World Cup 63 RP Thread

[Lymantatia]

Cambirano 0–1 Lymantatia
It was Matchday 7 when the Anollasians were who the Multicultural Peoples of Lymantatia defeated 1-0
Goals Scored:
Sylvius Johnson (1)
DYK:
Did you know that Lorenzo Martinez married Princess Anne of Lymantatia in May 20, 1996 and had 4 children (Mary (11), Alice (8), Robert (7), Mario (5))?

[Maklohi Vai]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Tumo Makanopalani's Travel Journal
Day 3

It's always good to get those wins that you think you deserve. Coach always preaches about hard work and practice, and it really does pay off. The win against St. Lucoa was the product of a lot of time spent fixing what we had done wrong against TBI, and perfecting what we had done right. I always appreciate his leadership and guidance. He also tells us about our opponents; what we should do to beat them, but also what we should do to not offend them. This second bit helps out a lot, surprisingly more than you think it might. The St Lucoans have a cultural norm of being straightforward about what they say and do. I engaged a fan in conversation about this. He declined to give his name.

"So, I've heard about your tradition of being straightforward."

"It's not as much a tradition as it is a way of living. We prefer to be direct because it allows for us to get on with what we need to do. It wastes time to scoot around until you finally arrive at the point."

"Can't feelings get hurt that way?"

"Sometimes, yes, but more often it prevents bad feelings."

"So it's net beneficial for everyone to be open?"

"If everyone is open, it's less likely that people will hear things misconstrued or differently than they were meant to be heard. That takes away a lot of anxiety when dealing with interpreting meanings."

"Could that be a function of language structure as well?"

"Maybe. We speak English, and so have a large vocabulary available, but I think it's more of a cultural thing than a language thing."

"That's really helpful to know. Thank you."

"No problem."

This conversation reminded me to be direct and straightforward, but moreover it reminded me to be honest. Telling lies only puts you in a bad position, or if not you, then someone else. Lying was strictly frowned upon when I was growing up. The attitude was "Why not tell the truth?" I suppose the Lucoans have it more ingrained than we do, though. It's certainly something to remember, but by no means is it something new that fits my criteria for being a new experience. Honesty is great, but I need to keep looking.

[Groteberg]

Groteberg 3–2 Mialmaropa
We defeated the Mialmaropa football team 3-2.
Goal Scorers:
Charles Winston (2)
Patrick McFarland (1)

[Sandwich Territories]

"Our chances look slim, but for our first time, I am proud of this squad."

"I am too."

"We did some things that suprised some other nations. We did good, boys."

"But our work isn't done, we must go on."

"This train isn't stopping. In fact, I want even more from you guys."

"Huh?"

"I think that winning is necessary now."

"When isn't it?"

"Good point, but it is needed even more."

"Coach is right, we need everything we have to stay alive."

"Whatever happens, happens."

"Hopefully we made, and are making Sandwich proud of us."

"Lets get out there, and play like this is the last game we'll ever play."

"Sounds like a plan...."

[Hutt River]

Lister was tired. He had absolutely no idea why. He had been laying in bed for the past 4 days, watching the TV and getting served 3 meals every day in bed, apart from on away days when he had to get up and ask the machine for something. Usually he wasn't bothered enough to get up, and went hungry. There was usually something on TV, a mundane soap or some 2 hour long drama TV movie featuring men smoking pipes, to keep Lister attention away from his stomach.

The team hadn't done too well in his absence, losing three, drawing one and winning one. Every day he heard how Holly was an absolutely terrible keeper and you shouldn't have fallen ill, otherwise we wouldn't be in this mess, which was a bit unfair on Lister as he'd hardly done anything, just caught a disease.

At this point he decided to succumb to the inevitable. He turned over, stuck his head onto his pillow and fell asleep.

* * *

Lister awoke, in his bunk, back on Red Dwarf. He was a bit surprised at first but seemed to quickly settle into the familiar surroundings. He climbed out of his bunk, trying not to disturb Rimmer quietly sleeping below. He tiptoed over to the dispenser, and whispered his name and ID number.

"Yes, can I help you?" The dispenser said in it's loud, booming tone. Lister jumped and looked quickly behind him. Rimmer was still fast asleep, eyes closed and mouth opening and closing.
"Yeah, can I have chips and curry sauce..."
"Do you want it in a tray or on a plate?"
"Tray, thanks. Can I have a milkshake as well?"
"What flavour?"
Lister paused, thinking. "Beer." A tray of chips and hot curry sauce, along with an extra strength lager milkshake appeared in the dispenser's 'mouth'. Lister picked them up and carried them over to his bunk. In his bed he placed them between the right side of his body and the wall, and shouted,"Holly. Holly." Holly appeared on the big black screen on the wall.

"'Sup dudes" said Holly, nodding his suspended head towards Lister. "I had a really weird dream last night."
"Robots dream?" Lister asked, surprised.
"Of course we do. Hologram's dream don't they. Aren't they similar to robots?"
"But isn't a robot programmed to do specific tasks. They don't have personalities or anything."
"Ay, we have a brain like computer..."
"For the others yes. Yours was removed a long time ago."
"and we have imagination chips. So why can't robots dream?"
"What do you dream of? Electric Sheep?"
"No, we dream of all the things humans can."
"Right, I'm convinced. Go on, what was your dream."

Holly proceeded to explain his dream to Lister in great detail. When he'd finished Lister said, "That's weird your description of your dream fits perfectly into mine. The substitute keeper, the scores, even the exact illness. Weird." Lister threw the empty tray and plastic cup in the bin. "There's probably an explanation for it all. Probably best to get back to bed Holly. Night." And with that Lister drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Hello, Lister. How are you today? Slobby as usual?" Rimmer peered over the side of his top bunk, and leered at Lister.
"Smeg off, Rimmer." Lister looked around and realised he was back on the platform again.
"Ah, good afternoon, Mr. Lister, sir." Kryten said, walking into the quarters, "Have a good nap?"
"Yeah. Actually, Kryten, I have a strange tale to tell."

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem coach Michelle Salad and Princess Katy

Katy: This is Princess Katy for Naked News Jeruselem. I'm with Jeruselem coach Michelle Salad.
Michelle: Hi everyone
Katy: High Heels who's taking the place of Cass for Pink came to Jeruselem to show what they are made off.
Michelle: Yes, but High Heels aren't the same as Cass.
Katy: So true because Jeruselem beat them 6-0
Michelle: Our best game of the cup, pity it was a Pink Cup friendly

Katy: The Sylvanaes Queendom beat Bears Armed 5-3
Michelle: Wow, exciting game.
Katy: This means, only us or The Sylvanaes Queendom can win the Pink cup.
Michelle: It'd be nice to win something for a change
Katy: So, guess who we play next in the Pink Cup?
Michelle: The Sylvanaes Queendom

Katy: The Bears Armed vs High Heels will mean nothing because both are on zero points.
Michelle: There's still pride
Katy: Did you know this is 13th Pink Cup?
Michelle: No
Katy: 13 seems good number for us
Michelle: It seems that way

Katy: Today was just perfect, home game and a huge win. No goals conceded.
Michelle: This is what the home fans expect
Katy: We know we are capable
Michelle: It's just delivering the potential all the time
Katy: Today is day we want to repeat next
Michelle: High Heels is a weaker opponent but then it's better than some of our group opponents

Katy: Exactly, we want to see this more often
Michelle: I wish I could deliver that
Katy: This cup, the attack has done a lot better
Michelle: Yes, maybe last cup - the attack was too restained
Katy: Too defensive in thinking?
Michelle: Yes, too scared in case the opponent took advantage of moving too many forward

Katy: So what went right today?
Michelle: I wish I knew
Katy: No one was sick. Everyone was fit. Everyone seems motivated
Michelle: I want to know what I did right myself
Katy: I mean it's better than any result we've had for a while
Michelle: I just hope we can do it again

Katy: That's it from me and Michelle from Dazza Dallas Stadium, home of the Princesses
Michelle: I really wish those statues had clothes
Katy: That's Dazza Dallas, she liked being ... naked
Michelle: You're naked too
Katy: It's Naked News baby
Michelle: Believe me, no one wants to see me naked.

[Warkus]

Bridge
Part I

One day things got weird. Things were always weird, don't get me wrong, but now things got really weird. I started hearing a voice, some teenager talking to me. He explained that he was in my head, that he did not truly exist in this world, yet that he was not me. According to him, he was his own person and we were very different people. I started realising that he was telling the truth as he kept talking.

Honestly, having a conversation with this kid is like playing football against the most random and acrobatic players, his every word made me immediately forget about understanding who he is. But, alas, one might think I'm going crazy. Perhaps, but I've always been crazy about football, maybe this time I can be crazy about something else at the same time.

Obviously, I'm never gonna mention any of this to anyone else. That'd be suicide, I'd be throwing my career into ruins by doing that. It's not like this kid's telling me to burn things, at least not yet. Even though I've only known this guy for a little while, he's started to open up to me, to some extent at least.

He says he's from another world and that I 'should call him Deus'. I think that's latin for something, but whatever. The kid seems like he's always depressed, beats me if I know why. He's kind of annoying and acts awkwardly, but that's completely forgiveable, giving that I'm the one hearing a bloody moody teenager inside of my head. He also mentioned something about 'failing' and how he 'can't go back to his world', along with the fact that he was the one who chose to leave it.

Despite that, he's been acting fairly nice, as well as providing help with social situations (Although most of his advice is either sarcastic or stupid). I suppose I'll just have to find out why he came here and how he can leave. That's going to take time. But, hey? Who cares?

Everything takes time.

[Milchama]

"So the first half is over"

"Wow what a half it has been"

"Yeah the best football Milchama has played in ages"

"Just incredible"

"I mean first place with only one defeat. Never expected it to be that good"

"No chance"

"None"

"It's crazy"

"Absolutely"

"I don't think anybody living remembers the last time Milchama was first in the half way point of a qualifying campaign"

"Yeah no more fighting it out for second or bs like that but real Warriors football"

"It's crazy"

"But it's great"

"That it is"

"Just that Myatannion loss"

"Yeah, I do not understand what happened there"

"It really doesn't make any sense"

"None"

"We've given up 1 goal the entire campaign so far"

"And we scored 6 goals in that game"

"True but anyways, 1 goal conceded and suddenly these commies come in and knock in 7 against us"

"Just devastating"

"Though since that game the Warriors haven't conceded"

"True, everything about it looks like a one game aberration but still it's crazy"

"Absolutely"

"Where did that come from?"

"I have no idea, intimidation, food poisoning, the entire team secretly dying on a plane crash, who knows?"

"Just awful"

"Yeah, it's awful"

"Though I don't think the plane crash story is true, not even conspiracy theorists are saying that"

"Not yet..."

"Oh goddamnit"

"Just kidding, totally not true"

"Good"

"Yeah but still what a half"

"Well obviously we need to ask the big question"

"Nah I'd like to avoid it"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not teleological"

"This is not a philosophical question!"

"Oh"

"Will Milchama keep it up?"

"Yeah that's a big question, and one I am prepared to answer"

"Thank god, well what's the answer"

"Yes"

"Why do you say that?"

"Our lowest margin of victory is 2 goals in all our games and outside of one bad game we have played excellently. While some regression is probable, the amount that would be necessary for us not to, AT LEAST, get a playoff spot is highly unlikely. We're seven points up on Kaledor in 3rd place and playing too well to let that gap evaporate. At least, I think so. What do you think?"

"I agree, some regression seems inevitable but drawing two games is not the end of the world. I think for the first time in a while we will not be sweating the end of qualifying and cruise to some post-qualifying, whether it be qualification or playoffs with ease. I don't know exactly what it will be, who really knows what it will be? But I definitely agree with you. Milchama should easily qualify for at least the playoffs of this cup"

"Should I now make it sound like we were on some sports tv show?"

"Probably we sure as hell sounded like it"

"That's funny"

"Oh definitely"

"Whatever, we're not so who cares"

"Yeah then people might know our names"

"We've been hiding those for years, possibly generations at this point"

"Who knows when we were born"

"So no anything like that for us then?"

"Oh most definitely not"

"But we did just tease anybody who reads these RPs on a regular basis about actually revealing personal details"

"Totally worth it"

"Definitely"

"Anyway, the Warriors will be great in the second half. They will even lose to Mytannion by less than 6 goals!"

"Woo hoo!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

"Come on You Warriors!"

[High Heels]

Jaykay Cone • Astasia Spool

Are we up? Are we down? Did you catch the show at the stadium? Is Kaisa OK? And does anyone care about the World Cup now? Our answers are yes, yes, yes, dunno, and yes-but.

The Foxes are halfway through their second World Cup qualifying campaign with nine points from nine matches. And a zero GD, 18 scored and 18 yielded. That's a little better than last time if they keep it up, and recent 1-0 and 1-1 results against two of the top three teams in the group say that we could. Nicolene Wedge has really started to step up as the dominant scoring threat. playing with new confidence since she found the new foreign boyfriend to impress. Or something. She has nine of the 18 goals, and that doesn't include her hat trick against Paradystopia in our 3-1 victory at the small tournament here in the tower.

If you missed the Högklackat Invitational, catch the rebroadcasts. It was fast and furious football even if it was hard to watch us get stomped. We won the one we expected to win, lost the one we expected to lose, and eighteen goals were scored in three games. Clean sheets? Ha. Every team scored in every match. It was a delight to host Paradystopia and an honour to see The Babbage Islands, #3 in the world, come here to play before 2,500. We can thank our three women who have won three Babbage championships at Sporting Boulder for that. But the Bumblebees didn't take it easy on us, winning 7-1. Yes, that's seven. It was an amazing night for winger Stefan Gill, who plays his club football in Polar Islandstates for FC Torshavn. Gill scored five goals. Kaisa Cuban left the match at the interval with the Foxes down 3-1, and Patricija Court was unceremoniously greeted by four more Babbage tallies.

Patty's a sweetheart, and really a pretty good keeper. But after four in 45 minutes against one famous team, the next Foxes matchup was in the Pink Cup against equally famous Jeruselem. And the score was equally lopsided, 6-0 to the Princesses. Nobody's saying why our #1 keeper and best-known player wasn't even dressed for a high-profile match after leaving early in the preceding contest. And with her backup getting shelled for ten goals it's a big question mark looming over the girls as they start the second leg of qualifying.

The good news is that we're only six points out of third place. The two teams expected to head the group are doing that comfortably, already ten points clear of third. The rest of the group aren't playing for qualification, but rather for respect. We can do that.

[New Montreal States]

Chapter One: Bill Watterson Looks into a Locker.
Chapter Two: What Bill Found There.
Chapter Three: Sam Flowers and the Locker
Chapter Four: What Sam Found There

The Paladins employ two different nutritionists, each of whom has earned a PhD studying the intricate relationships between athlete's bodies and the things those athletes put in their stomachs. The meals served in the team cafeteria have been carefully analyzed and optimized for every part of the human body, except the taste buds. Sam Flowers was in that cafeteria, pushing around a serving of slightly undercooked spinach with his fork, and reminiscing about the Vietnamese Spring Rolls the Witch had fed him during their sleigh ride. It had been almost a month since he and goalkeeper Bill Watterson had hustled into Narnia through an abandoned storage locker in the basement underneath the Paladin Dome, and every single mealtime since his return had been dominated by thoughts of those Spring Rolls and the rum-laced hot chocolate that had accompanied them.

After two weeks of these thoughts, Flowers had finally snapped. His memories of the witch's arrogance and hot temper had faded, replaced by her kind hospitality and the civilized conversation they had shared. And he would get to captain a football team! At a palace! For once he'd be the big man in the spotlight, and Fred Nguyen and Hugo Leclercq would be the ones supporting him.

Two nights after the home draw against Octinstine, he'd gone to a concert at the Paladin Dome. Milling around backstage after the show, he'd run into Allison Camembert, who was in the middle of an impressive 3-year run of being featured on both a hit drama (All the King's Admen) and hit comedy (Value for Money). They'd hit it off quite well, and Flowers had taken her to a diner not too far from the Dome for a 2 A.M. post-party breakfast. He'd stayed sober and driven an expensive sports car, hoping to attract the same sort of attention Fred Nguyen had been dealing with since the news of his impending fatherhood first made the press.

Two weeks later, the Paladins laid Boring Paradise to waste 4-1. Flowers and Nguyen found themselves in the hallway outside the press conference room, waiting to face off against the worst of the NMS media. Watterson and Leclercq were a bit farther back down the hall, arguing over which breed of dog was most suited for attracting women in public places. Flowers turned to Nguyen:

"Bet you five oz. my dinner date gets more questions than your baby."

Nguyen laughed sardonically and extended his hand, which Flowers enthusiastically shook. "That will be the easiest five oz. I ever made. I bet they're going to be spending the entire conference speculating on which brand of anti-nausea medicine Whitney is using to fight her morning sickness."

"Doubt it. I'm gonna go have one of the equipment managers spread the rumor that Allison is drinking nothing but decaf coffee and not telling anyone why. That ought to make those bastards forget everything else for the next four hours or so."

Both players started laughing. Once Nguyen had stopped, Flowers leaned in: "Either way, once we inevitably have to take to the basement again, follow me. I've found the best hiding spot in the build. Well, Bill did, but I borrowed it from him last time and we should all start using it."

"Think he'll mind sharing?"

"There's enough room for everyone in there. Easy."

"Well all right then. Lead on." At that point the PR guy waved them all onto the stage for the last press conference any of them would have to worry about for a while...

[Jeru FC]

Princess Melody and Melody Pond at Dazza Dallas Stadium

Pond: What you eating Princess?
Melody: Food
Pond: Worlds biggest hot dog?
Melody: It's not a tofu burger
Pond: Anyway, its not in my taste
Melody: It's full of the good stuff

Pond: Looks way too unhealthy
Melody: Chilli, onions, bacon, sausage ... whats not to like
Pond: Its not good for you
Melody: Its yummy, who cares if its bad for you
Pond: Its amazing the junk you eat
Melody: Hey, we can eat anything

Pond: I prefer less messy food
Melody: This is called the Dazza Dog
Pond: Looks like male appendage
Melody: Well, you ain't the virgin mary yourself Pondy
Pond: I can see why its called a Dazza Dog
Melody: Nothing wrong with it

Pond: How come they don't serve food at the Jeru FC stadium
Melody: Don't ask me, probably budget cuts
Pond: That's pretty poor, what are spectators supposed to eat?
Melody: Explains the BYO food policy
Pond: But the beer is cheap there ...
Melody; Yes, funny huh?

Pond: Why haven't I see the girls play like this today?
Melody: Don't ask me, you're in charge
Pond: Good point
Melody: I reckon the girls have lost their aggressiveness
Pond: Maybe they are too old now
Melody: I wouldn't say that

Pond: I don't know
Melody: I think they need more motivation
Pond: Isn't playing in World Cup motivation enough?
Melody; Yes but they are older and probably have kids now.
Pond: Probably underpaid
Melody: Jeru FC players have never been overpaid

Pond: I think they get treated like trash.
Melody: Yes, like getting sent off for retraining before the World Cup starts
Pond: They aren't here to be soldiers, they play football
Melody: Yes but you know a lot of people think girls shouldn't be in the front line anyway
Melody: Dunno what they are gonna do when they retire from the army, those girls

Pond: I think end up as single Mums
Melody: Pity, too old to play club football now those girls.
Pond: At least they aren't dead like the last team
Melody: Oh yes, that ... that was horrible
Pond: Yes, we don't want that again.
Melody: These girls have kids to take of.

[Boring Paradise]

OOC: I am in a rush for this RP. Came on too late.

December 27th: 3-3 Khytenna (A)
December 30th: 3-2 Sicoutimont (A)
December 31st: 2-3 Equestrian States (H)

---

MD1: 2-0 Secundus Kasius (H)
MD2: 4-2 Free Swiss States (A)
MD3: 1-0 Wight (H)
MD4: 2-1 Amelio (A)
MD5: 4-3 Octinstine (H)
MD6: 3-3 Slembana (A)
MD7: 1-1 Nation M (H)
MD8: 2-0 Cowardly Pacifists (H)
MD9: New Montreal States (A) Lose

---

Mid Qual (H): Free South Califas

---

MD10: Secundus Kasius (A) Win
MD11: Free Swiss States (H) Win
MD12: Wight (A) Lose
MD13: Amelio (H) Win
MD14: Octinstine (A) Draw
MD15: Slembana (H) Win
MD16: Nation M (A) Win
MD17: Cowardly Pacifists (A) Win
MD18: New Montreal States (H) Draw

Already  - 6-2-0 - 20/24 points
Exspected (That are Left) - 6-2-2 - 20/30 Points

Group 18                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Montreal States         8    6   2   0    22    9  +13    20
 2 Boring Paradise             8    6   2   0    19   10   +9    20
 3 Wight                       8    5   2   1    17    6  +11    17
 4 Octinstine                  8    4   2   2    18   12   +6    14
 5 Secundus Kasius             8    3   1   4    12   12    0    10
 6 Slembana                    8    3   1   4    20   26   −6    10
 7 Nation M                    8    2   2   4    13   17   −4     8
 8 Cowardly Pacifists          8    1   3   4     2    9   −7     6
 9 Free Swiss States           8    1   2   5     8   16   −8     5
10 Amelio                      8    0   1   7     4   18  −14     1

Previously
Location: Paradisia Airport, NS World Terminal, Boring Paradise, Rushmore

---

Luke Homewood: The match did was very good against Cowardly Pacifists. Another win comes back to us and now we are still third as New Montreal States thrashed the Puny Slembana 6-3. This was a second home match in a row at home. Drawing the home match against Nation M, gave New Montreal States a chance to go ahead, but as they drew on that day we were still separated by Goal Difference.

Gary Hughes: Wight are coming with a bang now. With that draw against Nation M and Slembana. Wight have chance to climb up. They are now three points behind the top two and we were the first and only team to defeat Wight in this group so far.

Cameron Clark: The goalscorers were, Raiyaan Malik on the 31st minute and Sameer Jaklim on the 63rd minute

Luke Homewood: Three people from the team got yellow cards, Miguel Cruz, Lynn Hubbard and Salvador Lynch and for our team Daniel Jones got injured and John Alklani got a yellow card in that match.

Cameron Clark: There were no red cards in that game.

Gary Hughes: Now for the goal moments. In the 31st minute came a good ball from Kevin Harris after they all came back from rest and are back on the field. The ball which was in the air came down into Raiyaan Malik's feet. He was clear and was able to shoot from the same distance from the penalty box. In the 63rd minute came a goal by Sameer Jaklim. With a great through-ball from Hishaam Ali made a great chanc for Sameer Jaklim to score as the defenders were to busy marking.

[Wight]

.

[Bears Armed]

(from the ‘Sports’ section of ‘The Bear Necessities’…)

Goal-scorers

v Sicoutimont
(#15) Varrna o Kerr-Surra : 1
(#27) Krissie Fairbearrn: 1
(#30) Karralha Levin: 1

[u)Total[/u]
(#25) Sorrkhie Torr’hay: 6
(#24) Sarrathrie Sevens: 5
(#12) Amarra Sunwatcher: 5
[#13) Syrrae o Wirrenne : 5
(#16) Harrietta Karra o Hara: 4
(#27) Krissie Fairbearrn: 4
(#11) Thyrra Darma’s-darthhrr: 3
(#30) Karralha Levin: 3
(#15) Varrna o Kerr-Surra : 2
(#6) Errond’hrra Thunder-Child: 1
(#35) Emma o RedSun: 1

____________________________________________________________________________


Meanwhile, at an undisclosed location somewhere within Bears Armed [which you should probably have worked out by now, from the details of its previous appearances during these qualifiers, is either BASIC’s actual headquarters or another important base for that agency, Mr Hrraleigh — BASIC’s director — and his assistant Miss RedRose are having a conversation.


(Hrraleigh) “Has LoneBear reported back yet?”

(RedRose) “No, but Karramarsar has: He says that the group of suspicious-seeming humans hwhom they’d been sent to investigate in WestPort aren’t yet more of the Chaos-cultists that we’ve been rounding up, they’re actually agents from The Holy Empire who were looking for those cultists with the aim of stopping them themselves hwithout any publicity.”

(Hrraleigh) “Hr’rmm. And without clearing their operations hwithin our territory with urrs beforepaw, even though our countries have never had any conflicts with each other, neither. Not hrright, that.”

(RedRose) “No, sir. Anyhows, Karramarsar says that LoneBear has somehow managed to persuade those agents that he’s a freespear* investigator who’d potentially be a verry useful helper for them there, so he’s had to reduce his direct contacts with urrs hwhile they’re around.”

(Hrraleigh) “Hokay. Pass on approval for that plan, through Karramarsar.
“And get in touch with the Committee for The Strangers again. Keeping discussions with the Imperials] about this general situation on an informal basis is one thing, but having Imperial agents turn up working in our own territory hwithout consent is something else altogether, for true!”

(RedRose) “Hokay, chief, will do.
“Should I check with the Strangers about hwhether they’ve made any more progress on the question of hwhat to do with the captured cultists, too?”

(Hrraleigh) “Ayyuh, do that. Now, about the hrregime-change situation down in Harrgenborkh, hwhat news is…
“Hwhat!?!!”

They both started in astonishment as a whole flock of Ravens not only appeared from out of nowhere in a sudden burst of rainbow light (an event that was far from unprecedented around there, because of those birds’ frequent employment in the information-gathering and courier businesses) but then coalesced into a single being: A Bear whose black fur looked somehow still rather reminiscent of feathers…

(Hrraleigh) “HRraven himself?!? Here?”

(Raven) “Ayyuh. Important news for Grorrfin and Grimdark, I bring: A party of Chaos-worshippers has made its way into the Wilderlands** stealthily from the south, through the mountains from Malabra, and rests now — apparently waiting for allies to reach them — within the ruins of SheBahr***. Intercepted before they can get much closer to the Wastes, they must be.
Prevented from completing their plan, they MUST be!”

He dissolves back into a flock of ordinary-sized ravens, and disappears again although this time without the usual flash of light.

(Hrraleigh) “Well, that’s something that — even in this business — one doesn’t see everyday. Miss RedRose, please pass the word, politely of course, that Sermharn is needed in this office as promptly as possible. We’’l have to hope that he can contact Their Wisdoms quickly enough… ”




OOC
* “freespear” = “freelance”… because the Bears have traditionally relied verry little on cavalry rather than infantry, and consequently have made verry little use of lances.

** the Wilderlands are a sparsely-populated area to the east of Bears Armed’s ‘mainland’ section, surrounding and including the extremely hazardous zone known as the ‘Hazardous Wastes’ that has already been mentioned in an earlier episode of this story. They are “protected” by Bears Armed, so that they cannot be used as a base for attacks against this nation, although (for several reasons) they aren’t actually counted as being inside the country’s borders.

*** The city of SheBahr was the capital of a separate Ursine nation (which shared its name) back in olden days, a Queendom that was devastated by the Chaos-tainted ‘Wulfen’ (who were the first ‘horde’ of monsters to erupt out from the Hazardous Wastes): Several groups of Bears claiming significant levels of descent from survivors of SheBahr’s people live within Bears Armed today, most importantly the dominant elements within ‘Clan WhiteWater’ which is one of the twelve Major Clans.

[Klomania]

On the birthday of Enzar (president) Gregory ei Skrebnev, a World Cup 63 game will take place in Skria, Skerian Statearea. Skria is home to about 13 million people, 157 miles east of the Kloman River cutting through the heart of Klomania. There is a multi-sport stadium that is good for the game.

Ever since we signed a peace treaty with Killsopaiicena and Atitsnak, we have now allowed athletes from these countries to sign up for the game. Most of the sports from the Olympic Games will be in the game.

[Kaledor]

KALEDOR 1 – 0 THATIUS
WORLD CUP QUALIFER
VENUE: KNIGHTS COLISEUM, ALBUS
ATTENDANCE: 50,000

The Knights moved up to third in their group after recording a fantastic 1-0 win over Thatius.
The Knights started off on fire with a string of chances. Sir Tristram teed up Sir Tarquine, whose header was easily saved. Sir Tristram then turned the left-back with ease, and sent an inch perfect cross onto Sir Tarquine’s head. The striker only had to meet the ball cleanly, and put it on target, but he failed miserably.
Another super piece of football came from Sir Percival, who had the audacity to chip the ball over a defender and send in a beautiful long cross field pass to Sir Kay whose shot went inches wide.
After 34 minutes, Sir Tristram sent a gorgeous whipped cross into the 6 yard box, and Sir Tarquine headed only just over the bar.
The second half started very tamely. It was very much a stop-go affair, as the referee was blowing for virtually everything. There was a loud penalty appeal when Sir Tarquine appeared to have been brought down in the box, but the shout went un-heeded.
The chances were few and far between in the second half, as Thatius swamped the midfield, and Kaledor rarely created decent chances. Sir Tarquine had a chance in front of goal, which the keeper saved easily. Later on a long lofty cross over the defence was headed down for Sir Tarquine, but the ball was scrambled clear, and it looked like the game was going to finish goaless.
But with two minutes of the game remaining, Sir Kay passed to Sir Tarquine who fired a shot at the keeper, who could only parry into the path of Sir Kay. Sir Kay headed the ball against the post, and the ball rolled back out. The keeper scrambled to retrieve the ball, but Sir Kay prevented him getting a clean grasp, and with a couple of touches and a stumble, he managed to tap the ball into the corner. He showed some attitude too in his celebration, with a clenched salute to the crowd.
The Knights are four points ahead of schedule in their group, so manager Lord Agravaine will be well pleased with their performances so far. Next up is a trip to New Ecopia. They suffered a 3-2 defeat to them on the opening matchday, so they will be looking for retribution.

[West Angola]

NAMIBE CHRONICLE

MID-QUALIFYING: GROUP REVIEW

Group 4                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
     1 The Holy Empire             9    7   2   0    29   12  +17    23
     2 Starblaydia                 9    6   1   2    20   11   +9    19
     3 West Angola                 9    5   2   2    12    8   +4    17
     4 Lymantatia                  9    4   2   3    19   16   +3    14
     5 Anollasia                   9    4   1   4    13   17   −4    13
     6 Vettrera                    9    3   3   3    25   21   +4    12
     7 Bloodbath Generation        9    4   0   5    20   25   −5    12
     8 Cambirano                   9    3   0   6    18   24   −6     9
     9 Kishrael                    9    2   2   5    16   22   −6     8
    10 Vakolic                     9    0   1   8    12   28  −16     1

1. The Holy Empire: The number one team across all realities, The Holy Empire has had the expected dominant run thus far, going undefeated and only drawing twice: once to group second-seed Starblaydia, and once to Vettrera, which has had an extremely successful run for their position in this qualifier. No one is expecting The Holy Empire to slow down in the second half, either, as the elites of the tournament protect their number one ranking and attempt to nail down the automatic berth into the next round. As long as The Holy Empire plays the second half like it has the first half, they should enter group play as the strongest team in the tournament, and a real threat to repeat as World Cup Champions.
Predicted Results: Loss at home
Predicted Group Finish: 1st

2. Starblaydia: Starblaydia, the group’s second seed, has hit a few unexpected speed bumps during this qualifying campaign. The team, which expected to sew up the qualifying berth by beating West Angola and then watching the gold-and-blue fall to lower-ranked teams, as is their form, was upset at home by West Angola 1-0 in the fourth match of qualifying. However, Starblaydia’s second half of expectations came true as West Angola drew with Kishrael (0-0), and Anollasia (0-0), and lost to Lymantatia (0-2). Granted the opportunity to pull away following those disappointments, Starblaydia instead found themselves victims of an upset at the hands of Cambirano (2-3), but recovered for a home draw of The Holy Empire (3-3), and managed to close out the first leg of qualifying with a two-point cushion over West Angola.
Predicted Results: Draw at home
Predicted Group Finish: 2nd

3. West Angola: The draw was kind to West Angola, as it usually is. It gifted them a team ranked near the bottom of the pot above them, and also granted them the top-ranked team across reality, a team that they could be confident that everyone, not just them, would lose to. After the fourth match, West Angola appeared to have all their ducks in a row, they’d beaten Starblaydia on the road, and despite the 0-0 draw to Kishrael, were right in the thick of the playoff race. Then it all went down, flaming out like an ember thrown from a fire, as West Angola fell to Lymantatia on the road, watched Starblaydia draw against The Holy Empire, and drew to Anollasia on their final match of the first leg. West Angola has a much easier-looking second half, playing home matches against The Holy Empire, Starblaydia, Lymantatia, and Anollasia, so they should be able to accrue more than 17 points in the second half, but one wonders if it will be enough.
Predicted Results: Still none, if you looked here in the pre-Qualifying report, hit yourself with our newspaper.
Predicted Group Finish: 3rd

4. Lymantatia: “Pride goes before the fall.” No phrase better sums up West Angola’s match against Lymantatia than that. Flying high after wins over Starblaydia and Bloodbath Generation, West Angola headed into their away match against Lymantatia with high spirits. The Lymantatian press had published a group preview before the beginning of play which was remarkable sparse on data, simply referring to many teams, including West Angola, with “I don’t know.” The West Angolan team failed to take Lymantatia seriously, and the entire match was treated as a comedy affair in West Angola, with the Ministry of Culture sending “missionaries” to spread facts about the nation and the staff at Immaculate Conception Hospital brazenly predicting a “4-0 victory.” The West Angolan team was sent crashing down to earth in the match, falling 2-0 and looking several times outmatched against a team ranked over twenty places below them. West Angola will face this team in Namibe on the return leg, and should be able to avenge the defeat, if they take this team seriously.
Predicted Results: Win at home
Predicted Group Finish: 6th

5. Anollasia: Another team West Angola fell to on the road, Anollasia has had a disappointing run after a third-place finish four years ago. West Angola suffered its second scoreless draw of the tournament in its final match of the leg, a result that allowed Starblaydia to regain a cushion (however small) over West Angola. Currently sitting fifth in the group, one point back of Lymantatia, Anollasia will be hungry to snatch the spot away from them. In their head-to-head matchup, one of the highest-scoring matches of qualifying, Anollasia fell 6-3 on the road, and will be eager to repay the loss on the return leg. The official prediction of the Chronicle: Anollasia hammers Lymantatia at home 4-1 and gains its revenge, as well as the fifth-place spot.
Predicted Results: Win at home
Predicted Group Finish: 5th

6. Vettrera: A team with a World Cup history that began at the same time as West Angola, Vettrera has not yet achieved as much due to sporadic attendance that saw them miss World Cups 59, 61, and 62. Despite this, they have played exceedingly well in this cycle, drawing Lymantatia 2-2 on the road and The Holy Empire 1-1 at home. Despite currently being tied for the last place of a four-way battle for the fourth position, Vettrera probably has the best chance to claim the spot, having barely lost to Anollasia and drawing Lymantatia. In the return leg, look for this team to make a lot more noise as they try to build their ranking and ascend to the top 100.
Predicted Results: Win on the road
Predicted Group Finish: 4th

7. Bloodbath Generation: A relatively young team, Bloodbath Generation has had the typical roller coaster ride this cycle, falling to West Angola, Anollasia, Vettrera, Starblaydia, and The Holy Empire, while knocking off the teams below them as well as upsetting Lymantatia. Bloodbath Generation has had a very successful campaign for their position, and they will seek to avenge some of their close losses on the return leg.
Predicted Results: Win on the road
Predicted Group Finish: 7th

8. Cambirano: West Angola’s first opponent, Cambirano made headway against a disjointed and inexperienced West Angolan side in the opener, although they ultimately lost the match. This time, with the opportunity to play at home, Cambirano will seek to build on the things they learned the first time around and penetrate West Angola’s defense, which has given up fewer goals than any other team in the group. In the opener, Cambirano benefitted from the competition between West Angolan forwards Peter Wilson and Luke Parrish, but the two have since resolved their issues and should be able to play well moving forward, so Cambirano will have a challenge in the opening match of the second half.
Predicted Results: Win on the road
Predicted Group Finish: 8th

9. Kishrael: West Angola’s first match against this team was an extremely forgettable 0-0 home draw that set in motion a chain of events culminating in Coach Phillip Garren’s admission to Immaculate Conception Hospital. West Angola will need to recover against them on the return leg, which will require the team to travel to Kishrael and succeed where they could not at home. If West Angola hopes to qualify, they will need to win this match, and win it convincingly.
Predicted Results: Win on the road
Predicted Group Finish: 9th

10. Vakolic: The lone unranked team in the group, Vakolic is also the only team not to claim a win in the first half, managing their only point from a scoreless draw against Lymantatia. This team will have a ranking following this World Cup, but unless they improve a lot over the break, it will not be very high at all. However, if Vakolic can recapture the spark they showed against Lymantatia (and maybe rehire those Russian vodka farmers), they will be able to pull a few upsets in the second half that will throw the group into upheaval.

---

MATCH-BY-MATCH REVIEW

1. West Angola 3-1 Cambirano
This match was a lot closer than it should have been. Cambirano came out ready to play, and West Angola’s forwards were more concerned with not being outshone by the other than creating scoring opportunities. After racing out to a 2-0 lead, Peter Wilson and Luke Parrish got into a shouting match near the goal that nearly came to blows. In the second half, Cambirano cut West Angola’s lead to 1, but Parrish was able to salvage the damage with a late goal to seal the win.

2. West Angola 1–3 The Holy Empire
West Angola’s second trip to the Dreamed Realm didn’t go much better than the first. The team was utterly outplayed by the number one team in any reality, and succumbed easily to the top seed. The match did provide much fodder for West Angola’s comedic industry relating to allegations from Lymantatia that Imperial keeper Alexius Ducaso distracted their keeper in the opener. Thursday Evening Taped ran a sketch that featured Parrish, Wilson, and Ducaso, and the two West Angolans being distracted from scoring by everything from Ducaso’s shiny white teeth to the brand of his cleats. The expected loss dropped West Angola to 1-0-1 before what they thought was a tune-up match against Kishrael.

3. West Angola 0–0 Kishrael
In what has been called “the worst night in West Angolan footballing history,” the team suffered a scoreless draw at home to a team ranked 314th. The match was notable as the high point of the feud between forwards Luke Parrish and Peter Wilson, as the two managed to resolve their differences before the next match. Following the match, Coach Phillip Garren suffered a heart attack and had to be taken to Immaculate Conception Hospital, and the team dropped to 1-1-1 heading into the key match against Starblaydia.

4. West Angola 1-0 Starblaydia
In a much-needed win following the Kishrael draw, West Angola upset Starblaydia on the road to claim key points in the race for second place. In Coach Garren’s absence, the team was overseen by Isaac Warren, who claimed his first win as a head coach. The win, which West Angolan forward Luke Parrish called “the best thing that I ever did- and that includes becoming King,” allowed West Angola to improve to 2-1-1 and close the gap between themselves and Starblaydia.

5. West Angola 3–1 Bloodbath Generation
In their first back-to-back wins of the tournament, West Angola easily defeated Bloodbath Generation at home to remain two points back of Starblaydia. Interim Coach Isaac Warren improved his record to 2-0-0 with a +3 goal differential as West Angola got set for their next hurdle: an away match against Lymantatia.

6. West Angola 0-2 Lymantatia
West Angolan dreams of a long winning streak, as well as Coach Warren’s undefeated record, came to an end as the team fell 2-0 to Lymantatia on the road. Coach Warren said in his post-match press conference that the team “failed to take [Lymantatia] seriously,” and that doing that was “a serious mistake.” The team fell to 3-1-2 with the loss, and Phillip Garren was cleared to return to coaching before the next match.

7. West Angola 2–0 Vettrera
West Angola recovered from the disappointing loss to Lymantatia with a 2-0 victory over Vettrera. The match, which was Coach Garren’s first since his heart attack, ran concurrently to the Starblaydia/Cambirano match, and West Angola received essentially a double win when it was announced that Cambirano had upset the visitors 3-2. With the win and the Starblaydian loss, West Angola improved to 4-1-2 and once again closed the gap between them and Starblaydia to just two points.

8. West Angola 2–1 Vakolic
In a second match running concurrently with a Starblaydian one, West Angola learned soon after its home win over Vakolic that Starblaydia had drawn with The Holy Empire 3-3 at home. Starblaydia had been expected to lose that match, so the announcement stunned many players and fans, who had expected to take a one-point lead following their win. With the result, West Angola improved to 5-1-2 and moved into a tie with Starblaydia for second place, each with sixteen points.

9. West Angola 0-0 Anollasia
In the final match of the initial leg of qualifying, West Angola suffered its second 0-0 draw of the tournament on the road at Anollasia. Just one week after moving into a tie for the second position in the group, West Angola saw itself fall back into third as Starblaydia defeated Kishrael 3-0. With the draw, West Angola went to 5-2-2, and finished the first half of qualifying with 17 points, third in the group, and two points behind Starblaydia.

---

Match Schedule:

1. vs. Cambirano W 3-1
2. at The Holy Empire L 1-3
3. vs. Kishrael D 0-0
4. at Starblaydia W 1-0
5. vs. Bloodbath Generation W 3-1
6. at Lymantatia L 0-2
7. vs. Vettrera W 2-0
8. vs. Vakolic W 2-1
9. at Anollasia D 0-0
-Bye-
10. at Cambirano
11. vs. The Holy Empire
12. at Kishrael
13. vs. Starblaydia
14. at Bloodbath Generation
15. vs. Lymantatia
16. at Vettera
17. at Vakolic
18. vs. Anollasia

Won (5) Drew (2) Lost (2) Should Win (7) Might Win (1) Toss-Up (0) Might Lose (0) Should Lose (1)

Projected Final Record: 13-2-3
Projected Group Finish: 3rd

[Silar]

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Silaran Evening Telegraph

First Half of Qualifying Matches Finished, Silar Ranked Third

OSARIUS --- The Chevaliers, Silar's national football team, played a hard match against Osarius Thursday evenings, finishing with no points to the superior team's two.

This loss at Osarius concludes the first half of the qualifying matches for a World Cup so far filled with controversy, excitement, and hope for the Silaran football community. In all accounts, the Chevaliers have done much better than expected with some key upsets against Qazox and Free South Califas, veteran teams ranked higher than Silar, which have propelled the Chevaliers from wallowing at the bottoms of the group rankings to becoming competitors for the top slots. Silar is currently ranked third in Group 17 with 16 points and a goal difference of +8.

"I think that today, we can attribute our current successes to the hard work and passion of the team and of the fans," said Sir Archibald Dent, the team's manager, "every game, I've watched the boys go out to stadiums of cheering fans and, win or lose, see them pour their hearts and souls into this endeavor. That alone, I would say, shows that this season has been a success for Silar's football community. We've shown the world that Silar is a team worth keeping an eye on this year and in the years to come."

The World Cup, however, has not been without controversy. On the eve of qualifying matches, the President of Silar's regulatory authority was exposed in a massive sporting world scandal that placed Silar in the Baptism of Fire twice. The President, Lord Balding, now faces corruption charges in what is becoming one of the most debated legal cases in the last couple years. Regardless of the verdict, it is a case that could very well work its way to the High Justiciary before resolution.

Silar opens up the next half of the qualifying matches with a match in Cap-Hinou, a game easily defeated at matchday 1, 5-0. The Chevaliers expect a repeat of the victory. The first home game will be in Camen City where the Chevaliers will face off against Tyrienne who drew with Silar in their last match, a draw they hope to make a win in their second face-off. They will play in the Grand Ducal Park a first in matches that have previously been held in Silar Demesne's Royal Stadium.

[Audioslavia]

Forced To The Fore
How will Audioslavia cope with the pressures of being the group's frontrunners?
What can our rivals do to stop us?
Jeremy Jaffacake puts Audioslavia and Group 13 under the microscope

Audioslavia
The Bulls, crowned Champions of Atlantian Oceania eighteen months ago, ranked a century-high of 53rd and in a group containing little in the way of established talent, were tipped by many to put up a proper challenge in group 13, after years of under-achieving in the qualifiers. As of halfway, the gauntlet has certainly been thrown down and expectations have been met with interest - Audioslavia are top of the table, three points clear of second placed Polar Islandstates, nine clear of an Akbarabad team that were supposed to run the Audioslavians close for a playoff spot, and have outpointed Audioslavia sides of the past four tournaments despite having only played half their games. Reality, however, is prone to bite over the coming months, and whether Israel Klimt's claret and green outfit have truly kicked on will be put to the test sooner or later. Anything taken away from the forthcoming visit to Polar Islandstates will be a given, and the Bulls will need to repeat their feat of overcoming Nethertopia, Jukenia, Traila and Fewmist if they want to go into the important encounter with Akbarabad with a retained, comfortable lead.

Polar Islandstates - Jaffacake's Prediction: 1st
The Terns had a terrible start to the campaign, underestimating a Fewmist side that had been shown sporadic signs of talent during the Baptism of Fire and succumbing to an embarassing home loss. That defeat, coupled with their capitulation away to a decent Mesoland side on matchday four has put a questionmark next to the Polarian's status of, officially, the eighth best team in the world. The visit of Audioslavia to Valhallan shores in late April will be an important one for both teams, and one feels that Polar Islandstates can ill-afford to be turned over for a third time if they want to seriously contend for top spot in the group.

Akbarabad - Jaffacake's Prediction: 4th
Akbarabad have shown every sign of a team in a stagnation period. Their starting eleven has barely changed since World Cup 57 - clocks in Akbarabad evidently turn more slowly than their defenders - and in capitulating to debutants Riyahda and a Traila side still showing signs of rust in their three-tournament absense from World Cup football they seem to have lost the edge of Akbarabadi sides past. They were inept in their home loss to Audioslavia and failed to put up any kind of a fight in a 4-1 battering by the Polarians, although their fightback against Liventia and grueling 1-0 victory against the impressive Jukenians hints that they could be on the verge of finally finding their form.

Jukenia - Jaffacake's Prediction: 5th
After witnessing the Jukenian's inspired performances in overcoming Traila and Fewmist on the opening matchdays, and their fighting spirit in scaring Audioslavia and Polar Islandstates in their first encounters with 'top' level play, most critics agree that the team in bright yellow would have had every chance of lifting the Baptism of Fire trophy had they been allowed to enter. Their fifteen points is more than twice the amount Audioslavia had gained in their first tournament on the scene, and that was after a Baptism of Fire championship and a hard-earned place in the final of the AOCAF cup. Their 4-3 victory over former three-times World Champions Liventia was a massive scalp for a side eager to make a name for themselves on the world stage and, if they are able to sort out their home form they could well finish above the Akbarabadis.

Mesoland - Jaffacake's Prediction: 3rd
Mesoland have been hit-and-miss so far, going from the tremendous high of out-playing and out-battling Polar Islandstates to the crushing lows of suffering defeat Jukenia and being held by a very ordinary Riyahda side. Their 'estimated position' at the culmination of the qualifying stage could truly be anywhere from second to second-to-last, although as it stands the men from the UEN need to find two more gears in the home stretch to even come out of the qualifying phase having done justice to their fourth-seeding in the group.

Riyahda - Jaffacake's Prediction: 7th
Riyahda came out of the Baptism of Fire tournament looking utterly ill-equipt to deal with the standards of international football, finishing second-bottom of their group and well off the pace even against the world's fledgling footballing nations, but the side still managed to shock the world with two victories over 'name' nations in the guise of Liventia and Akbarabad. Loss after loss followed, but their victory over the dangerous Jukenians hints at a team that can, on their day, match any team put in front of them.

Liventia - Jaffacake's Prediction: 6th
Technically three-time World Champions, although one has to go back a long way for Liventia/Liverpool England's last 'good' team, Liventian football has been in a rut on the international stage since this reporter can remember, all too often turned over by big and small teams alike and only rarely showing glimpses of talent that would be fitting for a nation of such rich footballing history. Their win over a decent Mesoland side remains their only real high point so far in the season that saw them ship 13 goals over two games with Audioslavia and Akbarabad. Liventia will, one day, find the long-lost recipe for success that was seemingly lost in the transition from Liv/Eng to Liven, but on their current showing that time isn't going to be soon.

The Others
Nethertopia are no strangers to the world of international football, but like the Liventians their current crop pale in comparison to sides of yesteryear, and the Nethertopians would surely be bottom of the table were it not for Fewmist. Fewmist may have been a surprise package in the Baptism of Fire, confounding expectations to finish top of their group, but their 6-0 annihalation by Kaledor revealed too many flaws - a skeleton-thin squad depth, a lack of imagination or fitness at this level, and it has shown. Their victory over Polar Islandstates was a fluke, despite how funny it was, and one feels that Fewmist are destined for the foot of the table. Last but not... last... are Traila, who's participation on the international stage is intermittent at best. Maria Christensen's boys are capable of taking a few scalps yet, but will need an extended run of international football if they ever hope to truly compete.

[Equestrian States]

Low Expectations
The Realistic Fan Site for Equestrian States Sports

Halfway Gone: The Mid-Qualifying Review/Preview
By Downtrodden Crankyface

  Group 11                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Yesopalitha                 9    8   0   1    15    5  +10    24
 2 Carpathia and Ruthenia      9    5   2   2    20   11   +9    17
 3 Equestrian States           9    5   1   3    17    6  +11    16
 4 Megadia                     9    4   3   2    12    8   +4    15
 5 Estope                      9    4   1   4    20   22   -2    13
 6 Blouman Empire              9    4   1   4    20   15   +5    13
 7 The Pazhujeb Islands        9    3   1   5    13   17   -4    10
 8 Royalsoldiers               9    2   3   4    14   18   -4     9
 9 Argo Islands                9    2   2   5    11   18   -7     8
10 Legokiller                  9    1   0   8    14   36  -22     3

Two months ago, I said in my preview that the Equestrian States would probably finish somewhere between fourth and sixth in group eleven. Now, nine qualifying matches later, the Ponies are but three points above (you guessed it) sixth place. The difference maker in this case was the MD2 victory over the Pazhujeb Islands, a game I had expected the Equestrians to lose. Had they lost that game, the Ponies would actually be in seventh right now thanks to the H2H tiebreaker.

Meanwhile, the halfwits at the Equestrian Sports Programming Network (ESPN) predicted the Equestrians to have an absurdly optimistic 22 points. What a joke! Yes they got the lucky draw against Carpathia and Ruthenia right, but they missed the losses to Megadia and Estope! Granted, even I missed the loss to Estope, but injuries plaguing the Equestrian roster made it possible, and I said so in my preview. Anyways, on to the review of the first half…

Match Day 1: Equestrian States 5-0 Legokiller
The Ponies started off their qualifying campaign with a win, much as they had in their last few campaigns. However, unlike the upset last year in Darmen, this match was against Legokiller, a team that has since become the punching bag of the group. The match also started a peculiar trend by the Equestrians: their injuries. After losing Rapid Dash, Stronghoof, and Ice Block on a single play, the Ponies failed to produce on the offense and gave up several opportunities on defense.

Match Day 2: The Pazhujeb Islands 0-1 Equestrian States
Travelling to the Pazhujeb Islands, the Equestrians struggled mightily in a match that I had predicted them to lose. The team’s weaknesses were showing, and only a late goal by Thunderlane gave the Ponies a low-quality win against a team that had them outplayed for the majority of the match.

Match Day 3: Equestrian States 2-1 Blouman Empire
Returning home, the Equestrian States looked to foolishly reassert themselves and failed horribly. Although the Equestrians won the match off yet another late Thunderlane goal, the Ponies looked unable to play at a high level and were doubtlessly on their way to a defeat.

Match Day 4: Equestrian States 0-1 Megadia
One week after looking like fools, the Equestrians worsened their already deteriorating image by falling flat against Megadia. I wasn’t surprised by the loss, but the idiots on ESPN made it out to be an upset, so ponies treated it like it was the apocalypse. The match was boring for the most part, and frankly not worth the money I had to spend to watch it.

Match Day 5: Royalsoldiers 0-3 Equestrian States
Fortunately for the Ponies, their next opponent was the Royish national team. Apparently I angered a ton of their fans by my comments in my preview, and I doubt that was helped by the solid 3-0 beating the Equestrians handed them in front of their own people.

Match Day 6: Equestrian States 4-0 Argo Islands
It was another dull match for the Ponies against the Argo Islanders. A fairly predictable 4-0 win against a low-ranked, unpromising side doesn’t make for an interesting day at the stadium.

Match Day 7: Yesopalitha 1-0 Equestrian States
The loss was as predictable as any other. Without many of their starters, the Equestrians were doomed from the start against a clearly superior side. It didn’t help that they were playing at a stadium that can fit more than two times the capacity of some of the largest of those in the Equestrian States.

Match Day 8: Equestrian States 1-1 Carpathia and Ruthenia
The draw against Carpathia and Ruthenia was lucky. Like against the Yesopalithans, the Equestrians looked like schoolcolts against a clearly superior side. However, mistakes made by the visitors allowed the Ponies to stay in it and eventually score a lucky goal to tie it.

Match Day 9: Estope 1-0 Equestrian States
Looking for an easy win to close out the first half, and perhaps give the team a boost heading into their friendly with Armed Bears and further on into the second half of qualifying, the Equestrian States went to Estope. What they came out with was two critical injuries to a squad already missing more than ten players. Team captain Fire Dash and star goalkeeper High Soarin’ both suffered significant injuries, and the Ponies promptly failed in just about every way possible on their way to a 2-1 defeat.

Second Half Preview: Downward-Trending Equines
With nearly half her roster out with injuries, head coach Twilight Striker will have to call up no fewer than five players to play for the Ponies. Although there are a reasonable number of hoofball players in the Equestrian States, few have experience playing on the international stage. The players most likely to make it onto the national team are those that have been booted from the team in the past (including the infamous goalkeeper, Stevenson) and those that have played on the lower-level national squads such as the U-17 team.
This weak pot of talent to draw from is one of the reasons that I’ve said repeatedly that the Equestrians are past their prime and are on their way back down the rankings chart. The short-term case of the Equestrian States isn’t helped by the fact that national team rookie Rainbow Blitz is the only player left on the team who started in their first match against Legokiller. Speculation as to who will be called up to bolster the faltering Ponies is running rampant on the overanalyzing and overconfident news sites like ESPN, where they’re actually putting betting numbers on who will make it to the national team. The main concern I have isn’t who will be playing for the Equestrians, but who they will be playing against. Taking the severe injuries suffered by the Ponies’ players into account, I have slightly revised my original predictions for how the group will finish...

Yesopalitha is still the obvious favorite, having just a single match throughout the first half of qualifying. Carpathia and Ruthenia appear to be rebounding after a difficult start, and will likely have no difficulties smashing the Ponies when they go to visit. Megadia started off strong, sneaking into the top two slots for a couple weeks before falling behind again. Since then, the fourth seed has made a comeback and will likely continue their upward trend. The Blouman Empire has turned a few heads with strong performances against the Equestrian States, Yesopalitha, and Carpathia and Ruthenia, I foresee them making significant strides in the rankings after qualifying ends. The Equestrians have been terrible in their last three matches, going 0-1-2 to end the first half. With practically all experienced players suffering from long-term injuries, they are unlikely to continue to contend in the group.

Finishing below the Equestrians, I have the Pazhujeb Islands. Originally I thought that the team would come out swinging for a return to the World Cup, but I’ve since reconsidered. While I don’t see the Pazhujeb Islands back in the Cup this year, I’m confident that they are a team on their way back to the top and will finish the qualifiers stronger than they started. Estope has surprised me. Despite their pathetic performance in the last World Cup, their team has proven themselves competent and able to play on larger stages. Royalsoldiers is also a surprise, but only because they aren’t in dead last. However, I don’t see them doing well in the second half, and I expect them to be in the bottom three when all of this is done. The Argo Islands have been forgettable, so I don’t see them as a contender for a final spot in Group 11’s top half. Finally, Legokiller has been terrible. Allowing 36 goals in nine matches, Legokiller officially has the worst defense of any team in any qualifying group. They might get a draw somewhere, but they’ve only shown themselves unable to stop anything from finding the back of the net.

Group 11 Predictions: Final Records
1st - Yesopalitha (16-1-1; 49 pts.) - Automatic Qualification
2nd - Carpathia and Ruthenia (13-3-2; 42 pts.) - Advances to Playoffs
3rd - Megadia (10-4-4; 34 pts.)
4th - Blouman Empire (10-2-6; 32 pts.)
5th - Equestrian States (9-2-7; 29 pts.)
6th - The Pazhujeb Islands (7-2-9; 23 pts.)
7th - Estope (7-1-10; 22 pts.)
8th - Royalsoldiers (3-4-11; 13 pts.)
9th - Argo Islands (3-3-12; 12 pts.)
10th - Legokiller (1-0-17; 3 pts.)

Sorry for the depth of this RP. I’m not feeling particularly inspired right now, and I’m more than a little worn out, so it’s all I can come up with. In terms of time, this would be before my friendly match against Armed Bears. Thus, the below roster is for that match and the one against Legokiller.

Starting XI: Equestrian States vs. Armed Bears (Friendly) -and- Equestrian States @ Legokiller (MD10)
GK - Gentle Breeze* (replaces High Soarin’)
DF - Blackmane* (replaces Subtle Trix)
DF - Antonio Randall*
DF - Ironclaw*
MF - Carrot Cake*
MF - Apple Pie*
MF - Rainbow Blitz (replaces Fire Dash as Captain)
MF - Blazing Fire*
FW - Blaze* (replaces Fire Dash)
FW - Katherine Everdeen*
FW - Sonar*

* - Replaces Injured Player

Injured Players: Starters: High Soarin’ (GK), Flitter (DF), Stronghoof (DF), Andrea Molovi (DF), Starlight Sparkle (MF), Rapid Dash (MF), Cloudchaser (MF), Apple Jack (MF), Fire Dash (FW), Thunderlane (FW); Reserves: Ice Block (DF), Subtle Trix (DF), Candace Rivers (MF), Lightning Bolt (MF), Quick Bolt (FW)

[Sandwich Territories]

Here lies Ann Jacobs Ments

1981-2013

".........It happened. It was going to happened, and it did."

"Tonight is the night I dedicate my career to her. I'm going to do it all, ma."

".....We'll honor her. I'll get something going for her."

"That means a lot to me, Jon.....it really does."

"This team is like a family, we look out for each other."

"Jon, you old soft serve, for right now, we gotta think about kicking ass for Mama Ments."

"Let's do it."

[Darmen]

Darmen Times Newsbites
Darmen closes Embassy in Hippostania, Ambassador comes home safely

Following a rather poor show of competence, Hippostania reacted in an unusual way following the passage of Security Council Resolution #107, which condemed the nation for several violations of World Assembly legislation. Several hundred ambassadors and embassy staff were arrested by Hippostanian officials, as SC Resolution #107 was passed by the slim margin of 133 votes. Only nations which supported the Resolution had their ambassadors and embassy staff arrested, and Darmen was one of them.

Ambassador Ultan Mac Mathghamhna, and his staff of thirty were arrested, and detained for only a matter of hours, before being released. Minister of Foreign Affairs and Relations, Alfredo Albaladejo, sent this communique to the Hippostanian government, securing the release of the Ambassador and his staff. The Ambassador and staff then returned to the Darmeni Embassy, gathered or burned all official documents, and boarded a chartered plane returning to Darmen. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Relations closed the Embassy in Hippostania, and has broken all ties with the nation.

"If they thought we were actually going to go along with their plan of compromise, well, all I can do is laugh at that thought. Did they even look at our flag?" commented Minister Albaladejo.

Prime Minister Scat Peari has not as of yet made any comments regarding the situation, and neither has brand new Duke Lyons the XXth. They are expected to make some sort of remarks as soon as tomorrow regarding the situation.

Constitutional Convention reconvenes

The National Constitutional Convention reconvened in Scott City for the first time since Duke Francisco Lyons the XIXths death. While the convention is just now begining to enter into the early stages of writing a final draft of the new Constitution, some details are still under debate. The main issues revolve around the Supreme Court and the Executive branch, but these issues should be resolved soon.

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Former All Green, Lyons the XXIst, choses career in Military

Heir to the Throne, and former All Green's midfielder, Francisco Lyons the XXIst, has made his decision to join the Army. According to Royal Tradition, Heir's must either enter the Ministry as a Forden Priest, or serve as a member of the Military. The twenty-first Francisco Lyons has decided to become an officer in the Military, and will not follow in his fathers footsteps. He will begin four years of studying at the Darmeni Army Academy in Scott City.

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[Super-Llamaland]

Bryan Ferguson stared at the roster. He tried to make another for the easy game versus Kericia, and more importantly, for the harder and more important games beyond.

Today on LlamaTalk, we'll join him! I'm Kenny Perkins with Mike McDowell, a featured columnist, and team official Sam Hayes.\

Mike: We'll start at goalie. Kenny, you know Tyson Richards isn't ready for a couple more games, and Blake Bennett just is a no. What do you think about Nick DeJesus for a good chunk of the remaining tournament until Richard can give 101%?

Kenny: No question Bryan Ferguson will use DeJesus, but I'm not sure if we can rely on him in the playoffs. It might be time to cut losses and exchange Bennett for a B-Team veteran like Lionel Garcia-Gomez.

Sam: You're right there, Bennett is not ready for the international stage.

Mike: So- swap out Bennett for somebody else. Next, the atrocious defense. Who's to blame?

Kenny: Everybody, and the subs and B-Teamers aren't much better. James and Campbell have to stay, but Jefferson, the worst offender, should be switched for Joe Evans.

Sam: Evans hasn't been too good this year. Try Jack Miller. What about the offense and midfield?

Mike: I'm not tinkering with that. We can't risk sacrificing our core- our offense.

Kenny: All right, well, see you tomorrow!

[Mesoland]

(OOC: Deviating from the article style RP for a bit, sorry about the length once again.)

"No chance!"

"I still think we're in with a chance."

"We're going to need some incredible luck. Looks like another qualification disappointment and Cup of Harmony failure."

"If we even qualify for the Cup of Harmony."

"Exactly. We really aren't having much luck in the world of football."

"Our 3rd World Cup and not a single qualification."

"Tell me about it. I'm almost sure our defence is completely to blame."

"Giazanba needs to stop picking Ugadu and Natasu. Why not try George Ashanti at centre back?"

"He plays for Columbia Wanderers, he's never getting picked by Giazanba. The old fart's got too much bias against them thanks to his spell managing the Jets."

"Aye, that's a fair point. If the lad were to move up into the Premier League, which with his talent he undoubtedly will, it would be a totally different story."

"Shame that our own national side manager feels as if he can't pick a Wanderers' player because of his history."

"It's also the fact that they're in the Championship."

"Not for long. Wouldn't be surprised if they move up in the next season or two."

"Still wouldn't change his opinions. Unfortunately, he's too good to sack, he just needs to be more sensible about who he picks."

"Agreed. I mean, he knows what he's doing and all. But if we fail to qualify during the next two cups, I honestly think it would be for the best that we have a switch-around."

"He certainly can't be allowed to continue if we don't even reach the qualification playoffs in the next two cups, for sure."

"After that point, I think some sort of change is definitely needed. Maybe some foreign influence?"

"Maybe a Starblaydi manager?"

"Hahaha, in our dreams."

"We can wish upon a star."

"At least we don't sack our managers willy nilly like Slembana."

"No, it's important to remain consistent with your manager, unless your results seriously start to drop because of the manager and his or her style."

"I'd love to see a female manager. Think Kidderton Lions in League 2 have a female manager?"

"No, she was only caretaker, and she was replaced by Hirako Makasaki."

"Oh, that Mishu guy. He's not a bad manager as it turns out."

"Odd country to be from, Mishuland."

"Not really a footballing nation. Think their national sport is something obscure like baseball?"

"Baseball or hockey, never remember which one."

"Yeah, weird... Imagine Mesos playing baseball."

"Aye, cricket is strange enough without the bat being cylindrical like it is in baseball."

"Definitely."

"Bugger, the missus is calling me. A Mr Djemba is asking for me on her mobile, apparently."

"Odd. Have fun with Mr D."

"See you tomorrow Alex."

"Bye!"

[Falconwhereveryouare]

The Eagle's Eye
Still in business, somehow!
SPORTS
Dashed

Well, the first half of qualifying is over, and I think it's fair to say the dashéd nations have wrapped up Group 8 summarily. Gyatso-kai and Kiryu-shi both sitting pretty atop the standings at 8-1-0 records, Gyatso-kai only slightly ahead on goal difference after their 8-2 destruction of Mirelesin. They both hold a ten point lead over the Falcons, who have a not-terrible-but-still-disappointing 4-3-2 record. Even if they hadn't dropped 6 points in ties with Mirelesin, Conclepsia, and High Heels, the potential four-point deficit would be difficulty to make up with the current levels of play by the dashéd nations. Not that a dash will guarantees success, in some corollary to the Cabañas Effect, as shown by the curious case of Ko-oren. By this point, they're just hoping to not finish 5th again, even though they should have been contenders for playoff spots in the last few Qualifiers. Back to Group 8, Backyard Sports is having quite the turnaround season. Barring their recent loss to Vivedin, they've been doing much better than anyone expected, sitting in the 4th spot many expected to be occupied by Conclepsia. Conclepsia themselves aren't particularly failing and, as well as High Heels, are doing about as 'meh' as most people suspected while floating in the midtable. Torisakia, Vivedin, Savski Venac and Mirelesin round out the bottom of the group as expected.

The match against Kiryu-shi was hardly exciting. The Kiri seemed determined to shut down our offense, sacrificing making any real runs in our half to ensure we couldn't have any in theirs. As their team is already defensively-minded, they pulled that off extremely well. Will Feingold and Ian McGuinness had Edwardo Baez double-teamed for pretty much the entire match, ensuring that he never had enough room to dribble or pass with enough authority to spark a drive. Between Hikari Takenomi and Jasper Keith, the Falcons' natural weakness in the wings, and Perry Dempsy not getting any younger, the right side of the field was pretty much off-limits. Hikari Takenomi has been noted as letting the occasional talented attacker get around her, but Chester Highfield isn't exactly the type to run circles around defenders. She had him tightly marked, and he could never get open or find a better position. Our hopes rested upon Darry Kouzmanoff, Leon McClain, and Art Jarrel taking control of the center aisle. Well, when you have to deal with the athletic and tactical prowess of Lilly Yume and Bernice Pitri's aggressive challenges in the midfield, charges tend to be aborted well before reasonable shooting range. The closest the Falcons got to a goal--indeed, their only shot on goal--was when an expertly placed through ball off the foot of McClain set up a shot for Jarrel, catching him at a point when Yume was on the wrong side. Unfortunately, it seemed the nationalist roar that came up from the crowd at that very moment broke his concentration. Looking back at the video, you can see his head raise just slightly--as if looking into the lower levels of the stands--just before his shot banged off the crossbar, went straight into the air, and nestled into the top of the net.

It's not overly difficult to contain the offense of the Kiri for an extended period of time. With just two forwards and a pseudo-attacking midfielder, Boris Halth had the Falconian half pretty much sealed off for much of the match. But they only need one. That one perfect pass, at the perfect moment, just as it had been drawn on the chalkboard before the game. A long pass from McGuinness finds Tziganes d'Arányi midway into the Falcon half, she manages to hold off Joaquin Pelletier long enough for Enéh d'Erdélyi to get into position at the top of the box. Halth was caught just a bit too far away to pressure d'Erdélvi's shot, while Somer Liean had redirect himself after making mad run back to the box only to realize he could do nothing at that angle but knock her down and force a penalty. She found the top-left corner of the Falconian goal, well beyond the reach of Somer Lann. After that, well the Kiris did what they do best. Fall back and hold the lead.

Falconwhereveryouare - 0
Kiryu-shi - 1
Enéh d'Erdélyi, 68'