"The victims are in our prayers" as response to tragedy

[The Gaelic Kingdoms of Britain]

The bombings at the Boston Marathon today have got me thinking about this.

After a major tragedy or disaster, you will inevitably hear people saying things like "my prayers are with the victims and their families". But does this really achieve anything?

Obviously, as an atheist, I think that prayer in response to tragic events is silly and accomplishes nothing. However, I think that this goes beyond the usual debate over religion vs. atheism.

There are two (sometimes three) ways that I see people react to a tragic event.

1) Help provide actual, tangible, aid to the people who have been affected. This also includes making donations to aid groups.
2) Pray for the victims and their families.
3) (only applies if the disaster hits in a country that is or has historically been an enemy of your country) Loudly proclaim that the victims deserved it. This was especially prevalent in the aftermath of Japan's 2011 earthquake.

Ignoring the ridiculousness of option 3, there is a clear distinction between 1 and 2: one provides tangible help to the victims, while 2 does not. Even if someone is religious, I do not see the point in ignoring 1 in favor of 2. Because, if you truly want to help those who need it (I am ignoring the people who "pray for those affected" as an ego-boosting feel-good kind of thing), why wouldn't you do something that you KNOW will help, instead of something that your FAITH makes you HOPE will help?

What do you think? Discuss.

"option 2" as you put it, is often used by people who aren't able to give "Option 1" aid, however, Christians, at least, are called to give tangible aid to those who need it, alongside prayer, and my church is a really good example of such acts. My church has gone on several trips to give aid in the wake of the hurricanes and even in Haiti.

[Great Zavi]

Help and pray.

What's wrong with that?

Apparently not allowed.

They seem so angry at religion.

[Choronzon]

Apparently not allowed.

They seem so angry at religion.

There are a decent amount of NSG users who can't get past the fact that someone, somewhere is praying.

Their lives must be difficult.

[Czechanada]

They seem so angry at religion.

There are a decent amount of NSG users who can't get past the fact that someone, somewhere is praying.

Their lives must be difficult.

Our difficult lives are no laughing matter. We get migraines every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

[Choronzon]

And here is the why as to your statement being infantile. Thanks!

Tell me, what exactly about this is infantile? Is it infantile to refuse to partake in your self righteous circle jerk? Or do you just call anything that disagrees with you infantile and then wash your hands of the whole matter? I'm sure that makes life easy.

What are you doing to help the victims? Or is bitching on NSG about people expressing solidarity in their own way your sole contribution?

*drums fingers on desk*

[Great Zavi]

There are a decent amount of NSG users who can't get past the fact that someone, somewhere is praying.

Their lives must be difficult.

Our difficult lives are no laughing matter. We get migraines every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

I believe it.

[The Whispers]

There are a decent amount of NSG users who can't get past the fact that someone, somewhere is praying.

No, I think the thing that some users are annoyed at is thus:

If "you/a thing is in my prayers" is just a platitude, you might as well not say something which is going to piss off anyone who's not into prayer who's been Actually Affected by said hypothetical disastrophe, rather than Facebook Affected by it.

[Choronzon]

There are a decent amount of NSG users who can't get past the fact that someone, somewhere is praying.

No, I think the thing that some users are annoyed at is thus:

If "you/a thing is in my prayers" is just a platitude, you might as well not say something which is going to piss off anyone who's not into prayer who's been Actually Affected by said hypothetical disastrophe, rather than Facebook Affected by it.

1. Displays of solidarity are only effective if they're expressed
2. If someone expressing solidarity by saying "You're in my prayers," offends you then you should grow the hell up

[The Whispers]

No, I think the thing that some users are annoyed at is thus:

If "you/a thing is in my prayers" is just a platitude, you might as well not say something which is going to piss off anyone who's not into prayer who's been Actually Affected by said hypothetical disastrophe, rather than Facebook Affected by it.

1. Displays of solidarity are only effective if they're expressed

How is "sorry to hear it / hope things improve / hoping you stay well" inferior as a basically empty gesture to "you're in my prayers".

2. If someone expressing solidarity by saying "You're in my prayers," offends you then you should grow the hell up

That's ridiculous, because you're placing the blame for being offended onto the person who's being fed a bunch of religious nonsense when they're undergoing personal trauma of some kind.

[Ordya]

Tell me, what exactly about this is infantile? Is it infantile to refuse to partake in your self righteous circle jerk? Or do you just call anything that disagrees with you infantile and then wash your hands of the whole matter? I'm sure that makes life easy.

What are you doing to help the victims? Or is bitching on NSG about people expressing solidarity in their own way your sole contribution?

*drums fingers on desk*

I don't think he's planning on answering.

[Choronzon]

How is "sorry to hear it / hope things improve / hoping you stay well" inferior as a basically empty gesture to "you're in my prayers".

I am not the one making qualitative judgements about how people express solidarity.

That's ridiculous, because you're placing the blame for being offended onto the person who's being fed a bunch of religious nonsense when they're undergoing personal trauma of some kind.

If someone is offended that someone else is religious then the blame does fall squarely on the person offended. Freedom of religion cuts both ways, as much as that chafes the NSG atheists.

[Great Zavi]

1. Displays of solidarity are only effective if they're expressed

How is "sorry to hear it / hope things improve / hoping you stay well" inferior as a basically empty gesture to "you're in my prayers".

2. If someone expressing solidarity by saying "You're in my prayers," offends you then you should grow the hell up

That's ridiculous, because you're placing the blame for being offended onto the person who's being fed a bunch of religious nonsense when they're undergoing personal trauma of some kind.

"I hope things improve; you're in my prayers."

What exactly is so bad about that?

[Choronzon]

*drums fingers on desk*

I don't think he's planning on answering.

Hey, he went on the internet and bitched about some people expressing solidarity with victims in a way he personally disagreed with. Hes done so much to help the victims. Surely he is in a position to cast judgement on the efforts and gestures of others, right?

[Czechanada]

How is "sorry to hear it / hope things improve / hoping you stay well" inferior as a basically empty gesture to "you're in my prayers".

I am not the one making qualitative judgements about how people express solidarity.

That's ridiculous, because you're placing the blame for being offended onto the person who's being fed a bunch of religious nonsense when they're undergoing personal trauma of some kind.

If someone is offended that someone else is religious then the blame does fall squarely on the person offended. Freedom of religion cuts both ways, as much as that chafes the NSG atheists.

I admit do I find saying prayers to be just a tiny bit odd, but it doesn't really matter to me either way.

[Ordya]

I don't think he's planning on answering.

Hey, he went on the internet and bitched about some people expressing solidarity with victims in a way he personally disagreed with. Hes done so much to help the victims. Surely he is in a position to cast judgement on the efforts and gestures of others, right?

I'm sure he thinks so.

[The Orson Empire]

The bombings at the Boston Marathon today have got me thinking about this.

After a major tragedy or disaster, you will inevitably hear people saying things like "my prayers are with the victims and their families". But does this really achieve anything?

Obviously, as an atheist, I think that prayer in response to tragic events is silly and accomplishes nothing. However, I think that this goes beyond the usual debate over religion vs. atheism.

There are two (sometimes three) ways that I see people react to a tragic event.

1) Help provide actual, tangible, aid to the people who have been affected. This also includes making donations to aid groups.
2) Pray for the victims and their families.
3) (only applies if the disaster hits in a country that is or has historically been an enemy of your country) Loudly proclaim that the victims deserved it. This was especially prevalent in the aftermath of Japan's 2011 earthquake.

Ignoring the ridiculousness of option 3, there is a clear distinction between 1 and 2: one provides tangible help to the victims, while 2 does not. Even if someone is religious, I do not see the point in ignoring 1 in favor of 2. Because, if you truly want to help those who need it (I am ignoring the people who "pray for those affected" as an ego-boosting feel-good kind of thing), why wouldn't you do something that you KNOW will help, instead of something that your FAITH makes you HOPE will help?

What do you think? Discuss.

Silly? It's a form of empathy, and if the victims are religious also, then it helps them in return. Even still, it is empathy.

[Choronzon]

, and if the victims are religious also

This is another important point, because most likely the victims are religious.

[The Whispers]

How is "sorry to hear it / hope things improve / hoping you stay well" inferior as a basically empty gesture to "you're in my prayers".

I am not the one making qualitative judgements about how people express solidarity.

Well why don't you be that person for a second? If it's a platitude, why even include it, when there are many alternative choices which are 100% non-offensive.

That's ridiculous, because you're placing the blame for being offended onto the person who's being fed a bunch of religious nonsense when they're undergoing personal trauma of some kind.

If someone is offended that someone else is religious then the blame does fall squarely on the person offended. Freedom of religion cuts both ways, as much as that chafes the NSG atheists.

Going to disagree there, just on the grounds that traumatised people probably deserve to have it their way, at least for a bit, and saying "you're in my prayers" doesn't help them in the slightest if they're not into the whole prayer gig.

If you know someone is in the god squad, by all means go for it. Otherwise, why bother?

[The Orson Empire]

, and if the victims are religious also

This is another important point, because most likely the victims are religious.

It isn't certain, but there is a chance that at least some of the victims are or claim to be religious, which is why the prayer helps.

[The Whispers]

How is "sorry to hear it / hope things improve / hoping you stay well" inferior as a basically empty gesture to "you're in my prayers".

That's ridiculous, because you're placing the blame for being offended onto the person who's being fed a bunch of religious nonsense when they're undergoing personal trauma of some kind.

"I hope things improve; you're in my prayers."

What exactly is so bad about that?

The second statement is completely unnecessary?

[The Orson Empire]

"I hope things improve; you're in my prayers."

What exactly is so bad about that?

The second statement is completely unnecessary?

Not really.

[Choronzon]

Well why don't you be that person for a second?

What person? An atheist who has been told by a religious person that he is in their prayers?

I have. I took it for the expression of solidarity that it was. I am not so insecure in my beliefs that other people doing things their own way offends me.

If it's a platitude, why even include it, when there are many alternative choices which are 100% non-offensive.

Because people express solidarity in the way they are most comfortable with.

Going to disagree there, just on the grounds that traumatised people probably deserve to have it their way, at least for a bit, and saying "you're in my prayers" doesn't help them in the slightest if they're not into the whole prayer gig.

Again, if you are so insecure that someone expressing solidarity by saying they will pray offends you then you should grow up.

If you know someone is in the god squad, by all means go for it. Otherwise, why bother?

I can't answer that, because I am not those people. Perhaps its what their most comfortable with.

[The Whispers]

The second statement is completely unnecessary?

Not really.

You've already granted your platitudinal condolences with the first bit. The second bit is either just an extra one for timewasting's sake, or you think that it'll score you some points with God, at which point you're using an external tragedy for your imagined metaphysical benefit, which is just offensive.

[Choronzon]

Not really.

You've already granted your platitudinal condolences with the first bit. The second bit is either just an extra one for timewasting's sake, or you think that it'll score you some points with God, at which point you're using an external tragedy for your imagined metaphysical benefit, which is just offensive.

Or its someone being genuine and sincere and expressing solidarity in the way they are most familiar and comfortable with.

[Dousmilia]

I'm not religious but I'm not seeing the issue with it. The feeling/sentiment behind it is the important bit, no different from saying I'm sorry to hear that, my thoughts/condolences to everyone involved ect. It's a positive statement that doesn't harm anyone.