ISSUE: Shut Up Already, Say Sports Fans
DESCRIPTION: "Woowoo horns", loud items that sound like kazoos and trombones- at once -hooked to amplifiers, have begun to gain popularity in many sports venues, drowining out everything else in the area. Some fans and viewers have expressed their concerns to the highest levels of government to ban these instruments, so that they can enjoy the games in peace.
VALIDITY: For any nation, period.
OPTIONS:
[option]"AAAHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! FOR THE LOVE OF MAX BARRY MAKE IT STOP!" screeches big-time automobile racing fan, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while covering his ears, despite being in the quiet of your office. "The woowoo horns... they're drowning out everything I know and love! I mean, does this not concern you that these wretched intruments from the devil himself drown out the mighty engines of racecars?! Woowoo horns- nay, all loud items -must be banned from being taken into stadiums and arenas! I attend races to hear the thrilling roar of engines, the cheer of crowds... not some freak device!"
[effect]a stadium ban on "loud devices" has forced sports fans to leave their cell phones at home
[stats]Happiness up, civil rights down, health of citizens (but not healthcare itself) slightly up (due to less hearing loss), god-forsakeness down, economy slightly down (forbidding the sale of woowoo horns), taxes uneffected, rebellious youth down
[option]"How can you even consider such stupidity?" responds big-time soccer fan @@RANDOMNAME@@, while blasting a deafening woowoo horn in your ear. "Woowoo horns are but a means of fans of any sport to express their excitement! When a baseball player hits a home run, a soccer player scores that dream goal, a chess player checkmates a tough opponent... what better way to rejoice than tooting on your mighty woowoo horn? Banning woowoo horns is like banning excitement! What sort of heartless leader are you to want to crush the excitement of sports fans like me?" he then blows the horn in your ear again.
[effect]the deafening sound of woowoo horns drowns out all other sounds of most sporting events
[stats]Happiness down, economy up, health of citizens (but not healthcare itself) way down, civil rights up, economic freedoms slightly up, the Retail industry gets a significant boost, taxes uneffected, rebellious youth way up
[option]"You know, I've been thinking..." states a high sailor in @@NAME@@'s Coast Gaurd, pointing at several graphs and charts. "What if we used these so-called 'social menaces' as WEAPONS? See, if these items are as deafening as these sports nerds claim, we should develop LOUDER woowoo horns and blast them at our enemies, making them easy targets for our gunfire and destroying their hearing. I'm talking woowoo sound cannons and stuff like that! All you need is to allow us, @@NAME@@'s Finest, to Nationalize the woowoo horn industry, so we can totally control the development of these items without pesky taxpayer-draining contracts or patent infringement in our way. Fans can still blow their horns when we own their production... they'll just be camo-colored and a bit more pricy to cover the costs of the Woowoo horn weapon. The taxpayer's won't feel a thing with this scheme! Who else would be mad other than those Woowoo fat-cats?"
[effect]enemies are deafened in combat by the hearing-destroying sound of the @@NAME@@ military's new Woowoo Horn Sound Cannon of Doom
[stats]economic freedoms down, economy slightly down, military becomes more efficient in battle and fares better, Defense budget up without effecting taxes, happiness up, government becomes less pro-business, an industry gets nationalized, taxes uneffected, violence up, crime down
What do you think? I had a lot of fun writing this.
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