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by **Klomania 2** » Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:23 pm

So did Gump and HW Bush.

by **Adab** » Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:26 pm

...Until finally Batman won the fight, and Chuck Norris challenged Batman to a boxing fight in the White House sewers to decide who's the champion of the Universe, with Bush Sr. and Forrest Gump watching. Batman accepted the offer. Suddenly, as the fight was about to begin, Bono appeared in the sewers out of nowhere and offered to be the referee, as long as the other four people present there agreed to have the entire U2 catalog uploaded to their iTunes accounts...

by **Egalitarian Calcova** » Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:42 pm

...And then iTunes kept asking to update forever, and so...

by **Adab** » Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:45 pm

...Bono decided to ignore the problem for now and went forward with the fight which, by the way, was stopped after 35 closely-fought rounds for an "intermission" featuring Bono singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb", with Bush Sr graciously providing backing vocals, leaving Gump as the only spectator...

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:23 am

And the fight continued after what seemed to be an eternity, the referee having set no round limit. As round 239 came to an end, with one spectator (Bush Sr.) asleep and the other (Gump) looking bored, neither fighter had established a clear superiority over the other...

by **The Overcast Empire** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:25 am

Adab wrote:And the fight continued after what seemed to be an eternity, the referee having set no round limit. As round 239 came to an end, with one spectator (Bush Sr.) asleep and the other (Gump) looking bored, neither fighter had established a clear superiority over the other...

in which created a hole in time and space in which hitler and stalin came back

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:27 am

Hitler and Stalin were shocked to find themselves in the middle of a boxing ring. To make themselves more comfortable, and make the event more entertaining, Bono convinced them to provide backing vocals for a rendition of "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction.

by **The Overcast Empire** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:33 am

Adab wrote:Hitler and Stalin were shocked to find themselves in the middle of a boxing ring. To make themselves more comfortable, and make the event more entertaining, Bono convinced them to provide backing vocals for a rendition of "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction.

in which hitler argued that justin beiber was the best musician ever

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 1:41 am

Stalin disapproved and told Hitler that One Direction were "miles better" than Justin Bieber.

by **Confederation of Common Sense** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 2:04 am

...Pol Pot and Mao Zedong, on the other hand, thought they didn't need vocals, and that One Direction was the shittiest music they've ever listened to...

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 2:16 am

As the four dictators who appeared out of nowhere continued arguing on the boxing ring, the police arrived to arrest anyone involved in the unsanctioned fight. As the dictators, fighters, and referee hurriedly left the site, Bush Sr noticed something in Forrest Gump's pocket and took it. It turned out to be the time-space stone. Bush Sr accidentally activated it, and a few seconds later found himself in Monica Lewinsky's house.

"I know you," said Bush Sr. "Didn't you and Clinton- wait, how did I even end up here?"

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:50 am

by **The Krogan** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:54 am

And they bumped again, and again, and again.

by **New Lucantis** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:56 am

The Krogan wrote:And they bumped again, and again, and again.

They bumped so much later that the old bumper got tired of bumping and they had to hire a new one.

(OOC: Yes, a Spongebob reference.)

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:00 am

And the new bumper decided that he was just so bored with bumping, he stole the time-space stone from Bush Sr, activated it, and found himself in New York, where Eminem was...

by **Dai Coon Ree** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:04 am

Major.

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:06 am

Eminem saw the time-space stone. Curious, he took it from the bumper and ended up in Jerusalem, circa 33 AD, where he met...

by **New Anthotis Bloodline of Iliac Alikr** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:57 am

..the charging, blood-craving and undead version of Salah al Din, made into a lich while swinging his scimitar and roaring, towards him..

by **Klomania 2** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:25 pm

And stole the stone. He was taken to the crucifixion of....

by **Confederation of Common Sense** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:23 pm

...Jesus Christ, who had somehow known that...

by **The Foxes Swamp** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:41 pm

the black knight satellite would avenge him by

by **Confederation of Common Sense** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:55 pm

...casting a robo-zombie apocalypse upon Johannesburg, South Africa, thus...

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:57 pm

...resulting in the extinction of heathens there before going off to Jerusalem to rescue Jesus. But there, the satellite mistook a guy named Brian for Jesus and took him instead, leaving Jesus to his fate.

by **Gerrymander** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 7:02 pm

... until King Arthur and his squire came clopping along with coconuts to ask the Romans what the air speed velocity of a swallow is ...

by **Adab** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 7:04 pm

...and the Romans, amused by the strange foreigners, asked them if they knew the secret of self-defense against fruit.

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