Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

[Qianrong]

QIANRONG TODAY
Today's top stories about events within and about Qianrong

Klitishko describes ONC-OGIE split as "increasingly irreconcilable"; says OQA "will find [its] own path"
AUGUST 18, 2015- Shanliang, Qianrong- Otekian Qianrongese Association leader Myhrodniv Klitishko has said that his organization would be finding its "own path" due to increasingly severe policy differences between the Otekian government-in-exile, the Otekian National Coalition, and itself. "We have done our utmost to try and prevent schisms in the Luziycan Qianrongese community, but it is obvious that for those of us in the Qianrongese Otekian community, we will have to find our own path."

Klitishko described devomax as "a non-solution" to the
issues facing Oteki.

Klitishko was speaking to a group of reporters at the OQA's headquarters in the Shudenov otekitown of Shanliang shortly after a series of shocking announcements pertaining to Oteki, namely that the Otekian National Coalition was preparing to officially drop support of independence in favor of "devomax", or maximum devolution, and that it was preparing to possibly engage in negotiations with the Namorese government, which rules over the region and has often been accused of abuses there.

"While devomax would be a step forward, it is ultimately a non-solution," Klititshko told the press. "The problems facing Oteki- demographic manipulation, discrimination, political repression, police brutality, and the like- have been brought about by Namor's tyrannical reign and will not be solved until Otekian independence is restored... Fu Wen and his regime can claim that the independence of Oteki is a resolved issue, but it is not, and it will never be until the national sovereignty and natural rights of the Otekian nation are respected."

The OQA has never perfectly aligned with the Otekian government exile, a fact that OQA leadership has acknowledged in the past. Most notably, the OQA began condemning the Knights of Saint Luther and similar terrorist organizations in the late 1980s, decades before OGIE. While both support Otekian independence, disputes about how to proceed with regards to gaining independence have often been a source of trouble. The OQA was also never quite in line with the Otekian National Coalition, but with devomax likely to become the ONC's official policy, the split between the ONC and the other major groups appears to have become permanent. Official OQA policy maintains that devomax would be "a temporary measure at best... not a permanent solution to the issues facing Oteki."

Hydrogen cyanide detected in Xiangmen after explosions, government orders immediate evacuation of large areas of city
AUGUST 18, 2015- Xiangmen, Qianrong- Interior Minister Pham Kac Vo has announced that large areas of the city of Xiangmen are to be evacuated immediately after dangerous levels of hydrogen cyanide were detected near the site of several explosions that have already killed 62, wounded roughly 700, and left more than 300 missing.

An informal memorial to first responders who
perished in the blasts in Xiangmen.

The blasts occurred late last night after an RPAE suicide bombing set off a fire in a hazardous chemicals warehouse. The building contained the flammable chemicals calcium carbide and ammonium nitrate, and it is also believed that attempts to extinguish the fire using water led to a chemical reaction producing the highly flammable and explosive gas acetylene, which then exploded. Some areas near the blast site were evacuated in the wake of the blasts, with much of the city's infrastructure in the Harbor District having been shut down.

Interior Minister Pham Kac Vo told reporters that investigators had detected cyanide leakage into the city's sewer system and that dangerous levels of hydrogen cyanide were in the air. Sulphur dioxide, carbon monoxide, and nitrogen oxides were all also detected at the site. In order to guarantee the safety of the inhabitants of the city, Pham told reporters, evacuation was necessary. "We began the evacuation in the predawn hours of this morning because there was simply no time to spare," he claimed. "We cannot risk the lives of innocent civilians in the wake of this horrible tragedy." Only firefighters in heavy protective gear would remain in the evacuated areas, Pham said, to try and contain the fire- which is apparently still raging out of control.

RPAE leader Long Jiao-Dan vows "great liberating action" in war against the Second Independent State
AUGUST 18, 2015- Yucheng, Qianrong- Long Jiao-Dan, Chairman of the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism, has vowed to begin a "great liberating action" by the end of the week, sparking fears of a possible second surge by the RPAE.

Long vowed that "the Revolutionary
Army is in motion as I speak", worrying
observers.

"The brave and noble soldiers of the Revolutionary People's Army will forever carry on the struggle to liberate the glorious Qianrongese nation," Long said in a twelve-minute video published on social media, "but it is our sincere hope that we shall soon make a great step towards ending this war with a victory for the Qianrongese people... the Revolutionary Army is in motion as I speak, working to bring about the rise of equalitarianism and the victory of the common man."

Long's remarks have worried many in military and government circles, who fear that the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism is going to make a second major push within the week. While the National Self-Defense Forces have had great success in fighting the Alliance for Sovereignty in Qianrong and ASQ splinter groups like the People's Force for Sovereignty and Independence and All-Qianrong Independence Front, the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism and its allies in the People's Liberation Army of Qianrong have proved to be much tougher nuts to crack. Even as the NSDF ended the siege of Viec Lam and made major gains in Tuhao, it lost significant ground in Minjian to the RPAE.

Long leads the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism, inspired by a prior organization of the same name that fought the nascent Free Democratic Republic in the Qianrongese Civil War. The RPAE, commonly called the Revolutionary Army by its supporters and members, seeks to establish a "Qianrongese Soviet Republic" following the principles of Equalitarianism, a far-leftist ideology similar to communism and liberationism teaching that the common man should strive towards an egalitarian society that could only be brought about by violent revolution, the institution of a strong government and military to safeguard the revolution, and the end of pre-equalitarianism thought. After the large-scale shattering of the ASQ brought about by the death of Ngo Huu Tra, the RPAE has become the primary target of the Second Domestic Terror War. Some analysts say the RPAE is more threatening than the ASQ because it never supported or enacted anything akin to the genocidal policies of the ASQ, which helped alienate potential ASQ supporters and build the international anti-terror coalition.

Guo Tse-Zu, Mataas Pangahatang trial to begin "within the week", according to judicial report
AUGUST 18, 2015- Yucheng, Qianrong- A memo from the Ministry of Justice has said that the two self-declared acting chancellors who tried to save the Free Democratic Republic from impending collapse, Guo Tse-Zu and Mataas Pangahatang, will see their trial begin before the end of the week. "We cannot indefinitely hold these men; we are already pushing the legal limits of this nation- they must be tried for what they have done," the memo read. "The justice system will determine the truth and provide justice as necessary." The two, who will be tried together, have been charged with armed insurrection, high treason, and crimes against humanity, among other charges; it is possible that they could be executed if they are found guilty. Both have pleaded not guilty.

Guo and his successor Pangahatang attempted to
preserve the FDRQ regime, but failed.

Guo Tse-Zu, appointed Acting Minister of Defense and Intelligence by Acting Chancellor Hsieh Jiang-De, was the leader of the December 1 military coup that killed Hsieh and ended with Guo naming himself Acting Chancellor. The Winter Rebellion began when the National Assembly and judiciary argued that Guo had no authority to declare himself Acting Chancellor, instead meeting in Lumangdaungan and naming Li Jian-Zheng as their Acting Chancellor. After protesters captured Guo in Yucheng on January 2, General Secretary of the Nationalist People's Party Mataas Pangahatang- having fled to the city of Vat Nhap- declared himself Acting Chancellor, and continued to defy the Li government until January 8, when several backers of his government switched sides. Both have been held as prisoners awaiting trial.

Under the new Qianrongese judicial system, both men will be entitled to speak in their defense and to have an attorney. The trial will be public, with the verdict being provided by a twelve-man jury and the sentencing determined by the judge. The two will be tried in Yucheng; the judge has been named as Gong Cai-Fan; the jury has also been selected. A brief statement from Guo's lawyer, released earlier today, said that "my client is confident that the jury will see that everything he did was within the best interests of the Qianrongese nation." Pangahatang's lawyer described the charges as "political venegance," saying "this is unbecoming of the Qianrongese government and this sort of fiasco should not occur in any truly democratic nation."

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News from Across Esquarium
QIANRONG- Photos of Xiangmen explosions circulate online
LUZIYCA- Is a victory for Sera Svensson inevitable at this point?
NAMOR- Shohai Antelope joins the Presidency-General race
AUCURIA- Atlia region votes to leave in nonbinding referendum
MICHILLIES- Marteis reveals government as SDLP shatters

[Qianrong]

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BREAKING NEWS
ANARCHY IN XIANGMEN
With thousands of people fleeing the city after revelations of cyanide leaks and a fire still raging in its harbor district,
The city of Xiangmen has been thrown into outright anarchy by the RPAE, which has begun an assault to try and take it over.


The city of Xiangmen, broken by the explosions and now under terrorist assault, burns.

XIANGMEN, QIANRONG- AUGUST 18^th, 2015 - The city of Xiangmen has been thrown into a state of outright chaos after civilians evacuating the city following lethal chemical explosions were met with gunfire and artillery shells as the terrorist group known as the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism launched an all-out assault on the city.

The city was already reeling from a series of lethal explosions that occurred late yesterday evening in the city's harbor district. The explosions- caused by a potent mixture of acetylene, calcium carbide, ammonium nitrate, and fire- were ultimately linked by a blaze triggered by an RPAE suicide bombing and attempts by firefighters to put it out. Already, at least 60 have been declared dead, more than 300 declared missing, and more than 700 are in the city's hospitals and clinics, many of them critically injured.

RPAE-affiliated accounts said that RPAE terrorists had been preparing the assault for months.

The situation worsened further when news broke earlier today that large levels of the dangerous chemical hydrogen cyanide were detected around the site of the explosions. Sulphur dioxide, carbon monoxide, and nitrogen oxides were all also detected at the site. The government began a hurried evacuation of the city early this morning, well before the public announcement of the discovery. "We began the evacuation in the predawn hours of this morning because there was simply no time to spare. We cannot risk the lives of innocent civilians in the wake of this horrible tragedy," Interior Minister Pham Kac Vo said earlier today.

And then, with the city already reeling and on the verge of anarchy, yet more news came in: terrorists belonging to the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism had initiated an assault on the city. The leader of the RPAE, Long Jiao-Dan, had released a video earlier today promising a second series of attacks by his Revolutionary People's Army. "The brave and noble soldiers of the Revolutionary People's Army will forever carry on the struggle to liberate the glorious Qianrongese nation, but it is our sincere hope that we shall soon make a great step towards ending this war with a victory for the Qianrongese people," he proclaimed in a video published online. "The Revolutionary Army is in motion as I speak, working to bring about the rise of equalitarianism and the victory of the common man." Many, however, were not expecting that the attacks promised would come within hours of the announcement.

A few Xiangmenites hazard a trip into the streets in the midst of the chaos gripping the city.

As far as we can tell, the situation in Xiangmen appears to have devolved into near-total anarchy. The military and police are attempting to both to quell panic in the city itself and fight off an RPAE assault they weren't expecting. The inhabitants of the city- trapped between terrorists and toxic chemicals- are in a state of panic, with reports of rioting and looting being widespread. It is unclear if the fire- which is still burning in the Harbor District- is being fought by emergency services, or if search and rescue operations are continuing at all. It is also unclear if how many- if any- citizens successfully evacuated before the attacks. A spokesperson for the Prime Minister's office has confirmed that Prime Minister Qi Chien-Xuan is aware of the situation, and that the government "will be working with local authorities and the military to restore order and repel the assault."

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OTHER NEWS STORIES
Uncensored, Unedited Truth
Namor: Shohai joints Tuyet, Kuo, and Tao in election race
Oteki: Controversy after ONC prepares to negotiate with Fu
Qianrong: Guo, Pangahatang trial to begin within the week
Luziyca: Svensson continues to dominate Luziycan polls
Michillies: Marteis unveils government amidst controversy

[Michillies]

-retconned-

[Montenia F and D]

live election day as it happens

In 30 seconds a new page will be written with Safolen, will the predictions of an independantist movement winning become true ? Will Republican Now write a new page of its success ?

N. Alexandrescu | 18:29

We're 2 minutes away from the first estimations in Safolen.

C. Ardelean | 18:28

Hi Cristian and welcome in Safolen, under the rain, a storm prepares itself but the weather didn't prevented the ballots to be counted in the City Hall, with all the ballots boxes of the city, according to the latest polls, the All-Montkoller Party will win the election, with 7 seats, followed by Republic Now with 3 seats, but the ballots that have been counted say that only 4 seats will go to the AMP, we'll see that in 3 minutes.

M. Popescu (live from Safolen) | 18:27

Our eyes are now turned on Safolen, cultural capital of New Monticole, we join Marian Popescu.

C. Ardelean | 18:22

Duke of Fenuolhas - EN @HRHMarcIVEn Well, congratulations. #FenuolhasDecided RETWEETSFAVORITE 2985289

Joy breaks out in Perpinuj as Republic Now won with an overwhelming majority.

And the results are in, of all the 32 seats on the Chamber of Fenuolhas, Republic Now won 22 seats, an overwhelming majority, the Front for Fenuolhas, the independantists won 5 seats, the Party for Osonia and the Alliance of Liberals are tied with 2 seats and the Alliance of Fenuolhan Monarchists only won 1 seat.

N. Alexandrescu | 18:00

Live from Munte Copec you will see the future of Montenia, Fayerland, Dunaria, New Monticole and Fenuolhas as it writes itself, in 30 seconds from now you will see the next Chamber of Fenuolhas, will Republic Now win a majority, will the independantists and pro-Osonians rise, you'll get the answer to these questions now.

N. Alexandrescu | 17:59

However, the results will be in in 6 minutes...

A. Lungu (live from Nou Lemoj, Fenuolhas) | 17:54

This tweet from the recently crowned Duke of Fenuolhas Marc IV has a sense that a majority of Fenuolhas inhabitants can't understand...

A. Lungu (live from Nou Lemoj, Fenuolhas) | 17:51

Duke of Fenuolhas - EN @HRHMarcIVEn Democracy is a power that should not be underestimated. #FenuolhasDecides RETWEETSFAVORITE 2985289

Hello Narcisa, let me tell you that from 28% of the ballots that have been counted, the provisional results are in, regionwide : Republic Now ! and the Front for Fenuolhas are tied up with 39% of the popular vote, followed by the Party for Osonia with 29% of the counted votes. In Fenuolhas, the monarchists and the liberals were never popular, and all the vice-dukes of Fenuolhas were from opposition parties.

A. Lungu (live from Nou Lemoj, Fenuolhas) | 17:32

Hi, and welcome in the live coverage of the Election Night. Live from the MZIAR MUNTE COPEC press room, we'll tell you the elections as it happens. And the first results will come in, as the Fenuolhas inhabitants stopped voting some minutes ago, Alex Lungu is in Nou Lemoj, where all the ballots are being counted.

N. Alexandrescu | 17:24

Let me remind you the revealing order of the first estimations for every duchy and city.

18h00 : Duchy of Fenuolhas
18h30 : Council of Safolen
19h00 : Duchy of New Monticole + Council of Rinaptisti
19h30 : City Councils of Orastineri and Orasdunar
20h00 : City Council of Munte Copec
20h30 : Duchy of Fayernol
21h00 : Duchy of Dunaria
21h30 : Duchy of Montenia Proper

C. Bălan | 12:56

Here, in Dunaria, the results of a poll that was done yesterday by MZIAR DUNARIA were just revealed now. And the results aren't a surprise : 31% of the voters are gonna vote Republic Now ! followed by the Alliance of Liberals with 22% of the voters. Here's the full poll :

31% Republic Now !
22% Alliance of Liberals
20% Alliance of Dunarian Monarchists
18% Dunarian Labour Party
7% Front for Monarchy
2% Dunarian Greens

M. Negrescu (live from Orasdunari) | 12:47

At noon, already 32% of the Montenese citizens voted.

C. Bălan | 12:31

Let me tell you that there will be an high amount of voters today, 82% of the Montenese citizens and readers of MZIAR said in our polls yesterday that they're going to vote today...

C. Bălan | 12:29

We will be live with our correspondants in all the major cities of Montenia, and in the headquarters of the parties.

N. Alexandrescu | 12:24

Hi, and welcome in the live coverage of the regional parliament elections, elections that are expected to be the most dangerous ones for the Montenese throne in a century. I'm Narcisa Alexandrescu, and i'll be with several other experts to show you the situation of the elections through the day.

N. Alexandrescu | 12:22

[Namor]

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Line For Line
News as they said it

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Report by Hang Gukjun

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"This is an opportunity for peace and we definitely shouldn't let it go."

Txotai All-Otekian Party Chairman James Narayev on the "Otekian National Coalition (ONC)"'s widely anticipated decision to recognize Txotai as Namorese territory, allowing talks with Namo to open

"The brave and noble soldiers of the Revolutionary People's Army will forever carry on the struggle to liberate the glorious Qianrongese nation."

Long Jiao-Dan, leader of Qianrong's Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism (RPAE), vowing a second surge against the Qianrongese govt

"Shut up, whore!"

Narsete La Via, candidate in the Luziycan presidential election, to Liberal candidate Sera Svensson in the second debate. In the same debate, La Via exposed himself as a former "Purity Congress" member, hurting his popularity in the preliminary polls

"In retrospect, I think everybody had overblown the affair."

Minister of Public Security Jeng Sho speaking about the Esquarileaks scandal in an interview with the Liberator. Jeng advised Fu not to deliver humanitarian aid to Qianrongese Otekians, which Fu rejected

[Geadland]

GOVERNMENT TO POSTPONE SPENDING CUTS AMID "UNCERTAINTY"
Loettervik unveils Autumn Adjustments to the 2015 budget.

19 August 2015 Last updated 12:32 Geadish Standard Time
In a surprise move, Minister of Finance Dag Loettervik announced that the government would not cut spending any further until the next budget cycle, as he presented the government's Autumn Adjustments package to the House of Representatives.

The government's current budget was delivered last November and covers this calendar year. As with the previous budget, this cut government spending as part of the government's program to balance the budget by the time of the next election. In March, the government passed some amendments to the budget (the Spring Adjustments) that decreased spending somewhat further, arguing that the budget had not reined in spending as much as they would have liked. They were expected to cut spending slightly further this month, though not radically. Instead, the government said they would make only minor adjustments that kept spending levels the same. He said the government intended to resume their plans with the next budget, which will be presented in November and become effective in the new year.

Loettervik argued that "The economic forecast is not quite as positive as it was earlier this year, mainly because of a variety of events going on that have made businesses less certain about the direction our economies are headed in." He mentioned Geadland's sudden exist from NOSDO last month, the continued tension in South Conitia, slowing growth in Geadland's closest trading partners and upcoming elections in Geadland's neighbours as factors that were causing the rising uncertainty. "We're seeing potential pitfalls emerging that have a real potential to slow our growth, or worse."

In the official response from the opposition, SDLP Deputy Leader Angela Harlo said that "We're not going to waste much time thanking for not implementing budget plans that should never have been considered," and that "This does nothing to reverse the tide." She also said that real spending levels would still be falling due to inflation. Her colleague Johannes Kopp argued that "austerity is a self-defeating spiral. If you cut spending you slow the economy down, causing revenues to fall and bringing you exactly back to where you were before."

[Graznia]

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Graznia rearming due to new insurgent threats
President speaks at memorial service

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DZHENKUJE- President Trovik Kroiszvitch spoke today at the Dzhenkuje Orthodox Church, during the memorial service for the 17 victims of a carbombing attack that occurred this Monday. The attack was claimed by the separatist paramilitary group known as the Ulraz National Front. The ethnic nationalist terrorists are infamous for their savagery and brutal methods, and have racked up an increasing amount of deaths to their name over the past few years.

The recent attack occurred in central Dzhenkuje, near an apartment block. Plastic explosives planted by the terrorists were detonated at approximately 5:43 PM on Monday, and immediately killed 14 people, with 3 more dying later of their wounds. A total of 89 people were injured by the attack. At the memorial service for the victims held by Dzhenkuje's municipal government, President Kroiszvitch arrived, flanked by heavily armed guards. He spoke in front of a large crowd on the rainy summer day, and talked about the need to face terrorism and fight for democracy.

As our loved ones fade from this world, it is our duty to keep up the fight. This act of cowardice is an attack against our democracy, and we must preserve our free way of life, no matter what the cost.

Meanwhile, in response to the general rise of terrorism in the nation, not only from Ulraz terrorists, the Parliament of Graznia passed a new bill 143-27 that approved ascension to WETO membership. The Western Esquarium Treaty Organization is an intergovernmental military alliance formed to protect global peace, and ascension guarantees the friendship of larger powers such as Ainin and Namor. As well, government officials have rumoured that Graznia is due to purchase large quantities of high-quality arms from its neighbours to help deal with the insurgent threat.

Above: Graznian soldiers on deployment in Brezhno

In related news, the government is due to present a budget soon, which will be voted on by Parliament. With Kroiszvitch's National Conservative Party holding a supermajority in the House of Parliament, it is extremely likely that the budget will pass without any major opposition. While the exact details of the budget are unknown, given the trend of increased military spending in the last four years since his election as well as the rising terror threat, it is expected that the military budget will be raised from its current status.

The murders and crime committed by insurgents has also provided a boost to Kroiszvitch's image. After the 2011 election, his approval ratings reached a record high, when 67% of polled Graznians said they approved of the new President. Since then, a troubled economy and declining stability brought it down to 44% by June. However, most recent polling shows approval for Kroiszvitch in the 49-52% range, which could mean good things for him and the NCP in next year's election.

[Vordallia]

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PROTESTS BEGIN IN ONIRSK AS ECONOMY GETS WORSE

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ONIRSK- For the past couple weeks after a future depression was announced to be on the horizon by the Aininian government, the effects have been showing. The economy has been spiraling downward and protesters are assembling in Onirsk, calling the economical troubles a failure of the communist system. Ever since Alexei Pirikhov's anti-neutrality reforms that opened Vordallia to the world in 2014, Vordallians are becoming more and more aware that their government is in the political minority.

Pro-capitalism protesters filed through the streets to the Kremlin today, chanting "Анов лгал нам!" (Anov lied to us!) and "Отпусти рынках!" (Let go of the markets!) In response, the Supreme Soviet released this statement over Twitter: "We are shocked that a system we have trusted and remained content with for 120 years is now the subject of protest amongst our own people. We encourage the protesters to stop protesting, lest things get worse and boil over. Instead of complaining, help to bring the economy to its former heights once more!"

It is expected by various political analysts, however, that these protests will only continue to grow. The government has begun a massive stockpile of the country's resources so things do not boil over when the actual recession hits. A vote has also begun on whether Vordallia should assist the fight against the Caliphate or not.

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In other news:
▶ Depression is coming; valuable oil fields overrun by the Caliphate
▶ Luziycan Presidential Debate ends, all candidates but one for treaty with Vordallia
▶ ASQ confirms death of Ngo Huu Tra; RPAE, still fighting, throws Xiangmen, Qianrong into anarchy
▶ Supreme Soviet still divided over whether to support RPAE or not
▶ Otekian National Coalition to enter negotiations with Namor

[Qianrong]

SOLDIERS OF THE REVOLUTIONARY PEOPLE'S ARMY LIBERATE THE PEOPLE & CITY OF XIANGMEN
INHABITANTS WELCOME FORCES OF EQUALITY AND LIBERTY, VOW TO SUPPORT THE PUSH FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE


Brave heroes of the Revolutionary People's Army rest in a field after their liberation of Xiangmen.

AUGUST 19 2015 XIANGMEN, QIANRONG- The brave men and women of the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism have scored a great victory in our quest for the liberation of the Qianrongese archipelago, ending the reign of the Yucheng regime over the people and city of Xiangmen the largest city to have been liberated by those noble souls who are risking their lives for the rights and liberties of all Qianrongese.

The battle for the city truly began after a pair of martyrs gave their lives by setting off a suicide bomb outside of a hazardous chemical facility in the city's Harbor District. It is true that this did cause some unfortunate civilian casualties; while this is admittedly grievous, it also illustrates why this glorious revolution is necessary: in any true state of the people, such hazardous chemical facilities would not be allowed so close to residential neighborhoods, nor would they contain such large amounts of dangerous chemicals. The aftereffects of this attack threw the soldiers and police occupying the city into outright chaos.

While the corrupt occupiers were panicking and turning their weapons on the people they ostensibly protect, the brave and noble forces of the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism launched a great surprise attack, shelling military-industrial areas of the city and then moving in to end the Yucheng regime's reign of terror. Though the despots in Yucheng had said they would never allow the city's liberation, many of the soldiers defending the city surrendered- indeed, many realized the error of their ways, and defected to serve in the forces of liberation. Resistance was light, and the city fell quickly and with few casualties on any side. After the battle, the heroes in the Revolutionary Army worked alongside the city's firefighters to extinguish the fire from the explosions, which the agents of the Yucheng regime had left blazing unchecked in the city's Harbor District.

Xiangmenites rallied to support their liberators, carrying homemade versions of the RPAE's flag.

The inhabitants of the city of Xiangmen have rallied to support their liberators, coming out to watch as the forces strode in to bring liberty, justice, and equality to the city. Several individuals of good character, selected from among the populace of the city, will administer it until a formal government is organized. The RPAE and QEP have vowed to see that things will be running smoothly in the city as soon as possible.

With Xiangmen liberated, it is almost assured that the liberating forces of the Revolutionary People's Army will move to liberate other cities in Qianrong- particularly other nearby cities in Minjian- with the goal of moving closer to the day where the peoples of Qianrong shall be truly free and equal. Some elements within the Qianrongese Equalitarianist Party and Revolutionary People's Army even speculate that our leader, Long Jiao-Dan, will soon declare the refoundation of the Qianrongese Soviet Republic, originally founded in 1931 by Huang Jun-Tseng but unjustly crushed by the oppressor and tyrant Zheng Hye-Jeou. At present, though, these are merely rumors.

The Yucheng regime has done little more than whine in pain following this great victory. The dynastic ruler Qi Chien-Xuan denounced our liberation, once again erroneously referring to us as "terrorists" and proclaiming that "we will do everything in our power to bring Xiangmen back under control." If her future attempts are as successful at taking Xiangmen as her attempts to keep it were, then we truly have nothing to worry about. Our leader, Chairman of the Qianrongese Equalitarianist Party and the Revolutionary People's Army Long Jiao-Dan, has commended the services of the Revolutionary People's Army, calling them "truly brave heroes", highlighting how they have risked their lives for the sake of others. He said that he would be looking through testimonies of the fighting and that soldiers who acted with great merit or valor would be awarded for their virtue. "We have made great progress towards victory," Long said in a speech published online. "But this is not the end of our glorious struggle. We must fight on, for eternity if necessary, to guarantee the creation of a better future for the Qianrongese people and nation."

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OTHER NEWS STORIES
VORDALLIA: Supreme Soviet considers aiding the Revolutionary People's Army
NAMOR: Otekian splinter group might negotiate with the People's Republic
QIANRONG: ASQ regrouping after news of death of leader Ngo Huu Tra
GEADLAND: Economic uncertainty continues- is a global revolution coming?
LUZIYCA: Presidential candidate la Via outed as racist, sexist in debate
MICHILLIES: Police uncover undetonated bomb following monarchist attacks

[Qianrong]

Namora Shinbunbo is a subsidiary of comedy news site , and is not
affiliated with any Namorese media group or the People's Republic of Namor.
It is a comedy site and is not intended to be treated as a serious source.

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We're not joking this time- we actually interviewed Breuvi Shjoraski and these are his actual quotes.

AN ACTUAL INTERVIEW WITH THE ACTUAL PRESIDENT BREUVI SHJORASKI OF LUZIYCA
August 20th, 2015 - Bethlehem, Luziyca - Before we go any father, we should explain that this article is very, very different from most of our other content. Most of our other content is made up by us, to be funny. It's fictional. It was created to be funny. Most of the quotes aren't quotes, and most of the facts are made up. This, however, was not created or fabricated by us. This is an actual interview that we actually conducted with the actual Breuvi Shjoraski. These were all things that were actually said by him. This is legitimately how he reacted to our questions.

How did we land an interview with the leader of one of Esquarium's most powerful leaders? Well, it's a funny story. Some of our employees jokingly made a bet that a colleague would not be able to land an interview with the actual Breuvi Shjoraski. Said colleague accepted the offer, and made a phone call to the Presidential Palace in Bethlehem stating he was a reporter for Namora Shinbunbo and asking for an interview with President Shjoraski. To our shock, the call was returned and the offer was accepted. Not wanting to pass up this chance, he was sent to Bethlehem to actually interview Shjoraski- who, it quickly became apparent, was not aware that we were a satirical news source with no actual ties to Namor other than a Twitter war with the Pickle. Apparently nobody in his staff read that giant disclaimer. What ensued was pure comedy gold- we're still not sure if he'd put two and two together by the end of it- and can be found below. This is the actual transcript of the actual interview between a Namora Shinbunbo "reporter" and Breuvi Shjoraski, President of the Christian Republic of Luziyca. It has not been altered or edited in any way. We hope you enjoy.

Namora Shinbunbo: Good afternoon, President Shjoraski.

Breuvi Shjoraski: Good afternoon. I am glad to be here.

NS: It's good to have you. Alright, well, first things first, we have to ask the question that 65 million people want answered: when will you initiate your coup in Yucheng?

BS: ...no comment.

NS: Oh, come on, can't you give us something, anything? A month? A year? Or are you hoping that the Qianrongese have their own coup that you can support?

BS: Seriously? It will take as long as it takes.

NS: Alright, well, can you tell us anything more about the second coup for Ocidenia? Given that the first one appears to have ended in failure, I assume you're trying again.

BS: In a way, the revolution that ousted Brozhav's administration was a... what did you just ask me? I have no plans to coup any countries whatsoever. End of story.

NS: So what you're saying is that the CIA is going to coup Luziyca itself after you lose?

BS: We're not like Irtyusha. The intelligence agency does not run the government, contrary to what the ignorant Namsters believe. Uhm... I mean Namorese. Sorry.

NS: Speaking of the election, how does it feel to have been- until very recently- barely polling ahead of a former Purity Congress member who called a female competitor a whore?

BS: It could definitely be worse. I could be polling behind Erov Haclav. So yeah, it's alright, I suppose.

NS: Alright, so one of your rivals- Khendalor, I believe- said in that debate that all Luziyca truly needed was candles. Is this a factual statement, or no?

BS: In his deluded mind, he can believe whatever he wants. We are a free country, after all. But realistically, no. If we are to still be the most powerful economy in the world, we need to stay with times, with the latest advancements in science and technology.

NS: Alright. Now, onto Namor. Tao James, a Luziycan defector, is running for that country's presidency. How the hell is detente going to work if he manages to beat Tuyet, Kuo, and Shohai?

BS: It will be automated.

NS: Automated? Can you explain?

BS: By that point, I don't think Tao would be suicidal enough to end detente just because of his views on us. So detente would be automated, essentially.

NS: Moving onto the Namor-Luziyca border fence, the fence is on average about ten to twelve feet tall in most places, if my sources are correct. Is this too tall, or not tall enough? Should a wall be built on top of the wall, just to make sure nothing like Vulan happens again?

BS: I think what matters is that every inch of the border is demarcated, so nothing like Vulan can happen again. Besides, I think it is just right to deter an invasion from taking place.

NS: An invasion? So even in the era of detente, you're concerned that Namor might invade?

BS: You gotta be prepared, y'know?

NS: Very true, President. Now, this next one is very important... has Fu Wen let you see his secret money vault?

BS: Do I look like I know his PIN number?

NS: No, no, he sometimes shows it to visitors and dignitaries. Big thing, filled with gold. He likes to swim in it, like a pool. Did he not show you that when you visited Namo?

BS: Yes, actually. I took a few things from there.

NS: Oh, wow. That's news to us.

BS: They're only about a couple lira. They are like what, twenty ramon?

NS: Thereabouts, yes. I didn't know that Namorese money was worth so little. Anyways, moving back to that strange archipelago in the Lahudic Sea... we all know that you backed the Guo coup in Qianrong, to try and reinstate a loyal regime. And as you no doubt know, Acting Chancellor Hsieh Jiang-De was killed in that coup. Is it true that Hsieh's body was buried on the grounds of your palace in Bethlehem?

BS: Not at all. Who would suggest such a ludicrous thing?

NS: So you deny that the Presidential Palace grounds are where you buried Hsieh.

BS: That's not true.

NS: So you did bury Hsieh on the Bethlehem palace grounds?

BS: That's not true at all! I don't know where Hsieh is, for that matter.

NS: Alright, so you lost the body. Moving on then, this next question should be an easy one. Aucuria is a small, democratic nation in Artisia that is a fellow member of the Esquarian Union. What is its capital?

BS: Kan... no, Kartupelis?¹

NS: ...moving on to other issues, when does the secret Otekian terror cabal meet, and what is its membership?

BS: It meets on the Earth's surface, and its members are comprised of humans.

NS: Is Anisim on it? Klitishko? Pantejmonov? Is Roman a double agent of some sort? Was that your plan all along? To have Roman blow up Fu Wen? When did you draft this plan? When he was elected, when you were elected? Immediately after the glorious people's liberation of Kusef, perhaps?

BS: This... this is getting ridiculous.

NS: The Namorese people deserve answers, Mister President.

BS: It was drafted in the past, if it were even drafted in the first place, which it ain't.

NS: Sure, sure. Looking beyond our little continent, what are your ties to the Triumvirate's plan to subjugate the world with blood and fire?

BS: I have no ties. To be honest, I think your questions are a bit... ridiculous, and a bit insane.

NS: Now, it's no secret Esquarium is being threatened by a myriad of terror groups. The ASQ and RPAE, OGIE, the Caliphate and a dozen other Islamist groups in Kraq and Irvadistan, INTERPROS, and many more. If you were able to blow up one of them, which would it be and why? Just blow up any one of them, in its entirety.

BS: The Caliphate, so to spare the civilians of Kraq and Irvadistan from their terror, and so to help rebuild Kraq.

NS: A noble sentiment, Mister President. Next question- what are your personal thoughts on Sinhako and the Shudri?

BS: Sinhako is a decent place, and I am thankful that Shudri now have a place that they won't need to fear being discriminated in.

NS: Alright. So last year you made a very, very dangerous trip. You- as a Luziycan- entered a soccer stadium filled mostly with Qianrongese soccer fans. What was it like to have your life in such utter peril?

BS: I was hopeful that Luziyca would win. Had Luziyca won, I would celebrate our victory. Unfortunately, we lost.

NS: Yes, but what was it like to be surrounded by a crazed horde calling for your blood, and possibly your testicles?

BS: I wasn't. I was surrounded by patriots waving the white, green and blue. Across the stadium, I could see Qianrong's flag.

NS: Fascinating perspective. And one final question, President Shjoraski: when do you plan on getting Kung Alicia and Qi Chien-Xuan in a room together?

BS: The future, obviously.

NS: So no specific date is planned yet?

BS: Not at all.

NS: Alright. Thank you, Mister President. It's been a true honor.

BS: No problem.

¹ For reference, the actual capital of Aucuria is Kalnaspils. "Kartupelis" is an Aucurian word meaning "potato".

---

Top 3 News Stories from Trang Vai
LUZIYCA: A distraught Breuvi Shjoraski was spotted repeatedly muttering to himself "My approval rating shouldn't define my self-worth" while pacing anxiously through the halls of his official residence in Bethlehem after learning that his rating in polls for the upcoming presidential election in Luziyca had slid to 18%, only one point ahead of Narsete la Via and 35% behind challenger Sera Svensson. "No one can make me feel inferior without my consent," he told himself in a tone that suggested he was trying to convince himself that he was speaking the truth. "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." As of press time, President Shjoraski had decided to go clean up and take a shower so that the water of the shower could conceal his tears.
QIANRONG: Prime Minister Qi Chien-Xuan has announced that Qianrong has inadvertently created a perpetual motion machine after it was noticed that Zheng Hye-Jeou's body was rapidly rotating in its grave, located within an ornate mausoleum built in his memory. "This comes as a surprise to us- we'd always though it was a figure of speech, nothing more. But since we have been given this wonderful opportunity, we have no reason to not take advantage of it." The cause for the spinning is believed to be the collapse of the FDRQ, which Zheng founded, and its replacement by a second ISQ government, combined with the power of terrorist groups like the ASQ and RPAE that were defeated under Zheng and his successor, Qi Yong-Chang. Preliminary reports suggest Zheng's corpse could be used to power the entire Qianrongese archipelago for the rest of time; the government has not commented on the possibility of selling energy produced in this method abroad.
OTEKI: The combined leaders of the Otekian government-in-exile, Otekian National Coalition, and Otekian Qianrongese Association told reporters today that they would be ending their longtime campaigns for change in Oteki in favor of beginning new campaigns against each other. "Listen, the other people on this stage are all traitors and dogs," OGIE president Valeriy Anisim told the press. "And I can't let them win. We have to win this fight," he said, eliciting cheers from the crowd. "For all I know, one of you is Breuvi Chikmurdof in disguise," Natasha Roman of the ONC said shortly afterwards. "I just can't work with someone like that. Can you blame me?" Finally, OQA leader Myhrodniv Klitishko took the stage. "The OQA has talked a lot about remaining unified against Namor," he said. "But isn't it obvious that in the face of continued problems, we should all be focusing on the crazy old man and Radoslava Yulia Lite over here?" At press time, Namorese President-General Fu Wen had been spotted in a corner of the room stroking his chin and cackling maniacally.

[Yzerkatu]

President Asdámtae Adam in front of a celebrating crowd after taking oath as President of Yzerkatu

Muasic | Yzerkati | International English

---

A bright future lies ahead as Referendum ends in support of a republic - massive celebration in streets

August 20th, 2015 - Mochimai, Yzerkatu - The results of the Referendum on Status of the Monarchy were released today, a day after voting ended. The National Polling Committee declared that the Pro-Republican side had won with an astounding 84.5% of the vote, with only 15,5% wishing to keep the monarchy. former King Dalan II has been seen as the reason the Yzerkati Civil War started at all - a war that killed over 2 million Yzerkati men and women. The August 2014 Makawawan Agreement has been seen as a 'weak truce' that did not effectively solve the nation's problems at once.

Even after the story of a tragic shooting in eastern Mochimai 4 days ago, which left 26 innocent dead, widespread celebrations in almost every city's streets in the country occurred only minutes after the results were released. Both ethnic Yzerkatis and Massean-Yzerkatis, in a rare show of national unity, proudly removed the Royal Seal on the front of the Parliament in Mochimai and sung Yzeriza, Yzeratos, Yzerkati, the national anthem of Yzerkatu. Former Prime Minister of the Yzerkati Commonwealth, Asdámtae Adam, took oath as President of Yzerkatu. In his signing speech, he declared that the official name of the nation would now only be 'Yzerkatu'.

''Let us end our divide, let us end our misery, let us join together as brothers and sisters of great Yzerkatu - for Yzerkatu shall now be the only official name of the Yzerkati nation. Not the Commonwealth, not a Republic, but a single nation for all peoples! All statements, documents and so forth relating to the 'Yzerkati Commonwealth' will be changed. With a democratically elected President as the nation's head, we will make the nation great again!'' Asdámtae Adam swayed away nearly all people opposed to the results in the referendum in his speech, and left the Parliament in great joy on his way to the Governmental Headquarters.

However, all were not happy with the decision. Carlos Juveta, Chairman of the Royal Yzerkati Archaeological and Cultural Committee, said ''The king has been the pure representation of Yzerkati values since 1897, values of good deeds, peace and human rights. The Royal Committee does not support the results of the Referendum, and we won't change our name, even though I never supported Dalan II for his authoritarian and uncharismatic role in the nation's leadership. His rule did not bring good things to Yzerkatu. He needs to step down, even if he is now little more than a pretender, in favor of his son Prince Adoni.'' Some observers questioned the ''legitimacy'' of the Referendum's results, but closer inspections by a Western Esquarian organization have shown no rigging or other unfavorable acts took place during the Referendum, and the Makawawan Agreement between the former Yzerkati Free Front and Royal Yzerkati Government state that the Referendum has the binding power to significantly alter the Constitution and political arrangement of Yzerkatu.

Widespread celebrations in New Square, Giwhéewawhamú, known as the 'Heart of Yzerkati culture'

In other news:

---

YZERKATU: Uvfláewhem man killed by Giant Yzerkati Snake, who can grow up to 15 meters long and 1 meter wide and have a highly poisonous bite, in deep forest. It is thought he attempted to ''arouse'' and have sex with the crature.
YZERKATU: Yzerkati port traffic and economy goes up amidst South Conitian instability; ''We don't know why this is happening, but we'll gladly accept an improvement in our economy as a worldwide depression may soon be on the rise'', says Chairman of Yzerkati Central Bank.
LUZIYCA: Narsete La Via tells Liberal candidate Sera Svensson ''Shut up, whore!'' in election debate; suffers losses in preliminary polls as a result.
MICHILLIES: Christiana Police uncover undetonated bomb near National Palace station after last week's metro attack in the city.

[Lecistan]

20 Zélnik, 2015

---

Is Lecistan descending into genocide? A report on the actions of the Sons of Lecodissian Sovereignty and Purity.

---

One of few photos taken of SLSP attacks in southwest Lecistan.

SZIMÓNGÔCZ - A report released by the joint Nevan-Lecistani Forces in Southwest Lecistan has stated that the Sons of Lecodissian Sovereignty and Purity, who have claimed responsibility for last week's mass bombings that killed around 200, may have genocidal tendencies in areas that they target. The report states that the terrorist group may target majority-Lec settlements in the mostly Odissian-majority region and essentially wipe it off the map. One such example is that of Hrubucz. The village was attacked on August 18 and the majority of the population, roughly 1,000 people, were murdered and placed in a shallow mass grave to the south of the town. Nevan soldiers found the grave yesterday, and have added it to the list of roughly 50-75 mass graves found since the SLSP's rise in attacks. This news has seemingly caused panic in the government as they try to fight a two-fronted war between the SLSP and the weakening but still resisting forces of the socialist People's Republican Army of Lecistan in Brzny.

---

[Luziyca]

Shjoraski duped by satire: interviewed by Namora Shinbunbo

Shjoraski: is he incompetent?

BETHLEHEM, F.C. - It was definitely true: President Shjoraski has been duped by Namora Shinbunbo, into believing it was a genuine Namorese newspaper. However, as the questions grew more and more absurd, he started to be suspicious that he was actually being interviewed by a satirical news agency.

As soon as the article was published, some met with skepticism, notably Nikolai Serhoskav, who said that "I refuse to believe that Shjoraski was an idiot who believed the Namora Shinbunbo was a legitimate news source from Namor."

However, for those who weren't skeptical, there was a field day as people mocked Shjoraski for falling so easily to a Qianrongese satirical paper affiliated with the Trang Vai satirical newspaper. In cyberspace, people mocked Shjoraski for believing the Namora Shinbunbo was a legitimate news source from Namor.

Sera Svensson commented that "Like Katarin Appehorst from Geadland, Shjoraski joins the club of politicians who were duped by satire. I do not think he deserves a second term if he is going to be so easily duped by satire."

As for Shjoraski himself, he stated "I have now realized, especially towards the end that it was a satirical news source, not a legitimate news source. In hindsight, I should have realized that it was satirical. That said, I am amused by the interview: it is great for satirical newspapers to interview some world leaders once in a while, but this close to an election? I think it might slightly harm my chances of re-election."

The entire debate can be read here.

In other news

• Qianrong - Xiangmen falls to communist forces
• Vordallia - Protests begin as economy gets worse against the communist system
• Yzerkatu - Majority vote to become a republic
• Lecistan - Potential genocide?

[West Cedarbrook]

9ES TV Wrycova; Down to the Wire
Countodown to The Council, Board of Control Elections
11:30 AM Wrycova Standard Time
Good morining Wrycova, I'm Marie-Louis Edwards, bringing you an update on the council and board of control elections, now less than a month away.
This year's municipals have provided very few fireworks, with neither mayor Harry Kaplan or his council president or city prosecutor on the ballot. Let's
start with an in-depth view of the races for municipal council, with all 281 wards in contention. Conservatives hold 103 seats, with Mayor Kaplan's Libertarians
holding a comfortable majority at 178. But the battle for council varies greatly by neighborhood and section of the city. And with that, let's go to the map.
Most of you know the color scheme by now, Conservative blue vs. Libertarian white.


--
The North Side is the Wrycova the nation and world thinks about. It's what draws people to the capital. Charles Center, Kramden House, Kupfer Hall, the shopping,
the excitement of the financial district, the North Side has it all. And as you can see, it's showing solid blue, except for a white stretch along the Knifejaune Diagonal.
Here the Libertarians are hoping to capitalize on a general satisfaction with the Kaplan administration. It's been said around the city that rain or shine, Conservative
or Libertarian, the North Side gets what it wanThe ts. And that's what most people we've spoken with on the North Side seem to think, and are happy with that. The Conservatives,
long dominant here, hope to make inroads with voters disaffected with Kaplan's isolationist forays into military and foreign policy. So far Downtown, Rosewood, and Bexley
are holding true for the Conservatives. The Libertarians are looking for traction for their candidates in the more middle income pockets close to Bourgain Avenue,an Uptown
west of the Levy Barracks.

--
Crossing the Long Span Bridge, our next focus is the Across the River neighborhood, known to Wrycoviaks as ATR. And the map is showing solid Libertarian white for ATR, except
for the far east, near the municipality boundary. Conservative support is hard to find outside of the far east in ATR, except for the East 200th Street orthodox enclave.
The major problem for ATR Libertarians now is the refusal of the Construction Trades Association, a power in this area, to publicly endorse candidates in this years municipals.
some have traced this to a long standing feud between several union presidents and Mayor Kaplan since his delay for renegotiation of construction contracts in 2012. Some residents
have also voiced displeasure with the slow pace of the police investigation into this years rash of sexual crimes in the Faitout Road area. Public meetings about this issue have
been contentious at times, as with last week's near siege of Ward 101 Councilman's Alice Lawrence's office by angry constituents.

In ATR's Ward 119, feisty bar owner Tom Kizlow is taking up the Conservative banner against Libertarian incumbent Maly Brickner. Kizlow, a Navy veteran faced a misdemeanor charge of
assult and battery last year when he ran off a group of Wrycova Municipal students in his bar that were discussing Mayor Kaplan's opposition to President Feld's support of North Daecon.
Charges were later dropped after Kizlow, armed with a baseball bat, chased the group out of his bar and one student tripped and chipped a tooth when he fell. "When I get in council,
I won't put up with any more of Harry Kaplan's pussy peacenik talk. It's gonna be what's best for Wrycova, and by that I mean what's best for Ward 119. You can bet I'll keep Kaplan's
feet to the fire to deal with crime right here. He can shut his trap about fighting overseas. I served. We don't appreciate the Mayor's opinion straying from city matters at all!",
the feisty Kizlow told 9ES News.


--
Meandering further south across the Cedarbrook River, Potchkeyville similarly shows almost entirely white for the Libertarians, except for the Epeiste Boulevard wards. This former village, annexed almost 100 years ago, retains it's pleasant middle-income ambience and family residential atmosphere. Home also to the Potchkeyville Play House, an important theatre organization. Conservatives are few and far between in Potchkeyville, except in the Orthodox area around the Agudath Beth Israel and Beth Shalom synagogues. One area of Libertarian weakness the Conservatives hope to exploit in Potchkeyville is slow police response time, mostly in Wards 140 - 145. Parents of students at Enetier High School have been shocked by the dropoff in achievement rating the last two years, and what they claim is the Kaplan administration's deafness to their complaints is also a window of opportunity many Potchkeyville Conservatives hope to use to improve their showing here.


Coming back west of the river, the South Side is showing solid white, except for a few flecks south of the Wrycova Municipal University campus. Conservative fortunes have sunk so low on the South Side that Libertarians face no opposition in 8 wards here. Neighborhoods such as Brook Park, close by Iamus Carlus Internaiional Airport, dotted with factories and low income housing, and the festering slums of Midbar, west of Brook Park give scant hope for a Conservative gain on council on the South Side. An odd race in Ward 220 here, a seat where the incumbent Libertarian has declined to seek re-election, pits Libertarian Ludmila Luba-Peters, an accountant at the West Cedarbrook Central Railroad against Conservative nominee Franciszka Jolene, a housewife. Luba-Peters is a great-granddaughter of Alexander III, the last Luba Emperor. "I don't see Alex, as we call him in the family, as any issue or concern here. We Lubas gave up all imperial pretention back in the 1880s. I'm just an average homeowner, who wants to do what's best for Wrycova. And that means getting into council and supporting Mayor Kaplan", she said.


Wrapping up our review of the council race, we come to the Northwest Side. It's split, as you can see: the area south of Kolturz Avenue showing white, with north of Kolturz belonging to the Conservatives. Conservatives here are pushing hard to retain faculty support from Sabin University to keep their seats in the Konsky Kierat neighborhood. One of their leading issues in the Northwest are cost overruns for rebuilding of the NR405-East 190th Street interchange, which has had traffic backed up almost every weekday this winter. The Libertarians are featuring the mayor's agressive campaign of closing abandoned factories and toxic cleanup for the East 39th Street Industrial Park.

I'll return with a review of the bedsheet ballot for Board of Control, after these messages.

<advertisement>

Hello, I', Gabriel Cohen, host of "What Time Is It?" Of course you know what time it is.
But do you know what cost it is? Does Mayor Kaplan? I'll make it simpler - what is the cost for that mess at NR405 and East 190th?

And what's the cost of the Faitout Road investigation? Does the Mayor have anything funny to say about that?

I know funny. And Mayor Kaplan's cost overruns and repair delays aren't funny. Maybe we should send some of our councilmen on stage with me to try their luck. They might have a better shot on stage than in council.

Join with me in something very unfunny. Electing the next Municipal Council. Leave the funny to me. Let's get serious about Wrycova.

Vote Conservative on September 17th.




<advertisment>
Wrycova is on the Grow!

We're a city on the move!

It takes a team to keep our town on the move. And under Mayor Kaplan, progress has never been better. From reconstruction near Wrycova Municipal, to the addition of seven new police stations in ATR, we're on the way up.

So give Mayor Kaplan the team he needs to keep things growing. This September, vote Libertarian, for Municipal Council, and Board of Control.

[Namor]

English edition | Luziycan | Gaudste Språg | Namorayin

---

Mixed reactions after Otekian National Coalition supports Natasha Roman's White Paper
Kolya Vitalik: "We must face the reality of today"
Valeriy Anisim condemns ONC decision, calling it "treacherous and schismatic"

---

ONC Chairman Kolya Vitalik voiced his approval of the White Paper

FRONTIERSBURG, UPPER YORK, LUZIYCA: The split in the Otekian exile community grew wider with the Otekian National Coalition (ONC)'s decision to approve of a White Paper proposed by fellow member Natasha Roman, a proponent of "maximum devolution" and talks with the Namorese government.

Natasha Roman submitted the "White Paper" on August 16; in it, she proposed that the Otekian National Coalition officially support increased autonomy for Otekians living under Namorese occupation rather than complete independence. Under the so-called "maximum devolution," or "devomax," framework, the Namorese government manages Oteki's welfare, immigration, defense and foreign relations, while everything else pertaining to the country will be managed by the regional government.

"The intention is to please Namor since Namor shall remain the ultimate administrator of Oteki, while it shall please separatists for they increased self-rule over Oteki," said Roman.

Roman's paper sparked heated debates within and outside of the ONC, with some arguing that supporting autonomy over independence would deprive the coalition of its pro-independence supporters. Others retort the ONC cannot afford to pursue, either officially or unofficially, an "unfeasible" solution. ONC leader Kolya Vitalik said he was "aware" of the controversy the paper was causing, and vowed not to take a side until the coalition members reached a final decision. Today, he finally gave his thoughts.

"The hard truth is we've spent decades fighting for independence and it hasn't been realized. Unless we seek a moderate approach, we're not going to win this fight. This is the belief that led me to found the [Otekian National] Coalition," Vitalik said. "To be honest, I don't even know when we're going to get independence or not, so it's best that we support a solution that involves the Namorese. So long as the end result benefits all Otekians and satisfies their right to self-determination and [the right] to return to their homeland, this path should be worth taking."

However, Vitalik added that "there's still a long way to go once devomax is realized. It could be a temporary solution, or it could be permanent. Only time will tell."

Within the Otekian exile community, there are mixed reactions.

The Otekian government-in-exile (OGIE), a staunch supporter of independence from Namorese rule, condemned the ONC for its approval of the White Paper.

Valeriy Anisim, president-in-exile of Oteki, called on Otekians
to reject the ONC

"If everyone behaved the way this group did, we would've never won the Second Great War," Anisim remarked. "This is absolutely outrageous. For years, every Otekian, didn't matter if he or she was a member of the government [in exile] or not, agreed that their homeland, Oteki, is under the occupation of a faraway regime that doesn't deserve to be there and should be removed through whatever rational means possible. Not only will the Namorese reject this devomax nonsense, but Oteki still won't be free. What Mr. Vitalik did is treacherous and schismatic, and he'll have to answer to his decision in the afterlife."

He also used the ONC's decision as an opportunity to persuade Otekians not to turn to the ONC for leadership.

"This is the least appropriate time for division. I am calling on Otekians, be they living in Oteki, Luziyca, Qianrong or anywhere else, to reaffirm their agreement on several core principles and work to see them realized. This is not the time for anyone to embrace a group that seeks division and appeasement for guidance."

Anisim concluded his remarks by saying that he believes the ONC agreed to Natasha Roman's proposal due to its "reckless desperation" to see exiles return to Oteki under "unacceptable conditions."

"I'd rather be on foreign land where I can say and think what I want than return to my homeland when I can't say or think what I want."

[Namor]

World News at 7*
Bloodbath and Stupidity in the West

Good evening, this is Why Kova Sentinel Nightly News at 7. I'm Kaila Ronit, your host for tonight, and we begin tonight with world news.

In the West, massive carnage was witnessed in the Qianrongese port city of Xiamen. According to several sources, the Qianrongese militant group known as the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism
or RPAE for short, launched an offensive against the city, causing two explosions, one triggered by the other, which was a suicide bombing.

Thousands have been reportedly killed, and the Qianrongese president Qi Chien-Xan ordered an evacuation of the city. This is a photo taken from our correspondent in Yucheng, witnessed by millions of people worldwide:

Here in Wrycova, President Feld issued his deepest condolences to those who died in the attacks.

"Clearly this is an assault on humanity and the world should condemn it," he said. "It is unfortunate that so many people died at the hands of these savage terrorists. I call on the world and all international bankers to rise up against the ASQ and stop it via military intervention, because people who make war can only be stopped through war."

In other news, September is coming, and that means people everywhere are going back to school!

However, according to the Department of Education, less textbooks may be published due to the coming recession. This means that while some students will have textbooks in their hands during class, others won't, and will possibly have to share.

But Secretary of Education Orel Tam said students without textbooks do not have to worry, as a new invention will help them read textbooks without having them: the Tablet 1.0.


"The tablet allows you to view the textbooks online. What's good about this is that you can use your fingers to 'turn' the pages, and because it's on a screen you can read your textbook at night, when there's no light,"
said Tom.

We'll be back after a short commercial break.

<commercial>

Hi, this is Chayyim Dudel, candidate for the Conservatives in Steinhouse.

Why is conservatism great? Because liberals hate oranges. And under liberals, orange consumption has decreased by 2.6% the past quarter. Less Cedarbrookese are eating oranges due to the liberal's strict socialist policies
and their desire to control the economy and turn our great country into a socialist hellhole.

We mustn't let this happen. More conservatism means more oranges, and more oranges means less obese people, less obese people means more prosperity.

So please, vote Conservatives, cause if you don't, you hate oranges.



*Why Kova Sentinel is a subsidiary of The Pickle. It has no connection with any news agency
besides that
of The Pickle

[New Zepuha]

Federal News Network

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Is the South 'rising again'?

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August 20th, 2015

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Sinro City, New Zepuha - We've been following the Tilly siege for the past week, slowly developing 'meat grinder' as the police and city militia have dubbed it. For those of you just entering into this story, let us recap the situation. Armed gunmen first stormed the city hall last monday, the eight men and one woman captured the Mayor and his staff. When the city magistrate sent officers in to rescue him, two officers were gunned down and a third injured in a cross fire from the upper decks. The magistrate then locked down the streets surrounding the city hall until nearly forty armed militants drove them away and besieged the police state. By Sunday the city militia, a force of 500 privately armed citizens, managed to break the siege but the city still remains split down the center between an unknown force of self-proclaimed rebels.

At current, the fighting inside the city had ground down to a house to house battle and a war of barricades. Where the militia have been bashing their numbers against the barricades blocking the major thoroughfares, costing now 34 lives on the militia side and an untold amount of rebel dead. With extremely low morale, the magistrate merged its remaining manpower with the militia and by tomorrow evening a full regiment of National Defense Force troopers will arrive with armored support from the Imperial Guard in smashing the barricades.

Now with the Tilly siege, guerrilla attacks on Imperial Guard convoys and federal police officers have been on the rise. Yesterday an Imperial Guard convoy on the way to training in the southern provinces was fired upon by small arms, guardsmen returned fire and neither side suffered any casualties. This is following several propaganda broadcasts via radio blaming the monarchy for the downturn in the economy. It is for that reason that many Imperial Guard units have been stationed across the South to prevent another rebellion from gripping the nation.

If anyone knowing Zepuhan history would recognize the situation at hand, they would see a parallel with the short lived republican rebellion in the 1890s. When the southern provinces, notoriously agrarian and reliant on their trade suffered at the hands of imperial quotas. Thus a popular uprising threw the monarchy out of power for around four years before a the public became quickly wary of their new republican overlords. The southern provinces have never stopped harboring a hatred for their northern counterparts, thus we see the resurgence in separatism in the south as old sentiments are dug up by increasingly bad economic situations.

The King, learning from history, ordered the Imperial Guard to begin occupying cities in the South anticipating a revolt and the possible mutiny of notoriously un-loyal NDF divisions. The Office of Military Intelligence has predicted that at least 5,000 militants exist in the South and will most likely pour their resource into keeping Tilly out of federal hands, though a large force has yet to surface. The HSA has began a furious campaign to weed out dissidents in the South hoping to stop the rebellion before it becomes a full-scale civil war. We will keep you updated.

Other News

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• The world is devolving into mass hysteria and conflict as the world economy takes a downturn
• HSA announces 35 more arrests linked to rebel elements.
• Luziycans are racist as usual

[Qianrong]

LONG JIAO-DAN DECLARES REFOUNDATION OF THE QIANRONGESE SOVIET REPUBLIC
LONG VOWS "LIBERATION" OF THE ENTIRE ARCHIPELAGO, QI VOWS TO RESTORE ORDER TO NATION

Speaking in the Hall of the Qianrongese Nation, Long Jiao-Dan vowed to extend his rule over the whole archipelago.

AUGUST 20, 2015- Yucheng, Qianrong- The leader of the Qianrongese Equalitarianist Party and Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism, Long Jiao-Dan, today announced the refoundation of the Qianrongese Soviet Republic in the city of Xiangmen, which terrorists under his command had recently captured following a series of massive explosions triggered by RPAE suicide bombers. "I am honored to refound the state first created by Chairman Huang Jun-Tseng... this new people's democratic republic will liberate our homeland, the Qianrongese archipelago, with the goal of establishing a state that truly protects liberty and equality."

The history of the first Qianrongese Soviet Republic is rooted in the instability and corruption of the First Independent State of Qianrong. Huang Jun-Tseng, later leader of the first QSR, founded the first versions of the Qianrongese Equalitarianist Party and Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism in 1921. For much of the 1920s, they competed with Zheng Hye-Jeou's Nationalist People's Party and Front for National Security for support and power, with both groups promising to end corruption, stop criminal activity, and restore order to the country. They were uneasy allies during the Qianrongese Revolution; while Zheng did far better than Huang, forming the FDRQ in 1927, he allowed Huang to retain control of certain parts of the country for a time. This ended in 1931, when he moved to cement his rule and crush the RPAE, triggering the Qianrongese Civil War. In response, Huang declared a Qianrongese Soviet Republic, led by him. The civil war continued until 1947, when Zheng defeated and executed Huang. The modern QEP, RPAE, and QSR all claim descent from Huang's original organizations.

Then uneasy allies, NPP leader Zheng Hye-Jeou stands next to QEP leader Huang Jun-Tseng during the Qianrongese Revolution.

Long delivered his address in the Hall of the Qianrongese Nation, located on the former rally grounds of the Nationalist People's Party. The great green banners that had once decked the place had been torn down and replaced with red counterparts. The symbolism of delivering the address in the hall that had once been used by the QSR's greatest enemy was obvious. "Many people will try to stop us in our quest," Long told the crowd, composed mostly of RPAE terrorists. "But no one will ever defeat the spirit or the will of the Qianrongese people... we will do all in our power to end the rule of the Yucheng regime across this archipelago. The brave forces of the people's revolution will continue to spread it across our homeland, to guarantee that all Qianrongese will be able to experience the fruits of liberty and equality."

Equalitarianist ideology is far-leftist, and somewhat similar to communism or liberationism. Equalitarianism is based around the concept that society is divided into five main groups: the proletariat, peasantry, military, intelligentsia, and bourgeoisie, and that the bourgeoisie use divisions between the other four groups to dominate and exploit them through capitalism, though this system ultimately brings ruin to all parties. The only way to create a state that is truly free or equal, in equalitarian thought, is to carry out a "people's revolution", in which the old government and old cultural norms would be destroyed in favor of new ones; to safeguard this revolution, a people's democratic republic would have to be established. The end goal is to create a society where the five groups have blended together into one unified bloc, and old society is entirely obliterated.

Prime Minister Qi Chien-Xuan has vowed to end the meteoric rise of the Revolutionary People's Army for Equalitarianism by all means necessary. "These men will try to portray themselves as liberators or saviors, but they are neither," she told the National Assembly in a speech earlier today. "They are terrorists who view civilians as dispensable tools, they are allies of the genocidal ASQ, and they will bring nothing but harm and instability in the long run... I will be making sure that the National Self-Defense Forces are doing everything in their power to halt these terrorist forces."

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News from Across Esquarium
QIANRONG- NSDF forces heading for Aoshi liberation
LUZIYCA- Shjoraski mocked after satirical interview
OTEKI- Vitalik, Anisim, Klitishko argue over White Paper
YZERKATU- Monarchy abolished after referendum
MICHILLIES- Undetonated bomb found after attacks

[Aucuria]

NEWS OF THE REPUBLIC
ŽIŅIA RESPUBLIKOS
CUMHURİYET XABER
Open to All Parties, Influenced by None

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Controversy in Aucuria after Luziycan president names Aucurian capital as "Potato"
Shjoraski made remark in interview with satirical news site he didn't know was satirical; Jankauskaite lambasts Luziycan ignorance of fellow EU member


President Patricija Jankauskaite meets Luziyca's Breuvi Shjoraski at an EU conference last year.

KALNASPILS, AUCURIA/BETHLEHEM, LUZIYCA | August 20, 2015- Aucurians have expressed everything from mild humor to outright outrage after Luziycan President Breuvi Shjoraski, in an interview with QIanrongese satire piece Namora Shinbunbo, listed the Aucurian capital as "Kartupelis", which is actually an Aucurian word that translates into English as "potato".

The interview was published by Qianrongese comedy piece Namora Shinbunbo- a subsidiary of the satirical newspaper Trang Vai- earlier today, and already has caused controversy in multiple countries. Apparently, as a joke, some of the company's staff jokingly asked the Luziycan presidency for an interview with Breuvi Shjoraski. Shjoraski responded in the affirmative, apparently believing that Namora Shinbunbo was a legitimate Namorese news source. The interview was conducted, with Shjoraski remaining unaware of what was going on in spite of several ludicrous questions, and published. While some refused to believe that it was an actual interview, Shjoraski admitted that he had been duped shortly afterwards.

Karolis Staugaitis quipped to a crowd that he "[wasn't] sure Luziycans could locate Aucuria on a map."

After asking Shjoraski a series of questions in which he was accused of hiding the corpse of deceased Qianrongese politician Hsieh Jiang-De, the satirical reporter conducting the interview asked Shjoraski what he described as an "easy [question]... Aucuria is a small, democratic nation in Artisia that is a fellow member of the Esquarian Union. What is its capital?" Shjoraski stuttered before answering, "Kartupelis?" The transcript published by Namora Shinbunbo suggests that there was a period where its reporter waited for Shjoraski to correct himself or simply did not speak out of shock.

Shjoraski's answer has generated controversy because Kalnaspils is the capital of Aucuria, whereas "kartupelis" is a word that means "potato". Many have expressed skepticism about Aucuria's ties to the Esquarian Union in the wake of Shjoraski's blunder. "We joined the Esquarian Union because we felt that Luziyca and its allies could protect us from dangerous nations like Ziegenhain," opposition leader Karolis Staugaitis told a crowd today in Laizuotas. "After gaffes like President Shjoraski's, I'm not sure Luziycans could locate Aucuria on a map if we needed their help." President Jankauskaite has said that fears about Aucuria's role in the EU are unfounded. "The truth is that we need to remain a part of this organization, for the sake of our national security and international relevance." Even she, however, expressed disappointment in Shjoraski's remarks. "It is unfortunate, to say the least, that the leader of one of our most important allies thought that our capital was 'Potato'. It says quite a lot about him, and none of it is very good."

While many have expressed outrage or disappointment, some have accused these individuals of taking things too seriously. "There is a large potato presence in Aucuria," said an inhabitant of Kalnaspils. "They're one of our major crops, they're pretty important in our cuisine too. While it certainly doesn't reflect well on him, I don't see why everybody's so worked up about this." Atlian Premier Muhemet Hasanoglu also chipped in, saying, "I'm not an Aucurian, admittedly, but this entire thing is absurd. With the present state of the world, why exactly are potatoes our most pressing national concern?"

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OTHER STORIES
Qianrong- Terrorist leader Long Jiao-Dan forms communist Qianrongese regime
Atlia- Illegal nonbinding referendum sees massive victory for Atlian separatism
Namor- Devomax possibility raises hopes, controversy in Otekian exile groups
Yzerkatu- Referendum on monarchy ends in decisive victory for a republic
Aucuria- Saeimas to debate possibility of labeling genetically modified crops

[Ziegenhain]

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Mistress Viktoria declared as new Führerin of the Reich!

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Führerin Viktoria

Volkshalle - Citizens of the Fatherland gather today as we hail the coming of Madame Viktoria as our Fatherland’s new Führerin.

What a glorious day it is for the Fatherland, to gain such an inspirational and beautiful maiden to lead us towards a more magnificent future. Descended from the pure bloodline of Führer Ulrich, Führerin Viktoria carries the great vision of our late-Führer.

The Führerin will guide us to a newer and greater and more magnificent era of prosperity and peace. The peoples of Germania and Esquarium will rejoice as the Führerin's will is imposed upon the lesser-peoples.

We bless the Führerin to 1,000 years of continued benevolent rule and guidance of our great Fatherland.

Sieg Heil!

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Reichskanzler Knauth gives warning to Western social-imperialists!

Horst Burr: The Reichs Chancellor speaks.

Markus Knauth: Dear citizens of the Fatherland,

I speak to you today in the most urgent manner. The Führer has been murdered by agents of the Western imperialist war machine. The cowards had used a disguise as the nobel chef, using a poisoning agent to intoxicated the Führer’s beverage before serving it to him. These same foreign spies then tried to murder the Führer’s daughter, his own flesh-and-blood. The Westerners have shown they truly have no honor in them.

And where do these foreign spies come from? Why they come from Vjaarland of course. The infidelic blood-leeching bastards who have shown only contempt and spite for us. Their warmongering and imperialism knows no bounds. They only know their greed for destruction and to see the death of our people and our faithful comrades (Unolia, Koyro, Lersekt) abroad. They are, however, not alone in their warmongering. Their social-imperialist hegemony has enlisted the aid of other enemies of the Fatherland, those who would also see us to our deaths.

Francillie, Michillies, Namor, Luziyca, Britanno, Vyvland, Aucuria, Geadland, and Qianrong.

These States have aligned themselves with the Vjaarlandic terror state to launch their imperialist crusades against peaceful and independent national states. Under the guise of protection “freedom” and ensuring “democracy”. These terror states continue to blame our peace-loving and unified comrades in the Triumvirate as instigators of the deteriorating stability of the world. In reality it is they who are furthering this world's rapid decline with their international Jewry. They were responsible for our depression with their manipulation of currency and interest rates. Our proud National Socialist movement exposed these truths, showing the world what vermin-rats the Jewish menace is! They became afraid, afraid of us for exposing them, and did all they could to stop us. They did not, however, account for our resolve in both spirit and in body to ward off against their attacks. The National Socialist Movement has risen up above the Stars to realize its goals of a unified national state, free from the international Jewry, the corrupt capitalist industrialists, and the foreign plague that has infected our Fatherland for far too long.

And now we move to recent developments. An alleged party member was reported to have given sensitive State files to the Vjaarlandic blood-leeching hordes this past week. The Vjaar media has conjured up claims of genocide are being conducted within our Fatherland. They attempt to use this claim of “genocide” as a Casus Belli for war, and to enlist the help of their whorish liberal allies in a new crusade against our beloved Reich. I am here to say there is no genocide, but a purification to rid ourselves of foreign influences and infection from tainting the pure blood of our people. They want to infect us with mix-bloods and degenerates who have no respect for Honor and Courage.

I therefore issue this warning, on behalf of the Führerin and the Volk, that the Fatherland tolerate no longer these foreign infectious plagues and their social-imperialism. A new ideological and cultural struggle against the west’s infections shall give birth to a new era of the world. The National Socialist revolutionary movement will sweep the world and the governments of the past will pay with their lives. The monuments and ideals of old will be destroyed and a new world order, built upon the trusted belief of the revolutionary National socialist movement, will arise to bring global peace and prosperity in our world.

Volk of Germania, stand up, and let the storm break loose!

Sieg Heil!

[Qianrong]

Because modern news media is already a fiasco

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The eleven secret members of the Jewish terror cabal that controls all your thoughts and actions.
Top row: Harald Sjolgaard of Vjaarland, Claire Journay of Francilie, Annemarie Vang of Michillies, Tuomas Hyvarinen of Nevanmaa;
Middle row: Fu Wen of Namor, Breuvi Shjoraski of Luziyca, Marcus Browning of Britanno, Pamela Oegelkeper of Vyvland;
Bottom row: Qi Chien-Xuan of Qianrong, Efa Nordland of Geadland, and Patricija Jankauskaite of Aucuria.

SECRET GLOBAL CABAL CALLS EMERGENCY SESSION AFTER REVELATIONS THAT ZIEGENIAN GOVERNMENT HAS THEM PEGGED
August 20th, 2015 - Strendhavn, Vjaarland - Summoned by Kohen Gadol and President of Vjaarland Harald Sjolgaard, the secret cabal of eleven infidels who control all aspects of life outside of the Triumvirate nations of Koyro, Unolia, and Ziegenhain convened today in Strendhavn in an unplanned emergency session following revelations that the government of Ziegenhain had uncovered their nefarious plot to kill deceased autocrat Friedrich Ulrich and new autocrat Viktoria Ulrich.

"My fellow conspirators, the goyim scum have uncovered our plot to assassinate their leadership," Sjolgaard told the attendees while absentmindedly drafting a plan for the violent military conquest of the world, before beginning a thorough review of the possible errors- including having the small farming nation of Aucuria manufacture the highly complex and lethal poisons, having the plan overseen by the unstable island archipelago that can barely oversee its own territory, the fact that all Nevan agents involved were wearing the standard Nevan intelligence agent uniform of plate armor constructed from solid gold bearing the Nevan lion 328 times, or the fact that the individual disguised as the Ulrichs' chef refused to "dirty his tongue" with any language other than Luziycan. "It also greatly pains me that the backup plan that we were assured would work by Madam Nordland failed so spectacularly," Namorese President-General Fu Wen said while sitting in the corner stroking a cat. This triggered an angry response from Francilie's Claire Journay, who insisted that Nordland had done everything she could to get the army of sentient UAVs online by last Thursday.

While the unplanned meeting was primarily devoted to the incident in Ziegenhain, other topics were discussed. "Since we're all meeting here, we might as well get it out of the way," said Pamela Oegelkeper while eating matzo and drinking from a bottle of cocaine mixed with Robert Ujson's tears. "Firstly, the next planned meeting will also be Breuvi's going-away party, unless you can fix all the damage that your incompetent predecessor did," Nevan Prime Minister Tuomas Hyvarinen told QIanrongese Prime Minister Qi Chien-Xuan. "I'll get around to that, trust me," a frustrated Qi responded, "but keep in mind I also have to create the new super-virus that the Michillian and Nevan cover governments will be using on each other in the Third Great War." The group also planned five INTERPROS attacks, eight Purity Congress attacks, and fifteen Caliphate attacks, and still had time to engineer elections in fifteen countries, resurrect Breuvi Chikmurdof, and plot the creation of the oft-predicted global recession in a way where they would inevitably profit massively.

"Before we go any farther, comrades, I must express great concern about the plan to set off those dirty bombs in Ansyu," Michillian president Annemarie Vang interjected following an in-depth discussion of the benefits of using the media for hypnotization over water fluoridation. "There is simply too large of a chance that it could interfere with our plans to assassinate the noncompliants who realize what we're doing. Don't you all know how the radiation would alter the functionality of our network of death satellites?" After many minutes of negotiation, the secret cabal agreed to instead simply flood the entirety of Koyro with nerve gas. Britanno's Marcus Browning, however, confided in Aucuria's Patricija Jankauskaite that he still had grave concerns over the plan to use Queen Caroline of Scotia as an organic host for the genocidal artificial intelligence, even if it was only a temporary measure.

At press time, the group had taken a break from their duties to repair the disguises that prevent the world from realizing that it is actually run by reptilian aliens.

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Top 3 News Stories
LUZIYCA: A distraught Breuvi Shjoraski was spotted repeatedly muttering to himself "My approval rating shouldn't define my self-worth" while pacing anxiously through the halls of his official residence in Bethlehem after learning that his rating in polls for the upcoming presidential election in Luziyca had slid to 18%, only one point ahead of Narsete la Via and 35% behind challenger Sera Svensson. "No one can make me feel inferior without my consent," he told himself in a tone that suggested he was trying to convince himself that he was speaking the truth. "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." As of press time, President Shjoraski had decided to go clean up and take a shower so that the water of the shower could conceal his tears.
QIANRONG: Prime Minister Qi Chien-Xuan has announced that Qianrong has inadvertently created a perpetual motion machine after it was noticed that Zheng Hye-Jeou's body was rapidly rotating in its grave, located within an ornate mausoleum built in his memory. "This comes as a surprise to us- we'd always though it was a figure of speech, nothing more. But since we have been given this wonderful opportunity, we have no reason to not take advantage of it." The cause for the spinning is believed to be the collapse of the FDRQ, which Zheng founded, and its replacement by a second ISQ government, combined with the power of terrorist groups like the ASQ and RPAE that were defeated under Zheng and his successor, Qi Yong-Chang. Preliminary reports suggest Zheng's corpse could be used to power the entire Qianrongese archipelago for the rest of time; the government has not commented on the possibility of selling energy produced in this method abroad.
OTEKI: The combined leaders of the Otekian government-in-exile, Otekian National Coalition, and Otekian Qianrongese Association told reporters today that they would be ending their longtime campaigns for change in Oteki in favor of beginning new campaigns against each other. "Listen, the other people on this stage are all traitors and dogs," OGIE president Valeriy Anisim told the press. "And I can't let them win. We have to win this fight," he said, eliciting cheers from the crowd. "For all I know, one of you is Breuvi Chikmurdof in disguise," Natasha Roman of the ONC said shortly afterwards. "I just can't work with someone like that. Can you blame me?" Finally, OQA leader Myhrodniv Klitishko took the stage. "The OQA has talked a lot about remaining unified against Namor," he said. "But isn't it obvious that in the face of continued problems, we should all be focusing on the crazy old man and Radoslava Yulia Lite over here?" At press time, Namorese President-General Fu Wen had been spotted in a corner of the room stroking his chin and cackling maniacally.

[Luziyca]

Satiregate and other surprises

The polls until August 17th

BETHLEHEM, F.C. - Today, pollsters have released a line graph revealing the results from when the first official polls related to the coming general election on June 27th, taking place after the end of the first Presidential debate held within Bethlehem, and all the subsequent other opinion polls regarding the candidates up to the one conducted on August 17th, 2015, after the end of the second Presidential debate held in Yerevan, Lombardia. How do the candidates stand?

Despite the absence of data from recent opinion polls, it is incredibly clear that the biggest losers may very well be the National Luziycan Party. While the expansion of the seats in the House as a result of the admission of Irinushka and Asenath in 2014 from 500 seats to 625 seats, it is incredibly unlikely that the NLP will hold on to a lot of their seats, especially due to the bigoted and racist views of its new leader, Narsete La Via.

But how can we really know that this is the case? If we are to hold an election today, if we base the results on the opinion polls, the composition of the house would most likely wind up like this:

• Liberals - 344 seats, government - 197
  
• Whigs - 144 seats, official opposition - 121
  
• Socreds - 56 seats - 56
  
• NLP - 44 seats - 13
  
• CLP - 37 seats - 6

You may think that the Whigs may lose a lot more than the NLP, and it does not help Shjoraski seems to be making a lot of gaffes lately, what with Satiregate when Shjoraski believed that Namora Shinbunbo was a legitimate Namorese news source, but it is currently with the most recent data we have.

The NLP is currently predicted to lose thirteen seats, but as the full implications of Narsete La Via being a former Purity Congress member and a sexist continues, La Via may very well risk wiping the entire NLP out. Many supporters of the NLP would be drawn either to the Whigs, or to the Socreds, which are predicted to split the right-wing vote as its leader, Nikolovich appeals to young rightists who lean more closely to the late Jarrod Thuman of Unolia than to the "old right" personified by Shjoraski and La Via respectively.

As for the Liberals, they seem poised for victory. A major factor is many young people who do not align themselves with the Socreds tend to be aligned closely to the leftist Liberals. Combined with a significant anti-incumbency factor against the Whig Party which has run Luziyca since 1988 (in the east, 1991 if you were west of the former DMZ), and calls for a greater safety net, Sera Svensson has charmed many into supporting her policies and political party, with a charisma that would make even a televangelist jealous of her abilities. Many centrists seem likely to vote for Svensson on the tenth of November and bring in a new era: ideally one of a Luziyca that will exercise its power with caution.

May you make the best choice.

In other news

• Ziegenhain - Viktoria to become new leader after Ulrich's death
• Aucuria - Controversy after Shjoraski says "Kartupelis" instead of Kalnaspils
• Qianrong - RPAE declares communist state, discussions on whether to aid the Qianrongese government against the red menace
• New Zepuha - Civil unrest in southern regions of New Zepuha

[Odissia]

-retconned-

[Michillies]

-retconned-

[Geadland]

The Liberal reports
LUZIYCA: THE 28-YEAR ITCH
Why are pollsters predicting a landslide defeat for President Breuvi Shjoraski?

22 August 2015 Last updated 11:21 Geadish Standard Time
BETHLEHEM – It is often said that on Tuesday 10 November, Luziycan voters will elect their president. This is not strictly true. Voters will only be able to elect their Congress, of which the lower house will actually elect their president. But the question of who will hold the presidency is always central to Luziyca’s national elections. Only two candidates stand any real chance of winning. The campaign will ask voters two fundamental questions: does Breuvi Shjoraski deserve a second term? And if not, can his Liberal challenge Sera Svensson do a better job?

It appears that a majority Luziycan voters now think she can. In the last two months, she has shifted from being level with Mr Shjoraski, to leading consistently by double-digit margins. Under the first-past-the-post voting system, which generally favours the winning party, her party would win 55% of the seats in the lower chamber, while the governing Whig Party would plummet from 53% to 23%. Over a third of the seats in the lower chamber would change hands; it would be the most dramatic electoral shift in Christian Republic of Luziyca in at least a generation.

This may surprise many observers. The Luziycans have long been hostile to left-wing politics. A rise in support for the Liberals was not noted during the mid-term elections in November 2013, when they instead lost eight seats. And the Luziycan economy is actually in a much better position than it was when Mr Shjoraski won his first term in November 2011. Growth has been steady, if unexciting. The unemployment rate, at 5.5%, is marginally lower than in neighbouring Geadland. Yet nonetheless the Luziycans are growing tired of the Whig Party, which has governed Luziyca continuously since reunification, and since 1988 in the East.

A strong challenger
Voters have been somewhat interested in change ever since the 2008 recession. Mr Shjoraski won handily in 2011 (in Luziycan parlance, the ‘2012 election’) but by the Whig’s lowest margin of victory since reunification. Economic statistics have not consolled voters who are uneasy about their country’s future and their own finances. The economy is forecast to contract, and many worry that the growth in the last years has only benefited the rich. Polls show that while only a minority of Luziycans identify as being ‘left-wing’, a clear majority are in favour of seeing more wealth redistribution and a stronger social security system. Of the five parties on the radar, only the Liberals decisively hold this view. Conservative voters will be split among the other four.

The climate is ripe for a Liberal victory. And importantly, they have finally found a strong challenger. Sera Svensson is a charismatic leader, and is running a disciplined campaign. Her winning performances in the two recent presidential debates appears to have allayed many swing voters’ concerns that she might be inexperienced or radical. She appeared confident and assured throughout, even when defending her party’s less popular policies such as penal reform. Mr Shjoraski wasted his energy attacking Mrs Svensson for being a “communist”, but his performance was not the worst.

A few weeks ago, it looked possible that the National Luziycan Party might overtake the Whigs, with votes mainly coming at their expense. Their candidate Narsete La Via was considered by his party to be a conservative firebrand who could energise their supporters, and by almost everyone else to be a racist with outdated views on women. His car-crash performance in the debate suggested the latter. Instead, his party now appears to be headed for a rout. The decline of the NLP has driven Mr Shjoraski’s poll ratings up in the last week, but not enough. He meanwhile has to contend with the libertarian Social Credit Party, who have lately been undergoing a revival and threaten to take votes away from the Whigs.

A mountain to climb
Whether a victory for Mrs Svensson is the most preferable outcome remains to be seen. While her views on social and foreign policy have been widely discussed in the debates, it will mainly be economic issues that are the most important to voters, and to media outlets wishing to make an endorsement. Mrs Svensson could lose ground if she panders too far to the left on issues like free trade and taxation. So far, her campaign has not suggested that she will. As for the Whigs, they face a disadvantage on this front. After 28 years in power, they have little left to offer voters. Though they have their advantages; their economic management has overall been decent and favourable to businesses.

Mr Shjoraski has had a rough start to the campaign season and faces a mountain to climb in order to win a second term. Besides being upstaged in both presidential debates, he made an unfortunate decision to have an interview with a Namorese newspaper that turned out to be a satirical. He may yet recover from these miscues and regain support in the approach to election day; incumbents often do, and he may attract tactical voters from the right. And sometimes, pollsters can get it wrong. When they do, they are more likely to underestimate support for both right-wingers and incumbents; Mr Shjoraski is both.

So the way the campaign is going, we would expect Mrs Svensson to be announced as the winner with a more modest margin of victory, when the results come through on the morning of Wednesday 11 November.