[SILLY] GA Joke Proposals Only

[Bloing]

Repeal: all WA resolutions

recognising that the nations are dookie doo doo poo poo wee wee
noting the existence of timothy, geoff and ijoadlnfhjlks\fj;iljzkzfl;lkmnjhjjfiko;ljm
means that bloingy person is good
and give your pasworrds to me1!!1
Co-authored by Blong, Bloink, Bleing, Blowing, Bwoing, Blorng, Bleang, and iowfujlsaesjlovihlkn,gm. l;dfkj lopdiouyuksiozdfp;oiuygvldi;'0spirgomp0srg'pioouaogo;y yh;

[Bloing]

On the cuddling of duck plushies
THE WORLD ASSEMBLY
For the purposes of this proposal, defines duck plushies as stuffed toys based on species of waterfowl, allowing swan plushies to be OK as well.

The world assembly

1:Due to recent studies by the Bloingese and Esabok research facilities, recognises that duck plushy cuddling improves mental health, which in turn supports one of the pillars of society.

2:Due to even more research, the Bloingese Dept. of research notifies the WA that duck plushies are just plain cute.

3:Hereby obligates all World Assembly nations to supply free duck plushies from the WA stock to the national populace,

4: Also obligates nations to encourage (but NOT force) their residents to cuddle duck plushies due to reasons stated above.

5: Expands the stock of WA duck plushies to around 74 Quadrillion,

6:Tells all of you beautiful people to have a fun day.

[New Imperial Britannia]

The World Assembly:

No

[Dollystana]

Cows Go Moo

The World Assembly,

Noticing that cows go moo,

Recognizing that some nations do not recognize “moo” as what cows say in their national language,

Defining:

Moo as what cows say,

Cows as not being sheep,

Aardvarks as being terrorists,

Declares “moo” to be the universal standard for what cows say in all languages.

[La Xinga]

Destruction of houses

Category: Advancement of Industry, AREA OF EFFECT: Commercial Enterprise; Proposed by: Max Barry's tired neighbor.

The General Assembly,

RECOGNIZING the hard work put into building houses across nations.

Noticing, however, that innocent flies get trapped in these buildings.

Believing that humans are not meant to be cooped up.

DEFINING "house" as a thing;

MANDATES THE FOLLOWING:
1. People must knock down their house and live outside.
2. The government must pay people to tear down their houses
3. JAIL people who don't do this.

FORCES UPON THE CRYING NATIONS that the material from the houses go to Candlewhisper Archive.

HEREBY makes this a law.

Co-authored by everyone

[New Imperial Britannia]

The World Assembly:

Noting Yes

No

Absolutely not

[Ardiveds]

Regulating the Skydiving of Women on Sundays

The General Assembly,

BELIEVING the sky to be God's domain

AFFIRMING the right of women to skydive on all days except sundays

CONFIRMING sunday to be the lord's day

Hereby,

Mandates no women shall skydive on sundays.

[Drasnia]

This started on the Got Issues discord and is essentially one big in-joke.

The Fruit Basket Accord

Category: Furtherment of Delectation | Strength: Extra-Delicious

The Distinguished World Assembly,

Understanding the importance of heated debate for weighty legislation;

However saddened that said debate can inadvertently make some newer and less-experienced ambassadors cold to the idea of participating;

Believing that an atmosphere of inclusiveness can only strengthen and fortify this august body;

Lauding previous efforts at making the World Assembly a more nutritious place, namely in the preparation of chilled orange drinks;

Believing additional victuals would further nourish healthy discussion;

Hereby enacts the following:

1. Defines for the purposes of this resolution:
   
   1. A fruit basket as a container that can be carried and which contains a varied assortment of fruits or other succulent plant-based foodstuffs;
   2. Recipient as any ambassador that receives a fruit basket;
   3. First-time author as any ambassador who has drafted and put up for critique and review the first proposal in their career as ambassador;
2. Establishes the Committee for the Handling of Extra-Tasty Work (CHEW) and tasks CHEW to:
   
   1. Procure the materials used in the making of a fruit basket;
   2. Prepare fruit baskets using containers and foodstuffs suitable for each first-time author;
   3. Provide the personalized fruit basket for public presentation;
3. Mandates that all first-time authors receive a complimentary fruit basket to be presented publicly by any available ambassador using the fruit basket provided by CHEW. If a recipient is not a first-time author, said author is free and clear of any duty or responsibility to return or refund CHEW for the cost of the fruit basket;
   
   
4. Requires that, in any case wherein a first-time author is unable to accept or no equivalent items can replace a fruit basket, CHEW shall compensate the first-time author with currency equal to the approximate value of a fruit basket.

[Dollystana]

No Shirt No Shoes No Service

Noticing that no shirt no shoes no service,

Recognizing that no shirt no shoes no service,

Hereby declares that no shirt no shoes no service.

[Servilis]

This Absolute State of this General Assembly,

APPLAUDING the efforts of the GA to try and sort its shit out,

CONCERNED that the General Assembly just refuses to end it's nonsense,

ANGERED that the GA is simply back on their bullshit,

DISTURBED by the lack of efforts by the GA to get it's shit together,

PERPLEXED by the very notion that the GA will not pull it's fucking socks up,

DISGUSTED by the amount of WA members who are just causing a ruckus,

OFFENDED by the acts of the GA which include but are not limited to tomfoolery, japing and generally taking the piss,

HEREBY legislates the following :

DEFINING "Mayhem" as overall causing complete fucking chaos,

REQUIRING that all member states take action to reduce Mayhem to avoid becoming a complete fucking circus,

ENFORCING the rule that all member states stop fucking around and do something for once,

REMINDING you all that this is a place to pass laws, not fuck around, I swear to Violet you people really piss me off,

HEREBY passes "A Lecture On The Fucking Circus That The General Assembly Has Come To"

[Servilis]

An Accord On Greg

This Frustrated General Assembly,

NOTING how much of a fucking nuisance Greg has become,

AWARE that he is trying to keep this place orderly and quiet and shit,

PISSED OFF that whenever someone goes as far as open their fucking mouth, Greg just has the FUCKING audacity to tell them to shut up,

ANNOYED that Greg has to state "Nobody cares" when someone he dislikes is talking,

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DISGUSTED by how fucking frustrating it is whenever Greg does this shit,

Hereby defines :

1. "Greg" as that asshole who sits in the corner of the room with his nose in his books and just shits on everybody when they do anything even remotely awkward,

Hereby legislates that :

2.a) Greg keep his fucking mouth shut for once, after all, practice what you preach, for Violets sake,
2.b) Greg stop fucking shitting all over everybody, after all, he wasn't even assigned the job of maintaining the rules of this place,
2.c) Greg be given the fucking bird whenever he does this shit,
2.d) Greg be sent out the fucking door if he does it 3 times,

Hereby passes "An Accord On Greg".

Sidenote : Fuck you, Greg.

[Tinhampton]

OUT OF CHARACTER: This was written in mid-January this year, with the intention of submitting this as a serious proposal three months later, at least in part as an experiment in seeing if you could get "literally anything" to quorum with stamps... apparently not this summer, I've tried twice and failed twice. It was written (I vaguely recall) in response to the copious Climate Emergency declarations by cities and even entire countries around the real world - or, at least, they were copious back in 2019, when climate change was the issue.

Celeste Barber's bushfire relief appeal had attracted tens of millions in donations with a fundraising concert to follow within months (postponed, if not cancelled), the BBC had lined up a year of climate change coverage (effectively abandoned) in the runup to COP26 in Glasgow (postponed to 2021), Greta Thunberg had just become Time's Person of the Year 2019 for inspiring climate strikes everywhere (since displaced by Black Lives Matter, Hong Kong, and lockdown protestors), "net-zero carbon emissions" was the buzzword of the day (not for now) and plastic straws had effectively become extinct in the United Kingdom (they still are).

I was pretty confident that climate change would be a sufficiently big issue throughout the rest of 2020 that a proposal such as the below would prove popular with voters, no matter how poorly written (this proposal was ICly written by Ashley Venkman, the school-aged daughter of Alexander Smith's aide Bianca)... of course, I had no way of anticipating that coronavirus would go from a few hundred cases and a couple of deaths to become the single biggest news story, never mind public health crisis, since Hiroshima. I am now publishing it for the second time here - the first time was on the WA Discord a few weeks ago - due to my realisation that this proposal's chances of passing have gone from "yeah, probably worth a shot" to virtually zero.

CLIMATE EMERGENCY!
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.

Category: Environmental

Industry Affected: All Businesses - Strong

Proposed by: Tinhampton

---

CLIMATE ACTION NOW!

The following articles are submitted to be truthful:

1. There is a climate emergency.
2. Average temperatures, across the World Assembly's member states, are rising rapidly. If they continue to go out of control, many species will die, the sea level will rise because of glacier ice melting, and chocolate will become a rare treat that costs fifty times as much as it does today. In addition, there will be many more and worse droughts and floods, famines, and natural disasters.
3. Many people are flushing trillions of cotton buds, bags, and other items made out of single-use plastics down the toilet. These items are broken down into many small pieces. These small pieces are eaten by sea creatures such as tuna fish and whales, and then they die because they eat these small pieces.
4. Some people have lost their houses to flooding recently. Many people have lost their houses after forests near their houses have burned, and so their houses also burned down. This can be blamed on climate change.
5. Climate change is a women's rights issue, because there are scientific studies showing that it leads to an increase in Violence Against Women and Child Marriage. Many women in low wage states live by the seaside and the businesses they have to run in order to earn enough money to take care of their family could be in danger if they sink underwaters.
6. Climate Change is a children's rights issue because it interferes with their right to enjoy themselves. Many pupils receiving an education at school are refusing to attend their school on some days in protest at the inaction of national leaders on climate change. Some of them have recently lost their houses to flooding caused by climate change. Some headteachers support them.
7. The World Assembly has principles: neutrality on some matters, action when needed, a backbone of positive change, a sense of humour. These must be mixed together if we are to create a successful and popular solution to the current CLIMATE EMERGENCY.

The World Assembly believes that the above is not acceptable and it will never be acceptable. More than that, the WA is convinced that action should be taken right now to ensure climate justice for all people.

Because of what has been written above, the General Assembly hereby:

1. Declares that the World Assembly, and all of its member states, are in a state of CLIMATE AND ECOLOGICAL EMERGENCY!
2. Requires all of its member states to:
   
   1. Set a target date for all of their electricity needs to be met with renewable energy sources such as solar power, wind power, hydrological power/dams, and others. This target date shall be no more than thirty years after the declaration of this CLIMATE EMERGENCY.
   2. Achieve net zero carbon emissions within ten years after the declaration of this CLIMATE EMERGENCY, unless Carbon Dioxide is absolutely needed for the continued life of the majority sapient species in that member state. This means a reduction in emissions of Carbon Dioxide by enough so that they only emit as much CO2 as they consume.
   3. Immediately begin to impose charges for the handing out of plastic bags in places of business.
   4. Ban the sale, public display, and manufacture of plastic straws, cotton buds with plastic stems, plastic drinks stirrers, and plastic bags (together known as "disposable plastics") within two years of the declaration of this CLIMATE EMERGENCY.
   5. Ban the handing out of disposable plastics, except for plastic straws handed out by health services to disabled people that are truly in need, within two years.
3. Furthermore, it requires the immediate phasing out of disposable plastics in all property controlled by the World Assembly.
4. Strongly suggests, but does not require, that member states and people within them make a donation to any relief funds for forest fires and bushfires.
5. This state of CLIMATE EMERGENCY may be brought to an end at any point after it is declared, by the repeal of this resolution.

[Melicorium]

International Promotion of Roblox

Category: Advancement of Industry / Area of Effect: Commercial Enterprise / Proposed by: h0y_vux

The World Assembly,

Recognizing the extreme fun found in the online game platform Roblox,

Astounded that over 164 million users are active on the platform each month,

Amazed at its sheer popularity, especially with children,

Hereby:

1. Compels member nations with internet access to allow Roblox on their territory,

2. Prohibits member nations to ban Roblox once allowed,

3. Makes Roblox merchandise able to be sold or distributed in said nations,

4. Establishes an official group in said nations for all players in that nation to come together,

5. Compels Roblox to compel its game developters to be internationally inclusive by having language preferences in their games.

[Umeria]

Repeal resolutions 501, 502, 503, 504, 505, and 506

The World Assembly,

Recognzing that 500 is a nice round number,

Noting that 500 resolutions is probably enough,

Hereby

1. Repeals resolutions 501, 502, 503, 504, 505, and 506;
   
   
2. Prohibits the passage of any further resolutions; and
   
   
3. Clarifies that this repeal does not count as a resolution.

[Grishahakkaverchynot]

Repeal All Resolutions ;
Yes

[Araraukar]

The General Assembly,

Understanding that pandemics are bad,

Fed up with pandemic restrictions, such as social distancing,

Hoping for a return to pre-2019 living conditions,

Hereby,

1. Bans the spreading of the corona virus that causes COVID-19 pandemic, and

2. Clarifies that this ban refers to the virus itself, not the sapient carriers.

[The Sakhalinsk Empire]

The Security Council,

SEEING that The Sakhalinsk Empire has done absolutely nothing to help his region, the South Pacific;

Hereby condemns The Sakhalinsk Empire.

Co-authored by The Sakhalinsk Empire

[Groot]

Wrong forum. Take the portal from the Strangers' Bar to the Three Walled Bar and you'll find the Security Council.

[Nooooooooooooooo]

Banning Big Barlyy By Bragging 'Bout Burping

The General Assembly,

Betrayed by Barlyy,

Bismayed at the fact that Barlyy is a mafia crimethink,

Bounded by amogus,

Hereby Bans Big Barlyy by the following

1. Bragging

2. Baseball

3. Erdogan

[Jedinsto]

Thank you, Sep for this wonderful suggestion.

The World Assembly,

Recognizing that children are annoying as hell,

Pissed off that babies shit themselves constantly,

Noting that birth is the #1 cause of death,

Hereby;

1. Defines "youth" for the purposes of this resolution as a sapient being below the age of 18 years old,
2. Requires that all youths are brutally murdered and their body is dumped in a lake, never to be recovered,
3. Requires that all sapient beings above the age of 18 years old are sterilized.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Recognizing that children are annoying as hell,

Pissed off that babies shit themselves constantly,

...

Requires that all youths are brutally murdered and their body is dumped in a lake, never to be recovered,

Boy, that escalated quickly.

[Scalizagasti]

Thank you, Sep for this wonderful suggestion.

The World Assembly,

Recognizing that children are annoying as hell,

Pissed off that babies shit themselves constantly,

Noting that birth is the #1 cause of death,

Hereby;

1. Defines "youth" for the purposes of this resolution as a sapient being below the age of 18 years old,
2. Requires that all youths are brutally murdered and their body is dumped in a lake, never to be recovered,
3. Requires that all sapient beings above the age of 18 years old are sterilized.

Awesome!

[Outer Sparta]

The World Assembly

Noting that school shootings are a problem countries deal with,

Desiring a concrete solution to solve this problem,

Hereby,
1. Bans schools to solve the problem

[Minskiev]

Noting, hereby.

[Molopovia]

Subsidization of the Air Conditioning Industry

Category: Industry
Area of Effect: All businesses, strong

The World Assembly,

Noting the lack of air conditioning around the world,

Recognizing that cold air helps alleviate global warming,

Disgusted that this great invention is not sufficiently wide-spread,

Further noting that heat is a bitch,

Hereby enacts:

1. All households and properties in member-states of the WA have at least one air conditioning system installed.

2. A penalty of 50,000 in local national currency be enacted for violations of this resolution,

3. That all air conditioning system factories shall be subsidized by the WA through taxing all member states 25%
for the sole purpose of fueling the industry.

4. Males of member nations above the age of 21 shall serve at least 1 year in the air conditioning industry or face
limb mutilation.

So let it be written
So let it be done