The People's Republic of Lazarus

[Charax]

Tbh, I think the cold war has simmered down.

Which from a spectator point of view, is immensely disappointing. What are you people doing with your lives? Fight already, dammit!

[Solorni]

Tbh, I think the cold war has simmered down.

Which from a spectator point of view, is immensely disappointing. What are you people doing with your lives? Fight already, dammit!

It'd be tough to fight tbh

[Cerian Quilor]

Most independent militaries are more active than defender ones like Lazarus

>_>

No actually, that's just factually untrue. But I know, facts are inconvenient.

If you look at totality of activity, Lazarus' new military has done less than many given extant Independent Militaries. But given how new Lazarus' military is, that means nothing. Rach wasn't being fair, and you're being a liar.

And people wonder why I want to stay away from the GCRs.

[Solorni]

>_>

No actually, that's just factually untrue. But I know, facts are inconvenient.

If you look at totality of activity, Lazarus' new military has done less than many given extant Independent Militaries. But given how new Lazarus' military is, that means nothing. Rach wasn't being fair, and you're being a liar.

And people wonder why I want to stay away from the GCRs.

Unibot isn't in many of them. Promise

[Cerian Quilor]

Its not that Unibot is in them - its not any one person. Its the mentality I see when people are yelling about GCR politics.

[PrussianEmpire]

[quote="Cerian Quilor";p="17535770"]Its not that Unibot is in them - its not any oAll ne person. Its the mentality I see when people are yelling about GCR politics.[/quoteAll]
Just depends what GCR you're in. TEP is pretty chill.

[The Lonely Hearts Club Band]

However, SVLHCB, whilst doing its utmost to preserve positive relations with Lazarus, is forced to ask for the sake of media neutrality why the image used by the Gazette previous to the last seems to depict a large piece of Toblerone cleverly disguised as Defender Military-grade iron, when our investigations prove conclusively such iron is "much mined, very bountiful" in Lazarus. We ask this with greatest respect for the historically significant statistical accomplishment of the Lazarene workers, and look forward to an official gazette regarding Toblegate.

Perhaps you are not aware of the naturally occurring alloy 'Tobliron' that can be found in several of the mountain ranges dotting Lazarus' far north. These mountains are in fact home to the famous 'Toblerone Trees' from which capitalists formerly harvested the world's supply of Toblerone, before being forced to turn to an inferior synthetic version once the means of production were returned to the People (fun fact: the mountain depicted on the Toblerone packaging is in fact in Lazarus).

When the fruit of the Toblerone tree has the chance to decompose on the mountainside, it infuses the mountain's iron with unique properties, most notable of which is the distinct taste of 'Swiss Milk Chocolate with Honey and Almond Nougat.' Though it holds up just as well as regular iron, Tobliron has the ability to double as rations for our comrades in the Lazarus Liberation Army when they conduct extended missions.

Miraculous.

[Lazarene Gazette]

Update on Previous Post: Milograd has voted against "Liberate 'Deep Space'", since it was actually getting close to passing.

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Breaking News: The South Pacific and Lazarus Exchange Gifts [1] [2]

Pictured: Bao Li prior to his arrival in The South Pacific.

Forbidden City, Lazarus -- The innovative minds in the People's Republic of Lazarus spent the day pondering what should next be done about relations with The South Pacific, whom with Lazarus still shares a frosty relationship. An urgent meeting between all Governors and Milograd was called in the Forbidden City last night. "It would be best to send a new, charming diplomat over there," said Governor Kazmr during the beginning of the meeting. Vice-Chairman Harmoneia responded, "We should offer to hold a cultural event with them!" Milograd disagreed, however, and suggested a radical but unique, and perhaps crazy enough to work, strategy that was reliant on the world's love for furry creatures.

Per Milograd's decisive orders, Lazarene ambassador Meow Zedong, or The Grim Reaper, arrived on South Pacifican soil shortly before noon today. He entered the Lazarene Embassy by lunch and placed a call to TSP's capital, telling them that he had come with a gift for the ages. At first, his claims were met with confusion, but are said to have become both joyous and curious after Meow clarified what it was he had brought.

A young panda named Bao Li was delivered to the embassy. Bao Li is on loan to the South Pacific for 10 years at the Lazarene expense, as a sign of good-will. Meow said, "Esteemed Chairman Milograd has expressed his deepest hopes that Bao Li will be 'a panda that will surely attract many tourists to their zoos.' Following the loan, it is expected that Lazarus will replace Bao Li with another Lazarene born panda and allow Bao Li to live out the rest of his life in the Lazarene panda conservatory. "

Bao Li is three and a half years, named phonetically for TSP members Belschaft and Hileville. His name translates to "Commendable Profit". Like all giant pandas, Bao Li lives off a diet of bamboo - Lazarus has generously provided six months of bamboo with Bao Li's delivery, and expects to deliver two months' worth at a time until a survey can be conducted to ascertain the South Pacific's suitability for a transplanted bamboo culture.

"We hope that jointly caring for this panda will help train our two regions for mutually caring for our diplomatic relationship," stated Meow. TSP's Minister of Foreign Affairs excitedly responded to the arrival of the panda. "It is gladly accepted. I'm sure Bao Li will love our southern environment and lampshade-shaped bamboo." Kringalia later delivered an otter to Lazarus on The Coalition's behalf.

[Kringalia]

I love Bao Li! He will receive good care from The South Pacific. Here is a gift to Lazarus in return: http://w11.zetaboards.com/ns_lazarus/topic/9630116/1/

[Glen-Rhodes]

你好暴利!^*

I hope this sign of good-will opens up a channel of dialogue between our two regions. The Non-Aggression Pact, which is sailing towards swift victory, is a symbol of GCR cooperation even during the hardest of times. Even though some members of our respective regions do not see eye to eye, there is no reason why The South Pacific and Lazarus must be enemies.

*Based on your translation, I'm assuming these are the characters you had in mind. :]

[The Lazarene Gazette]

Lazarene Birth Rate Shatters Records
Productivity Also Sees Gains

Fertile mothers abound in Lazarus as the Peoples' Republic has ushered in the highest monthly birthrate in history.

A report delivered by the Chairman revealed that there were 49 new citizens born in November, the first month that has taken place entirely during the new era of prosperity ushered in by widespread socialist thought, twice as many members were added to the population roles than any month in regional history. The total is also 250% greater than the average monthly birthrate.

This booming population growth can only mean good things for Lazarus, as more children will soon lead to more workers and a greater ability to maintain regional security.

The growth can be attributed to the PRC's widespread campaign to encourage births, as well as the overall aura of happiness coming from the new society.

That happiness has also led massive productivity gains, which will only multiply as the new generation comes of age. Lazarus saw 195 factories built around the region in the past month alone, three times the historical average. These contributed to a massive 1686 post output, besting any previous record and shattering the average by nearly 1,000. It is believed that November 26 even set an all-time record, with 149.

Finally, there is the fact that a record 122 users were working concurrently throughout the region on November 29 to help build the numerous posts; truly a victory for productivity.

It is truly a golden age for Lazarus. Socialism will only drive the numbers higher with time.

[Harmoneia]

Onward to the glorious march for harmony! o/

[Charax]

I love these updates.

[PrussianEmpire]

Hail Lazarus!

[Cerian Quilor]

What do those factories represent? New topics, or just a number made up to sound good?

<Is genuinely curious>

Also, congrats on the activity spike!

[Kazmr]

What do those factories represent? New topics, or just a number made up to sound good?

<Is genuinely curious>

Also, congrats on the activity spike!

New topics on the forum, correct. Basically this was an entertaining way of publicizing this.

[Cerian Quilor]

It is a nice way to tie the events and the theme together.

Well-written piece. (a bit over the top and such, but that's kind of fitting with the theme )

[Meow Zedong]

It is a nice way to tie the events and the theme together.

Well-written piece. (a bit over the top and such, but that's kind of fitting with the theme )

It only seems over the top because in your lifetime you have never seen the glory of such efficient and impressive production numbers.

[Cerian Quilor]

Oh, but I have. I do in Kantrias in all but one of the 13.5 Terms we've had (a Term is 30 days, though we don't start them at the beginning of the month).

I wasn't attacking anyone. It read like over-the-top propaganda ala like, Animal Farm, but given the regional theme, it works perfectly.

[Lazarene Gazette]

Breaking News: The Red Fleet Disbands
Dec 21 2013


Red Fleet Warships Return Home.

Admiralty Headquarters, The Internationale — Early this morning, a heated argument between La Republica Cubana Socialista, Proletarus, and Marxist-Feminists broke out on The Internationale's RMB. The situation in the storied anti-fascist military organization from the other side of the world has been increasingly tense in the aftermath of Comrade La pasionaria's deletion from the game. Fleet Admiral Forestarnya responded to the argument by announcing the end of The Red Fleet, a decision which he primarily credits due to the difficulty inherent in running the organization with La pasionaria, amongst other reasons such as a lack of appreciation for TRF and simply feeling that it was time to end the organization's run.

His full statement can be found here, and in it he states, "even if we ultimately failed, at least we tried...Do not walk with heads bowed but hold them high, proud that you have been part of arguably the most effective attempt to unite the Left in NS in recent years." The below e-mail was sent to all registered users of The Red Fleet's board hours ago:

Comrades,

I regret to inform you that 21:14 GMT The Red Fleet has been disbanded.

The forum will remain available for as long as it is used.

There will be no deletion of the existing data, but administration gradually be withdrawn.

Thank you for taking part. I hope you had some fun.

[Misley]

Admiral Marxingrad has taken the reins and is reorganizing. The Red Fleet sails on.

[The Lazarene Gazette]

Preeminant Lazarene Philosophers Tear Through the Lies of Post-Post-Modernists

In a panel that will surely be remembered for all of time, Preeminant Lazarene Philosophers Meow Zedong, Chairman Milograd, and Mother of the People Comrade Harmoneia proved that Lazarene philosophy is truly the best philosophy. To counter the rising threat of dangerous Post-Post-Modernist, Pre-Post-Post-Modernist, Neo-Post-Modernist, and Neo-Pet-Modernist reactionaries who have recently sought to overthrow the Harmonious Society, words poured out of these Heroes' mouths that shall serve as a foundation of equality.

"The last of these great threats," shared Milograd to end his introduction, "is perhaps the greatest of all. The 'modernists' who in fact are the reverse seek to continue the slavery of NeoPets into the modern era. The NeoPets have nothing to lose but their chains, and the world to gain."

This rousing line of true Socialist thought drew loving applause from the crowd, but the people were in for more truly glorious teachings.

"Indeed, Chairman," added Meo Zedong soon afterwards, "We must all be wary of the threat of the Neo-Pet-Modernists, and should in fact join the struggle against them, but it is my firm belief that there is perhaps a greater threat in the anti-dis-pre-pre-post-pre-post-post-pre-post-post-contemporary-traditional-modernists who have been sweeping through the global establishment. These parasites seek nothing more than to destroy our society, and will spin a vast web of lies in order to do so."

Harmoneia's greatest contribution to the discussion was a brilliant explanation of how to go about ending the threat: "It is clearly the patriarchal societies outside Lazarus that breed these devious air-gangsters. Therefore, we must go the extra mile and eliminate the urinal in Lazarus. Genuine equality between the sexes, and indeed between all citizens, can only be realized in the process of socialist transformation of society as a whole. The chauvinistic-pigdog neo-post-pre-post-post-contemporary-modernists will be defeated once the means of... production... are the same. Patriotic Lazarenes sit together!"

Milograd returned to conclude the festivities with a bold statement: "Decisively pulverize the neo-post-post-modernist, air gangster, milk gargler, jaywalker reactionary line! Only when all Lazarenes work towards that goal can the counter-anti-dis-pre-pre-post-pre-post-post-pre-post-post-contemporary-traditional-modernist culture and its related sub-counter-cultures be thrown out of our glorious region!"

Truly Lazarene philosophy is best philosophy!

[Communist Eraser]

Where have you been all my life?

[Drop Your Pants]

Where have you been all my life?

The whole region is built to accommodate you

[LLA1]

We should probably include a disclaimer to indicate that that's borrowed from inane IRC bullshitting, and does not reflect our more serious NS philosophy about our regoonal governance or socialism (thia clearly doesn't have anything to do with it).