[Passed]: Commend Improving Wordiness

[McMasterdonia]

Here is a draft I have been working on for a while. Constructive criticism is welcome:

The World Assembly,

Acknowledges that Improving Wordiness is one of the most admired and universally respected nations within 10000 Islands. Since their creation in 2009, the nation has served as Minister of Labour and continues to actively serve in the Ten Thousand Island Treaty Organisation (TITO) as the 39th TITO Knight and as TITO Field Commander since November 2011.

Further Acknowledges that Improving Wordiness was bestowed the highest award & honour granted from the Government of 10000 Islands, the Heart of the Islands Award. This prestigious award was granted to Improving Wordiness due to the nation representing the embodiment of the spirit of 10000 Islands and their contribution to the continued security, prosperity and the cultural development of the region for an extended period of time.

Asserts that the military expertise, leadership capabilities and kind nature of Improving Wordiness have long been recognised in the Founderless Regions Alliance defender awards. These awards have a long tradition of awarding defender excellence & are broadly recognised as the top awards in the defender sphere. To date, the nation has been awarded the defender of the year award, the Sir Lans award on two occasions and the best newcomer of the year award.

Observes that Improving Wordiness has defended more than 440 regions to date. This seasoned veteran played a key role in the June 2010 defence of South America, the largest defence in modern times, mobilising more than 70 TITO members and an additional 30 unaffiliated nations facilitating the liberation of the region from raider forces.

Applauds Improving Wordiness’ dedication to the protection of regional sovereignty and the right of regional self determination. Under the command of this nation, TITO has successfully refounded numerous regions for their residents, most notably: The Skeleton Army, Deutschland, USA and Utopia. These regions were subsequently restored to native control.

Appreciates Improving Wordiness' positive contribution to Osiris in its early days. Specifically, through the nation Sichuan Pepper, its efforts in providing the stabilizing conditions under which Osiris residents could elect their Delegate to form Osiris's first government without hindrance or threat from external parties. Applauding Improving Wordiness' impartiality and fortitude in the face of adversity and criticism, taking on what was a difficult and unpopular task to protect democracy.

Believes that the efforts and contributions of Improving Wordiness to 10000 Islands and numerous regions across NationStates are deserving of recognition and praise;

Hereby Commends Improving Wordiness.

The World Assembly,

Acknowledges that Improving Wordiness is one of the most admired and universally respected nations within 10000 Islands. Improving Wordiness has served as Minister of Labour and continues to actively serve in the Ten Thousand Island Treaty Organisation (TITO) since 2009 as the 39th TITO Knight and as TITO Field Commander since November 2011. Improving Wordiness was awarded the Heart of the Islands award in recognition of their constant efforts in ensuring the continued cultural development, security, and prosperity of 10000 Islands.

Asserts that the military expertise, leadership capabilities and kind nature of Improving Wordiness have long been recognised in the Founderless Regions Alliance defender awards. To date, Improving Wordiness has been awarded the defender of the year award and the Sir Lans award on two occasions as well as the best newcomer of the year award.

Observes that Improving Wordiness has defended more than 440 regions to date. Improving Wordiness was a leading nation in the June 2010 liberation of South America, the largest liberation in modern times. Improving Wordiness mobilised more than 70 TITO members and an additional 30 unaffiliated nations to liberate the region from raider forces.

Applauds Improving Wordiness’ dedication to the protection of regional sovereignty and the right of regional self determination. Under the command of Improving Wordiness, TITO has successfully refounded numerous regions for their residents, most notably: The Skeleton Army, Deutschland, USA and Utopia. These regions were subsequently restored to native control.

Appreciates the efforts of Improving Wordiness in securing the first delegacy of Osiris as Sichuan Pepper, to prevent the region from being snatched in a power grab by various factions from across the ideological spectrum. Improving Wordiness held the region without preference for any faction and ensured that the first Delegate of Osiris was determined in democratic elections by the residents and not by force.

Believes that the efforts and contributions of Improving Wordiness to 10000 Islands and numerous regions across NationStates are deserving of recognition and praise;

Hereby Commends Improving Wordiness.

[Eist]

FOR

Despite our differences and issues, I can't think of a more worthy recipient of a commendation right now. Wordy is always on the clock defending for the good of the game, and gets so much shit slung at her but always just shrugs it off in the most professional manner of any player I can think of. This needs to happen.

[Lexicor]

For. Mostly because abstaining is too lazy. Solid draft. *scratches head*

[District XIV]

For. Although, why is it formatted as so you repeat the target nation's name repeatedly? (Improving Wordiness {did something}. Improving Wordiness also {did something else}, etc) Can you format it like "Improving Wordiness did something cool. They also did something else cool."?

[Benevolent Thomas]

FOR

Despite our differences and issues, I can't think of a more worthy recipient of a commendation right now. Wordy is always on the clock defending for the good of the game, and gets so much shit slung at her but always just shrugs it off in the most professional manner of any player I can think of. This needs to happen.

I fully echo this statement.

[Cormac A Stark]

I like Wordy, but can someone explain to me why defending, defending, and more defending -- which is exactly what this draft commends her for -- is something that warrants a Security Council commendation? If Wordy has accomplishments beyond defending, they should be elaborated upon. If she doesn't, she shouldn't be commended. Loads of people have defended for a long time.

Additionally, there wasn't universal approval of TITO's conduct in Osiris among the Osiran community back then and there still isn't. I'm not at all sure that the supposedly commendable, authoritarian "we'll lead, you follow" course TITO set for Osiris, which set the region on the road to more than two years of instability, was really the best possible course. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to vote for this with that clause included.

[Land filled with People]

Wordy has committed countless hours not only to protecting founderless regions, but also to regional development in XKI and abroad. Wordy's skills as a defender are surpassed only by her dedication, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. This has been a long time coming.


FOR.

[Benevolent Thomas]

Additionally, there wasn't universal approval of TITO's conduct in Osiris among the Osiran community back then and there still isn't. I'm not at all sure that the supposedly commendable, authoritarian "we'll lead, you follow" course TITO set for Osiris, which set the region on the road to more than two years of instability, was really the best possible course. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to vote for this with that clause included.

What community Cormac? Lets not act like a community had developed within the first hours of the region's creation. While we're at it, lets not blame TITO for what happened in Osiris long after they had left the region post-election. Osiris had self-determination and as such are solely responsible for what happened from late 2011 on. You're better than to make such weak and idiotic arguments like these.

[Cormac A Stark]

What community Cormac? Lets not act like a community had developed within the first hours of the region's creation.

A community developed very shortly after the region was created, and some members of that community -- Todd McCloud, Zaolat, among others -- are still members of the Osiran community today. By no means did all members of that community agree with TITO's administration of the region.

Now, I'll acknowledge that there was no native community when TITO took the Delegacy. That's actually the other problem with this clause:

to prevent the region from being snatched in a power grab - except that it was "snatched" by TITO, technically, but wasn't really "snatched" by anyone as that has a negative implication of being stolen from someone. The region was brand new.

held the region without preference for any faction - And this is beneficial why? My understanding is that TITO flooded the region because they thought they saw known raiders taking over. The region was brand new. The idea that TITO "held the region without preference" is absurd; they held the region to prevent raiders from taking over, not due to any moral imperative but to protect TITO's own interests.

ensured that the first Delegate of Osiris was determined in democratic elections by the residents and not by force - Actually, the first Delegate of Osiris, Wordy -- not Zaolat, who was the first elected Delegate -- was determined by force. It's still force when TITO uses it. And we have no way of knowing that the people TITO flooded into Osiris to prevent from seizing the region wouldn't have also established democracy; the Osiris Fraternal Order, established by imperialists and raiders, is far more democratic than Osiris' previous government.

Bottom line: This clause is making TITO's actions in Osiris out to be morally heroic and commendable. As you said, there was no native population in Osiris. There was no moral imperative to defend the region. Like everyone else who went for the region, TITO seized it out of self-interest, and this draft shouldn't portray them as altruistic saints for that.

[Benevolent Thomas]

A much better argument

Now I shall back off and allow those that were around in 2011 take over.

[Jofic]

Wordy The hippocat Goddess deserves recognition for all her hard work. Full Support

[Eist]

Oh, god. Not Osiris again! lmao Cormac, I can't believe you are still peddling that old joke of yours around!

I find it bemusing that you can tell me with a straight face that Kain and his gang moved into the brand new region with the most noble of intentions. TITO did what it thought best at the moment (and a move I still think was best) by piling in the numbers to essentially take what wasn't actually Kain's to begin with--the region hadn't even seen a single update. TITO gains control with the help of many others and calls for a democratic election. Kain (and many others; you?) blows his fucking gasket over this with some of the most vile language I've ever seen in this game, and over days and days and days on the RMB and these forums. TITO asks AMOM for help to run the elections fairly and freely, which he does. Some guy that doesn't even like TITO wins and becomes delegate. Case closed? I'd hope it was for every sane person here, but I'm going to take a stab and say that you have more to say on this...

[Cormac A Stark]

I actually don't, at the moment at least, as I'll have to do more research on the NS and old Osiris forum before I can further respond intelligently. I wasn't even playing NationStates in 2011.

[Goddess Relief Office]

I'll second what Eist said. It was a free-for-all in Osiris when it started, various factions moved in and there was no guarantee whoever took the delegateship would allow free and fair elections later on. In fact, the likelihood was the opposite. Wordy saw what was happening and deployed TITO to put a stop to the chaos. She pushed the major players interested in the delegateship to claim it through an election rather than brute force. AMOM was invited to hold the vote and TITO was instructed not to take sides. When the election was over, she left as promised, allowing the winning delegate to form his own government and write the region's first Constitution.

It was akin to an UN mission to keep the peace. If Wordy had not intervened, I'll argue that the chaos would have lasted longer (just ask The Bruce how long it took the first feeders to stabilize politically, I bet you it's more than 2 weeks). Additionally, Osiris would have been much more divided later on. Had Wordy and AMOM not been there to provide the environment to hold that election, the winner would be determined by force and the losing factions wouldn't have accepted it.

Personally, I think this episode is illustrative of why Wordy should be commended. A lesser defender wouldn't have bothered or wouldn't have had the stomach to intervene. Wordy took a lot of crap for those one and half weeks yet during the entire time she always kept her cool and impartiality. Even now, she's taking heat from some quarters which I think is very unfair. It was a difficult job that had to be done, she saw it and she did it.

In response to Cormac's criticisms, I will propose the following changes:

Appreciates Improving Wordiness' positive contribution to Osiris in its early days. Specifically, through the nation Sichuan Pepper, its efforts in providing the stabilizing conditions under which Osiris residents could elect their Delegate to form Osiris's first government without hindrance or threat from external parties. Applauding Improving Wordiness' impartiality and fortitude in the face of adversity and criticism, taking on what was a difficult and unpopular task to protect democracy.

I'll return with comments to the other paragraphs later on.

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

For.

Hello from Deutschland. We have very good and happy memories from everyone who participated in our refound, and especially Improving Wordiness who organised the TITO support we requested. There are only very few persons about whom without any reservations whatsoever I can say: it is possible to voluntarily trust this person with control of an endangered region. She’s honest about the risks, uses all her skills to pull it off, and then she simply hands it back again.

She values the freedom of others to play as we like, freely choosing our player-to-player interactions. Other players, and other player communities are never a means to an end for her to make herself feel important. Wordy is generous, resourceful, clear-sighted, kind hearted, and fun to talk to. See also a thank you note I wrote to TITO as a group.

A small personal thing most people probably don't know.

Our elected founder Yermaney and I preserved the temporary region from the refound of our laid-back German speaking community, and the nation name chosen for the temp founder of Deutsch is a small gesture dedicated to Improving Wordiness. Together, Wortschatz means vocabulary. Separately, Wort means word. Schatz is an endearment in our language and means treasure.

[Science Inquiry]

I'll second what Eist said. It was a free-for-all in Osiris when it started, various factions moved in and there was no guarantee whoever took the delegateship would allow free and fair elections later on. In fact, the likelihood was the opposite. Wordy saw what was happening and deployed TITO to put a stop to the chaos. She pushed the major players interested in the delegateship to claim it through an election rather than brute force. AMOM was invited to hold the vote and TITO was instructed not to take sides. When the election was over, she left as promised, allowing the winning delegate to form his own government and write the region's first Constitution.

It was akin to an UN mission to keep the peace. If Wordy had not intervened, I'll argue that the chaos would have lasted longer (just ask The Bruce how long it took the first feeders to stabilize politically, I bet you it's more than 2 weeks). Additionally, Osiris would have been much more divided later on. Had Wordy and AMOM not been there to provide the environment to hold that election, the winner would be determined by force and the losing factions wouldn't have accepted it.

Personally, I think this episode is illustrative of why Wordy should be commended. A lesser defender wouldn't have bothered or wouldn't have had the stomach to intervene. Wordy took a lot of crap for those one and half weeks yet during the entire time she always kept her cool and impartiality. Even now, she's taking heat from some quarters which I think is very unfair. It was a difficult job that had to be done, she saw it and she did it.

In response to Cormac's criticisms, I will propose the following changes:

Appreciates Improving Wordiness' positive contribution to Osiris in its early days. Specifically, through the nation Sichuan Pepper, its efforts in providing the stabilizing conditions under which Osiris residents could elect their Delegate to form Osiris's first government without hindrance or threat from external parties. Applauding Improving Wordiness' impartiality and fortitude in the face of adversity and criticism, taking on what was a difficult and unpopular task to protect democracy.

I'll return with comments to the other paragraphs later on.

Just because something is akin to a UN mission doesn't meant that it isn't force or that the people you are "protecting" are going to like it. Yes, it would probably better for them, if they fighting was stopped and order was restored. However, in the process you have stripped self-determination from them. People will resent that, even if you take away the bad outcomes and left the good, they didn't have a say or maybe marginal at best.

[Eist]

Just because something is akin to a UN mission doesn't meant that it isn't force or that the people you are "protecting" are going to like it. Yes, it would probably better for them, if they fighting was stopped and order was restored. However, in the process you have stripped self-determination from them. People will resent that, even if you take away the bad outcomes and left the good, they didn't have a say or maybe marginal at best.

Just to be clear, the region was literally 2 hours old when TITO moved in. There were no people to protect. We just felt that free and fair elections would be better in the long run than what we felt Kain (who has one of the more dubious track records in regions that are not his in this game) and his gang might have had in mind.

[Shizensky]

I have always respected Wordy, and in her prime she has contributed much to make NS a better place for many, many nations. I might take issue with her getting all the credit for the USA refound, but hey, as an underling at the time I guess I can't complain too much when my superior gets the recognition.

As far as Osiris goes, Wordy's involvement secured the opportunity for interested parties to form a first government democratically, and she gave up her authority quickly once the process was completed. If the corruption of TITO was anywhere near as bad as people are trying to say, the landscape of Osiris would be very different today.

[Jakker]

When raiding, it has become to be a standard during my time to expect Wordy to be around at update. I think creating that expectation as well as the accomplishments she has had makes this deserving in my eyes. Yet for some reason, I feel like something more needs to be added to the draft. It leaves me feeling slightly unfulfilled. Once I figure out why, I'll get back to you, but I'd be ok with this either way.

[North East Somerset]

Improving Wordiness was a leading nation in the June 2010 liberation of South America, the largest liberation in modern times. Improving Wordiness mobilised more than 70 TITO members and an additional 30 unaffiliated nations to liberate the region from raider forces.

Oh yes I remember that battle. All started out as a small TNI update operation which TITO spotted, and we lost 6-5. Rather than giving up though, we piled it with raider and imperialist forces from across the game, in the hope that better communication would be able to beat the 10KI juggernaut at such short notice. And we almost did too, but narrowly lost at the next update 50-49. Still didn't give up, but by the update after that it was 104-74 and all over.

I'd note that it wasn't 70 TITO members and 30 unaffiliated. I'm willing to believe that there were 70 TITO members, but the other 30 included Texas, Yggdrasil & of course FRA, amongst others.

Also, I really think we should be giving a commendation to whoever organised all these opportunities for defenders to distinguish themselves in liberations. Now they were the true heroes... working tirelessly against all the odds to make NS a more dynamic place, and to keep defenders employed.

[Consular]

I'll reluctantly admit that Wordy deserves this, being one of the very few defenders who remain a common sight on the battlefield these days.

[McMasterdonia]

For. Although, why is it formatted as so you repeat the target nation's name repeatedly? (Improving Wordiness {did something}. Improving Wordiness also {did something else}, etc) Can you format it like "Improving Wordiness did something cool. They also did something else cool."?

Well spotted.. I actually completely missed that I had written it in that way. I'll see if I can frame it in another way so that it isn't repeating their name too often

Thanks for the responses/expressions of support everyone. Especially from the more unlikely sources

[District XIV]

I'll see if I can frame it in another way so that it isn't repeating their name too often

No problem ( ). The best way to do that is use "they", "them", or something along those lines.

[Baden-Wuerttemberg]

Not sure whether ‘they’ and ‘them’ would work. It’s tricky. Unlike discussion of the resolution which can be OOC, the text needs to read IC as if referring to a nation. That’s why CnCs are usually full of name repeats. This text isn’t exceptional in this respect.

[District XIV]

Not sure whether ‘they’ and ‘them’ would work. It’s tricky. Unlike discussion of the resolution which can be OOC, the text needs to read IC as if referring to a nation. That’s why CnCs are usually full of name repeats. This text isn’t exceptional in this respect.

Um, the rules even state 'they' as an example instead of 'he' or 'she'.