Friendly Cup IV [Everything Thread]

[Hujukialand]

KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Semifinals again. We've never got farther than this.
MUKA: Mr. Sharpointy did nothing today thanks to the Kintratarn armours, but then, Kintratar also did nothing today!
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Sure, but I feel you've just ignored me.
MUKA: Yeah, because I don't want to feel any pressure against Royal Britannia, remember last time?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: When everyone was going to come with knives for the match, then we forgot, and lost 7-0? Yep, I do.
MUKA: Well, then we should be playing as hard as we can. We'll try our best. Also, I believe I shouldn't stab anyone tomorrow, as thos britannics may sentence me to death penalty. I don't know much about them, though.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: They're last time's champions. They're the ones who defeated us 7-0 last time, too. What else is there to know?
MUKA: You know what else is there to know? What we're going to eat for dinner. I really want to know.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Roasted pork. Are you so hungry?
MUKA: Yeah, I'm really hungry. May I eat some?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Raw pork? That doesn't sound really tasty.
MUKA: Damn it, don't you have anything to eat then?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: I guess we could buy something light to eat before the pork.
MUKA: Sure, sounds good.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Well, let's see how much money we've got.... Nothing.
MUKA: Well, not for much time. Be right back. If you hear someone shout, you know where I am.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Oh god.... not again!

[Royal Britannia]

Emphatic win sends holders into semis
Royal Britannia 6-1 Maklohi Vai

The Brits are through to the semi finals following an emphatic win against Maklohi Vai. The holders wasted two early chances, with Stuart Holland firing wide of the mark despite leaving Wono Kalopai in his dust with a cheeky nutmeg. The deadlock was finally broken when Steve Ferer fired home from close range on twenty three minutes. The lead was doubled three minutes later, as Adam Severs slammed in a long range effort. The win was all but assured on the half hour mark, as Holland powered a header into the roof of the net.

The second half brought embarrassment for debutant keeper Norman Stuart, as he inadvertently kicked the ball against the back of Kyle Johnson and Maklohi Vai pounced in the six yard area. However, the three goal cushion was restored on seventy minutes as Ferer got his second. Holland fired home a sweet volley from the edge of the six yard area to make it five for the Brits, before substitute Will Edwardson grabbed a sixth in stoppage time. The Brits now face Hujukialand in the semi finals tomorrow.

[Mapletish]

- RP CUTOFF -

Match 1 : Mapletish 4-4 Slembana (4-5 AET) [Scorinated by Farfadillis

Match 2 : Royal Britannia 0–0 Hujukialand (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)

THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF

Mapletish vs Royal Britannia

VENUE : Stadia De Liare Professori

FINALS

Slembana vs Hujukialand

[Slembana]

(OOC: DBK Radio 1 is Slembana's flagship sports radio station. It broadcasts all sorts of sports played all around the NS world, from football and handegg to tennis and badminton. This is the radio commentary of Slembana's match in the semi-finals of the fourth Friendly Cup, played in Mapletish. The game ended at Mapletish 4 Slembana 5, after extra time. The match was played on 16 October 2013 Slembanan time.)

(Key: YX is Yuppë Xandélo, LB is Liam Bardsley.)

YX: Hello listeners, you're listening to DBK Radio 1, the best sports radio station in Slembana. I'm Yuppë Xandélo, and alongside me is Liam Bardsley. The commentary we have this Wednesday morning is of a football match. It is of our main national football team's match in the semi-finals of the fourth Friendly Cup, held in Mapletish, played at Stadia De Liare Professori, with the match against...Mapletish. It's a tough game, but we'll hopefully go through to the final. Your views, Liam?

LB: You're right, Yuppë, it is tough. But we hope we'll go through. After all, we invented the Friendly Cup.

YX: We're playing from left to right, in our traditional 4-1-2-3 formation. Toby Gapman is in goal; there's a back four of Callum Potts, Gavin Stockwell, Don Adobe, and Norris Rawlinson; Follin Maxet is our defensive midfielder; Jyvx Dagens in attacking midfield is flanked by Finlay Yalnif on the right and Yuppë Tárnix, while, up front, there's the brilliant Val Kylx, whose strike partner is Eddie Barlow. It's our usual line-up today.

Meanwhile, Mapletish are lining up in their attacking 3-4-3 formation. Natanael Alfredo is in goal; their back three consists of Eusebio Dimas, Anastasio Adolfito, and Nacio Aurelio; Aníbal Hermenegildo, Aarón Ernesto, Miguelito Eutimio, and Ramiro Rosendo are in midfield; while, up front for the host team, are Espiridión Teófilo, Epifanio Santos, and Apolinar Pedro.

The coin toss is won by Mapletish, who get the game underway.

(Goal 1: Val Kylx, 2 minutes, Mapletish 0-1 Slembana)

YX: Potts. Plays it to Stockwell, our captain. Stockwell plays it to Maxet. Maxet runs forwards, chips it to Kylx...who volleys in! It's 1-0 to us! Great goal from Val Kylx!

LB: That's typical Kylx. An early goal from him, as usual. Great player. He's only 18, but he's already scored 52 international goals!

(Goal 2: Eddie Barlow, 23 minutes, Mapletish 0-2 Slembana)

YX: Tárnix runs down the wing. He cuts inside, and shoots...it's hit the post! But it falls to Barlow, shoots from 20 yards, and it's a goal! Great strike from the 24 year-old!

LB: Eddie Barlow's a great striker. He's been banging in the goals in Iturributa, and for the national team.

(Goal 3: Don Adobe (own goal), 29 minutes, Mapletish 1-2 Slembana)

YX: Hermenegildo gets the ball from Dimas. He runs down the wing. Nutmegs Rawlinson. Hermenegildo crosses it into the box...and it comes off Adobe for an own goal! It's a disaster for the 21 year-old! He's put it into his own net!

LB: Don Adobe's usually a great defender, but he needed to get out of the way for that. He didn't, and now his given Mapletish some hope.

(Goal 4: Espiridión Teófilo, 36 minutes, Mapletish 2-2 Slembana)

YX: Rosendo runs down the wing. He crosses into the box, and finds Teófilo...who heads home! Oh no, it's 2-2 now! Disaster!

LB: Again, our defenders weren't focusing. They need to wake up - especially Don Adobe.

(Goal 5: Nacio Aurelio, 45+3 minutes, Mapletish 3-2 Slembana)

YX: Rosendo runs down the wing, and crosses in...it's deflected off Potts, it's a corner to Mapletish.

(There is a short pause, showing the replay. After that, Aníbal Hermenegildo takes the corner.

Crossed in by Heremenegildo...and Aurelio heads it home! Oh no! Mapletish have taken the lead!

LB: Wakey, wakey! Our defenders aren't focusing on the game today. They're thinking about their girlfs, their cars, and everything but the game.

(Shortly after, the half-time whistle blows. The Slembanan players are booed off.)

YX: That's half-time - the first half started well for us, but ended poorly.

LB: Alex Gardina will be giving his players stern words at half-time.

(Goal 6: Aarón Ernesto, 47 minutes, Mapletish 4-2 Slembana)

YX: Ernesto advances forward, and shoots from long range...it's 4-2 to Mapletish! This is ridiculous!

LB: Yet again, our defensive players are failing. Gapman should have saved that comfortably. But it's now 4-2 to Mapletish, thanks to our terrible defending.

(Goal 7: Val Kylx, 64 minutes, Mapletish 4-3 Slembana)

YX: Maxet gets the ball here. He lobs it down to Kylx, who jumps up to get it...and scores with a header! That's more like it!

LB: That's given us a bit of hope. Kylx to the rescue!

(Goal 8: Don Adobe, 90+5 minutes, Mapletish 4-4 Slembana)

YX: Tárnix runs down the wing. Teases the defenders. Crosses it in to Adobe...AND IT'S A GOAL! 4-4! DON ADOBE!

LB: That's the game saved! Don Adobe, you legend! He's made up for his own goal!

(Goal 9: Val Kylx, 120+4 minutes, Mapletish 4-5 Slembana)

YX: Kylx runs forward. He twists past Eusebio Dimas. He curls the ball with his left foot...AND SCORES! IT'S 5-4 TO US! VAL KYLX ON THE TREBLE! WE'RE INTO THE FINAL!

LB: Kylx has saved the day again! We've won the game now! That's it over now!

(The final whistle blows, with Slembana having won 5-4. The Slembanan fans roar with delight.)

YX: And that's it over! We've won 5-4, and we're into the final of the Friendly Cup. We'll play Hujukialand - our players have to watch out, because one of their players has a knife.

LB: It's that Muka guy, right?

YX: Yes.

[Hujukialand]

KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: I guess it's the should've been final now.
MUKA: Yep. During the second friendly cup we could've won against Max Empire. Sadly, I scored two own goals because of killing Kelpton Opal.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Well. Against Slembana, you can't kill players. I mean, you mustn't. Otherwise, you'll get the death sentence for sure. I mean just look at their RP Permissions laws. They sure are strict.
MUKA: I'll try to control my stabbing self. I promise. Anyways, why don't we talk about the match?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: I must say that it was much better than last time when we got thrashed 7-0. However, we would've not advanced if you hadn't threatened the goalkeeper all the time. And the players that missed too.
MUKA: Thank you, thank you. At last we got our revenge. And on the semifinals, last time, they had eliminated us during the groupstage.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: And ontinued to be champions. Which I would've liked.
MUKA: Oh, right. But we can be champions now! We just need to win, Mr. Sharpointy won't be able to kill, but I've heard those Slembanans fear death a lot, so threatening should be alright.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Yep, I guess.
MUKA: Also, remember that the Slembanans can play quality football, so we gotta watch our backs. Kikenka and Kinaja are the only ones here who can play quality football.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: But just look at our results! They show how much good they are.
MUKA: You mean Mr. Sharpointy and me, the one who drugged the Swiss goalkeeper?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Oh, yeah, right.
MUKA: Anyways, how about a genocidal rampage tomorrow night to celebrate our revenge?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Meh, I'll pass, we need to rest for the match against Slembana.
MUKA: Do you want to win or do you want to kill?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: WIN!! You retard!!
MUKA: I guess I could join you, then....

[Mapletish]

- RP CUTOFF -

THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF

Mapletish 2-0 Royal Britannia

VENUE : Stadia De Liare Professori

FINALS

Slembana 1-6 Hujukialand

EDIT : Removed the word "quote"

[Old Guard]

Congratulations to Mapletish on hosting the 4th version of this Cup!

Now I am able to announce the rankings for use in future tournaments. These rankings are calculated as follows:

Friendly Cup 4: Points Scored (plus round points*)/Games Played x4
Friendly Cup 3: Points Scored/Games Played x2
Friendly Cup 2: Points Scored/ Games Played x1

* Round Pints are where 1 point is added to all teams who progress up a round, eg from the Group stage to the Round of 16. This is so the losing teams have some recognition of advancing.

1   Hujukialand               17.40  
2   Slembana                  16.57  
3   Royal Britannia           14.33
4   Cosgravia                 13.73
5   The gypsies               11.33
6   Mapletish                 11.00
7   The Kingdom of Phoenixia  10.40
8   Mahloki Vai               10.00
9   Kintratar                  9.33
10  Swyftlandre                8.93
11  Free Swiss States          7.50
12  South Slembana             6.40
13  Max Empire                 6.27
14  Arkland                    5.33
15  Old Guard                  5.17
16  St James                   4.80
17  Central North America      4.50
18  Estope                     4.00
19  The Naughty Monks          3.20
20  Swyftherth                 3.00
21  VANTELIRA                  2.67
22  The H. T. of Bacon Strips  2.50
23= Nopspri                    2.00
23= Gaveo                      2.00
23= Anollasia                  2.00
26  Northern Sunrise Islands   1.60
27  Vlissengen                 1.50
28= Kitsunia-Déesse            1.33
28= Lewisland                  1.33
28= Dennis the Menace          1.33
31= Boring Paradise            1.00
31= Gregosh                    1.00
33= Texacano                   0.67
33= Union Isle                 0.67
35  North Blue Island          0.50
36  The Caspar                 0.00

[Slembana]

DBK Sports News: Football - Slembana 1-6 Hujukialand

Written by Pierre Darezi

Our national football team has lost 6-1 to Hujukialand in the final of the fourth Friendly Cup - equalling our biggest-ever defeat.

We got off to a bright start, with Eddie Barlow hitting the post, before a great Val Kylx volley gave us the lead after 12 minutes.

However, after that, it all fell apart.

Gokoloko Munika Kokella Metallio Forretio Mitalakun Korekianakelle Muka (who carries a knife), fired past Toby Gapman to level the game for Hujukialand, after threatening to stab our defenders. This goal was in the 21st minute. Gokoloko Munika Kokella Metallio Forretio Mitalakun Korekianakelle Kokolokohojokallamenirstalumbana (who is Muka's best friend), added two more for close range, in the 29th and 37th minutes (respectively), putting Hujukialand ahead 3-1.

After Kylx had saw a good shot saved and Muka had hit the bar, the latter made it 4-1 to Hujukialand with a curling left-foot shot. Kokolokohojokallamenirstalumbana completed his hat-trick with a volley in the 89th minute to make it 5-1, before the rout was completed in the 4th minute of stoppage time, with Muka's knife, Mr. Sharpointy, scoring!

Our players, after a disgusting performance were booed off. Hujukialand's fans roared with delight when Ko lifted the trophy, in contrast.

Our manager, Alex Gardina, is currently under investigation from our FA.

[Hujukialand]

KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Aaaaand thrashed.
MUKA: We've finally won the friendly cup, dude. I can't believe it.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: What I can't believe is we defeated Slembana almost without Mr. Sharpointy.
MUKA: Well, it scored its first international goal.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Yeah, it was awesome, last minute and you stab the ball in, the referee calls it a goal and we win six one.
MUKA: Plus your three goals, plus my two goals.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Plus the Slembanan goal. That goal was awesome.
MUKA: I know.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Also, did you hear? There are three players from this national team that are going to be included in the hujukian hall of fame!
MUKA: Who?
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Kikenka, you and....
MUKA: WHO ELSE!!??
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Mr. Sharpointy!
MUKA: I can't believe it, it's the first time an inanimate object makes it to the hall of fame.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: I know, I know.
MUKA: Anyways, poor Slembana, second final they lose.
KOKOLOKOHOJOKALLAMENIRSTALUMBANA: Yep, and first cup we win.
MUKA: Being the best team to have won it. Just look at our goal difference.

[Boring Paradise]

When will the next Friendly Cup be?

[Slembana]

When will the next Friendly Cup be?

Sign-ups are now open for the next edition.