Haktiva wrote:Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:
Messy breakups can happen to unmarried couples too. The mess that results from the end of a relationship isn't a good reason to ban marriages from happening or that we should do away with it altogether. (not saying you're advocating that)
ban marriage? where did that come from? that makes about as much sense as banning drugs(though it would be pretty funny to imagine underground marriage rackets). and trust me, i've seen shitty breakups all over the place. either everyone around me in an asshole or I've missed some enlightening lesson somewhere aside from "don't get married"
Oh, I've seen the idea crop up on NSG several times.
Although backgrounds related to family experiences (particularly messy divorces among parents) can color our view of marriage or of other situations, we are individuals and there's no reason to think that we must follow the same pattern our parents, grandparents or other relatives did. You make your own situation work. And if it doesn't, at least you can rest in the knowledge that you gave it your best.
Anecdote and dismiss if you want: I am the product of divorced parents. For years I was terrified of the idea of marriage. I lived in with two partners before and I knew I didn't see them as marriage material. I was ok with that.
Then I met my husband to be and, after almost 6 years, I can say that I do not have to follow on my parents' footsteps on this. I make my own relationship and work at it. Marriage has, so far, turned out to be a beautiful experience for me.