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The ( ) Cup: CoH59 bid

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Golgothastan
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Posts: 1152
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Ex-Nation

The ( ) Cup: CoH59 bid

Postby Golgothastan » Sun Dec 22, 2013 10:19 am

A wad of assorted papers, stinking of turnip vodka and covered in mostly illegible doodles, have been crammed into the WCC's inbox just a few days before the hosting deadline. Read on to discover more...

National Profile

On the top, there's a confusingly written encyclopedia entry with attempts clearly made at blacking out the sections marked "Crime", "Eco-Terrorism", "Organ Smuggling", and "Oh No, Please Tell Me We Didn't All Get Drunk And Wake Up In A Different Region Again". Between the smudged marker, a few details of the country's history and culture are still legible. Golgothastan is a nation that has been through many transitions, most notably renaming everything in the country after Sigur Ros songs in deference to President-for-Life (now “Staralfur”) Bort Chocowitz, who is constitutionally prohibited from resigning and whom the Secret Service work tirelessly to keep from escaping, as he is the only competent person in the entire country. Golgothastanis speak a mixture of English, Icelandic, Hopelandic, and completely made-up words, making them highly accessible to tourists: simply screeching in high-pitched wails will likely get you the right order at a restaurant (so long as you ordered turnip). Additionally, Golgothastanis are sporting enthusiasts: though their own teams can rarely afford to participate in international competitions, Golgothastan is extremely highly ranked in football hooliganism, and is the birthplace of many of the leading tactics in this regards, such as the “4-4-2” formation (where 4 people kick the police in the nads, 4 people tip the squad car, and 2 people get the Molotov cocktails ready).

Golgothastan is not a wealthy country, and therefore offers an affordable option for hard working football teams on a budget. Most meals come accompanied by free drinks, as do purchases at shops, visits to museums, attendances at religious services, testimonies before Congressional committee, and refills at petrol stations. Compared to foreign markets, items such as food, clothes, and 16 year old hookers can be bought very cheaply. Teams will stay at EconoHeima hotels (including a free traditional Golgothastani breakfast of fried liver, blood pudding, and mixed meat sausage) and travel around the country on the Super!! Andvari!! bus service (where they will be invited to share in a complimentary "one for the road" with their friendly driver, every four miles). The people of Golgothastan are very welcoming of foreign visitors, especially rich ones. It is strongly advised that teams and supporters considering the trip to Golgothastan take out insurance beforehand, and where possible avoid bringing expensive items such as jewelry, electronics, and children. Visitors need not worry about xenophobia, however: Golgothastanis are equal opportunities swindlers, and will take advantage of anyone, no matter their skin colour or cultural background.

Bid Format

A tourist map of the country advertising notable Golgothastani tourist attractions – their rusting, never used Olympic stadia; their art galleries and museums hosting many priceless artifacts, all of them showing up on stolen lists from foreign collections; Mount Golgothastan, the only elevation in the country, about which many locals harbour the secret fear that it is the product of a giant radioactive mole that will one day emerge to devour them all; and head shops that sell everything from glittery bongs and “Keep Out Mum and Dad!” bedroom stickers to black tar heroin and human adrenal glands – has the various stadia that will be used circled, and other details scrawled in the margins. If they manage to stay reasonably sober, the Golgothastani authorities will invite 32, 40, or 48 nations, with preference given to (in order) those actively participating, those who are not puppets, and then those needed to make up the numbers; they'll then devise a round-robin group stage leading to a single elimination Round of 16.

Guys, that's a pretty big “if”.

Hosting Experience

Among the papers are some well-worn ticket stubs that Golgothastani tourists have brought home from such competitions as the Introduction of Fire (Baptism of Fire 38), World Baseball Classic 16, World Cups of Hockey 11 & 12, the Six Nations Trophy, and some smaller tournaments, all in Quintessence of Dust, and a rather fresher photograph of two Golgothastanis grinning and doing a thumbs-up to the camera next to a blood-spattered chalk outline in a Dark Star Republic hotel room following International Basketball Championship 13. There are also newspaper clippings of the “War of the Salty Turnips” that occurred following Golgothastan's controversial foray into World Cup participation, where their players stole the Baptism of Fire trophy off Somewhereistonia and only gave it back after facing military aggression.

Technical Information

The technical details of the bid have been scrawled on the back of a takeout menu promising “authentic Groonburger cuisine”; on the inside flap is a graphic depiction of a woman and a horse engaged in an eye-wateringly biologically impossible act, intended as a charming homage to the current World Cup hosts. Golgothastan was able to purchase a “nearly new” version of xkoranate 0.3.3 that “fell off the back of a lorry”, and have tasked the actors from their knock-off sitcom “The Big Bamm Bamm Bamm Theory” with loading the highly technical SQIS formula, the post-qual KPB rankings, 5/-5 style modifiers, and a daily RP bonus plus a one-off roster bonus and a couple of other spot bonuses, to generate results – despite the actors' protestations that they really are just actors, and not literally the nuclear scientist characters they portray on the heavily laugh-tracked show.

Although the bid has been written IC, I will of course happily answer any OOC questions.
Last edited by Golgothastan on Sun Dec 22, 2013 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Free Republics
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Founded: May 03, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Free Republics » Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:09 am

Am I correct in interpreting that puppet nations that participate daily or near-daily with acceptable or better RPs would be counted as "actively participating" and those receive preference over less active non-puppets?

Are you going to post a link to this thread on the WCDT? I'm not sure if that is a requirement, but it seems like everybody that bids does it.
Games of the XIII Olympiad Host / NS Olympic Council President
1st: DBC 28, X Winter Olympics, Independents Cup 4, CoH 66
2nd: World Cup 68, DBC 27, U15WC 8, UWCFA Gold Cup I, BoI 15, 2nd Imperial Chap Olympiad, NSCF 11
3rd: World Cups 71 & 81, DBC 29, UWCFC Gold Cup III, GCoS 1
Qualified: World Cups 68, 69, 71, 72, 73, 79
Host: World Cups 68 & 81, CoH 58, X Winter Olympics, World Bowls XXII & XXXI, WBC 42, RUWC 25, Beach Cup XI, World Korfball Classic III, Runner Cup 7
Current Senior Consul: Kyle Bolton (Liberty)
Current Junior Consul: Scarlett Nicholls (Liberty)
Demonym: Republican
Trigram: FFR
Official Nation Name: Federation of Free Republics
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Golgothastan
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Posts: 1152
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Ex-Nation

Postby Golgothastan » Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:13 am

Free Republics wrote:Am I correct in interpreting that puppet nations that participate daily or near-daily with acceptable or better RPs would be counted as "actively participating" and those receive preference over less active non-puppets?


Yes. My preference is for the CoH to be for active RPers. If people genuinely RP their puppets actively, they of course merit inclusion. I'm simply not wild about puppets that are just there to be there and maintain KPB rankings. Still, meeting the requirements of a multiple of 4 (or preferably 8) will always require a little flexibility in the invitation criteria.

Edit: I think a better way of expressing this is that activity is the primary consideration, and puppet status the tiebreaker. I'd like to be able to draw up a list of invitations entirely based on activity, but the demands of having a suitable number mean there always has to be some other consideration when ceteris paribus. I hope that makes more sense?

Are you going to post a link to this thread on the WCDT? I'm not sure if that is a requirement, but it seems like everybody that bids does it.

Ok, will do.
Last edited by Golgothastan on Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:23 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Apox
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Posts: 2227
Founded: Jun 30, 2012
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Apox » Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:38 am

Not a question regarding the user or bid content, but why is it the ( ) Cup? Nothing against you calling that, I'm just curious.
The History of Modern NSSports internationalpost.apx (Newswire) The Apoxian Compendium
Winners: Campionato Esportiva IV, V & XVI, World T20 Championships VI, Imperial Chap Olympiad
Runners-up: CoH 58, World T20 Championships V, Campionato Esportiva XII
Third: Campionato Esportiva XIII
Fourth: Campionato Esportiva VII & XV
Baptism of Fire 50, Cup of Harmony 56, World Cup 69, World Cup 73, World Cup 82
Friendly Cups 2 & 6, World T20 Championships II, Campionato Esportiva IV, VIII, XII & XXIII, GCF Season 4, 8 & 10

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Golgothastan
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Posts: 1152
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Ex-Nation

Postby Golgothastan » Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:41 am

It's a joke, basically, based on the Sigur Ros influences of Golgothastan, and the fact that if the actual Cup of Harmony trophy were allowed into Golgothastan, it would undoubtedly be stolen and melted down for scrap metal.

I did a similar renaming of Baptism of Fire 38: Quintessence of Dust was an avowedly secular nation notoriously hostile to religion, and hence the tournament was temporarily renamed the "Introduction of Fire".

It honestly doesn't make a difference to the bid, though.

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Vilita
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Founded: Feb 23, 2004
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Vilita » Sun Dec 22, 2013 4:00 pm

Can you answer these questions (for all the readers who haven't or won't be catching up on the last 3 pages of the WCDT):

1) Who are you?

2) What (IC) would a non-participating nation have to offer the community?

3) Are you in any way related to the other nation in the WCDT that is posting about putting in a CoH bid despite not being in the cup

3A) If Yes, why are you posting in the WCDT with one nation, posting this bid with another while all the while taking heritage from a third?

Thanks :)
Last edited by Vilita on Sun Dec 22, 2013 4:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
-¤-¤-¤World Cup 20 Champions¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤World Cup 68 Champions¤-¤-¤-
-¤-¤-¤World Cup 77 Champions¤-¤-¤-

Region: Atlantian Oceania - The Home of Sport

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Golgothastan
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Posts: 1152
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Ex-Nation

Postby Golgothastan » Sun Dec 22, 2013 4:20 pm

Vilita wrote:1) Who are you?


Golgothastan is my oldest nation. However, the nation I am most associated with is Gruenberg. The nation I am most known for in NS Sports - and with which I have done all of my hosting until recently - was Quintessence of Dust. My current most active nation is The Dark Star Republic.

2) What (IC) would a non-participating nation have to offer the community?


Golgothastan has plenty of RP potential, I feel. The general sense of the bid is that the CoH is a low budget alternative to the World Cup. (A relic of the fact that my original bid, a few years ago, ran alongside the Cafundelese World Cup, with all their taxes.) Also, Golgothastani culture is pretty anarchic, so I don't mind too much people taking liberties.

I'm not sure my national team's participation is directly relevant, though. My job as host is to read the RP thread and create a list of invitations; turn that list into a suitable number for tournament sorting; set up and scorinate the tournament using RP bonuses; and post results and resolve any OOC disputes. None of that has any bearing on my own team's relative footballing strength.

3) Are you in any way related to the other nation in the WCDT that is posting about putting in a CoH bid despite not being in the cup


Yes, as answered above.

3A) If Yes, why are you posting in the WCDT with one nation, posting this bid with another while all the while taking heritage from a third?


I posted in the WCDT before I realized DSR would be prohibited from bidding; had I known that, I would have posted with Golgothastan from the start. I'm not sure about the "heritage" bit - neither DSR nor Golgothastan have any real in-character connection to Quintessence of Dust - but I thought it would be helpful to list my hosting experience to those unfamiliar with me, given I was last active 2-3 years ago!


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