World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

by **Apox** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 5:25 am

George McLaren was sat at the bar of The Rose and Thistle in Dwyle, idling away time by drinking. He didn't have to worry about getting ill or hangovers or such, as he could quite contentedly drink as much as he wanted to without fear of problems here in the afterlife or in Old Wight as it was known.

He'd woken up one morning to find himself most certainly not in his bed at home next to his wife, but in a dreary and lifeless hospital, to be informed that he had had a heart attack, was subsequently dead, and did he mind moving as they had quite a busy schedule that morning.

Upon leaving the hospital, he'd had quite a breakdown, but had recovered whilst basically living in a bar in Wight Spit. He learned that this was some kind of heaven, well, it was nearly in no way similar except for the fact that it was full of dead people. So, he had set out to find some other Apoxians, for there must be quite a few in a big place like this full of every dead person that you could want. And so it was that he had stumbled upon Dwyle, a small village which was comparatively close to Wight Spit when compared to the entirety of the almost infinite expanse of Wight. Thank God they had a bus service.

He had found a great number of dead Apoxians there, and had been quite bemused to be hanging out with several old famous characters who were engrained into Apoxian legend. People had told him that nearly every dead Apoxian had passed through Dwyle at some point or other, though they were now scattered throughout Wight. His arrival was 9 years ago, and he had been content to remain in Dwyle for a short while, after all, when you had an eternity to endure, why hurry to see everything?

He awoke from his reverie, in time to order another beer off Sir Charles Barton, the first major of Dwile and therefore first leader of Apox, who had been spending the last 103 years as the barman in the Rose and Thistle for a change of scenery. It was at that moment where he realised that someone had sat down next to him, also ordering a beer,

"You alright mate?" he asked, turning to the man, "George McLaren, pleased to meet you," The man seated next to him grinned and replied,

"Aye, well I suppose it's nice t' be meetin' ya. The name's AV Bodwannick." He turned away again to pick up his drink, thanking Sir Charles Barton before turning back to George, "so what's ya story then?"

"Well, it's not a great story to tell really. I once belonged to a nation called Apox, bit of a tip really, and played quite a lot of football. Retired and was a pundit for a couple of years but then I had a heart attack so I ended up here. This entire village is full of Apoxians." Bodwannick raised an eyebrow, interested, before replying,

"That's funny you should say, as I play for a football team meself. Haïtiens, one of the best teams in all of Wight, won the Post Season Championships last season, so we did." George was impressed. Naturally as a sporting guy he had looked up on the sports in Wight and there appeared to be quite a large football league which took place. He'd heard of Haitiëns and their antics, but wasn't much impressed by their style of play, preferring the more old fashioned and quaint style of Gallows FC who played quite locally.

"Oh, Haïtiens, well they're alright..." started George, before being quickly interrupted by Bodwannick,

"Alright?!?" he spluttered, "Alright?! We're one of the best teams in the entire Haphazard Foundation! I'd like ta see ya beat us." Now they were both riled, as George had always thought himself quite a good footballer, and he certainly wasn't going to take this arrogance from this bloke he'd only just met.

"Really?" he exclaimed, "Fine then I bet I could beat you." Bodwannick looked at him sceptically, but shrugged and said,

"Your on, fifty blood shillings says ya team of Apoxians'll lose."

"Nah, let's make it more interesting than that! If we win, my team gets to replace yours at Haïtiens." That did get Bodwannick slightly worried, it was nice to see his face devoid of that self assured arrogance. After quite a pause he slowly reached out his hand and said,

"I'll check with the boss, but we'll take you on." George smiled, before saying,

"And if we lose?"

"Then you have to publicly admit after the game that Haïtiens is the best team ever." George growled slightly, that would be hard to admit, especially now that his childhood club FC Endeavour had reformed.

"Deal." And with that AV Bodwannick was gone, to catch the bus back to Wight Spit and see if this betted match up could be achieved. Now all George had to do was muster together a team of individuals to beat that damned Bodwannick and his Haïtiens.

Well, that was an odd game of football indeed, to open Apox's qualification cycle. We were allocated the completely unknown nation of Penileanium to play against, who had neglected to send us a roster of who would be representing them for the match. This was no big problem, as many nations we play against often forget to send us their rosters, they get lost somewhere along the lines. However, the opposing team normally at least has the decency to show up.

With ten minutes to go before the game started, there was still no sight of the team from Penileanium, as the Apoxian team took to the field. The Royal Stadium looked rather empty, as not a single seat from the 20,000 allocated to away teams had been sold for the match, leading to a more muted atmosphere. There was a highly confused singing of the Apoxian national anthem, as they was still no sight of the opposing team.

The match officials, including the referee Rhenn Xulasz, of our neighbours, The Glorious Commune, hurried off to see if the Penileanium team would arrive or not. After a lengthy 15 minute wait, Rhenn returned to the bored footballers on the field to inform them that the game would indeed take place, despite the lack of opposition players.

Númba briefly gathered some of the team together in the moments just preceding the whistle, telling them to take the game seriously, and not to muck about too much. They managed to do that for precisely two minutes, after Olim Benzari and Marlon Vetta both scored in the first two minutes, shooting at an open goal. The rest of the first half, was played in a stupid fashion, with Fronden Abel suggesting they all line-up from the halfway line, to kick the ball into the net. First up was Keri Ularu, who was dead accurate, scoring with her first kick, with the ball being returned to the halfway line. The second player to attempt the challenge was Hans Nielssen, who's shot was wildly wide, leading to a goal kick. But therein, lay the flaw, as there was no goalkeeper to take the kick.

After 15 minutes of play, with the Apoxian team debating the rules with the referee, with Númba having stormed off to have the game forfeited, and with 90% of the crowd having angrily left the stadium, Rhenn Xulasz finally decided to declare the game forfeit, with a 3-0 standard win allocated to Apox.

The AFB have since released this message,

"We apologise sincerely to all concerned regarding the farcical events of yesterday's game against Penileanium, who didn't elect to send a team. In light of the rules set out by the WCC, the game has been declared forfeit with Apox winning 3-0 by default. For statistical purposes, none of the caps or goals scored by Apoxian players will count from yesterday's game. The AFB will fully refund all the sold tickets for the game, apologising profusely, and intends to sue the government of Penileanium for their poor international sporting conduct."

by **The Sovan Antithesis** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:57 am

ALL HAIL MARGRET

OK, now that our team has recited our oath, let's take a look at our schedule:

1. @ Karditan
L 1-3
2. Jedi8246
3. @ Saintland
4. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
5. @Sondstead
6. Aquitayne
7. @Sangti
8. @Narsora
9. Wight
10. Karditan
11. @Jedi8246
12. Saintland
13. @The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
14. Sondstead
15. @Aquitayne
16. Sangti
17. Narsora
18. @Wight

Whether it is The Sova Empire or The Sovan Antithesis, Karditani's and Sovans have had a bit of history. Here is a list of events that have now featured a Sovan team and Karditan:
-World Cup 64 qualifiers, TSE loses to Karditan 0-1
-World Cup 64 qualifiers, TSE beats Karditan 1-0
-Saintland Triple Crown St. Lucas Derby, "He Who Shall Not Be Named" from TSE beats "Sly Bardero" from Karditan by 4.342 seconds
-Saintland Triple Crown Take Me Higher Derby, "The Square Root of 25" from TSE loses to "Sparkling Cider" from Karditan by 1.89 seconds
-World Bowl 20 qualifiers, Karditan beats TSE 7-17
-World Bowl 20 qualifiers, Karditan beats TSE 0-7
-World Cup 65 qualifiers, Karditan beats TSA 1-3

When 36300 put one in the net in the 12th minute, Karditan decided they wouldn't let a Sovan team beat them again, as Lightning Heart charged one into the goal only 3 minutes later, and Richard Bunson would score twice (in the 54th minute and the 63rd) to ensure a Sovan defeat.

We've done the oath, the match report, and we now present you, the daily census ranking for our group. Today, pacifism.

1. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (501)
2. Narsora (311)
3. Sondstead (221)
4. The Sovan Antithesis (182)
5. Wight (144)
6. Saintland (82)
7. Sangti (-62)
8. Aquitayne (-100)
9. Karditan (-314)
10. Jedi8246 (-383)

And the running tally (10 for first, 9 for 2nd, etc.):
1. Wight (16)
2. Sondstead (14)
3. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (13)
3. Narsora (13)
5. Karditan (11)
6. Saintland (10)
6. Aquitayne (10)
8. Jedi8246 (9)
9. The Sovan Antithesis (8)
10. Sangti (6)

by **Turori** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:05 am

Eels ease past Asasia 2-0
Controversial Darmen Trip Awaits

Klaillal Tuirma made his long awaited debut for the Turori National Team at Eels Park in Eelandii where the Eels opened up their World Cup 65 Qualifying campaign in fine fashion, taking care of debutant side Asasia by a 2-0 scoreline.

The goals came from familiar places, however, with Liinai Zakazaka netting his 42nd registered international goal to open the scoring 19 minutes into the match and Lioniaa Tana following up on a close-range header for his 8th career international goal, putting Turori up 2-0 at the half.

The match would play out without any further permutations to the scoreline and it was a solid 3 points to start off the campaign for Saenu's Eels.

However, by the time the players and coache' arrived for the obligatory post-match press conference that follows any official WCC sanctioned competition match, the focus has drifted away from the opening match and ahead to matchday #2. Turori would be wasting no time in putting itself in the middle of, not only a crucial match with implications on who would qualify from Group 2 to the World Cup Finals, but also political implications as it would be the first meeting between Darmen and Turori outside of a neutral venue since the Gibbons-scandal rocked the Darmeni sporting community and saw Turorian coach Mikael Gibbons along with his three sons and family banished from the Rechom.

The Eels will travel to Darmen on Matchday 2 in the first of two meetings between the sides during the Qualification.

The Eels will debut this new "Regional Flavor" change kit
in their upcoming match against Darmen in Rushmore

In regards to that match against Darmen, the Eels will be debuting their new "Regional Flavor" change kit produced by Kirola Sportswear of Audioslavia. In fact, the kits were made for World Cup 64 but, in a rare but perhaps deliberate screw up from the Audioslavian sportswear manufacturer, the kits never arrived in Eelandii forcing the Turori National Team to continue wearing the stained-glass-inspired monstrosity that likely was the reason for their Early Exit from World Cup 63 and utterly poor performance in failing to qualify for World Cup 64.

The water has gone under the bridge, however, and the Eels will proudly wear the colors of Atlantian Oceania as they travel for the crucial matchday 2 fixture in Rushmore. In addition to the change of kit, there have been some roster moves for the Eels leading up to the Darmeni showdown.

The Gibbons Brothers, Aaron, Abraham and Jake - aging as they are, have apparently decided to avoid political unrest and the possibility of who-knows-what kind of punishment for breaking the terms of their banishment from the Rechom and all appear to have been left out of the team travel sheet for the Rushmori trip.

However, perhaps in anticipation of some unrest, the Football Association of Turori have added 5 new names to their roster leading up to the match against Darmen.

Kigaoua Oalalka and Inaosnaa Klanoa, young prospects from Mavaloiao FC in Vilita, will be traveling with the Eels for the first time but are unlikely to see any playing time in the critical top-of-the-table/rankings clash. Three other names, however, appear unfamiliar to even the most well versed in Turorian sport, and fans will be on-edge to see what kind of hidden gem the Football Association of Turori has up its sleeve for the match.

Speculation that a new breed of Cocoabo-robo-thing was in the works may be the leading rumor at this stage, with the three players all sharing the same moniker "Coco-bons" with the deliniaters being the labels "Ekajii, Harabii and Noraai" for the three, at this time, unknown entities that will apparently be traveling with the Eels to Darmen.

While no major changes would typically be expected to the Eels lineup, it is clear that Saenu and the Football Association of Turori may be prepared to discard the traditional Turorian playbook to ensure a positive result in Darmen.

Turori Goalscorers::
19' Liinai Zakazaka
41' Lioniaa Tana

Asasia Goalscorers::
:: None
::

Turori

Best Player: Yoains Konoaafeo
Worst Player: Ronji Miiastara
Shots on Target: 3
Corner Kicks: 3

Asasia

Best Player: Asasian Defender
Worst Player: Asasian Winger
Shots on Target: 1
Corner Kicks: 1

Turori Eels Lineup ::
[GK] Ronji Miiastara, [D] Diauro Dlaminii, [D] Lioniaa Tana, [D] Yoains Konoaafeo, [UT] Klaillal Tuirma, [ML] Cediici Tzatzos, [MC] Rikko Rawaii, [MC] Rutaj Ranaso, [MR] Etamara Kulkkiia, [FC] Liinai Zakazaka, [FC] Loala Kigoouao
BENCH::
[FC] Jukkia Diijelhma, [FC] Anuh Ciniima, [M] Aaron Gibbons, [M] Raso Tareak, [UT] Balariita Muzmaara, [D] Noa-isinao Wioauoi, [GK] Hooizo Nuakoi

Turori Substitutions::
(45) - Liinai Zakazaka >>> Jukkia Diijelhma
(68) - Rutaj Ranaso >>> Anuh Ciniima

by **Blouman Empire** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:50 am

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Polking Forced To Resign

The fallout continues to reverberate through the FFB for the Di Bradini Cup registration failure as the investigation claims it's first head forcing FFB chairman Sir Luke Polking to resign permanently. After the FFB failed to have the Blouman U21 international team registered to play in the Di Bradini Cup a investigation was ordered by the FFB Board to investigate what happened, since that time the investigation has been expanded to include all operations FFB with a further year added onto the timeline. Last night the inquiry revealed that it had found systemic poor planning and management throughout all aspects of the FFB citing a number of procedures had not been followed, had not been improved and in some cases failed to be installed and that this behaviour was rampant. Sir Luke who has been on leave since the inquiry began announced that he would resign from his role immediately and expressed his wish that the investigation would continue in a timely manner. The FFB Board has announced that Deputy Chairman James Bolson will be made Acting Chairman until the inquiry releases their full report.

Despite the inquiry continuing to disrupt the FFB it has failed to disrupt the Blouman Eagles whom have started their qualifying campaign for the 65th World Cup. After qualifying to the last world cup, manager Sir Keith Kolson has decided to keep the same players that brought success to the last campaign and have started their campaign on the right foot with a 3-2 over Bloodridge. Three goals by the Eagles in an almost perfect first half ensured that the team stamped their dominance on the game. During the second half Bloodridge came back putting pressure on the Blouman players forcing them to make a number of errors, this resulted in Bloodridge scoring two late goals to give the away side something to worry about. Despite the minnow side continuing their late charge the Eagles were able to hold off the attack putting them on the right path to another World Cup.

by **Carasatoga** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:54 am

Walking through the door to his suite, the middle aged man sighed as he entered, stripped his outer clothing, and threw himself onto the bed. It was mere minutes before the team was to leave for the airport for the flight home. He was not in the best of moods, like the rest of the squad, as they had just ended a tough game against Darmen. The two had gone into halftime drawn at nil-nil and in the first two minutes of the second half both nations had put a goal on the board. First was Storm Lawrence scoring the team's first goal of qualification in the 46th minute, followed by Bryan Faulkner of Darmen, notching one for his side in just one play in the 47th. The teams held even for the next forty minutes, going into extra time. In the second minute of a three minute period young Darmeni star Roberto Gregio put one into the back of the net off of a corner placed in nicely by Gene Turko.

The shot had not been heart-breaking, but heart-destroying. All of Carasatoga had believed in them and thought they were to draw with the top team in the group, but it wasn't to be. Ohad Yackobson, former Carasatogan superstar and captain took the loss incredibly hard. Now the team had to overcome a 0-1-0 record to start off with. He himself had never been able to qualify as a player, and the rebellions in the West had taken his chances of trying one last time away from him. It was all he ever thought about, and had at first jumped at the offer put forward by National Team Coach, Jeffrey Sevey and the Director of the CSF, Gregor Halynne to be an Assistant Coach for the team he had only just retired from, but then he had to think again.

He had married his wife nearly six years ago, Carasatogan actress and model Stephany Quinn and they now had a four year old, Jacob, and a one year old, Madeleine. He had not been able to see them very much for the past few years because he played abroad and they lived in Milita. Did he really want to leave them again, this time for perhaps decades if he did his job well? When he came home that night slightly intoxicated, Stephany had known something was wrong.

"Haddi? What's the matter with you? Jacob and the baby are sleeping." She hurried down the stairs and guided her husband to the their sofa where he fell backwards into the soft material and began to close his eyes. "Oh no, we're not playing this game." She first shook him and when it was to no avail she picked up the glass which had a little water remaining at the bottom of it off the table and threw it in his face.

"What the f-!?" Ohad jumped up and shook his head to get the drops off of himself.

"There, now you're listening, hmm?" Stephany gently pulled him back onto the couch so they discuss his behavior. "Haddi. What is going on with you? You haven't come home like this since you were in your twenties. What happened?" Stephany showed heartfelt concern for the man she had loved for years.

"Coach and the Director took me to dinner tonight and asked me... me to be assistant gopher... gopher's assistant.... coach." He was struggling to get the words out, and it was not only because of the alcohol in his system.

"Wait. Jeff and Halynne asked you to be an Assistant Coach? For the National Team? Well Haddi that's great! You just said yes to the coaching job at UH and that would be great build-up to this. So why is it, after having been offered such a fantastic opportunity, you come home in this state?" She slapped him slightly on the arm to get her point across that he was being ridiculous.

"Fantastic opportun... Steph! How can you say that to me? How can you want me to take this job? I would have to leave you and Jacob, and the baby. We haven't even gotten to name her yet!" He swore he would be home until she turned three months, as it was customary in Carasatoga to not name a child until he or she turned three months old. "I mean, I would have to leave next week. The baby is only ten weeks old. The job isn't on the coast, it's in Caroga." He said it as though compared to the metropolis on the Old Coast, Caroga was nothing.

"The capital? What's wrong with that? Caroga is just as, if not more. nice than Aurelia even if it does get colder and there are more middle-aged people there. Our aged people. I wouldn't mind moving there, and as you said yourself, the kids are young enough where they wouldn't even know the difference. Remember the fight we had discussing a move to Hialeah? There is no fight this time. We can move, and you can work in Caroga and take the HSR to Hialeah." The HSR was the short-hand name for the Carasatoga High-Speed Rail Network that connects Carasatoga's largest cities with bullet trains. A trip from Caroga to Hialeah would be barely an hour on the HSR. She knew that wasn't what was really bothering her husband, but she didn't want to push.

"But what about the playing... ers?" He mumbled, much more coherently. He was beginning to sober up. Finally, she thought, there it is.

"That's what this is about." She removed herself from the couch and knelt on the floor in front of him. "Haddi. You played professionally for what, twenty years? Isn't it time to move on, pass what you know onto the next generation? Help your country to qualify for the World Cup?" She began to tear up as he was visibly beginning to as well.

"But what would it matter if I'm not playing?" He seemed completely sober now. "Why should it matter to me if some kid gets to do something that I never got to do? It's not..."

"Fair?" She finished for him.

"...yea." He confirmed.

"You mean it's not fair that you get to do all the stuff I just said, that you get to not only play for your nation but help to lead and develop its program? To seek the new talent of tomorrow and have a hand in molding it to fit the world stage? You're right, how unfair." She was smiling at him as she would a child and he finally got the message.

"I'm taking it." He looked down at his hands, wringing the edge of a throw pillow but then moved his eyes slowly up to look into hers. "We're moving."
She smiled and got up to kiss him on the cheek. "You're damn right we're moving." They both laughed as she lay her head on his chest and listened to his breathing until they both feel asleep there shortly after.

Back in his suite, not yet packing the few belongings he had brought for the trip to Darmen, he sat up from the bed and once more sighed. After another couple moments he worked up the ambition to stand up and walk over to the window. It was a great city, but not as good as Carasatoga's he decided. "Let's go home." There next game would be in Caroga, and he would be able to see his family if only for a couple hours, but it was well worth it. Nekoni would not be as tough an opponent as Darmen, and the team wouldn't know what hit them as the Old Coast Boys made their debut at home. Ohad smiled once more as he moved away from the window and picked up a shirt to fold and begin packing, "Let's go win."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Matchday 1
Carasatoga 1:2 Darmen
Lawrence (CRG) 46'
Faulkner (DAR) 47'
Gregio   (DAR) 92'

by **Vilita** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:06 am

New-Look Jungle Cats Triumph over Newcomers

Vilita 2-0 Kizzyboi

Thankful just to have a job after a dismal World Cup 64 Campaign that saw the Jungle Cats crash out without a single victory in the Group Stage after a near-perfect Qualifying campaign, Calaesa Mitaroka led the Jungle Cats into the Tivali Ring Stadium in Alikki-Corra to play an unknown entity in Kizzyboi, and walked out with 3 crucial points to start off the road to Pasarga and Saugeais.

Typically the match where the Vilitan's set themselves back to play catch-up the rest of the campaign, Mitaroka steered his troops through to victory with a new-look 3-4-3 lineup after many seasons of a non-traditional 3-1-4-2 look from the Alikki-Corra based outfit.

Mitaroka handed a debut to young Inland Peaks defender Tlikao Muratai, making Muratai the youngest player to appear in a Vilita National Team shirt since World Cup 57. Nycflala Kater stood between the sticks after many expected it might be Atacir Tivalan who led Makosile to the Vilitan Stellar Division title the season before. Tivalan did not even find himself on the bench though is still expected to be a major part of Mitaroka's plans for the qualifying campaign.

For Muratai, however, the pressure must have been enormous. Having only just been promoted from the Youth System to the main squad at Inland Peaks, the Declasse division player had never even played against the likes of Miiara Makose, Steffyn Siazzu and Kristofer Kilpter - no less lined up along side them and stepped out onto the pitch in front of 87,000 home fans.

Despite the pressure, the debutant Muratai performed admirably, earning respect for both himself and the Inland Academy that developed the player that caught the eye so quickly of head coach Mitaroka.

In fact, the performances of Muratai became increasingly more crucial as the match proceeded on and the jeers from the fans grew louder, with Group 19's top-seeded Jungle Cats being held goalless by the unranked and unknown Kizzyboi entity.

Mitaroka went All-Out-Attack in the second half, replacing Siazzu with a 4th forward, Erocka Lorei. It seemed to be just what the doctor ordered, although success was not instantaneous. it took a further 20 minutes into the second half before the chance finally came. After earning a foul 30 yards out, Lorei stood over the ball and lined up as the players from both teams jostled inside the penalty area. As the ball came in it seemed to lock on to the head of Kilpter who turned it excellently to break the goose-eggs and put the Jungle Cats on the board.

After the goal, Cristoh Nrubari, who had fresh life after becoming the second Vilitan player to transfer to the Polarian league system, moving to SK Aasiaat Harbour, gave way to Riksa Valjariia.

The debut was also complete for Tlikao Muratai. The youngster received an ovation leaving the pitch in the 70th minute, a respectable performance for having been thrown feet first into the flames at such a young age.

The match wasn't over, however, and Kilpter - the other Polar Islandstates-based player on the Vilitan roster, netted for a second time just after the substitution to double the Vilitan advantage and wipe the uncertainty off the brow of the fans at the Tivali-Ring Stadium.

It was just a warmup, however, of sorts, as the Jungle Cats would be off to Lonngeylin to square off against regional rivals Kinitaria - Vilita's main competition for the top spot in Group 19 and Automatic Qualification to World Cup 65.

	Kizzyboi
:: Goalscorers :: :: 64' Kristofer Kilpter :: 71' Kristofer Kilpter	:: Goalscorers :: ::None ::
:: Best Player: Kristofer Kilpter :: Worst Player: Actalia Mermaioada :: Shots on Target: 5 :: Corner Kicks: 7	:: Best Player: Kizzyboi #9 :: Worst Player: Kizzyboi #4 :: Shots on Target: 3 :: Corner Kicks: 6

Vilita Jungle Cats ::
[GK] Nycflala Kater, [D.] Miiara Makose, [D.] Baiiub Jual-Knakok, [D.] Tlikao Muratai, [ML] Cristoh Nrubari, [MC] Manolis Kontalroma, [MC] Steffyn Siazzu, [MR] Rexii Tzikas, [FC] Lita Adjei, [FC] Kristofer Kilpter, [FC] Actalia Mermaioada
BENCH::
[FC] Viji-mara Lawaai, [FC] Erocka Lorei, [M] Riksa Valjariia, [M] Aniara Jiurjai, [U] Lita Adjei, [D] Kadi Molali, [GK] Aranora Jaded

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Steffyn Siazzu >>> Erocka Lorei
(69) - Cristoh Nrubari >>> Riksa Valjariia
(70) - Tlikao Muratai >>> Lita Adjei

by **Punum** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:12 am

Punum Get Hammered In Opening Game Of World Cup

Punum's habit of starting badly in tournaments continued as they lose 4-1 to Consumar in the 65th World Cup yesterday. After taking an early lead Consumar bounced back and dominated the game.

Consumar kicked off, instantly losing the ball to Martin Hood, he played it down the right to Michael Dean, he then has a run down the right, beating the opposition's left back, floated the ball in beautifully to Martin Hood who headered it powerfully straight at the keeper, who stopped it, but on the rebound Malcom Guzman smashed it in from close range. Punum 1 Consumar 0 in the second minute. Consumar woke up got a corner, the ball came in from the left but the centre back Skyed it way over the bar with his head. Punum calmed down after that chance and Felix Briggs tried playing a short pass to Albert Chandler, Consumar's left winger intercepted the ball and was straight on goal, he kept his head and placed it into the the opposite corner of the goal. Consumar had equalised in the ninth minute. Consumar were on the attack for the rest of the half, but Felix Briggs picked his head up and pulled of some outstanding saves to keep Punum in the game. In total Consumar had 12 shots in the first half. While Punum on the other hand had two. Football is a game of two halves, unfortunately for Punum though, Consumar improved their finishing and carried on dominating. However, in the first five minutes there was very little happening with no shots being taken, that was to change though, Rick Curtis played a beauty of a ball down the left wing to Henry Dean, he then faked to cut inside and layed the ball in front of Marcos Dane, he played it back to the edge of the box to Rodrick Dalton but he skyed it over the bar. The game went quiet again after that with very few shots being taken. Then in the 56th minute the Consumar midfielder play a lovely ball over the top of Curtis and Conley, the striker brought it down expertly and chipped it over Briggs, Consumar now led 2-1 after 61 minutes. Around the 75 minute mark, Consumar were still dominating and they received a free kick, Punum made all three of their substitutions. These were Norman Ismael, Chris Lloyd and Aaron McGuire in for Clinton Conley, Malcom Guzman and Martin Hood. Despite these changes, things carried in going downhill for Punum, the Consumar captain curved the ball into the top right corner of the goal making it 3-1 in the 78th minute. In the dying moments of the game Consumar struck again in the third minute of added time the Consumar right winger received the ball, he took it round Marcos Dane and played the cross in onto the head of the striker. 4-1 in added time. This is how the game finished.

Punum's next game is against Kandorith who have drawn against Tyrrin 1-1. Manager Zackary Brown has announced the team.

GK: Felix Briggs
RB: Craig Hoffman
CB: Clinton Conley
CB: Rick Curtis
LB: Marcos Dane
CDM: Lenny Dotson
RM: Michael Dean
LM: Henry Dean
CAM: Chris Lloyd
CAM: Malcolm Guzman
ST: Martin Hood

Subs
GK: Bill Hanson
RB/LB: Albert Chandler
CB: Norman Ismael
CDM: Matthew Jewell
RM/LM: Neil Long
CAM: Rodrick Dalton
ST: Aaron McGuire

The two changes are Craig Hoffman and Chris Lloyd replacing Albert Chandler and Rodrick Dalton.

By Lee Mueller

by **Nandezia** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:37 am

by Tomas Ubina

Nandezians Off On Losing Foot

The Nandezian national team has lost their opening match away at New Sideburn, 2-0, which puts the Canaries on a two game losing streak, and two games in a row without scoring a goal. Manager Dani Clemente assured us that he felt the game was in his hands for the majority of the game, but was unable to apply the finishing touches, both on the field and in the manager's box.

The entire first half was back and forth. For the opening 40 minutes, the majority of possession was with Nandezia, with which they don't find themselves often having. New Sideburn was playing their usual "fast and pacy" play, which, Nandezia also like to play. But, both teams trying to let the other team have the ball doesn't work out well, and New Sideburn ended up winning the argument and getting to play their favored style of play, while Nandezia was forced to pass the ball around, and try and cross it to their three shorter forwards who couldn't seem to find a head to the ball.

The second half started out with more of the same. However, as the Nandezians began to tire, New Sideburn was still going strong. In the 70th minute, after a quick fastbreak that conceded a corner for New Sideburn, Cheney Rosewood was able to find some space after a poor clearance from the corner and put away the first goal of the game. After this, manager Clemente, trying to correct his mistake, withdrew Vipond for Aquino. Vipond was gasping for air once he reached the sideline.

Finally, the Cormorants began pressing out of their own half, and then it was a shooting gallery for New Sideburn the rest of the match. The tired Canaries could do nothing about it, and finally let another in in the 86th minute per Barry Kearney's boot.

The final score was 2-0, and the Tweeties left the stadium with their heads down. The Canaries landed back in Nandezia early this morning, and are preparing for their home match against Backyard Sports. This will be the first match that the national side has ever played in their home stadium. Clemente said that, "the support of the fans gives us everything. For our match in La Gomera, we will need everyone there possible. We are going to make a point that we are Nandezians, and we play Nandezian football. We will never, ever, give up, and we are absolutely 110% convinced as a unit that we will make it to the World Cup.

by **Andossa Se Mitrin Vega** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:51 am

OOC – I apologize for my lack of specifics on the new stadii details. My laptop crapped out and is in to be fixed. Hopefully I will have it back soon.

It was a beautiful and sunny day in Errion Vega as Cadye Tas’dyn looked out over what had become her hometown. Behind and below her the newly finished Ekartera’al se Fuborii Vegai thrummed with a pulse of its own created by nearly two hundred thousand fans- each already in a frenzy for the match that was to come. Stone and metal alike vibrated in unison and thunderous cheering and chanting echoed over the city. The Polarian group that had built the place had really captured the amphitheater effect that was designed to be heard all over the capital. And it was beautiful. The pale yellow marble seemed to float into the sky as the building twisted upward to the glorious stadium that was its crown. The polished mahogany and teak beautifully accented the stone and the imported grass of the pitch even gave off a bluish look.

But she could not afford to think of such things. The day’s opponent was unusual to say the least and would require some very canny play from the Sea Dragons. Xylovitus was quite literally a tree. A tree that could think and control it roots like arms or legs – but a tree nonetheless. With its roots moving forward and back primarily underground and all of them looking exactly alike, the home side would be hard pressed to control tempo and the ball. But at least the being played a defensive style even more dedicated than the Vegai.

Xylovitus had also been accused of cheating on several occasions by squads they had played. Watching the film it was impossible to tell. The Euran officials would have their hands full deciding what was legal or not from the walking chunk of firewood and also what was legal from the Vegai defenders. Surely you couldn’t trip an root. In a effort to ensure that the leafy player stayed honest in his play, two strong Dwarves from the Stonengarten Royal Battleragers had been positioned to either side of the Commune’s defending net. Their sharp axes were placed butt on the ground and leaned netward to allow the massive, razor sharp heads to be clearly seen. These dwarves were ready to chop into Xylovitus with minimal provocation form the overgrown bramble.

In the end, the worn and exhausted Sea Dragons would escape the match with a hard fought 1-0 win. Luckily they would not have to travel as the Lions of Mapletish would come calling in the next match. Despite the much higher rank and the contrasting styles at least they were human, and that meant the Sea Dragons knew how to hit them.

by **Barunia** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am

BaruniainSports.com.bu

Suns off to a flying start
By Kitty Smith

The 65th World Cup Qualifiers got up and running last night, with the Suns facing Mantwenic here at home. 70,000 fans filled United Stadium to see the game. The Suns looked good and Castolo had a shot off in the first miunte, but it went wide. There was a scary moment in the 19th minute when Silas Cromwell of Mantwenic had the first accurate shot on goal, but Mic Willans was up the task with a great save. There were plenty of shots on goal at both ends of the field, but most were wide and the goalkeepers were doing their jobs well. The result was that the scores were locked at half time, and after that as well.

With the clock ticking towards ninety, coach Wiggens made some substitutes, pulling Sagoro and Plant for Zokora and Yohan Marris. This was Marris first international appearance, and he was soon to prove his selection was justified. In the eight-third minute, Cedric St.John sent in a square cross to the box, which was met by Marris. The star forward for the Mariners made no mistake with the header, hammering it low and into the ground, proving impossible for Mantwenic keeper Matthew Barnes to stop. And Barunia were a goal up. There where some tense moments late in the game, especially when Lipscomb got off a shot at goal, but it went wide and the Barunians breathed a sigh of relief as the whistle blew, and we won our first game of qualifiers.

So now that the first games over, lets take a look at the other teams in our group. I was talking to Head Coach Stephen Wiggens before the match, an he told me that this is going to be a tough group for Barunia, almost as bad as the Cup of Harmony group. That tournament showed that Barunia does not have a good record against super-defensive team, such as United Gordonopia and old rival the Nenets Autonomous Okrug (who unfortunately pulled out of the tournament after initially signing up.) This time round we face a great number of defensive teams, such as the Glorious Commune, Free South Califas, Maklohi Vai, and of course Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.

That's right, last year's finalists and the current world number two are in our group. One of my colleagues commented that Barunia would be better off facing up against Audioslavia, and I have to agree with him. Coach Wiggens called ASMV the best defensive side in the world and said that it would be the ultimate test of Barunia's new style, designed to combat this poor performance against defensive sides.

So let's have a look at the group and games in detail. These are of course my predictions and opinions only.

Mantwenic
Our first opponent. It's been a while since they've qualified, but they still gave us some trouble last night. However, a clean sheet and a win for the Suns, and we should expect another.

German American States
Another team seeded below us, the G.A.S played in the 51st Baptism of Fire along with the Suns. They came last in their group however, and judging from a similar performance in the subsequent World Cup shouldn't be any threat. The Suns should be looking for two wins for the Suns.

Mizuyuki
A technical team that talks a lot about possession and formation, this is nethertheless their first foray into international football. It is unlikely that either of our two games will have a clean sheet, but Barunia should expect at least one win over this team, and will look for two.

TailsPrower
I have no information on this team at all, other than that they are another debutante. Two wins should be almost certain here.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
I think I've said everything I need to say about this team. Expect them to top the group and let practically nothing in all qualifiers. Realistically, its two losses for the Suns here.

Maplitesh
Maplitesh qualified for the first time last cycle, and look to be a team just growing on their potential. They play a similar formation style to the Suns too, with a changing five man midfield, and the two teams should find it hard to better each other. A draw is highly likely, and I have no idea who will win when these two sides do battle, so I will predict two draws.

Maklohi Vai
Facing these guys will b like facing off against another ASMV. Defensive and highly experienced, they should provide a tough challenge for the Suns, and we will do well to simply force a draw. But probably not twice, so a loss and a draw are to be expected.

Free South Califas
This country is famed more for their extreme socialist policies then for their football, but have been successful in previous tournaments, notably WC61 and 62 as I understand it. They seem to think they can beat Barunia twice, but I have faith the boys in blue can provide an upset. One loss, then a win at home.

The Glorious Commune
The Commune claim to have some sort of top secret experiment guaranteed to win them the World Cup. TBH, I think they're crazy if they think they can go from unranked to word champions in one season. Thy've already predicted wins over everyone in the group, but I say Barunia are going to give them a thrashing. No, make that two thrashings.

There's still plenty of football left to play, and its still far to early to tell what the Barunians fortunes will be. Can we get to the World Cup proper this time? Or suffer a humiliating defeat in the play-offs? I'll be writing an article every game, so be sure to check in.

by **The Inevitable Syndicate** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:33 am

Introduction:

The Inevitable Syndicate of Fligsive, Magnaeus and the Surrounding Kingdoms is a country that is seeped in culture and history, whilst retaining a slick and up to date grasp on the modern world. This Lonely Multiverse Guide is designed to be the ultimate travel companion for the average tourist to the Syndicate, and is jam packed with all the information you will need to get by happily.

History:
The Syndicate in it's current state was formed in the aftermath of a brutal and bloody civil war, The Unification War that took place between 1599- 1610. While this was not the time the Syndicate became a republic, it is an important part in the nations history, as it gave rise to the true Syndicatian attitudes expressed today. The Unification War began in 1599 when Magnaean Spies infilitrated the Fligsivi court and attempted an assassination on Queen Alice, the ruler of Fligsive. This sparked tensions from both sides of the River Sebald, and the two kingdoms went to war for the reclamation of the whole country. Many lives were lost, and many battles fought, but perhaps the most famous one is The Battle of Wozinitz Common.

This battle was held, as the name suggests, on Wozinitz Common in 1607. The Magnaeans had gone on the offensive, razing settlements left right and centre, and the Fligsivi were really down on the ropes. However, they managed to coax the Magnaean Army onto low ground, and the Fligsivi fired trebuchets with burning loads onto the enemy. This would be the start of Fligsive's turn on the attack, and this would continue for three years until the war ended.

The Unification War didn't end with one of the monarchs dying – it was in fact ended by peace treaty. Travelling merchant Thomas Browne was in the area during the Siege of Cardertower (1610), and fielded fake letters to both King Elliot and Queen Alice. They both took the bait, and accidentally met up with each other in secret during the siege. At this point, Browne urged them to look at what they had done, and put an end to the madness that had been the past decade.

The Syndicate then went though a period of great change – the kingdoms were unified, but the country wouldn't be a republic for the next 200 years. During this time, there was great reform in social policy, with the compassionate monarchs improving quality of life across the land. However, the rule of a particularly bad monarch, King Thomas III (often called The Last King), caused a revolution in which the system was scrapped in favour of a parliamentary democracy. Nathan Thackeray led the revolution, rallying the people to conspire against the king. While many were hanged for treason, Thackeray and his men marched right to the gates of Mountaincourt Palace, Magnaeus, and demanded an end to the King's insufferable rule. He then became the first Administrator of The Inevitable Syndicate. Under the rule of parliament, the Syndicate grew into the economic and social powerhouse it is today, creating and spreading a unique culture that would be welcomed across most of Atlantian Oceania.

Today, the Syndicate is an efficient, outstanding country, known for it's national health service, interest in outer space, slick business practice, and unique technology and culture. While it may have changed a lot since it's founding, the country will always strive to move onwards and upwards in the modern world.

by **Slembana** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:48 am

"We won, Jyvx."

"I know, Aaron. It's a great way to start World Cup 65 qualifying."

"What was the score?"

"We won 3-2."

"Against who?"

"Torisakia. They're ranked 211th in the World rankings."

"Who scored?"

"Val Kylx, Jyvx Dagens, and Oliver Maxwell."

"Who do we have next?"

"Lahoa. They are ranked 293rd."

"We should definitely win that game."

"Yup, we should. But we're Slembana. We have a history of fucking up against lower-ranked teams. And Lahoa somehow managed to beat Mashiki. I have no idea how the hell they managed to do that."

"True dat. Bye Jyvx."

"Bye Aaron."

by **Felix** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:50 am

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: Off To A Great Start!

By: Steven Smith

In a surpising debut in the World Cup Qualifiers, the 52nd Baptism of Fire second place finishers, Felixian team beats Alexanderburn by a score of 2-3. The game was closely contested as both teams fought for dominance. Felix, which is ranked 199th had a lot of ground to make up for and they did that. Our next oppenent is unranked Schalafania, which loss to 9th ranked Valladares 3-1. Mr. Cardona has previously stated that despite the unranked team his boys will face next he tells us that we should be cautious. Even the weakest team in the multiverse could beat us. Anyways, lets summerize the first match of the 65th World Cup Qualifiers.

The first half was a dogfight and Felix was losing it. In the 18th minute Felix conceded it's first goal this qualifying stage. The goal was out of a Felixan mistake as the Alexanderburns put great pressure on the Felixan defense causing the error and ultimately, the goal. 1-0 Alexanderburn. Ten minutes later Felix faced another loss, this time it was a midfield player that was fouled hard and the Alexanderburn player recived a red card for it. Manolo Espina from Sieberg was switched out and his prognosis looks bleak as he will most likely be out for 3 months with a torn hamstring injury. Former Santa Maria City star, Sebastian Krister (now in the Polar Islandstates league) replaced the injured Espina. Things got worse for Felix as another goal was scored by Alexanderburn in the 40th minute, the now 10 manned team was leading 2-0. Just before halftime was called Felix did a seemingly lightning attack on Alexanderburn and it caused a goal from Mikel Araboa from Santa Maria City. Felix ended the half behind by one goal, 2-1.

The great comeback for Felix begins in the second half, as Felix slowly turns the tide on the 10 man team of Alexanderburn. Sebastian Krister started out with the ball he ran towards the net he then crossed the ball to Yun Dong Lee and Lee passed it to Araboa, he was in the right corner of the goal box and skillfully moved out from the Alexanderburn defender and kicked the ball, it was deflected by the goalkeeper Lee quickly ran towards the ball and shot, goal! Its the 53rd minute and the score is 2-2 Felix, and the home crowd was silent in shock. The game kept going on and Felix kept applying pressure on the opposing defence. Another foul happened and Krister was the target, luckily for both teams no one got any changes (meaning no cards or injuries). Krister was up to kick the free kick. He looks at the wall and then the ball, he closes his eyes and runs up he crosses the ball right onto Araboa's head and the goal is made in the 75th minute. The whole Felixian team dogpiles on Araboa and then Krister. Felix has the lead now 2-3. Alexanderburn attempted to take back the game with some nice attempts but they were all blocked by our goalkeeper, Tyko. Finally the whistle is heard and Felix upsets Alexanderburn 2-3.

The post game match conference was jubilant as all players from the Felixan side were heard celebrating from their locker room. After 30 minutes Mr. Cardona walked out with Sebastian Krister, Lee and Araboa. They sat down and were ready to anwser questions. The first one was regaring the win and how that boosted morale for Felixan team after that heartbreaking loss to Aels in the Bapstism of Fire loss. Cardona spoke first, "I believe the win today gives us a hellva better morale than before, I mean, we were so close to a win and we let it go through our fingertips." After that Araboa spoke, "Uh, yes the win here today aganist a higher ranked team gives us a better feeling and a air of confidence for our upcoming match." Lee and Krister did not respond. The next question was on our next oppenent. All of them basically said, that they never heard of that team but they will be prepared for them. After another slew of question the conference was finshed and another batch of Felixan players anwsered the question.

We face unranked Schalafania next at their home and we won't be playing at Estadio Nacional till our third match, either way wish the boys good luck and may we win again and go Felix!

As always here were the statistics for our first qualifying match.

Goals
(18th): ALX Goal (ALX)
(40th): ALX Goal (ALX)
(45th): Mikel Araboa (FEL)
(53rd): Yun Dong Lee (FEL)
(75th): Mikel Araboa (FEL)
Assists
(75th): Sebastian Krister
Possession
ALX: 49%
FEL: 51%
Fouls
ALX: 14
FEL: 8
Cards
Yellow: N/A
Red: Alexanderburn Player
Injuries
Manolo Espina

Now here are the statistics for the qualifiers so far.

Goals
Mikel Araboa (2)
Yun Dong Lee (1)
Assists
Sebastian Krister (1)
Clean Sheets
N/A
Yellow Cards
N/A
Red Cards
N/A
Injury List
Manolo Espina (OUT FOR 3 MONTHS)

by **Aels** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:06 am

THE REPORT
Huw Price in Zwangzug

Aels impressive despite defeat

Zwangzug 1
Aels 0

LOOKING around the Aels changing room after the match, you would have been surprised if you expected a host of disappointed faces for there were none to be found. (Now behave, what did you think I was going to write?)

Mytanar-born head coach Sergyei Arefev was effusive in his praise for his side despite the narrow single-goal defeat to Zwangzug, with a Yuuki Nakano penalty the only thing separating the teams on the scoresheet.

"It would be silly to criticise anyone today. Everyone did fantastically well out there and it was a very unfortunate incident that led to the awarding of the spot kick.

"Was it handball? Yes, but was it intentional? Probably not, from our point of view. We won't dwell on it; our minds are all already focused on the next task at hand which will be to go to our next destination and play well."

Arefev was quizzed, too, about the mystery behind Aels' next opponents. An association calling themselves the "IOM Sports Association", representing an otherwise unknown nation, is set to host the Aelsh, but Arefev says it's likely he'll seek to play the match on neutral ground.

"We don't know anything about them, they're not a country as far as we know and merely an association fronting for a secretive state. We'll ask to play the game neutrally if we can, but we've done our homework and sent someone to watch their players in Starblaydia so we'll know how to set up for them regardless of whether we play them on neutral ground or in this country we don't even know exists."

Captain Elwyn Richard, also present at the post-match conference, said the Zwangzug match was now in the past to the team.

"We did really well and we'll gain confidence going forward, knowing we nearly took a point from that but we can't dwell on past successes or past failures. We're already training for the next match and we'll take that attitude through every match of this campaign."

He also confirmed rumours that have been circulating online that Aels will play neighbours Ancharmunn in a cross-border trophy friendly at some point during the qualifying campaign.

"It's been discussed between the FCA and NSB, and I've spoken to my counterpart on the Charmunnry team about it. As many people know, he's a good personal friend of mine, and is himself Aelsh-born so we're both expecting a fierce rivalry. But as with everything else, we'll take that match when we come to it. We'll of course play it with pride and treat it as a competitive match but that's still in the future."

Match ratings: J McConnell 7.5, R Jones 7.0, O Griffiths 7.0, I Maddox 7.5, S Andrews 7.5, C O'Connor 7.0, R Evans (vc) 8.0, A Jones 7.0, M Powell 7.5, B Thomas 7.5, E Richard (c) 7.5; Subs: I Thomas 7.0 (for R Jones), RW Davies 7.0 (for E Richard)
Bookings: None
Goals: None

by **The Royal Kingdom of Quebec** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:09 am

OOC: My RP for this edition will be 5/6 part series about Alex Zagarantis' journey back into soccer and eventually playing in the Grim Reapers. This is the Part 1.

Snowstorm Swept Through Montreal

12.15.2012.
Daniela Hudgens
The Friday Morning Royal Weather Service Weather forecast reported that approximately 67cms of snow were fell-during last 3 days. Even though it's norm for the nation's largest city to have a large accumulation of snow in this part of the year, this was rather unexpected.

The Snowstorm, which swept through the provinces of Frontenac,Outaouais/Ottawa and Abitibi-Temiscagne, has arrived in Montreal last Monday. Since then, it has stayed for several days and will do so, with heavy amounts of snow pouring and severely crippling the city and the lives of its 12 million people on the city and the Greater Montreal Area.
As the city's blue-collar workers were unable to keep up with the pace of accumulation in the snow and 2 local Divisions from the Royal Quebec Army were brought to clean up the mess. Despite this, it's most likely that the streets are going to be in gridlock for next 5 to 7 days.

Notes.
1.No Montreal Transit Commission(MTC) or Commuter Railway organisation Agence Métropolitaine de Transport(AMT) services are going to be cancelled, even though it's warned that there'll be 5 to 10 minute delays for some AMT services.
2. All schools in Montreal District School Board, Vanier District School Board and Montreal Catholic Board are scheduled to be closed for Monday.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a very cold day. Step by step, Alex Zagarantis carefully walked through the snow, as he tried to go to the bus stop about 3 blocks away. As have said in the Gazette Article, the extreme amount of snow accumulated in the area and the temperature made it difficult for him to walk. he did not own a car and even if he did, it won't be the best option to drive. So, he walked to the nearest bus stop, where he would catch 54 Bus that would carry him to Armidale subway station. Then, he has to take subway for 30 more minutes before arriving at Stade Saputo for pre-season training session. He, off from a spectacular Q-League season with 24 goals in 30 games, was hailed as the savior of Montreal Impact. The expectations were high and he didn't want to betray his fans. That's what made him look forward to the training.

It seemed as if things will go fine. However, a minute later, He accidentally slipped and fell, head first, into the ground. He quickly fell into unconsciousness and would not be found until about 30 minutes after, when a little kid, on his way to school, discovered him.......

by **Nouvel Ecosse** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:00 am

Fans poured out of the stadium, flags drooping, soaked and sullen in the Ecossian rain. It was the third defeat on the trot for the national side, a patriotic team just not reaching the standards expected against the higher ranked side of Liventia. The cars and taxis that clogged the street surrounding the national stadium spewed more grey smoke into the air, and it swirled with the clouds overhead, depressing those below. Inside the stadium, whilst the Liventia players celebrated their victories, the story was a lot different in the Nouvel Ecosse dressing room, where manager Norrie Stewart, in his now crumpled yet expensive black suit, simply let his players ponder their defeat. His assistant went to say something, but when the air momentarily left his lips almost the entire team sighed and looked in his general direction.

"Chin up, lads" Norrie began, a few of the wet faces craning round to meet his gaze. "We'll always have our bad days like today. We've got to just get ourselves together." A laugh emanated from the corner, where veteran and controversial centre-forward Ron McCash sat, casually removing his shin-pads from his legs. "Got something to say, Ron?"

"Na, sir, just found it funny"

"WHAT did you find funny?"

"The whole get ourselves together ideology. How can we get ourselves together when we have scum like those Edinburgh City folk playing for us?"

A chorus of jeers and arguments began, McCash's teammates attempting to shut him up whilst they were able to and the Edinburgh City players going on the attack. McFadden, now with Brinemouth, just rolled his eyes instead of getting involved, whilst the others kept their distance out of the squabbling.

"ENOUGH!" The entire dressing room shut up. "McCash, I'm sorry, but we can't have your polluted mind in our dressing room much longer, and neither can we have it on the pitch or the bench." Some of the Edinburgh City players began nodding their heads.

"Coach, if I can speak..." began David Gordon, a friendly goalkeeper who, although not great on the pitch, was well-regarded by the whole team.

"Go on..."replied Stewart.

"Well, its no sleight on any of the players here, but the previous season seems to have really driven a rift between some of them. I mean, guys, you know, we are all on the same team here, and there are certain people attempting to interrupt that harmony. I don't know why, but I noticed after the Nandezia game in the BoF, and I notice it now. And I have to say, a lot of that problem is because of Ron"

"You talk a lot of sense David. Ron, I'm sorry, but I just can't have you here. You are hereby removed from the World Cup squad, and it may be that you never play for Nouvel Ecosse again. For too long your behaviour has been far too disrespectful of both your fellow team-mates and also your country." Ron threw his shin pads at the wall, narrowly missing Norrie, before his fellow Endeavour Thistle players restrained him before the boots were thrown.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

RON MCCASH SENT HOME BY STEWART
By Arthur Journeaux

Veteran striker Ron McCash has been ejected from the World Cup squad for Nouvel Ecosse after a dressing room bust-up saw him fall-out with boss Norrie Stewart

Leandro Cardoza, who currently plays in the nation of Taijan, has been called up for international duty, and will replace McCash.

McCash, 32, reportedly criticised his fellow Edinburgh City teammates for being the fault of the loss, and after arguing with Norrie Stewart threw his shin-guards at the boss.

He was immediately told to return home.

by **Thatius** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:10 am

Intro & Part I

Part II: A Sweeping Goal

Thunder echoed across the Thatian National Stadium in Frederikstadt. Although the rain continued to pour in buckets, the stadium, sold out, roared as the Thatian National Team entered, displaying their famous black and white uniforms. For the first time since World Cup 64 Qualifying, the Thatian people would be able to witness a soccer match featuring the national team.

A few days previously Thatius had played the Princesses of Jeruselem in one of the most challenging matches in recent memory. The Princesses, ranked 32^nd in the world, faced in the Firebirds at home. Thatius, outside the Top 50 in the world at 52, was seeking another top ranked team win after a solid run at the previous qualifying round for the World Cup. However, the team came up somewhat short, drawing the Princesses 3-3. In the first half, Thatius fell behind 3-0, and residents turned off their televisions, appalled by the national team's performance. However, after halftime the Thatian team seemed to pull it together. Three goals scored by Marko Voloski were enough to put Thatius back in the game, each scored in the 67^th, 78^th, and 85^th minutes.

Excuses poured out of the media for the team's early falling behind, including how the team was "distracted" by the beauty of their opponents. Some players reportedly guffawed at several of the women, and lost concentration of the ball, giving possession back to the Princesses. A poor excuse, seeing as the women of Thatius are just as beautiful. Nonetheless, Thatius was playing one of the top teams in the world, and they were letting careless mistakes get the best of them. A slip on the pitch by Marcel Asarenko led to a foul called against Thatius. The rewarded kick setup the first goal for the Princesses, giving them an early lead. Although Thatius came back at the end of the match, it was still a disappointment to some but brought hope to others. The fact that Thatius could keep up with a top team in a friendly match was great news. However, it might foreshadow the fact that the Firebirds still don't have that extra factor to beat these top ranked teams that might lead to their first World Cup.

But nevermind that match now. The friendly was only a warm-up match, something to get both teams ready for the qualifying round. Now, Thatius would have to focus on eight other opponents who stood in their way to the World Cup.

Albaie would be the first victim.

John Łukosik, Thatius' backup sweeper, came prepared for the team's debut in World Cup 65. Kostas Stošović, who was injuring a pulled muscle, would be out of the first few matches of qualifying, and now it was time for John to take his place. The crowd cheered as each player's name was announced.

"JOHN!" shouted the stadium announcer.

"ŁUKOSIK" the crowd roared back.

This brought a warm feeling to John's body. He was ready to play. Pumped up and everything, this was going to be his day. Coach Max Djantschenko had placed him as back-up sweeper due to Kostas' experience in international tournaments. This was John's first international tournament of any kind, and he was not going to disappoint. As sweeper, he acted basically as the back-up captain. That was, of course, Jason Petković's job, but as the leader of the defense, he had to step up."

The rest of the lineup was announced in alphabetical order, ending with Marko Voloski, one of Thatius' star players. The captains shook hands and Albaie was to receive the ball first. Albaie, a nation relatively unknown to Thatians, was playing in its first World Cup Qualifying Event. They finished 2-1-2 in the most recent Baptism of Fire, and failed to make it to the ensuing rounds.

As the 281^st ranked team, Albaie most likely wouldn't cause too much trouble for the Firebirds, but as usual, one can't be too overconfident, a phrase continually preached by the team's coach. The irony was that the Firebirds aren't exactly the most elite team (for now...) so they shouldn't be overconfident in the first place.

In any case, John was prepared for this moment and seemingly, so was the rest of the team. Albaie's striker kicked off, but the ball was quickly stolen by Thatius' main striker, Marko Voloski. He kept possession of the ball for two minutes as the team spread out across Albaie's side of the field. Cooper Branham and Marcel Asarenko stood completely open, and Marko recognized this immediately. He passed the ball to Cooper who crossed it over to Marcel. Marcel saw the opportunity to shoot for a goal and SCORED!!!

The Thatian crowd, unacclimated to early points, jumped out of their seats. Thatius scored in the first four minutes of a World Cup Qualifying match! In the past, the Firebirds have been slow on offense, but thanks to new tactics, the Firebirds have become a more offensive minded team. All the players crowded around Marcel as he was lauded for the team's first goal of World Cup 65 Qualifying.

John gave his friend a slap on the back and proceeded back to his usual spot on the pitch, right in front of the defense. The match continued, with Thatius controlling most of the possession for the duration of the match. Albaie stood helpless as the athletic players from Brevik, Frederikstadt, Korcyka, Starfall, and elsewhere from Thatius continued to dominate. Thirty minutes later Marcel Asarenko scored again. Thatius now led 2-0 and halftime was just minutes away.

Suddenly Thatius was rewarded with a corner. Coach Djantschenko called for a push and so John and another defender and friend, Lukas Kyrlenko, rushed to the goal and stood in position for the corner. Tomislav Novaković, as the left-footed midfielder, elected to take the corner. He raised two fingers in the air, a signal for the play they were about to run. John recognized this immediately and moved to the spot to where he was assigned. However, Tomislav mis-kicked the ball and it headed right for John's head. John saw this opportunity and met the soccer ball with the top of his head, aiming for the back of the net.

GOAL!

The keeper from Albaie could not do anything against the header, and once more Thatius continued to increase it's lead, 3-0. John, never earning a goal for himself, felt proud. He had captured the third goal of the match for Thatius, and he had more than proved his worth. Hopefully Coach Djatschenko would recognize his performance on the pitch even as Kostas continued to nurse his injury.

"Great goal, John!" said his friends and fellow teammates.

"Glad you were able to improvise," laughed Tomislav as he pat John on the back.

"I saw it coming, but thanks for the assist," said John, shaking his hand.

Elsewhere across the world, World Cup Qualifying matches continued. John looked up on the board for a moment as he waited on the kickoff. Darmen, Turori, Bongo Johnson, and Stachland all won their matches. All four teams were ranked higher than their opponents, which meant that these teams had come ready to battle it out for a spot in the World Cup. Darmen, as the top-ranked team in the group, was the favorite. Thatius has faced Darmen several times before, including in a previous World Cup Qualifying, and the series stands tied at 2 wins and losses a piece.

Stachland and Thatius have also met one time before, but in the 51^st edition of the Cup of Harmony. The two ended up in a draw, therefore eliminating Thatius from the tournament altogether. The other six teams Thatius has never faced in association football. Atlantian Oceania regionmate Turori will cause the most trouble for the Firebirds outside the team from Darmen, but after a strong showing against the Princesses, keeping up with Top 30 teams might not be so difficult.

With just a few minutes remaining, Thatius was in the lead 3-0. They would close this one out with ease. Marcel Asarenko and John Lukosik would go home as heroes of the first day of qualifying. If they could continue the drive, they might just make the playoffs again. Another 10+ win run would be great for the Thatian program, which has strived for the past nine qualifications to enter the World Cup proper. The ninth time surely has to be lucky.

by **Zwangzug** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:16 pm

The Spenson Star
Minor scales

Just the first day of qualification, and Zwangzug were already at the penalty spot. Early in the second half at home against Aels, a handball by vistor Stephen Andrews gave Yuuki Nakano the chance to score what turned out to be the only goal of the game. The previous play had featured a tentative aerial shot from Kerry Tammany; replays were not decisive, but referee Jason Hopley quickly indicated that Andrews had made deliberate contact (after a moment's fuming from Nakano, although the notoriously quiet Tammany didn't seem to comment). Nakano steadied himself long enough to send the penalty to James McConnell's left, and then some, as Zwangzug held on for an otherwise quiet win.

Credit, of course, is due to our defense for handling the attacks of Aelsh leader Elwyn Richard, to say nothing of the one-time wunderkind Bryn Thomas. Specifically, Brett Chrowder was on form, although a sluggish Vipin Lamin did little to silence his doubters. [You know you can just give them numerical values to talk about how well they played, on a scale of 1 through 10? That's decimal 10. -ed]

Okay then? Chrowder's leadership earned him perhaps a 7.5; he was one of our better players on the pitch, though Tammany and Nakano were certainly on form. Lamin, having few chances to come up with the ball and pushing himself to few more, deserves little more than a 6.0, though obviously there are plenty of qualifiers for him to prove himself. Dima Novak was reliable but unspectacular, perhaps 7.0 material, while Jerzy McFetridge was eager to set up counterattacks. He, too, earns a 7.5, as the right side of the field was doing most of the work for Zwangzug today.

There we go. Is that better?

[I said on a scale of 1 to 10. -ed]

And that's exactly what I did! Do we see any -2s? Any unlucky 13s? No, because I followed directions.

[Yeah, but...where's the range? Would anyone ever get a 1 or a 10 by your metrics? -ed]

I don't know, I've just tried to look at how it's done. I mean technically I could award a 1, there've been cases when-- [Too soon. -ed]

Well what do you want?

[You to admit it's really more of a scale from 4 to 8 or so, isn't it? -ed]

It might be, but that doesn't roll off the tongue.

[Well, maybe we need to change things. For that matter, who said that you have to stick to half-point increments? We have an infinite range of values to choose from. -ed]

Yeah we're done here.

by **Svengarda** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:32 pm

This is a continuation of this RP

Another heavy snowfall had battered Stormskamer last night, and thus school was cancelled. Really helpful considering my 9Ms (end of school exams) are just a little matter of two weeks away.

So it was another day cooped up in my room pouring over biology and maths textbooks. The snow kept on falling throughout the day, so there'd be no chance of football today.

Dad was at work and mum had to go into town, so it was just me and the cat for 6 hours.

After about 4 hours of revision, I decided to leave my fortress of intelligence and take a stroll around the block. Just to clear the airwaves. It was around -10 degrees when I left out the back door, wrapped up warm in my favourite parka. All the cars that hadn't been moved were covered in a thick blanket of snow, and I casually ran my gloved hand along their roofs, causing the light fluffy snow to erupt into white clouds.

I decided to turn back after 10 minutes as the snow was falling heavier, rolling off the Svenga Passage, and it would stay here for a few days before departing. More revision at home I guess. As it walked up to the front door, my phone buzzed deep in jacket pocket, and I fumbled inside and reached it and turned it on.

Come down to the Klub, games on

Klara

It took me a few seconds to process what she meant, but it hit me. Svengarda vs Soviet New Ireland was just an hour away, and I'd totally forgot. I stumbled downstairs and grabbed a set of keys and shoved them into my pocket. I grabbed a hat from the credenza and dashed out the door, slamming it behind me and dashing through the front yard. The gate was ajar and I bundled through it, before skidding on the icy pavement and dashing off down the street.

Two and half hours later, I came out of the Klubhaus, accompanied by Klara to the vague cheers of the other girls of our Klub. It had been a victory, a decent start to the World Cup, but not that great. 1-0 against a team of nobodies. But hey, a win was a win, and things would only get better from here...

by **Sondstead** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:48 pm

World Cup 65: Sondstead opens qualifiers with draw in Quebec
1–1 draw in away game against Royal Kingdom of Quebec; Karimi scores dramatic goal

20 June 2013

_{Gamal Karimi seconds before scoring Sondstead's one goal of the night.}

St. John's, Royal Kingdom of Quebec — With the kickoff of the qualifying round of the 65th World Cup, Sondstead played the Royal Kingdom of Quebec's "Grim Reapers" to a draw last night in Montreal.

Against the extraordinarily offence-oriented team, Sondstead started the match in their characteristic 4-4-2 diamond, eschewing the 4-3-3 starting formation which won them a strong finish against several teams in the Baptism of Fire. Against the constant Quebecois offence, the Sondsteadish team started out doubling down on their defence, and fortunately it held up well, with star defender László Agócs keeping his cool throughout as usual. The aggressive Quebecois play however quickly payed off, with the team's captain, Thunderbolt Han, scoring the first goal of the game at 15 minutes in, prompting the Sondsteadish team to move their midfielders into a more defensive posture to hold off the assault.

Despite cold and rainy weather in St. John's, both teams, hailing from cold-weather countries, performed well even as the pitch became bogged down in mud. However, the mud slowed the Quebecois team's lightning offence later in the game. While the Sondsteadish team was also affected, the slower pace gave them a measure of breathing room entering the second half.

The Sondsteadish team reentered the pitch having benched a tired out Jen Weäldrberg in favour of Gamal Karimi, and attempted a slightly more offensive strategy in a rush to equalize the score. This resulted in an error on the part of Kalju Rummo, who was judged to have committed an offside offence after playing the ball, granting an indirect free kick to the Quebecois side. Young Quebecois forward Hong Chun Joo however kicked the ball into his own side's goal due to the strong winds on the pitch, granting Sondstead a corner kick. Gamal Karimi took the corner at 61 minutes in and kicked the ball with all his might. The strong winds again affected the course of the game, and the ball sailed straight into the Quebecois goal from 110 metres.

The wind continued to make play highly unpredictable, dashing prospects of additional goals for Kalju Rummo at 70 minutes, Riley Johnson at 74 minutes, and Osgar Sarman's last minute attempt at 86 minutes, and the game concluded with the score still at an even 1-1, to the disappointment of many fans on both sides of the stadium.

Tonight Sondstead will play another qualifier, hosting international football newcomer Narsora in Windstrand.

Comment or read more at www.srrsondsteadworld.org

by **Karditan** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:50 pm

"Well, would you look at that." Dust Pan gave the sheet the team was passing around a good look. "These anti-Sovans are using almost the same formation we did four cycles ago."

Carnac looked over nodded. "Huh, they are. What a hare-brained scheme that was. I was never meant to be a forward midfielder. Speaking of which, it's not overly similar; while 1-4-5 is uncommon enough a formation that any two teams who use it are similar, theirs is more of a rhombus between the forwards and the midfielders. We had a midfield diamond."

"I made my debut on the back end of that diamond. Man, that was a tough group." Dust scratched the back of his neck and looked up. "Who did we play, again? I know Bostopia won the group. They've disappeared over the last few cycles, though."

"So did the other two teams above us: Phoenguituza and Chenkorya, or however they're pronounced. Below us was Free South Califas, Northern Sunrise Islands, and Beaverriver, who have stuck around and seem to be doing decently. We probably could have qualified that cycle if Sucker hadn't insisted on such an inane formation."

Dust hoofed the paper down the bench and looked at the anti-Sovans, who were on-field and seemed to be doing some sort of prayer. "Yeah, these anti-Sovans are going to struggle with a formation like that. We pulled it off half-decently in our third cycle, but they're brand-new. Going to allow a lot of goals."

Carnac chuckled and patted the pony on the back. "Who knows, you might even score your first! Now get out there, looks like gametime is coming up."

[Fast Forward: ~15 Minutes]

Carnac threw his hands in the air and screamed at Richard Bunson, who was currently the only player other than the anti-Sovan keeper in the Sovan half. "What the hell, Dick? Get back!"

Richard simply flipped his defensive coach off.

Meanwhile, in the Karditani half, shitshitshitshitshit was all Dust could think as he chased after 36300. Since when can humans run this fast?! There were anti-Sovans swarming all over them, 10 nameless, faceless, and confusing numbered bodies passing the ball around the eight Karditanis trying to sort this mess out. Dust had noticed 36300 all alone on the wing, and knew it wouldn't be long until whoever had the ball notices. Three seconds later, the pass came, and there was nothing Dust could do but charge in for the potential rebound. But there was no rebound. 36300 launched a bullet just over Emanuel Portico's outstretched arm.

sorry to cut it off short, gotta go

by **Audioslavia** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:03 pm

Jon sighed, rapped a phillips screwdriver angrily on the lid of what would have been an ice machine had it the decency to produce some fucking ice, and shouted over his shoulder.
"Joder, que'd ye kyere?"
"Sorry, Jon, its the boss, he needs you. He needs all of us". Jon turned to see he was addressing Mahri, the young room attendant whom he used to have a small crush on, and would still have if only he hadn't made the rookie mistake of having already had sex with her.
"I'm occupa'd, thes joder machin no'isnae va fix itsel'" said Jon, with a knowing smile. He liked to speak in pure 'Cieling' occasionally. He used to fondly imagine that he did it to annoy and confuse, but had come to realise he probably just wanted to utilise the one aspect of his that was 'other' in comparison to what was a largely international and multicultural staff and customer base. He used to think speaking in Cieling made him sound exotic and mysterious. He'd learned quickly it simply made him look like an arse. Old habits, though..
"Jon, how many times, you aren't in Ciele anymore, no-one understands that stupid 'language'"
"I said 'am fixin' this fuckin' machine, beizjes"
"This is important. Kiryu-Shi are here"
"What? A whael countreh?"
"No. The football team. They're playing Audioslavia tomorrow night. The team are here"
"Av nae heard any'hin boot this" said Jon, sighing, "hope they no wantin' ice wi'their dranks"
"That's probably the least of our worries"

Jon and Mahri made their way out of the kitchen via the back way, thus avoiding the hotel's lobby where they may have had to deal with a customer or tourist, or some tall athletic Kiryu-Shi player who might be wondering why they're in the wrong hotel.

They were undoubedly in the wrong hotel. If an entire football team, plus staff, were staying in the old Weelderig Hotel, he'd surely have heard about it. He'd have been called in forty minutes early for starters.

"You took your time" said a voice in the staff-room, as Jon and Carl approached from the corridor. The owner of the voice was certainly Claus, the hotel's manager, the man who answered to no-one but the obese oil oligarch that actually owned the place - a man who could be seen for twenty minutes, once a week, doctoring receipts, counting money, adding his own, and heading to the bank in an obvious display of classical money laundering that the hotel's staff were paid handsomely to ignore. From what Jon could make out, the owner had never put any money into the place in terms of trying to make the place busy and successful, and had expected - maybe even wanted - it to lay empty for most of the time. His mistake was in hiring Claus, a proud and resourceful manager who, with a meagre budget, nevertheless had kept the place breaking even. This was supposed to be the post-season malaise, a point where most rooms would lay dormant and Jon's job, as a barman on a dry island (alcohol having been banned four years previous), mainly consisted of fixing things that didn't work, filling cryptic crosswords and playing chess with Mark, the janitor. Current score: 154 - 66 in Jon's favour.

"Got here as quick as I could, boss" said Jon, resolving to formalise his Anglish to the extent that he could actually be understood by the man who'd been known to fire people for so much as speaking a few words in their native tongue. The Weelderig was a one-language institution, even if that language was Anglish on an island that tended to favour Nordish.
"You know who's here?" said Claus, cutting to the chase.
"Kiryu-Shi, apparently" said Jon. "Care to tell me why? We've never had a booking like this. Visiting football teams usually use the Old Gill.
"Might be difficult, now. Old Gill burned down last night"
"What?"
"You hadn't heard?" asked Claus with a frown
"You hadn't seen?" said Mahri, "you walk past it on your way to work. It's just down the road"
"Uh, didn't come to work that way today" said Jon, trying to pass it off as something normal. He'd come to work from a different house, one that had contained a variety of illicit drugs and a pair of breasts. In the summer he'd have considered buying a shirt, a pair of trousers and/or or can of strong deodorant on his way to work, in an attempt to mask the smell of stale sweat and smoke, but he could traditionally go a full eight-hour mid-autumn shift without speaking to more of a handful of people,. and never having to get within smelling distance of them. Here, in a room with five other people - Claus, Mahri, Tomek the chef, Claudia the receptionist and Omar the porter - he regretted his decision not to at least shower. The thick crud at the bottom of the shower at this 'house' he'd spent the night at had put him off the idea.
"Insurance job" said Tomek, nodding sagely.
"Whatever it is, we've got a full hotel tonight. This might be a regular occurance, too, if the FFA keeps recommending us to visitng sports teams. I'll keep you posted for next time, for now, though, I'm going to the cash and carry for more food, and..."
Jon stopped listening. He didn't need Claus to tell him that his job would be to top up sparkling mineral water and serve plates of pasta and fish to people who probably didn't speak one of his languages and almost certainly didn't speak the other. Instead, he thought about his brother.

---

Mozi slung the bag of footballs around his shoulder and traipsed back to the dressing room where, upon opening the door, he saw Audioslavia manager Israel Klimt going through his selection and the intricacies of his tactics for the upcoming game against Kiryu-Shi. Mozi quietly dropped the bag in the corner and stood, back against the wall, arms folded, in a position that he'd seen assistant managers assume during his own days as a player. He didn't need to listen to Israel's team-talk, knowing full well what the boss was saying having had the same conversation with him earlier. He heard snippets of the same words he'd said in that conversation, relayed verbatim, to the team, and wondered again at how much work Israel Klimt actually did in his role. Two conversations with former assitant manager David Radic (now full manager at the Falconwhereveryouare national team) had hinted that, over the course of their eight-year tenure together, it had been David's work behind the scenes that had been the cause of a lot of Audioslavia's footballing success. David hadn't sounded bitter at all, and seemed to actually prefer that Israel Klimt won the plaudits as long as the old Jewish manager continued to take the full blame for the bad results. Indeed, Israel had gracefully taken all the flak for the failure to beat Legalese in their friendly, despite the young Mozi having had a big hand in the team selection and tactics, and had done the same when a poor performance had seen the national team booted out of the AOCAF Cup by The Inevitable Syndicate - a match where David Radic had made, as he had hinted, the majority of the tactical decisions.

Mozi wondered how much of Israel Klimt's record haul of two world cups and one AOCAF cup had actually been down to the understated and thoughtful David, rather than the authoritative and inspirational oratory skills of the boss. He hadn't reached a conclusion by the time his phone rang in his pocket, drawing a look of disapproval from Klimt, who had been cut short mid-sentence.
"Go take it outside" said Israel, an order that Mozi had already taken. He closed the door carefully behind him, looked down at his phone, and saw a familiar name.
"Jon, brother, not a great time, can I call you back"
"Estas mis a trainin'?" said the voice on the other end of the satellite (a woefully inefficient way of communicating a signal four miles from the training ground to the hotel that his brother worked at).
"In Anglish, you know I never bothered with Cieling"
"Shu'eritage" said Jon. Mozi didn't reply, blinking instead as the glare of a ray of mid-afternoon sun broke down through the clouds and hit him square in the eye. "Shu'eritage brumano"
"What?"
An audible sigh.
"It's your heritage. Chrit are you deef as well as daft?"
"Whatever. Yes, I'm at training, just finishing up, so this will have to wait"
"It cannae wait. No if youse just aboot tae leave" said Jon, "summans come up. Summan that concerns yoo"
"What is it?"
"Kirry-Ooshi are here"
"You mean Kiryu-Shi, and.... what, why? Why didn't you tell me this?"
"Didn't know masel until just noo, and why wud a huf tae tell yoo?"
"Because... jesus Jon, because its an interest"
"Come again?"
"Because you have to declare an interest. *I* have to declare an interest. You can't well hang around the table at our biggest rivals in the group and overhear their conversations, no team would want that. You have to tell your boss that you can't have national teams stay over at your hotel, not while you're working anyway"
"Funny" said Jon, "Awus 'hinkin' tha'ad be exactly wh'ad do. Yoo no wantin' to be kept in tha loop wi' yer opposition's tic-tacs?"
"No, jesus, the mere thought of the... the... what the papers would do if they found out.."
"They'll no foond oot"
"Aye, because you're Mr. Careful, aye" said Mozi, screwing up his face. "You're stil 'jodering' that junkie aren't you?"
"Naw" said Jon, not caring whether it sounded obvious that he was lying, "no seen her in weeks".
"Aye, of course not. Anyway, do not tell me anything about them, you understand? And tell your manager that, as someone with such a motive, with a connection to me... jesus Jon even if you don't relay information on our opponents to me, all it'd take is someone making the connection and we'd both be out of a job. Well, I would anyway, and I'd have the press on my back for the rest of my career"
"Ah... Alvaro, youse just a stickinnamud"
"And don't bring up 9-0" said Mozi, wincing at the use of his first name. He usually didn't mind it - and actually preferred 'Alvaro' to the use of 'Mozi', his nickname, in certain situations - but his brother had always called him Mozi, and as such he felt odd when his brother opted for his first name, as if he was taking the piss or something.
"What you mean, 'nine-nil'?" asked Jon, sounding confused. Mozi sighed and put his hand on his forehead.
"Nine-nil. The score last time Audioslavia played Kiryu-Shi. Semi-finals of the AOCAF Cup. Audioslavia nine, Kiryu-Shi nil. Embarassing for both teams, really, but I imagine it still rankles for them.
"HAH' guffawed Jon, "oh man, I'm gonnae have fun the night... see you round, brumano"
"No, no Jon, don't..."
Mozi looked down at his phone, saw his brother had ended the call, and then cursed himself, his phone and his brother. The last thing he needed was a young, brash Audioslavian ned ribbing his next opponents. He wanted a docile, defensive Kiryu-Shi, not a side riled up and hell-bent on revenge.

---

Jon sidled round to his side of the bar and greeted the two Kiryu-Shi suits that stood at it, expectantly.
"What can I do for you gents?" he asked, "spritzer? lemonade? cola? as you can see from our plentiful bar..." Jon waved a theatrical hand in the direction of the back-bar, on which stood bottles of Syndicatian Burdock, Iron Brew, Ginger Beer and various types of posh, alcohol-free beverages, "...you have e-neuf to chose from".
Jon chuckled to himself as the two suits looked around. Both looked a little confused.
"Perhaps you're looking for something alcoholic?" asked Jon. The suits lit up at the use of the word 'alcohol'. It was apparent they didn't speak much anglish, but were trying.
"Something like... ten-cane rum?"
Another nod from the suits.
"We used to have ten-cane rum, back in the day. Well, it was one less than ten-cane rum. What was it called, again... anyway... I'm afraid, as you're apparently unaware, we can't sell alcohol I'm afraid"
The suits looked confused. An extra suit popped up behind the two at the bar and whispered something into their ears, most likely information about prohibition and how Kjeligsted isle was a dry state. The suits looked disappointed.
"We can't sell alcohol, I'm afraid" said Jon, "and while the law stays in place, we'll nueve be allowed to sell it."
More looks of disappointment.
"Yes, everything we sell is non-alcoholic"
Now it was Jon's turn to look disappointed. He'd hoped he'd at least gotten through to the suits' subconscious with two of his dreadful puns, and figured that 'non-alcoholic' was almost definitely too subtle.
Eventually, three glasses of Dandelion and Burdock were poured for the three gentlemen, each with ice, an umbrella and, cheekily, a small stirrer. A stirrer to mix a mixer with the rest of the mixer. Jon had never gotten tired of that one.
He felt his pocket vibrate. He left it there. He knew it'd be his brother. He'd texted his brother the supposed 'good news' regarding a certain conversation with his boss. He had, as Mozi had implored, told his boss about his 'interest' in having the hotel be used as digs for travelling football sides, and for the possible security breach that would make visiting teams feel uneasy if they got wind of it. Claud had simply laughed, told Jon he wasn't getting to stay at home whenever a football team arrived, and told him, in no uncertain terms, that the hotel would be used by football teams for as long as Claud wanted, meaning 'for was long as its profitable and makes me look good on my CV".
Jon, having finished passive-aggressively terrorising the foreign suits, reckoned another conversation with his brother, face to face, might get Mozi to see sense. This was an opportunity, not a threat.

If anything, if Audioslavia lose a couple of matches and Mozi's job is under threat, Jon knew that his phone would be the first port of call for a desperate Mozi. He might even be able to get some money out of it, too. Now there was a thought.

by **Sandwich Territories** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:21 pm

SBC FOOTBALL NEWS

The Royals, or the Sandwich Territories FA club, played their first match against Kericia today at The Rotunda, after flying back to Old Crustville. All in all, the lads were able to pull out a victory against their opponents, with a final score of 3-2.

GOALS

Sandwich Territories

13' Banks
42' Havalotti
73' Ferdinand

Kericia

25' #11
61' #10

Note: No roster was given by Kericia.

The Royals look forward to their next match against Luzvimindia, as the away side.

by **Darmen** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:48 pm

Georges Thomas had been amazed by the size of the Ministry of Sport. Now that the tour was almost finished, he finally realized that the tiny portion he had seen in his previous visits was only a fraction of what was housed in the massive multi-story building. In fact, he noticed for the first time that the Ministry building was among the tallest, even taller than the one which housed the Prime Ministers office.

"What do I do if I get lost?" he asked the civil servant who had been showing him around the building.

"There are directories posted next to all stairwell entrances and elevators, not to mention you'll have a map located somewhere in your own office. I'm sorry we didn't get to show it to you today, but like I said, the current Minister is really busy, World Cup and all."

"Yeah, must be difficult."

The elevator stopped descending, and the two men stepped out onto the main floor. The lobby was filled with civil servants scurrying about. Thomas even had to avoid being hit by a pitch, as the national Baseball team were playing just in front of the main desks. According to his tour guide, this was normal.

Thomas entered the safety of the outside, and breathed in the fresh air. His tour had taken over eight hours, and the cloudy skies and still air had made him drowsy. But when the 120 degrees of Darmeni tropical heat hit his face, he woke up instantly. He began to walk towards the Ministry of the Executive, he had an appointment with the Prime Minister he had to attend to.

* * *

"I have to appoint who?"

"Our delegate to the Commonwealth Trade Summit. It's already a month behind schedule, lets not delay it any more. Just send your Minister of Trade or somebody."

"Alright," answered the Prime Minister, as he picked up the phone. "Yes, listen Sally, just call Johnston... yeah, Harold Johnston, the Ministry of Trade. Tell him I'm sending him to the Commonwealth Trade Summit. What... just tell him that I'll see him tomorrow before the Session. And NO! I am a happily married man, thank you very much!"

"You need to let her go, she's a distraction."

"But she's the best secretary I've ever had, even if she is pretty ugly."

"Are you saying tha..."

"I'm not saying anything. Don't you have something better to do than hang out in my office all day? You're the bloody Duke of Darmen, you must have something?"

"I'm leaving," said the Duke as he turned around to leave. He stopped however when he saw Thomas. "Sorry you had to hear that," said the Duke.

"No problem, Your Majesty," said Thomas as he bowed.

"Oh, I really wish people would stop bowing to me, it's really annoying!" said the Duke as he stormed out of the office. Thomas was stunned, and looked to the Prime Minister for some sort of an answer.

"He's just like the Pope. Into office, out with tradition."

"I take it you two don't like each other much?"

"Ever since the trade summit in Saldon, he's been a pain everywhere in my body, not just my..." started the Prime Minister before being interrupted by a man popping out of the fire place.

"Holy Margaret!" yelled Thomas, "I'll never get used to that."

The man apologized to Thomas, before exiting the office.

"Wait a minute Johnston!" yelled the Prime Minister, trying to get the attention of the Trade Minister.

"Yeah, what‽" yelled Johnston back.

"Yikes, just wanted to know if you got the call from Sally."

"Yes, yes I did. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go explain to her in depth that my wife owns several AK-47's, and knows how to use them."

The Prime Minister turned to Thomas. "Gotta love it here, chaos is guaranteed. Now, what were we going to discuss?"

"Physical Education in schools," replied Thomas.

"Oh yes, sit down. I quite like the idea of teaching our kids to throw grenades instead of baseballs..."

by **Ossidiacqua** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:07 pm

Miserabili: The musical of the Acquan World Cup 65 qualification saga
And yes, that is an excuse to visualise Grand High Cardinal Giocomo Re as Idris Elba in a Pope Hat

SCENE ONE:
The training ground. In the absence of both coaches, captain Ricardo Velasquez is attempting to lead the training session.

[PLAYERS]
Look round, look round,
Look for the man in space.
Look down, look down,
Kick through it with your lace.
[UGUCCIONE]
How long, til lunch?
Breakfast was long ago.
[VELASQUEZ]
Run round, run round,
There's half an hour to go
[FISICHELLA]
I got, the ball!
I never touched the player!
[VELASQUEZ]
Calm down, calm down,
Less tackling, more flair.
[AULENTI]
I'll score, three goals,
I'll be a superstar!
[VELASQUEZ]
Run round, run round,
Keep going and you'll go far.
[FINIGUERRA]
When I break free, you won't catch me,
I'll beat the trap!
[PLAYERS]
Look round, look round,
Let's get the passing tight.
[VELASQUEZ]
How long, my word,
Until you get it right?
[PLAYERS]
Run round, run round,
He'll keep us here all night.
Run round, run round,
Until we get it right...
[VELASQUEZ]
Now come here, Luciano Garlascherri,
You made your debut,
Your international career's begun
You know what that means.
[GARLASCHELLI]
Yes, it means I've made it!
[VELASQUEZ]
No!
Your test begins,
You let the other team score,
You've a lot to learn.
[GARLASCHELLI]
I made a small mistake.
[VELASQUEZ]
You gave away a goal.
[GARLASCHELLI]
I slipped on the turf.
I tried to split the defence with a long pass,
And I lost my footing.
[VELASQUEZ]
You will make more,
But you can learn from them with help, I'm sure.
[GARLASCHELLI]
I know the meaning of wearing that badge
An Acquan, proud and true
[VELASQUEZ]
It's true that heart is in the right place,
While I'm charge and I'll try to run us well.
Yes, you'll be just fine.
[GARLASCHELLI]
My name is Garlaschelli.
[VELASQUEZ]
...I know it is.
I won't forget your name!
You can rely on me,
Luciano Garlaschelli.
[PLAYERS]
March on, march on,
Even without our coaches.
March on, march on,
Our campaign approaches...

World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

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