoly on the term.

What other word or phrase could one adequately use to describe asexuality, though.

I dunno. In hindsight, I suspect that the guy may not have been entirely serious.

[Finland SSR]

There is no friendship or love.

There is only acting and selfishness.

[Charlia]

I identify as asexual, and have actually had several people(both in real life and on NS) call me a liar to my face, saying that asexual people are either liars or dysfunctional. While I've been called dysfunctional before, it still irritates me, and I can't stand that people think A: that asexual people are liars or dysfunctional, and B: that it's somehow okay to say that to us!

On the other hand, there are the many confused people who have asked things like 'What's asexuality?' or 'So you can't fall in love, then?' and I've had to explain to them. Those people are usually better than the people who just outright don't believe me.

And then on the hypothetical third hand, there's the people who are just accepting, whether they know what it is or don't feel the need to know what it is--it's me, so they're cool with it. Those people I like very much.

...Also, it makes for some great jokes when I say 'Eh, still trying to master the art of splitting myself in half'. Those of my friends who get it usually find it amusing.

[Morr]

I don't see anything wrong with never wanting to have sex due to lack of interest. I think making an identity out of being "asexual", is a bit strange, though.

[Acearo]

I don't see anything wrong with never wanting to have sex due to lack of interest. I think making an identity out of being "asexual", is a bit strange, though.

well, there really isn't any other option though, don't feel comfortable associating with any other sexuality, and sexuality has become a big part of society

[Morr]

I don't see anything wrong with never wanting to have sex due to lack of interest. I think making an identity out of being "asexual", is a bit strange, though.

well, there really isn't any other option though, don't feel comfortable associating with any other sexuality, and sexuality has become a big part of society

I don't know why you would have to associate with any sexuality, but of course you're right, sex has become a neurotic obsession.

[The Serbian Empire]

I identify as asexual, and have actually had several people(both in real life and on NS) call me a liar to my face, saying that asexual people are either liars or dysfunctional. While I've been called dysfunctional before, it still irritates me, and I can't stand that people think A: that asexual people are liars or dysfunctional, and B: that it's somehow okay to say that to us!

On the other hand, there are the many confused people who have asked things like 'What's asexuality?' or 'So you can't fall in love, then?' and I've had to explain to them. Those people are usually better than the people who just outright don't believe me.

And then on the hypothetical third hand, there's the people who are just accepting, whether they know what it is or don't feel the need to know what it is--it's me, so they're cool with it. Those people I like very much.

...Also, it makes for some great jokes when I say 'Eh, still trying to master the art of splitting myself in half'. Those of my friends who get it usually find it amusing.

Asexual means no sexual attraction. Aromantic is what those people confused thinking one can't fall in love.

[United Colonies of Earth Defense Force]

well, there really isn't any other option though, don't feel comfortable associating with any other sexuality, and sexuality has become a big part of society

I don't know why you would have to associate with any sexuality, but of course you're right, sex has become a neurotic obsession.

Most English swearwords apparently have something to do with sex, so that might be connected...
I'm not asexual. I'm cool with people who are, though. I dunno if anyone I know is.

[Kraylandia]

I don't see anything wrong with never wanting to have sex due to lack of interest. I think making an identity out of being "asexual", is a bit strange, though.

I don't see anything weird about it.

[Morr]

I don't see anything wrong with never wanting to have sex due to lack of interest. I think making an identity out of being "asexual", is a bit strange, though.

I don't see anything weird about it.

Sexual orientation as an identity started with clinical diagnosis of this or that sexuality as an illness.

[Acearo]

I don't see anything weird about it.

Sexual orientation as an identity started with clinical diagnosis of this or that sexuality as an illness.

I agree that it shouldn't be a part of identity, but unfortunately it is

[Morr]

Sexual orientation as an identity started with clinical diagnosis of this or that sexuality as an illness.

I agree that it shouldn't be a part of identity, but unfortunately it is

Not for me.

[Acearo]

I agree that it shouldn't be a part of identity, but unfortunately it is

Not for me.

good for you X3