The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Willania Imperium]

"You'll have to do better to be even seen as worthy of such a thing! Seems to me that it comes from a petty feud between the author and you, Drane. And, my name is Augustus. Augustus Willanius. Emperor and Ambassador."

"Augustus. Nice to meet you. And thank you for your support, it's greatly appreciated. Neville, a drink for my friend here, and another Kahlua and Coke for me, please."

"Thanks. I'll have another cider, please. "

Neville serves up the drinks to the duo, and each of them rests at the arms of the duo.

"Hey, have you noticed that I've set up a place for your condemnation proposal?"

[Herby]

A beep, beep, beepin’ to the beepin’ an’ don’t stop a hoppin’ to the beep, beep, yo yo yo Mista Chamber-Lane! A lovely day it is, gonna be even lovelier if ya fetch me some E85 and plug me in for a recharge. Thanks! Oh ehhhhh Q-Bert, how ya doin’ bud?

[Whovian Tardisia]

You were mumbling something about... a condemnation?"

that other chamber across the street

condemnation proposal?

A crack in the wall that had laid dormant for quite some time suddenly stretched open wide enough to insert your average novel. The splintering of the wood paneling drew Ambassador Pink's attention, as he immediately pulled out his sonic, scanned it, and began suspiciously glancing around the room. "Careful what you say in here, folks." He cautioned, his voice becoming low and sinister. "You wouldn't want to be the cause of the damage that can wreak." he added, pointing his sonic at the crack. He turned back to Sarah, cheery again. "Sorry about that. New body, senses are running a bit haywire. Care to sit? Drink?" Sarah, slightly bewildered, led him to the bar, ordering herself a martini, and Pink a Scotch.

Don't talk about the Security Council. The convention here is that, IC, it doesn't exist. This is likely due to its overtly gameplaying, as opposed to roleplaying, nature.

[Naqil]

Drane rubs his temples. "You know, there are over 25,000 WA nations. It's impossible to know everything about everyone." He turns around in his stool. "And we aren't all monotheists here. It would be wise not to make such assumptions."

“25 thousand nations?” Ixhua interrupts, looking aghast. “How?”

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Drane rubs his temples. "You know, there are over 25,000 WA nations. It's impossible to know everything about everyone." He turns around in his stool. "And we aren't all monotheists here. It would be wise not to make such assumptions."

“25 thousand nations?” Ixhua interrupts, looking aghast. “How?”

Steph looks over, but sips her beer before responding. "How is a matter for the theoretical physicists. The short version is, one man's Planet Earth is another man's Planet Urrth - or rather, there are enough Planet Earths with enough different geological configurations and political maps to fill a Magrathean factory floor a dozen times over. Somehow we all manage to meet here, on the WA Headquarters' grounds. The sheer number of nations nobody's ever heard of before, despite the fact that a vast majority are populated by humans or some other creature that most everyone would agree 'Yes, that creature evolved on a world called some variant of "Earth"' - can really only be explained that way."

She takes another gulp before continuing. "That's before we get into the various interstellar empires and cultural federacies. Suffice to say the World Assembly has a way of making, I dunno, making little two-nation territorial squabbles look like children fighting over how to divide a sandbox. My country's not even the only post-global-warming North Murrkin hegemonizing relaxed-borders republic! It's kind of daunting at first, but you get used to it."

Steph drains her beer, and slaps the glass down on the bartop. "What're ya drinkin'?"

[Naqil]

“I was drinking a mixed drink, but I think I need to upgrade to something a little more traditional. Bartender! A glass of corn beer!” She leans back in her chair. “And all of those nations fit in this headquarters. Well, that’s great. Now they’ll want me to make a list of all the ones who might take offense at some minor aspect of my nation and consider an invasion. I really don’t want to comb through 25 thousand nations to pick those out...”

She sits up straight again. “My nation’s planet isn’t called “Earth” or any variant. It’s Maliter, and I don’t know how I’ll react if I come across a nation from a bizarre AU version of it. What does “post-global-warming North Murrkin” mean?”

[Potted Plants United]

"The sheer number of nations nobody's ever heard of before, despite the fact that a vast majority are populated by humans or some other creature that most everyone would agree 'Yes, that creature evolved on a world called some variant of "Earth"' - can really only be explained that way."

"I, on the other hand, evolved right here," the hivemind said, its speaker plant moving forward to joing the conversation, "in this strange multiversal nexus of a place. Which may explain a few things about my nature. Or it might not. I'm not entirely certain what I am."

"And all of those nations fit in this headquarters."

"The nations themselves do not all exist or fit in here. Merely their representatives. Of course, not all nations send representatives here. And given the variable geometry of this building - it often seems bigger on the inside than the outside - not to mention time, it seems to be quite easy for the Building Management Office to fit in everyone who comes here. Even the representatives of some of the non-WA nations that wish to partake the debates and co-existence here."

She sits up straight again. "My nation’s planet isn’t called “Earth” or any variant. It’s Maliter, and I don’t know how I’ll react if I come across a nation from a bizarre AU version of it."

"As for your planet, if the oceans and the sky are blue, the continents varying shades of green and brown, the clouds white, and it orbits around a star, then it is fairly reasonable to classify it as "alternative Earth". Which I do not necessarily agree with, mind you."

[Naqil]

Ixhua stares at the speaker plant for a moment. “You’re a talking plant.” She stares some more. “This place really does make no sense whatsoever. And wait, you mean I might actually be able to get an office here instead of more or less living in the Bar?”

[Potted Plants United]

Ixhua stares at the speaker plant for a moment. “You’re a talking plant.”

"Well, actually I am an entity with multiple bodies, this speaker plant is just one of many. Most of my bodies are not capable of speaking, and you couldn't really tell they were part of my sapience. I personally find it much stranger that creatures such as yourself or ambassador Zakalwe here are capable of exhibiting sapience despite being restricted to a single body and - no offence - to such a tiny brain."

OOC: Something cool I learned today: an interstellar asteroid that has a shape that veeery much makes me think "spaceship".

[The Ironborne Fleet]

King Erikkur bursts into the bar despite being told, very clearly that he was banned from the bar. he slams an axe into the bar and demands a bottle of quote-unquote "mead and blood, mixed with saltwater". The bartender, cautiously, pours him the drink, while the King throws an axe at a dartboard. He appears to already be drunk somehow

[Willania Imperium]

King Erikkur bursts into the bar despite being told, very clearly that he was banned from the bar. he slams an axe into the bar and demands a bottle of quote-unquote "mead and blood, mixed with saltwater". The bartender, cautiously, pours him the drink, while the King throws an axe at a dartboard. He appears to already be drunk somehow

"Excuse me, but who are you?"

[Imperial Polk County]

"Thanks. I'll have another cider, please. "

Neville serves up the drinks to the duo, and each of them rests at the arms of the duo.

"Hey, have you noticed that I've set up a place for your condemnation proposal?"

"I'd rather not discuss such business dealings here, thanks. I'm trying to escape work for a little while if you don't mind."

A beep, beep, beepin’ to the beepin’ an’ don’t stop a hoppin’ to the beep, beep, yo yo yo Mista Chamber-Lane! A lovely day it is, gonna be even lovelier if ya fetch me some E85 and plug me in for a recharge. Thanks! Oh ehhhhh Q-Bert, how ya doin’ bud?

"Herby! Where've you been, I've missed you! Hey, you still owe me a ride you know."

[Naqil]

"Well, actually I am an entity with multiple bodies, this speaker plant is just one of many. Most of my bodies are not capable of speaking, and you couldn't really tell they were part of my sapience. I personally find it much stranger that creatures such as yourself or ambassador Zakalwe here are capable of exhibiting sapience despite being restricted to a single body and - no offence - to such a tiny brain."

OOC: Something cool I learned today: an interstellar asteroid that has a shape that veeery much makes me think "spaceship".

((I wish we could send a spacecraft out to have a look at it. That’s a REALLY COOL asteroid.))

“You’re a plant, or well, plants; you don’t have a brain at all to compare to ours,” says Ixhua. “How are you speaking? Plants don’t have mouths.”

[The Ironborne Fleet]

King Erikkur bursts into the bar despite being told, very clearly that he was banned from the bar. he slams an axe into the bar and demands a bottle of quote-unquote "mead and blood, mixed with saltwater". The bartender, cautiously, pours him the drink, while the King throws an axe at a dartboard. He appears to already be drunk somehow

"Excuse me, but who are you?"

"don't you know who I am?" King Erikkur asks drunkenly. "cause i kind of don't"

[Willania Imperium]

"Excuse me, but who are you?"

"don't you know who I am?" King Erikkur asks drunkenly. "cause i kind of don't"

"Oh, God. Aren't you a bit drunk to be here?"

Augustus quickly looks over to Neville and motions to get the drunk king out?

[Wallenburg]

"Excuse me, but who are you?"

"don't you know who I am?" King Erikkur asks drunkenly. "cause i kind of don't"

"I know that you are dangerously close to knocking over my drink, sir," responds Paulson in a professional monotone, moving his glass further down the table and safely away from the bumbling newcomer. "I also know that even drooling idiots tend to show us other patrons the courtesy of waiting to get drunk until you get here."

[Whovian Tardisia]

"He'll be fine." said Ambassador Pink as his Scotch was handed to him. "So long as those axes don't fly too close to anyone. Even then, they'll probably turn to styrofoam." He took a sip of his drink, but alarmingly coughed and spluttered. "Oh dear. I've heard that happens sometimes. New tastebuds. Oh, well." He sighed, wondering what he would drink now one of his old favorites no longer tasted good. He turned to Mr. Paulson. "You're the new chap from Wallenburg, aren't you? Recognized your men's uniforms. I've heard your nation's drinks are much less potent. Any recommendations?"

[Wallenburg]

"He'll be fine." said Ambassador Pink as his Scotch was handed to him. "So long as those axes don't fly too close to anyone. Even then, they'll probably turn to styrofoam." He took a sip of his drink, but alarmingly coughed and spluttered. "Oh dear. I've heard that happens sometimes. New tastebuds. Oh, well." He sighed, wondering what he would drink now one of his old favorites no longer tasted good. He turned to Mr. Paulson. "You're the new chap from Wallenburg, aren't you? Recognized your men's uniforms. I've heard your nation's drinks are much less potent. Any recommendations?"

"My name is Erik D.K. Paulson, and I am hardly new to this establishment. I've been serving here for nearly eleven years, ever since the body of Representative Holmer was found without its head."

Erik drinks from his glass, inspecting the flavor. "Hmm. You were looking forward to Scotch? There's a vigorous leather whisky made in Floren. I can't remember it's name though. Neville, would you see if you can find something like that? Leather whisky, Floren."

[The Ironborne Fleet]

Erikkur, having thrown up in the bathroom for roughly 20 minutes, sobered up. realizing he had probably made a fool of himself, approached this new situation with all the tact he had.

"hey, everyone. wanted to apologize for my drunkenness. My brothers been at sea for months and I've been drinking, worried sick. I'm sorry."

[Whovian Tardisia]

"My name is Erik D.K. Paulson, and I am hardly new to this establishment. I've been serving here for nearly eleven years, ever since the body of Representative Holmer was found without its head."
Erik drinks from his glass, inspecting the flavor. "Hmm. You were looking forward to Scotch? There's a vigorous leather whisky made in Floren. I can't remember it's name though. Neville, would you see if you can find something like that? Leather whisky, Floren."

"Really? I could have sworn you only... hang on... Yes, I have seen you before, but it was..." Ambassador Pink, slightly puzzled, pulled a pair of 3D glasses out of his jacket. Putting them on, he looked curiously at Ambassador Paulson. "Ooh. Now that's interesting. Temporal distortion." he mused. "Might be the interference from my constant hopping..." he continued, glancing around before returning his gaze to Paulson. "No, it's definitely you. How peculiar." He concluded, putting the glasses away. "Anything strange happen to you recently, Ambassador?" He queried.

Meanwhile, Sarah was looking curiously at the cactus on the counter, as she had a funny feeling it was looking back. She dismissed this as a side effect of the sheer number of people in the Bar, their gazes all over the room throwing her intuition off.

[Wallenburg]

"Really? I could have sworn you only... hang on... Yes, I have seen you before, but it was..." Ambassador Pink, slightly puzzled, pulled a pair of 3D glasses out of his jacket. Putting them on, he looked curiously at Ambassador Paulson. "Ooh. Now that's interesting. Temporal distortion." he mused. "Might be the interference from my constant hopping..." he continued, glancing around before returning his gaze to Paulson. "No, it's definitely you. How peculiar." He concluded, putting the glasses away. "Anything strange happen to you recently, Ambassador?" He queried.

Paulson raises his eyebrow. "Anything strange? I could not overstate the peculiarity of the last several months if I tried. The Orentian Confederation's use of biological weapons against the continent has sent everything into chaos. My office barely survived the assault, and we have a multiversal portal defending us! I can hardly imagine the extent to which my home republic has fallen. Strange is not sufficient enough a term for it, Ambassador."

Hr takes a long pause to drink, then returns his attention to Pink. "My nation has gone to war, suffered a zombie apocalypse, and surrendered to overwhelming hostile forces all within a couple months. Strange...I don't know if that's the sort of strange you mean, but the affairs of what remains of the Wallenburgian state most certainly are not normal right now."

[Whovian Tardisia]

"Zombies, yes, pesky things. We can deal with them fairly easily, with a bit of... time distortion..." He grabs the Wallenburgian leather whisky that Neville has fetched for him, sipping as he thinks. "Much better. But something still doesn't add up. Eleven years you say you've worked here, yet I've been here for far less than that and only seen you once before." He thought a bit more, before slamming his glass on the bar, loud enough to break Sarah's concentration on the cactus. "Hang on. Did you say multiversal portal?"

[Wallenburg]

"Zombies, yes, pesky things. We can deal with them fairly easily, with a bit of... time distortion..." He grabs the Wallenburgian leather whisky that Neville has fetched for him, sipping as he thinks. "Much better. But something still doesn't add up. Eleven years you say you've worked here, yet I've been here for far less than that and only seen you once before." He thought a bit more, before slamming his glass on the bar, loud enough to break Sarah's concentration on the cactus. "Hang on. Did you say multiversal portal?"

Parsons recoils in his seat as the glass hits the bar. "Well...yes, it's a multiversal portal. That's how we connect the Wallenburgian office to the homeworld. In fact, it's the only way to get back to Wallenburg." The Wallenburgian stares at Pink, frowning. "If you have any plans on using that thing, I'm afraid that it is shut down indefinitely on my direct order. For all I know, the only surviving Wallenburgians are the ones on this side of the portal, and I am not risking them for anything."

[Allied Sapients]

Lirn Jenht Olsh approaches Paulson with all the grace of a stick insect and the subtlety of a defenstration. “Ambassador, I don’t mean to interrupt your conversation,” she says as she blatantly interrupts the conversation. “But I happened to have overheard that your people were the victims of a biological attack. Are such things common on your home world?”

[Herby]

"Herby! Where've you been, I've missed you! Hey, you still owe me a ride you know."

Yeah yeah you’ll get yer ride soon. So ehhhhh congrats, bub, an’ welcome to the WA Elite, nice job passing that resolution. Ritual Sacrifice, puh, that’s some ugly barbaric shit that goes on, ain’t it!