I think my son might be gay. Please help.

[The Imperial Navy]

Show him Bridget.

Bridget Bosselier? The famous scientist?

Laugh now, but when she gets a Nobel prize, who'll be laughing then?

Small furry creatures called Meloks who burrow in the ground. But thats another story.

[Hammurab]

NO!!! NEVER ACCEPT GAYS!!!!!!!! Love them because you HAVE to love everybody.... BUT DON'T EXCEPT THEM!!!!!!!!

THEY ARE AN ABOMINATION!!!!!!!!!

Have him read the 1611 King James Version BIBLE
The book and chapter, Romans Chapter 1

HOMO'S ARE NOT ACCEPTED IN HEAVEN, EVEN IF THEY GOT SAVED!!!!!!!

Right. They go to Homolimbo. Or...Hombo...Holimbo......the Dimension of Gayness, which ancient cultures called neoartland.

[Arumdaum]

I don't like football, I never had a girlfriend, and I don't like any quarterbacks. I also like simplicity, beauty, and yes, nature. I love small children, and in secret like cute little animals.

However, I am fully straight. And there's nothing you can do for me to stop being straight. I talk straight and also act straight, and everybody knows I'm straight.

[UnhealthyTruthseeker]

Show him gay furry porn. If he faps, he is teh ghey.

[Hammurab]

The bolded describe me, I'm not gay, a bit of a nerd, and despite my flirting ability I have a horrible fear of rejection so I've never gotten a girlfriend, so stop worrying, until he comes home with a woman or a male stripper you can't definitively tell his sexuality

Of course this is likely just flamebait

Besides what's the big deal? If he is you can't change him, (I'll say usually here because there have been some claims about treatment)

Coming home with a male stripper does not make you gay. Sometimes you just want to help out a wirey Puero Rican who's down on his luck and agrees to do some light house work and frugging in a dog crate in exchange for a room and expired acne medication.

[The Imperial Navy]

NO!!! NEVER ACCEPT GAYS!!!!!!!! Love them because you HAVE to love everybody.... BUT DON'T EXCEPT THEM!!!!!!!!

THEY ARE AN ABOMINATION!!!!!!!!!

Have him read the 1611 King James Version BIBLE
The book and chapter, Romans Chapter 1

HOMO'S ARE NOT ACCEPTED IN HEAVEN, EVEN IF THEY GOT SAVED!!!!!!!

I don't listen to hip-hop.

[Hammurab]

I don't like football, I never had a girlfriend, and I don't like any quarterbacks. I also like simplicity, beauty, and yes, nature. I love small children, and in secret like cute little animals.

However, I am fully straight. And there's nothing you can do for me to stop being straight. I talk straight and also act straight, and everybody knows I'm straight.

A guy who keeps talking about straight he is is gayer than the gay cow on Family Guy.

[Hammurab]

NO!!! NEVER ACCEPT GAYS!!!!!!!! Love them because you HAVE to love everybody.... BUT DON'T EXCEPT THEM!!!!!!!!

THEY ARE AN ABOMINATION!!!!!!!!!

Have him read the 1611 King James Version BIBLE
The book and chapter, Romans Chapter 1

HOMO'S ARE NOT ACCEPTED IN HEAVEN, EVEN IF THEY GOT SAVED!!!!!!!

I don't listen to hip-hop.

Heh, nice.

[Grandais]

Obvious flamebait/made up scenario/stereotyping is obvious?

[The Imperial Navy]

Heh, nice.

It's all about timing.

[Aishah]

I don't like football, I never had a girlfriend, and I don't like any quarterbacks. I also like simplicity, beauty, and yes, nature. I love small children, and in secret like cute little animals.

However, I am fully straight. And there's nothing you can do for me to stop being straight. I talk straight and also act straight, and everybody knows I'm straight.

A guy who keeps talking about straight he is is gayer than the gay cow on Family Guy.

Family Guy has a gay cow?

[Arumdaum]

I don't like football, I never had a girlfriend, and I don't like any quarterbacks. I also like simplicity, beauty, and yes, nature. I love small children, and in secret like cute little animals.

However, I am fully straight. And there's nothing you can do for me to stop being straight. I talk straight and also act straight, and everybody knows I'm straight.

A guy who keeps talking about straight he is is gayer than the gay cow on Family Guy.

I'm still wondering why he isn't getting warned or anything for flamebait.

Anyways, you are talking about how horrible it is for the possibility that your son might be gay. There is nothing wrong about being gay, bi, or straight. Everything is perfectly normal.

[Hammurab]

1.) If you think the OP is just trying to mess with people, just ignore his post
2.) To the OP: I will share no opinions on homosexuality, however, allow me to address one issue I see with your post. Your son is gay because he is not obsessed with muscular men who wear tights and run around a field together, but you're not because you covered your room with shots from different angles of a muscular man in tights?

You are waaaaay off.

I photoshopped out the tights and replaced them with bare legs from men's fitness magazines like Men's Health, GQ Underwear Edition, and Black Inches.

[The Imperial Navy]

Family Guy has a gay cow?

[Hammurab]

I don't like football, I never had a girlfriend, and I don't like any quarterbacks. I also like simplicity, beauty, and yes, nature. I love small children, and in secret like cute little animals.

However, I am fully straight. And there's nothing you can do for me to stop being straight. I talk straight and also act straight, and everybody knows I'm straight.

A guy who keeps talking about straight he is is gayer than the gay cow on Family Guy.

I'm still wondering why he isn't getting warned or anything for flamebait.

Anyways, you are talking about how horrible it is for the possibility that your son might be gay. There is nothing wrong about being gay, bi, or straight. Everything is perfectly normal.

If everything is "perfectly normal", than both perfection and normalcy become meaningless terms.

Your argument thus fails on the most intrinsic levels, much like man on man schtupping is an abomination.

[Aishah]

Family Guy has a gay cow?

Ah, that cow. I missed that, totally.

[The Imperial Navy]

I aim to please. ^^

[The Archiepelago]

So, the other night I was watching Interview with the Vampire with the sound off because I think Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are palpably potent together, but I don't really like Ann Rice (the first time I read her books, I thought I had bought Ayn Rand and I couldn't figure out how the Vampire exemplified rational self interest). Anyway, I needed the remote control to turn the sound back up because the part with Antonio Banderas was coming on (his voice is the reason they invented Dolby).

Anyway, I noticed my son had the remote, but I also noticed something else: his pants matched his shirt. I mean, they really went together in a way that reflected a certain fashion sense, not overstated, subtle, but undeniably stylish. That got me worried.

Then, it occurred to me that my son has no girlfriend. He flirts, mind you, he flirts ably and often. Girls gravitate to him, laugh with him, lean in to talk to him, ask questions about him...yet he has no girlfriend. Think about it. What kind of person easily and effectively flirts with women, but has no girlfriend? That's right. Boys of gayness.

He shows no interest in football. He's physically active, but prefers cardio, climbing, running, dancing... the homosexual forms of excercise. When I was younger, I loved football. I was a big John Elway fan, I used to watch him in every game, cheer him, put pictures of him from various angles all over my room, keep track of his injuries, his hairstyles. My son shows no interest in any current quarterback.

I have to find a way to make my son not be gay anymore. Think of the repercussions of the gay lifestyle, the harassment, the AIDS, people calling you homo, fag, queer, Neo Art, and call kinds of names, being hated by Jesus and his peers (my son's peers, not Jesuseses's peers, although they would hate gay people, too, I guess, being angels or something).

I want my son to grow up strong, straight, and normal, like me, so he doesn't end up like those gay guys, who get arrested at a rest stop in Utah by a cop who for some reason lets the other 11 guys go but takes you to his car, but sits you in the front seat and its really awkward and says he has to interrogate you but its kind of a weird intense interrogation not like the kind of intensity you'd expect but more like the cut prison shower scene from Tango and Cash were the director kept yelling cut but Stallone and Russel kind of just kept going and the cop keeps talking about "consequences" and "alternatives" and you ask the cop why he has no partner and he gets angry so you try to just appease him and afterward as you're walking home you kind of wonder why a highway patrolman was in an unmarked car, especially a 1989 Hyundai Excel.

Help me save my son from being gay.

Well it's obvious you need lots of therapy. Trying to make someone what they aren't is wrong. I told my dad to stick it when he wanted me to be like him. Just because not everyone is the same means absolutely nothing! understand? Nothing. And you never mentioned his age so nobody knows what to even say about it. I hate all sports. I may watch them but it's the most boring thing out there to me. And the last part sounds like something out of a Family Guy episode.

[Drachmar]

The bolded describe me, I'm not gay, a bit of a nerd, and despite my flirting ability I have a horrible fear of rejection so I've never gotten a girlfriend, so stop worrying, until he comes home with a woman or a male stripper you can't definitively tell his sexuality

Of course this is likely just flamebait

Besides what's the big deal? If he is you can't change him, (I'll say usually here because there have been some claims about treatment)

Coming home with a male stripper does not make you gay. Sometimes you just want to help out a wirey Puero Rican who's down on his luck and agrees to do some light house work and frugging in a dog crate in exchange for a room and expired acne medication.

Buffet and Colbert thanks you.

[Hammurab]

Oh yes cuz everyone who wears matching shirts and doesn't play football is gay.

I never said that. I fully acknowledge that there are straight people who wear co-ordinated clothes and don't play football.

They're called women.

[Aishah]

Oh yes cuz everyone who wears matching shirts and doesn't play football is gay.

I never said that. I fully acknowledge that there are straight people who wear co-ordinated clothes and don't play football.

They're called women.

Or metrosexuals.

[Cloddhopper-Love]

My personal Jesus states that all stereotypical bastards shall go to hell!!!

[Hammurab]

Well it's obvious you need lots of therapy. Trying to make someone what they aren't is wrong.

What do you think therapy does if not make someone what they aren't?

I told my dad to stick it when he wanted me to be like him. Just because not everyone is the same means absolutely nothing!

So diversity is meaningless? How unprogressive. You need therapy.

understand? Nothing.

Yes, your capacity for understanding leaves you well qualified to preach to others. You clearly think, write, and read well.

And you never mentioned his age so nobody knows what to even say about it.

He'll be a year and a half next month.

I hate all sports. I may watch them but it's the most boring thing out there to me. And the last part sounds like something out of a Family Guy episode.

Um.



Thank you?

[Drachmar]

My personal Jesus states that all stereotypical bastards shall go to hell!!!

Your personal Jesus called. He wants his religion back.

[Hammurab]

My personal Jesus states that all stereotypical bastards shall go to hell!!!

Your Mexican domestic help should find a new employment visa sponsor, especially if he's hoping you'll help him learn English.