Rap Battle Thread

[Darqastan]

this seems to be just asking for a warning, but here goes!


quit it with the baggy pants its so faggy
because they are a sign in prison
that you take it from the big guy
in the shower like a chicken

jusso you know, this is all joke

I did not understand even a word at all
I admit, I am appalled
It sounds like a narwhal
barfing out a meatball
You're a goofball
People would just lawl
Even Charles de Gaulle
Would be forced to bawl
Come on, look at me, do you have the gall
Look in my eyeball
You'd be incinerated like a fireball
I would leave you enthralled
But I can't; it's nightfall
Good night you all

[DRJagon]

anybody can the best typing, seriously, no gripping
its enlightening that you faggots are softer than bunnies fighting
thats something striking, like my fist of a wise king
so I advise thee, to have your grip around a weapon... tightly
'cause I squash you insects like the boat of Erik the Viking

[Meryuma]

Sorry to be tardy, but at least now I'm present
Immortal just got the closest out of any of yall to makin' me evanescent
That ain't happinin' I'm permanent

Meryuma, mister-man-love
Step up and I'll Sparta kick you back down the hole you crawled out of
What;s that on your flag, a dove?
I got a place where you can get it shoved
Right up your asshole, then you ought to feel real loved
Now, cry, cause you're about to get aboved.

Hmm...hmm...Meryuma
Is that the guy who freaks out on NSG like he's a malignant tumor?
Sorry bud, test results were negative
You ain't nothin' but a sedative
I'm stimulative get things goin' quick
People hear me an' you?
High and a low, they can't make it through
Heart freaks out, they wonder how I do it
Got your momma overdosing on more than my crack rock
At night I'm the reason she undoes the lock

Don't get high off your own supply
Guess that means your mom is only mine
I know you're the type
That'd hit that while it was over ripe
But incest made you, or was that a test tube?

Now, NSLV, you seem to be forgotten
Talking of quail and your self assumed perfection
Just shut up and taste my ejaculate confection
"Num num...taste like chicken"
Now you rap like you Wicken
I wana know what shrooms you be lickin'
Actin' like you sickin'
Reality you bitchin'
Cryin' while you spittin'
Temper tantrumin' and fittin'
Just sit and be quiet NS, while the true members of this contest
Duke it out and see who's the best.

You think you succeed at mocking me?
Ha! You make a mockery
Of rap, you are the wackest on the planet
An accomplished feat
Ultimately, you could never ever have a shot at being
Even respected merely as an entertaining oddity

[DRJagon]

Also, why the fuck all ya'll wastin' time writin' long ass raps?
it's pitiful like watching vaginal birth and it mishaps
so perhaps, I'm the doctor that has that baby and bitch slaps
the shit outta you, your mom and your father for big laughs
makin' ya'll look back on ya'lls life.. I call ya Peter Griffin
no jokes here though, compared to mine, ya'lls Peter missin'
fuckin' toilets, thinkin' its the pussy you eatin'
but its your mouth bein' pissed in

[Yuktova]

Also, why the fuck all ya'll wastin' time writin' long ass raps?
it's pitiful like watching vaginal birth and it mishaps
so perhaps, I'm the doctor that has that baby and bitch slaps
the shit outta you, your mom and your father for big laughs
makin' ya'll look back on ya'lls life.. I call ya Peter Griffin
no jokes here though, compared to mine, ya'lls Peter missin'
fuckin' toilets, thinkin' its the pussy you eatin'
but its your mouth bein' pissed in

You got as much music talent as Chuck fucking Norris!
You a musician? Man, that's kinda stretching.
You write lyrics that make no sense!
You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack, your out of practice!
You'll be good at rapping someday, I promise bro,
Just leave it to us pros!

[Tkdkidsx2]

I figured I would throw my hat in,
but never the towel, y'all.
Lost but not broken,
tossed but not open,
I've survived all this,
just so you could come along and hit this.

[The Alchemists Guild]

Call them punch lines?
then mine must be kick lines
'cos all your lines sound like nursery rhymes
and all I rap is sick lines
and when they play my beats in the clubs I get a million rewinds
so you better mind-out
before I pull my nines-out
and you find-out
who you're dealing with bitch

[The Cookish States]

I'm bout to take the title whisk it
You heard me bitches, drop the biscuit
All y'all'll do is tsk tsk it
Call all the mall cause it's capital loans you can risk it
Y'all can make like Step Brothers white turd-lickit.
Your next phase of raps I cn tell ya where to stick it
Up your backyard, fence ain't picket
Run lika Whippet, keep bitchin' go 'head and lip it

Bout to make y'all like Rasputin
Chop off the dick and leave blood spewtin'
Darn tootin' cash lootin' stealing the salad from your croutin'
So it's the fiddler up top flutin'
Out the norm and in front of the crowd rootin'
Hootin' and hollering
I get attention from all them barring
The outliers NSLV and Immortal har-harring
But it's them I'll be feather and tarring
Cause guess what, this is 8 Mile 2 with me starring

Bitches

[Imm0rtal Kn0wledge]

I'm bout to take the title whisk it
You heard me bitches, drop the biscuit
All y'all'll do is tsk tsk it
Call all the mall cause it's capital loans you can risk it
Y'all can make like Step Brothers white turd-lickit.
Your next phase of raps I cn tell ya where to stick it
Up your backyard, fence ain't picket
Run lika Whippet, keep bitchin' go 'head and lip it

Bout to make y'all like Rasputin
Chop off the dick and leave blood spewtin'
Darn tootin' cash lootin' stealing the salad from your croutin'
So it's the fiddler up top flutin'
Out the norm and in front of the crowd rootin'
Hootin' and hollering
I get attention from all them barring
The outliers NSLV and Immortal har-harring
But it's them I'll be feather and tarring
Cause guess what, this is 8 Mile 2 with me starring

Bitches

Wanna be rabbit, 8 mile don't need a sequel
So full of crap, you're spittin albino turds on people
In this thread, it is very clear I have no equal
Not Diabetic, just apathetic to the feeble

It has been a cool minute since I've been here
You guys aren't on my level, certainly not my peer
Got my rubber in your teeth from the kick in the rear
Not stepbrother, I'm your stepfather, your mom's callin me dear

Have no fear, I stay alive like Highlander
Dominating nations and states I'm Alexander
Dust you off my shoulder, you're just pet dander
Leave you seeing stars like a Mars lander

All my lines spell danger like Robot B-9 lost in space
So save face, your allies race to retreat to your home-base
Construct additional pylons, if you think that can help your case
I will still eradicate and humiliate, I won't leave a trace

You dis-grace, like Will spitting verbal bile
Eat your brains off the tile, Walking Dead style
I won't even assimilate, resistance is futile
Just put the M-14 to your dome, Private Gomer Pyle

Refrences aside, my flows are full of hate
Say my name to instigate? Expect me to get irate
This is not a debate, you moron, you just sealed your fate
You obviously don't value your life, so... allow me to alleviate.

[Imm0rtal Kn0wledge]

Call them punch lines?
then mine must be kick lines
'cos all your lines sound like nursery rhymes
and all I rap is sick lines
and when they play my beats in the clubs I get a million rewinds
so you better mind-out
before I pull my nines-out
and you find-out
who you're dealing with bitch

Better make like your dad after knockin up your mom and split
Better stick to beats, those "kick lines" wont make you shit
Especially when you end three bars with the same shit
Stealing my punch lines, yet you can't even make them fit

My lines are down to forward punch... Hadoken!
Oh?! You're sick? Pop that chicken noodle open
Game over fool. Insert your next token
I can piss on your head, and you'd just let it soak in

I'm not joking, like you pulling 9's
Unless it sprays water during summertimes
With a flow like that, give up and fill out some 1-9's
Just remember, I like my Limeade from Sonic with no rines

[Meryuma]

I'm bout to take the title whisk it
You heard me bitches, drop the biscuit
All y'all'll do is tsk tsk it
Call all the mall cause it's capital loans you can risk it
Y'all can make like Step Brothers white turd-lickit.
Your next phase of raps I cn tell ya where to stick it
Up your backyard, fence ain't picket
Run lika Whippet, keep bitchin' go 'head and lip it

Bout to make y'all like Rasputin
Chop off the dick and leave blood spewtin'
Darn tootin' cash lootin' stealing the salad from your croutin'
So it's the fiddler up top flutin'
Out the norm and in front of the crowd rootin'
Hootin' and hollering
I get attention from all them barring
The outliers NSLV and Immortal har-harring
But it's them I'll be feather and tarring
Cause guess what, this is 8 Mile 2 with me starring

Bitches

Wanna be rabbit, 8 mile don't need a sequel
So full of crap, you're spittin albino turds on people
In this thread, it is very clear I have no equal
Not Diabetic, just apathetic to the feeble

It has been a cool minute since I've been here
You guys aren't on my level, certainly not my peer
Got my rubber in your teeth from the kick in the rear
Not stepbrother, I'm your stepfather, your mom's callin me dear

Have no fear, I stay alive like Highlander
Dominating nations and states I'm Alexander
Dust you off my shoulder, you're just pet dander
Leave you seeing stars like a Mars lander

All my lines spell danger like Robot B-9 lost in space
So save face, your allies race to retreat to your home-base
Construct additional pylons, if you think that can help your case
I will still eradicate and humiliate, I won't leave a trace

You dis-grace, like Will spitting verbal bile
Eat your brains off the tile, Walking Dead style
I won't even assimilate, resistance is futile
Just put the M-14 to your dome, Private Gomer Pyle

Refrences aside, my flows are full of hate
Say my name to instigate? Expect me to get irate
This is not a debate, you moron, you just sealed your fate
You obviously don't value your life, so... allow me to alleviate.

Rabid flow, 28 days later they can't find your corpse
Of course I kick an MC with more force than a horse
Your stiff-ass flow gives you reason to hate me
You'll end up in a tomb because your post is a gravedig

[Imm0rtal Kn0wledge]

Rabid flow, 28 days later they can't find your corpse
Of course I kick an MC with more force than a horse
Your stiff-ass flow gives you reason to hate me
You'll end up in a tomb because your post is a gravedig

I hate you no more than flies or roaches
I'm too ferocious, you need rhyme coaches
Only time the flow is stiff by any dosage
If it's served by fine dime topless hostess

I use more force when taking the average shit
28 months later, and still you can't spit
I am about to give you the only props you ever get
You're BBC to a virgin, on this thread you just don't fit

You flow is weak, like an old man with a bad prostate
You do more than suck, punk you aspirate
I don't just burn, I incinerate, cremate, and conflagrate
This thread is in good hands, bitch I'm Allstate

[Hurdegaryp]

Learned about this crap on the Grave Dig thread
Saw another opportunity to turn the sky bloody red
Once I drank champagne while humanity bled
But playtime is over; time to be worse than bad

Totalitarian control cannot stop my deranged antics
You won't catch me gushing over some chick-flic
For many I may not be more than a petulant prick
Mind you, I'm just warming up for things to get sick

Hell hath no fury like a deathgrinding troll unleashed
All fools shall fall to serve as chow for daemonic feasts
For those that underestimate my unspeakable inner beast
Your bodily fluids shall have my infernal gears well greased!

[Imm0rtal Kn0wledge]

So lucky i need rest for beauty and dreamin
Or i would flow so nice it leave your girl creamin
So get that lube in your ass and prepare for reaming
I'll leave your hole gleaming streaming and teaming with seamen

Wait till i wake up, here is just a taste
Hoping on this thread. Fucking mistake ace
I will just delete this and hit backspace
Notify next of kin, wake at your place

[Free South Califas]

Stand aside, man, cause my raps is kind of seminal,
I point out the liars and dissect a politics hegeminal,
I spit real shit before I make up drugs like rapsofenadyl,
Then I retire and watch my stock rise up with burning retinal.

You've seen me here and there with a lot of shit to say,
But I'm up here rappin harder cause you and me don't got all day,
When I arrive and strike the mic you know that I'm not here to play,
So give up on all that foolishness, I'll send you on your way. Okay?

Check my rhyme scheme, I don't need a dream team.
Is the face of neoliberalism on a Charlie Sheen?
Or are things a little deeper in the median and mean?
From the crop will inevitably rise up cream.
Give it time, know what I mean? Know what I mean?

[Meryuma]

Rabid flow, 28 days later they can't find your corpse
Of course I kick an MC with more force than a horse
Your stiff-ass flow gives you reason to hate me
You'll end up in a tomb because your post is a gravedig

I hate you no more than flies or roaches
I'm too ferocious, you need rhyme coaches
Only time the flow is stiff by any dosage
If it's served by fine dime topless hostess

I use more force when taking the average shit
28 months later, and still you can't spit
I am about to give you the only props you ever get
You're BBC to a virgin, on this thread you just don't fit

You flow is weak, like an old man with a bad prostate
You do more than suck, punk you aspirate
I don't just burn, I incinerate, cremate, and conflagrate
This thread is in good hands, bitch I'm Allstate

I write rhymes no sweat, not syndicalist
Anti-civ ideologue stompin on these primitives
2deep4u, I'll take you 4 million leagues down
I'm in a chromed out submersible just to see you drownin'
I'm toxic like the Everglades, the illest verses ever made
I carry with me 7 blades in case I need to sever brains
'Cos I'm the savior of the state of the nation
I'll use your blood to power my acqueduct installation

[DRJagon]

Learned about this crap on the Grave Dig thread
Saw another opportunity to turn the sky bloody red
Once I drank champagne while humanity bled
But playtime is over; time to be worse than bad

Totalitarian control cannot stop my deranged antics
You won't catch me gushing over some chick-flic
For many I may not be more than a petulant prick
Mind you, I'm just warming up for things to get sick

Hell hath no fury like a deathgrinding troll unleashed
All fools shall fall to serve as chow for daemonic feasts
For those that underestimate my unspeakable inner beast
Your bodily fluids shall have my infernal gears well greased!

Your rhymes are a virgin hand and your message is his dick
the movement of his masturbation describes you kid
and those "deranged antics"? is when your pee hole spews shit
inner beast? daemonic feasts? I really think you confuse it
strap a bomb to your chest with no option of defusin'
no chance for your shitty style to be recouped bitch
I'll bring sharp lyrics like a sharp edge when your tooth chips
to kill, I bust one shot, you bust two clips
you sprung off cock, this dude quite clueless
like disappear act and a ho on mission.. better poof trick.

[L Ron Cupboard]

You American chaps play sports like complete boundahs
You call it baseball we all know it's rounders

[Meryuma]

You American chaps play sports like complete boundahs
You call it baseball we all know it's rounders

[Imm0rtal Kn0wledge]

I write rhymes no sweat, not syndicalist
Anti-civ ideologue stompin on these primitives
2deep4u, I'll take you 4 million leagues down
I'm in a chromed out submersible just to see you drownin'
I'm toxic like the Everglades, the illest verses ever made
I carry with me 7 blades in case I need to sever brains
'Cos I'm the savior of the state of the nation
I'll use your blood to power my acqueduct installation

I will lyrically command and conquer any aquatic system
See chrome glisten while I compromise your nautical position
At my decision, syndicate operatives eradicate foreign opposition
Resistance is futility, high probability of supression and submission

Full scale assault targets 7 key installations in 70 nations
Blades evidence of methods primitive, ineffective for elimination
My lines produce nuclear detonation, contamination with high radiation
Flawless demonstration with no perspiration nor hesitation, inducing supreme annihilation

Did you forget what the fuck I can do just using one hand
Rhymes induce mortal insanity, even elder gods can't understand
How I lyrically molded the fabric of reality before time began
Never rap to full potential, this galaxy could not withstand

[Meryuma]

I write rhymes no sweat, not syndicalist
Anti-civ ideologue stompin on these primitives
2deep4u, I'll take you 4 million leagues down
I'm in a chromed out submersible just to see you drownin'
I'm toxic like the Everglades, the illest verses ever made
I carry with me 7 blades in case I need to sever brains
'Cos I'm the savior of the state of the nation
I'll use your blood to power my acqueduct installation

I will lyrically command and conquer any aquatic system
See chrome glisten while I compromise your nautical position
At my decision, syndicate operatives eradicate foreign opposition
Resistance is futility, high probability of supression and submission

Full scale assault targets 7 key installations in 70 nations
Blades evidence of methods primitive, ineffective for elimination
My lines produce nuclear detonation, contamination with high radiation
Flawless demonstration with no perspiration nor hesitation, inducing supreme annihilation

Did you forget what the fuck I can do just using one hand
Rhymes induce mortal insanity, even elder gods can't understand
How I lyrically molded the fabric of reality before time began
Never rap to full potential, this galaxy could not withstand

I take it back to reality, exposing all your fallacies
And when I'm through with you you will have forgotten how to breathe
I exhale the dust of the ages, I've arisen from the grave
Ran shit for five millenia so you can't say shit
Atlantean emperor, I'm seeing through all time
The rap dismemberer, I'm eating through your false rhymes
Halfway between a killer and a rebuilder
The rawest out there 'cause I'm speaking unfiltered

[DRJagon]

Stand aside, man, cause my raps is kind of seminal,
I point out the liars and dissect a politics hegeminal,
I spit real shit before I make up drugs like rapsofenadyl,
Then I retire and watch my stock rise up with burning retinal.

You've seen me here and there with a lot of shit to say,
But I'm up here rappin harder cause you and me don't got all day,
When I arrive and strike the mic you know that I'm not here to play,
So give up on all that foolishness, I'll send you on your way. Okay?

Check my rhyme scheme, I don't need a dream team.
Is the face of neoliberalism on a Charlie Sheen?
Or are things a little deeper in the median and mean?
From the crop will inevitably rise up cream.
Give it time, know what I mean? Know what I mean?

I beg of you to never type rap again, relax kid
that shit was weak like you need a laxative
put your head to your monitor and bash it in
your bitch ass maskin' fist like a beat up pacifist
those rhymes you got are the definition of what disaster is
not in a good way you passive bitch, ask some shit
go learn lessons on this game and come back when you master it

[Imm0rtal Kn0wledge]

I will lyrically command and conquer any aquatic system
See chrome glisten while I compromise your nautical position
At my decision, syndicate operatives eradicate foreign opposition
Resistance is futility, high probability of supression and submission

Full scale assault targets 7 key installations in 70 nations
Blades evidence of methods primitive, ineffective for elimination
My lines produce nuclear detonation, contamination with high radiation
Flawless demonstration with no perspiration nor hesitation, inducing supreme annihilation

Did you forget what the fuck I can do just using one hand
Rhymes induce mortal insanity, even elder gods can't understand
How I lyrically molded the fabric of reality before time began
Never rap to full potential, this galaxy could not withstand

I take it back to reality, exposing all your fallacies
And when I'm through with you you will have forgotten how to breathe
I exhale the dust of the ages, I've arisen from the grave
Ran shit for five millenia so you can't say shit
Atlantean emperor, I'm seeing through all time
The rap dismemberer, I'm eating through your false rhymes
Halfway between a killer and a rebuilder
The rawest out there 'cause I'm speaking unfiltered

I will shit on you like a good enema
You'll look comedic like acme cinema
Every word spoken shows my eupraxia
Red rum got me manslaughter, damn Dyslexia

My lines astonish, and I utterly demolish opposition
No forgiveness from my position, I ain't christian
Holding hammers till Easter, clips have you risen
It won't be a miracle when you go missing

Your second mistake was not staying down after I hit you
Beef with me is like traps from jigsaw, but harder to get through
I rap so raw it makes you feel baked like Colorado at 4:22
Punch lines leave you shocked like squirtle versus pikachu

You aren't competition, skill will never match this
The fact is, you're backwards, flat like mattress
Destruction of opposition no need for practice
I exact planetary extinction like I'm Galactus

[Meryuma]

I take it back to reality, exposing all your fallacies
And when I'm through with you you will have forgotten how to breathe
I exhale the dust of the ages, I've arisen from the grave
Ran shit for five millenia so you can't say shit
Atlantean emperor, I'm seeing through all time
The rap dismemberer, I'm eating through your false rhymes
Halfway between a killer and a rebuilder
The rawest out there 'cause I'm speaking unfiltered

I will shit on you like a good enema
You'll look comedic like acme cinema
Every word spoken shows my eupraxia
Red rum got me manslaughter, damn Dyslexia

My lines astonish, and I utterly demolish opposition
No forgiveness from my position, I ain't christian
Holding hammers till Easter, clips have you risen
It won't be a miracle when you go missing

Your second mistake was not staying down after I hit you
Beef with me is like traps from jigsaw, but harder to get through
I rap so raw it makes you feel baked like Colorado at 4:22
Punch lines leave you shocked like squirtle versus pikachu

You aren't competition, skill will never match this
The fact is, you're backwards, flat like mattress
Destruction of opposition no need for practice
I exact planetary extinction like I'm Galactus

You're self-destructive like you just were taking meth hits
Take the wrong step, you'll get guillotined like Death Grips
I sneak up on a would-be rapper undetected
Ruler of the game and my reign is uncontested

I assassinate the wack, as of yet unseen
Won't let a contender blink like SCP-173
Man, I've ran this shit since AD 1870
Any would-be threat will be disposed of all too readily

[Krishnalia]

What is this, a slay fest?
I beg to contest!
Rap's nothing but a poem in the making,
I'll have y'all shaking
Before I hear your swearing,
I'll be beyond caring.
Just passing through,
so out of the blue,
I'll post this rhyme before I run out of time,
Have to shield my eyes 'cause you can't prioritize
Open your eyes, stop all your lies
And don't forget to give my pizza with fries!