19th Rugby Union World Cup (Everything thread)

[Ka Mate]

Kia ora! Rugby Girl's a happy camper after we smacked a second opponent at the Rugby World Cup. Yes, we've got the two tough teams left to play. But our challenge is straightforward. Win two and we advance, win one and we probably go forward, win neither and we go home. And Darmen did not look invincible against Western Cuba, but they won their second game right alongside us by 34-10 as well. They'll be tough and playing with backs to the wall. Western Cuba are also technically behind us thanks to differential but that means zip right now.

Hemi had another good day against Svengarda, four-for-four on conversions and two penalty goals. Te Kanawa scored two more tries from the wing, and our front row were controlling every scrum. The men are looking good. Our chance for a knockout match against the neighbors took a small hit when Matimar fell to favored Rhodesiah in Group C, but it could still happen. Provided we hold up our end.

Whatever happened to a bonus point for four tries? They might have come in handy . . .

Hei konā rā!

[Polar Islandstates]

[OOC: Howwww, heyyy... this is way late. Many apologies.]

Polar Islandstates Rugby Union Roster

After a huge disappointment in RUWC17, Coach Pep van Housengamm lost his job, and was replaced by the enigmatic and publicity-courting Jesper Rasmussen. He promised wide changes to the team after the dissolving of the old state-team league in rugby union brought about something of a revolution in the sport in the Federation. Teams were formed, rivalries have been springing up, and teams like Northbrook Harlequins and Citizens RFC have produced some very strong performances in the international domestic rugby tournaments. As such, the sweeping changes have been brought in, and only the captain, Anders Rosenmeyer, and winger Iulian van Keirrison remain from van Housengamm's previous tournament squad. The team performed to expectations in RUWC18, and so we see a team that isn't much changed today.

Coach: Jesper Rasmussen

1. Loosehead Prop - Artemiusz Sjoberg (30 - Citizens RFC)
2. Hooker - Sebastian Oftedahl (27 - Jan Mayen Harriers)
3. Tighthead Prop - Mikkel Oie (29 - Lisch Icefields RFC)
4. Lock - Brede Gubrud (32 - Axel Heiburg Athletic)
5. Lock - Maarten Mostrom (27 - Northbrook Harlequins)
6. Blindside Flanker - Vladimir Strenius (30 - FJC Rushmori RFC)
7. Openside Flanker - Amadeus Ahlberg (28 - Citizens RFC)
8. Number Eight - Anders Rosenmeyer (Captain) (28 - Northbrook Harlequins)
9. Scrum Half - Dmitry Ovsiannikov (32 - Lisch Icefields RFC)
10. Fly-Half - Jonas Pamyatnikh (30 - Northbrook Picks)
11. Left-Wing - Eyvindur Laukonen (28 - FJC Rushmori RFC)
12. Inside Centre - Lewis Seriogin (32 - Northbrook Harlequins)
13. Outside Centre - Felix Magnussen (28 - Grimsey RFC)
14. Right-Wing - Iulian van Keirrison (32 - McAvery Harriers)
15. Fullback - Jesper Enger (27 - Citizens RFC)

Subs
16. Winger/Centre - Konrad Valeev (25 - FJC Rushmori RFC)
17. Winger/Flanker - Mikhail Rosenberg (24 - Jan Mayen Harriers)
18. Lock/Prop - Alexei Mathiesen (29 - Citizens RFC)
19. Front row - Martin Aasen (29 - Lisch Icefields RFC)
20. Fullback - Finnur Michaelsen (27 - Northbrook Picks)
21. Scrum Half/Fly Half - Jesper Helberg (30 - RFC Sikjonek)
22. Hooker - Steffan Mogen (32 - Kerrisgorforth Harriers)

Kit


Choose My Goal/Try Scorers: Yes
Godmod Events: Yes
Injure My Players: Yes
Put my players in Sin bin: Yes (only for foul play, never violence)
Send my players off: Yes (only for foul play, never violence)

[Yesopalitha]

Although Yesopalitha has lost to Licentiapacisterra in their third game, and probably will not make it to the playoffs at all, the fact that they have a team at all in this competition means a lot to the players.

"It is a once in a lifetime opportunity," one quipped.

Will this lead to Yesopalitha actually having Rugby Union domestically? One can only wait and see.

[The Javahe Islands]

ATEER POST-DISPATCH
-Montbenoit, Saugeais
The Javahe Islands are off to an excellent start in their virgin Rugby World Cup campaign. The Rainbowmen are looking good after a 43-7 dismantling of Reen, spearheaded by a rare hat trick by none other than the hooker, Šavin Niirefan. These, of course, are Niirefan's first international tries, but also the first international tries by a hooker in Javahem history.

"I picked the ball up," Niirefan commented, "and stepped over the line a lot."

Flanker Quexcat Ghairt added another try, punctuating an evening of rare forward tries. Ghairt's try was also historic, marking the first international try by a Kiman. For the Post-Dispatch's foreign readers, the Kima Islands are an isolated group of three islands with a distinct culture from that of the rest of the Javahes.

Coach Žegin Making had this to say about the team's success: "I think that we really just trained very hard. I told the boys, 'You get out what you put in.' They took that to heart. They've really been putting in the effort in our practices, and I think that shows on the field. We've got a bunch of people watching and we don't want to let them down."

Next up for the Javahes are the hosts Saugeais, who caused quite the snafu throughout the islands when a Saugeain sports commentator referred to the Javhahe Islands as "nobody". The Saugeains are also undefeated, which means that this match could very well decide who goes straight to the Round of 16.

[Michael VII]

Rugger? You mean that silly oval ball game?

Michael VII National Team for RUWC 19 announced


Starters
Tighthead Prop: Louis Mackay
Hooker: Daniel Sanderson
Loosehead Prop: Samuel Porter
Left Lock: Fred Nanty
Right Lock: Edgar van Low
Blindside Flanker: Mitchell Zidki
Openside Flanker: Ronald Carter
Number Eight: Peter Borden
Halfback: Ollie Taylor
First Five-Eighths: Ashley Hetterburg
Left Wing: Uliatuma Keatoa
Second Five-Eighths: Cain Daniels
Centre: Joseph Yorgi
Right Wing: Geoff Alter
Fullback: Quentin Oorbeck

Reserves
Prop: Bruce Weltman
Hooker: William Quartze
Lock: Hunter Ilke
Loose Forward: Yutan Xanders
Halfback: Zane Elk
Midfield: Terrence Fuerchte
Winger: Karl Kenslow

Coaching Squad
Coach: Graham Dee
Assistant Coach: Tyrone Mitchells
Forwards Coach: Derek Parlay
Backs Coach: Nathan de Clerk
Physio: Tracy Garcia

[Lymantatia]

Lymantatia's Roster for the XIX Rugby Union World Cup
Real Team
Prop: Joseph Valdez and Joseph Bonaventura
Hooker: Guillaume Lowe
Lock: William Martineau and Karl Albertson
Flanker: Dan Antoniopoulos and Joseph Alberts
Number 8: Will Diana
Scrum Half: Vivianus Lowe
Fly Half: Charles Park
Center: Charles Bonaventura and Marcello Martino
Wing: Edward Kim and Alexander Wanatabe
Fullback: Zachary Martin
Substitutes
Prop: Edouard Silva
Lock: Jacques Bonaventura
Flanker: Lawrence Raimondo
Center: Joseph Belcastro
Wing: Robert Raimondo
Fullback: Clarence Gagnon
Utility: Charles Desnoyers
Choose my pointscorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: N
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Hand out yellow cards (sin bin) to my players: N
Hand out red cards (sending off) to my players: N
Godmod other events: Y

[Saugeais]

RUGBY RAMBLINGS

Another day, another dollar. At least I think they are paying me for this internship; that would be the only thing that makes being subjected to this kind of punishment worth it. Journalism is turning into such a boring, tedious job. I don't understand how these guys who've covered the national sports for all these years keep going after every loss. Wait, we didn't lose? I mean....of course, we didn't lose! I watched the entire match, and am in no way giving you a word for word description of the match from another website. It's not like I fell asleep while it was on.....another channel......while I was at a party. Remember: I'm the journalist, and everything I say is truthful and factual and not wrong in the slightest!

Against Bordurian, the Saugeain ruggers were very uninspiring in the first half, and were in fact trailing to the lowly nation at a point in the first half. After an initial try and conversion by Josef de Jong, Borduian rattled off 4 consecutive drop kicks in the next 15 minute to put them ahead 12-7. The Saugeain fans grew restless by the lack of attacking movement from the Eagles, really letting them have it every time their movement was halted, or when they turned the ball over. Each side was able to score another drop kick each, and at halftime, the fan favorites were trailing, 15-10. "It was a major disappointment," said head coach Stephen Strauss. "I told my players that they had their pride and the pride of a nation to uphold. The needed to go out there and fight like they never had before against this scrappy team."

And fight they did, as the Eagle came out with a vengeance on both sides of the ball. They kept Bordurian out of the try zone for the entirety of the match, allowing just one more drop kick, while the Eagles offense kicked it up a notch. Stade Jean Comtois lit up with excitement as prop Kimball Hilton scored two tries in this half in near rapid succession (50th minute and 53rd minute), and with both conversions made, Saugeais were back in the lead, 24-18. Borduian clamped down on their defense, preventing us to get any closer than the 10 meter area for the remainder of the match, so de Jong was called on twice more to lay down some drop kicks to get the final tally 30-18 for the Eagles.

Saugeais face table leaders The Javahe Islands next up in what is sure to be a classic David versus Goliath match. The Eagles, ranked 4th in the world, against The Javahe Islands, whose two dominant wins have pushed the unranked nation to almost certain advancement. Check out the match on Saugeais Sports 1 tonight!

Yeah, tonight. Don't remind me, completely anonymous reporter that I refuse to give credit to. Fourth matchday is on tonight, and I don't think I can get away with this for very much longer; my superiors may actually force me to watch the match at their house. Thems the breaks, sadly. Peace.

-Brian Michaels

[Saugeais]

MATCHDAY 4

Group A
Saugeais 29–9 The Javahe Islands
Aels 33–7 Bordurian

- Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Saugeais                         3   3  0  0   92  40 +52   12
2 The Javahe Islands               3   2  0  1   81  43 +38    8
3 Aels                             3   2  0  1   68  58 +10    8
4 Bordurian                        4   1  0  3   65  95 −30    4
5 Reen                             3   0  0  3   28  98 −70    1

Group B
Cyborg Holland 32–14 Ko-oren
Abelheim 10–33 Filopines

- Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Cyborg Holland                   3   3  0  0   99  29 +70   12
2 Ko-oren                          3   2  0  1   97  53 +44    8
3 Filopines                        4   2  0  2   80  97 −17    8
4 Rukanda                          3   1  0  2   49  85 −36    5
5 Abelheim                         3   0  0  3   28  89 −61    0

Group C
Rhodesiah 27–13 Licentiapacisterra
84733842 42–0 Democratic States of Fenbar

- Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Rhodesiah                        3   3  0  0  108  24 +84   12
2 84733842                         3   2  0  1   72  46 +26    8
3 Licentiapacisterra               3   2  0  1   79  55 +24    8
4 Yesopalitha                      3   1  0  2   48  60 −12    4
5 Democratic States of Fenbar      4   0  0  4   29 151 −122    0

Group D
The Kiaser Colonies 47–10 Maron
Civil Citizenry 38–0 Estope

- Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Civil Citizenry                  3   3  0  0  103  13 +90   12
2 The Kiaser Colonies              3   2  0  1   92  47 +45    8
3 Estope                           4   2  0  2   66  86 −20    8
4 Maron                            3   1  0  2   48  75 −27    4
5 Varijnland                       3   0  0  3   16 104 −88    0

Group E
Darmen 18–18 Ka Mate
Western Cuba 24–6 Drauch

- Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Western Cuba                     3   3  0  0  102  31 +71   12
2 Ka Mate                          3   2  1  0   98  28 +70   10
3 Darmen                           3   1  1  1   70  66  +4    6
4 Svengarda                        3   1  0  2   57  81 −24    4
5 Drauch                           4   0  0  4   23 144 −121    0

Group F
Voerdeland 47–12 Miskito Coast
Ancharmunn 28–14 Free South Califas

- Group F                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Ancharmunn                       3   3  0  0   65  43 +22   12
2 Voerdeland                       3   2  0  1   83  46 +37    9
3 Free South Califas               4   1  0  3   72  80  −8    5
4 Orienne                          3   1  0  2   43  63 −20    5
5 Miskito Coast                    3   1  0  2   48  79 −31    5

Group G
Polar Islandstates 33–3 Lymantatia
Camwood 37–19 Free Swiss States

- Group G                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Camwood                          3   3  0  0   97  39 +58   12
2 Polar Islandstates               3   2  0  1   75  43 +32    8
3 Lymantatia                       3   2  0  1   58  57  +1    8
4 Free Swiss States                4   1  0  3   63 100 −37    4
5 The Scandinavian Islands         3   0  0  3   26  80 −54    1

Group H
Kulverint 46–6 His Great Kingdom
Megadia 48–12 Bongo Johnson

- Group H                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Kulverint                        3   3  0  0   97  25 +72   12
2 Megadia                          3   2  0  1   92  40 +52    9
3 His Great Kingdom                3   2  0  1   71  61 +10    8
4 Thatius                          3   1  0  2   56  68 −12    4
5 Bongo Johnson                    4   0  0  4   28 150 −122    0

Group I
Swartaz 36–12 Michael VII
Carmadin 10–28 Bloodbath Generation

- Group I                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Slembana                         3   3  0  0  116   6 +110   12
2 Swartaz                          3   2  0  1   78  40 +38    8
3 Bloodbath Generation             4   1  0  3   45 102 −57    5
4 Michael VII                      3   1  0  2   37  81 −44    4
5 Carmadin                         3   1  0  2   35  82 −47    4

[Ka Mate]

Kia ora! For once, I'm happy to see a tie. Usually they blow chunks. But the 18-18 result between Ka Mate and Darmen almost assures that we get through to the playoffs. It puts up four points on Darmen with one to play, so the best they can do is tie with us. And we lead by over 60 points on differential, so that only happens if we get stomped and they stomp their opponents. With Western Cuba remaining that's possible, but we hope not.

The game was pretty exciting for a tie, we almost won it in the last six minutes. We were down 18-10 with 20 minutes left, but Hemi Koroheke kicked a penalty goal to bring us to within five. Possession was then fiercely contested for a dozen or so minutes, ending with a spectacular run to goal by Petera Te Kanawa. The coverage forced him far outside, though, resulting in a very tough angle for Hemi and he banged the conversion attempt off the right upright. Both defenses stiffened from there and nobody really threatened to win.

I haven't seen a lot in the press about Western Cuba this tournament aside from quite respectable scores. They easily handled a team that we did not defeat, so the line is against us. But if we beat them we go through heading the group, and even if we lose we are still likely to advance. Not a bad place to be, minimal expectations and recognition that we've had a strong debut pervormance. And it won't be over after this match.

Hei konā rā!

[The Javahe Islands]

A young man sits in his parents' basement in the Javahem capital of Iikihe. There is no light except for that emitted by the television, an old CRT. It shows images of beefy men running around a grassy area, trying to move an egg-shaped object into different areas of the aforementioned grassy area. The man holds his head in his hands. The sound of feet comes from the stairs. A woman's voice calls out.
"Angeerin! Go to bed!"
Without lifting his head from his hands, the young man replies.
"No, mom. I'm too depressed!"
"About what?"
The young man now looks up at his mother.
"They just lost. To the Saugeains, of all people."
"Then just cry yourself to sleep or something. It builds character, I read."
The woman walks back up the stairs, leaving the room without any dialogue save the fake, cliché post-match analysis. The young man eventually falls asleep in front of the television. An infomercial advertising a juicer begins. The presenter's enthusiasm wakes the man, who turns off the television and is left in total darkness and silence. He walks up the stairs, humming the Javahem national anthem to keep his fear of the dark at bay.

[Saugeais]

RUGBY RAMBLINGS

The final group match is upon us, and I can't tell you how much I wish this was the end of it. Plenty of blowout matches, and every single group has a team that is undefeated. Surprised? Hardly. I'm more surprised about the lone draw that occurred. A draw in rugby? Balderdash and poppycock and all that rubbish. Why the hell couldn't that one end like all the others? Why does it have to be different? Pretty soon, draws all over the world will be demanding equal representation in the game of rugby and all that. We can't let that happen! Draws are detrimental in all sports; I hate them in the sport I love (football), so why does it have to be in a sport I hate? Why torture me even further with a non-result in a game that so easily could have winners and losers (mostly losers, if you remember)?

Anywho, Saugeais took on the highly caffeinated Javahe Islands this past match. Both teams were undefeated and both looking to e top of their group. Blah, blah, you know the story. What you probably didn't know is that the match was closer than one would expect, much like the Bordurian match. For a 4th ranked team against another unranked and relatively new side, I am thoroughly unimpressed. It doesn't matter they held the Islanders out of the try zone repeatedly, making them settle for just two drop kicks and a silly penalty kick. It doesn't matter if we scored 4 tries (2 from Claude Van Bomme, 1 from Merv Womack, and 1 from Jamar Jaeger whom de Jong failed the conversion on)between the 30th and 65th minutes. The fact of the matter is this: if we can't overpower a team 70-0 in the position we are in, we don't deserve to lift that title. Plain and simple. Give it to Rhodesiah, to Kiaser Colonies, to Swartaz, ANYONE other than us. For we clearly do not know how to play rugby.

We face Reen last up in the group, not that I care or anything. We are pretty much locked in to advance and still fight on, unfortunately for me. That means at least one more god awful match to watch and give my professional opinion on. Peace.

-Brian Michaels

[Saugeais]

MATCHDAY 5

Group A
The Javahe Islands 30–18 Aels
Reen 0–30 Saugeais

- Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Saugeais                         4   4  0  0  122  40 +82   16  Q
2 The Javahe Islands               4   3  0  1  111  61 +50   12  Q
3 Aels                             4   2  0  2   86  88  −2    8
4 Bordurian                        4   1  0  3   65  95 −30    4
5 Reen                             4   0  0  4   28 128 −100   1

Group B
Ko-oren 35–3 Abelheim
Rukanda 5–45 Cyborg Holland

- Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Cyborg Holland                   4   4  0  0  144  34 +110  16  Q
2 Ko-oren                          4   3  0  1  132  56 +76   12  Q
3 Filopines                        4   2  0  2   80  97 −17    8
4 Rukanda                          4   1  0  3   54 130 −76    5
5 Abelheim                         4   0  0  4   31 124 −93    0

Group C
Licentiapacisterra 15–23 84733842
Yesopalitha 3–23 Rhodesiah

- Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Rhodesiah                        4   4  0  0  131  27 +104  16  Q
2 84733842                         4   3  0  1   95  61 +34   12  Q
3 Licentiapacisterra               4   2  0  2   94  78 +16    8
4 Yesopalitha                      4   1  0  3   51  83 −32    4
5 Democratic States of Fenbar      4   0  0  4   29 151 −122   0

Group D
Maron 0–46 Civil Citizenry
Varijnland 8–30 The Kiaser Colonies

- Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Civil Citizenry                  4   4  0  0  149  13 +136  16  Q
2 The Kiaser Colonies              4   3  0  1  122  55 +67   12  Q
3 Estope                           4   2  0  2   66  86 −20    8
4 Maron                            4   1  0  3   48 121 −73    4
5 Varijnland                       4   0  0  4   24 134 −110   0

Group E
Ka Mate 30–6 Western Cuba
Svengarda 18–16 Darmen

- Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Ka Mate                          4   3  1  0  128  34 +94   14  Q
2 Western Cuba                     4   3  0  1  108  61 +47   12  Q
3 Svengarda                        4   2  0  2   75  97 −22    8
4 Darmen                           4   1  1  2   86  84  +2    7
5 Drauch                           4   0  0  4   23 144 −121   0

Group F
Miskito Coast 8–35 Ancharmunn
Orienne 17–33 Voerdeland

- Group F                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Ancharmunn                       4   4  0  0  100  51 +49   16  Q
2 Voerdeland                       4   3  0  1  116  63 +53   13  Q
3 Free South Califas               4   1  0  3   72  80  −8    5
4 Orienne                          4   1  0  3   60  96 −36    5
5 Miskito Coast                    4   1  0  3   56 114 −58    5

Group G
Lymantatia 16–30 Camwood
The Scandinavian Islands 7–42 Polar Islandstates

- Group G                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Camwood                          4   4  0  0  127  55 +72   16  Q
2 Polar Islandstates               4   3  0  1  117  50 +67   12  Q
3 Lymantatia                       4   2  0  2   74  87 −13    8
4 Free Swiss States                4   1  0  3   63 100 −37    4
5 The Scandinavian Islands         4   0  0  4   33 122 −89    1

Group H
His Great Kingdom 35–3 Megadia
Thatius 0–46 Kulverint

- Group H                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Kulverint                        4   4  0  0  143  25 +118  16  Q
2 His Great Kingdom                4   3  0  1  106  64 +42   12  Q
3 Megadia                          4   2  0  2   95  75 +20    9
4 Thatius                          4   1  0  3   56 114 −58    4
5 Bongo Johnson                    4   0  0  4   28 150 −122   0

Group I
Michael VII 41–7 Carmadin
Slembana 7–40 Swartaz

- Group I                        Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Slembana                         4   3  0  1  123  46 +77   12  Q
2 Swartaz                          4   3  0  1  118  47 +71   12  Q
3 Michael VII                      4   2  0  2   78  88 −10    8
4 Bloodbath Generation             4   1  0  3   45 102 −57    5
5 Carmadin                         4   1  0  3   42 123 −81    4

Play-off Matches
#15 The Javahe Islands vs. #18 84733842 at North Shore Stadium

#16 Western Cuba vs. #17 His Great Kingdom at Franklin Grounds

Round of 16
#1 Civil Citizenry vs. winner of #15 The Javahe Islands vs. #18 84733842 at Stade Jean Comtois
#8 Ka Mate vs. #9 Slembana at STAI Stadium
#4 Rhodesiah vs. #13 The Kiaser Colonies at Vauxen Park
#5 Saugeais vs. #12 Swartaz at Lowlands Stadium

#2 Kulverint vs. winner of #16 Western Cuba vs. #17 His Great Kingdom at Stade Jean Comtois
#7 Ancharmunn vs. #10 Voerdeland at STAI Stadium
#3 Cyborg Holland vs. #14 Polar Islandstates at Vauxen Park
#6 Camwood vs. #11 Ko-oren at Lowlands Stadium

[Ko-oren]

Group Phase Over - Ko-oren Still In!

Ko-oren is on after four group matches! Despite the bad loss, the Greenblues had their revenge against Abelheim, and with a 3-0-1 score, the adventure

Filopines - Ko-oren
bye
Ko-oren - Rukanda
Cyborg Holland - Ko-oren
Ko-oren - Abelheim
WIN-DRAW-LOSS

continues! Ko-oren beat Abelheim 35-3, but there was no real chance that Ko-oren would drop from the top two at all anymore. Number three Filopines had their bye round, and Rukanda in fourth faced (invincible) Cyborg Holland. In theory, Ko-oren could still lose against Abelheim and drop beneath Filopines and Rukanda, but there is a difference in PD between these teams: Ko-oren had to lose by 93 points to allow Filopines over them and Rukanda had to correct 152 points in order to take over the Greenblues. This might make group B the least balanced group of all: no team in second place has a PD as high as Ko-oren. Voerdeland is the only runner-up in any group with more points than Ko-oren, but this might be because of the bad loss against Cyborg Holland (32-14). More evidence that points to Group B as least balanced: the winner has +110 PD, the last has -93. There are many teams with less points than Abelheim, but Cyborg Holland is one of the top scoring teams.

For the next round, there are two play-off matches that will determine the opponent of the two strongest teams. These play-off teams are The Javahe Islands, 84733842, Western Cuba and His Great Kingdom. The winners will face Civil Citizenry and Kulverint. Ko-oren will face Group G winner Camwood.

Camwood, a B+a nation, in the region of Rushmore. Like in Ko-oren, health and education are of utmost importance to the citizens. Ko-orens vexillologists (OOC: flag nuts) have asked for special permission to make some predictions for this match, and for the rest of the teams: "Camwood has a good flag: simple and to the point. There is only one thing that they do not seem to understand: how is anyone supposed to draw that thing with these flowing colors in the tulip? Good symbol for a country, but you'd need over 25 crayons to pull it off"

"Saugeais is another problematic issue. Like Camwood, they have three vertical fields, but one is littered with an impossible to remember coat of arms!" His reaction was drowned out over his colleagues' reactions: "What do you mean impossible to remember? Not everyone has a memory like you, old man!". This last comment may or may not have been from an exchange student from Saugeais (OOC: it wasn't).

"Cyborg Holland is another flag with a good symbol: just a silhouette of a horse on a white canvas. But oh yes, what does it mean? Only they can know. But it probably means something, they'll probably do well at the rest of the tournament"

"The Kiaser Colonies are a nice variation on a flag we see often. The red-black flag with a yellow circle makes a nice cameo in this one. The Southern Cross really finishes it"

"The Javahe Islands surely must be one of those newfangled modern nations. Using bright colors?! On a flag?! With a cross over that?! Bold move, I say. But it works. And is that four colors where I thought it were three? Exquisite! We wish them all luck they need for their playoff!"

"Swartaz is, probably, the only country that has looked at the official flag making rules. Two main colors, recognizable, easy to remember, and the coat of arms is not even difficult either! If any nation deserves to win this, it's them"

"Kulverint. We have discussed this flag often at our meetings, and some of us like it, some of us don't. While the cross they used is not supposed to be symmetrical (ok, vertical symmetry), they added a little red thing there. And what is black supposed to be for a main color?" "Yeah, just guess from which group you are, old man. Black is the new black, after all!"

[84733842]

The Rugby World Cup group stage is over, and Matimar go forward as the seeds would predict. But there's a bit of a snag.

You see, we had an . . . erm . . . undistinguished, that's it . . . an undistinguished run to our 12-point finish, and wound up as the #18 seed in the round of 16. That's as awkward as it sounds. First it means a playoff with Western Cuba (The Javahe Islands--Ed.) just to get into the last 16, and then should we win our reward is Civil Citizenry. The Citiz stormed through four matches in fine form, averaging over 37 points per match and yielding just 13 for the lot. That's right, barely over a goal per match against them. Our boys--okay, and two girls--have quite the task.

But remember this from an earlier column: "I'd happily give Rugby Girl the knockout matchup she seems to want . . ."

That could happen. Ka Mate won their group and have the #8 seed after a tie with Darmen and a surprise drubbing of Western Cuba. They'll play fellow debutants Slembana, and should they win we could become Ka Mate's quarterfinal opponent. A little regional rivalry, anyone?

First we have the play-in, though. Western Cuba looked flat against Ka Mate, just two goals and no tries. (Ed. Note: The research errors in early reportage have been traced to an intern with immigration irregularities, actually hailing from Tomtiger or Stevepanther or someplace. She has been sacked and corrections implemented.) And our (real!--Ed.) opponents from The Javahe Islands are coming off an emotional win over Aels with qualification on the line. They will be a tough out, to borrow lingo from another sport. We've only had one bad outing, and that was courtesy of a very strong Rhodesiah squad. Logo Persgoma has really been the star of the first rounds at glup, again excepting Rhodesiah he's had the defense anchored firmly. Piro Seta was hurt in the Licentiapacisterra match, and a lot of weight will fall on Grige Mosa's relatively slender shoulders to lead out on offense. But she and Pasgarmises protlispem Ropo Maga are capable in their roles, Ropo's kicking well, and overall things look good.

[Cyborg Holland]

Cyborg Holland: 31
Tries: Tholberg (8), Steffanson (32), van Houte (49), Schneijder (63)
Conversions: Simonis (x4)
Penalties: Simonis (x1)
Drop Goals: N/A

Abelheim: 5
Tries: Abelheimnumber4 (24 mins)
Conversions: N/A
Penalties: N/A
Drop Goals: N/A

A first game for a while saw the team shake off the rust in the opening exchanges. But it was soon gone as giant Number 8 Johannes Tholberg crashed through the rickety Abelheim defence to register Cyborg Holland's first points. Simonis converted effortlesly from 25 yards.

Abelheim got thier first score, and only score, on 24 minutes, when they touched down on a driving maul. The Abelheim fly half missed the conversion, leavingthe scores at 7-5 on 25 minutes. 7 minutes later Outside Centre Dag Steffanson increased the lead to 7, finding the gap after a break-away move from the loose-forwards. Simonis again converted. 12-5 at half time.

After the break, Simonis slotted a penalty to extend the lead to 10, then Laurits van Houte outpaced the Abelheim backs to score in the corner, and Simonis converted the hardest kick of the game. Cyborg Holland then took full control, but we unlucky to only score once again, this time on 63 minutes through captain Makar Schneijder. The game finished a resounding 31-5.

Cyborg Holland: 36
Tries: Meeuweszen (14), van Houte (19, 45)
Conversions: Simonis (x3)
Penalties: Simonis (x5)
Drop Goals: N/A

Filopines: 10
Tries: Filopinesnumber13 (83)
Conversions: Filopinesflyhalf (x1)
Penalties: Filopinesflyhalf (x1)
Drop Goals: N/A

A much more reserved, defensive game, which saw Fly-Half Gabriel Simonis take centre stage, nailing every single one of his kicks. 8 in all and 21 points in the match. Cyborg Holland stormed in front in the 14th minute, when Nicolaas Meeuweszen recieved a grubber from fly Simonis. Laurits van Houte crossed for his second try of the tournament just five minutes later, with Simonis adding both conversions and a penalty to make the score 17-0 after 20 minutes.

Simonis and Meeuweszen continued to control the game, and Laurits van Houte made it 3 tries in two games with his second of the match, gracefully converted by an on fire Simonis. Simonis added four more to finish the route, and the Filopines outside centre added a consolation try with three minutes to go. Powerful form going into the penultimate game against Ko-oren

Cyborg Holland: 32
Tries: Ostergard (65), Simonis (72)
Conversions: Simonis (x2)
Penalties: Simonis (x4)
Drop Goals: Simonis (x2)

Ko-oren: 14
Tries: Makkimun (28)
Conversions: N/A
Penalties: Neretipe (x3)
Drop Goals: N/A

An early scare for the Dragons saw a slow start and then Ko-oren No. 8 Makkimun cross the line to start the scoring on 28 minutes. The Fly half Neretipe thankfully missedf the conversion, leaving Ko-oren 5-0 up. Simonis kept us in contact with continous goal kicking, but we weren't able to break down the resiliant Ko-oren goal line before half time. Ko-oren fly Neretipe had put one penalty over, in response to Simonis' 2, leaving the scores closely tied at 8-6.

The second half started poorly for the Dragons, with Klimment Rasmussen being shown a yellow card for a high tackle on Ko-oren number 5 Trehardan. The Dragons held out the goalline, but weren't able to stop Neretipe adding two more and extending the lead to 8 points, at 14-6 with 30 minutes remaining.

After Rasmussen returned however, Cyborg Holland started to play like they'd played against Filopines & Abelheim, with flair, vigour and energy. Simonis added a sweetly-struck drop goal to reduce the gap to five, and then the lead was taken with 15 minutes remaining with experienced front-row Edwin Ostergard crossing after a crash ball smashed open the now exhausted Ko-oren defence. Simonis added the extras. 14-16 with 10 minutes remaining.

Simonis added another drop goal, as well as a penalty, before he scored a sensational individual score from inside his own half, blowing away any lingering Ko-oren hope. He converted it, before adding one final drop goal in the closing seconds.

(Rukunda match report is being written now and will be edited in)

[The Javahe Islands]

The President of the Javahe Islands Rugby Union, Jamin Wiijewan, sits at a desk, flanked by national team coach Žegin Making and team captain, Wijin Regahe. Behind the men is a large wall plastered with advertisements for a popular sports drink. Wiijewan is sweating, and his breathing is labored. He pulls out a newspaper and begins to speak into the microphone.
"We have some more bad news."
He pauses, as if to let the nonexistent severity of the statement settle in.
"Another foreign media outlet has neglected to pay any attention to our small, little island nation."
He holds up the paper as on the first day of the tournament.
"These fellows from Matimar... have been gravely incorrect in their fact-checking. They have refused to... acknowledge the presence of the Javahe Islands, either by accident... or by choice. The writers of the article seem to entertain the notion that they will be playing Western Cuba in the play-off round."
He puts the paper down.
"Matimar will not be playing Western Cuba in the play-off round. Matimar will be playing the Javahe Islands."
Applause comes from those present. Wiijewan waves it off with his right hand.
"Now... if a country should be... unable to read the posted matchups with some sort of... understanding and comprehension, then maybe... maybe they are simply careless. Or maybe... they purposefully desire to avoid a match against our team. I think, personally, that the writer of the article was just careless. Perhaps he... doesn't care about the World Cup... I have news. We do. Long live the Javahe Islands!"
The national anthem plays through the loudspeakers once more, and applause erupts from the crowd. Each able-bodied audience member is on his or her feet, and the chair-bound among them seem to rise several inches out of their seat. The three men at the desk rise in unison and exit the room. Regahe, knowing that he has one chance to make his homeland proud, is seen to have tears flowing down his face.

[Saugeais]

PLAY-OFF MATCH

#15 The Javahe Islands 13–27 #18 84733842

#16 Western Cuba 25–15 #17 His Great Kingdom


84733842 and Western Cuba advance to face their respective round of 16 opponents. And now we take a 47 1/2 hour break, where I will go off to find a third party scorer for all playoff matches I am in. See you all on Saturday (or Sunday for those of you ahead of the US).

[The Javahe Islands]

A man walks into the Ateer International Airport. He is carrying around a large, light brown suitcase. He walks quickly, as though he is about to miss his flight. He pauses for a moment in front of the duty-free shop before deciding to enter. He walks straight to the alcoholic drinks. He picks up three bottles of Ringiit Cider. He walks to the cashier and places several crumpled bills on the counter.
"Keep the change."
The cashier attempts to put the bottles into a case, but the man simply waves her off and walks away holding all three bottles in his free hand. He finds a bench in Terminal A and sets his suitcase down in front of him. He opens the suitcase and pulls out a bottle opener, the only item in the suitcase. He opens the first bottle of cider and begins to gulp down the entire thing. He finishes the first bottle in a matter of seconds and begins on number two. He continues in this way until all three of the bottles have been emptied. The man leaves his suitcase, bottles, and bottle opener sitting by the bench. He walks out of the airport. An old automobile is waiting for him. He walks into the passenger side and the car speeds away. As he sits in the passenger seat, the man weeps silently for the Rainbowmen.

[Saugeais]

Round of 16 cutoff is now! Astograth will be scoring my match against Swartaz.

ROUND OF 16

Civil Citizenry 12–22 84733842
Ka Mate 26–8 Slembana
Rhodesiah 29–26 The Kiaser Colonies
Saugeais 13–33 Swartaz scored by Astograth
Kulverint 32–8 Western Cuba
Ancharmunn 23–17 Voerdeland
Cyborg Holland 28–8 Polar Islandstates
Camwood 18–21 Ko-oren


Quarter Finals

84733842 vs. Ka Mate at Stade Jean Comtois
Rhodesiah vs. Swartaz at Vauxen Park
Kulverint vs. Ancharmunn at Lowlands Stadium
Cyborg Holland vs. Ko-oren at STAI Stadium

[Ko-oren]

"Good job on the win guys! Not many expected it, but here we are! Top 8 of the world!"

"We're far from where we want to be, coach. Can't we say we've only just begun? This is our first RUWC, of course!"

"Well, I'm all for optimism but shouldn't we be happy where we got?"

"Why? Is there something you know and we don't?"

"The scores of the other games just rolled in, and... well, there have been some surprises. We usually face nations like Saugeais and Civil Citizenry in later rounds of any cup. But it's the new generation that has overtaken them, apparently. For instance, eh, 8..4..7..numbers is one of the nations in the last eight."

"But what's got that to do with us? That wasn't the question, right?"

"And guess who we'll play next."

"It can't be..."

"Yes, for the gazillionth time in the past weeks, a team from Ko-oren plays a team from Cyborg Holland."

(OOC: Let's not think too much about the 'Cyborg Holland 32–14 Ko-oren' match in the second-to-last group phase match round)

----------- (OOC: the next bit was written after Cyborg Holland's post, and yes, I did just find out there is a ranking)
"What are you doing, staying up this late? I know players have to go to bed on time, but how about coaching staff?"

"I'm just looking over the Cyborg Holland - Polar Islandstates match report. There are some interesting things in here"

"Like?"

"For instance, that they're very good at this game. And that they are getting better each match round. And that their best game ever was yesterday. Man. This is depressing."

"You think we can win?"

"Probably not."

... "Hey, what's this? This last sentence?"

"Hm. 'the only un-ranked side'? What's that?"

"Apparently there's some sort of ranking for this game"

"I know this is the 19th edition of the tournament, but they've been keeping scores? And that means... other nations have a history with this game?"

"Not just that, but also that we're apparently doing well at keeping nations with histories out of the tournament"

"Do you think other associations might see us as surprises then?"

"Don't know. We could ask tomorrow. But seriously? The new team seizes a top eight place?"

[Bordurian]

Bordurian
The team stepped off the plane at Tomek Wolisinski international. Much to their suprise, a few hundred people turned out to greet them. They managed, not to come dead last. This will create a new wave of hope for Bordurian's rugby program. Next time, they hope of making it to the group stage.

[Ka Mate]

Kia ora! Quarterfinals, here we come, and we get to play Matimar/84733842 in the bargain! Slembana tried to make a match of it, give them credit. We were up by just two at the half. But Hemi added three more goals in the second half and yet another Te Kanawa try sewed things up, 26-8 was the final. Meanwhile Matimar really looked good in their last two, first the play-in over The Javahe Islands and then dropping the #1 qualifiers from Civil Citizenry with an exhibition of gritty play minus their starting halfback. But you'd never know it to watch them. Watch for the Javahe squad in the future, they showed a lot of spirit and talent for an untested fifteen. (Some people say that about us.) We've not seen the last of them -- or Slembana, either.

The bad news is that only one of us can make the semifinals. Bad news for Matimar, that is. You all made Rugby Girl happy by advancing to where we meet up in the brackets. Now you'll make me even happier when you go home. Being neighborly has limits. So enjoy your run while it lasts, and know that when the haka begins your time in the tournament is coming to an end.

Hei konā rā!

[Saugeais]

RUGBY RAMBLINGS

Well, thank god that is over with. I don't think I could've taken another day of this rugby; I've already developed a nervous twitch whenever someone around the office says the word "try." We lost to the superior rugby nation of Swartaz, superior as in they are ranked higher than us in the world. They fully deserved their 3rd overall rank after the physical display shown on the pitch yesterday against our hapless team. Sure we did manage to reach the try zone twice in the first half, but our no good kicker Josef de Jong couldn't hit a single conversion. Of course after the match was already decided, he goes at sinks a sure drop kick, but by then Swartaz where still ahead by 20 points with very little time left on the clock.

At least they'll get to face the wrath of Rhodesiah next round instead of us; we most certainly would've been killed going against them. Until then, I'm going back to watching our Premier League. Hopefully Les Alliés get back to power soon; can't have teams like Maystead and Pays de Croix steal our limelight. Peace.

-Brian Michaels

[Cyborg Holland]

Cyborg Holland: 28
Tries: van Houte (34), Romeijn (63), Abrahaamsen (67)
Conversions: Simonis (x2)
Penalties: Simonis (x2)
Drop Goals: Romeijn (x1)

Polar Islandstates: 8
Tries: Pamyatnikh (27)
Conversions: N/A
Penalties: Pamyatnikh (x1)
Drop Goals: N/A

Cyborg Holland's biggest international match in history saw three changes made to the starting XV. Isaak Matthiasen was brought in for Fred Gelen, Alb Hummel for Sevastian Oster, and Vilfred Kristensen for injured Number 8 Johannes Tholberg. Whether he was fit for the next game, should they make it, was a serious question.

The Game kicked off with Cyborg Holland playing left to right in thier unfamiliar all-red strip. The opening minutes were conducted in between the two 10m lines, with Simonis and Pamyatnikh pinging kicks back and forth. The first chance for the Dragons came when Polar fullback Jesper Enger spilt an up and under from Simonis and was pounced on by in-form winger Laurits van Houte. But the Polar back line managed to regroup quickly, and they stopped the Dragons from clocking that early pivotal score.

However, they get a score, but one they'd perhaps not be wanting as much as a try. Hands in the ruck from a Polar forward gave Simonis a chance at goal, and he smoothly slotted it between the uprights, 3-0 Cyborg Holland, 22 minutes gone.

But this lead lasted but only five minutes, when to the dismay of (almost) every fan in the stadium, Polar Fly Half Jonas Pamyatnikh managed to find a gap in the otherwise tight Cyborg Holland back line and make a piercing run towards the goal line. Avoiding the tackles of Huw Romeijn & Laurtis van Houte, he skipped through to score in the corner. He couldn't convert his own score though.

This woke Cyborg Holland up and the speed of the play increased. The hits came in harder, the ball was spread farther and the runs were quicker. Cyborg Holland took the ball from the kick off and slowly worked it up to the Polar Islandstates 22m line. 29 phases in, and they were looking to make the possession count. Nicolaas Meeuweszen spied a cross-kick over the other side of the field to Laurits van Houte. An inch perfect kick, followed by a brilliant step and dummy from van Houte put Cyborg Holland right back in the game. Simonis once again had no problems with the kick from the corner, slotting it to make it 8-5.

The game appeared to grind to a halt afterwards. Few chances for either side, as they both appeared to want to sit back and absorb the other teams pressure. The only score coming before the half was a drop goal from Full Back Huw Romeijn, just to give Cyborg Holland that edge going into half time. The whistle went, with the Dragons roaring ahead 11 points to 5.

Both sides came out fresh and renewed, and Polar Islandstates were the first to register a second half score. Fly half Pamyatnikh kicking over an easy 22m penalty. Polar Islandstates looked liked they could have easily pulled themselves back into a winning position, if it weren't for the valiant goaline defence of captain Schniejder & Oster on two seperate occasion, denying Polar Islandstates that priceless score.

Then came the moment of truth. Polar Islandstates had a ruck to the right hand side of the pitch on the half way line. Dmitry Ovsiannikov sprung it wide, only for it drop short of Pamyatnikh and bounce awkardly for him. In steps lightning quick full back Huw Romeijn, caught in the action after a swift kick forward from the Dragons. Pouncing on the ball, Romeijn proceeded to leg the entire length of the pitch, burning the Islandstates full back in the process to score under the posts, much to the delight of the now 17,000-strong Cyborg Holland fan division. Simonis converted it and gave the Dragons thier first glimpse of a semi final finish in any major tournament. 16-8

Things got even better for the team just 4 minutes later. Cyborg Holland had moved quickly forward and they looked threatening. Reaching the 22m line, Simonis again played a key role, playing through a perfect grubber kick straight into the diving hands of Sebastiaan Abrahamsen and over for another score. Simonis couldn't add the extras, but he converted a penalty two minutes later to round off the match.

And that ended Cyborg Holland's greatest ever game of Rugby Union. Beating the World's 9th ranked side and marching on to the quarter finals, where the play the only un-ranked side, Ko-oren, who they beat comfortably in the group stages. So does the semi final beckon?

[Saugeais]

QUARTER FINALS

84733842 23–21 Ka Mate

Rhodesiah 26–16 Swartaz

Kulverint 30–8 Ancharmunn

Cyborg Holland 41–13 Ko-oren


Semi Finals

84733842 vs. Rhodesiah at Vauxen Park
Kulverint vs. Cyborg Holland at Lowlands Stadium