World Cup 53 RP Thread

by **Pasarga** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:26 pm

by **Krytenia** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:27 pm

THE BALLAD OF EMPEROR BOSTON
By the Cyan Army featuring the World Cup 53 Squad

(TEAM) What did we do wrong?
(FANS) Oh you nearly drove us cuckoo
(TEAM) Are we really all that bad?
(FANS) You're worse than Lady Viannor, Mujeongbo, or Valanora
(TEAM) Why'd you still support us?
(FANS) Oh we can't stop until you're out
(TEAM) You mean your hearts on your sleeves
(FANS) I mean like suicide defending or on penners to Sarz
(TEAM) It was lucky for us that our opponents were crap
(FANS) They say that Bostopia just can't defend
(TEAM) There was something from Fort Boston that stopped us seeing red
(FANS) Our chances would surely have been killed stone dead

(ALL) You stopped us from hating each other
(Bos-ton, Bos-ton)
(ALL) You'll never know but you've made our lives
(Bos-ton, Bos-ton)
(TEAM) But we've never thrown our jockstraps at you
(FANS) And we don't own a tank

(TEAM) Still haven't solved our problems
(FANS) You mean you haven't got the guts
(TEAM) Still wanna throw it away
(FANS) And we still think that you've all gone nuts
(TEAM) We follow that man Olic
(FANS) And make us wanna break his neck
(TEAM) We're sick of all this booing
(FANS) Well that will be the Vegans making you sick
(TEAM) Three-one down and at the edge of the cliff
(FANS) As we went to walk out they played Kennedy on
(TEAM) He made up his mind and then slammed one home
(FANS) It was lucky for us that their keeper is s**t!

(ALL) You stopped us from hating each other
(Bos-ton, Bos-ton)
(ALL) You'll never know but you made our lives
(Bos-ton, Bos-ton)
(TEAM) But we've never thrown our jockstraps at you
(FANS) And we don't own a tank

(TEAM) And now our trouble's over
(FANS) We've lost the urge to all defect
(TEAM) We owe a lot to Kevin Ireland
(FANS) Warren stopped us hating you and wishing you dead
(TEAM) Oh we used to call you "fickle"
(FANS) And you were "Mercians in Disguise"
(TEAM) And now you call us all the Aces
(FANS) And we will do forevermore
(TEAM) And we will win it for you all
(FANS) But just a word of warning now
(TEAM) Just in case we go out in Round Two
(FANS) We like the Empire, Cafundéu too
(TEAM) And we might all defect to (heh) you-know-who...

(ALL) You stopped us from hating each other
(Bos-ton, Bos-ton)
(ALL) You'll never know but you made our lives
(Bos-ton, Bos-ton)
(TEAM) But we've never thrown our jockstraps at you
(FANS) And we don't own a tank

OOC note: Inspiration yonder.

by **Somewhereistonia** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 4:31 pm

MD2 Results from Pasarga

by **Jeruselem** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:38 pm

Jeruselem Government News

Girl Elves beat Jeruselem after send-off

The Elves from Dorian and Sonya defeated Jeruselem 2-1 in an upset today. The good news is Jeru FC beat the hosts 3-1 to move forward towards making the 2nd round.

For some reason, Jeruselem keeper Lucy Sallad was sent off in the first 5 minutes for no apparent reason. Having picked a yellow in the first game for dissent, the second yellow took effect and according the records she picked up two yellows during the game. It was apparently for time wasting twice, altough most on the first were mystified about this time wasting business.

Jeruselem were forced to put on the reserve keeper who was suffering from a recent viral infection and wasn't feeling great in recovery. Kate Kool had to be taken off and this ruined the Jeruselem gameplan. Jeruselem spent a lot of time defending and the Dorian and Sonya eventually broke through with a goal in the 30th minute. They scored again in the 67th and Jeruselem looked doomed despite a valiant effort. The reserve keeper had to be removed from the field complaining about being unable to play on, and weirdly Princess Helena ran on as the new keeper figuring they were losing anyway.

Jeruselem pushed hard in the last minutes attempting score that last two goals. Effort was rewarded by a penalty kick and the keeper Helena took the kick to make it 2-1. Due to lack of manpower/womanpower and time, Jeruselem pressed hard with the Princess working hard in the goal and doing a good job for someone with bad knee. In the end, Dorian and Sonya held out scoring famous victory over a handicapped Jeruselem.

Jeruselem face the ex-World Champs - the Dagans next who beat Sarzonia 2-1. Jeruselem hope to beat the Dagans and hope the Dorian and Sonya upset Sarzonia as well. Princess Helena lodged a 10 page protest over Lucy Sallad's red card and hope they can get her back for the last game. Or else the poor old Princess will be playing in goal next game, which we are told she hates. Oddly, she played as reserve keeper in her school days so she isn't the world's worst keeper at all.

Naked News Jeruselem's Samantha Sallad (Lucy Sallad's cousin) is also a decent keeper but she's allergic to grass so she is incapable to taking the field in an ordinary football game. The Princess was rather sore and grumpy after the game, we cannot broadcast her comments about the referee which included bad language and personal threats.

by **Aguazul** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 8:45 pm

La Verdad

Forward did kick ball into net

The national football team lost their second match of the World Cup 53 group stage to The Archregimancy on a single goal, with Fr. Innocent of Ariddia scoring eleven minutes into the second half. Despite the controversial nature of the goal, hours after the match, Aguazul seemed resigned to their fate.

"I mean, the guy kicked it into the goal," sighed Pelayo Sortani, shaking his head. "Yeah, I was arguing, but I guess we really don't have a case."

The first half was a very tepid one, with The Archregimancy's defense often looking vulnerable but Aguazul never able to muster a consistent attack. Though Vincente Aspe received an elegant through ball from Gerardo Riquelme early on, he was unable to concentrate after Fr. Simeon the New Theologian began lecturing him on how, despite the fact that The Archregimancy sort of comes from a more spiritual place than we do, they're actually just the same kind of people. Aspe stumbled into Fr. Serapion the Immobile, receiving a yellow card to end the attack.

Perhaps emboldened by the fact that the game was still scoreless at halftime, The Archregimancy set a faster pace heading into the second half. For a while, our midfield was up to the challenge, but then Fr. Onesiphorus the Lame dribbled past Sergio Bustamante. While this could have been embarrassing in itself, it was nothing next to what would follow.

Fr. Onesiphorus then attempted to pass to Fr. Luke the Third Holy Igumen. Rather than simply kick the ball forward to Fr. Innocent, however, Fr. Luke batted the ball forward with his cane to a waiting Fr. Luke, who shook off Chago Villalobos before scoring.

"He thwaps it into the net with his cane, no question, I'm gonna be out there raising more of a fuss," claimed Sortani. "But...I mean...the other guy did have to kick it in. Even I have to admit that takes skill and, to be honest, they did sort of deserve the goal after how he got around Villalobos." Villalobos, on the other hand, regarded Fr. Luke's assist as sufficiently dubious to inspire several choice descriptions of the referee's parentage, earning a caution and some stern glares from Fr. Cyriacus the Stern as play restarted. Aguazul did not threaten for the remainder of the game, while The Archregimancy seemed uncertain whether they wanted to try for a second goal (this was not helped by Fr. Sozon the Simple's constant blinking at the scoreboard).

Aguazul fall to third in the group, behind Somewhereistonia on goal differential that Sortani admits will be "tough to make up". But it looks like it's not the Eagles we need to worry about on that front. If our calculations are correct...

A win over reeling Bears Armed will give us six points and let us advance (only one of The Archregimancy and Somewhereistonia can reach six). A loss would eliminate us regardless of the score, while a draw is the tricky scenario. Should we draw, and The Archregimancy win, we'll advance in second place. Should we draw, and the other game also end in a tie, nobody's goal differential will change anyway, and we'll be stuck in third. Should we draw, and Somewhereistonia win by multiple goals, we'll edge out the Archregimancy on goal differential. But should we draw and Somewhereistonia win by a single goal (and given the Archregimancy's expectations for this tournament, that's a very real potential), we'll fall to third on this result.

Although, we lost count of the score in the other Group E match, so don't trust our calculations.

Sortani announced that Sesmiro Marroquín and Gunsedal Cisneros would return to the starting lineup to close out the group stage, but that Fidel Baraona would start for Villalobos. "I mean, in other circumstances, yeah, I'd be sticking up for Chago because it would have been a total gyp.

But...what can I say, they did kick it in."

by **Jeru FC** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:18 pm

Naked News Jeruselem's Sally Dumas with Jeru FC Mango Mousse

Sally: This is Sally Dumas for Naked News Jeruselem, I'm with Jeru FC's Mango Mousse. Today our Jeru FC beat the hosts Pasarga 3-1. Unfortunately Jeruselem lost to the other elves 2-1 after losing their keeper early. So Mango, a great day for your team.
Mango: Well, no System Karela to slow us down.
Sally: Considering 99.9% of the crowd were on their side, and the few Jeruselemites on yours ... was the crowd support an issue?
Mango: No, we get so little crowd support we don't bother about it.
Sally: Pretty good today apart from that bumbling keeper.
Mango: The less time our keeper has the ball, the better.
Sally: ATTACK ATTACK from the boys today.
Mango: Yes, so our keeper doesn't get the chance to drop the ball into the path of the opposition.
Sally: Defending isn't your best attribute.
Mango: Yes, we don't do it that well. Better of kicking goals, or pretending too.
Sally: So all you need a draw or win to progress?
Mango: I think so, a loss is something else but that's another issue.
Sally: You do play West Zirconia last, who could beat us and replace us.
Mango: True, but we don't think about things like that.
Sally: Now, did you see Lucy Sallad being sent off?
Mango: Yeah, well ... time wasting. I didn't see any time wasting.
Sally: You lot are experts at that.
Mango: Yes we are. She wasn't time wasting, our keeper wastes his time for most of the game so ... well, she wasn't. We know, our keeper does it all the time.
Sally: He does it on purpose?
Mango: No, he's a waste of time on the field.
Sally: Now, what you think of Princess Helena as a keeper?
Mango: Wow, I was impressed. You wouldn't know she had a problematic knee. She can come play for us!
Sally: Not looking good for our team, you jeru FC boys should be OK.
Mango: We all live in hope, for a better day ... drinking.
Sally: What did the boys think of the send off?
Mango: They were angry? They know what time wasting is, because we do it naturally.
Sally: Maybe it's an anti-Jewish thing? Lucy is a Jew.
Mango: Could be, she didn't deserve that. I reckon the Princess should be the keeper for next game.
Sally: She actually hates being the keeper.
Mango: God, come play for us. We make keeping fun!
Sally: Thanks for your time Mango.
Mango: No problems Silly.
Sally: Sally
Mango: Silly Sally
Sally: Nevermind

by **Cafundeu** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:30 am

FOLHA DA CAPITAL
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição de Segunda - Ano 238 - Caderno III - Preço: V$3,90

VEIGA ARRIVES AS A WINNER

The first game of the Monopolists in the World Cup 54 under the command of coach Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga couldn't be better. Needing the victory to keep the team's hopes of qualifying for the next stage of the competition, the Cafundelenses had to overcome the shock of the loss against Tretskivucia and all the backstage problems that were generated from that: the change of coach and the extremely high amount of critics from the media, including this newspaper. But it seems that, instead of losing motivation, the players faced the pressure well and decided to prove their talent against Valladares. In an impressive performance, Cafundéu could dominate a match that was predicted to be very difficult, and hardly gave chances for the opponents to score. With three goals still in the first half, the Monopolists conquered an important victory and now can qualify even with a loss against Daehanjeiguk, in case Valladares beat Tretskivucia in the last match. But, of course, after such a great match the Monopolists are confident in defeating the Han, and take the lead of Group H, wishing to avoid a more difficult enemy in the Oitavas.

Before the match against Valladares, things didn't seem good: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga arrived at Somewhereistonia only five hours before the match, and didn't even have time to participate in a training session. Luckily he had already worked with several of the National Team players during the AOCAF, and could adapt his strategies to the players available. Even better, due to the fact that he didn't have time to test the players, Veiga announced that he would avoid to make his eccentric actions, such as the insane substitutions that often happen when he leads a football club. When the match begun, the Cafundelenses seemed to abandon technique and tactical organization during the first minutes: they played like crazy, rushing to take the ball at all costs, pressing the defenders of Valladares. And, before the twentieth minute, this strategy worked well: Romergleydson tackled Calheira close to the entrance of the area, invaded it then passed the ball to Gutiérrez, who had no problems to send the ball to the goal. He commemorated by kicking an advertisement banner close to the field, breaking it. This will surely make him lose some fans in Cafundéu, as he ought to respect the companies, and kicking an ad is very offensive. More than this, we expect that the authorities force him to pay for the broken banner, so he can learn from this mistake.

The match continued with Cafundéu playing better, surprising the opponents with their commitment. Valladares needed the win too, but perhaps they weren't expecting this attitude from the Cafundelenses, and found difficulties to react. Flórez even had a nice chance receiving the ball inside the area, but he sent it wide. And, on the next play, Cafundéu would score the second goal. This time, it was Nico Lewton who crossed the ball, and Marco Aurélio hit it with a volley to increase the Monopolist lead. The third goal was scored by Gutiérrez from a penalty kick. In the second half, Valladares didn't seem to have much hope in performing a heroic reaction, and Cafundéu only had to control the pace of the game, finding space for a fourth goal, scored by Marco Aurélio. With the final whistle, some players laid on the pitch, relieved with the victory, wanting to forget the horrible experience of the first matchday of this World Cup. When asked about the performance of the new coach Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga, former coach and current President of the CCFM The Scout said: "We knew that he would do a good job for us, and we were in need of a new coach in order to repair the problems of this squad that weren't fixed by the former coach, as we noticed." But then he once again showed signs of double personality, by continuing his declaration with the following: "But, I think that the last match was just an exception, and that the team kept the same style. The coach change will only be noticed, if noticed, in the next games."

CAFUNDÉU 4x0 VALLADARES

Place: Värske Kuressaare Staadion, Somewhereistonia
Referee: Jean Dornel (Kelssek)
POTM: Marco Aurélio (Cafundéu)

CAFUNDÉU: Cleston; Paraíba, Nelsinho, Rodríguez and Maurício (Esquerdinha 73'); Lewton, Bino, Marco Aurélio and Godô (Edu Miranda 64'); Gutiérrez and Romergleydson (Rosário 80').
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

VALLADARES: Fuentes; Calheira, Correa (Taylor 70'), Perrin and Romero; Rivas, Dickens and Oliveira (Peterson 58'); Ruiz, Flórez (Gignac 45') and Ospina.
Coach: José Marín.

Goals:CAF: Gutiérrez 16'/41' , Marco Aurélio 22'/68'.

Yellow Cards: Nelsinho (CAF); Calheira, Rivas and Dickens (VLD).

by **Daehanjeiguk** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 5:34 pm

*** DINOSAURS 'N' AWESOME ***

Wang had some big news. "Supervisor! I've just discovered something very terrible!"

Now, let's just recap very quickly what has happened in the meantime. You will recall that a bunch of ankylosaurs had landed in Septentrionian enclave village in Bostopia while on their way to Aguazul on a Sorthern boat. Since some tourist from the Macabees signed something that released the beasts upon the land, the dinosaurs have encamped in the village, while some crazy Euro-dance party has been wildly going on. Some Bostopian police officer has entered the village surreptitiously to gain intelligence, noting with some degree of nonchalance the sort of atmosphere in the village. All of the while, the dinosaurs have seemingly stopped doing anything, just loitering around stomping their feet as if it's some sort of ritual. Now, the dinosaurs had come from the Dinosaurs 'N' Awesome facilities on some island near the Nethertopian coast, and as it stands, the fact that their shipment arrived at the wrong country has sent some degree of apathy tearing through the ranks (which at the moment includes the Supervisor, Wang, and Hwang... oh, and some janitors and some tasty morsels). Calls to Aguazul have been neither received nor returned (presumably, General Lopez forgot he ordered the Dino-tanks... either that or someone else forgot for him...), and that has left D'N'A with a little dilemma.

"Why should we care?" the Supervisor replied. "We've been paid already, and the dinosaurs are delivered. Thank goodness, because that was our longest standing order. You know what standing orders do to our bottom line? Bad things."

Wang nodded. "Yes, but I've just discovered something very terrible."

"You just said that."

"I know I did." Wang cleared his throat. "It appears that someone encoded a special genetic safelock into the dinosaurs that were just delivered."

"Oh, really?" That sort of piqued the Supervisor's interest. "What safelocks?"

"Well, it appears that the genetic code of these dinosaurs was slightly altered to make them unable to synthesize lysine. As a result, the dinosaurs need to be fed a supplemental diet of lysine tablets."

"Who would put something like that in there?" the Supervisor asked.

"Well, I think it was more because we wanted to make more money selling the lysine tablets to people for proper maintenance of their dinosaurs. And in fact, no vertebrates can biosynthesize lysine anyway, so it's not like we intentionally put that safelock in there. And really, that's not the problem."

"Oh, well, then what's the problem?"

Wang stuttered as he spoke. "It appears that when the dinosaurs become critically lysine deficient, incorporating roughly 1.093% of the animal's gross biomass, they undergo a survivalist metamorphosis."

"'Survivalist metamorphosis'? What the %$#^ does that mean?"

"Well, when the animal is lysine deficient, in order to survive, it needs to eat meat. But ankylosaurs are herbivores, so they must change into something that actually eats meat. Now, by my calculations, the ankylosaurs were last fed their lysine supplement tablets"

"Oh really? Okay... what does it do?"

Wang paused as he anticipated something terrible was just now happening.

*** OLISFELD, BOSTOPIA ***

At that, one of the local residents pointed at the dino-tanks. Groat, still doing his fanciful intelligence-gathering behind the lines wearing his increasingly uncomfortable garb, turned and glanced at the dinosaurs. Something terrible was happening. "Oh, pants," Groat said, watching as the Frenchies around him gather around the increasingly odd-formed dinosaurs. They were enduring a great transfiguration, and it seemed obvious that something was not well. They were growing smaller. Smaller. Smaller still.

"I don't think they're supposed to do that," Groat muttered to himself as he watching the armor-plating melted away and that club-like tail slooped back into the body. As this transformation continued, it was still unapparent what it was becoming, but the emerging creature was now more amenable to human sizes, just slightly smaller. And unlike the large lumbering dino-tanks, these creatures were bipedal, with small limber forelimbs. Oh, as this creature started to emerge, Groat immediately recognized it from his monthly subscription to the Emperor's Own Regiment Worst-Case Scenario Guide. Unfortunately, there was only one thing he remembered what to do in just this instance...

"JIMMY DO ONE BRUV!"

Meanwhile, the police officers and EOR tanks sitting outside the quaint little village heard the shriek and cry. The Sargent pulled out his binoculars and glanced down at the village. "Crap, his battery has just run out. I told the bugger to get the hell out of dodge before the batteries died out. Seems the chap can't handle the music..."

Another officer glanced with a periscope. "Actually, I think it's something else."

"Whadayamean?"

"It looks like those dinotanks are... doing something."

From the distance, they could hear Groat crying out "JIMMY DO ONE BRUV". "What the hell is he clamoring about?"

In a moment, Groat managed his way back to the base, panting heavily after the long run. He'd probably managed the best escape possible in the history of "Jimmy Do One, Bruv" escapes (beyond what Emperor Boston regularly achieves), perhaps ten-ninety-three times better than the Bostopian escape from World Cup 53. And as he regained his breath, he could explain why he was escaping.

"It's... it's... it's..."

"Confound it, Groat!" Sargent yelled. "Speak out, you brummie fennywich (I suppose that's slang for something somewhere...)!"

"It's..."

*** DINOSAURS 'N' AWESOME ***

"Punk-rock cheese-eating velociraptors?" The Supervisor was flabberghasted. "Who the %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ in their %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ right mind would do some %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ thing like that?"

Instantly, Hwang rolled in on a rolling chair across the office. "WEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee...!"

The Supervisor facepalmed himself and heaved a deep sigh. "Need I ask?"

by **Tarrentum** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:05 am

Daestegwen looked out on her players as they trudged back into the locker rooms from the pitch. 5-0. It was a humiliation, yet there were a few applauding fans from both Tarrentum and, surprisingly, from Nethertopia. Dlartanina smiled to herself a wry smile. Applause for mediocrity? But she shook that idea out of her head. They were one of 32 nations in the entire world to move on in the World Cup. They had exceed all analysts projections and became the spoiler. Unfortunately, they weren't able to spoil their Ro32 Group. Then, they had the spectre of Burindi above them during these final days.

She would have a talk with the Tarrentum Sports Committee. A long one. Shape up or I'm out. Well, maybe not quite so blunt. Just a little blunt maybe.

It didn't look like she would be returning to her beloved homeland for a while. She knew that on her last trip to Dorian and Sonya, to her beloved home in the forest. She had the money now, after settling everything back home, that she would be able to build a little piece of D&S in Tarrentum. She had practice and training with her team to look towards after their last two matches here at the World Cup. Then, she had her Sylvanae in Tarrentum campaign to look after. So much to do, good thing she had learnt the patience to deal with such tasks when she was a much younger elf. Good thing that she had a coaching staff that could look after the little things.

She sighed, she still had two matches to perpare for. And her team would be prepared.

by **Dorian and Sonya** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:43 am

Unicorns Top Jeruselem. Sarzonia Awaits

Queen Sonya Sabre sat alone at the window to her private study that overlooked the bay and most of WhiteHall as well. The Mystical Unicorns had provided the World Cup with a shock result by defeating the Primcesses of Jeruselem. The Queen frowned for a moment. It was a shame that all the Pink Pride nations would not be moving on. And in the crazy and insane Group G, it was still anyone’s guess as to who would do just that.

The top two spots were currently held by Cassadaigua and the Unicorns with four points on the table. But Sarzonia and Jeruselem each had a point as well and that kept things in a state of uncertainty. Should The Unicorns lose to the Stars and the Dagans fall to Jeruselem, the entire group would find itself even at 4 points and it was anyone’s guess as to who would indeed move on.

The scenario for the Mystical Unicorns was easy enough to figure out. Win or Draw against the Stars and the ticket was easily punched. Lose and the chances dropped to slightly above nothing. A win or a draw against Sarzonia. Perhaps the Unicorns still had some magic left That was a tall order indeed.

So just how should the Unicorns go about handling their match with the Stars? Business as usual. The smooth ebb and flow of the Sylvanae style was beautiful to watch. Precision passing coupled with non-stop movement in a myriad of patterns designed to keep their opponents guessing. But the Stars were known for their own style as well - crush anything en rout to the goal, though their 3-5-2 alignment easily shifted to bone-jarring defense when the situation demanded.

That was the answer. This match would be decided by ball control and who managed to win the time of possession battle. If the Unicorns could keep consistent pressure on the back line of the Stars, they could control the match. If it ended up being Sarzonia who controlled the midfield and the ball… well let’s just say that would be really unpleasant.

The Queen looked up from her thoughts. Now where was Khyber and that pushcart report?

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:32 am

Kryties Await. Can We Make It 3 In A Row?

The Sea Dragons spent numerous hours in film study looking for any weakness that could be exploited in the Bostopian side. None could be found. In fact, it had been hard to find film of the squad in action. For some reason, they just didn’t exist. The only thing that could be said for certain is that the Bostopian’s would attack nonstop and lay the pressure right at the feet of the ASMV defenders - exactly the type of match we want.

And things went very much according to plan as the defensive style of the Sea Dragons coupled with the one outstanding goal from Rainu in the 65th minute won the day and moved the squad into second place on the Group D table by goal differential with none other than Krytenia.

We faced the Kryties twice during the qualifiers to get here and both times we bested the number 14 nation in the world. They advanced on goal differentia. Talk about Margaret having a twisted sense of humor.

Now it comes down to one more match with the Kryties to see who moves on. A win or draw will see us into the next round while a loss at this point would be a crushing defeat to us and our hopes.

Now we must simply take the pitch and play our style. If we do that then we can see ourselves into the knockout rounds. But Krytenia will be looking to avenge the two previous losses and send us home. It should be one hwll of a match.

by **Bears Armed** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:48 am

insisted that the pitch was “covered with pretty-pretty flowers, that are looking up at us with faces full of pointy-pointy-POINTY TEETH, and want to drag us all down and devourrr us!”. However the [Pasargan] referee still insisted on the game being played to full time, even though most of the Belles who hadn’t yet been called out of play were barely able to stand up on all four paws — let alone just on their hind pair — by the end of the first half. ‘Honey’ SunBlesséd seemed unaffected by whatever had caused her team-mates’ indisposition, as did Arna-Maggra o Wirrenne (#31) and both of the squad’s two Vokksur players Renatha Virra’s-daughter (#7) and Ferrae Mirrimng’s-daughter (#26) but even the verrry best defensive efforts that that quartet alone could manage during the second half proved insufficient to keep the hosts from adding another five goals to their score before the match ended and thus taking the final result to two-eight against our girls!
There was verrrry nearly a riot by a large section of our travelling supporters when that decision that the Belles would have to play on with what few of their members were still fit to take the field had been announced, but fortunately for our national reputation The Wise Grorrfinn (who was there, as he has been at the previous few Cups as well, as the Belles’ mascot) narrowly managed to calm people down and defuse this threat. Truly, we are privileged that a Bear of such great Parrurram has chosen to aid our efforts in the field of international sports!
Unfortunately it seems that His Wisdom’s words had faded from the ears of some people by the time that the game reached its dismal end, and there were a number of incidents around the city afterwards as small groups of disappointed and angered fans let out their rage. There was a certain amount of property damage caused, and some of the local team’s supporters were injured to varying extents, but all of these episodes were successfully halted by the local police without anybody (on any side) actually getting killed and our diplomatic representatives in that region Rushmore have been assured that the offenders will receive fair trials.
We have also been promised that the police have launched a verrry thorough enquiry to uncover how, and by whom, whatever substance it was that made the Belles so ill was administered to them. Let us hope so that this search finds the truth quickly, and that the incident turns out to have been either an accident or the work of some lone madman!

“Urrgah! My head still hurts, and my mouth feels as though something has died in it! Have the doctors decided just what we were given yet?”

“No, although from the symptoms — such as the way that Leerrau kept insisting that she could fly, and trying to climb things to use as launch-sites — they’re suggesting that some synthetic drug that has similar effects in humans to ergotism might have been involved…”

“Ur’rmm… So where does that actually leave us? Might as well pack up ready to go home already, at least as soon as everybody is well enough to travel again anyhows, hrrright?”

“Hwell, I’ve done the sums and believe it or not we could still get through to the next round… although that would be partly up to the Archregimancy, as well as us.”

“Oh, yurrah?”

“Yurrah, indeed.
“If we can manage to win our remaining match in this group and they win theirs as well then that would be us and them as the two teams going forwards from this group, but if we win and they draw then they’d still be hokay but we would need to have improved our goal difference to be better than Aguazul’s — which requires beating that side by at least six goals — or we would lose out to them for the second place… and if we win but the holy men lose then it would be Somewhereistonia that wins the group and definitely goes through, with relative goal difference deciding whether it’s us or the Archregimancy that also has a place in the ‘Round of Sixteeen’: Of course, with two games involved rather than just one, getting the better goal difference would probably be easier in the latter case than if we had to make it all up against Somewhere’s total, but I’m certainly hoping that they’ll beat the Somebodies — and do so quite thoroughly, too —nevertheless….”

“Hr’rmmm…
“Anyhows, from how the rest of the girls whom the doctors have cleared are feeling and acting at the moment. this looks like the best line-up that we’ll be able to field for the game against Aguazul…”

Starters
Goalkeeper: Urrathanna o BerryGlades (#30)
Right Back: Urrsirha (#3)
Left Back: Marra o Eastdale (#16)
Lynchpin: Urra ‘Honey’ SunBlesséd (#4)

Midfield Right: Renatha Virra’s-daughter (#7)
Midfield Left: Arna-Maggra o Wirrenne (#31)
Right Forward: Darronthna Lightning (#13) (moved inwards from wing…)
Centre Forward: Jhargeena Lightning (#12)
Left Forward: Errsae Moonlight o Herrchaum (#25)
Right Winger: Ferrae Mirrimng’s-daughter (#26)
Left Winger: Karrtla Redwood (#27) (moved across from Right)

Substitutes
Goalkeeper: Karramarsar Darra (#15)
Defender: Beorra Marra o Barrdenn (#2) (maybe)
Lynchpin: Erra o MiddleMarch (#5) (maybe)
Midfielder: Jerranaya SunChild (#21)
Forward: Irrarla SunDaughter (#11)
Forward: Beorra-Marra-Charra o Redwood (#23) (maybe)
Winger: Karramrassar Ulgarra (#14)

(OOC: The Belles’ roster has been changed since the qualifiers, and the squad that they have brought here to the actual World Cup itself is as listed over there.)

by **Rejistania** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 11:56 am

From the blog of Maritil Hitaril

A draw to remember
The Orange-Blues drew against the West Zirconian side scorelessly. Again, Sinkit I Landaxa considered the match apparently an excercise in Karela. In this case, that was not the worst of all tactics. The Lasane played as if conceding would cause them to be beaten even though Sinkit I Landaxa is normally a very takilan person. Under Kivan Mahele, this however would have been a serious possibility. I realize that I should go to the temple and thank the gods for the fact that darn karelan is fired -- again.

From a perspective of the iti'tan asav of the national team however, the 0:0 probably was dangerous. Syku Kiska a lucky git who reports from the world cup has the idea that the iti'tan asav, ie: the mental state of a team and especially of its supporters can be expressed by one victory and one loss. I think it can be generalized as: by one success and one failure. She makes an eloquent point: Xikila is defined by the 'xikila and the defeat in the cup. Sikane however by the rivalry against Karela, thus both the success and the failure would relate to the Karelan Karelans.

I think that the iti'tan asav of the Orange-Blues which for a long time could be seen in terms of Ariddia and Squornshelous but by now, matches against Bears Armed might be the defining failure and I really fear that the success might be considered this horrible display of defense and... errr... nothing else. I am a takilan and thus opposed to the idea that attack means defeat. However, with matches like these, Karela is kept in the public perception much longer and that is a bad thing.

The fact that we have drawn two matches (with a lot of luck) means that we share the second place of the group with West Zirconia. Jeru FC is on the first position after its victory against the hosts Pasarga who with one point dwell on the bottom of the group. This is not a good situation since they are our next opponent.

To start the fun that is the 'we advance' if calculation (yes, another fleeting moment of optimism here):
If Jeru FC wins we need at least to draw.
If West Zirconia wins, we need to win.
If Jeru FC and WZ draw, we need to win as well or draw with high enough amount of goals to bring us through based on goals scored *laughs hysterically*

Since nothing of this is likely to happen, seeing that we are the worst team of the group, the moment of optimism is over. Pasargan media called us 'the weakest side' (and only qualiified this implicitely) and we are probably going to do what weakest sides do: lose.

OOC: sorry, I wrote this RP on a piece of crap which pretends to be a computer. Sorry for the tyops.

by **The Babbage Islands** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:02 pm

There's nothing quite like playing Starblaydia right after The Holy Empire.

The Imperials have an incredibly long history in the World Cup, going back to the first or second such event ever held. In turn, the Starblaydian eleven were the first of two sides to win the event five times. (The elves of Valanora are the other.)

By contrast, we are Johnny-and-Janie-come-latelies to the scene. This is our seventh World Cup cycle, our fifth in the tournament proper--and now, thanks to a 1-0 victory on an awesome Chloe Morris free kick, we'll see our fourth trip to the second round.

Chloe was an uncertain start until minutes before the match, eventually playing for an under-the-weather Lucy Barton. She wound up as player of the match, and not just for that goal. You could never tell that we were light half our starting back line. If we keep up this kind of intensity and get a healthy Jerry Kirkpatrick back from injury we'll be tough to stop.

I had dinner with Dick Valdemar after the match. He's here for the obligatory spate of meetings that surround any World Cup. I asked if he was disappointed that the Cup of Harmony bid for the islands and Cassadaigua didn't win. He was pretty matter-of-fact about it, pointing out that it all came down to a single vote in the executive committee. He likes the Rejistanian representative and noted that Sarzonia has an excellent record of sport administration. It should be a good event, but I'm still glad we won't be in it. We'll all be watching though for signs of the next emerging powers.

On a personal level Dick seems to have moved past the loss of his beloved Janice a few months back. Andrea and Kenny, their oldest kids, might have had something to do with that--they've both been home a lot. The ski season is in a lull for Andrea, and Kenny is driving only in a domestic circuit this year. So Dad had his most important backers there for him.

But back to the business at hand, we still have one group stage match with Kulverint. Although we'll surely rotate some different faces in to spread some match time around, I've warned everyone not to take this match for granted. Kulverint are a dramatically improved squad from the one we handled easily in a prior Cup qualifying. They'll be playing with no pressure and something to prove. Dropping this one would be the wrong way to go into the final 16.

For those who have followed my foray into chess: The new ratings list is out, and I moved up to 2001. The federation calls that expert, but I have my doubts. It's still a personal best, and I thank GM Steve Erickson and GM Rick Cornett for encouraging me to play harder.

Smile!

by **The Archregimancy** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:04 pm

Monastic Press Release

Fr. Innocent of Ariddia's Goal Wholly Orthodox

We wish to comment upon the recent controversy regarding the winning goal by Fr. Innocent of Ariddia against Aguazul.

Some members of the press have been quick to pounce on a comment by Pelayo Sortani that "Yeah, I was arguing" over the goal. This is in relation to the final pass to Fr. Innocent by Fr. Luke the Third Holy Hegumen, whereby the ball was advanced by Fr. Luke's cane, rather than by his foot.

Fr. Luke is a much-loved and much-respected monk who is famed for the strictness of his ascetic life. In his many years of monastic life, he has become famous for his saintliness, which includes total honesty.

As Fr. Luke is so old, he requires a cane to move with any ease. The referee in the match did not see fit to ban the use of the cane before kickoff, and we can only assume that Fr. Luke's use of the cane was considered within the laws of football. That the ball bounced off Fr. Luke's cane for the final pass is in keeping with similar on-field obstacles such as the referee or large inflatable balloons. Should the ball bounce off one of the latter before crossing the goal line, then the goal still stands.

We wish to emphasise that Pelayo Sortani's full comments read "Yeah, I was arguing, but I guess we really don't have a case", indicating that our opposition on the day may be frustrated by the turn of events, but recognise their legality. As such, any suggestions to the contrary by other media are not just irresponsible, but are a slander upon one of the most respected figures in the Archregimancy's national squad.

We now wish to move forward to our impending 2-1 loss to Somewhereistonia, which will allow us to finish the group stages with our anticipated Trintarian record of 1-1-1 with three goals for and three against.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:24 pm

The match was won, but Juan Tzimisces had something more pressing to worry about.

Something even more pressing to worry about than having to win the last group match against Starblaydia to make it through to the second round.

Something even more pressing to worry about than the impending invasion of the deathworld of Nueva Guadalajara by giant mutant avocados (strictly speaking, that wasn't something Juan was supposed to worry about, but he did like to keep in touch with events in some of the more obscure realities).

His assistant coach was missing.

Simeone Di Bradini was missing.

At halftime of the Kulverint match, with the Empire already leading 1-0, Lord Jagged had provided a demonstration, of sorts, of the pantochronometer. "Observe", he had said "as all possible permutations of the second half to today's match are unveiled to us!"

Which was all lovely (especially since 99.999999% of those permutations had the Holy Empire winning), except that something... happened.

The near-infinite realities unveiled before them folded back into each other. There was a loud <POP>. Lights and sounds and matter .... wobbled.

And when everyone shook themselves back to their senses, it didn't take long to realise that both the assistant coach and kit man had gone missing.

There were some recriminations. Mrs. Persson reminded Lord Jagged of a similar event involving the loss to Polythinia during qualification. Lord Jagged muttered something about 'a few final tweaks'. There was much bemused shaking of heads.

Tzimisces was furious. Bad enough that one of his oldest friends had just vanished into some unknown time and place in the mundy multiverse - and when they were stranded in Ordinary Reality for at least another day, and unable to do much about it.

But the next match was against the Starblaydis - and they were no doubt expecting to see their legendary hero on the sidelines.

What in the near-infinite earths was he going to tell them?

by **Pasarga** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:42 pm

Torgos Tribune ~ Forge Forward

It was a disappointing loss for the Wanderers after they came up short against the group's top seeds in Jeru FC, though the sting of the loss was lessened when the scoreboard showed that Rejistania had held the Zirconians to a draw. Even with the good news from the other match, it was clear that the squad at least was feeling a bit sour after the loss, some of the squad even telling we reporters that they felt the added pressure from the gaffer's promise that they would advance from the group. Even the jovial mood that had swept the country has felt lessened after the tough defeat, which leaves them without their fate in their hands going into the final matchday. The squad now needs a win in its' usual home stadium of Stade de Torgos and for the Cannons to at least draw with the Zirconians if the side is to advance. There are other scenarios for the Wanderers advancement, but they are so unlikely to occur, it is this reporter's choice not to even give them the time it takes to type them out.

It was always going to be a tough task to take points from Jeru FC, made all the tougher with a significant traveling support for the Cannons. In what was supposed to be a mostly Pasargan crowd, it instead turned out to be more fifty-fifty, taking away the home advantage that had spurred on the side to take points of the Zirconians. The midfield was unable to sustain possession for any prolonged period of time, and it was through sheer luck that the side was able to snatch the goal it did. Despite years of hope that she would blossom into a star, it's evident now that Beijersbergen just can not replicate the form she has on the domestic scene into a successful international career. Either as a sign of desperation or simply acknowledging this fact, Tayyib Haddad has replaced her as the starting striker for the pivotal match against Rejistania.

It was believed that once the draw was made, that Rejistania was going to be the worst side in the group. They only just managed to get into the tournament Proper through a combination of luck and favorable decisions by the organizing committee. Yet since they have arrived on our shores, they have shown the prowess that had made them one of the most feared footballing nations not that long ago in history, failing to lose a match through the first two fixtures. Yet for their success at not being able to be defeated, they have also yet to taste the sweet nectar of victory, nor have they faced a severe test of character through adversity. With needing this win to have any hopes at advancement, it is the test of adversity that the Wanderers have had that gives them the sure edge heading into the affair. That alone may not be enough, not if the match against Jeru FC was any indication, and so it falls to the fans to fill up the stadium to capacity wearing the green, gold, and red of Pasarga, show the world what true home support is all about. That will be a victory itself and if form holds true, the catalyst for the Wanderers first trip into the knockouts.

by **Somewhereistonia** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:53 pm

Somesport.som

'Sick' Bears no match for Eagles

Conspiracy is afoot in group E, where the Eagles stormed to their first World Cup Finals victory against Bears Armed with an 8-2 victory. Several members of the Bears Armed team apparently suffering from an unknown illness. Instead of accepting the illness as something that happens, the Bears have apparently made accusations that they were poisoned by a deliberately developed substance. This was further pronounced as the Bears fans looked close to riot after their team looked likely to lose.

Following the match, Eagles manager Roždestvenskij was asked his opinion "well, all of the team were able to finish the match and they managed to score two goals - impossible if they were as ill as they suggest. A few of them did seem a bit out of sorts, but probably just Bear Flu or something. My team just worked with it. I don't see any conspiracy here, just a team that played badly having a few players under the weather. Had it been as bad as they say, surely they would have withdrawn? It's just an excuse".

Further to this, we asked vetinary expert Alexi Tirku what he thought of the 'illness' "well, I don't have access to the Bears to make an investigation but, given the differing physiology of bears to humans and again between the bears of Bears Armed to the ones we have here, it would be extremely unlikely that a drug was deliberately made by anyone in Somewhereistonia for the match. They did seem ill and I'm not sure what it could have been, but if someone did poison them they must either have had a lot of connection with Bears Armed or they just chucked anything in some food or something and hoped".

This reporter thinks that the bears of Bears Armed should take some vitamin C and get on with it, instead of creating a conspiracy for their loss.

The game started as an open contest, with the Bears perhaps sluggish to get off the mark, with Taska making early forays down the wing and looking threatening, despite this, it was the Bears who struck first, with Ferrae Mirrimng’s-daughter's cross shot being palmed away by Hanaterisana, only for the Bears number 12 to slot home past the despairing keeper. Things then got worse for the Eagles in the 18th minute as Urrsa SunBlesséd smashed a long shot into the top corner to put the Bears up 2-0. Things were looking bad for the Eagles, who had come so close to overcoming Azuagul in the first game.

It was in the 31st minute that the Eagles finally broke the sluggish bears, with Taska whipping in a perfect cross for Tasi to nod home. Suddenly things were starting to go our way and with a delightful piece of skill from Birsa on the edge of the box leading to his shot smashing off the woodwork gave hope to an unsettled crowd. Birsa got his goal as half-time approached, Xentolov cutting the ball back for the winger to knock into the corner. It was now 2-2 and the Bears just couldn't cope with the pace and trickery of the Eagles forwards (although they were still winning most, if not all of the headers in the box).

Demʹânovič added a third after half time, copying the second of the Bears Armed goals with his own drive into the top corner from outside the box. It was now 3-2 to the Eagles and the Bears had no answer to the team - their illness not being all too obvious as yet. It was in the second half that the Bears were looking ill, the pace having slowed again, perhaps they had just given in to defeat after the fourth goal, just after the restart. Taska breaking down the flank before playing a one-two with Xentolov before chipping the ball over the oncoming keeper.

A late challenge on Xentolov after he played the ball back to Taska meant that he had to be taken off, replaced by Vihmäveetoru. The youngster making an immediate impact, taking a Demʹânovič pass perfectly before skipping past a tackle and slotting the ball into the far corner. It was now 5-2 and the game was with the Eagles. It was after this goal that the 'illness' really became apparent (and the first treatment given by the Bears medical team), and the Bears fans moved closer to riot.

After this, the Bears moved to a strategy of damage limitation, moving their "healthy" players back to aid in defence. Instead of helping, the phrase "too many cooks" seemed to fit, with the Bear-Belles getting in each others way more than the Eagles players. Quickfire goals in the 78th and 79th minutes put the game firmly beyond reach of the Bears. The first a penalty converted by Vihmäveetoru after Tasi had been hauled down by the Bears number 3. The second, a brilliant run by substitute Kujenai finished off by Tasi after the ball had been cut back from the by-line. 7-2. The Bear-Belles then seemed to sort out their defence, blocking drives mostly from outside the box now. It was a mistake from their keeper in punching a cross away that gave the Eagles the eighth goal in a lengthy injury time. Kasʹânov, who had been brought in for Cashunko to allow for a stronger attack, saw the keeper off her line and chipped the ball over the defenders and into the vacant net. 8-2 the game finished with the Eagles now potentially on course to breaking past the group stage.

The Bears may have suffered somewhat from the illness, but the Eagles were superb today and could have taken on just about anybody with a performance like that. Bring on those preachy monks of The Archregimancy, we are ready for them.

[OOC: I'm trying to ICly deny any connection, they could have been drugged by an individual person with some knowledge of BA bears physiology, but given the goals scored by Bears Armed, they'd have been under the weather/being sick, not unable to walk imo.]

by **Pays de Horreur** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:27 pm

Time in Pays de Horreur had passed so quickly, so quickly in fact the two opening games of the World Cup had completely skipped by them. An opening day 1-1 draw with Sorthern Northland, playing them for the third time in as many cups earned the Horreur a point. This was followed up with a disappointing 2-1 defeat to Albundania who secured their position in the next round after back to back wins.

The adventures of the monkey footballers had somewhat gone down in the priorities of the nation, including the ardent football fans as something much more important was going on.

So important we probably shouldn’t digress and probably couldn’t quite describe the magnitude of the scenario, or event… or thing that’s going on and preventing the people of Pays de Horreur giving their full, undivided attention to the World Cup and allowing it to creep right on by as if they didn’t care.

So, not digressing and not getting in depth and not really giving too much away about the event, or happening or current occurrence we should really focus on the highlights of Pays de Horreur’s campaign. One of which is the epic goal scoring prowess of a little supercharged monkey named Simian Di Bradini who managed a currently unknown number of goals, unknown because whomever was keeping count lost count when concentrating on the event.. or incident or peculiar episode in Pays de Horreur’s recent history.

But anyway, this monkey, he’s great and may just be able to drag the Horreur team kicking and screaming into the next round. But if he doesn’t I don’t think we’ll be too devastated because there’s something going on in Pays de Horreur that’s detracting from the World Cup.

by **Valanora** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:32 pm

The skies were eerily clear over Raynor City, with not a single cloud as far as the elven eye could see. The usually busy and bustling capital of Valanora was calm, its streets sparsely populated, its pubs quiet. The city was almost at a stand still, almost a ghost down, or even under a military lock down with soo many of the citizens in there homes. It however was none of these things, but a day of silence and remembrance, as the rumors of a death in the Raynor family trickled down through from the Senate, to the citizens, until Artanis had given the entire country the day off.

"Such a tragedy, after surviving an assassination attempt all those years ago, that he would fall to a simple virus." the cool voice of General Thravrian said inside the Raynor's family mansion. The entire living family was there: Artanis, Tobias, Lady Oreme, the twins, and the daughter of Rosemary Angelotic. Tobias was sitting with his wife and children, Artanis in a chair next to them, and the other woman across from him, with the General standing behind the couch.

"Yes, he was a remarkable man, helped raised me when my mother was on her adventures and then later when she lost her mind." Tobias said as he thought about how his grandfather was more of his father. "No one will quite replace Zeratul, though someone wanted him dead." his voice changed from sorrow to concern.

The looks of Oreme, Artanis, and the General all became confused as Tobias spoke. Almost in unison, they pressed him for information. "What do you mean?" "Are you saying this wasn't a virus? "What do you know Tobias?"

Looking to his children and then to his distant cousin, she seemed to guess his intentions as she rose from her chair and took the twins from the room. When he thought the children from within hearing distance, he began to explain himself, a solemn look upon his face. "It was a virus, but not a naturally occurring one. When Elune merged the realms over a decade ago, she made a promise to us, a promise that restored our immortality and kept us from ever falling to natural viruses. This thing that killed my grandfather is not something natural, but made in a lab..."

by **Pasarga** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:40 pm

MD3 Results

by **Somewhereistonia** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:57 pm

Final group stage results (Pasarga).

by **Jeruselem** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:44 pm

Jeruselem Government News

Long live the World Cup Queens, the Queens are dead. Here come the new Elves and Princesses.

Today Jeruselem did the impossible and beat World Cup 50 to 51 Champs Cassadaigua 2-1. The Elves from aided Jeruselem by holding Sarzonia to a scoreless draw. This means the 22nd and 39th seed progress in place of the 2nd and 7th seed in Group G.

In Group A, Jeru FC beat West Zirconia to head the group and progress. Greater Prussians Rejistania somehow worked out something called goal scoring and beat hosts Pasarga 2-0 to progress as well.

The game between Jeruselem and Cassadaigua was sea of Pink. Female fans from both sides watched an exciting game. In goal was Princess Helena Troi Dallas as the normal reserve keeper wasn't feeling well still, and Lucy Sallad was banned from playing due to her red card from last game. The last time the teams met, the Dagans won 4-2. When it comes to big "Pink Pride" games, this was huge. Jeruselem needed to win, no argument. Cassadaigua was better off and needed a draw really.

The Jeruselem defense worked hard against the former world champs who tried kill off the game with some quick goals. The Dagans have never seen our Helena in goal, and they were seeing a lot of that now. The Dagans weren't quite their usual selves and despite pressing hard, Jeruselem held firm in defense against persistant raids. The Dagans finally broke through after a header defeated keeper Helena due to her lack of height in the 1st half.

Jeruselem came out the 2nd half with a bit of fight. The Dagans were harassed everytime they got the ball and given little thinking time for the next move. Jeruselem pushed hard forward, trying find cracks in the Dagan armour. Kate Kool finally equalised in the 70 minute to square the game and give Jeruselem a fighting chance. A pass from Peppers slice the tired Dagan defense open and allowed her to take on the keeper one-on-one.

The Dagans seemed a bit flat with their play and not attempting to kill of the hopes of Jeruselem as the Princesses kept on fighting to score that winning goal. Padme Faye Leia (aka "Princess") broke free of her marker and tried to get shot on goal but some desperate defending knocked her over covering her with loose grass. The ref pointed to the spot. She took her penalty kick but it was saved but the ball fell into path of Sister Daffles who made sure it counted.

When game was over, both teams checked who had won the other game. The elven girls had drawn with Sarzonia meaning the group would not locked on 4 points each. It was misery for the Dagans who missed on head-to-head and Jeruselem progressed.

Jeru FC easily made the 2nd round despite a fumbling keeper trying had goals to West Zirconia. Maybe it's better they put a statue as keeper. Jeruselem run into Han crazies again while our Jeru FC boys face the Capitalist SLANI. Rejistania play Albundania next but they would be just happy to be there.

When asked if she wanted to keep the keeper's position, Princess Helena said "No, I'll only do it when I have to. I don't stand around a net all day waiting for a round ball to land in my face."

by **Aguazul** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:39 pm

This was all in Spanish.

It might not have been.

*

"Hello? Oh, hello."

Things had been going pretty well for the Always Right Bautista Texidor. The fellow from the newspaper had the decency not to interrupt him in the middle of anything important, which was nice.

"Oh, they won, then? That's nice."

"Well, drew, actually. A goal each."

"Ooh. Um. You sound...are they going through?"

"Yes! You remember it depended on the scoreline in the other game?"

"I am not your authority on goal permutations. I have meaningful things to do with my life! I...I...it couldn't have been a draw, and something else?"

"The Archregimancy had to win by multiple goals, if they did win."

"Ah. Well, what are you calling me about?"

"They won by six."

"Good for them."

"I'm just wondering, with Aguazul facing The Babbage Islands next, they're ranked third overall, just curious about your opinion. Would you rather have swapped with The Archregimancy in the tables? Only it's that they sound like they'd be surprisingly amenable to that."

"Uh...Who do they have to play?"

"Starblaydia."

Texidor tsked. "Oh. Haven't they won it quite a lot? The World Cup?"

"Yes."

Texidor tsked. "Don't suppose it makes a big difference, does it? Any day, any team...I mean, there's a chance we can beat either side. I don't think it matters, no."

"Okay. And, are you, personally, impressed by the Trinitarian significance of the final tables?"

"The what now?"

"One win, one loss, one draw, three goals scored and conceded; that's...not a symbol of the Holy Trinity, is it?"

"Of course not! That'd be like those, those outlandish strikers who point to the sky when they score, as if God was helping them out and cared which club beat another club. Not that they shouldn't give thanks to God in general, of course, but it's all so arbitrary."

"So...um. God doesn't care about club football?"

"Right."

"What about on the national level?"

Texidor sighed. "Um...I...have things to do."

*

"Oh, it's you."

A thoroughly disheveled Roberto Velasquez stumbled into General Carlos Lopez' office. "Yes."

"What happened?"

"Well, I went to the mint, and they looked at me kinda funny. But eventually I found out we get a lot of our money from people randomly finding it in lakes."

"Ah, so we do!" Lopez beamed. "Wonderful thing, lakes. Knew they were good for something besides dumping waste into. Can't take these things for granted."

Velasquez nodded.

"Right," said Lopez. "Analisa?"

No response.

Lopez sighed. "Bodily Analisa?"

"Yes, sir?" Analisa called from the next room.

"You're, ah, reassigned back to your previous duties. Now that Corporal Velasquez is back with us!"

Analisa sighed. "Yes, sir."

Velasquez raised an eyebrow.

"We've discovered a lot while you were gone. We had to invade Uoeq, you heard about that?"

"Ah, yes."

"And with you gone, we needed some kind of officer in here. It was only temporary, you understand."

"Of course. Who did all your secretarial stuff?"

"Oh, Marina muddled through as best she could. Mathematics and all. Nobody was on telephone duty, I suppose. But it's not like anyone important would have been calling me..."

*

They had not, Gerardo knew, played particularly well. Facing a changed team to begin with, and a reeling one at that, they hadn't been particularly impressive.

Of course, part of that was knowing (that is to say, glancing at the scoreboard and being very, very, confident) they didn't have to win. They'd come out strong, with Vincente getting around Marra o Eastdale to score 25 minutes in. The Bears had slowly taken over possession after that, however, and in minute 58, Errsae Moonlight o Herrchaum had suddenly emerged to convert what had seemed a harmless attempt from Karrtla Redwood. Bears Armed were sluggish to begin with, while Aguazul were hard to motivate, and there hadn't been much else.

He'd pressed on, not out of so much nationalistic fervor as might have been expected, but he wanted the group title for seeding purposes if nothing else. It wasn't even, really, that The Babbage Islands, and not Starblaydia, ostensibly outranked Aguazul (though this indeed happened to be the case), but...

Gerardo glanced at a television in the clubhouse, squinting to make sense. Ah. Well. Never mind, then.

They'd gotten lucky, really, beyond the draw. Somewhereistonia, yes, but...but they'd played the Eagles first, when everyone was in it. And then Somewhereistonia went and scored eight to move ahead of Aguazul; they weren't his problem after that.

In a sense, everyone was getting lucky, but maybe there weren't that many to whom it mattered? Maybe, only it felt less of a maybe and more of a sure thing, he was just afraid.

Which was not, in the grand scheme of things, what one would have hoped for out of a captain heading into the World Cup knockout rounds. But at least for one matchday, the fear gave way to new confidence. Bring on the Bumblebees. They were just another team. And so much the better.

*

That was all in Spanish.

It might not have been.

Ervins Tāls knew English as a second language, and, if he had really wanted to, could have anticipated the second round match by politely noting that Tegan Nash had not in fact once played on a club called the Bugs, nor was she particularly nostalgic for her previous home stadium, whatever it might have been.

He decided against that, however, which was probably for the best.

by **Tretskivucia** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:52 am

On to the Round of 16!
Boris can't count, thinks it is the round of seventy-four

The Tretskivucian national team is on to the Round of 16 after a draw with Valladares and a helpful win over Cafendeu, all thanks to coach Boris. Boris, being a bear, generally doesn't count the same way as us humans, partly due to bears not yet being admitted into schools. Boris believes that it is the round of seventy-four. He's fairly adamant on that and we suggest that you do not contest his counting skills, as he may rip you to pieces and/or eat you. Due to Boris' spectacular performances, discussions are now underway for the equal rights for bears and humans, and a special embassy in Tretskograd for the bear contingent of the country. The Round of 16 looks tough, with a match against Dorian and Sonya at the Spektakl-3-Arena in Somewhereistonia.

World Cup 53 RP Thread

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