21. ELECTRUM
Song: "What You've Missed"
Aritist: Kane McDermott
Tune: Super Freak by Rick James
After a protracted selection process, Network ENN had narrowed it down internally into two finalists. Network ENN weren't used to this situation happening as they were used to the audience/international juries choosing the songs, but they had to pick and decided to go for Jacinta Pitjantjatjara's song about rural life in Electrum -- but alas, Jacinta pulled out at the last minute due to her pregnancy with a child, so by default, Kane McDermott got the Electrum spot by default. Network ENN went for a funk song, in the usual tradition of changing genres every edition -- a drastic shift from the dramatic duet from last edition which placed 9th. Network ENN executives are hoping a return to the third place spot on the podium -- Electrum hasn't been on that spot since Worldvision 38.
McDermott goes on stage with a mysterious lady, who turns out to play the role of a former lover/girlfriend in this song. The stage was plunged into darkness until suddenly the instantly recognisable riff sounded, and the spotlight was the two people on stage. They are sitting on a park bench, and she immediately pushes him away (apparently to break up with him), and she walks off stage. McDermott then stands up, dusts his leather jacket and starts singing.
You've made a terrible choice
You're going to regret this forever
I'm as free as I'll ever be
You bet I'm off the market, oh man
I'm a sexy womaniser
And I've already replaced you
You've chosen the wrong man to break up
It's never my fault, oh, no
All of a sudden, as soon as 'sexy womaniser' was spoken, a bevy of ladies comes up to him and start dancing seductively. They are wearing leg warmers, some have stockings, some have pony tails and all of them were of different ethnicities. They also sing the backing vocals from now on, supporting Kane throughout the song. One of them jiggles and twerks on stage, whereas another one is clutching his hand -- he spins her around. The lights are pulsing green and red, and are projecting in all directions.
I'm going to forget you
(Look at what you're missing)
I've found a girl unlike you
(Wasted opportunity)
I'll kiss her in front of you
(He makes me tingle)
She's my very own face leech
(No shame at all)
I'm all right, I'm all right
And we're feeling fine
Hey, hey, hey-heeeey
Look at what you've missed, what you've missed
This is what you're missing, yow
What you've missed, what you've missed
As Kane is having fun and enjoying the disco dancing, the lady who broke up with him reappears on stage, all of a sudden the lights stop and the spotlight is on them two again. She crawls and tries to work her way up, but he steps back, making her fall to the ground. But she is very persistent, as she stands back up and begs in his face. He just ignores her and continues to sing. The group of ladies form a circle around him and spin, acting as a barrier.
You played with my emotions
(What an awful thing to do)
You think you were god's gift to me
(Broke on your fall, yeah)
But I don't have to endure your passive aggression
Or your smirk
(Do it to someone else)
Don't come back with an apology
(Not even a sorry)
With your tail between your legs
Not even all the money in the world will bring me back
Cause you don't deserve me
'The ex-girlfriend' gives him a push whilst money falls from the ceiling. She walks away in a disgruntled manner, and the party restarts again. In particular, this lady comes up to him and starts to kiss him, while he's singing (Not sure how that's possible, but we'll go with it).
I'm going to forget you
(Look at what you're missing)
I've found a girl unlike you
(Wasted opportunity)
I'll kiss her in front of you
(He makes me tingle)
She's my very own face leech
(No shame at all)
I'm all right, I'm all right
And we're feeling fine
Hey, hey, hey-heeeey
Look at what you've missed, what you've missed
This is what you're missing, yow
The girls continue dancing (as in the video), this time Kane pulls out an electric guitar from out of nowhere, and starts playing it -- not really, since he is just fake playing it.
This is the end
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oooooh)
What you've missed, What you've missed
Look at what you're missing
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oooooh)
You've made a terrible choice
You're going to regret this forever
I'm as freer as I'll ever be
You bet I'm off the market,
Take it away!
Roses are thrown onto the stage as Kane finishes the solo and walks off.