World Cup LXI (61) RP Thread

[Bisim]

Bisi Victory in first ever WC game
a breif article by Lombardi Times writer Kris Debon

The stadium roared at the closing notes of the Bisi athnem "City of God." The tune combined with the heavy emotions from the crowd brought tears to the eyes of sevreal members of the Bisi squad. One broadcaster described it as, 'One of the best moements in all of sports, when it really sinks into a team that they are world class, competeing with the very best from all over the world."

Imagine the emotions then, when the Bisi squad first scored.

The place: A staduim filled with fans form both sides- screaming the heads off, mostly for the game but some because the hot dogs sucked.

The time: Seven mintues into the first World Cup game in Bisi history.

The Event: A goal blasted in behind the goal keeper from outside the pentaly area.

The scorer: Bisi captin S. Kevin Hand- age 35

The celebration- still going on.

[Phoenigetuzstha]

QEP News, The Most Watched News Channel in Phoenigetuzstha

Holy Day Costs Phoenigetuzstha Dearly

Phoenigetuzstha had come off a pretty routine victory over Free South Califas and headed into the game against the Arcadian Isles full of confidence. That is until they realised the day of the match against the Arcadian Isles fell on the same day as the Shâdi az Melqart, the festival which lasts the whole day, and involves the sacrifice of a human and a cow in the temple of Melqart. Then, the whole population of each city goes to their respective harbour and releases a boat, with a cow on it. Later in the day, people go and make their own personal sacrifices to Melqart, and this last for 3 days. Due to this, many of the Phoenigetuzsthan players were absent. Three were left to face the whole of the Arcadian team, which lie a lowly 310th in the world. Not even manager Nebuchad Bel-Hammonis was there, he to was off at the festival.

The three players present were the Hammoiya brothers, who are well-known for being Muslim, and Jambleev Khairullian, who is a second generation Phoenigetz-Uzbek, and is too a Muslim. Since no one was at the game apart from the players, no one knows exactly what happened, but reports suggest that Phoenigetuzstha were beaten heavily. However, the Gods must come before football, and it is great that the players showed such respect to the Gods in attending the festival rather than going to the football.

This setback has put a huge dent in qualification hopes for Phoenigetuzstha, and it'll be certainly at least until the next cup before they'll be in with another shot, but there is no harm done after this loss under the circumstances, we must hope that Phoenigetuzstha perform better against Karditan.

[Leorudo]

The Leorudian noise that had filled the stadium continued for the better part of the first half, screaming and whistling and yelling. If it was not for the way the stadium was acting, Leorudo would have probally fared much worse. The were getting dominated, but as always, Scena Tartarus kept making save after save. The only intresting spectacles of the first half were players, mainly from the forgien Qazox, slipping over the damp field. The first halves came to a close, niether team had score, but at the beginning of the second half, a Qazox player finally weaved through defenders and score. A name listed as Soai Fu'anuoa appeared on the scoreboard. This goal, combined with the halftime rush to get more food and drinks, quited the Leorudian crowd. The Leorudians started their attack agian, after failing to get a shot past the Qazox keeper, the rebound went back to Jim Fenlon, who passed to Luke Moore, who took another shot. Another rebound, but this time it went straight back to Luke, in a blink of an eye Luke passed it to Jim. Without thinking, Jim Fenlon fired a shot at the keeper. The shot sputtered forward. It would have been an easier save for the Qazox keeper if he had not been bloodied by the past shots being fired at him, and he finally let one in. Leorudo had tied the game. In that very instint, in that very piece of time in our frail universe, Leorudo had scored an international goal. The crowd erupted once more, and the Leorudians had shown their fans hope. But the veteran Qazox team battled back, not leaving anything for grabs. Forcing their way up the pitch. Another strike was fired at Tartarus. His extended fingers only grazed the ball as it flew into the back of the net. The Leorudian crowd was shocked. They could not comprehend how the game had turned in their favor, then out, then in, then out agian. The were just simply baffled. For the rest of the match, the fans were much less excited. The Leorudians charged once more, but time was on the Qazox side, and a last ditch shot from basically the middle of the pitch swung and ducked towards the Qazox keeper. This shot was from a Rassid Yussu, who specialised in this kind of shot. The Qazox keeper changed the direction of his dive about three times during the course of the shot, but finally, the ball spun the keeper's way and he made the save. The game was lost, and Leorudo had fell the eighth in their division. The fans stated for post-match interview that were being told throughout the stadium. A male reporter wearing a suit walked up to Leonardi Opladius, and asked him for his opinion. Leonardi then told the millions of people watching at home or in the stadium,"Leorudo was expected to lose this game by a five goal margin. We lost by one goal. Leorudo was predicted to score four times total in the World Cup. We scored a goal tonight agianst the twenty-second best club in the tourney. Our fans created an atmosphere that can be matched nowhere! We can only improve from this point on! Easier teams are preparing face us! The road gets better! We must stick it through until the end! Because if we do! It might not be this year. It might not be next year. It might not even be the year after that. But we will prevail! Together! Let me hear my home's people cheer once more, because we hung in there agianst a team that beat our "equal" by six goals, because we are young and unexpierienced, because we lack depth, because we are new to the show, because-" he paused for a moment. "-it can only get better." The crowd roared for the first time in a half of an hour. The stadium emptied with the fans mostly staisfied with defeat, but that is part of the game, but they all thought the same thing."It only gets better."

[Armed Bears]

"Well, I didn't hrreally expect the Belles to win that match, although of course it would have been verry nice if they did: Did you?"

"Not hrreally, no. Playing against a team like Aguazul was always going to be an iffy proposition, and having the match 'away' didn't exactly help neither."

"Especially with all of those soldiers stationed around the stadium, and the tanks just outside, and the hrregular over-flights at low altitude by war-planes. Hrrather worrying, that, I had to wonder hwhether they were actually expecting an attack of some kind... or even planning a mass Ursicide of the visiting fans!"

"Worrying, for true! But I think that that was just their government being a bit parranoid, hwhich i gather isn't unusual for them.
"Mind you, it probably put our girls a bit off-balance, and so contrributed a bit to their being defeated."

"Maybeso. Well, anyhows, that was two goals for them -- one each for each of their starting strikers, Lanos and Valcárcel -- and none for our girls... so a second defeat in a hrrow. Urrgah! It smells as though the Belles are hrreally going to have to pick up their socks if they even hope to to end qualifying at the same place in the group as they started, let alone if they want to qualify."

"Ayyuh, I know. And it's another away game, and against a team that's ranked only just below ours at that, next... even if the girls do have their first 'bye day' of the series before then. Margaret must seriously have had fun with this group's draw..."

"Must "seriously have had fun", you say?"

"You know hwhat I meant."

"Ayyuh, just joking."

[Bisim]

From "Bisi Sporting World" TV show

Peter Yager: After Bism's 3-0 vitory over Conclespia the Bisi goal keeper, Rose, was willing to stop by our studio for a few quick questions.

Rose: Its always my pleasure to be here for the media.

Yager: Thats not surpiseing since you had a majored in TV broadcasting before going pro.

Rose: Let's not talk about that....

Yager (laughing): Alright then, You've kept a clean sheet in your first to games of this World Cup, how important is this to you?

Rose (smiling): We its very important- not only to me but for the team. You can't win games when the other team scores to much. Of course the offense is helpful to.

Yager: Indeed, given that both Strikers and Midfeilder Vince VonBertensun scored. VVB (OOC: His nickname) and Clepo Yadle both scored off of set peices.

Rose: Well, Clepo's peice was a bit scary. He was taken down hard from behind inside the box by one of the Defendeder, I'm not quite sure which. He stayed down for a little bit but was fine enough to score the pentaly and play on. Thank goodness the defender was booked.

Yager: Yes, I suppose good calls and officating are things we should all be thankful for.

[The Icemark]

World Cup Set-Back As Licentiapacisterra stun The Icemark

The Icemark 1 – 2 Licentiapacisterra

World Cup Qualifier
Stadium: Odin’s Hall, Frostmarris
Attendance: 10,000

TheIcemark have been the benefactors of many shocks in their brief history, but never before the recipient of defeat to a lower ranked team. It must have been a strange feeling to behold to go into the game as favourites, but to not come away with anything.

What will have worried Player/manager Redrought Lindenshield even more so is the fact that the defeat was on their home soil. It’s true traditionally, The Icemark’s greatest results have been on the road, but the manner of the defeat will have left most of the watching supporters with a bitter taste in their mouths

Sometimes Performances may be more important than results in these early games but yesterday The Icemark failed on both counts. While defeats of this kind are hardly the stuff of crisis, especially when suffered by an Icemark team which has had the guts torn out of it by injuries to both their central defenders, the way in which a Licentiapacisterra team, hastily formed after their previous side had been wiped out in a plane crash in Cyborg Holland, managed so casually to move up a couple of gears and win the match once they had fallen behind provided a warning against unrealistic expectations which were beginning to form after their bright start on the opening day.

For Managers no match is a complete waste of time but the majority of things Redrought Lindenshield may have learned from this dubious exercise will surely be negatives. Neither Lindenshield or L Celeste had much joy during the game, although the unimaginative labours of The Icemark’s midfield were never going to see the strikers at their best. This and the regularity with which the ball was given away bore echoes of The Icemark’s last defeat, when they were so easily brushed aside in the Cup Of Harmony Quarter-Final.

The first half saw the Icemark looking a disjointed team and lacking much cohesion. Licentiapacisterra were no more impressive, but at least they looked a little more threatening.
Theowin’s persistence did lead to The Icemark going in front early in the second half. Although heavily beset by Licentiapacisterra yellow shirts, she simply refused to yield the ball, finally prodding it to L Celeste for a sharp shot into the bottom corner.

Theowin’s wonderful creation of the first goal was cut out five minutes later when she lost the ball to Archie Ferguson, whose superb shot from just outside the penalty area beat the Icemark goalkeeper.

The Icemark thought they had scrapped a point, and playing as badly as they had done that would have been a welcome if undeserved bonus. But in stoppage time the Icemark goalkeeper, Iphignea brought down Martin McIntyre, who dully converted the resulting penalty. The travelling supporters went into ecstasy, while the home fans couldn’t believe what they were seeing.

Player Ratings: Iphignea 4, Grimswald 5, Carnwulf 4, Hereward 4, Witchmother 5, Annis 4, Stagapoulos 4, E Celeste 4, Theowin 6, Lindenshield 4 (Sigurdson 3), L Celeste 5

Match Facts:
Shots On Target: 3 - 5
Corner Kicks: 3 - 4
Bookings: 1 - 0
Sending Offs: 0 - 0
Possession: 48% - 52%

Group News:
Sargossa have taken complete control of the group after thrashing Danaelia 7-0. It's only early days but Sargossa's goal difference is already looking extremely imtimidating.
The Kytler Peninsulae recovered from their opening day defeat to record a 3-1 win over Remad, while Taeshan’s first match saw them take a narrow 1-0 win at Ayrshire.

Team                                 P  W D  L For Ag  +/- Pts
 1 Sargossa                             2  2 0  0  11  0  +11  6
 2 Licentiapacisterra                   2  1 0  1   2  5   -3  3
 3 The Icemark                          2  1 0  1   2  2   +0  3
 4 The Kytler Peninsulae                2  1 0  1   3  2   +1  3
 5 Taeshan                              1  1 0  0   1  0   +1  3
 6 Danaelia                             2  1 0  1   1  7   -6  3
 7 Remad                                2  1 0  1   2  3   -1  3
 8 United Federation of the World       1  0 0  1   0  1   -1  0
 9 United Commonwealth of Ayrshire      2  0 0  2   0  2   -2  0

Next Opponents:
The Icemark travel next to Danaelia, who made the last 16 in the Baptism Of Fire. They won their opening encounter, but got a reality check as they were thrashed by Sargossa. Both sides will be looking to get back to winning ways. The Icemark’s defensive style will counter Danaelia’s more offensive style and should make for an interesting game.
The Icemark should have the boost of having their central defensive partnership back after missing the latest game due to injury. The Icemark can’t afford to slip up again this early in the qualifiers, or it will be an uphill struggle to compete with Taeshan and Sargossa at the top.
(Prediction: Danaelia 0 – 1 The Icemark)

[Bears Armed]

"STEAM-HRROLLERRR!!!"

"Hwhere?!?"

"Don't worry, no danger, I was just talking about this game's hrresult: You know, as in "The Belles absolutely steam-hrrollerred their opponents here today", hrright?"

"Ah, hrright. Oops! I was so amazed by the hrresult itself that I can't have been thinking clearly enough."

"Fair enough, fair enough."

"So, that's a hat-trick for Imbrhra/Umbrhra, managed completely within the opening eighth of the game; then a goal forKarramarrsar Thyrrinthra, two for Amarra Sunwatcher, and one for Syrrae o Wirrenne... and all of those before half-time!"

"Ayyuh, a stupendous score, hrrather better than I expected."

"Hrrather better than the boardies* expected, too, I gather.

"For true! Those of the fans who were willing to bet money on such a decisive win will be taking home a fair return on their stakes, and then some."

"Even though our girls then took it hrrather easier during the game's second half."

"Ayyuh, well, there wasn't much point in them hrrubbing the Inthesmallnation players' faces any deeper into the mud, was there?"

"Not really, I suppose, or anyhows not much of one... although the fact that that relaxed attitude then let those other players claim back a goal instead of ours keeping hwhat some people in the sporting press call a 'clean sheet' was a disgrace: An absolute disgrace!"

"Because of course you could play football at the international level at full intensity for a full watch** without maybeso relaxing a bit if your team was that far ahead?"

"Wellll..."

"Quite."

"Anyhows, at least Karra o Hara managed to score another goal for the Belles after that, to hrreturn their lead to seven goals, was something."

"And hwhat a goal that was! The ball kicked into the ground just past the half-way line, and only popping up again hrright in front of the goal! Incredible!!!"

"That's for true!""


____________________________________________________________________________________


OOC
* "boardies" is actually short for 'board-carvers', but the colloquial equivalent in the British & American forms of English is "bookies".
** a 'watch' is a sixteenth of a day (midnight-to-midnight) according to Ursine Standard Time, i.e. equivalent to 90 minutes as in [coincidentally] the standard length for a football match.


(Our next match, at home to New Pebble Island, will be played at Wimbley Stadium.)

[Free South Califas]

From the Index of Contemporary Political Pamphlets of South Califas, Volume 376, Chapter 15, presenting the Califan pamphlet "Contrasting Conceptions of Freedom", published by the South Figueroa Libertarian Reading Club and distributed heavily at home football matches as noted by the Los Angeles Times, the Pasadena Worker and the San Diego Union over the span of pre-WCQ friendlies.

The Index of Contemporary Political Pamphlets of South Califas is available for reference or purchase at the following locations convenient to international footballers, fans and staff:
- South Figueroa Libertarian Reading Club (SFLRC) table at matches in Los Angeles County; see tabling maps at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, the Rose Bowl Stadium, and the Carson Soccer Center for details
- All reference libraries in the University of Califas at Los Angeles, located in Westwood near Pasadena and the Rose Bowl Stadium; now open from 0930-1500, seven days a week, for all visitors.
- San Diego County Political Literature Distribution Committee (SDCPoLDCom) table at matches in San Diego; see tabling maps at Gaslamp Quarter Stadium, Mission Valley Stadium and Torero Stadium for details
- The reference library at San Diego Federal University, a short walk from the campus rail stop on the Green Line, which you can board directly at Mission Valley Stadium, or change over from the Orange Line surrounding Gaslamp Quarter Stadium. As a reminder, footballing visitors with an interest in politics are invited to help support the libertarian economic experiment of Free South Califas by renting dormitory space at SDFU, with convenient high-speed rail access to Mission Valley Stadium and Gaslamp Quarter Stadium and a low-cost federal shuttle to Torero Stadium. Low cost by your currency's standards, anyway.
- The reference desk of Mission Valley Central Library at Fenton Parkway, about a mile south from Mission Valley Stadium on Friars Road.

"Contrasting Conceptions of Freedom" is also available in reading and printing formats at http://pamphlets.fsc/SFLRC/WC61/CCF.pdf.

Many international visitors ask what Free South Califas means. The short answer is simple enough, as any Califan will tell you. "Califas" came to be the post-national identity claimed by unified revolutionary libertarian forces in the USAmerican state of California. "South", for the megaregion once called Southern California which broke off to form its own minimal federal union of community, workplace and defense collectives, otherwise known as the Ten Counties of South Califas (or more precisely, the many collectives which delegate them, the Federated Communities and Economies of the Ten Counties of Free South Califas.). "Free" means that our systems of governance are meant to protect individual and collective self-government from all forms of coercion that are feasible to proclude in a civilized and democratic society.

But what does it mean to be free, really?

As our readers likely know, our Federation split off from another federal body utilizing the politics and rhetoric of freedom, then known as the United States of America. However, there are few similarities even on the superficial level. How can such different unions be nominally organized on the same principle?

It is a common mistake to consider "freedom" as a clear concept with consistent boundaries across all cultural and political contexts. A minimal serviceable definition of freedom is obvious to anyone who has tasted it, even for a moment. This definition will soon be found wanting by most, except by bullies and sociopaths, who would have the advantage of domination or surprise in a totally free system. After all, if I am free to punch your face, you are not free to retain your current maximum health, beauty, security or happiness. This false freedom was eloquently dismissed in the old novel "Lord of the Flies", where life was "nasty, brutish and short" once supervision gave way to total freedom, and the strongest and most brutal children took power among their ranks. As such, total freedom is paradoxical: when there is total freedom given, there is little freedom taken, and by few.

Other conceptions of freedom are less than total, and thus make some degree of compassion, mercy, protection or social contract possible. Once it is clear that a speaker is not referencing total freedom, the worst sort of anarchic brutality, then it is easy for hir to raise positive emotions and summon popular support by giving lip service to "freedom". But it is not enough simply to ask, as the old radicals did, "Free for whom?" Another important question is, "From whence this freedom come?" For example, libertarian socialists of the 20th century noted of the so-called "free market" consensus enforced by USA federal government and its friends that it actually requires state coercion to function, thereby reducing the actual freedom of the market (conceived more broadly than as a euphemism for the most privileged and powerful executives). After all, the freedom of managers to surpass all possible trade barriers implies the suppression of those who are managed, and their freedom to dispute the just legality of contracts forced on them by the brutal dictator called circumstance. Having long since benefited as a class from the large-scale theft of the commons and of individual sustenance stock, people empowered to make decisions for hierarchical corporations--be they public or private of any sort--have the freedom to trap workers in conditions which they themselves would deeply resent if their roles were reversed. It was eventually decided in South Califas that this conception of freedom was insufficiently democratic, with a vicious and destructive character, actively preventing the cultivation and enjoyment of freedom which was nominally accepted as a universal right in the political discourse.

The "free market consensus" having been dispatched as another false freedom, it still remained for the shocked and bloodied occupier-revolutionaries to organize a system of governance which would truly secure, consolidate and protect the greatest feasible amount of freedom for all...

To be continued

[West Angola]

Namibe Register

West Angola off to Poor Start

West Angola is off to a worse-than expected start in Group 2 as they attempt to qualify for the first time in club history. The team expected to be 2-0-0 at this point with a satisfying goal differential, but instead has only 1 win and a draw, with a lowly GD of +1. The team desperately needs to pick it up tonight as they have a crucial match against Antoletia, a team they need to win two against to have even a hope of qualifying. The team heads into the match tonight with much trepidation, badly needing to win.

Match Preview: (#62)Antoletia at (#75)West Angola

Antoletia:

World Rank: 62

Previous Appearances:
Baptism of Fire 41: 0-0-3, 4th in Group
World Cup 60: 5-7-2, 4th in Group
World Cup 59: 7-1-4, 2nd in Group, Lost in Playoff to Erathore
World Cup 58: 11-3-2, 1st in Group; 0-1-2, 4th in Group
World Cup 57: 5-4-7, 5th in Group
World Cup 56: 5-1-8, 5th in Group
World Cup 54: 0-2-8, 6th in Zone
Cup of Harmony 48: 1-1-4, 4th in Group


West Angola:

World Rank: #75

Previous Appearances:
Baptism of Fire 45: 3-1-1, 3rd in Group
World Cup 58: 4-4-8 in Qualifying Stage, 7th in Group
World Cup 59: 5-2-5 in Qualifying Stage, 5th in Group
World Cup 60: 8-1-5 in Qualifying Stage, 3rd in Group
Cup of Harmony 50: 1-1-1, 3rd in Group
Cup of Harmony 51: 0-1-2, 4th in Group

Our Analysis: This should be a great game. Antoletia has had great success in recent years, but fell off a bit in World Cup 60, whereas West Angola is a rising squad who hopes to improve upon a record third-place finish in that Cup. Both sides should play very well, and this match could very well end in a draw, or be decided in the closing minutes.

Our Prediction: West Angola 1, Antoletia 1

Group 2
7 Cassadaigua
30 The Archregimancy
62 Antoletia
75 West Angola
154 TaQud
199 Farfadillis
253 Transilveinia
329 Yorobia
UR Sameba

West Angolan Football Schedule:

1. vs. Sameba (Unranked) 2-2
2. at Yorobia (329) 1-0
3. vs. Antoletia (62)
4. at Transilveinia (253)
5. Bye
6. vs. Cassadaigua (7)
7. at Farfadillis (199)
8. vs. The Archregimancy (30)
9. at TaQud (154)
-Mid Qualifying Break-
10. at Sameba (Unranked)
11. vs. Yorobia (329)
12. at Antoletia (62)
13. vs. Transilveinia (253)
14. Bye
15. at Cassadaigua (7)
16. vs. Farfadillis (199)
17. at The Archregimancy (30)
18. vs. TaQud (154)

Won (1) Drew (1) Lost (0)Should Win (8) Might Win (1) Toss-Up(0) Might Lose (1) Should Lose (4)

Note: Should Win denotes 66-100% chance of winning, Might Win denotes 56-65%, Toss-Up denotes 46-55%, Might Lose denotes 36-45%, and Should Lose denotes 0-35%

Projected Final Record (W/D/L): 10-2-4

Projected Group Position: 4th

[Sargossa]

296 years from now . . .

Somewhere within the Larissan Desolation - Nuevo Candelariasian Sub-Sector - Rushmori Centarus


Beep

“Pardon?”

Beep

“There it is again. What is that?”

“I think.” Excavatory Serf Garius Del Vicius Di Pardo Montoya glanced at the scanner’s display, a note of disbelief in his voice. “I think we’ve actually got something.”

“Really?” Professor Gilberto Croob, leader of this erstwhile exhibition looked genuinely shocked. Ever since he had come to the conclusion that the only way to delve into the psyche of the Rushmori folk of old would be to study their sporting artefacts the professor had been regarded as something of a . . . well . . . what’s a nicer way of saying nutter? Five different digs, five different sites and precisely no results had not improved that reputation. His pay masters at the Central Palace of Learning were growing tetchy. Or he assumed they were growing tetchy. There's one thing you can say about a disembodied brain in a jar, they have one hell of a poker face.

But the good professor had stuck to his guns as he tried to piece together the jigsaw that made up life before The Age of Dark. Sport had caused the Darkness, after a Qazox victory at World Cup 89 had led to a bloody great rift in the very fabric of reality itself, so sport could probably help shed some light. Stands to reason doesn't it? So here he and his team where, deep within the desolation, on a pitch of dirt surrounded by the remains of four vaguely rectangular structures on what had once been a territory of the Second Great & Bountiful Sargossan Empire. And they had found something.

“So?” He paced impatiently as his Excavatory Serf excavated. “What is it?”

“It would appear to be . . .” Montoya held up the object he’d just uncovered. “The lower part of a leg, left by my guess. With the remains of a studded shoe on its foot.” He returned to the scanner and widened its radius. “And we’re getting similar readings from an area roughly 130 by 90 yards in size. There would seem to be more than two dozen individual readings.”

The day pressed on and the team discovered a collection of similar remains, an arm here, a foot there, a scrap of red clothe by that rock on the right. No not that one. Bit further. Bit more. There you go.

“What could have happened here?” The professor scratched his head. “The ancient records list some kind of sporting arena as standing on this site. But this is more like a mass grave.”

“Perhaps they practised some kind of gladiatorial combat?”

“It’s possible but we’ve found no indication that . . .”

He was stopped as a junior researcher rushed over, a scrap of yellowing material in his hand.

“Sir! Sir! I’ve found something.”

“Don’t just stand there. Let me see.” He delicately unfolded the parchment, large portions of it withering to dust in his grasp. But he could still make out a little bit of wording.

‘. . . and they’ll be digging up bits of Danaelish footballer for years to come after the visitors were chewed up and spat out by this devastating Sargossan attack. The visitors simply had no answer as . . .’

“Aha!” Professor Croob smiled triumphantly.

“Sir? What is it?” The researcher was desperate to know. “What have we uncovered?”

“Context.”

[Slembana]

Post match-interview of Slembana manager Ian Harvey and star striker Val Kylx

Interviewer: Val, Ian. Hello.

Val: Hello

Ian: Hello.

Interviewer: We'll start with you Ian. Your shouting at half-time was very loud! We could hear every word you were saying!

Ian: Yes. I was fuming! We were 2-0 down at half-time to a team of robots in our first-ever home international. Today was a special occasion for all of us - me, the players, the fans, the president, the prime minister, the citizens, the media like you - you get the point.

Interviewer: What else was going on inside the dressing room at half-time, Ian?

Ian: I was shouting, as you all know, but I was also throwing food at the players. It was total madness.

Interviewer: Ian, there was no noise from the dressing room at the end of the game. We lost 3-0. I guess you weren't bellowing at the players because you were afraid you would lose your voice!

Ian: (chuckles) Yeah. I was also too shocked and too angry to shout.

Interviewer: What do you think about the game?

Ian: I'm very disappointed at the score. Yes, we were 2-0 down at half-time, and weren't dominant in the first half, but we really should have scored at least one in the second half. And them scoring right at the end to make it 3-0 really hurts.

Interviewer: On to you, Val. We have got to start at the shirt incindent. What was going through your mind when you started the fight?

Val: The robot came up to me and said (puts on robot voice) weak-puny-human (crowd chuckles slightly). I then got angry with him, and snapped back: Well, at least I'm a human. The Robot then got angry with me, and ripped off the bottom of my shirt. It was now jagged, with my bare stomach showing. I could hear the SBZ fans say "weyyy", as if to cheer softly.

Interviewer: We saw you come over to the dugout to get a drink. And then we saw Ian and assistant manager John Poeland speak to you. They said that you should get a new shirt on. However, you ignored their calls, saying that you looked "sexy" with your bare stomach showing. (crowd chortles)

Val: Yeah. The other players told me to change my shirt too. But I like it. I do look sexy with my bare stomach showing (but with my shirt still on). (crowd chuckles) Also, from now on, whenever I score a goal, I'll bang my stomach with both my hands, in memory of today, even though we lost.

Interviewer: What do you think about the result?

Val: We should have won. We really should have scored at the very least.

Interviewer: Ian, Val: Thanks. Goodbye.

Ian: Goodbye

Val: Goodbye

[Khytenna]

Island 6 news

Disapointing start to opening game

Khytenna: 1

Bady 90+1

Holy Empire: 1

Isaac the Prince Imperial 22nd

this was a result that the bookies did not expect, with Khytenna getting their first point in a draw against world number one side, the Holy Empire, thanks to a well taken free kick in the last moments of the game, and the tenatoius attitude by the khytenna players

The holy empire came out blazing and attacked the Khytennan defence, much like the world number one's should, Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich- grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitz- weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of New Nicea (much like his name) was a hand full for the Khytenna defence, but Khytenna managed to pull together well, in recent games defence has not been the strong point of the boys in Black, but the Holy empire found them hard to break down, it was Isaac the Prince Imperial who made a shot from long range and hammered it in the top left corner, Khytenna did so well to keep them at bay, and the players looked disappointed with the goal that went in.

but unlike the last game, Khytenna managed to regroup and attack back, their defence was solid, but mentally they where on the attack, and also Firestone was being a threat to their goal, unsurprisingly, Khytenna couldn't quite get the chances they needed, the Holy Empire was to experienced a side and could defend the game out.

Khytenna looked to be slumping to another defeat, the fan's where in good spirt, the had played well and where still on the attack, the magic moment however came in injury time, falcon and a free kick outside the penalty box, right on the corner he saw a run by bady on the fair left of the pitch moving towards to left post, me made the cross towards the corner, the defence moved as Firestone went for the ball, he headed but the keeper saved the ball, Bady was their on the rebound and taped in to the net, the crowd nearly brought the roof down with the noise, 1-1 against the holy empire, whoever said Bady shouldn't of been selected will have egg on their faces tonight his position was great.

the game ended 1-1, and Khytenna must of gained confidence with that was an excellent game

line-up for next game

GK 1. Roary Troy (31 Blue Bay)

RB 15 Oliver Testerman ( 27 Dunboor FC , Cafundeu) (capt)
DC 23. Brian Bowman (25 Blue bay)
DC 18.Tao Xin ( 22, Persepi Sharks)
DC 17. Nelson Bohannan(30 Alterdamm Merchants, Gray harbour)
LB 2. Jonah Brockberg( 24, Drakes City )

RM 21. Noel Falcon (23, Keltyme Foresters)
CM 4. John Carmichael (22 Central FC)
LM 7. Trever Evelyn (22 Blue Bay)

FW 9. Fergal Firestone (25 blue bay)
FW 10. Lini Pellett (21 Atlético Jutense, Cafundeu)

[Mesoland]

MBC Sports News
Coverage of the LXI World Cup in Valanora

MESOLAND CONTINUE TO SURPRISE THE WORLD WITH A VICTORY OVER THE 182nd RANKED SIDE

Mesoland 2
Schmitt 44, Vava 86

The Islands of Qutar 1
Unknown 51

Mesoland produced an exceptional display of football at the national stadium in Tabarak last night, overcoming The Islands of Qutar who on an ordinary night would have easily outshone the up and coming Meso squad, however a dominant midfield and attacking display helped the lads secure second place in group 5 with a more than convincing 2-1 win. The boys in blue are now a step closer to qualifying in their first ever world cup, a fairly rare event.

The game started off neutrally, with both sides getting several shots away inside the first ten minutes. Akazambaa was forced to save only once, however, and the pressure remained low as Mesoland were allowed to set into a rhythm. The next half an hour was almost entirely dominated by Mesoland even though it looked as though the boys were scared to leave the midfield area for fear of losing the ball to the better team. Just before the break, striker Beritata Nukaba saw a hole in the defense and with Johan Schmitt supporting, he slipped through the gap and came one-on-one with the Qutar keeper. It looked as though Nukaba was about to be closed down, however the sheer number of Qutarian defenders who had suddenly rushed back up the field to help the goalkeeper out had also put Schmitt onside, and Nukaba played the ball to the right where Schmitt was waiting with a huge gap to shoot at and he rightly smashed it home, to the anger of the Qutar defenders who had unwittingly aided the Meso goal.

At the end of the break, The Islands of Qutar came back out and put on a show for their 4,000 fans, an unknown striker hitting home a superb volley from 35 yards to level the scores at 1-1. Mesoland were presented with several chances during the half however the team failed to capitalise with Nukaba skying two shots and hitting the bar once. Nukaba was subsequently substituted off in the 76th minute for Mohammed Yasin with a groin complaint, however we learnt after the match that he is fine to play in the next game. The Meso captain, Ikarba Nazakofye, was given a yellow card by Aquitaynian referee Nigel Johnson after a clumsy challenge on the Qutar right-back in the eightieth minute.

Mesoland continued to hold possession in midfield for the next six minutes, helping them on their way to an enviable 60-40 possession statistic at the end of the half. The drama wasn't over yet, however, as we saw in the 86th minute. Vava sprinted forward from the half way line, dodging in and out of tackles and weaving between outstretched arms and oncoming defenders. His final trick was a flip-flap, which he used to easily beat the tiring Qutar centre back before rounding on the goalkeeper, producing a powerful shot that whistled over his head and into the top-centre of the goal. The game was then mainly dominated by the Qutarians who were desperate to get an equaliser, however the Meso defence stayed strong for the rest of the game and to the home crowd's delight, Mesoland triumped 2-1, sending us to second position in the group (below Jeru FC who top Mesoland on goal difference).

The man of the match was Vava and our next game is away at the unranked Slembana.

All World Cup and BoF news and results can be found on the MBC website, http://www.mesolandbc.mz, under the sports section. Article by Hugh Biakalwe.

[Wild Isle]

WildIsle 1-1 Karditan

Group 16 Standings
  Team                          P W  D L For Ag +/- Pts 
1 Arcadian Islands              2 1  1 0  8  2  +6  4 
2 Bostopia                      2 1  1 0  5  1  +4  4 
3 Chenkorya                     1 1  0 0  2  1  +1  3 
4 Phoenigetuzstha               2 1  0 1  1  6  -5  3 
5 Beaverriver                   2 0  2 0  2  2  +0  2 
6 Wild Isle                     2 0  2 0  3  3  +0  2 
7 Karditan                      2 0  1 1  1  5  -4  1 
8 Northern Sunrise Islands      2 0  1 1  2  3  -1  1 
9 Free South Califas            1 0  0 1  0  1  -1  0

Pua'o reached for the legend book once again, he read on...

Whatwha was beggining to get tired of engulfing the fiiwha every time it reappeared. The stonwha kept building up inside the whatwha, until, a part of the stonwha poked out of the sphere of whatwha.

Pua'o put the book down for a moment, that little peice of sacred stonwha, was in fact the great volcano, now owned by Salchar, in the middle of the Salchar archipalago.

This bit of stonwha was not just any peice, it was still hot from the fiiwha. The fiiwha was finally free to attack the whatwha. The stonwha flung fiiwha high into space, then the fiiwha was sucked in towards the whatwha. With a splash, the fiiwha landed in the whatwha and became stonwha. The whatwha was scared, but angry, it tormented the stonwha, trying to get to the stonewha that was producing the fiiwha. But the stonwha was cunning, and it launched a ring of fiiwha into the air. The fiiwha landed all around the spewing stonwha to protect it from the whatwha. The whatwha kept buffeting the stonwha, but the effort was in vain, the fiiwha had won. The fiiwha shot high into the air in triumph, then landed on the stonwha and surveyed his new kingdom. The fiiwha knew that the whatwha would try to bring him down, but he was ready for anything...

[Carmadin]

The ball came across the field, it was a good pass. Very good, in fact. Actually, Kihxaw would even go so far as to say it was excellent. The ball came off Ohlahp Tahn's foot, and rolled to Xer Xán, about halfway between the mid-line, and the top of the box. However, a Bloumany defender was closing in fast on Xer Xán's right. Kihxaw had no time to check the team sheet for the name of the player, he watched, waiting to see what Xer Xán would do. Xán was not on the national team for nothing, though, as he utilized his training from Dowv Daz, crossing his right foot over the ball, and taking the pass on his left, putting his body between the Bloumany and the ball. It was a nice ruse, and drew some cheers from the crowd, but nothing like what would come next...

Good move, thought Dowv, as the Bloumany defender was effectively removed from the play. In fact, great move. Real skill. That was why Xán was on the national team, after all. Now, though, he had to face another Bloumany player. Dowv saw Heht Nihk to Xán's right. He knew what Xán would do. Those long hours on the pitch, training until it was too dark to do any more, then going another hour, were not in vain. One pass. One touch. Back to Xán, and he was in the clear! One more defender....a shuffle of feet...a nifty crossover....past him. Just the goalie now....

"Do you need the potty?"

Dowv realized, to his extreme dismay, that he was performing Kihxaw's now-famous hop from one leg to the other, but, there was no time to tell his friend to shut his mouth now.

The Bloumany goaltender, James Solomon, was out. Xer Xán looked around. A second to shoot. One second. No more. He chipped it towards the corner with his left, trying to move his right foot to trick James. It worked. The ball hit the back of the net, and a nation rose as one

Dowv Daz's dance reached a thrilling climax, a fantastic vertical leap, arms raised, as he rejoiced in pure joyful jubilation. Kihxaw's celebration was a little less heavy on the purple prose, the goalkeeper pumped his fist and muttered something positive. Xer Xán performed his signiature celebration, kissing the compass rose on the chest of his uniform, before taking the ball out, kissing that, and then kissing the ground (Xer Xán is a very kissy guy). The ball was his, the ball used to score the Carmadin's first goal of a tournament belonged to the player who scored it, and it had been a damn nice goal, too. He now slid on the ground, screming, and was mobbed by the team. A much more conventional celebration. The fans, on the other hand, went ridiculous, if that's a verb. An enourmous Carmadin flag came out, and began a circut of the stadium. Luckily, things didn't get too too hectic, and the game was restarted with a kick from the center circle before Xer could kiss anything else.

"There, a goal. And, y'know, now that you mentioned it, Kihxaw, I could use a trip to the potty."

"Well then, go. God know you aren't doing much here"

"Dammit Kihxaw"

The grin spread over his friend's face again, and Dowv sighed, turning back to the game, where the rainbow-clad Bloumanys were pressuring Carmadin again. In fact, they were pressuring very much so. Dowv promptly began shouting encouragement, and urged Kihxaw to do the same.

"Come on, Cheh, stop him, stop him!"

"Cheh, shut him dow--oh. Not like that."

Cheh Tom Jaht Kaeh had continued a tradition of defensive physicality, and knocked Robert Schmitz right to the grass. Luckily, Robert was okay, even more luckily, it was just outside the box, but that didn't stop the refferee from rushing over, a yellow card held high aloft. As he took his book out, Cheh Tom let loose with a long stream of Carmadese, much of it obscene, and all of it deragatory. Thankfully, the ref had no knowledge of the language, or it surely would have been a red. As it was, the move had given Blouman Empire a free kick from just outside the box, and a serious threat for the unranked team to score.

The Carmadins lined up, protecting their family inheritance, and Schmitz took the free kick. It arched over the wall made by the Carmadins, and Raehzoys Ohcheht was able to punch the ball away. That was the good news. The not-so-good news was that, right off the punch, a certain Mr. William Goodfellow settled, then blasted the ball into the net. Raehzoys didn't even have a chance, and the score was one-all.

"Damn it! He should have held onto that ball"

"Should have, would have, could have, didn't. Let's just get it back, come on. They're unranked. We should be able to beat them."

"I know, but..Gah!!!"

The ball hurtled over the coaches once more, this time, Kihxaw had the good sense not to tackle Dowv to the floor again. He simply caught it, and returned it to the rainbow-clad Bloumany whop asked for it. Kihxaw, his adrenaline rushing again, sat down to scream his throat out at his boys.

Just then, the halftime whistle blew. Kihxaw realized he needed a quick motivational haltime talk, and quick. As the team assembled in the locker room, he delivered his speech in a craky voice:

Okay, everybody, listen up. This is a motivational haltime talk. After this, you had sure better be pretty damn motivated. Also, I'm losing my voice, so imagine me screaming this while getting in your face. Now, about tactics. If I were you lot, I'd try to score more goals than them, because the team with the most points wins the game, as you well know. So, yeah. This motivational talk is now over. Feel yourselves become motivated, please

After those striking words of wisdom and motivation, the team took the field for the second of the two halves, Kihxaw assuming his normal place with Dowv Daz on the bench. The crowd gave a lackluster cheer, this was supposed to be a relatively easy win, and seeing the team tied up, 1-1, at halftime, was not the way they'd like it to be.

The highly motivated Carmadin team quickly got the ball into the Bloumany end, adding shot after shot to their tally against the Bloumany keeper. One of these had to break through....One did.

A blast from Heht Nihk found the lower corner, smoking past the keeper, Solomon. Carmadin had taken the lead again, and once more the fans began to chant and sing. Dowv Daz leapt high into the air once more, and it seemed that all was right with the world again...But was it?

The Blouman Empire had other ideas for what was to be the outcome on this beautiful day. They wanted their own way, a victory for the Bloumany side. They weren't going to get it, but they would draw Carmadin at three, with Nihk adding another to make a brace, and Liam Dellapae and Robert Schmitz scoring to make it a 3-3 game.

---

"3-3. Not too too bad. Actually, quite good, I suppose"

"Ah, I guess", said Dowv. "It's another point, though I would like to pick up three every once in a while."

Kihxaw grinned taking out his phone....

Game Stats

Carmadin 3-3 Blouman Empire

Xán '23 Goodfellow '38
Nihk '49 '78 Dellapae '65
Schmitz '80

[Taeshan]

So at the end of the day it was a good result for the Purple Knights. An away victory over the United Commonwealth of Ayrshire was the end result of the first match of the season for the Knights. The loan goal of the game came in the 20th minute thanks to some masterful wing play by Gwyn Juniper who would find a inward streaking Lydie who passed off to Elijah Knickerbocker in the box who scored his first career Purple Knights goal in only his second game starting. The rest of the game proved to be a right fair game of keep away as the next 70 odd minutes passed while the Knights slowly shadowed the ball around the pitch and just kept it far enough away from the home sides feet to keep it in possession.

In the end it was a masterful display by the away side who were just happy to get the season off to a good start, and set off their hopes of catching up to Sargossa and trying to win the group.

[Antoletia]

It's a crazy world out there. The thing that is the least crazy about it is that the Fire Ants will not, i repeat will not let two straight teams come into the Stadion and defeat us. Even if the next team is the Archregimancy themselves. Current Cup of Harmony champions, and the Monastic rulers of the world. OR so they thought, they came to lose and we provided them with the loss.

It wasn't even close. They tend to believe that to be pious they must try to lose, but they needn't try on this day, they were going down, down like Donky kong. The overall whoop ass that the Fire Ants handed out was not only glorious, but it must have made those Archreg's feel kinky in their cloaks.

It was a bloodfest from the beginning. Filip Constantinescu scored the first goal of the game only four minutes in on a masterful cross from Iosif Nicolescu. He would later double his tally with a majestic free kick from the right side of the field some 40 yards away. So pronounced was the Fire Ants utter domination of their opponents that two members of the team got their first caps on the day in Hannibal and Sheyenne Augustini.

The game was far from over at this point though one final goal was to be scored before the end. And it was the n00b Hannibal who would put it in. Weaving to and throw through the utterly decimated Archreg defense scoring the third goal of the game in the 75th minute. In the end it was utter domination by the Fire Ants ending the second game of the young season with their first win.

[Falconwhereveryouare]

The Eagle's Eye
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Wight the Blight

By Otis Birmingham

Welp, looks like we have more weird teams to deal with. Were you confused by the Falcons tying a group of 11 Johns scampering around a pitch in the last Cup of Harmony? At least they were all human. And, well, alive. Sort of. I'm still a little fuzzy on how the Dreamed Realm works- though I should probably brush up on that, seeing as how we were drawn with the Holy Empire. Anyways, it's fairly impressive the fight the Falconians put up against Wight (or so I'm told by my sources; I wasn't quite willing to sentence my soul to six Aeons trapped in Wight just to get a story, especially since I wouldn't have my body to right it with) even after the shell shock of the entire experience of going to Wight.

For some strange reason, foreign players are required to give up a non-essential organ in order to pass into the Uncertain Dimensions. Of course all Falconians have their appendix removed at birth, so the admission price for the players were their pilonidal sinus (except for reserve midfielder Igor Jurja; he already lacked a pilonidal sinus for reasons he refused to explain and as such gave up one twenty-third of his liver). Upon entering the Uncertain Dimensions, none of the players could quite explain what they saw. Even now I've asked pretty much the entire team and I haven't gotten a single coherent description of what the damned place looks like.

All of this taken into account, the Falconians apparently still managed a goal. At 34', Jarrel managed to dribble a low, soft shot into the corner of Wight's net. Their keeper, King Viné (who is apparently a lion riding a horse? Not only does that defy both animal's anatomy but raise the question of how such a thing could maneuver effectively enough to block any shots), was caught unawares at the opposite post, apparently.

Unfortunately, fate decided that was likely a fluke. Though the Falconian defense fought valiantly, the offense did not get in another decent drive for the remainder of the game. Without any firm pressure on them, the Wight offense could put their own pressure on our defense; though Tarbell, Halth, Kouzmanoff, and Stowe held together for a good long while under continuous attack, they couldn't hold up forever. At 70' Wight warhorse Masvidal slammed a rocket past Vladimir after a brilliant spin saw him pass up Tarbell and find open space, tying things up at 1-all. Five minutes later a bird apparently flew in the path of a cross by Almost Fabrice Muamba, the ricochet sending the ball into the net for what would be the winner. No one actually got a good look at the bird, so we're unsure if it was Marquis Naberius (who has been seen before as a black crane) or the alternate-dimensional cousin of that bird that has been plaguing the Vilitan national team for quite some time now.

Falconwhereveryouare - 1
Jarrel, 34'
Wight - 2
Masvidal, 70'
Bird (possibly Marquis Naberius?), 75'

[Mytannion]

6 months later, Pahranichny, Mytannion

Valeri slid down behind the barrier, bullets were racing above his head and if he as much as moved he would likely be picked off. He was looking to reach the other end of the pit, but the fierce fire he and the other two members of his group were coming under made this extremely difficult. Valeri signaled to one of them to move across from the barrier they were lay behind to the burnt out car that acted as a secondary barrier. The man ducked down, then stumbled to his feet and quickly tried to move across the gap between the two barriers.

"Argh!" He screamed.

"Shit! Sergey's down, Valeri!" Ruslan yelled. Valeri sighed, this was a training exercise. The top brass in the SVPO always endeavoured to make the training as realistic as possible, sure, they weren't real bullets, they were rubber, but when you were hit by them things it was pretty painful. The fact Ruslan was taking the challenge as seriously as possible was quite funny though and Valeri often found himself chuckling under his breath at the young soldier. Sergey was by now, rolling around on the ground, writhing with the pain.

The Pit Challenge was quite a simple one really, the whole aim was to get from one end to the other. Simple. Not so much when you've got your bosses and unit firing at your team of three as you move through. Of course, you also have to fire at the targets that pop-up from time to time. If you miss them it doesn't count and you have to do the whole run again. It wasn't the most difficult thing, but the bullets certainly hurt a bit when they hit you.

Valeri crawled over to Sergey, already, a large bruise was blossoming on the man's forearm. It was quite fascinating, watching the purple spread across his arm. Valeri shook his head and began dragging him behind the car, keeping his head low and away from the heavy fire that was still raining down on them. Valeri smiled, and sat Sergey up.

"Sergey, can you get up?" Valeri asked.

"Eurgh, yeah, it fucking hurts though." Sergey replied.

"We need you up mate, we need to get through here.. I can't be arsed having to do this whole thing again." Valeri laughed.

"Hah. Right, help me up mate." Sergey said. Valeri laughed again, stood, keeping his head bowed, low, avoiding the bullets by using the car as a shield. He pulled Sergey up slowly, holding him up. Sergey cradled his arm, he knew he wouldn't be very useful to his group now. Still, he'd have to do his part to help them get through the pit, all three members had to arrive at the other side, or they'd be forced to do the whole thing all over again, even with an injured man in their group. Sergey took the ammunition he had left over from out of his pockets and held them for Valeri to take.

"No! You'll need them man!" Valeri shouted, looking around for the quickest route away.

"Nah, I won't be much use in hitting targets now.. You two will have to, I'm no good to you, I'm not a marksman and I'm certainly not with this arm. Take the ammunition, I'll find a way to get out, you take the targets."

Valeri gave in.

10 minutes later, SVPO Headquarters, Pahranichny, Mytannion

Valeri sat, nervous. He was 'on edge', he hadn't been asked to appear before the top people at the SVPO before. This was a big occasion. He didn't know what he had done, normally that was the only reason someone got hauled in front of them, for having done something that was terrible, although occasionally quite funny. Valeri couldn't rack his brains in order to remember anything he had actually done though, he simply didn't have time, three men had marched into the room and sat across from him. Valeri nervously shuffled his feet from side to side. The three men were extremely different to one another, one was short, one was very tall, one was pretty average. The small man had a beard and the average man a mustache and the tall man was clean shaven. There were other differences, but Valeri was too busy worrying over what was going on. He couldn't lose his job, there were so many people unemployed and so many poor.. He couldn't join them, he'd held down this job for seven years.

"Adveev? Is that your name?" One of them asked.

"Ye- Yes sir." Valeri replied, nervously.

"We need you to go on a black-ops mission." Another said, Valeri drained of colour, these people obviously did not waste any time at all. The last mission he had been sent on had ended badly. Valeri's best friend had died, infiltrating a Lefiran drug cartel operating out of Klenfland, Crelaand and Pontinur that was sending drugs into Mytannion illegally. All drugs were legal, if people wanted to use them they were allowed to, but they were bought from the government, who regulated them and nobody else. Valeri's friend had been killed when they were destroying one of the drug stashes in Crelaand. Valeri didn't know if he was ready to take part in another mission so soon after his last.

"Yes, you and seven others will be required to land on an Othebian ship docked at an oil rig off the coast of Lemesos in the north of the country. We wish you to try and retrieve what we believe to be a nuclear device on board." Another added.

"Urm, why don't we just let them have their nuclear device?" Valeri asked, confused.

"Let them have their nuclear device?! Why, I ought to kick you out of the SVPO for that! We may have a government that allows people to do what they want but we can't jolly well let people go around with nuclear weapons!" The short man spluttered.

"Okay then.. I don't really understand, why are we doing this?" Valeri was still unsure, he didn't understand, there seemed to be no reason to do this at all. There was - maybe - a nuclear device on an Othebian ship, so what? Why should the Mytanars get involved? Surely it'd be better to not get involved in order to avoid having the nuclear device used on them.

"Don't ask questions. We've asked you to go, if you accept you go and do as ordered. We have our reasons, of which you may or not be informed in the near future." Answered the tall man, who now had a stern look on his face.

"Oh, okay then, I see. Do I have to give my answer now.. Or?"

"Preferably." Replied the tall man.

"Okay then, I'll go." Valeri gave his answer. He had to do something, sure, the last time he was on a proper mission he experienced something terrible, but he'd never get over that if he didn't continue with his life.

He had to go.

[West Angola]

NAMIBE REGISTER

History of West Angola, Part III:

West Angola, having recovered from the Angolan War and ratified the Third Constitution, moved into the future. King Jan I reigned over a checked Parliament and a nation partially ravaged by war, but managed to guide the nation into an economic upswing that would continue for the next fifty years. Unfortunately, Jan did not live to see even the first half decade of prosperity, as he died of complications from wounds inflicted from shrapnel four years after the signing of the Treaty of Luanda. The new monarch, August I, was elected bloodlessly this time, and the peaceful transition was a hallmark for what many historians consider the West Angolan "Golden Age." While August reigned only four years, he signed trade agreements with West Angola's neighbors and reopened diplomatic relations with Angola, a move which did much to repair the rift between the two following the war.

August died young, the victim of a hunting accident, aged only 41. His successor was a distant relative of the man who had led the opposition in the West Angolan Civil War, Peter Sien. The new king took the name Sien II, and pledged to continue the work of both his predecessor and his ancestor, bringing West Angola into an era of peace and prosperity. The election of Sien II marked the beginning of West Angola's first dynasty, one that would last for over fifty years, and see the nation nearly destroyed by its end.

Under Sien, the nation continued to prosper as the economy climbed and inflation dropped. West Angola and Angola entered into a formal alliance of mutual protection that brought the two nations closer than ever before, and the nation quickly became a leader within the region. However, Sien harbored his family's somewhat understandable mistrust of Parliament (they had killed his great uncle), and continued to curb their power throughout his rule, a policy that was welcomed by the people, and rubber-stamped by a pliant judiciary ready to endear themselves to the popular monarch. While this strategy was well-liked and the economy continued to improve, the policy was slowly undermining the well-being of the country, as Parliament chafed under the oppressive boot of the monarchy and slowly plotted their revenge...

[Hutt River]

Dave Lister faced a solitary journalist in a small hotel room in Euskirribakondara. The room was damp, and the air smelled strange. A fly buzzed around the room as Lister shifted the hastily put together wooden chair he was sitting on.

"Do you want to take questions now or..." said the journalist. She was Jane Eyers, who worked for the amateur news service, INN. Green eyes, brown hair, about medium sized for a twenty year old. She wasn't too keen on the idea of going to a small man-made island to spend around 20 days with a few men, a women, a cat, and some robots, but was bribed by the head of INN, who said he would give her some money if she did what she was asked.

Immigration and Emigration had been temporarily halted from Ipeland, but free passage was still allowed from the mainland to the three main islands which used to be called Hutt River, but were now under Ipelandic control. Since the existing Hutt River was designated as a foreign nation, technically access to it was barred. But this had been rarely enforced since the measures came into place, so access was relatively easy. On matchdays, Kryten took a large boat across to the nearest town and let around 1,000 or so fans go across and watch the game. The 300 or so away fans often flew to a runway on a disused island near the former Hutt River, and took another boat. When Hutt River were playing away, the team took small plane to the country they were playing in, along with journalists and whoever was deemed important enough to go with them. All of this goes for the Ipeland team too.

"Yes, but keep it quick, we need to go and train. Three questions max" said Lister. He leaned back on his chair.

"Right." Eyers looked flipped to the first page in her notepad. "First question. Are you planning to make any changes to the team after the last match against Krytenia?"

"Of course I'll make some changes. We weren't good enough against Krytenia, no excuses. All players had some part to play in the defeat, myself included, and some changes will be made in the defence."

"Interesting. Who are you thinking of resting for the match?"

"Well, me for starters. And one of the central defenders, not sure who yet."

"Why are you resting yourself?"

"Because I performed terribly last match. I let in two goals I really should've saved. Holly needs the match practice anyway." Lister got up from his chair. "Let's wrap this up. I've given enough answers to satisfy you, I hope."

---

Lister sat on the bench with Arnold Rimmer, who he had chosen to rest for the match. His replacement, the Quaagar warrior (a motorized roast chicken with wheels, controlled by Kryten) had somehow given away a penalty in the first minute after a quick Euskirribakondaran attack. The unnamed player had stepped up to the spot and was about to take it. Holly had wheeled himself across the net trying to put him off, before being warned by the referee. The player ran up and hit it. Holly moved to the left almost instinctively, after calculating he was more likely to hit to the left. The Euskirribakondaran had tricked him, and shot to his right awkwardly. It was enough to give them the lead.

"Holly, how did you not see that coming?!" said Rimmer

"He normally shoots to his left, so that's where I though he would go."

"He is a computer Rimmer", said Lister, "He can only think logically. Humans are incredibly illogical, so that makes him incredibly poor at judging things. Anyway, what's done is done, Rimmer, just let them carry on."

What followed was possibly the most incredible display of attacking force Lister had ever seen. Straight from the kick-off the team seemed much better than he had ever seen. They dominated possession and didn't allow the Euskirribakondarans a sniff at goal. Talkie Toaster and The Cat were a vicious force as they scored 5 goals between them. Kryten made four utterly fantastic assists and was unlucky not to grab a goal of his own. Rimmer and Lister throats became hoarse with cheering as the chicken on wheels scored the final goal. It was an utterly emphatic win.

[Darmen]

The 37 members of the Darmeni Society of Footballing History Board of Directors took their place at the table in front of hundreds of reporters, who were currently milling around and talking to each other in hushed voices. Exactly why the whole bunch was gathered in the Darmeni Soccer Federations main conference room was unknown, but the place was filled with excitement. The Professor of Football History at Scott City University, Callistus Nunes, who was also the President of the Society, tapped on the microphe.

"pfft... pfft... Is this thing on? I'd like to get started now."

The journalists took their seats, with several nodding their head to acknowledge that the microphone was indeed on and working. Nunes wriggled in his seat, it was rather uncomfortable, before finally deciding to just deal with it. Afterall this whole thing was only going to take a few minutes.

"Most of you have no idea why we're gathered here today. And some of you do know, but have done a great job keeping a secret. The Society thanks you for your efforts. I'd like to start off by welcoming our two newest members to the ever expanding Board of Directors, Elov Serafim and Sachie Salvai, both of whom have made substantial contributions to football in Darmen."

Nunes could tell that the journalists were growing a little anxious, they really wanted in on the secret. But this was exactly what Nunes wanted.

"I'd also would like to welcome ten esteemed members of the footballing community, who have joined us here today to learn what exactly it is that we're going to announce. I'd like to welcome Georges Thomas, President of the Darmeni Soccer Federation, and former Manager of both Scott City Football Club and the Darmeni National Team."

Thomas stood up, waving to the reporters who gave a thunderous applause to the "Hero of Darmen".

"Next, I'd like to welcome Tim O'Donahaue, current Manager of the Darmeni National Team."

O'Donahaue stood up from his seat next to Thomas', and waved to the reporters. An applause was given to him, but it was not as loud as the one that had been given to Thomas. Apparently the journalists had forgotten the 51st Cup of Harmony.

"Next, I'd like to welcome Tor Tong Lee, current Midfielder and Captain of the Darmeni National Team, Midfielder for Scott City FC, and the first Darmeni to play internationaly with Therakham ZL in the KPFA League First Division."

Lee stood up, but sat down just as quickly, which made all of the reporters laugh. O'Donahaue smacked him on the head.

Lee jumped up and looked at his coach. "Oh Coach, I think I have a concussion," said Lee in his best Victorian-era Female Liverpool¹ exagerated voice possible, "surley I can't play against Budzuela." The reporters once again burst into laughter, as O'Donahaue shoved Lee back into his seat.

"Thank you Mr. O'Donahaue. Does he normally cause this much trouble," asked Nunes.

"No Sir," responed O'Donahaue, as the reporters continued to laugh. Many thought that they were perhaps gathered for a Comedy contest between some football stars.

"Next, I'd like to welcome Zach Preston, current Midfielder for the Darmeni National Team as well as Midfielder and Captain at Scott City Football Club."

Preston got up on top of his chair and started to dance a jig, much to the horror of everyone in the room. Preston stared back at the pale faces of the reporters, and watched as some even fainted.

"Um guys, I'm not in the starting lineup anymore, remember?"

Laughter filled the room, and Preston started dancing again. When Lee joined him however, a great majority of the journalists and O'Donahaue felt their lunch travel back up from their stomach. Luckily for them Preston and Lee both sat down to allow Nunes to make the fifth introduction.

"Just... give... me... a... moment... I... need... to... catch... my... breath," gasped Nunes, as he tried to erase the memory of what had just happened out of his mind. "And now, let's welcome Bryan Faulkner, Forward for the Darmeni National Team and Scott City Football Club."

Faulkner stood up and tried to do a jig, but soon realised that his twisted ankle was still too tender to do so, and opted to just wave at the assembly. All the reporters waved back, disapointed that Faulkner was not yet ready to make his return into the lineup.

"Next, I'd like to welcome Adrian Kok, former Goalkeeper of the Darmeni National Team, and current director of Youth Football in the County of Amiens."

Kok stood up, and bowed to the reporters. The applause for Kok was quite low in terms of decibles, as the memory of giving up seven goals to New Palmouth was still fresh in the memories of just about every Darmeni.

"Next, I'd like to welvome Bob, head of the Darmeni Referee's Association, WCC licensed Referee, and former Goalkeeper for Polar Islandstates!"

Bob was quite the shy fellow off the pitch, and refused to get up from his seat. Instead he pulled his shirt over his face. It was quite clear to everyone present that the formerly homeless Referee's social skills were not quite up to par.

"Next, I'd like to welcome Troy Osborne, current Goalkeeper for both the Darmeni National Team and Eau Claire Aris Football Club."

Osborne gave a warm smile to the reporters, who gave a small applause to the Goalie.

"And lastly, I'd like to welcome Mikael Gibbons, current Manager of the Turori National Team and Eau Claire Aris Football Club, and former manager of the Darmeni and Altonan National Team's."

Attention turned towards the empty seat next to Osborne's. Preston, Lee, and Faulkner all stood up and began to chant "Traitor, traitor, traitor, traitor," and were soon joined by the reporters in the room. Troy Osborne didn't know what to do, as Gibbons was still his club Manager. Bob began to jump up and down, joining in with the others in chanting "Traitor, traitor, traitor," and had to be calmed down by both Osborne and Kok when he started to get out of hand.

"And now for the moment you've all been waiting for. As most of you know, this is Darmen's sixth qualification campaign, and World Cup Hall of Fame rules allow for one inductee per seven qualification campaign's. The ten men that I've just listed off and welcomed today have been nominated to become Darmen's first inductee into the World Cup Hall of Fame. Throughout the next ten days we will release more information regarding the voting process and other things that are involved as we embark on a journey into the history of Darmeni Football."

The whole room erupted in applause, and Faulkner forgot all about his twisted ankle as he did cart wheels around the entire room. He'd miss the next three matches, but...

---

¹Liverpool is Darmen's Hollywood.

OOC: The next ten RP's from me will be short bio's for all ten of the aforementioned gentlemen, with the tenth post also including the guidelines for the voting. That's right, you'll get to vote on who you want to see in the HoF!

[North Banrodesia]

CBC
Bringing you the latest new from World Cup LXI

Unlucky results after match days 1 and 2 for our team

So, Its coming to a close of Matchday 2 of the 61st World Cup, And the two matches that have been played so far haven't tipped in the favour of Banrodesia's national team. The first match of Monday was versus the 79 World ranked team, Kiryu Shi, And the second match was against 256th ranked team Redaya. In today's evening program, We'll go through the full detail Of each match, Going through the highs and lows of each team, Starting with Banrodesia's opening match against Top 100 ranked team Kiryu-Shi.

On Monday North Banrodesia's international team took on the Team of Kiryu-Shi, An apparently decently well known name in the world of global football. The match began at about three in the afternoon, With decent crowds of supporters from each Team, And a large clot of blue-and-black on one side of the stadium. The first half was relatively action-free, Apart from one or two free kicks from a decent distance out followed by a corner and a lucky save on Banrodesia's behalf. The match dug into the second half and in the 63rd minute, The 20 year old from Nolronte City Freddie Kellock Rocketed down the pitch and with some clever passing amongst the offense of Banrodesia, Kellock managed to get through on goal. A huge cheer went up from the Banrodesian supporters that died as quickly as it began when the ball thwacked against the goalpost with a metallic thud. The match continued much to dissapointed with Banrodesia playing more defensive for another 15 minutes whilst their momentum was recovering from the awry shot, And during this time, Kiryu-Shi placed themselves 1-0 Up with a sneaky goal from Former Gymnast Samantha DeCastro. The match Terminated 1-0 to Kiryu-Shi, A satisfying. Defeat considering the skill of the opposing team. We will bring you highlights of todays match tommorow, So tune in same time next day.

[Osarius]

Strong Start for Sahota's Side
(alliteration abuse, yay!)

Two straight wins for Osarius see them sitting atop Group 9 in World Cup qualification, taking an early lead over their most likely group rivals. Amandeep Sahota's thus-far-very-short tenure has already seen him rejuvenate the fortunes of a national side in decline, despite losing key attacking players Romario Roberts and Hamzah Ibrahim to long-term injury. In the past four years, Osarius has dropped from 36th in the world, and a World Cup qualification to a subpar qualifying campaign, culminating in non-invitation to the Cup of Harmony and being ranked just 50th in the world. While Sahota's predecessor Alain Montblanc left the national setup on bad terms, his legacy is one of technically sound, tactically astute, youth-centric football, which the new boss looks certain to continue.

Sahota has brought with him a wealth of knowledge of the Osarian game, and his well-known motivation skills and affinity for working with young players. Even the system he uses with Osarius is essentially the same as the one he used as manager of Hastmead Diamante, where he took the Fourgians from Royal League champions with an OFA coefficient less than half of that of then Osarian champions Greeningham City, to back-to-back King's League champions and Osarius' best side in a little over a decade. His "flexible frontline" approach arguably suits Osarius even better, as it allows Maria di Corradi to take a pivotal role in the team -- something she was often denied under Montblanc, operating more as an impact sub as he didn't rate her value in the possession game -- while resurrecting the Osarian tradition of having pacy wingers to torment the opposition and reducing the need for an all-round forward like Roberts. It also means that Ibrahim's absence will be less strongly felt, as his crossing from deep is not as valuable as the lethal finishing of Valenti, or dribbling skills of Cuellar, for example.

Sahota is something of an architect, having established Hastmead as one of the best in the country before departing for the national team role, and now looks set to build on the solid foundation he has inherited with Osarius. While at Hastmead, Sahota effectively had to build everything from the ground up, he has no such task this time around. The OFA have been much-maligned in recent years for their failure to support national team manager -- and Osarius' only World Cup Hall of Famer -- Alain Montblanc, and before him, the polarising figure of Benedict di Corradi, yet Sahota seems to have faced no such trouble. When AFC Hollybrent complained that the involvement of both Dean Richards and Gareth Mason in World Cup qualifying straight after being regular fixtures in the AOCAF Cup side that reached the final would adversely affect their fitness ahead of the new season, the OFA responded by issuing an ultimatum: release your players, or face fines and potential sanctions. While it's unlikely Benedict di Corradi would have wanted such rulings to be made by the sport's governing body in Osarius, the general consensus is that they never would have done so for him had he asked.

Roberto Cormega, who was recently named as manager of current King's League champions Grasshoppers Turic, chimed in with his thoughts on Sahota's tenure so far:

"He's looking pretty good so far. The AOCAF run was impressive, and probably down to his motivational ability and the hunger of the younger players. That he has such good support from the OFA is a major boost, too. I remember Benedict [di Corradi] often complained about the lack of funding the national team had for training jaunts and the general lack of support he had. [...] Amandeep [Sahota] is benefiting from the changes made under Montblanc, I think. If he hadn't pushed for major changes in the team's attitude -- and by extension, the nation's attitude -- and youth development, things would have been tougher for no matter who followed. Starting the qualifying campaign with two relatively easy games against inexperienced opposition will be a massive psychological boost, too."

- Roberto Cormega, Grasshoppers Turic manager

Cormega went on to explain that the changes to the King's League proposed for next season -- reduction of teams, and a winter break -- will only further benefit the Firebirds as they aim to become World Cup mainstays. "The winter break should help stave off fatigue a bit, and the reduced number of King's League teams is the main reason that would be possible." Cormega explained. "I'm not sure if the OFA will go for the reduction of teams, though. There's a lot of competition in the lower half of the table, and it could just end up widening the already huge gap between King's League and Royal League."

It is firmly in the minds of every fan though, that they can't get carried away. The AOCAF Cup rarely sees the best teams field their best sides, and thus far, Osarius are yet to be tested in World Cup qualifying. The first real test for the Firebirds is likely to be matchday four, when they travel to Bergnovinaia to take on a team in roughly the same position they were in four years ago. Their toughest match will come on a potentially crucial penultimate matchday, when they return to Vilita -- the site of their glorious failure in the AOCAF Cup -- to potentially secure a playoff berth, or even qualification to the World Cup proper. In the meantime, though, Serenity Lewis and Alessandro di Corradi will need to keep the team focused and following Sahota's instruction. Former Osarius captain Benni Watson, who briefly played under Sahota at Hastmead, expressed his opinion that there will be no problems on that front, however. "Amandeep isn't the kind of guy who will let you lose focus of your goal. He would set us goals all the time, even when I was in the youth team, and they were always short-term goals. Always achieveable, but never easy. Its something I maintained throughout my entire career, and I like to think it didn't turn out badly for me." He told us. Hopefully, this target-based system of motivation is just what the national team needs to drag it back into an upswing.

[Mashiki]

Mashiki Triumph Again

After their first win against Baltskandio, Mashiki recorded a second win against the moving nation of Urbis Tractus, with a result of 2-1.

The game was particularly uneventful, with Mashiki dominating in the first ten minutes, with two quick goals from Salla Denchski and Papovski. The majority of the game was boring, apart from a riot at half time, but Urbis recorded a goal in the last minute from striker, Hawk. This leaves Mashiki with two wins out of two for the tournament so far.

Here is the group table so far:

Team P W D L For Ag +/- Pts
1 Mashiki 2 2 0 0 4 2 +2 6
2 Ko=oren 2 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
3 Starblaydia 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 3
4 New Montreal States 2 1 0 1 2 2 +0 3
5 The FSSO 1 0 1 0 5 5 +0 1
6 Aexalla 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1
7 Geisenfried 1 0 1 0 1 1 +0 1
8 Baltskandio 2 0 1 1 6 7 -1 1
9 Urbis Tractus 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0

As you can see from the table Mashiki are joint top of the group with Ko-orem who they will play later in the process. The next match is against 5 time champions Starblaydia, and it should definitely prove to be a difficult one. Here is the fixture list:

MD1: Baltskandio (H) 2-1
MD2: Urbis Tractus (A) 2-1
MD3: Starblaydia (H)
MD4: Aexalla (A)
MD5: Bye
MD6: Geisenfried (H)
MD7: Ko-oren (A)
MD8: New Montreal States (H)
MD9: The FSSO (A)
-----Mid-Qualifying Break-----
MD10: Baltskandio (A)
MD11: Urbis Tractus (H)
MD12: Starblaydia (A)
MD13: Aexalla (H)
MD14: Bye
MD15: Geisenfried (A)
MD16: Ko-oren (H)
MD17: New Montreal States (A)
MD18: The FSSO (H)

Bold - Next Match
Green - Win
Blue - Draw
Red - Loss

OOC: I had a better RP lined up, but my iPod froze on me midway through and I lost all my work, so my RP is a little shorter than usual, hopefully I'll be able to do it on the computer next time.