The 52nd Baptism of Fire Everything Thread

by **Speranda** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 5:58 pm

An Interview

Maddie Winterston: We have here in our studio two members from the Speranda Football team to give us an update on the club in the BoF. We have Midfeild member Neil Frye, who scored the only goal in last nights match. How do you feel about that, Neil?

Neil Frye: It was certainly good to get something in then. We were behind one - nil after the The Fief of Sir Kunne’s goal in the 24th minute. It was the 78th minute, and we needed something. It was a beautiful corner from Ryan which I managed to get my head on and slip by the keeper. It felt good to get my first goal in international play. I think the team all in all did great, especially Oliver the Keither.

MW: Oliver the Keither?

NF: That’s what we like to call our goalie. His real name is Oliver Keith.

MW: We also have coach Frederick Silvermore. How do you feel about the match?

Frederick Silvermore: It think the boys did well. We played the better match for most of the 90 minutes, and it was nice to get it rewarded, thanks to Neil.

NF: Thanks to the team really.

MW: How are you feeling about tonight?

FS: I think we’ve got a good shot against Albaie. It will be a hard fought match.

MW: I look forward to it. Alright, we have to go to a comersial break, but good luck tonight!

by **Felix** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 6:01 pm

52nd Baptism of Fire: 0-0

By: Steven Smith

Felix continues the BoF campaign with a tie against Nandezia, both sides couldn't seem to get a hold on each other and it seemed like both came very well prepared. The first half started off strong with Felix dominating the pitch for 20 minutes, heck, we even had 5 corners! But the Nandezian defense was strong and it was nearly impossible to score against. Ziya Saqqaf attempted one out of many goals today, but it missed as he couldn't nail the volley. In 8 minutes later Felix attempted a goal again, but once again it was blocked. The half ended with no goals scored, 0-0.

Second half and it was more of the same as neither team could get over each other and the match remained tied up. Our offensive 3-4-3 formation was slowly wearing down the Nadezian defense but it didn't produce a goal. In the 72nd minute, Blau, our star defender, brought down their forward and caused a penalty kick. Fortunately for us, they missed and weren't able to take a lead. Felix attempted to win the match with one final attempt but the shot from Abaroa sailed away. Full time, 0-0. Each team winning one point.

The post game conference was all ok but you could clearly tell Cardona wanted the win, he later said that both teams played exceptionally well and that a tie is a fair result for the performances for both teams. He wished good luck on Nandezia and told them to beat the Free Republics for them. Felix faces Metropolis Mania at team right bellow us in the rankings. A win here and we are basically secured a spot into the playoff rounds. Good luck to all of our teams and see you next week.

As always here were the stats for today's game.

Goals
N/A
Assists
N/A
Possession
NAN: 50%
FEL: 50%
Fouls
NAN: 8
FEL: 10
Cards
Yellow: N/A
Red: N/A
Injuries
N/A

Now here are the statistics for the whole tournament so far.

Goals
Yun Dong Lee (3)
Mikel Abaroa (1)
Eutimio Salazar (1)
Assists
Mikel Abaroa (1)
Ziya Saqqaf (1)
Felix Pier (1)
Clean Sheets
Viggo Tyko (3)
Yellow Cards
N/A
Red Cards
N/A
Injury List
N/A

-------

52nd Baptism of Fire: Nova Hellstrom

By: Steven Smith

The reporter Nova Hellstrom, from the Free Republics is one of the worst reporters of sport I ever seen. She is a terrible writer and can't summarize a football match to save her life. Not to mention that she is blinded with Nationalism. Not that is bad or anything but her type of Nationalism is, quite frankly, stupid. She makes fun of all the countries saying that the world isn't worthy for real FFR players, that their local leagues are far superior than any national team. She even took a shot at fellow Esportivan nation, New Sideburn, in which she claimed that Brenecia was a puppet of New Sideburn. And she also said this, and I quote, "showing those foreigners from the backward region of Esportiva how to play soccer properly..." Unbelievable.

In the name of sporting journalism and the integrity of Sporting World newspaper, please fire Nova Hellstorm . She is a poison to sports journalism and she is better off back at home in her "amazing'' Free Republics. But unfortunately for us and the multiverse as a whole, she won't. Maybe because the FFR head coach is in love with her. This was Steven Smith reporting in Legalese.

OOC: I asked FRR for permission to do this part of my RP. None of this is personal.

by **Legalese** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 6:17 pm

Match Day Four Results

Nouvel Ecosse 2 - 0 Aquitayne
The Greater Archipelago 0 - 0 Sudagiu

Mechelen 1 - 0 Luzvimindia
Nandezia 3 - 1 Free Republics

Felix 1 - 0 Metropolis Mania
Tasrailia 1 - 1 Qatarus

Sondstead 2 - 0 Chiata
Ethington 1 - 0 Carizzal

Neo Lemmitania 1 - 1 Mizuyuki
German-Spanish Empire 3 - 0 Hontaypyar

Sangti 1 - 1 Neu Engollon
Kaznan 1 - 3 Aels

Albaie 0 - 2 Speranda
Colland 0 - 4 The Fief of Sir Kunne

Mythic Erin 0 - 1 Kikwipeyi
Brenecia 2 - 0 De La Fleur

The City of Woe 3 - 1 The Fair Republic
Mr Creeper 0 - 1 Borealia

Tantamir 0 - 4 Punum
Bloodridge 2 - 5 Telnaior

Fristat and Marianopolis 3 - 0 Lahoa
Penileanium 0 - 1 Kalusia

Europa Brittania 2 - 0 Piddlehinton
Tirdarsaor 2 - 0 Asasia

Oralana 0 - 1 Subramani
Arkolon 1 - 1 Querria

The Sovan Antithesis 1 - 0 Lzherusskia
Phing Phong 1 - 3 Soviet New Ireland
Joshulia 1 - 1 TailsPrower

Current Standings
Note: for clarity, teams have been separated in blocks to indicate who is level on points. Also, recall that after the final match day of the Casaran phase, all those above or level on points with the team in the sixteenth position will continue to the championship phase.

1. Nouvel Ecosse (4-0-0) 12 Pts. 8 GD 30 SoV 30 SoS
2. Nandezia (3-1-0) 10 Pts. 6 GD 23.333333333333332 SoV 30 SoS

3. Mechelen (3-1-0) 10 Pts. 5 GD 22.333333333333332 SoV 27 SoS
4. The Greater Archipelago (3-1-0) 10 Pts. 7 GD 18.333333333333332 SoV 25 SoS
5. Sudagiu (3-1-0) 10 Pts. 9 GD 16.333333333333332 SoV 23 SoS
6. Felix (3-1-0) 10 Pts. 6 GD 15.333333333333334 SoV 22 SoS

7. Ethington (3-0-1) 9 Pts. 9 GD 19 SoV 29 SoS
8. German-Spanish Empire (3-0-1) 9 Pts. 5 GD 19 SoV 29 SoS
9. Sondstead (3-0-1) 9 Pts. 3 GD 18 SoV 25 SoS
10. Aquitayne (3-0-1) 9 Pts. 5 GD 10 SoV 22 SoS

11. Tasrailia (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 2 GD 15.333333333333334 SoV 30 SoS
12. Free Republics (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 3 GD 14.333333333333334 SoV 31 SoS
13. Luzvimindia (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 3 GD 12.666666666666666 SoV 26 SoS
14. Neo Lemmitania (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 5 GD 12.333333333333334 SoV 29 SoS
15. Neu Engollon (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 3 GD 12.333333333333334 SoV 29 SoS
16. Sangti (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 5 GD 11.333333333333334 SoV 28 SoS
17. Mizuyuki (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 5 GD 11.333333333333334 SoV 23 SoS
18. Brenecia (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 5 GD 10.333333333333334 SoV 22 SoS
19. Aels (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 3 GD 9.333333333333334 SoV 19 SoS
20. Kikwipeyi (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 1 GD 8.333333333333334 SoV 23 SoS
21. The Fief of Sir Kunne (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 4 GD 8.333333333333334 SoV 19 SoS
22. Speranda (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 3 GD 7.333333333333334 SoV 21 SoS
23. The City of Woe (2-1-1) 7 Pts. -4 GD 7.333333333333333 SoV 19 SoS
24. Qatarus (2-1-1) 7 Pts. 4 GD 5.333333333333334 SoV 16 SoS

25. Metropolis Mania (2-0-2) 6 Pts. 0 GD 14 SoV 33 SoS
26. Chiata (2-0-2) 6 Pts. -1 GD 9 SoV 21 SoS
27. Hontaypyar (2-0-2) 6 Pts. -2 GD 6 SoV 25 SoS
28. Carizzal (2-0-2) 6 Pts. 1 GD 6 SoV 24 SoS
29. Punum (2-0-2) 6 Pts. 0 GD 6 SoV 20 SoS
30. Fristat and Marianopolis (1-3-0) 6 Pts. 3 GD 6 SoV 12 SoS
31. Kalusia (2-0-2) 6 Pts. 3 GD 4 SoV 20 SoS
32. Telnaior (2-0-2) 6 Pts. -1 GD 4 SoV 20 SoS
33. Borealia (2-0-2) 6 Pts. -4 GD 4 SoV 20 SoS
34. Europa Brittania (2-0-2) 6 Pts. 0 GD 4 SoV 16 SoS
35. Kaznan (2-0-2) 6 Pts. 0 GD 4 SoV 14 SoS

36. Tirdarsaor (1-2-1) 5 Pts. 1 GD 6.333333333333334 SoV 19 SoS
37. Subramani (1-2-1) 5 Pts. 0 GD 3.9999999999999996 SoV 11 SoS

38. Mythic Erin (1-1-2) 4 Pts. -4 GD 6.333333333333334 SoV 28 SoS
39. Albaie (1-1-2) 4 Pts. -5 GD 6.333333333333333 SoV 23 SoS
40. Colland (1-1-2) 4 Pts. -7 GD 4.333333333333334 SoV 23 SoS
41. De La Fleur (1-1-2) 4 Pts. -2 GD 3.333333333333333 SoV 20 SoS
42. The Sovan Antithesis (1-1-2) 4 Pts. -4 GD 2.666666666666667 SoV 17 SoS

43. The Fair Republic (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -5 GD 6 SoV 29 SoS
44. Mr Creeper (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -2 GD 6 SoV 28 SoS
45. Tantamir (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -6 GD 6 SoV 24 SoS
46. Bloodridge (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -6 GD 5 SoV 27 SoS
47. Lahoa (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -5 GD 3 SoV 21 SoS
48. Penileanium (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -6 GD 2 SoV 25 SoS
49. Piddlehinton (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -6 GD 0 SoV 23 SoS
50. Soviet New Ireland (1-0-3) 3 Pts. -2 GD 0 SoV 16 SoS

51. Oralana (0-2-2) 2 Pts. -4 GD 2.6666666666666665 SoV 20 SoS
52. Arkolon (0-2-2) 2 Pts. -4 GD 2.6666666666666665 SoV 19 SoS
53. Asasia (0-2-2) 2 Pts. -3 GD 2.3333333333333335 SoV 16 SoS
54. Querria (0-2-2) 2 Pts. -2 GD 1 SoV 13 SoS

55. Lzherusskia (0-1-3) 1 Pts. -6 GD 0.6666666666666666 SoV 21 SoS
56. Joshulia (0-1-3) 1 Pts. -7 GD 0.3333333333333333 SoV 21 SoS
57. TailsPrower (0-1-3) 1 Pts. -9 GD 0.3333333333333333 SoV 19 SoS
58. Phing Phong (0-0-4) 0 Pts. -10 GD 0 SoV 23 SoS

Final Casaran Phase Match Day Fixtures

Nouvel Ecosse v. Nandezia
Mechelen v. Sudagiu
The Greater Archipelago v. Felix
Ethington v. Aquitayne

German-Spanish Empire v. Sondstead
Tasrailia v. The City of Woe
Free Republics v. Qatarus
Luzvimindia v. Speranda

Neo Lemmitania v. The Fief of Sir Kunne
Neu Engollon v. Kikwipeyi
Sangti v. Aels
Mizuyuki v. Brenecia

Metropolis Mania v. Europa Brittania
Chiata v. Borealia
Hontaypyar v. Telnaior
Carizzal v. Kalusia

Punum v. Fristat and Marianopolis
Kaznan v. Tirdarsaor
Subramani v. Mythic Erin
Albaie v. The Sovan Antithesis

Colland v. De La Fleur
The Fair Republic v. Soviet New Ireland
Mr Creeper v. Piddlehinton
Tantamir v. Penileanium

Bloodridge v. Lahoa
Oralana v. Querria
Arkolon v. Asasia
Lzherusskia v. Joshulia
TailsPrower v. Phing Phong

by **Sudagiu** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 7:45 pm

Sudagiu Informative Networks

Sudagiu Draws Greater Archipelago, Qualifies for Championship Stage

Sudagiu 0 - The Greater Archipelago 0

Team	Sudagiu	The Greater Archipelago
Goals Scored	0	0
Shots Total	10	8
Shots on Target	8	7
Yellow Cards	1	1
Red Cards	1	0

The game against The Greater Archipelago was a very defensive one, with both teams staying back to defend, and occasionally send up counterattacks. The game started quite normally, and had no chances until the 18th minute when Rokus Kaluza hit the bar. Gerhard Żuraw scored 5 minutes later, but it was called back for offside. The Greater Archipelago had their first chance in the 53rd minute, and it was nearly a goal, but Harry Borla put the ball wide after a slip from Wilfrið Schmid put the defense wide open. The game was coming to a close, when Marcin Stueck made a rash challenge in his desperation to win, and scythed down Borla as the last man. Stueck saw a straight red card, and that was it for him.

Below are some pictures taken by SIN during Sudagiu's matches.

Our next match is against Mechelen, who are coming off of a 1-0 win over Luzvimindia. Sudagiu is currently 5th in the BoF, while Mechelen are third. Sudagiu are already qualified for the Championship stage.

by **Nandezia** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:12 pm

Nandezia Qualifies for Championship Phase!

With a win over The Free Republics, Nandezia has earned enough points to make it into the Championship phase no matter their next result. After a scary first half, Nandezia pulled it together in the second 45 minutes, and came out with a win over the young and talented Free Republics. The Republicans played a fast and attacking game against the elder Nandezian side, and for awhile, the Canaries seemed to be on the wrong foot. For a span of 10 minutes, the Nandezians never even gained possesion! The first goal of the game was in the Republicans favor, when Cremonesi found space outside the box and curled one into the top corner in the 31st minute. That would be the only goal of the first half.

After half time, the Canaries came out strong and took the game to the Free Republics. Jimeno Moles netted in the 58th minute with a tap in from a low cross by Chevalier. This tie in the game gave momentum to the Tweeties, as they started bringing more men forward with ever possession. Victor Leopold netted from the top of 18 yard box, as his Mjolnir United teammate, Moles, left the ball for him so he could smash it low and into the bottom corner. This lead saw two defensive substitutions. Lothaire came off for Agustin, and Moles came off for Rodolfito. With five at the back, the Nandezian back line wasn't letting anything through. After an attempt at goal by the Free Republics, Agustin fired the ball forward, and as Alban does so well so often, he outsprinted the lonely defender, and chipped the goalie from near the top of the box and into the net.

Final score, 3-1.

Jimeno Moles, the Man of the Match, told NSN this as he was leaving the pitch.

"It's a wonderful feeling! We've earned a spot in the Championship phase, and now we can breathe easy knowing that the next game won't be our last. It always feels good to let a bit of pressure off. But that doesn't mean we won't stop fighting; we always fight."

With 10 points, even if the Canaries lose their next game, they will still have atleast as many points as the 16th place team in the tournament, and thus, qualify for the Championship phase.

Nandezia are currently 2nd in the overall standings, and will play Nouvel Ecosse, who lie in 1st place, and who are the only team in the tournament who has won every game. Surely, both teams will notice that the next result won't eliminate them from the competition, but neither will be resting on their laurels either. Dani Clemente, the Nandezian manager has explicitly stated that even though they have qualified, there will be no room for a lack of focus or drive in the squad. He has guaranteed us, his home nation, and his opponent, that the squad will be going all out to win their final game, and qualify as the 1st placed team.

by **Sangti** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 12:17 am

STALEMATE
Roman Barlaan, El Diario Deportivo del Sangti

Sangti 1 (Utanes 27'), Neu Engollon 1 (Siebech 56')
Baptism of Fire 52 Preliminary Stage
Reporting from Legalese

Sangti missed a chance to improve their chances to qualify for the knockout stages of the Baptism of Fire 52 after a 1-1 stalemate against Neu Engollon here in Legalese. John Utanes' goal in the 27th minute was cancelled out by Erich Siebech in the 56th minute. Both sides had a chance to win but they had to be contented with a draw. While Sangti is currently in the cut-off position (16th), Neu Engollon leapfrog them into 15th due to a better strength of victory (Sangti was a rank higher than Neu Engollon at the end of MD3).

Lineups

SANGTI
1 Navarette ©
2 Bautista
3 Pablo
4 Docdoc
5 Ang (Lampa 77')
6 Calayag
7 Sor (Khan 83')
8 Linsangan
14 Flores
15 Corsiga (Magcaleng 70')
9 Utanes

NEU ENGOLLON
2 Flezgut
5 Fantinelli
8 Rottentuf
9 Schloser
12 DeCienzo (Grosser 84')
14 Labrecq
16 Manion (Hausenbach 65')
18 Grazzani
22 Brenz ©
23 Vuson (Paseult 73')
31 Siebech

Sangti was on the driving seat early on, as attack after attack wear Neu Engollon out, until John Utanes scored the first goal in the 27th minute. And they even had a chance to double the lead through Daren Corsiga, replacing Adrian Magcaleng in the staring lineup. He went though defenders but his curling shot only found the side netting. The first half ended, 1-0.

John Utanes.

The second half was a different story. Neu Engollon was hot out of the gates with chance after chance. They finally got one courtesy of Siebech. She dazzled through the Sangtian defense and shot low out of Williard Navarette's reach. It was 1-1 then, but both sides pushed hard for the winning goal, but no one could score in the last 34 minutes of play. The game ended 1-1 and both teams will be reeling to win in Matchday 5. Sangti faces 19th ranked Aels while Neu Engollon face 20th place Kikwipeyi.

---

In the last matchday, Sangti face Aels in a game which will determine the fate of these two nations. Aels are in good form, having won its two last matches after not scoring in their draw in the first match against Colland and a 0-2 loss against Luzvimindia.

AELS FORM GUIDE
Matchday	Opponent	Result	Scorers
MD1		Colland		D 0-0	--
MD2		Luzvimindia	L 0-2	--
MD3		Oralana		W 3-0	Richard (3)
MD4		Kaznan		W 3-1	??

One man, to watch out for Aels will be Elwyn Richard. He destroyed the Oralana defense with his hattrick in MD3 and he is certainly a man on a mission. Sangti's defenders will have a mouthful of defending to do if they want to keep this talisman out of commission.

This is Jerous Manalo's biggest match to date. As Sangti has a chance to qualify at the last matchday (as it was on the Market Cup), he would not want a repeat of that when the team loses and someone sneaks up to snatch the place for the latter stages if a competition. A loss means packing of bags and going home. Sangti must win. No, Sangti will win.

by **Nouvel Ecosse** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 2:21 am

by **Kalusia** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 3:30 am

The hopes rise!

The Kalusian Team has won their fourth match with 1 - 0 through a goal of Fejîs. The Golden Stripes are now in the 31st position, which, if the group phase would end today, would be very close to granting the team to rumble into the knockout phase. The team hopes that winning the following match will ensure a knockout position accordingly. After the false start with losses against Nandezia and Chiata, the match against TailsPrower was won easily, and this victory against Penileanium makes the knockout phase within smelling range. Therefor, the last match against Carizzal is of great importance to the team. The team is certain of at least finishing this tournament with a golden lining, but reaching the knockout phase would obviously exceed everyone's expectations. However, of course, Kalusia has the best of hopes for reaching the phase, but they are aware that it's not all in their own hands right now. They must win to at least have a shot at reaching the second phase of the tourney. But the football that the team's been showing has been improving steadily, and the hopes of a pretty placing in the end are certainly rising. Mobinôs said the team has a lot of morale for the upcoming match, and that he too believes that winning that game should not by as much of an issue as this game was.
The game against Penileanium started with a dominant period for the opponent team, with very aggressive gameplay and a lot of fouls on either sides. This resulteld in 2 yellow cards, one for Brôntir, one for a Penileanian player to be given out in the first 30 minutes. Starting at the last half of the first half, Kalusia overtook the rule over the field, and kept it after half time, with no goals scored yet, however. But, as the match progressed, Kalusia got a dangerous free kick, taken by Gôjlêv, and headed by Kômôn onto the goalkeeper who couldn't hold it, as Fejîs kicked the rebound in the net. Over the rest of the match, the Golden Stripes dominated, but didn't show much intention of scoring another goal. Mobinôs said about that:''We didn't want to overrule them, just in case we'd go very risky and lose a player to an injury. Last match, the small injury Kômôn had showed us that, if that would've been much worse, unnecessary risks aren't to be taken, especially when you're in the lead. So I told the boys to take it defensively, and they played out the match very nicely. Penileanium next match, and we are ready to take the spotlight and I am hoping that the dice roll just so that we'll advance to the elimination round. That would mean a lot to this team, and a lot to the KFÔN, and would be a very nice way to start out the training for the qualifications for the World Cup, later this season.''

by **Luzvimindia** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 4:12 am

THE SPORTS LOUNGE

Tough loss for Eagles
by: Lorenzo Lozano - 6:50 pm June 9, 2013 (Luzvimindia Time); 10:50 am June 9, 2013 (UTC)

It is said that it is in defeat that the resolve of a team is tested and this defeat is no different. Despite another great effort shown by the Luzvimindia Eagles in their game tonight against Mechelen, it was simply not their night.

As soon as the games began, both teams showed outstanding defensive movements, grinding each other out in the first half. Only a handful of attempts at the goal were taken and by the end of the half the score remained at 0-0. In the locker room, Coach PJ tried once again to change formation from a 4-3-2-1 to a 4-5-1 formation, in the hopes of dislodging the Mechelen defense as well as scramble their offense.

However, in the second half, it backfired. Mechelen forward Wico Brandwijk scored a huge header goal at the 53rd minute, coming from a steal by defender Gerrit van der Berg and a pass from midfielder Mark van Dijk. Coach PJ tried reverting back to the 4-3-2-1 formation, hopefully to give the Eagles a boost in offense but to no avail. By the 70th minute, it was all too clear that Mechelen now had control of the game even with just a 1-0 lead over the Eagles. The Eagle defense held tightly in the closing minutes, preventing anymore goals from Mechelen but Rommel Lim, Julius Rizal and Mateo Garredo were not able to give anything of use tonight and the Mechelen team closes the Eagles out, 1-0, breaking the 2 game winning streak.

In the post-game interview with Coach PJ, he said that the team didn't have it tonight and despite all the efforts of the defense, the offense just slacked. He added that it was a heartbreaking loss but he hopes this will be a learning experience for the team. He is confident that in their next game against Speranda, the team will be able to give their best.

The Eagles' next match will be crucial, according to Coach PJ. It will be a win or go home match for Eagles. Should Luzvimindia lose to Speranda, Luzvimindia will most likely drop out of the championship phase qualifiers while Speranda advances. To make matters a bit worse, Speranda won their previous match against Albaie, 2-0. This will be the toughest match of the team so far in the Baptism of Fire.

Final recap of the score 1-0:

nil - 53' Brandwijk

© National Television Broadcasting Network. June 9, 2013.

by **Neo Lemmitania** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 4:51 am

This is Shemp Wooley, dean of Neo-Lemmitanian Sports, here to tell you about a wonderful new product that I’ve just discovered. Folks, if you’re like me, you live in a house or apartment, or possibly a shack, cave, or just a hole in the ground. But one thing I can guarantee is that your home has floors. Yes, we all have floors, because thanks to gravity, without floors you just fall straight down when you walk in the door. And if there’s one thing I know about floors, it’s that they need waxing. Unwaxed floors are the cause of nearly two-thirds of all floor-related disease transmission, and they’re unsightly, to boot. But I know what you’re asking yourself: “Where do waxed floors come from?” Well relax, Mr. and Ms. Neo-Lemmitania, because now you can get waxed floors in a can from your nearest retailer. Just ask for the latest wonderful product from the genius inventors at the Electric Lemming Corporation: LemmingWax(tm)! It’s the finest floor wax you can buy, procured exclusively from the finest lemmings, scooped and squeezed daily by ELC’s RoundupTrucks. All you have to do is pop open the can and rub the wax thoroughly into the floor with a thick rag (being careful not to come into contact with the wax or any surface it has touched). Before you know it, you too will have beautiful floors worthy of being eaten off of instead of stinky, disease-ridden floors you wouldn’t even let a lemming walk on. LemmingWax! It brings out the shine(tm)!

Hedda: Isn’t that stuff banned?

Shemp: Ha ha! Of course not. Not officially. ELC wouldn’t be pushing a banned product.

Hedda: No, of course not.

Shemp: Folks, welcome back to Shemp’s Corner. Joining me for tonight’s programme is the talented Hedda Lemstrong. Hedda, welcome to the show.

Hedda: Thanks, Shemp. It’s a pleasure to be here, as always.

Shemp: I know you want to spend some time dissecting the NLWBL as things stand at the mid-season mark, but first, international football. Last night the Lemmings faced the Mizuyuki national side in the Baptism of Fire tournament and came away with a one-all draw. Thoughts on the match?

Hedda: Well, first off, I’d like to point out that the Mizuyuki team is primarily female. And they’re playing every bit as well as the Lemmings so far in the tourney. Something the sexist organizers of our national side might want to take into account.

Shemp: Yes, it’s a very fair point. The B.O.F. sides that feature women are playing just as well as the all-male squads. And I don’t doubt that women will be considered for our next World Cup side in four years.

Hedda: Yesterday’s game was a good one. Two evenly-matched teams, certainly. Both sides game in with six points, two wins and a loss, and looking to come out ahead of a very tight field. The Mizuyuki side plays for ball control, and they showed their ability last night. Especially in the first half, it was hard for the Lemmings to get into Mizuyuki territory, and their trio of strikers gave our boys a lot of trouble. I counted six shots on goal in the first, with five saves by Mel Flanders. He did a great job. But Misaki Miyazaki got a shot past him around thirty minutes, and we went into the break down one-nil.

Shemp: The boys in orange looked flustered at the half, but they came back in much better form for the second frame.

Hedda: Yeah, Coach Lemster made some substitution for the second, in particular pulling Bingson and Joey Lemstater in favor of Greg Silsby and Lem Sylvester. Bingson had been the Lemmings’ top goal scorer through the first three matches, but he looked outclassed last night.

Shemp: Lemster played Sylvester as a fourth striker, a very aggressive formation. And it seemed to work. That great ball-control you mentioned was less of an issue in the second.

Hedda: The Lemmings managed a lot more opportunities. I think they managed only one attempt in the first half, but they got four good ones in the second. It was looking like Mizuyuki could hold on to the shutout though. Their keeper, Takanashi, was just as good as Flanders and she kept knocking them down.

Shemp: But eighty minutes in, Silsby made the most of his opportunity and scored his first goal of the tourney.

Hedda: Yeah, that aggressive formation paid off. The Lemmings finally scored with all four strikers pressing the attack. Silsby got a short pass from Henneman in heavy traffic down there in the box, and chipped it past their defender Rikka Suzuki and Takanashi. Well-played.

Shemp: Now, with the draw, the Lemmings, and Mizuyuki, too, are at seven points, which puts them in a huge group of teams on the cusp of advancing. There are fourteen teams with seven, and the way the B.O.F. tourney works, anyone tied on points with the sixteenth-placed team after five matches, advances.

Hedda: It’s an interesting system. Leaves it very much up in the air. Will it take ten points to advance? Only eight?

Shemp: Eight looks likely, though it really is wide open. So next up the Lemmings face The Fief of Sir Kunne, another side in that seven-point group. A win guarantees advancing, a draw will likely get them through.

Hedda: The really interesting thing is not knowing how many teams will advance. While it could be as few as sixteen, more likely it’ll be twenty or more. if the cutoff were today, it’d be 24.

Shemp: Speaking of advancing, the next major football tourney is the World Cup. after the B.O.F. finishes, the qualifying round will get started. And as I mentioned on last week’s show, we’re going to be broadcasting those matches. It’ll be on the Lemming Radio Network, and I’ll be acting as host. And now we’ve got four different pairs under consideration to be the commentators. There’s Dan Lemzig and Ricotta Melmond from Lemvoola; Anders Nilslem and Bobot Chang who call NRL games for Lemmington; the Monday Night Rugby pair, Gil Lemson and Clem Gilson; and you and Lemma Cottington from Thursday Night Basketball.

Hedda: We’re in it to win it, Shemp. Me and Lemma have been talking to the folks at LRN and we’re really hoping to get the nod.

Shemp: I have no say in who gets selected, but I wish you the best of luck. Now a break for an important message, and then we’ll be back to talk basketball.

by **Free Republics** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:28 am

Sporting World

Trolls make me sick
by: Nova Hellstrom

I don't know about you, but I've just about had it with those trolls in the comment section. Is it really necessary to call me a "dumb blonde" on a constant basis? What do any of you little boys know about journalism anyway? You don't have a degree in journalism from Plymouth Republic. You don't know anything about proper journalism in the slightest, yet you feel that you can tell me, a college educated journalist, how to do my job. I resent your mean-spirited antics and I am sick and tired of being bullied by losers that are just afraid of a strong, independent woman like me.

I really set off the basketball fans, all 7 of them, by writing in my match recap yesterday that basketball players aren't real athletes. I stand by that statement. Basketball is a silly sport where freakishly large men jump into the air and stick an orange ball into a basket that is hanging in front of a board. It is as lame and boring as it sounds. Basketball games may be interesting if you like seeing points scored, but the "sport" is a farce. Its just a bunch of running back and forth. The lamest part of every basketball game is at the end when basketball players just foul each other intentionally, and basketball fouls are some of the silliest in all of sports, because it is in the interest of a basketball team that is losing to purposely concede foul shot opportunities to their opposition. What kind of sport is that?

I also upset the baseball fans by calling their favorite sport "arcane" and "boring," but its rules are arcane and it is the most boring sport in the world to watch, besides maybe that floor sweeping "sport" from the Winter Olympics or that "sport" where 2 fat guys try to push each other out of a circle. Come to think of it, Floor Sweeping and Tub of War are so bad, they're even worse than baseball. Still, baseball is pretty bad. Baseball players swing a stick to hit a ball. Most of the time, they fail to do that. It is just a terribly boring sport where nothing ever happens. The only redeeming part of it is that some of the baseball players are hot, but not so much anymore now that I know that there is a gay guy playing baseball.

Speaking of the gays, I seem to have upset the LGBTQXYZABC-Who-Gives-a community. Can't you people just leave the rest of us alone and keep that stuff to yourselves? I have no problem with gays. I have a problem with you militant trolls that have to shove your abnormality down our throats. I was taught at Petrograd Christian School that what you do is a sin and I'm sure that it is, in God's eyes. Still, I don't care. If you think it is fun to let another guy give it to you up the behind, good for you. Just don't subject me to it. I don't like it and I don't want to have to think about that disgusting subject.

As you know, yesterday Mr. Theriault's team was defeated by Nandezia 3 goals to 1. Nandezia is a nation that has organized their own regional soccer league and they are apparently the premier nation in their region. I am not in the mood to cover the match today, but basically Leo Cremonesi scored early and the FFR blew the lead in the 2nd half. I talked to Mr. Theriault and he told me, "I was trying for an additional goal and resisted making defensive substitutions even though I should have done so. My gut told me to pull 2 of the strikers and replace them with center backs, but I went against my gut and we lost." I don't feel like talking about that match when the trolls are driving me crazy.

Anyway, I've seen a number of trolls, with IP address from Brenecia, claiming that I am an "idiot" and worse because I keep pointing out that New Sideburn has illegally entered the Baptism of Fire a second time, under the thinly veiled guise of Brenecia. That's why Brenecia slipped out of the land where legalese was invented in the middle of the night last night. They had to return to New Sideburn to play Saintland in that Strongnesse Cup thingy they hold every year. Trust me, I will be proven correct later today when they, being too exhausted to compete at a high level, lose to Mizuyuki.

That brings me to the subject of one Steven Smith from a country called Felix. Yes, some little insignificant country actually calls itself that. He actually called upon Sporting World to fire me. My editor told me just yesterday over the telephone that he is proud of my work. I am Sporting World's lead reporter for international soccer and my boss likes me. I'm not going anywhere, so keep on hating. Apparently, Mr. Smith thinks my patriotism is a bad thing and he actually doesn't realize that Republican athletes are superior to foreign athletes. We're so far ahead that we would blow out every opponent in each of our 3 major sports if we sent our best athletes. By the way, I stand by my statement that Esportiva is a backward region because Esportiva is a backward region. Recently, those conniving globalists at the WA came out with a list of strongest economies in Esportiva and New Sideburn was actually in the top 10! New Sideburn is, for my readers that are unaware, a communistic nation. Some of the Brenecian fans told me that, so it must be true. Afterall, they know their country better than I do. If commies are among your region's top 10 economic powers, either your region is very tiny or your region is a backward region. I will not apologize to the nations of Esportiva because Esportiva is a backward region that isn't very good at running their economies or playing soccer.

Most disgusting of all was the allegation by Steven Smith, Felix's incompetent reporter, that I am having an affair with Mr. Theriault. What kind of woman does he think I am? I resent being called a slut in a foreign magazine. He must have gotten that idea from some of those sick trolls in the comment section. I can't count how many of them have impugned my virtue by alleging that I am carrying on an affair. You're fortunate that Plymouth does not have their laws against impugning the virtue of a woman on the books any longer. If they did, you stupid trolls would be looking at a lawsuit for every penny that you and your parents are worth. For the last time, I have never had intercourse with Mr. Theriault. He is a friend and nothing more than that. Is there something wrong with a journalist being friends with a man who she frequently covers as part of her job? I learned at Plymouth Republic that such relationships are normal, so I'm not ashamed of being Mr. Theriault's friend. We are just friends and nothing more than that, so get your heads out of the gutter and stop lying about me.

Now that all of that has been addressed, I wish to remind you that the final match of the Casaran stage is tomorrow. Qatarus is a nation from a large region named Mordor. Mordor is not known for their sporting prowess, so I doubt that Qatarus is any good. They sound like some little insignificant country from the middle of nowhere. After Mr. Theriault's Republicans beat Qatarus, they will clinch a spot in the next round. That is the first step toward winning the Baptism of Fire and proving Republican superiority. FFR! FFR! FFR! I look forward to describing our great victory to you tomorrow, but until then remember this: Trolling is for pathetic losers. If you troll girls you don't know on the Internet, you will never find and keep a girlfriend, so stop trolling now.

Nova Hellstrom is an young sports journalist, just out of journalism school. She got her start covering high school soccer for the Petrograd Times. At one time, she played girls soccer for Petrograd Christian School. She was recently discovered by Sporting World and was previously assigned to cover the 27th Di Bradini Cup. By request of Rule Theriault, she will be recapping FFR matches from the Baptism of Fire.

by **Sondstead** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 2:07 pm

BoF 52: Odds improving for Sondstead after strong victory
2–0 victory over Chiata; fans and team in high spirits, expect Sondstead to make the championship stage

9 June 2013

_{Jen Weäldrberg celebrates after scoring the first goal of the night.}

Legalese — With last night's clean sheet victory over Chiata, Sondstead has now broken into the top ten in the Casaran rankings, and after two strong victories hopes are running high for Sondstead to advance past the Casaran stage of the tournament.

With the team once again adopting a more offence-oriented 4-3-3 formation with Mark Rikjardssunr filling in for E̊sbjus Hwitrländer and Jöhän Winter substituting for Mihäel Hömmel on the midfield, the game started off with a strong Sondsteadish offence, but one which smashed up against Chiata's defensive focus and 5-3-2 formation. It took nearly half an hour of back and forth before Jen Weäldrberg scored at 22 minutes in, after which Chiata subbed in Nate Seal for defender Keo Yales. As he did the night before, Agócs got into the zone quickly and stole the show on defence, despite several close calls from Chiata forwards Sammy Swade and Joe Ringer-Toso.

Just before halftime, Sondstead scored a second goal at 39 minutes courtesy of Karl Sude̊rman, entering halftime at what would ultimately be the game's final score of two nil. As they had the night before, the team came back out in their traditional 4-4-2 diamond formation, with Kalju Rummo returning to the bench and Möhmet Dale̊r being brought out onto the midfield, while Chiata benched Ringer-Toso in favour of Rick Vickerson. The focus for Sondstead switched to holding on to the lead in the second half.

The Sondsteadish defence remained strong, with Agócs, Eskola, and Rikjardssunr continuing to work like clockwork. Äster Bage̊r-Lusjanssunr, however, suffered a broken nose from headbutt gone awry at 62 minutes and was replaced by Durante Abandonato. Following the resumption of play, Gamal Karimi fouled Chiata midfielder Kay Granger at 64 minutes, with the referee granting Chiata direct free kick which was taken by Swade. Adam Edelwülfssünr however was able to just barely block the ball, keeping the score at two nil. The back and forth continued straight up to full time, with a valiant attempt by Swade to score almost reaching it's mark at 89 minutes, finishing the game with a dramatic but ultimately unsuccessful flourish.

Tonight Sondstead will face the German-Spanish Empire in the final matchday of the Casaran stage of the tournament. The German-Spanish team is ranked eighth, immediately ahead of Sondstead, and the game's outcome could determine which team advances past the Casaran stage.

Comment or read more at www.srrsondsteadworld.org

by **Tirdarsaor** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 2:47 pm

Kilgall Free Press

First Win For Fighting Celts

Tirdarsaor have picked up their first win in international football, defeating Asasia by two goals to nil to leave a glimmer of hope in the minds of their fans.

Faolán Mac Maol Dáire told journalists before the match that he would be telling his team to "go out there and enjoy themselves", and that they "shouldn't take the match too seriously". Although it was clear from the start that the team had taken their manager's advice to heart, something else was also clear; that there was a divide in the Tirdarsaor team. One section of the team seemed to gravitate around the captain, Éanna Ó Cadhla, while the other half seemed to follow the young starlet, Oisín Mac Conchobhar.

It didn't seem to matter, however, that there was a divide in the team, as the Fighting Celts were dominant for the majority of the game, and it took only fifteen minutes for Mac Maol Dáire's side to take the lead. Aodhán Ó Domhnaill, who has had a rather nondescript tournament so far, made a cracking run down the right wing, and swung in a cross that was met by the powerful head of Éanna Ó Cadhla. He neglected to remove his shirt for any controversial political statements this time around, simply high fiving the teammates that crowded around him at the corner flag; though not all of them joined Ó Cadhla in celebration.

After an end to the first half that saw not many chances, but large amounts of possession for a dominant Tirdarsaor side. It didn't take long after the break for them to convert that pressure. Liam Ó Raghallaigh, the team's free kick specialist, delivered a curling strike from about thirty yards out, leaving the stretched out keeper on the ground, wondering about how the hell the thirty year old had beaten him so comprehensively. After the game played to a surprisingly subdued conclusion, Tirdarsaoran fans invaded the pitch, showing that they really believed that their team was in with a shot at qualifying for the knockout stage.

With Tirdarsaor playing Kaznan in the next round, they have to hope that they win, and a lot of teams ahead of them lose or draw. With the nature of this system, qualification for the Fighting Celts isn't very likely; but they will give it a good shot, that is for sure.

by **Neu Engollon** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 3:37 pm

TELLEURSVILLE TIMES

SPORTS IN THE CONFEDERACY

Chances? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Chances

By Jean Marc Charjan

A tie with Sangti has kept Neu Engollon from improving its chances in the Baptism of Fire, but held off a worse drop in rankings that a sure substantial loss would have invoked. A goal by Siebach and stepped up play for the second half postponed disaster, but lack of a following goal to put the Goats over Sangti's score by Utanes put to rest any hope of a win. The Goats are trying hard to get back to their original momentum, but seem stalled at driving forward and upward in the rankings. Unfamiliar with this style of tournament and forming a strategy around it, the Neu Engollon National football squad seems to be continuing their downward spiral. Like the multitude of fans at home, I plead and pray that things can turn around for the Goats and they can pull off at least a couple more victories before elimination. More miraculous things have happened.
***

by **Speranda** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 4:56 pm

Sperandans look forward to crucial match
After fighting for a 2-0 victory against Albaie, Speranda is set for a all or nothing match against Luzvimindia. Speranda currently sits in position to qualify. After tonight, those on par with the 16th team pass through to a play-offs, and Speranda currently sits in a group of 14 teams tied for 11th. This means that a draw would likely be insufficient, although possible if enough of the cusp teams also lost or draw. It would be unwise, however, to count on it. Speranda is undergoing some changes after last match, and is starting Adrian Wyndam-Pryce in place of Bennett Winston, who had a slight ankle injury in the 85th minute of the last match. "We will likely rotate Bennett in, depending on how he is feeling," assistant coach Albert Harris told the press this afternoon. "We can't say for sure as of right now, but he should definitely be aright by the play-offs, if we find our way there.

Even if they do not, the Sperandan team has put together a respectable showing, currently going 2-1-1, a much needed improvement on the 0-3-3 record that they had posted before they arrived. More needed, they have generated significant press, and are optimistic about recruiting a number of good players before the qualification for the world cup begins. Winston's ankle injury was a warning of what could happen if injury did strike, as the lack of depth on the Sperandan squad might not be able to handle it.

by **Aels** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 5:01 pm

THE BLITZ: The Report's smaller sibling
Huw Price in Legalese

Kaznan dispatched easily; Sangti await in qualification showdown

Kaznan 1
Aels 3

IT COULD all end tomorrow night. That's the stark reality facing Aels and their Baptism of Fire campaign after they were drawn to face Sangti in a must-win match for both sides in the final round of preliminary matches.

And that will overshadow the fact that Aels, helped by two goals from Bryn Thomas and one from Ciarán O'Connor, easily saw off Kaznan yesterday for a second consecutive competitive win.

What it means is Aels are now on seven points and joint-11th in the standings. All teams level with the 16th placed team will qualify for the second phase of this BoF, the first not to use a group-stage format in recent memory. And with the next set of teams above Aels on nine points, both teams know a draw will likely not be enough, while a defeat would all but guarantee elimination.

Sergyei Arefev is due to hold a press conference soon – news to come from that.

by **Brenecia** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 5:21 pm

Violence Hangover
Rowan's head hurt.
"Where am I?" he groaned, rubbing at his scalp. To his surprise, there seemed to be a scab there.
"Home. Where else would I take you?" Evan Mercer, his partner. And he looked like he was pouring out a drink.
"A bloody hospital, maybe? Fuck, I dunno, I was out the moment I hit the ground."
"I saw Garrett Penny leave," growled Evan. He was considering retirement now after striking big on the stock market, but he'd spent the last 25 years a sergeant on the police force. Tall, broad-shouldered and built from lean muscle, he wasn't someone you wanted to cross. "Should've strangled him with his own bloody tie, but I didn't know what'd happened to you until I came in. So it was him, then?"
"Yeah, but don't arrest him. Please. I'd like to deal with this myself." Evan profferred a drink, which Rowan took and drained gratefully. "Damn! That's the stuff, alright. ... Fuck, I'd better get into work, hadn't I?"
Evan sighed. "Not in this condition. I called in sick on your behalf."
"But I can't just-"
"No buts, Rowan. If you don't want me to arrest this bastard, the least you can do is let yourself heal properly."
Rowan sighed, and fell back onto the bed. "Yeah. I guess. But I'll have to settle it sooner or later."
"Settle it when you aren't bleeding from the scalp."

Bad Blood
"You're late, Row-" Trish paused, and stared closer for a minute. "Mate, what's up with your face?"
"Don't worry about it," snapped Rowan. A day's rest he'd accepted, but he wasn't going to miss any actual commentary.
"Well, alright..."
"Garrett ain't here," said an unfamiliar face but a very familiar voice. Rowan blinked a couple times.
"Brinemouth's exuberant PA guy!" he blurted out. The man laughed richly. The Sideburnese weren't judgemental about failing to put names to faces.
"That's right," he said, proferring a hand. "Vance Strachan." He had a fine head of sandy blond hair, a lantern jawline and shiny grey eyes. His handshake was firm, and his voice was strong and stemmed from a sturdy diaphragm. "The Strongnesse Trophy's just coming up in five minutes. You ready, champ?"
"Uh... yeah, I guess so."
"We've just done the Brenecia tweets section," said Trish. "Well, tweet. Vince Riggs was... very caps lock about recent accusations of Brenecia being the same as New Sideburn. He took particular exception to a certain accusation that he was actually Lucia Oakwood."
"Doesn't Riggs have a beard?"
"Yes."
Rowan shook his head. Journalism these days...
The time came.
"Welcome to Hazard Sports' coverage of the strongnesse Trophy!" boomed Vance. "Here's guest commentator Vance Strachan standing in for Garrett Penny, with me the lovely Trish Lensflare to comment on the inevitable fouling and Rowan Pendragon to make up the numbers! And yes, the lineups are just coming in now..."

"Interesting selections, with Bramwell and Parrett on the wings... Parrett's first cap, actually," murmurred Rowan.
"Still, a solid lineup, to be certain!" boomed Vance. "Now... kickoff."

First Blood
"Oakwood plays it out to Bramwel- jesus christ!"
To say that Paulus Flaccus 'clattered' Ella Bramwell would be missing a great opportunity to use the word 'slammed'. Bramwell fell arse over tit, and lay on the ground for a while, blinking.
"Right, that's unsurprisingly a yellow card from the ref," said Trish, blandly. When Rowan stared at her, she shrugged. "It's the Strongnesse Trophy! If we sent off every one of these challenges I don't think we'd have enough for a 5v5 by the end!"
"Fair point, Trish, fair point," he sighed. But still... four minutes in?

Second Blood
"Aha! Cathy Stokes showing some good Sideburnese steel there to show the poncey Latin gits what for!"
Trish glared at Vance. "Aren't we meant to be impartial?"
"Do you really think Saintland fans are gonna be tuning into the station, love?" drawled Vance. "I was Brinemouth's shouter for 17 years, I think I know how to preach to the choir."
Rowan sighed. "Guys, leave it for off-tape. Please."

Third Blood
"What? That wasn't a yellow. Was that a yellow?"
"Yes," said Trish, flatly.
"Well, I don't think it was a yellow." Vance crossed his arms. "Just because you put your shoulder into the goalkeeper's throat during a corner..."
Rowan sighed. This was at the eleven minute mark.

Fourth Blood
"Neat play from Thunder to Brightley, Brightley whips it to Lockdown, chested to her WHAT WAS THAT? Bloody hell, these Saintland bastards are bloody rough."
"I thought they couldn't stand up to dead hard Sideburnese mettle?"
Vance glared at Trish. Rowan hurriedly interjected; "Right, so a free kick just outside the area, then..."

Subtle
"Saintland, without a leg to stand on, seem to be content pinging the ball forward to Vagonius and the prince," said Vance, cockily.
"And let me guess, here's Lucia Oakwood with a fine long drive to Gerhard Thunder, showing her consummate ease in possession?"
"Couldn't've said it better myself, my girl."

Breakthrough
Catiotus was playing like a man with something else weighing on his mind. He seemed almost under pressure even when nobody was nearby.
That was probably why, when Gerhard Thunder ran directly at him, he panicked and sent the clearance into Thunder's shins.
Unsurprisingly, this worked out poorly.
"INCREDIBLE PLAY FROM THUNDER!" bellowed Vance. "He's through against Seius! He's in... YES! GET IN THERE! GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!"
"Christing hell..." muttered Trish, unheard.
"Thunder put Catiotus under intense pressure!" shouted Rowan. "He's done the hard bit, only the keeper to beat, Seius does well to come out early but it's just slid under him neatly, great finesse for a big lad like Gerd, and yes, there he is, swamped by his mates after the go-ahead goal in the 61st... bloody hell, I need a drink."

The Strongnesse Drinking Game
The Strongnesse drinking game is simple.

Step 1) Watch the Strongnesse Trophy match.
Step 2) Take a shot for every goalline scrap
Step 3) Take a shot for every foul.
Step 4) Take three shots for every caution.
Step 5) Finish your bottle for every red card.
Step 6) For the love of God do not play this game with any form of spirits.

'Ere We Go
"And victory to New Sideburn!" roared Vance after the six minutes of injury time had faded out. "A deserved win for the hosts and favourites, and I don't think you could take anything away from this complete victory..."
"Lockdown's taking a fractured rib away from this complete victory."
"She'll be right," said Vance dismissively. "Anyway, it's been a real delight; this has been me, Vance Strachan, her, Trish Lensflare, and that, Rowan Pendragon!"
"So what's happened with Garrett Penny?" asked Rowan, when the transmission was cut.
"Arrested for driving drunk on the speedways, wasn't he?" said Vance, before shrugging. "Well, he wasn't that great anyway. Can't say he'll be missed, because I'm loving taking his place!"
Rowan paused, then shrugged and drained his whiskey glass. Maybe karma really did exist...

by **Felix** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 6:01 pm

52nd Baptism of Fire: Felix Wins Again

By: Steven Smith

Felix beats the hopeful Metropolis Mania, with the score of 1 goal to nil. Felix is currently number 6 in the Casaran Phase. The rule is that the top 16 teams make it to the playoff round, so if the playoffs were to start today we would be facing Tasrailia, a fellow Esportivian nation. But we won't face them, at least not yet, next week we face 4th placed The Greater Archipelago, we will get to that match later. Here was the summary of the first half of play in the Felix - Metropolis Mania game.

The first half was all good for Felix as they dominated possession and was mainly on the side of Metropolis Mania. Felix attempted a shot at goal first in the 12th minute but missed as Mikel just over shot it. 8 minutes later Mikel tried to shoot again but the shot was blocked by a defender at the last second. Felix got a scare as MM scored but the play was called offsides and wasn't counted. Felix breathed a sigh of relief. Eleven minutes later Felix almost got the lead with a shot by Lee, but that was blocked by the MM goalkeeper. Felix would end up tying the first half zero to zero.

The second half was a continuation of the first half as Felix continued to dominate the match and tried to score more goals but those shots were either blocked or hit the crossbar. The best chance Felix got was in the 68th minute with a shot from Salazar, he was substituted in for Lee as Lee twisted his ankle earlier in the match. It wasn't till the 86th minute that Felix finally took the lead and won the match with a great goal from Mikel Abaroa. Felixian players dogpiled on to Abaroa, celebrating the close win Felix had. Felix wins it 1-0.

The post game news conference was all smiles and clear sign of relief that Felix won. Cardona, told that they won against a great team and either team deserved the win today. Felix faces off against The Greater Archipelago next week. They are currently fourth in the standings and a win against them could put us in a great position to get to the very top of the standings and face a lower seed opponent. Good luck to all of our boys and go Felix

As always here were the stats for today's game.

Goals
(86th): Mikel Abaroa (FEL)
Assists
N/A
Possession
FEL: 51%
MM: 49%
Fouls
FEL: 7
MM: 8
Cards
Yellow: N/A
Red: N/A
Injuries
N/A

Now here are the statistics for the whole tournament so far.

Goals
Yun Dong Lee (3)
Mikel Abaroa (2)
Eutimio Salazar (1)
Assists
Mikel Abaroa (1)
Ziya Saqqaf (1)
Felix Pier (1)
Clean Sheets
Viggo Tyko (4)
Yellow Cards
N/A
Red Cards
N/A
Injury List
N/A

----

52nd Baptism of Fire: Nova Hellstorm (Part II)

By: Steven Smith

Some insignificant nation? I laugh at her allegations that Felix, is one, Felix has a strong history of being a game changer to the world. Unlike the selfish nation that is the Free Republics... And she calls me a incompetent reporter, too? Why does she look at the mirror first? She didn't report a bloody thing about her precious FFR loosing to Nandezia (nice job by the way). Its funny how she thinks the FFR is so superior to all other nations. I would love to see the most "premiere" club teams face off with the national team. Those teams are pathetic to watch and I've seen it all. I have seen better football from U-15 boys than those pompous chaps in the FFR. If they are so damn great, why don't you send them to the world? Make the world tremble in their supposed "greatness"? But they won't because they know that they are just a bunch of overrated blowhards.

And once again she throws crap at other sports, mainly Basketball and Baseball. While I may not be a fan of Baseball, that's a sport that has a culture, a way of life, and this so called, "best reporter in Sporting World has to offer" can't recognize that because she has grown up in a ignorant country. And she continues the assault on Felix claiming that the top countries in Esportiva are "Communist". Maybe she should learn something about economics before she starts blabbering bullshit facts. Now its true that most of the top 10 economies in Esportiva are left-leaning but they support the free market, while I disagree with their tax policy, they have powerful economies. And finally she makes the comment about gay people. Unbelievable, she is worse than Felipe Cruz, a far-right Conservative Party Politian, that said many offensive remarks about the gays.

In summary the Sporting World newspaper is blind and deaf, they won't recognize the lack of skill Ms. (or Mrs. should I say when she marries that head coach of the FFR national team) Hellstrom. And that's because the country itself, has no culture of writing and doesn't know how to recognize failures at it. I feel sorry for the readers there, that won't find out about their national team because Ms. Hellstrom is out drinking and not reporting. Oh well, at least I know how to do my job and at least my readers now what they want. A good quality reporter that loves the game and doesn't play around with a national team coach.

by **Legalese** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 6:22 pm

Match Day Five Results
Nouvel Ecosse 1 - 3 Nandezia
Mechelen 0 - 1 Sudagiu

The Greater Archipelago 1 - 0 Felix
Ethington 1 - 0 Aquitayne

German-Spanish Empire 1 - 3 Sondstead
Tasrailia 0 - 0 The City of Woe

Free Republics 1 - 1 Qatarus
Luzvimindia 2 - 1 Speranda

Neo Lemmitania 0 - 0 The Fief of Sir Kunne
Neu Engollon 0 - 2 Kikwipeyi

Sangti 0 - 1 Aels
Mizuyuki 0 - 0 Brenecia

Metropolis Mania 1 - 0 Europa Brittania
Chiata 2 - 0 Borealia

Hontaypyar 0 - 0 Telnaior
Carizzal 0 - 4 Kalusia

Punum 1 - 1 Fristat and Marianopolis
Kaznan 0 - 2 Tirdarsaor

Subramani 1 - 1 Mythic Erin
Albaie 1 - 0 The Sovan Antithesis

Colland 0 - 2 De La Fleur
The Fair Republic 0 - 1 Soviet New Ireland

Mr Creeper 2 - 2 Piddlehinton
Tantamir 1 - 0 Penileanium

Bloodridge 0 - 1 Lahoa
Oralana 3 - 2 Querria

Arkolon 0 - 1 Asasia
Lzherusskia 2 - 2 Joshulia
TailsPrower 1 - 0 Phing Phong

Final Casaran Tables

1. Nandezia (4-1-0) 13 Pts. 8 GD 40.333333333333336 SoV 47 SoS
2. Sudagiu (4-1-0) 13 Pts. 10 GD 31.333333333333332 SoV 40 SoS
3. The Greater Archipelago (4-1-0) 13 Pts. 8 GD 30.333333333333332 SoV 39 SoS

4. Nouvel Ecosse (4-0-1) 12 Pts. 6 GD 31 SoV 44 SoS
5. Sondstead (4-0-1) 12 Pts. 5 GD 30 SoV 37 SoS
6. Ethington (4-0-1) 12 Pts. 10 GD 29 SoV 42 SoS

7. Mechelen (3-1-1) 10 Pts. 4 GD 29.666666666666668 SoV 48 SoS
8. Luzvimindia (3-1-1) 10 Pts. 4 GD 26.666666666666668 SoV 42 SoS
9. Felix (3-1-1) 10 Pts. 5 GD 20.333333333333332 SoV 42 SoS
10. Aels (3-1-1) 10 Pts. 4 GD 19.333333333333332 SoV 32 SoS
11. Kikwipeyi (3-1-1) 10 Pts. 3 GD 16.666666666666668 SoV 32 SoS

12. Metropolis Mania (3-0-2) 9 Pts. 1 GD 22 SoV 41 SoS
13. German-Spanish Empire (3-0-2) 9 Pts. 3 GD 21 SoV 46 SoS
14. Chiata (3-0-2) 9 Pts. 1 GD 19 SoV 34 SoS
15. Aquitayne (3-0-2) 9 Pts. 4 GD 14 SoV 38 SoS
16. Kalusia (3-0-2) 9 Pts. 7 GD 13 SoV 35 SoS
--Cutoff Point--
17. Free Republics (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 3 GD 21 SoV 46 SoS
18. Tasrailia (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 2 GD 20.333333333333336 SoV 44 SoS
19. Brenecia (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 5 GD 17 SoV 37 SoS
20. Tirdarsaor (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 3 GD 16.666666666666668 SoV 35 SoS
21. Neo Lemmitania (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 5 GD 16.333333333333332 SoV 39 SoS
22. Mizuyuki (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 5 GD 14.333333333333332 SoV 33 SoS
23. The City of Woe (2-2-1) 8 Pts. -4 GD 13.333333333333332 SoV 34 SoS
24. The Fief of Sir Kunne (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 4 GD 11 SoV 30 SoS
25. Qatarus (2-2-1) 8 Pts. 4 GD 8.333333333333332 SoV 28 SoS

26. Neu Engollon (2-1-2) 7 Pts. 1 GD 16.333333333333332 SoV 43 SoS
27. Hontaypyar (2-1-2) 7 Pts. -2 GD 14.333333333333334 SoV 38 SoS
28. Punum (2-1-2) 7 Pts. 0 GD 14.333333333333334 SoV 35 SoS
29. Albaie (2-1-2) 7 Pts. -4 GD 14.333333333333334 SoV 34 SoS
30. Sangti (2-1-2) 7 Pts. 4 GD 13.333333333333334 SoV 40 SoS
31. Fristat and Marianopolis (1-4-0) 7 Pts. 3 GD 13.333333333333334 SoV 28 SoS
32. Speranda (2-1-2) 7 Pts. 2 GD 11.666666666666666 SoV 36 SoS
33. Telnaior (2-1-2) 7 Pts. -1 GD 9.333333333333334 SoV 30 SoS
34. De La Fleur (2-1-2) 7 Pts. 0 GD 8.333333333333334 SoV 31 SoS

35. Kaznan (2-0-3) 6 Pts. -2 GD 10 SoV 32 SoS
36. Subramani (1-3-1) 6 Pts. 0 GD 9.666666666666666 SoV 22 SoS
37. Carizzal (2-0-3) 6 Pts. -3 GD 9 SoV 42 SoS
38. Lahoa (2-0-3) 6 Pts. -4 GD 9 SoV 29 SoS
39. Tantamir (2-0-3) 6 Pts. -5 GD 9 SoV 29 SoS
40. Borealia (2-0-3) 6 Pts. -6 GD 6 SoV 35 SoS
41. Europa Brittania (2-0-3) 6 Pts. -1 GD 6 SoV 33 SoS
42. Soviet New Ireland (2-0-3) 6 Pts. -1 GD 3 SoV 24 SoS

43. Mythic Erin (1-2-2) 5 Pts. -4 GD 8.666666666666666 SoV 41 SoS
44. Oralana (1-2-2) 5 Pts. -3 GD 6 SoV 30 SoS
45. Asasia (1-2-2) 5 Pts. -2 GD 5.666666666666667 SoV 25 SoS

46. Colland (1-1-3) 4 Pts. -9 GD 8.333333333333334 SoV 38 SoS
47. Mr Creeper (1-1-3) 4 Pts. -2 GD 7.333333333333333 SoV 35 SoS
48. The Sovan Antithesis (1-1-3) 4 Pts. -5 GD 4 SoV 28 SoS
49. Piddlehinton (1-1-3) 4 Pts. -6 GD 1.3333333333333333 SoV 30 SoS
50. TailsPrower (1-1-3) 4 Pts. -8 GD 0.6666666666666666 SoV 24 SoS

51. The Fair Republic (1-0-4) 3 Pts. -6 GD 9 SoV 42 SoS
52. Bloodridge (1-0-4) 3 Pts. -7 GD 6 SoV 36 SoS
53. Penileanium (1-0-4) 3 Pts. -7 GD 2 SoV 35 SoS

54. Arkolon (0-2-3) 2 Pts. -5 GD 3 SoV 31 SoS
55. Joshulia (0-2-3) 2 Pts. -7 GD 2 SoV 26 SoS
56. Lzherusskia (0-2-3) 2 Pts. -6 GD 1.3333333333333333 SoV 23 SoS
57. Querria (0-2-3) 2 Pts. -3 GD 1.3333333333333333 SoV 20 SoS

58. Phing Phong (0-0-5) 0 Pts. -11 GD 0 SoV 35 SoS

With exactly sixteen teams finishing at nine points or higher, allow me to introduce the teams advancing to the Championship Phase:

1. Nandezia
2. Sudagiu
3. The Greater Archipelago
4. Nouvel Ecosse
5. Sondstead
6. Ethington
7. Mechelen
8. Luzvimindia
9. Felix
10. Aels
11. Kikwipeyi
12. Metropolis Mania
13. German-Spanish Empire
14. Chiata
15. Aquitayne
16. Kalusia

As such, we shall advance directly to the Round of 16, to begin on Tuesday evening, with the following fixtures:

Matches in Legalese (Cutoff Time: 9 PM EDT)

Nandesia v. Kalusia (@ Caerangelion)

Luzvimindia v. Felix (@ Carter Stadium)

Nouvel Ecosse v. German-Spanish Empire (@ Mallaber International Pitch)

Sondstead v. Metropolis Mania (@ Roberts' Field)

Matches in Kinitaria (Cutoff Time: 6 PM EDT)

Sudagiu v. Aquitayne

Mechelen v. Aels

The Greater Archipelago v. Chiata

Ethington v. Kikwipeyi

by **Nandezia** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 7:16 pm

Nandezia are First Heading into the Round of 16!

The Nandezian national team was ecstatic after their 3-1 defeat over Nouvel Ecosse. This win moved them into first place throughout the whole tournament as they qualified for the Round of 16. With the team already qualified heading into this match, Clemente made some pre game changes to the starting lineup, to give the starters some rest. He started the following lineup:

GK Desi Tono (c)
DF Timoteo Coupe
DF Serge Rey
DF Seve Rodolfito
DF Sergio Soucy
MD Leon Lothaire
MD Caro Agustin
MD Matias Aquino
FW Adan Dupont
FW Paris Raymundo
FW Jimeno Moles

As the game began, there was a sense of complacency from both teams; neither team seemed to be going all out. However, after 22 minutes, Caro Agustin, the young midfielder struck for Nandezia from a free kick 20 yards out. Agustin used trickery as he snuck the ball under the jumping wall and into the net before the goalie even noticed the ball had flown by. The rest of the first half was back and forth, with neither team threatening much.

The second half saw an offensive push Nouvel Ecosse, which left them open in the back. On two counter attacks, one in the 67th minute, and one in the 69th minute, Paris Raymundo, the usual substitute striker netted with fancy footwork and well placed shots against the goalie and the struggling defense.

With a 3-0 lead, Clemente made two substitions, one in the 73rd, and one in the 79th, just to solidify the freshness of the players. Lothaire came off for Vipond, and Soucy came off for Ramirez. However, the defensive strategy ended in a nice volley from Curt Lafleur off of a corner kick in the 86th minute. The goal didn't mean much for the scoreline, but it certainly gave Nouvel Ecosse life.

However, the game ended 3-1, and the Canaries celebrated as they earned the number 1 seed in the Round of 16.

Paris Raymundo told us that he didn't feel like he deserved the "Man of the Match" award. He wished that the entire team could be given the award for their resounding vigilance and tenacity throughout the tournament so far.

After a short rest, Nandezia will face Kalusia in the Round of 16 at Caerangelion in Numalia, Legalese. Nandezia has already faced Kalusia in the tournament, defeating them 4-1 in their first international game at Parc Četatii in Kinitaria.

Dani Clemente spoke with NSN after the game. When asked how he felt about normal subs such as Raymundo and Agustin making it into the starting squad, he responded:

"My gut tells me to stick with the team that beat Kalusia before. Although we beat them 4-1, anything can happen in this tournament, and we won't be taking any chances we don't have too. We plan to take the game to Kalusia, but we must remain smart. We are the Number 1 seed, which means, that now, this tournament is ours to lose. We must remain as passionate as we have been, and play every game as if it's our last."

The Nandezian team will hold a short practice during the break to keep their legs fresh, and when they walk onto the pitch against Kalusia, it's do or die, and Clemente assures Nandezia that the Canaries will never, ever, back down, or give up.

by **Sangti** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 10:08 pm

DE JA VU
Roman Barlaan, El Diario Deportivo del Sangti

Sangti players as they are out of the Baptism of Fire.

Sangti 0, Aels 1 (Richard 90')
Preliminary Round, Baptism of Fire 52
Reporting from Legalese

Remember Market Cup VI? The last matchday was Sangti vs Gaveo, with Sangti knowing a win would send them into the knockout phases of the competition. At Matchday 3 then they beat Gaveo 2-1 to take control of Group H. However, 2 draws and a loss in Matchday 6 made the puny GSE overtake Sangti and throw them out of the competition.

It happened, again.

For 89 minutes, Sangti had still a chance to secure qualification by scoring a goal, but Elwyn Richard scored a blistering shot that made it impossible to Williard Navarette to keep. Aels 1, Sangti 0 it ended, and Sangti will pack its belongings and go home.

Questions are now facing the Agilang Dilaw whether to retain manager Jerous Manalo. Stay tuned to ddsangti.sgt in the managerial saga. However an insider from the FAS say that they will give Manalo one last chance to keep his job. The World Cup Qualifiers.

by **Brenecia** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 10:29 pm

TWITTER FEEDS FROM THE BRENECIA SQUAD AFTER ELIMINATION

felixjcarrick wrote:Damn shame
we shouldve got through
but well-played to the 16 who got thru, we just werent good enough when it counted

fontaineofknowledge wrote:That moment when you're like "there's always next time"
then you realise...

jcazza wrote:un-bloody-believable... this is the worst moment in our careers...

bigriggs wrote:AAAAAARGHHHH

by **Ethington** » Sun Jun 09, 2013 11:14 pm

ACT FIVE: Qualification
Posted by AJ at 2:19

49', █ Willmore, bad tackle (2)
60', Césasarælía◄►Lehtonen
65', GOAL, Césasarælía, left-footed half-volley (5)
68', █/█Willmore, jersey grabbing (3,1)
69', Formation change, 5-4-1 to 5-3-1
69', Trengrove◄►Shirffle
69', Cox◄►St. Claire

What a game. The only reason that I could see Donnel putting Lehtonen in over Césasarælía would be to give her some rest, especially with only needing a draw to secure qualification. Even still, Donnel brought Césasarælía into the game with a half hour to go, obviously playing for the win. Sure enough, she'd score five minutes later on a half-volley looking thing. Kneasson would make the first save on an amazing header from Aarslund. All seven of the fans (you could count the grey shirts) that were in the lower corner went crazy on Aarslund's header, thinking it was an assured goal. The original cross from Quirsoga on the right flank was perfectly placed on Aarslund's balding head. After Kneasson made the save, Césasarælía came flying in from the penalty arc to flying-drop-kick-thing the ball into the open net. The seven fans went crazy again as the players came over to celebrate by them.

However, everyone's hearts would be sent aflutter as Willmore would get a second yellow just a few minutes later. Panic crossed through the small press area (all three of us) as we wondered what Donnel would do to try to keep the match level. Shortly later, he called for both of his remaining substitutes, Trengrove and Cox. The formation would change to an even more defensive 5-3-1. Nearly no counter attacking happened for the remainder of the match, and they were able to keep the scoreline at 1:0.

With this result, the Casaran group stage has come to an end, and we are beginning the Stage of Sixteen. We're on a flight back to Kinitaria, where we'll face 11th ranked Kikwipeyi. Kikwipeyi ended on 10 points (3 wins, 1 loss, 1 draw), and had a Strength of Victory rating of 16²/₃.

From 16,000 tired kilometers with lots of flight rewards points, this is AJ signing off!

by **Punum** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 12:16 am

Punum Miss Out On Advancing

Punum performed outstandingly today, hammering Tantamir 4-0 in the Baptism of fire.

Punum were attacking straight away as Aaron McGuire scored a cracking goal from 35 metres out in the first minute, making it 1-0. After that goal Punum were threatening but couldn't get their final touches right. That was until the 23rd minute when Henry Dean got the ball down the left wing and played in what at first looked liked a poor cross, however it made it to Rodrick Dalton, who expertly hammered a half volley into the top right hand corner from the edge of the box, 23 minutes in and Punum were 2-0 up. With a two goal advantage, Punum would still not sit back and in the 45th minute they were at it again. Lenny Dotson received the ball near the half way line seeing a run down the left he plays it to Henry Dean, the left winger didn't see the run and played it back to Dotson, this time he decided to go down the right to Michael Dean, he then plays it to Dalton, who then sees an opportunity for Chris Lloyd to score, Lloyd takes the the shot, somehow the keeper manages to get it, the rebound then comes out to McGuire who plays a pass to Dotson, who is left with an east finish to make it 3-0, and that's how they went into half time. Straight after the break, Punum got a corner, the cross came in from the right and it was met with a bullet header from Rick Curtis, it was now 4-0. The Tantamirian keeper kept the score down to 4-0 with some astonishing saves. The game ended 4-0.

Unreported results: Tasrailia 2 - 0 Punum, Punum 1 - 1 Fristat and Marianopolis.

Punum have now been knocked out of the tournament finishing 28th. 2 points of finishing in the top 16.

by **Sudagiu** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:59 am

Glory

"And its a long ball up to Kaluza. He controls it beautifully. He has plenty of time on the ball. He takes a touch, and SLAMS THE BALL INTO THE BACK OF THE NET! SUDAGIU HAVE WON THE MATCH! SUDAGIU ARE IN THE ROUND OF 16!"
excerpt from Sudagiu Sport Channel

The Sudagiu National Team has done us proud, advancing to the Round of 16 of the Baptism of Fire. We are proud of our achievement, and when our brave players get home, they will be treated like winners, no matter what results. Sudagiu are going to do well in the World Cup, with this kind of form, and maybe qualify after a few seasons! Well, now is the Baptism of Fire, and below is the summary of the match against Mechelen.

Sudagiu 1(Kaluza 90+5') - Mechelen 0

Team	Sudagiu	Mechelen
Goals Scored	1	0
Shots Total	13	15
Shots on Target	10	9
Yellow Cards	1	3
Red Cards	0	1

The game started in a stadium in Legalese, and neutrals would say that this game was one of the most exciting in the BoF. The game kicked off, and multiple shots were exchanged in the first five minutes. Wico Brandwijk hit the bar after 3 minutes, and Gerhard Żuraw hit the Mechelen post from a free kick. The game was high-quality, attacking football, and Mechelen saw a red card. Then, in the dying seconds of the game, Rokus Kaluza sent a bullet into the top corner of the Mechelen net to send all of Sudagiu crazy.

The Round of 16 match is against Aquitayne, in Kinitaria. Aquitayne lost to Ethington in their last game.

The 52nd Baptism of Fire Everything Thread

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