World Cup 50 - The RP Thread

[Whittoria]

Whittoria Prepares For Next Matchup

Home match against Quakmybush big, injuries may hamper ability to tie


Story by Jimmy LePage

Brian McNair and the Mayors had their final practice before matchday this week. The Mayors seemed focused and better prepared than usual, although they had some injuries during the week.

Germal Polius strained his hip flexor early on Monday, and despite all the salt tablets Carlos Spicyweiner gave him he's still doubtful for this weekend. Everton St. Croix will also sit this week out due to appendicitis. Filling in for them will be Shervon Jack and Iàcob Mac an Ionnsaich, both who have seen playing time earlier this year while four players sat out for suspension.

"We've had a good week," said winger Iàcob Alasdair Whuit, "hopefully we'll live up to our expectations this week."

So what's our pick for this week? You guessed it: a draw. But we're going to go out on a limb here and call the score: Whittoria 32-32 Quakmybush. Call us crazy but hey, it's not like it couldn't happen.



Keene's Future Still TBD

Okay, Daily Mulcahey, I'll admit my previous offer was a little out there; I mean Keene's no Terrell Owens. So here's my next offer, which I think you all will like better: we'll trade you Keene for a bottle of English Porter's Rum and the condition that you compensate us for printing our article in your paper without our permission (the bottle of porter's rum should do it, unless you want to remove the photo in which case we'll just give Keene to you). In all fairness that's pretty reasonable. We here at the Daily Whittorian await your reply.

[Schiavonia]

"Welcome to SIBN, where myself Laurie Jones and him..."

"...me?"

"Yes, you."

"What?"

"Your name."

"Oh... er... Al Smith."

"Anyway, we're here to preview a match that has amazing potential for this tiny little island."

"So this is our trip to Sargossa, right?"

"Yes it is. Win, and Schiavonia's kids will unbelievably be guaranteed a place in the World Cup finals. Lose, and the gap will be greatly reduced, with the momentum going with Sargossa."

"And maybe The Macabees, too."

"Maybe so. But it is the biggest match that these kids have faced in their relatively short lives so far."

"By far. And can you see us winning this?"

"Absolutely not! You don't win the Cup of Harmony by being mugs. If you can win that, you can easily beat a bunch of children at your own place."

"You're right. It would be something quite remarkable for a bunch of players so young not to get nervous."

"Right, well that's that decided, then! Sargossa are obviously going to go and beat the young 'uns, then reel them in and make it to the cup. For them, I'd say nothing can go wrong now!"

"Absolutely!"

"Considering how the team's target at the half way stage was fourth place, they are looking good for that still."

"Well, that's something. We'll see you during Schiavonia's defeat to Sargossa tomorrow!"

"We will. Goodnight!"

[Sarzonia]

Strange as it sounded, Sarzonia's football braintrust was almost elated over the team's 3-1 victory over Toiletdonia.

To be fair, the Stars struggled mightily to put away a team ranked far lower in the world rankings than it. Honestly, the Stars were trailing 1-0 as late as 78 minutes into the match, and their first loss in qualifying was staring them in the face.

However, assistant manager Diogo Avarel, pulling the strings in this match with Franz Braddock on holiday, sent in a still gimpy Clayton Bocanegro for an obviously tiring Dennis Crandall. On paper, it was a defensive move, a surprise with the team searching for at least an equalising goal. The move seemed to spark the Stars, and they scored three goals within a span of seven minutes to turn the match into a solid triumph.

"I just felt Clayton could provide us a spark, as you say," Avarel said. "I played a hunch he could give us 10-15 minutes, even on his ankle."

"It felt good once I got onto the pitch," Bocanegro said. "Once we launched that counter [which Matt Lynch buried in the 78th minute to draw the match level], it didn't feel like I was hurting at all."

Bocanegro even scored the winning goal himself with a bicycle kick. As a concession to his injury, he pushed off from the uninjured foot, and then used that foot to redirect the rebound past Harry Daniels in the 82nd minute. The celebration that ensued was for more than simply a goal. It was for more than simply the winning goal to silence a now-disappointed home crowed. It was Bocanegro's way of saying, "I'm back."

With Toiletdonia now pushing numbers forward in a desperate effort to reclaim the point in the table so cruelly snatched from their grasp, Bocanegro took advantage of a poor cross toward the Stars penalty area and started the counter. Forward Zack Wilson was running with him and became the beneficiary of a great cross, to go along with the goal that served as the nail in the coffin. Eighty-eight minutes in, the Stars had a seemingly insurmountable 3-1 lead.

Despite the Secristani referee giving five minutes of stoppage time, leading some Stars depth players to wonder if he were being paid off, that lead proved to be insurmountable after all. The Stars had yet another triumph. Toiletdonia were still mathematically out of the running for World Cup 50. And Diogo Avarel had the sort of experience managing in a blowout victory could not provide.

"We wanted him to manage in a situation where the result was very much in doubt," said Incorporated Football Federation chairman Brian Wilson. "And we're pleased to see how well he did in that situation."

Goalkeeper coach Horace Sandt will manage the team in the Iron Bowl in Portland against Teletropis. The previous time the teams met, Sarzonia came away with a 8-0 away thrashing that set records for total goals scored and margin of victory. The Stars since hung 10 against Arroza, and Sandt said he would "just try to stay out of the way."

With an away fixture to Casari and a home match against Fictions left on the team's post-Teletropis schedule, the assistants will likely get more opportunities to manage matches. Braddock said he would return for the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy semifinal against Starblaydia. He will also manage the final or the third place playoff "barring a red card."

"A red card?"

"If I get red carded, which I don't expect, I'll have to sit out the next match. If that were to happen, James [Potherington, associate manager and current manager-in-waiting] would manage that match."

[Sargossa]

Destination Humiliation


Men against boys. A much used phrase that has suddenly taken a whole new level of importance. Largely thanks to that wonderfully Sargossan ability to shoot ourselves in both feet at the same time. All that effort that went into a thrilling 3 – 3 draw with top seeds and former world champions Dancougar. All that belief that came from what is regarded as one of the best international matches the city of Soluca (no crowd trouble this time) has seen in its admittedly small sporting history. All that good work thrown away one round later. On a night when not one of the other qualification contenders managed a victory, Schiavonia held at home by Sel Appa while Valladares and The Macabees cancelled themselves out, all the Corsairs had to do was go to lower ranked Mantwenic and win. And all was going according to plan until two late goals from the home side turned expected win into embarrassing defeat.

And now a world cup place has been snatched out of our hands. Oh it’s still possible but it all depends on Cueto and his creepy kids dropping points in the final three games. And up next they travel here, to our mighty ediraf Arena for what could be the game that unthinkably wraps up a world cup spot for Schiavonia’s own cast of Village of the Damned. There have been some embarrassing results in our history. Being hammered in the Copa Rushmori final was embarrassing. Being taken apart by the ladies of Cassadaigua in our own backyard was embarrassing. But at least they were full sized ladies, beautifully sized ladies in fact, heaving of bosom and purt of . . . the point is they were grown-ups. Having our highly trained group of professional footballers, some of whom ply their trades at the very highest level, honest, Cup of Harmony holders no less, denied a place at this historic world cup tournament by a team of hooded ASBO fodder would not a good headline make. Men against boys indeed, with an entire nation’s sporting pride at stake.

[F1-Insanity]

If he is not a crybaby like TO, send him over
Case of English Porter's Rum sent on its way

Dear Whittoria, if your Keene is not a crybaby like a certain Terrell Owens (after seeing his team sodomized by the Giants) then send him over! We've sent you a case of English Porter's Rum already, it should be there soon. We did not delay because we recognize how in the creation of rum, age is crucial, and in consumption also.

The time signature of removal of said 'offending' picture is:

Last edited by F1-Insanity on Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:10 pm

Delayed game vs Cafundeu rescheduled for tonight
The game was supposed to have been played yesterday, but got cancelled because of torrential rain. We have been informed that the referee has OK'd the game for tonight! So fans, be there early!

[Krytenia]

And we can fix this thing together,
CUT OFF RPs forever,
Nothing's gonna stop us now.

And if this world runs out of numbers
We'll still have each other.
Nothing's gonna stop us,
Nothing's gonna stop us now.

RP Cutoff - and as a note, you're stuck with the Cyan One scorinating for the rest of WCQs.

[Schiavonia]

"David! David!!!"

"What is it Carlos?"

"The RP machine just splurted this out! I think we got ourselves a rival!"

Carlos showed David the report from the Sargossan press source. David began to read it.

"Well, they've got a point."

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, look at our lot. They're the youngest human team in the competition, we are the size of a village and we certainly have our fair share of oddballs. If they don't beat us, then it is a huge embarrasement!"

"Well, when you put it like that."

Carlos contemplated.

"Do you ever think we're too nice to people about stuff like that?"

"Nah."

[Delaclava]

DNBSports.com

Rogerre condemns cup organizers after game time switched

Len Rogerre, Delaclava Olympic Committee president, had some harsh words for Krytenia's World Cup organizers after a qualifying game was moved up 6 whole hours, meaning that Delaclava's reserves had to suffer through a 3-goal first half, after arriving two minutes before the start of the game, and a stiff starting squad couldn't warm up and take back the game in the 3-0 loss to Tyrrin.

Delaclava had previously beaten Tyrrin 1-0, and everyone in the Delaclava Olympic Committee and the whole squad was confident that at least a draw was possible. Combined with Vilita beating second-placed Aguazul 2-1, at least a draw would have left Delaclava in contention; however, the loss puts them six points out and a goal differential of 15 to gain.

"This was a disgusting attempt to dislodge a team with a very good chance at qualifying for the World Cup," Rogerre said. "It would have been exciting for the players to go to Krytenia or The Holy Empire for the real thing, but now they have to go to Nethertopia or The Weegies, just because Delaclava qualifying wouldn't have been traditional. This was a clear attempt by the old boys club to continue the silent apartheid against newer teams that threaten to break up the party."

The normally calm Simon De Braden turned the dial up on the organizers a little further, calling them "xenophobic cowards who can't handle change".

"This was just fucking wrong. Tyrrin's defense had holes that our offense could have exploited. But if we can give only one-half of a shot when we're not physically ready to play...this wasn't some damn mistake. They fucked this up on purpose. And even if it was an accident, it's a pretty big one, and it makes them pretty fucking retarded, meaning they shouldn't even be hosting this Cup."

Ruben Hester, who has made quite a resurgence as a key player in this campaign, merely burned a Krytenian flag before walking away.

Manager Nolan Wright had this to say: "For my part, I will stay out of this, but I'll do nothing to stop my players from saying anything. Our country was built on the bedrock of free speech and expression, and treating everyone equally. The organizers brought this on themselves, and they have to deal with what comes."

Delaclava, with 34 points, will host Barnettsville and then visit Binary Load Lifters. Group leaders Kelssek, with 42 points, will host Tyrrin and visit Barnettsville. Second-placed Aguazul, with 40 points, will host Slaytesics and visit Westmeadow Tavern. Third-placed Tyrrin, with 39 points, will visit Kelssek and host Geisenfried.

[Schiavonia]

"So, a draw. An amazing game that finished three-all and leaves Schiavonia's superkids on the verge of qualification!"

"Unbelievable game, Laurie."

"Sargossa clearly took our team too lightly in the opening exchanges, and were two down before we were twenty minutes in. But then the comeback to take the lead was astonishing before Hogan's late, late equaliser."

"And so where does it leave us?"

"Well, we we were three points away from qualification. Simple maths should tell you that we're now only two away now."

"Of course."

"And with a home game against San Giorgia a Cremano and a trip to Glynhoran to come, it would take something catastrophic to throw it away from here."

"Surely nothing can go wrong now!"

"Well, we did lose to San Giorgio a Cremano before. Who is to say that we won't again. Then there's Glynhoran, who're no pushovers."

"You're making me nervous already!"

"Sargossa have a tricky trip to Valladares next, but a simple match at home to Royalsoldiers to finish."

"And The Macabees?"

"A trip to Sel Appa on the last day. Sargossa's trip to Valladares apart, they're all games that these teams should win, but there's so much at stake that this could end up being a battle of nerves."

"This is still going to be tense."

"It is, but hopefully Schiavonia can see home their advantage from here. Surely?"

"Anyway, we'd better go."

"Why?"

"The locals sound quite angry."

"Oh dear. Someone should tell them it's only a game!"

"Good job we don't have much away support, then, isn't it?"

"I guess. Now, have you got those disguises?"

"I've got mine. You're just going to have to flirt your way out of here."

"Shouldn't be a problem. Goodnight everyone!"

[Sarzonia]

With Sarzonia playing a home match in front of 46,220 faithful at the Iron Bowl in Portland, the unhappiest person in the stadium among Sarzonians had to be Horace Sandt.

The Stars won comfortably against Teletropis by a 6-2 scoreline, but he had conclusive evidence of why Cody Taylor was his team's starting goalkeeper. Reserve goalie Joel A'Hearn earned his first start in a World Cup qualifying match and was an unmitigated disaster. He conceded goals on the first two shots he faced and was very shaky on the first save he did make. Fortunately for A'Hearn, those were the only chances he would face until halftime.

At that moment, defender Ben Davis bent the youngster's ear and told him to take charge. In the second half, the kid complied. He aggressively commanded the box and made a breathtaking diving save on a shot that almost assuredly would have gone in against another goalkeeper.

Still, Sandt was displeased. And for good reason. He was the goalkeeping coach, and his protegé coughed up two goals against a team that was no threat to the Stars or their World Cup hopes.

"I guess my audition didn't go so well," he said wryly. However, he knew what would happen when Franz Braddock returned. He'd get an earful about the poor defence, about the shoddy goalkeeping. Never mind the fact that the Stars scored goals in bunches. Never mind the fact that only Cafundéu's 90-goal total eclipses Sarzonia's own 81-goal tally.

Such is the life when you have a team that is expected to do well. No more would a dominating scoreline be enough. The Stars were expected to dominate all phases of the match. And, that didn't happen against Teletropis.

"We're going to have to play better next time out," Sandt said, mindful that associate manager James Potherington would have it no other way in their final away match of qualifying, against Casari. Avarel would manage the team in the final home fixture in Portland against Fictions. Then it would be Potherington managing against Bears Armed Mainland, assistant manager Diogo Avarel calling the shots against The Han Empire and Sandt manning the controls against Callidon.

The depth players would get plenty of chances to prove themselves over the course of this maddeningly long qualifying campaign, and in the friendlies. The starters would get their chance to remain sharp in a match with serious implications against Starblaydia, then against the winner or loser of the Jhanna Regional Final between Dancougar and Krytenia. The identity of their opponent, and the locale of their final match would depend upon how well Sarzonia did against Starblaydia.

One aspect of that impending matchup was not lost on Potherington, who has quickly grasped some of the history of his new employers. In the early days of the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy, Sarzonia were an unranked side looking to honour their late founder whilst playing against outstanding competition. Their return to international football was heralded with a 4-0 thwacking at the hands of the Purple Peril.

Now, it is the Stars who are more highly ranked than their purple-clad opponents. And the match between the two nations was taking place in Nicksia during the semifinals.

"We've come a long way in a relatively short time," Potherington said, allowing himself to take the long view on his adopted nation's progress. Top-ten in the world after only five World Cup qualifying campaigns. Damn near qualifying in our first go despite being unranked? It's definitely going to be different facing Starblaydia even from the previous meeting in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy."

To wit: Sarzonia were 25th ranked going into that match against then-No. 1 Starblaydia. The teams played through two 15-minute overtime periods without deciding a winner. Then, it was that bane of Krytie existence that gave Sarzonia the first MSMT it would win: Penalties.

After providing his team a badly-needed lift against Toiletdonia, Clayton Bocanegro remained on the players' bench throughout this victory against Teletropis. He didn't need to test his Grade 2 sprain of his ankle any further than he did against Toiletdonia.

"We're considering starting him against Starblaydia if he doesn't have any setbacks between now and then," Potherington said. "That's going to be a big if," Avarel warned. "It was just as sore today as it was yesterday. Previously, he'd felt less pain without needing a cortisone shot.

Bocanegro said if he had to take cortisone to be ready for Starblaydia, he would.

"You don't want to miss that match," he said. "No matter what the stakes are."

[Silver Beach]

VICTORY IN SILVER BEACH!!!

Today in WCQ, Silver Beach won 3-1 over East Lithuania. The victory was dominating, and Charles Stando had two goals to lead the Silver Beach team. This could very well be Peter Morath's last victory as head coach of the National Team, and he got a standing ovation from 89,000+ at Gold Oil Field(a record attendance for a sports match at Gold Oil). Charles Stando also got a standing ovation and they are celebrating this crazily

Silver Beach
15th minute: Charles Stando GOAL
35th minute: Charles Stando GOAL
78th minute: Matthew Stuart GOAL
East Lithuania
56th minute: GOAL

[Toiletdonia]

What we won 3-2 against Steroga! Wow so many confusing nation names. Toiletdonia may be officially out of the world cup but we still have the cup of harmony to look forward to. We then have BoF 38 with our puppet to look forward to. But great we won! How? Here's how.

0 Mins: Kick-off

16 Mins: 1-0 to Steroga

24 Mins: Jankor misses from 25 yards.

32 Mins: Milak Misses from inside the box.

40 Mins: Harry Daniels pulls off an excellent save.

43 Mins: 2-0 to Steroga

45 Mins: Half-Time.

63 Mins: Van Vust scores from just inside the 18 yard box.

72 Mins: Jankor scores the equlizer from range.

80 Mins: Close effort from Toa Tota.

82 Mins: Jankor shoot and it going in.... and it's saved.

85 Mins: Van Vust comes close from range.

89 Mins: Milak shoot and it's going in wait a minute... it won't be possible it's going the goalie to far away... it's been saved the crowd is amazed Steroga are still in the game.

90+3 Mins: Vust shoot it rebounds... Milak shoots but it's punched away.

90+4 Mins: Surely this is over. Wait here comes Tota he's beaten all the defenders.. and he's jumped the keeper and... it hit the crossbar but he scores from the rebound!

90+6 Mins: Full-time Toiletdonia 3 Steroga 2.

[Valladares]

Valladares Sports Net

WORLD CUP 50 QUALIFYING MATCHES - Sel Appa 0-0 Valladares

BURIED HOPES

SEL APPA (VP) - Despite the best efforts of the valladar players, Valladares was today eliminated of the World Cup after a boring 0-0 draw in Sel Appa.

After the 2-2 draw with The Macabees in Carloburgo that practically killed Valladares' hopes of qualifying, the players traveled to Sel Appa thinking in win the match against the Sel Appans, or at least try to play a decent match. The coach, staff and players were disappointed by the last match, knowing that the elimination was closer for Valladares, elimination that was ratified today.

As for the match, it could put to sleep a patient with insomnia, since both teams were totally harmless and devoid of ideas. The 0-0 was a fair score for the most boring match Valladares have played in this World Cup cicle.

Tickets against Sargossa still unsold

In other news, for the next match against Sargossa, to be played in Eterna City, the tickets have been not sold as expected. Within hours of the match at the Alain Tramontin Stadium, there are only 350 sold tickets out of a total of 55,000 available. VFA commisioners attributed this to the fact that Valladares are already out of options to qualify for the World Cup, and therefore, the match is no longer expected with such expectation. This could cause that the Alain Tramontin Stadium is not taken into consideration as a venue for the National Team for upcoming World Cup qualifiers.

PRE-QUAL: Swartaz 0-0 Valladares - Venue: Storvansten Hill , Storvansten, Swartaz

MD1: Glynorhan 1-4 Valladares - Venue: Reaper's Field, Glynorhan City, Glynorhan
MD2: Valladares 3-0 Die Adler - Venue: Estádio Estadual Brito Manganelli, Chiquito (Cap. 51,200)
MD3: Dancougar 2-3 Valladares - Venue: King Daniel III National Stadium, Yuki City, Dancougar
MD4: Valladares 1-2 Mantwenic - Venue: Estadio de la Riviera, Slateport City (Cap. 40,000)
MD5: Schiavonia 2-1 Valladares - Venue: The Field, somewhere in Schiavonia
MD6: BYE
MD7: Valladares 2-1 Royalsoldiers - Venue: Estádio Armando Bozzelli, Campo Grande (Cap. 50,000)
MD8: The Macabees 3-3 Valladares - Venue: Somewhere in The Macabees
MD9: Valladares 3-0 Sel Appa - Venue: Stade Jules Picot, Bezieres (Cap. 38,000)
MD10: Sargossa 2-2 Valladares - Venue: ediraf Arena, Soluca, Sargossa
MD11: Valladares 1-3 San Giorgio a Cremano - Venue: Stade de l'Amitié, Fontvielle (Cap. 25,000)

MD12: Valladares 5-1 Glynorhan - Venue: Dragon Stadium, Canalave City (Cap. 35,000)
MD13: Die Adler 1-0 Valladares - Venue: Somewhere in Die Adler
MD14: Valladares 0-7 Dancougar - Venue: National Stadium, Swangard-Metropolis (Cap. 85,000)
MD15: Mantwenic 1-3 Valladares - Venue: Somewhere in Mantwenic
MD16: Valladares 2-3 Schiavonia - Venue: Metropolis Dome, Metropolis (Cap. 65,000)
MD17: BYE
MD18: Royalsoldiers 2-0 Valladares - Venue: Stadium, Corona, Royalsoldiers
MD19: Valladares 2-2 The Macabees - Venue: Olympic Stadium, Carloburgo (Cap. 62,000)
MD20: Sel Appa 0-0 Valladares - Venue: Somewhere in Sel Appa
MD21: Valladares vs. Sargossa - Venue: Alain Tramontin Stadium, Eterna City (Cap. 55,000)
MD22: San Giorgio a Cremano vs. Valladares - Venue: TBC

POST-QUAL: Valladares vs. Schiavonia - Venue: Estádio de Maldonado, Maldonado (Cap. 23,000)

[Osarius]

Almost as if to defy the collective prayer of the Kingdom of Osarius, Cassadaigua did what was expected and rann out winners 3-1 win over Al-Mumtaz. The result, despite the rare phenomenon of relative unity in Osarius as many prayed for a favourable result, was the final nail in the Firebirds qualfifying hopes' coffin. With effectively nothing left to play for, Benedict di Corradi chose to give some fringe players a run out in Manswell, and they managed to earn a four goal draw. Some have speculated that the loss of any chance to reach the World Cup finals will be a huge blow to some of the more senior members of the Osarius squad, such as Jermain Lewis and Dean Atkinson. However, assistant manager Giorgio Cassetti - who took charge against Manswell - thinks otherwise.

"I don't think this will affect the players. Especially not Jermain. He is a complete professional, and will lift the rest of the team. This is why he is captain. Also, when you think about it, he has had his fair share of disappointments this year, but still performs well. Perhaps he can re-focus his energies and help us do well in the Cup of Harmony. Who knows? Last time we played some good football and were perhaps unlucky not to progress past the group stage."

- Giorgio Cassetti, Osarius assistant manager

The veteran Osarian forward also expressed his enthusiasm over the developing careers of young forwards Everton McNeill, Ishmael Millbanks-Ford, and Rhianna Johnson. The trio started against Manswell in a 4-3-3 formation, and their athleticism gave the home side a few problems early in the game. Defensively, Aaron Chambers partnered captain for the day Tay Gidds, while goalkeeper Matthew Rose made his first start for the national team. Tay Gidds was effusive in his praise for his teammates, also suggesting that both of the home side's goals were perhaps a little contentious.

"Yeah I think the younger guys - and girl, sorry Georgie - did pretty well today. I think their first goal was probably offside, but we reacted well to that, to go 2-1 up. Some great play in midfield, especially Jordan Simpson, playing on the left of that middle three. Sano tells me he was grateful to have him there, haha. Its not his best position either, so that tells you how good a player he is. Errr not to take anything away from their equaliser, it was a brilliant free kick in all honesty, and I'm sure Benni or Reuben would have been proud of it, but I don't think Georgie's tackle was a foul. He's gone down way too easily for my liking, and she clearly played the ball. Soft free kick if you ask me."

- Tay Gidds, Osarius vice-captain

With two games remaining in qualification, the Firebirds' management have made it clear that they will make use of these fixtures to perhaps give some more fringe players more playing time, particularly the under 21s and women's squad players. Hope Peranio, who made her first senior team appearance against Manswell, has welcomed the opportunity to get more experience at international level, and has expressed her desire to play abroad, where women are taken more seriously in football. The tireless midfielder has openly expressed that she wishes to play in a nation where the standard of football is higher, claiming "it's the ultimate test of ability... to play against the best."

She is apparently not the only member of the Firebirds' squad with such aspirations, so its reasonable to assume that any player given an opportunity in the remaining qualifying matches will pour their heart and soul into trying to prove their worth. All this will be with the aim of being named in the squad for the Cup of Harmony, where they will perhaps be given more opportunity to put themselves in the shop window, so to speak.

[Whittoria]

ANOTHER DRAW FOR WHITTORIA

Defense rules the day as neither team manages a goal

Story by Jimmy LePage

Last night in Veuix Fort Whittoria drew again, this time against Quakmybush. While neither teams' offenses could manage to get going the defenses for each team played quite magnificent. Both teams shot at the goal 31 and 38 times, respectively, with Whittoria's Dermot Mac an Fhoirbhich and Quakmybush's Terrance Toms making 25 and 20 saves, respectively (the others were either wide or deflected by another player).

"Good game, great defense," said Brian McNair afterwards. "Dermot Mac an Fhoirbhich had a great game making all those saves. It looked like we might have gotten a shot in there at the end but we couldn't score. Still, great effort tonight."

The Mayors look to finish strong with an away match at Jeruselem and they'll end the season at home against Jasiyun.

[Tyrrin]

TYRRIN NATIONAL NEWS
Stallions Edge Towards a World Cup Berth

Remembrance Park, Tyrrin-Tyrrin defeated Delaclava last night by a score of 3-0 at home in Remembrance Park. Michael Willem managed two early goals, and Suleiman Donnchadh blasted in the final goal from thirty yards out just as the first half ended. This win keeps Tyrrin in third in the group, with only two matches to play. They have 39 points, just behind Aguazul with 40 and Kelssek with 42. Kelssek is next up on the Stallions' qualification schedule. The match will be played in Kelssek, and will be pivotal in deciding who gets to make a trip to Krytenia and/or the Holy Empire for the World Cup proper. Tyrrin lost to Kelssek at home in their last match, 2-0. They will have to play better this time around, as a loss here could mean missing a chance at back-to-back qualification. If the Stallions lose, we will be at best a point off a talented Aguazul team with one match to play. At worst, Aguazul would win, and we would be headed to the Cup of Harmony.

Delaclavan football officials were enraged when the match start time was moved up six hours. They asserted that their starters were not ready to play, so they were forced to use reserves instead. Tjaard Fedde had much to say about this move by his opponent. "Frankly, I don't see why their starters weren't able to play the first half. What is the difference between reserves and starters who aren't at their best? And didn't their reserves need to warm up? Eh, I guess when your players are all ex-military they will be ready for any situation."

Rio Fortunado added "I don't wish to speculate on why Delaclava did what they did, but I'm glad to see we aren't the only ones with whiny media in our group."

This latest result may fuel a the rivalry that has been brewing between the two nations in sporting events. After two matches, both nations have a victory in hand. The nations face off again in the post-qualifying friendlies.

Some pundits have expressed the opinion that Tyrrin should deliberately head for the Cup of Harmony, as they would end up as one of the highest-ranked nations in the competition. While it is true that this would make the Stallions one of the favorites to win the tournament, Montcalve has denounced what he calls "these defeatist attitudes," saying instead that "we intend to try our best to qualify, and we won't settle for anything else, regardless of a potential tournament win".

[Qazox]

WORLD CUP 50 Coverage

We're back once again, thanks to a 5-0 victory over West Zirconia; that win coupled with the Han Empire's off day, has the Pheonix in First place in the group for the first time these qualifiers. A pair of goals from Issac McErghon (25th and 33rd) lead the way; along with goals from Minka Olashava (45th+2); Craig Muntz (57th) and Dante Dukes (77th) to finish off the game.

With a trip to Burchadinger and a return home to face Great Sandy Desert to close out the qualifying; Qazox has a chance to finish atop the group, as both of our next two competitors are eliminated from World cup contention, and may not put forth their best efforts.

[Jeruselem]

Pups: This is no good.
Marie: We still have two games, it's over until the ... whatever ... sings.
Pups: Losing against Southern Northland isn't bad really, but time sucks.
Marie: It's like playing Jeru FC except we beat Jeru FC.

Pups: Jeru FC won 7-2 in their game.
Marie: They weren't playing a good team though.
Pups: I suppose, we must win our last two games now and hope them Jasiyun lot don't win anymore.
Marie: I heard Whittoria are defensive.

Pups: Defensive doesn't mean they are any good at defense.
Marie: True, but it does mean they'll be camping in defense all game.
Pups: We'll have to put more in attack then, without opening up our own defense.
Marie: It's not up to me, you're the one who has to get team working on the field.

Pups: Maybe I'm not the girl for this job.
Marie: Oi, I don't want talk like that. You have a job to do, you can do it Pups.
Pups: Let's see, we have a game at home against Whittoria and then one away against them Queers.
Marie: If we can't win the game at home, we don't deserve to qualify.

Pups: The Queer game isn't going to be easy.
Marie: I know we can win both, it'a a matter of execution.
Pups: We've had some bad games.
Marie: Well, losing makes one more determined to win.

Pups: I don't want let anyone down
Marie: You have to finish the job, no quitting on the job Pups.
Pups: I have no choice.
Dazza: Hello girls.

Pups: If it isn't Queen Dazza.
Dazza: I guess Queen Lilian doesn't sound right, or Queen Lily ... which sounds weirder.
Marie: Thank God you're not Queen Maggie.
Dazza: My Qazian friends still call me Maggie.

Pups: Please, not Queen Maggie. Maggie gives us enough grief.
Dazza: Queen Dazza then.
Marie: Welcome to the family, not that you aren't that different from us anyway.
Dazza: More Greenly in the Dallas family.

Pups: You're going to be related to Ryan now.
Marie: Funny that.
Dazza: I'm not really related in any way
Marie: You are now.

Pups: Where's the honeymoon going to be?
Dazza: Either West Ariddia or Qazox
Marie: West Ariddia is nice, I prefer Qazox.
Pups: Newmanistan! You'll be very welcome.

Dazza: So many choices.
Marie: Qazox, there's nothing like home.
Dazza: Home is Jeruselem now.
Pups: Yes, but you can always have more than one home.

[Kelssek]

Westmeadow Tavern 1-4 Kelssek

There's nothing like a trip to a purveyor of quality alcoholic beverages to awaken a Kelssekian from a post-Olympic funk-mixed-with-afterglow-of-euphoria, as football fans found out as a trip to the Westmeadow Tavern yielded a 4-1 win, moved the national team back to the top of their qualifying group, and caused Thomas Brodif to score a goal with a tremendous volley and also vomit in the street.

Fans and players alike, though thankfully mostly fans, have emerged from Olympics-induced catatonia to realise that once again, the World Cup beckons and has sneaked up on us again. Despite a rather disturbing lack of draws Kelssek are in a good position to qualify for the finals. Kelssek played well against Westmeadow Tavern and thoroughly deserved the win, although Petr Zherdek will be ruing the missed clean sheet after the ball took an unlucky bounce against the pool table.

Kelssek were able to open the scoring with a penalty given for a foul on Vincent Arsenault although the home players protested that he had tripped over a barstool rather than the defender's outstretched leg. Kelssek did well to clog up the midfield area, no doubt aided by the poorly-thought out placement of handrails in the tavern. Jean-Luc Fournier also did well to skip past a defender and thread a pass through the legs of the tables leaving Ian Sinclair with an easy finish with which the Metropolitano forward made no mistake. A simple and convincing victory over clearly weaker opposition and a good night out at a nice establishment have set up the team for a good run in the home stretch of the qualifiers.

[Whittoria]

KEENE IS OUT; RUM IS IN!

Intern shipped off as article removed from Daily Mulcahey


Story by Jimmy LePage

That's right folks; Horatio Keene is on his way to F1-Insanity as we speak. And on its way to The Daily Whittorian is a case of English Porter's Rum! Yes, Whittorian ships have been dispatched to escort the ship carrying the rum on its way into the harbor. We're not sure why they sent us a whole case of the stuff; perhaps it's compensation for reprinting the article and image without our permission. Either way, this columnist isn't complaining. I'm certain we came out on the better end of this deal, especially once Keene gets to The Daily Mulcahey and they realize just how worthless he is. Seriously, that guy did nothing.

But now this hostility has come to an end and we can all go back to our business at hand, which is covering the World Cup. We have no record for ties (another team has ten compared to our 5) but that doesn't mean we still can't try.

WHITTORIA PREPARES FOR JERUSELEM

The Mayors will have their hands full this week as they travel to Jeruselem for their next match. The last time Whittoria played Jeruselem we got thrashed pretty bad. But this week could be the week Whittoria turns things around. You know our pick: Whittoria draws with Jeruselem, 3-3.

Last week we got the draw part right but the score was the exact opposite of our pick: no one scored!

[Aguazul]

La Verdad

Vilita victorious

The national football team fell to their second defeat of the qualifiers, away in Vilita. Cosme Chavira's goal in minute 51 wasn't enough to stop the hosts, who scored in the seventeenth and 67th minutes of play.

The first goal followed a long run from the right defender, who evaded Peyo Alarcón to set up a forward. Chavira equalized after halftime, with Sergio Bustamante providing an assist, but the same forward would score to put the hosts ahead for good. Otoniel Sepúlveda picked up an injury towards the end of the game, and will miss the forthcoming match against Slaytesics; Pitin Rojas will start instead for Aguazul's final home game of the cycle, in Estadio Cochaucho.

Meanwhile, Kelssek defeated Westmeadow Tavern to take the group lead by two points, and Tyrrin beat Delaclava to leave the latter six points behind Aguazul. "At this point," Cristian Delgado sighed, "we don't deserve to be thinking about those results; we underperformed today, and we need to focus on our own game." Most fans seem to agree with him only to the extent in which it prevents them from having to add up too many numbers. With tiebreakers still unclear, Aguazul will be hoping their opponents have a stronger schedule; Tyrrin, a point behind us in third, visit Kelssek next.

**************************************************

He didn't want people to go to any more trouble than they had to, but the potential defender had debuted early on. Those early tournaments had been documented well, but the news reports were so old that they'd been kept in a special vault to preserve the pages. The boxes that held them all also contained other, extraneous commentary that didn't make much sense; he ignored it and tried to look for the information he had come to find.

It was not to be found, though, so he left the special vault and began rummaging through slightly more recent articles. There weren't as many extra reports there; the boxes weren't quite as impressively large, but they were more focused on the game.

He wondered how qualification was going. Aguazul were doing fairly well, from what he'd heard, but they were just one team. There were more countries entering than ever before, longer qualification stages than ever. Would anyone try to box up everything they'd done? Would the box have to be as big as the ones he was sorting through?

At least he could be sure of one thing. He had found the defender he needed. Writing down that name too, he put the old boxes away. The list was almost complete.

[Milchama]

"Well the epic collapse is complete"

"Yep"

"That sucks"

"We still have another chicken"

"Let's save it for the CoH, where it might matter"

"Alright"

[Jeru FC]

Ailill Ó Riagáin with Naked News's Samantha Sallad

Sam: Nearly there Ailill, one more win.
Ailill: It'll be fine. We'll do it.
Sam: Jeru FC can still not make it.
Ailill: Yes, but we have to lose two games and expect the others to win their games.

Sam: Yes, we'll be fine barring any disasters.
Ailill: Like SN?
Sam: Yes, you and your home country ...
Ailill: I'm sure Jeruselem will make the finals even with our win over you.

Sam: It didn't exactly help us.
Ailill: I know but everyone is out to win games.
Sam: Nevermind.
Ailill: I'm doing my best for Jeruselem, I mean Jeru FC.

Sam: You want to coach Jeruselem?
Ailill: I like it here, I have no reason to leave.
Sam: The boys can sure score goals but defending isn't exactly their thing.
Ailill: Doesn't matter if we score more than they do.

Sam: Oh well, time for ...
Ailill: A drink, or more drinking.
Sam: I just heard someone falling over.
Ailill: Must be the team having a good time. Say, you can't tell who this new Queen is going to be?

Sam: No, not yet.
Ailill: I promise to tell anyone else.
Sam: You'll get drunk and tell someone.
Ailill: OK, that might happen ... but not on purpose.

Sam: Sorry, I can't tell right now.
Ailill: Any clues?
Sam: It's not Sallad or Dallas ... and she is female.
Ailill: That's not very helpful, more please.

Sam: If I did, it'd be too easy.
Ailill: So someone well known, and someone well all know.
Sam: Err, yes. But I can't really give much away.
Ailill: Oh well, I'll work it out.

Sam: I'll love to tell you but you'd get drunk and tell the universe.
Ailill: Well, you have a point.
Sam: I can't the boys either, they have trouble shutting up.
Ailill: Yes, they aren't good with secrets.

[Jeruselem]

TO: Dennis Halpberg, President of Qazox
From: Lilian Dazza Greenly of Qazox (aka Lilian Margaret Greenly of Qazox)

Hi, I am about to become the wife of Henry Dallas, the King of Jeruselem (King Henry II of Jeruselem) This means I have to renounce my Qazian religion and become a Catholic because it's the way it is. Not that the religions are really that different, the adjustment isn't that hard.

This doesn't mean I'm abandoning my home nation but I now have a big duty as the future mother of the future children of the king. I might be planning to come home during the honeymoon but nothing has been decided yet. Of course, I will no longer be just your average visitor.

I intend to strengthen the bonds between Qazians and Jeruselemites, as peoples with common interests and also cultural differences. Along with Ryan Greenly (no relation) and Princess Helena Troi Dallas (daughter of Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas and Ryan), I will one of the resident Qazians in the Royal family.

PS - Call me Queen Dazza not Queen Maggie when I am Queen.

God bless Qazox

XXX
Dazza

(Corrected)

[Qazox]

To: Lilian Margaret Greenly
From: President Dennis Halpberg
Re: Your Wedding

I wholeheartedly approve and congradulate yourself and H.R.H. King Henry II upon your upcoming nuptuals. While His Holyness Holy Ox Oxen XXX might not approve of you leaving the Qazian faith, he does understand that it is necessary for you to do so. We have always had good relations with Jeruselem, in almost every sense of the word in some cases, and this marriage will further strengthen those ties. If you and H.R.H. do decide tyo honeymoon in Qazox, might I suggest the Grav Valley near Kibbutz? As you know Kibbutz has a large Jewish popluation, and the Grav Valley is home to many vineyards and lakes.

Once again I congradulate you and H.R.H. King Henry II and on behalf of the nation of Qazox, we wish you the best.

Dennis Halpberg, 33rd President of Qazox

(ooc to Jeruselem: Since she isn't married to him yet, it not prope to call her a Queen or Her Royal Highness, yet.)