World Cup 96 - Roleplay Thread

[Tanirinthia]

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OF FATES AND FORTUNES
Chapter Four - How deep the Rabbit Hole goes

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As she stepped out in her living room freshly showered, the mess of her flat was amplified by her own cleanliness, she heard her mother's voice ringing out in her ears "Clear place, clear mind" and although she would never tell her, sometimes it was true. Once the various bio-hazards had been contained, she sat back at her desk with clear purpose. With the needles now crystallised into thirty examples, she could now delve deeply into each one. First thing she noted is it appeared a different charity each time, all somewhere doing missions in the middle of nowhere, all with squeaky clean digital presences. Far too squeaky clean, but really top to bottom coverage meaning either government or, no she though there is no or, these records go back twelve years only the government would have the resources for an operation like this.

Upon this realisation, she double checked all her safeguards, if she was prying into something government related she couldn't afford to take any chances. Once satisfied she was obscured enough, she continued looking into these events. Firstly despite using the biggest stadium in Tanirinthia these matches were not televised, she searched on social media for any pictures/videos of the matches finding some but not as much as you would expect for events that over 70,000 people are going to. Having looked at some she seemed to notice a pattern, in each of the matches she could find footage of there are parts of the crowd that have groupings of people all wearing the same colours/outfits as the charity team on the pitch. She checked against all known kits in Tanirinthia and could not find any matches, odd that there would be supporting the charity team in such numbers and co-ordination, she could find no social media in the lead up to the events where the charity had engaged online and organised this, as if these people had all spontaneously woken up the morning of the match and happened to chose to wear the same as the charity team.

Something is up, but she was at a dead end digitally she was going to need to take this IRL, perhaps look into the hotels or the police deployments, the power stations or as luck would have it, there was a match that met the parameters coming up this very week, some supposed charity to support the plight if the Artic Foxes. Ticket bought all she could do is wait till matchday and see where on earth this led her.

[Polar Islandstates]

The radio whistled and popped as it tried to find the right frequency, screeching it's horrific wail of digital ones and zeroes into the sleeping ranks of houses on the outskirts of Marylebone, the Fallenmark capital.

"Try over there," suggested the older of the active pair, gesticulating at the opposite parapet.

The younger man went to grumble but bit his tongue and ultimately kept his thoughts to himself as he dragged the little table from one side of the roof terrace to the other for the benefit of his grandfather.

The gesture worked, and a smile broke over the face of the man between the pair as he heard the words he was hoping to hear.

"...and is passed forwards for Niemi, but his touch i-"

"Ah! Young Emmanuele," interrupted the old man, clasping his hands in front of his unseeing eyes, "he always was the hardest working player of the bunch. Real star quality."

"So you've said, Grandad," said the elder of the pair, "hopefully the connection holds this time, and you get to hear the rest of the game."

"Does this really help?" muttered the youngest on the rooftop to his elder brother, put of their grandfather's earshot.

"Mum says it does," shrugged the elder, "and you know what she said - whatever we can do whilst she's away to keep his mind ticking over..."

"I suppose." Sniffed the younger, "except that we're doing it in vain if he catches a cold that finishes him off up here."

"Oh, shut up. That's no way to talk about your grandfather."

"What? I'm just saying..."

"Yeah, and Mum would pitch you over that parapet if she heard you."

The younger held his tongue again and opted for a silence he hoped conveyed his opposition to the plan, even as his scepticism softened.

"...and Niemi roses highest... Oh but his header is just over the bar..."

"Ah!" Exclaimed the old man. "Real star quality."

"Suppose we're lucky, really," said the elder, quietly.

"That he's still with us?" Quizzed the younger.

"That the Niemi kid turned out to be this good," the elder explained, "of all the kids Grandad goes on about, one turned out actually to have 'real star quality' and ended up on television."

"Until the government shit it," spat the younger, contempt returning to his voice instantly. The elder made a face in return. "What?"

"Well, it's just I don't think you can blame the government for that. Think it's possible that mob in Franz Josef City had more to do with it than our own particular mob."

"Mm. Maybe. I thought they were always after influencing this part of the world, mind. The VU's all a joke to them, right?"

"I don't know, Jeffers; all I-"

"Don't call me that."

"Fine. Well. I was just saying, remember that youth tournament?"

"The one Grandad watched the entirety of?"

"When he was awake."

"Sure."

"Well, they stopped showing the Terns on television when this kid was playing."

"After those hand signals, that's right. Shame, really."

"Aye. He's never lit up like he did when he could watch on television."

"All those local kids he remembers, and not one of them amounted to anything?"

"Not one," grumbled the elder, "I've checked, trust me. Not a youth appearance for a Tier V team between them."

"Not even, ah, what was he called..."

"Rauno Mossop?"

"That was it. He was a 'real star quality' kid like Niemi, right?"

"Window fitter in St Denys. I tracked him down. Why else do you think we're clinging to the rooftop in the middle of the night, trying to pick up the faintest hint of a digital signal from Islay in order to try and fend off our grandfather's dementia? We aren't doing this because we have a choice, Jeffers..."

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry."

"Maybe you're right."

"I just wish we could have got another few seasons out of him before he got himself on the naughty list." Said the elder, grimly. "It might have prolonged the inevitable for a bit longer."

"Well, don't get too excited, but I heard he's just moved to the SFL... SPLF... Something in Farfadillis, anyway."

"Farfadillis, really?"

The younger nodded in response, arms folded, watching his grandfather strain against the noise of a passing truck to keep track with what was happening in the game, or, more likely; trying to pick out another mention of Niemi.

"Do we get that?"

"I bet Mum doesn't. Not yet, anyway. She'll be after us for satellite packages as soon as she hears, though."

"Well? Doesn't your old Daphne work for one of them these days?"

"Urgh, I mean..." The younger rolled his eyes at the thought of having to ask his ex for a favour.

"C'mon, Jeffers, he'd have done it for you..."

"Don't call me th... Yeh. Okay."

The two stared on with expressions somewhere between sadness, hope, and acceptance - knowing that what was gone was already gone, and that all they could do was stubbornly attempt to march against the steady beat of time. Two brave foot soldiers, attempting to dam the temporal stream whilst Emmanuele Niemi toiled on a foreign football pitch, blissfully unaware of his part to play in the pantomime.

Their grandfather continued to kick every ball, so long as Niemi was being mentioned, and the younger of the two brothers was sent downstairs for blankets and hot coffee. It was going to be a long night, and the digital radio whirled and danced it's protests against the work it was being asked to do. Not that anybody was listening to it's plight. Just one more household whose lives were inextricably linked to the growing storm that was developing in Franz Josef City.

*

Out in the bay, across the other side of the city to our stricken trio, a Polarian battleship was sitting at anchor making a mockery of their communication capabilities. After his latest miss, a whirling can of half drunk Grogg hit the image of a despairing Niemi plumb between the eyes.

He was blissfully unaware of this as well, of course, but it wouldn't be long until he got the gist of it.

[Bears Armed]

In the city of Council Groves, in the offices of magazine 'Football World'_

"So, presumably we are going to publish a special issue about the Bear-Belles at some point in between the two halves of the qualifying process, as usual?"

"Ayyuh, of course."

"Detailed match rreports for their qualifying games so far, mini-biographies of players and key staff members with updates for any significant changes since the special issue from before the qualifiers started, pundits' analysis of how well they're doing so far and forecasts about how well they hrreasonably can be expected to manage in the second half of the process? Hwhat else?"

"A listing of all the players' favourite dishes, with their explanations for those choices, maybeso? There's precedent for that, from years ago, an article in 'The Bear Necessities', for true..."

"After you'd mentioned that to me earlier I had an archive search run. They also published articles about those days' Belles' preferred breakfasts in particular, as well as their favourite dishes overall, and their favourite flavours of ice-cream, and favourite musics, and hwhat pets -- if any -- they had... How far along those lines do we want to go, how much of the issue do you think we could get away with using for that sort of interesting trivia?"

"Ur'rmm, I'd like to think further about the matter before giving you my answer. CanI have a few more days to consider it?"

"Well, hokay, I guess so. We'll have a few months to prepare that 'special', after all."

(OOC note: Several of the past articles listed here actually did feature in my RP from previous World Cup cycles, but that was years ago even in RL...)

[Kamijiro]

Lightning Win Following Bye, Slide Up to Third.

The Lightning have won their second match of the qualifying round, eking out a 1-0 win against the Socialist Republic of Lower Tranmere. It was a match that, admittedly, the Kamijiroans should have won by... a lot more. Although we're not entirely sure who was in net for the Tranmere side, we do know he seemed to have a force field around the goal. They kept just about everything out, except for the first shot of the game - a chip shot over the onrushing goalkeeper, who nearly got fingers to it, but was unable to get the ball away from net. It was a first-ever goal at the national level for Katsuaki Fujiwara - and he showboated the hell out of it. It takes some audacity to try a chip from where he did, and even more audacity to not even watch it go in. He had already turned around when it crossed the line. After that, the game was... oddly fast. Half-time was a quick affair, and the usually rowdy Kamijiroans were oddly quiet in the stands. I guess that's what happens when you play against a team which has no namable players, nor a head coach. The Lightning piled up the shots, kept possession, and defended well. But again, the Tranmere keeper just didn't let himself get beat after the Fujiwara goal. In other news, the Kamijiroan Premier League has officially re-launched, with players on the national team playing in their first matches for their new clubs. Those results can be found here.

Matchday Six:
Kamijiro 1-0 The Socialist Republic of Lower Tranmere

Events:
GOAL 7'     | (KJR 1-0 TRA) - K. Fujiwara, assisted by P. Seraphin
-- HALFTIME --
Yellow 81'  | (KJR) Time-wasting - L. Faamate
-- FULLTIME --

-- 

Fun facts about this campaign from the Kamijiroans thus far:
- There has still yet to be a repeat scorer, with all four goals scored through five matches being scored by different players.
- Phillippe Seraphin leads the team in goal contributions, with two. (1G, 1A)
- Since the fight against Baggieland, the team has noticeably improved their behavior, only picking up one card in the two matches since.
- The Lightning sit just four points off of first place currently, with quite a bit of time left.

Article written by Eijiro Tabuse of Raijin-shi Reporters Tribunal.
Edited by Natsuki Watanabe of Raijin-shi Reporters Tribunal.

[Tikariot]

OOC Disclaimer: Content warning - this true crime series may contain imagery (no actual images, just words) that some people may find disconcerting. Reader discretion is advised.

Good evening Tikariot, welcome back to The Tikariot Files, where we look at some of Tikariot's most outrageous, brutal, mysterious criminal cases the nation has to offer - all of them unsolved.

The picture cuts to the logo of the show while images of prison cells, blood spatter and other crime-related footage is shown in the background, with a lone, sombre piano melody playing.

Today's episode leads us into the province of Saburnia, known as "Tikariot's Bread Basket" or "Tikariot's Pantry" due to its rich, fertile soil and rich agricultural heritage. Here, amidst seemingly endless fields of wheat and barley, lies Ilmercess, which is the home to the annual Festival of Shadows, taking place in late October, so close to Halloween. Every year, the townsfolk and visitors from across the province and beyond travel to Ilmarcess for this eclectic mix of traditions, performances and culinary explorations.

The centrepiece of the carnival is an attraction that definitely stands out from the usual rides and fares, a macabre masterpiece known as the "Bone Carousel." Constructed many decades ago, the Bone Carousel is a sight to behold, its skeletal structure looming over the festival grounds like a relic from a bygone era. Carved from wood and painted to resemble aged bones, the carousel features intricately designed seats shaped like rib cages, skulls, and other skeletal elements. Its eerie charm draws both fascination and trepidation from festival-goers, becoming a hallmark of the event.

Legend has it that the Bone Carousel had its origins in the town's distant past, rooted in a centuries-old tradition that predated the festival itself. According to local lore, the carousel was inspired by ancient rituals practiced by the town's ancestors, who believed in honoring the cycle of life and death. It was said that the carousel served as a symbolic representation of mortality, a reminder of the fleeting nature of existence.

Now, you may be wondering why this legendary marvel of technology is the title-giver for the episode. Well, as you may have guessed, there is something altogether sinister surrounding the festival, which is a string of mysterious deaths occurring every year at the time of the festival, ranging from sudden illnesses and accidents to completely traceless deaths, some more grisly than others. Of course, every death has sparked investigations over the years, but despite best efforts, no conclusive evidence was ever found to explain the tragedies. Autopsies yielded little insight, leaving law enforcement agencies and authorities equally baffled by the lack of leads or evidence.

Due to this, many theories have been formulated, from a lone perpetrator biding his time to strike at random during the festival, using the thousands of visitors to hide their nefarious activities, to a group of individuals with some sort of vendetta against the town or specific victims, masking their deaths by collateral damage.

As the years passed and the death toll mounted, attention turned to the festival itself. What was it about this seemingly joyous occasion that attracted such darkness? Some went into the town's history and the old rituals, voicing concerns that one or more people had revived them to sacrifice innocent people to complete the cycle of life and death.

Over the years, many voices called for a cancellation of the festival, but both organizers and townsfolk themselves have vehemently declined any such notions, citing that it had been a tradition to hold a festival at this time to honour the living and the dead. However, many residents choose to remain indoors or more from the town during the time, lest they would want to take the risk of falling victim themselves.

Despite police and other agencies having ramped up surveillance and patrols during the time of the festival, nothing discouraged the perpetrator or perpetrators from continuing their killing spree, nor has there ever been any signs, traces or even evidence, let alone actual suspects that could be connected to any of the deaths. Throughout the years, the Festival of Shadows has garnered a cult-like following of individuals traveling to Ilmarcess every year in a challenge if they can survive the Bone Carousel, having actually led to rising attendance numbers despite the grisly history behind the festival and the inevitable death by one or more festivalgoers every single year.

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

For now, at least, there's no pressure on Andrew Patterson's job as Kytlerian manager.

For now.

But at some point the accelerator button might be seen to be needed and missing from this revived team's ascending trajectory. A frustrating 0-0 home draw with Krytenia and an equally maddening 2-1 defeat in Baggieland means that the Kytlerians have five points from as many games. While their first-half run concludes against the cellar-dwellers of New Fernia, even beating them would only mean eight points from six including just two from four against other top-125 teams - not quite the return hoped for, even if the margins have typically been fine.

The first discontented rumbles have already begun. Of course, they're from the fascists at RTX Radio complaining that there's a woman on the squad for the first time, even though she's literally only played 40 minutes off the bench and 25 of those were against Lower Tranmere. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it; AFC Edencliff manager Paula Foster, who called the shots at the last DBC, would be favourite to fill any vacancy. That's the same Paula Foster who not only is a woman, but has several women in her squad and smashed the club transfer record to buy the NSL's first non-binary international player. (And so far, Sevet-Ajark has seemingly done the trick, as a team known for leaking goals last season have allowed just two in the first five games this term with the Qusma-Squornshelous right-back in tow en route to one of just two unbeaten records in the NSL.)

But there is a sense of Patterson possibly forcing the issue a bit on a different kind of diversity, namely picking players outside the Big Four. While the champions FC Alaer are very well-represented in the squad, Roddens City and Bay City United both have just one player - Marwin Mikkelsen and Dings Mocks - and they compete for one spot in the starting XI, with Mocks the current pick. By contrast, Bravin Rangers provide two of Patterson's first-choice XI in goalkeeper Kuno Zeelen and striker Danny Markusson, Borlfield's Emrys Floyd remains first choice on the left, and Zeiven City's "SFG" Álfar Jvarsson has become the clear starter at right-back with Capitolians veteran Scathock Wilopteere never even making a squad. Roddens fans used to complain about Jake Arby being overlooked, but his two-footed lunge in defeat to Bay City earlier this season has surely removed any sense of that being an injustice.

Patterson continues to insist that he will pick his best available players and is proud to ignore Big Four "cliques" in his selection process, saying that "the majority of Kytlerian fans, especially of smaller clubs of all kinds, would complain if we picked mostly from the Big Four." But with Borlfield off to a stuttering start to the new campaign, Floyd's position at least must be under threat. The shape of Kytlerian squads to come are set to be hotly debated, but for now, Patterson's the one making those calls.

For now.

[Qusmo]

The Mathletic
Informed analysis.

The elephant in the room: Qusmo, football, & sportswashing
Making sense of Qusma participation in WC96Q

Everyone seems to have an opinion on sportswashing. It’s a trendy topic nowadays, as nations, entities, corporations & even individuals attempt to launder their reputations via fans’ deeply-held connections with their beloved sports teams. Does sportswashing exist? Which sporting projects are being used for sportswashing? Does sportswashing work? & what should fans do in response?

It’s not hard to see why such questions have kept being brought up in reference to Qusmo now that the nation has decided to re-enter WCC competition, many long years after its fateful World Cup 83 campaign. Drolx-Dalox Aka & their allies regularly referenced the supposed evils of football, internationalism, & multiculturalism when they originally summoned enough support to ensure they would remain Qusmo’s leader for many years to come. The Drolx-Dalox regime has been implementing some modest social reforms in recent years, but the return of football to Qusmo seems especially symbolically potent due to the nation’s history with the game.

The simple fact is that every match Qusmo plays within its World Cup Qualifying group is likely to draw ever more international attention to its political situation. By way of example, Esporonia emerged from a devastating civil war roughly contemporaneous with Qusmo’s own KMSQ era, but they have already constructed a new, democratic government recognizing a wide swathes of individual liberties. Why hasn’t Qusmo managed the same? Meanwhile, Tanirinthia is an intensely secretive, hyperisolationist state where many scholars believe the state controls most facets of daily life & citizens lack basic rights. Is this Qusmo’s trajectory?

Interestingly enough, nearly half of the managers in Qusmo’s qualifying group use nonbinary pronouns, not only Tlanx-Nulzk Hal. If, within the context of a geographically, ethnically, culturally, & genderly diverse society, Archalit could built a progressive, socialist state where nonbinary people are safe, respected, & conferred positions of such prestige, what prevents Qusmo from achieving the same? If, ahead of a World Cup Qualifying match with Polar Islandstates, Hakushiya’s players could feel free to advocate for political & social liberties while proudly & openly embracing their own heterodox gender identities & expressions, which themselves exist within the context of a healthy social democracy sustained by a radically gender-diverse & gender-inclusive society, what prevents Qusmo from achieving the same?

The other nations in Qusmo’s qualifying group may not pose such direct alternatives to Qusma gender politics, but they certainly do pose difficult questions vis à vis Qusma politics writ large. Farfadillis & Polar Islandstates represent not only a pair of World Cup & regional tournament champions, but also a pair of fellow island nations whose previous experiences with democratic deconsolidation uncomfortably echo in Qusma political history. Farfadillis has long since devolved from a state into merely a multinational entity with a single islandwide representative football team. Would this have been the fate of Qusmo had the KMSQ not imposed its will on the country? Furthermore, under Orion Lund, Polarian society has become more free in some respects but has at the same time become increasingly obsessed with True Valhallan status, in a manner not dissimilar to the gender panic which helped fuel Drolx-Dalox’s ultimate consolidation of power. Does Qusmo’s fellow Rushmori state represent its past, & does Qusmo represent its future?

It is easy to ascribe the sportswashing label to Qusmo’s participation in World Cup Qualifiers, as clearly it was an intensely political decision that had to be approved by the government. Realistically, Drolx-Dalox themself had to have given their assent. But if their original rise to power was fueled in part by an opposition to football & the cosmopolitanism it represented, & the contrasts for every single match guaranteed political headlines that certainly may not paint their rule in a flattering light everywhere across the Multiverse, why would Drolx-Dalox’s government allow such a thing to happen in the first place?

Sportswashing is not an entirely unhelpful frame of reference to help explain our answer, but rather than focus exclusively on sportswashing of international audiences, one must consider Qusmo’s own domestic audience instead. Qusmo has now lived a generation since the KMSQ takeover. Just one look at Qusmo’s player selection makes this clear, as only one player who received any caps for Qusmo in its pre-KMSQ era was named to its Copa Rushmori XLV roster or World Cup 96 Qualifiers player pool, & even they had only ever participated in a pair of friendlies. Contemporary Qusmo’s young people do not remember football being used as a political weapon, because they cannot remember pre-KMSQ football or society at all. For this new generation, football does not have such inherent political value. Instead, as is the case for much of the rest of the world, it is simply a form of entertainment.

Even nondemocratic states like Qusmo depend on some support from their people to function. Such states need loyal subjects to operate the machinery of the state, & they also must avert such great popular discontent that their people are inspired to attempt to replace their government, by the only such means still available to them. Football can entertain domestic audiences. It can inspire patriotism & pride in one’s country, which can then be appropriated by a regime to produce fealty to one’s state. If young people are in the stands, perhaps they won’t be in the streets.

But such a bread-&-circuses view of Qusma football is also incomplete. Ultimately, Drolx-Dalox’s regime has managed to strike an implicit bargain with its young people: freedom for economic growth. Despite Qusmo’s democratic deficit — or, as some would surely argue, because of its strong, consistent leadership — Qusmo has experienced very strong, consistent economic growth since beginning to recover from the ruins of the brief but devastating KMSQ era. Importantly, economic growth is not simply represented by numbers & data. It is a measure of the very real improvement in Qusmi’y’s quality of life since the depths of the KMSQ era. The regime must do everything it can to ensure consistent, high economic growth. In such an environment, many Qusmi’y seem content to surrender certain political freedoms to the state, in exchange for an improved quality of life overall. But the implicit bargain between the state & its subjects may not hold if the lives of Qusmi’y are not tangibly improved. After all, otherwise, why would they assent to such a state that offers neither political freedom nor economic prosperity?

Football, then, represents another revenue stream for the Qusma state, just as it represents another source of entertainment & fuel for national pride. In this way, then, Qusmo’s reentry to world football starts to seem rather obvious. Qusmo could perhaps be said to be sportswashing, but it is not doing so on a global stage. Indeed, although Qusmo’s regime will surely use this opportunity to tell foreign audiences about its domestic social reforms & the many rights Qusmi’y do have — just as long as it doesn’t involve choosing new governance — Qusmo’s global reputation could very feasibly decline as a result of their increased multiversal visibility. That’s not the reason Qusmo is competing again on the world stage, however. Perhaps Qusmo is indeed sportswashing — but Qusmo is sportswashing Qusmo.

[Zwangzug]

The Kerlagrad Courier

Although the Bear-Belles have a long and illustrious tradition in the World Cup, their paths have not crossed with Zwangzug's very often. Thus, in the buildup to the fourth seeds' visit to Forbridge, there has been some hesitancy as to how they might be received. Of course, it's no surprise that a team with such an illustrious history can punch above its weight--a 2-2 draw at Wimbley Stadium was well-earned, and they look to be every bit as competitive if there's still something to play for on Matchday Thirteen. However, given our country's isolationism, Zwangzugians can sometimes be skittish around some of the world's very unfamiliar teams.

The good news is twofold. One: the public emergence of the Zeb folk has helped build bridges with more diverse members of the international community--old-school fans may remember Lolicia, the Freeport native who played for Trebuchet Cham. And two: the current Bears Armed team has plenty in common with us! According to our exhaustive scouting reports, the team's deep staff is a credit to how seriously they support and mentor their players in all aspects of life, and it's clear that we have plenty of common ground.

Much like Ko-oren, Bears Armed eschew the decimal system, preferring to number their players in base eight; surely we can appreciate a commitment to meaningful binary numbers. Rebecca Gold, who scored the first goal for the hosts, has been scouted by Eintracht Trink according to a source who is definitely a 1./ expert and not a cousin I made up just now. "Trink admires polyglots who take their religious commitments seriously amid the world's diversity, and they always want to bolster their attack," said the extremely plausible connoisseur.

"I had no idea Freeda Urrlafh’s-dottir was Valhallan, but it just goes to show you how well-traveled the world of football is," concurred a blogger of repute. "With a name like that I would have had her down as Jorvelki, but having watched her on the sidelines...well, it just goes to show that they take every aspect of their game very seriously."

"We look forward to welcoming Karra-Marra SunDaughter to organize their pregame rituals during the return leg," said an employee at the Eagles' Club. "Forbridge isn't particularly close to Marsey, but hopefully she gets an opportunity to take in some culture at the Narrow Road and realize that we're every bit as earnest if ridiculous about our hobbies as they are about theirs."

"I heard Lurra Lovegood was a commentator at the Quidditch World Cup," said another visiting fan, without providing any evidence for this assertion. "Which is great! We need more multi-sport announcing legends." Everyone we spoke with agreed that it was very impressive how many of the Bear-Belles played chess, and that much like South Newlandia, they would probably be actually much better than us despite or because of our aesthetic.

(Reed 20 and 51, Hildegard 35, McGraw 79; Clarke 27, Sorensen 61)
(Gold 31, Brent 82; Spand-Maunk 45+1, Marcus 72)

[United Hawkland]

UHL Fans: Limit the climate impact or else.

Hello. I am climate activist Joan Krissdottir and I am here to politely ask the United Hawkland national football team to stop winning matches, or for the fans to quit ruining the environment.
While football is ‘The Beautiful Game’, it is just that, a game. It is entirely unexcusable the impact the fans are having on the climate. In three celebratory marches through Østad, more than 500 pounds of plastic, paper, glass, and metal trash were picked up on the streets. At least double that was blown into the nearby lake and sea, mostly plastic, affecting the ecosystem that has been protected at all costs for a millenia. And these are celebrations against teams like Sudilia and Conania. Imagine the impact after a win against nations like TJUN-ia and Delte. It's dangerous and I won't stand for it. The Hawklandian lake turtles and seafoxes don't deserve it!
The United Hawkland FA banned the Silver Crosses for being racist and xenophobic. It was a great decision on their part, and everyone would agree. But now we have another serious problem. This isn't discrimination… These are actual lives at hand.
If you are with me, I invite everyone to watch the match peacefully at Marty’s Vegan Pub, the street will be closed, and our goal is to limit the 500 pounds of trash to zero.

[Saterun]

This Saterun team was finally starting to see something.

The draw against Cabo Azure had certainly given them some confidence. Although the initial results had been poor, they were technically on an upturn of form, and looked to continue it today against Saltidia. They were traveling away to the unranked nation, and it seemed to Claws' best opportunity so far to pick up 3 points. But they were in for a battle. The hosts wouldn't go down easily.

They were at a small stadium, with no more than 5,000 seats, but the fans had turned up. Even though Saltidia still had 0 points, their fans were looking for that first draw. Or maybe even a win. Normally, Saterun would be the massive favorites, but they were in a major slump right now. Either way, both teams had the hunger and desire to make this an enthralling match. Andrei Coiro took up his central midfield position as the captains exchanged banners. For the past 3 weeks and two games, they had been refining Kameron's new tactic of ganharbola. Now, it was time to execute it. Maksymillian Bates played him the ball to kick off the match, and it was underway.

The Saterun side came out strong. The gulf in experience was evident from the beginning, and the Claws made it count. Within the first five minutes, Thiago Esparza already had two shots, one of which had just barely skimmed the outside of the post. By the tenth, the Claws were regularly taking siege to the opponent's goal. Finally, their first breakthrough came the in 16th minute. Glenn Lundquist played the ball out to Hans-Jürgen Becker on the left, who slipped Thiago through. He did a quick feint to send the defender the other way, before hitting a curled shot aimed at the bottom right corner. However, it was just barely too slow, and the Saltidia goalkeeper managed to parry it away. A Saltidian defender went to clear it, but Glenn slid in the way, deflecting the ball back towards the left side of the goal. It was perfectly head height for Thiago to stick it in the back of the net. The team celebrated wildly as, for the first time in this qualifying campaign, they were leading.

21 minutes later, they doubled their lead. And this goal was perfect. It completely embodied what Kameron had designed ganharbola to do. As Saltidia came down for the attack, the team instantly compressed, cutting off space for the opposition. The forwards moved fluidly, and the midfielders dominated space, all with the discipline of Kameron's original system. And when the hosts finally made a mistake, Fabian Cruz pounced. A lazy pass let the right back intercept the ball, and from there Saltidia didn't have a chance. Fabian quickly switched the ball over to Avishai Demare, who was wide open. He took the ball up to about half field, before playing it back into Hans-Jürgen. With a beautiful outside-foot pass, he curled the ball around the Saltidian defenders, perfectly into the stride of Maksymillian. And, finally, Maksymillian showed some of the magic he had possessed in the IAC. With just him and the goalkeeper, he deftly chipped the ball, just high enough to beat the keeper. And seconds later, the really magical part happened. The Saltidian left back had tracked back to the goal, and had a shot of clearing it. And he would have, had it been any lower. Maksymillian had put just the right amount of power for the ball to slip delicately below the crossbar. Perfection.

The Claws went into the break 2 goals up. They had been playing with new life, and Kameron was happy to see them settle into his system. But a threat was creeping into the dressing room. A masked killer of leads. Complacency. Andrei noticed it as soon as he arrived. The players were laid back, carelessly talking. The urgency was gone. They had come into the game needing everything, and now felt that they had got it. But there was still another half to go. And this attitude would come back to haunt them.

The second half started well enough, with Andrei especially putting in significant work. They were cruising. However, all it took was one moment to shatter that illusion. With Glenn under pressure, he played a back pass aimed at Cipriano Dalca, but it had little pace and was intercepted by a Saltidian forward. All of a sudden, Saterun were on the defensive. This had happened in the IAC too, where one mistake had thrown them all out of position. With superior numbers, the hosts were able to launch a pointed attack. It was mainly Cipriano and Johnothan against 4 Saltidian players. Although they covered well, the Saterun defenders were eventually overrun. The ball slipped just barely past Ralf Abiatti's hands to nestle in the bottom corner. 7 minutes after the restart, and their lead had been cut in half.

The Claws were visibly shaken. Their confidence was fraught. Kameron was trying to marshal his team from the sidelines, but the effort was in vain. They say 2-0 is the most dangerous scoreline. This goal, and the one that followed, would show that to be true. A shaky Saterun side managed to hold out another 20 minutes before Saltidia struck again. They had been piling on the pressure, waiting for someone to crack. And that someone would be Andrei. His opponent took a half turn to beat him around the 77", and he carelessly stuck a foot out. Of course, the other player went down. It had been right on the edge of the penalty area, so there was plenty of lobbying with the referee. VAR eventually showed that the foul had been committed just outside the box, but it was still enough to warrant a yellow for Andrei. As the players lined up, Andrei noticed something strange. Multiple Saltidian players were near the fringes of the box, while hardly any were in the typical crossing area. He was about to tell Ralf when the whistle blew. The player taking the free kick slid the ball across the edge of the box, into waiting feet on the other side of the wall. Virtually uncontested, the Saltidian striker smashed it past Ralf. It was all level.

However, Andrei and the Claws had one last breath of brilliance. It was the 88th minute, with the clock winding down. A good tackle from Leandro Alfienk gave Saterun possession, and they started to work the ball down the field. Throughout the whole process, Andrei was the engine, guiding and moving the ball. Finally, after a minute of good passing play, they were in shooting range. All they needed to do now was wait for an opportunity. Glenn had just played Andrei the ball when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a Saltidian defender running at him. He moved to pass the ball, only to let it slip under his feet. The defender went sliding into air. And Andrei was alone, on the edge of the box. Time seemed to slow. He picked his head up, saw no better option, and brought his foot back to shoot. As he struck through the ball, he knew it was good. It knuckled through the air, barely tipped up and over the goalkeeper's glove, and softly settled into the top right corner. Just like that, the away bench went wild. Andrei Coiro had put them up, 3-2. Five minutes later, they had picked up 3 points and their first win of the campaign.

[Vdara]

On Top Of The World

Things could not be going any better for Vdara. On top of the group, having faced - and defeated - the first, second, and fourth seeds, with players across the pitch performing excellently. To top it off even further, they swept aside strong debutants Francazar, keeping them three points clear with eight matchdays to go. Everything was tip-top, the vibes were immaculate, and the football was brilliant. Yet still, a general nerviness around the team permeated the air. Sure, there was optimism, but you could feel that these players were getting a nosebleed from being on top. Markos sought to fix this, and chose to do so via his favourite medium - post-match rant.

"Ladies! Gents! Windows! We have gone where no Vdaran has gone since the start of World Cup 91. We are top of our group, we have not lost a match, and we are putting countless goals past everyone we play. We are undoubtedly in a fantastic position - but that does not mean we should get complacent, nor does it mean that you should all shit yourselves like a deer in the headlights. Sure, we are on top, but you have to remember - how did we get there? And then, you have to instil the belief within yourself - how will we STAY there? The answer, of course, is by continuing the same fantastic work that we've always been putting in. Staying adaptable, staying strong, staying focused. It's early days yet, and we really need to keep that in our heads, our hearts, and our hard drives. That is how we will continue our progress, and that is how we will win."

Bemused, the players looked on at Markos as he triumphantly posed, like a Hellenic warrior who had struck his opponent down to increase his social status among members of the oikos. His undisputed superiority was interrupted by a senior player, who brought up a fantastic point.

This speech is all well and good, Markos, but it's no use sounding like a politician or changing our attitudes FIVE GAMES IN. I mean, come on, have we lost the plot here? We overused the Oracle and stretched the tempers of the Gods last cycle, and now we're getting political? We need to stay humble, we need to stay genuine! There is no need for these theatrics - we don't DO theatrics! We are Vdarans at heart, and that means we'll stand steadfast and true against anyone who dares to face us.

Markos pondered the player's words and paced around the room, eyeing up the players as he did so.

"My dear Manousos, you always were so eloquent. I do hope someone like you succeeds me when the FA eventually decides to fuck me off. Or I die. Whichever comes first. You're right - I am acting too much like a billy big bollocks myself, despite telling the lot of you to stay grounded. I think I need a good slap."

Markos began slapping himself, shouting "Why are you hitting yourself?!" as he did. Players began to wonder whether or not the manager had been taking his meds lately. After several slaps, he stumbled backwards and barely stayed on his feet, his cheeks a rosy red.

"That ought to do the trick. Nothing like a good bit of self-punishment to keep your head in the game, eh? For you guys, they call that 'exercise'. The grind never stops."

Markos strutted out of the room, slightly wobbly as a result of slapping himself to such an extent, muttering "The grind never stops." The players all looked at each other like they had just seen Kronos devouring his own children. "What the fuck was that all about?"

Markos had made a total fool of himself, but this all came as part of his scheme to keep the players level-headed. By bringing the ridicule onto himself and changing the vibe, he kept the players' eyes facing firmly forward - at the expense of his cheeks, and perhaps his sanity.

[Aleirave]

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something... Unnecessary
West Barack and East Obama 1-0 Aleirave
Aleirave 2-4 Abanhfleft

"Nice to have a game back at the Old Grounds... Haulafo Paka'ula said after the Seagulls' matchup against the squad from Abanhfleft."
"Whaddya mean?" a bystander asked him. "Union Stadium is absolutely beautiful! Everything this island's needed for so long..."
"Heh... do you see what we're doing now?"
"Having a chat?"

"Yeah, exactly. Would we have done that after a game at Union Stadium? Where, instead of just a couple hundred folks gathered around, we had tens of thousands of nameless faces in those stands?"
"I mean, we can always head to the bar after or something..."

"Does the bar have room? After that match against Chromatika, do you know how strained everything was? All of the travelers showing up and sleeping in people's houses just because there were no hotels for them, all of the restaurants packed to capacities they never could've possibly planned for?"

"We have to have some space for people--"

"Pakane, I'm just not sure whether we're ready for this yet. I'm absolutely sure that, in time, something like Union Stadium will be the future of sports here in Aleirave... but for now? The island life is what works for us. We don't have all the hotels yet, the big restaurants serving 'authentic' Aleiravan food for seas of foreigners, none of that! All we have right now is what we've always had, which used to work for us but... not with Union Stadium in the mix! It's throwing everything off..."

"Times sometimes change... we must be ready."
"And we're not, Pakane. We're not ready yet. We must be ready before something like this comes in."
"Not like we can undo what's been done, Haulafo..."

"No, but we can try our best to bring back the old life until we're ready..."

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC:
- Lara Torridge roleplay NOT cleared with Starblaydia, yet yet again. Huh? He's asked me to "[d]o as you like" and "if there's anything out of the ordinary you can always edit it later." I have nevertheless tried my best not to be too silly cleared with Star at 3:48am UTC on Tuesday.
- Site for the 11th Group of Six meeting commended unto me by Auprussia.
- Schedule coming next cutoff. Sorry. Although to be fair "this match happened on XYZ date!" has been less relevant for me this cycle than at any point in the Priscilla Evans era.
- Last Post has not been cancelled. It's just that Kry's been very, very busy with other things. It will happen at some point, but I cannot guarantee that said point will not be WCQ97.

---

Group of Six meeting (X) --- Darmen 0-4 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Daiki Fujiwara [ballot]
Location: Premium Coffee; Whitehammer district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

Stephen again - just to confirm that we will stick with the plan decided prior to the Darmen game against Tumbra. This was universally agreed to be an excellent match in which we got the result needed and we all hope that similar glory will be attained again at the Nat Lib.

The Grand Tour of Anaia - Starblaydia: Green questions lead to some purple peril in Jhanna

by Lara Torridge - January 26th 2006

I'd like to start by saying one thing - I am not one-hundred and six years old. I'd like to be, but I'm only twenty-one as of this point. Nevertheless, Starblaydia's environmental focus - which is roughly that old in Eleanorian terms; twice that much in Starblaydian terms - remains relevant as ever. The baggage claim at the airport features plenty of advertisements about how they're working to reduce emissions, deliver clean electricity, and promote sustainability; probably just as many reminders, if not a bit less, that the Stadium Di Bradini is carbon negative. I remember reading about Green Starblaydia when I was in primary school; I do not regret doing so.

It takes a while, but I manage to board one of the buses that runs between the airport and central Jhanna - it's nice and airy and I appreciate the convenience. Legalese, which is very much hostile to conventional vehicles, is one of the next nations on my itinerary; I imagine I'll see myself riding this particular bus again. By the time I get off, I realise I've forgotten to get my money exchanged. I ask a rather more helpful local, however, who tells me that there is a bank a couple of blocks down the corner. Wisely, I accept his decision not to try and send me to a bureau de change instead.

I approach the bank teller, explain that a couple of people at the bus looked at me strangely when I used my Eleanorian bank card to pay for the bus, and wonder what I have to do to get my money exchanged. She tells me that the Starblayde Credit has gone digital and that, since the advent of the Zephyr payment system a decade or two ago, most people have linked the mandatory ID chips in their hand to the Zephyr application on their phones to render payment. I insist to her that I've never owned a mobile phone and find the prospect of getting surveilled by a foreign nation - which I'm only visiting on holiday - for the rest of my life unnerving. She insists that I should continue to use my card from home, and just walk away without ordering if anything unusual happens.

Exchange rate: not applicable

With that said, I decide to go to a supermarket and order a single, small bar of chocolate. It sets me back about half a Starblaydi Credit (more like seventy Eleanorian cents); the payment goes through, I eat it and find it to be rather more palatable than the one I enjoyed, or tried to enjoy, in Ferramendiak.

It's only a bit of a walk further away to one of the fancy world-cuisine restaurants, whose fare I enjoy, but I'm surprised and find it to be a bit commercialised for my liking by the end of it all. A rather less helpful local, who bears an interseting similarity to the first person I met, tells me that the more authentic experiences are about twenty minutes further out by foot; shorter if you're willing to use one of the smarter technologies around, which I'm not after my recent experience. I hit up an otherwise identical restaurant meeting that criteria and very much appreciate it, even if I feel completely full up now - and it's only lunchtime.

I imagine that whatever libraries are in the area will give me enough of a connection; I'm honestly not sure how much these people rely on books. To my chagrin, I have to explain to the librarian that no, I am not a Starblaydi citizen nor have I ever owned a mobile phone. After several minutes of fidgeting with the login and internet systems, I log online and am astonished with how fast everything is; certainly it is faster than back home. There I find out, to my positive shock, that Saint Eleanor are up 1-0 over Eura with about half an hour to go courtesy of University alumna Jess Martin - and with somewhat less surprise that the local Hiyashi Corporation is turning over record profits, again.

All of this is hard work and I still haven't had any coffee, so off to an independent café that apparently only runs a single branch, here in central Jhanna, I go. I am frankly surprised it hasn't been taken over by the state, more so when I find the coffee itself to be overly bitter and annoying. Again, I run into someone who tells me I look nice - it's a woman, though; I tell her I dated one back in Saint Eleanor a couple of years ago and didn't vibe with it, to which she isn't surprised. (She shouldn't have been - I remember, with some difficulty, that Starblaydia is one of the hubs of the Rainbow Laces campaign.) She figures I'm a biology graduate, given I'm well-spoken and well-dressed but not really overly geeky. She's almost correct.

I have a look around one of the souvenir shops, am not impressed by anything they offer - even the replica tops - and tell the staff accordingly. Then I run into a pub, definitely of the franchised variety this time, where I have to think about what to order; I just get a glass of water, however (and no ice, please). The bartender notices my First Eleanorian card, reminds me that tap water is free, brings out his mobile and tells me that Saint Eleanor's 1-0 lead has been converted into a 3-0 win, which I find absolutely incredible. That, for various reasons (perhaps boredom, perhaps fear, perhaps the need to get a move on), marks the end of my day here.

The bus back to the airport goes with much less incident than my day overall (or indeed the bus from there), and about as much incident as the past two places in the city I've been to. Maybe I should have told the teller that I didn't have any issues with payment, but it wasn't a priority and I don't count on banks elsewhere being open from 6am until 10pm almost every day like they are back home. Luckily for me, Jhanna is one of the few airports from which you can fly to Chromatika. It's a trip I imagine myself enjoying... although possibly not, given that I'm a bit more of a libertine than most.

Single-day visit: Summary

What I wore: a pleated skirt (and a pair of tights), long-sleeved top (and a tiny little coat), and a pair of sturdy boots
What I spent: quite a bit, but all by card
What I've got left over: 95 Eleanorian dollars for emergencies; 800 Eleanorian dollars for ordinary use

Group of Six meeting (XI) --- SAINT ELEANOR 0-0 Tumbra
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], David Key [ballot]
Location: The Earthewald Center; Alexia-Roswulfe district, Alexia city, AUP

Match summary
Goals: none
Red cards: none
Yellow cards: Renton (63); Davies (32), Matsuda (49), Newbridge (80)

Key moments:
* Coming into this match, Saint Eleanor was the ONLY TEAM NOT TO HAVE CONCEDED (out of 140 prospective qualifiers)
* Some surprises in the Tumbran lineup - Whitfield in central defence; Robertson and Leighton in midfield (leaving Harrison alone in CDM); other Robertson at LW; Hardaker up front
* Substitutes were used, although not very generously; starting lineups remained unchanged for first seventy minutes
* There were a number of yellow cards, generally earned as part of the mission to concede setpieces and thwart TMB - nothing too jeopardising and all of their lot went off injury-free
* As planned, Tumbra's play was broken up whenever possible - turnover was regular; setpieces were regularly conceded, which they often did not take advantage of
* We weren't as outnumbered in midfield as expected but bringing on Nicholls was nevertheless a good call; she gave us a numerical/physical advantage and ironically we were closer to scoring after that
* EXT offensively insepid, disappointing as usual but not too much of a surprise; a couple of chances, all good, all fended off with some difficulty, nowhere near as intense as Johnho
* Well done to Northend for winning a free-kick off Renton, TMB's only booking; Goldsmith came close with his volley but not quite, came off his weaker foot
* It is a testament to our overall quality that we landed more shots on target than did TMB

TAKEAWAY 1: WE HAVE A GOOD RECORD AND WE CONFIRMED IT HERE... WE SHOULD KEEP IT WHILE IT LASTS

Tactical discussion
* Auprussia are technically unranked but have been insurgent: third on 12pts, only behind EXT and TMB on 13pts each
* AUP have been internationally tested in the world's strongest leagues, which makes them utterly unpredictable - Mitcham can't deduce anything from his tapes on them
* Fun philosophical exercise from Coombe... AUP are about as good as EXT; if you were playing against a shadow EXT (ignore their players), how would you set the team up?
* Obviously keep the back four and Richardson, they've proven to be very much indispensible except where mission-critical and a change isn't urgent right now
* EXT's CAMs have often acted as though they were strikers but that hasn't been the case for AUP so far, most play goes through the actual striker
* Consensus is that it would be best to field a 4-1-4-1: regular wide midfielders; Coombe at CDM for pragmatism's sake...
* ...with Hollenberg/Matsuda paired at CM - both are capable, transitional players who know how to get the job done, and will add a bit of verve in doing so
* Agreement that Key should start up front - he's a dynamic player and would do ideally with those CMs; Hart and Goldsmith are old-school out-and-out types
* Gentle Breeze notes that all Auprussians are expected to have a knowledge of attack so we may be vulnerable - counter from Mitcham and Winchester that our CMs can easily drop back
* General acceptance that Orunolaya (née Arjunnagar) is not a major threat - similar lineup and tactics against them unless something dramatic happens
* Disclaimer that substitutes may be brought on to account for the match situation or player fitness/capability and this is by no means a determinative list!

TAKEAWAY 2: LITTLE DANGER DOES NOT MEAN NO DANGER - ATTACK THEM WITH WHAT WE HAVE - THIS IS OUR BEST SHOT IN A LONG TIME

AGREED LINEUP (4-2-3-1): Richardson - Winchester, Launceston, Newbridge, Davies - Coombe [cdm] - Newcastle, Hollenberg [cm], Matsuda [cm], Northend - Key

- Cathy

[Yue Zhou]

THE BEIYANG TRIBUNE

[Huayramarca]

Matchday 7-8 RP Cutoff!

Half of the qualifier already, how's your team faring in the quest for the top?

[Oberour Ar Moro]

Losing One’s Bearings

Previous Chapters of Losing One's Bearings:
Chapter One, Chapter Two (including map of Port Kejm), Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight

CHAPTER NINE

What to do when there is nothing to do

“And finally we got a cable from the Ministry of Trade,” Jacques la Mareschale read the last bullet point off of his electronic tablet. He looked up to see David start to slump in his chair.

“And what did the cable say?” David de Blois asked, with a heavy amount of reticence.

“The Ministry acknowledged the death of Rodolphe Pouliquen, but still wanted a recommendation on the Cavaco Foreign Commerce Authorization by the deadline.”

The Ambassador groaned and dropped his head, holding it in his hands. “That, still?”

“Rodolphe may have been the primary shareholder on the paperwork, but Nicole has an equal number of shares. The business still exists, so the application still needs an ambassadorial recommendation,” Jacques explained to a seemingly despairing Ambassador de Blois. Jacques wasn’t entirely sure why de Blois was so dismayed, but he tried to offer his assistance as an aide-de-camp. “You can send a negative recommendation. Half the ownership is dead, Nicole may not be capable of running the business, let alone grow into a market like Gnejs. It is more than reasonable to say no in this case.”

David sighed deeply, then leaned back in his chair, lifting a hand to run it through his hair. “That may not be the best thing to do...” As he trailed off he reached out and found some papers in a small pile, taking them and starting to organize them, though thoughtlessly. Jacques could tell this was a symbol that the meeting was over and Jacques was to leave. The Ambassador puffed himself up and put on a professional air. “In the meantime, the Embassy will do everything in its power to assist Madame Pouliquen in this trying time.”

“But of course, Ambassador,” Jacques knows when an aide-de-camp is not wanted. “I’ll take my leave.” Jacques left the office, finding himself once again disappointed in his boss.

The previous Oberour Ar Moro Ambassador to Gnejs was a man named Henri-Charles Dumesnil. Dumesnil was 79 when Jacques had been billetted to Port Kjem. Ambassador Dumesnil was nice, earnest, and a little batty. He was balding, had permanently watery eyes hidden behind round tortoiseshell glasses, and he smiled as easily as he would lose the point of his stories. Henri-Charles Dumesnil died at the age of 83 in his seat on a flight back to the Dominion and it wasn't discovered he was dead until the plane landed.

Jacques would have liked to be promoted to Ambassador, to replace his direct superior, but it wasn't to be just yet. Instead, Oberour Ar Moro had appointed David de Blois to the role. David had been in the upper echelon of diplomatic staff at Cote d'Saphir, which is one of the prestigious placements in the diplomatic service. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs must have seen David as a high-flier to get a promotion to ambassadorship so early. He was even younger than Jacques by a year.

The appointment must have been a surprise to David. Over the past months David had, with much tutoring by Jacques, been learning how to speak Gnejsian, how the ambassador does their job, how to work with the public, just about every basic of the job. David clearly had a good background in economics, and he had a real aptitude for language learning. But he was a work in progress on the job in general and his wife clearly hadn’t wanted him to take the posting. Had David even wanted the job? Jacques had to wonder.

David was clearly so green when he was sent to Port Kjem that while he had absolute authority to make changes in the Embassy, including selecting his own aide-de-camp, he had kept Dumesnil's staff in place, including Jacques. So Jacques continued doing what Aide-de-Camps do: The busy work for their senior officer, and in an embassy, that means the embassy’s basic functioning.

So that meant normal embassy issues. He had to review the application for a medical treatment visa from a Gnejsian citizen. An Oberour citizen visiting the Prosaic Union had apparently lost her passport, which needed his oversight. He had a long scheduled call with Balthazar Thessin, a Gnejsian businessman, that he couldn’t miss.

And since the Ambassador had directed that the Embassy would assist Nicole Pouliquen, that meant going above and beyond with the Embassy’s Oberour citizen death services. What did this mean? For today that meant a fourth argument with Occident Airlines. You don't like transporting coffins? Jacques had to answer that the Embassy didn’t like Oberours dying, but it's the national carrier’s job to get him home.

Nicole Pouliquen, through Cavaco solely, indicated the plans for Rodolphe’s funeral were to be in Calchedon, their home in the Dominion, and he would be buried in the family plot. That meant flying his body, in a coffin, in a plane, back to Regium, and then on to his eternal resting place. And Occident was being recalcitrant, for whatever reason.

As Jacques hung up the phone, he figured that he had to have been dealing with someone Occident just hired. It’s not the first time an Oberour citizen died overseas, after all. It’s just that the embassy didn’t have the body yet, and couldn’t guarantee when the body would be available, so flights had to have the space available at a moment’s notice.

Getting Rodolphe’s body was another hassle to deal with. There was another call with the Port Kjem constabulary. When will the body be released? No idea. When will you have an idea? No idea.

One thing the constabulary seemed absolutely certain about was that Rodolphe would be cremated. For some reason. Oberour Ar Moro custom, written into law, was that cremation was illegal. So he had no idea why he kept getting calls about this. Is he going to be cremated? No. Is he going to be cremated? No. So I understand he's going to be cremated? No.

Plus, Oberour Ar Moro still needed a local death certificate, and the police report so they could issue a Consular Report of Death of Oberour Abroad. Those were delayed as well.

Jacques was doing all of these calls in the name of the Ambassador. There wasn’t a much higher Oberour authority in Gnejs than the aide-de-camp speaking on his Ambassador’s behalf. And no one seemed to be taking him seriously. Not even those detectives a few nights ago.

Jacques was still mad at David for the performance he put on in front of those detectives. Ignoring his calls, answering the door drunk, and acting suspicious. Though the whole thing was ridiculous: Calling on an Ambassador, directly at his residence, in the middle of the night! An outrageous violation of diplomatic norms he had called the commissioner’s office to complain about. The detectives could have, and should have, worked with him.

This all was clearly a result of Gnejs’ very particular distinction between Acquaintances and Friends, Jacques figured. The Dominion was just an Acquaintance, so even an Ambassador is just lumped in as just another southron, at best. But if Oberour Ar Moro was a Friend of Gnejs, then doors would open and strings would be pulled as soon as you asked.

Jacques had emphasized to David over and over that he needed to work double time to try and chip away at the Gnejsians to even start the long process of becoming a friend. That or de Blois would need to take a bullet meant for the Prime Minister, and probably a bus full of orphaned kittens on top of that.

That’s why nurturing the connections the current embassy already had was so important. These connections did not include the Port Kjem’s coroner’s office, which was next on his list of Pouliquen-related calls to make. He put a pin in that though, since he had regular embassy work to address as well. Like that lost passport.

A consular officer was at the front counter speaking with Madame Berc’hed Brunius: A 73-year-old resident of Appuli, visiting a child and grandchild on The Rock. This was absolutely something the consular officer can and will handle directly. But, because Jacques didn’t have enough to do, this case came up as one he should personally review.

“Madame Brunius?” he asked as he slid in to the seat vacated by the Consular Officer. “My name is Jacques la Mareschale. I am the Aide-de-Camp for this Embassy. We’re just finalizing the replacement of your passport.”

“Oh, thank you very much,” Mrs. Brunius said in a small voice, her eyes crinkling in happiness. “I was so worried after I couldn’t find my original.”

“Understandable. Please be careful going forward, passports are the highest form of identification and it is a national security risk to lose one. The passport we’ll be issuing is a temporary passport you will have to replace at a Ministry of Foreign Affairs passport office when you return.”

“Of course, sir, of course,” Mrs. Brunius said, apologetically. “Oh, by the way, have you heard of the passing of Monsieur Pouliquen? Such a loss for Oberour Ar Moro,”

Jacques really couldn’t escape from the Pouliquen’s either. “It truly is, madame.”

“Of course you know that the dead are forced to eat as much dirt as the amount of bread they consumed and wasted in life. Though a gentleman as impressive as Monsieur Pouliquen surely didn’t waste too much bread.”

I wouldn’t be so sure about that, thought Jacques. Besides: Eating dirt in death? Jacques felt like he was currently eating dirt in life, Rodolphe’s nothing special.

[Hakushiya]

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Top topics at this hour: 96th NS World Cup | WorldVision 113 | Kiana Knight | Pita Serelia | Hidden Voices | The Blue Awakening

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#roundCup: Oiseaux-Féderals byed off without another home match, triple-tied chaotically with Terns away in police-state federation
last updated Apr 2, 2024 at 09:00 (UTC+3) | by Monique Dalhousie

• MD7: Hakushiya byed-off - no pro goalscoring for this match day happened meaning the national team arranged by the HFSL could spend some more time in Farfadillis before leaving for the Polar Islandstates… (proof: Elijah Maraj and Lily Ikuta practicing their violin and bass parts for VODA’s WV113 performance at a studio in Farfadillis and sharing a video of that onto Globbr)
• MD8: Polarian Terns vs Hakushiyan Oiseaux-Féderals (away in the Polar Islandstates) - once again the two teams ended up drawing each other out (3-3)… and in a more chaotic way than on MD1 when the OFs were playing against the Terns at home in Kapuso Valley with yellow cards given on both sides and even two ejections on the home side to boot.
• ”True Valhallans” back home: involved in a diplomatic row - speaking of chaos remember when Nemo Thunberg and Taylor Belli both spoke out for the Terns on human rights in the Polar Islandstates? Or when Heiki Uhlgren and Asa Yuzuki were both rumored to be on the road to romance after posting something about “looking forward to the return leg”? Turns out relations between the HFSL and Orion Lund have been souring since then as well… but that’s a topic Aline’s covered in her own article.
• and finally… some music to round up to: “Take Me Away” by Seppo Takala - nearly a decade after this EDM banger gave Todlichebujoku a win at WV36 it got played during the halftime break for the Terns-vs-OFs match causing many videos using that song to pop up on social media networks across both nations (sped-up/slowed-down versions included)… maybe the lyrical content still has the power to resonate with all the Valhallans who feel fed up deep down with the way Orion Lund’s interfering in their lives?

Monique Dalhousie
PART-TIME CONTRIBUTOR
19+ | enby | they/them | writing from Malmo Rock, Avadong, Hakushiya | sports/showbiz-focused
(Globbr handle: @momomonique_d)

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NSWC: HFSL, Orion Lund thrown into diplomatic row after arrests of Belli and Thunberg
last updated Apr 2, 2024 at 08:11 (UTC+4) | by Aline Derby

Pictured: (left) Taylor Belli and (right) Nemo Thunberg at the Franz Josef City International Airport in the Polar Islandstates an hour before their arrests

While it still does seem like there's a spark of hope with the rumors of a Heiki-Asa romance we from the CiCiCLAN have already talked about, this time around the talk-of-town simultaneously involving both Hakushiya and the Polar Islandstates sounds more negative than you might expect - the recent arrests of Taylor Belli and Nemo Thunberg at a restaurant in the Polarian capital have led to the HFSL’s management and other players alike placing pressure on Orion Lund’s Polarian government and police force to immediately release the two detainees and refrain from making further arrests on soccer players (both domestic and foreign) for speaking in favor of human rights on behalf of the Polarian people.

In an open letter that was signed by the Oiseaux-Féderals’ managers - Alisa Gauthier and Dori Chiu - plus multiple other named players for the Hakushiyan national team, there was a denunciation of the arrests as “too sudden to be justifiable by common sense” along with a call for the Polarian government to “release, without any conditions that would only lead to further uncertainty surrounding them, Belli and Thunberg from the oppressive and opaque legal mechanisms that operate in the Polarian Islandstates”, among other calls. A spokesperson for the dictatorial Polarian leader, however, later posted onto a Polarian social media platform that they weren’t “wanting no scrubs”, apparently trying to reject the statements outlined in the open letter.

It’s also been reported that when Belli and Thunberg took a cab from the Franz Josef City International Airport to a fast food restaurant named Omgiven av Smaker in the Polarian capital’s downtown area, both of them were hoping to “just get some quick bites” without even expecting two of Lund’s shady secret agents (who seemed to both be dressed in the Polarian Terns’ kit) to verbally distract them in the middle of eating - this led to a heated dispute between the two sides where one of the agents claimed that Belli and Thunberg were both “under arrest warrants” (maybe those agents learnt about what their targets said on behalf of the Terns regarding human rights in the Polar Islandstates back in Kapuso Valley), to which both of them responded with a “what?” before being forcibly taken to a notorious Polarian kangaroo court in a black caravan.

After the open letter was published, numerous Hakushiyan and Polarian commenters flocked onto different social media networks to publicize their own opinions on the situation, with one of the Polarian commenters even noting that “it’s one thing to place gag orders only on your own populace, but whoever thought doing this on foreign visitors as well would be a good idea should dig their own grave”.

Any thoughts on this latest controversy? Do you believe that Taylor Belli and Nemo Thunberg will end up escaping the Polarian legal system to make themselves available for future WC96 qualifier matches? Let us know in the comments!

Aline Derby
FULL-TIME CONTRIBUTOR
26+ | cis woman | she/her | writing from Avoy, Avadong, Hakushiya | sports/showbiz-focused
(Globbr handle: @notakaeyamain)

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(there are no results involving the Hakushiyan national team for MD7 as it got byed-off that day)

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STARTING LINEUPS + RESULTS FOR POLAR ISLANDSTATES v HAKUSHIYA - 2/Apr/2024 @ 07:00 (UTC+7)
(NB: 1Y = one yellow card, 2Y = two yellow cards, DNF = withdrew with explicit permission, 
SUB = substitutions, DSQ = ejections, GO = goalscorer(s), WARN = yellow cards given)
——————————
POLAR ISLANDSTATES (PIS):
GKP   Hans AIGNER (1Y)
DEF   Jalmari HAGEN (1Y)
DEF   Aapo MIROSHNICHENKO (1Y)
DEF   Odbjorn OHM (1Y)
DEF   Johannes BRAUN (1Y)
ATK   Emmanuele NIEMI (DNF) -> Elmo POLLAND
ATK   Dmitry EISENHAUER (2Y) (DSQ)
ATK   Sebastian NYLUND (1Y)
MID   Nic DEMENTIEVA
MID   Jaan REUSSER (1Y)
MID   Povl KAZIMIR (DSQ)
——————————
HAKUSHIYA (HKA):
GKP   Anggun DELAUNAY
DEF   Susu BELAFONTE
DEF   Elio JAMAL (DNF) -> Mito ALAINA
DEF   Winter MINOGUE
DEF   Damian MONTAIGNE (1Y)
ATK   Reggie KIM (1Y)
ATK   Lily IKUTA
ATK   Kanata AMURO
ATK   Dannii PAPARIZOU (1Y)
MID   Cher SCHWEITZER
MID   Aden NEUWIRTH
MID   Athena KAPSIS (DNF) -> Auli’i SARKISIAN
——————————
GO: PIS - J. Hagen (30’), E. Niemi (57’), S. Nylund (89’); 
       HKA - K. Amuro (28’), A. Kapsis (50’), D. Paparizou (87’)
WARN: PIS - A. Miroshnichenko (45’, for delaying the restart of play after the halftime break),
                  D. Eisenhauer (53’, for intentionally tripping on A. Kapsis), 
                  J. Reusser (65’, for deliberately leaving the playing field without explicit permission from any referee), 
                  H. Aigner (74’, for making unauthorized marks on the playing field),
                  S. Nylund (80’, for verbally distracting L. Ikuta),
                  J. Hagen (84’, for denying K. Amuro their goalscoring opportunity),
                  O. Ohm (86’, for attempting to deceive the referees by feigning a spinal injury), 
                  J. Braun (87’, for switching places with Aigner during play); 
           HKA - D. Paparizou (6’, for failing to observe the required free kick distance), 
                    D. Montaigne (68’, for failing to observe the required free kick distance),
                    R. Kim (81’, for apparently giving P. Kazimir the middle finger)
SUB: PIS - E. Niemi -> E. Polland (14’, after Niemi experienced an episode of anaphylaxis); 
        HKA - A. Kapsis -> A. Sarkisian (53’, after Kapsis got intentionally tripped on and rushed to a nearby hospital),
                 E. Jamal -> M. Alaina (81’, after Jamal got violently struck at and rushed to a nearby hospital)
DSQ: PIS - D. Eisenhauer (54’, auto-ejection after a second yellow card for arguing with the head referee over his first yellow card),
                P. Kazimir (81’, for violently striking at E. Jamal + calling L. Ikuta and K. Amuro the J-word);
        HKA - none

[Delte]

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Conania 1-1 Delte
Citizen journalist and 'Green Hedge' travelling ultra Tyrell de Turqua for a lightning quick stop over in Auno, Conania for the Chippy Dinner Wrap-Up

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I've been all over the multiverse supporting The Reps and suffice it to say the Away Team Mission always gives you something to write home about. Discovering that for the first of two away matches on the same day we would only have a few minutes in Conania before having to get to TJUN-ia for the second leg of the trip made the logistics extremely tricky. I have to say I missed a large portion of this unexpected result where the second string of the Away Team Mission laboured to a surprise draw and Pol Ighton got the all-important equaliser. Or was it Nol Ighton?

A few minutes later...

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TJUN-ia 1-6 Delte
Citizen journalist and 'Green Hedge' travelling ultra Tyrell de Turqua in TJUN-ia City, TJUN-ia for Radio Luxinterior

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As I just said, I've been all over the multiverse supporting The Reps and suffice it to say it can be pretty challenging on double-header awaydays when matches seem to happen nearly simultaneously. Getting from A to B or C to T can be a challenge but everything is moving so much faster out here you hardly notice. And lets be honest, I'm only here to cheer along and applaud politely and write a few words afterward. Those fellas out there with the red shirts on have it infinitely harder, what with having to play twice in five minutes at different ends of the multiverse. Mind you, they seemed to have sent the main team on ahead to TJUN-ia City, where the Reps did extremely well. I'm given to understand - not being a stat man myself - this was their biggest win on the road, equalling victory in the alphabet soup of Serdtygu back in '91. Ro Manse-Camms got a hatrick to endear himself to the Green Hedge ultras, while Hennequin Perdu's brace and one from Chipper Osgood sealed an exhausting few minutes on the road with the Away Team Mission.

I heard the home team had a day off, which was nice.

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Even By Your Usual Standards
4/6 - An Interview With Widow Arrinburton, The Notorious

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The Rise & Rise of Coach Ida Spankhurst

‘Even by their usual standards,’ said Widow Arrinburton, speaking to the sports reporter Kim Samrodd after her interview with the All-Week Super Ultra Premier Football Association for the role of Chief, ‘I thought the under-21 Representatives who failed to bring home the Independents Cup Trophy (or whatever) were in stunningly poor form. Selecting a Screve from Gangrene Mountain and busting him out of jail, for example. Not on my watch.’

(When it became acceptable in polite company to call the Screvenors from the next valley along ‘Screves’ I cannot quite recall, and it really shouldn’t be acceptable - she all but implied they were ‘dirty Screves’ too; how we all laughed awkwardly when the old ladies of Rake Teinton started to complain about political correctness gone mad and now, somehow, that tolerance of intolerance has become intolerably incorrect and people who should know better, like Widow Arrinburton and The Editor of the Oswark Parish Advertiser, seem to feel it’s alright to express such incorrectitudes in public).

(Also, where does she get off being so hard on the young Reps who reached the final of the Independent Associations Championship at their very first attempt? And let’s not forget Pokey Fayle, the Screvenor on special parole, not only behaved impeccably but was also an extremely effective centre half).

(Anyway what does she even know about football and why is she so keen to get involved in the organisation of the sport when everyone knows the only sports provided for the people of Rake Teinton is the Standing Badminton Weekend in the early spring and we all know how that went last time - debacle from start to finish. They couldn’t organise a shootout in a sports hall, that lot).

‘I am confident I am the best candidate’ continued the pontificating Widow Arrinburton, ‘to right the wrongs of your football game in the valley, return local people to the heart of the Representative team, and not allow someone like the Tumbrans - the Tumbrans, mind you - to score a single goal against us in any game under any circumstances. There will be no more conniving Wightlings, no more greedy Taxhavnites, no more spunging Cooperites, and definitely no more dirty Screves earning selection to represent us, the good pure-blooded citizens of the Delte Valley.’^[1]

(I mean, Christopher Almighty, what the actual?)

(Pfft. Don’t get worked up. She’s just a joke candidate. She’ll never get elected to the FA).

One week later, at Tunn’s Farm, the HQ of the FA:

‘We are delighted to introduce to you, members of the sporting press, our new Chief, the highly qualified and ambitious Mrs. Tyrona Arrinburton (Widowed). She will be delighted to answer your questions now, but please note she is not taking any questions on team tactics, the rules of football, or general sports-related lines of enquiry. Please stick to unnecessary political campaign questions, or anything to do with deportation of undesirables.’

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[1]Of course as the financial underwriters of everything Deltic, the ‘greedy Taxhavnites’ were quickly forgiven and remain available for selection.

[Wight]

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The Gentlemen Interregnum
3/6 - The Jahwallawalla Plan of ’88

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Or, why Wight, why now?

At The Office of Slight Returns, a scruffy rented suit above a launderette on Calle Tamarindes in the shabby business district of San Mustardo, Tapalupé City, Tequilo, the Wightling Apple-certified engineer Easy Bennett was busy at his temporary workstation trying to wire up a wifi receiver to Georgie Gynn’s old Lisa-2 computer. Georgie Gynn, the office intern, was trying to look busy nearby assisting the Gentlemen Interregnum by lightly dusting at the filing cabinets and stealing glances in Easy’s direction.

He really could turn his hand to anything, Georgie was thinking. I probably have a few things he could fix at home too, she was thinking. Like me, she was thinking.

Anyway.

Messrs. Couth & Ruly were in the office next door, planning the Slight Return of Wight. They’d just been on the phone to Les Jawallawalla, an old Apoxian friend who had been hired by the Gentlemen Interregnum to help out back in ’88. Obviously things had gone awry and the return never happened, but the plan had been a good one:

At that time, Búa, Creator-Manager of Wight (for want of a better pithy job title) had long since been annihilated in the Quantum Spaghetti Incident by that old devil The Basileus; and the country of Wight which existed in Ao was expelled for causing a zombie apocalypse, or at least for not helping to stop one, because as the Falcanians were apt to cite, ‘if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the cohort standing blindfolded against the wall who we are going to shoot now’. Wight the country was no more. Búa was no more, nor were his carnival troop of the uncanny, nor that country of his that was a great big sentient bubble universe, burst in the ructions of eschatological rending. Boom! Or more accurately, ‘pfff!’, if I recall correctly.

When all this apocalypticola was going off, there were naturally a few travelling salesmen, itinerant labourers and other peripatetic devils of Wight still abroad in the world who missed the full stop at the end of the bubbleverse and were rendered stateless. Messrs. Couth & Ruly, their good friend Duke Aim and a fiendish calculator called Charles Babbage were among those who found themselves stranded in the reality of Enness, and decided to pull off a massive con trick to get themselves back on the map. In on the job were the interchangeable troilists John, Hassan & Mindy Typical, of 23 Suburbicon Drive, Upper Cordial - which is a place not far from where you live - and of course the Apoxian fellow, Les Jawallawalla, who was snatched off a ghost plane that disappeared somewhere inside the Bostopia Triangle.

The group, who called themselves The Office of Slight Returns, came up the cunning plan to gatecrash the Declaration of Foxchester and re-establish Wight in the shiny new region called Anaia. It damn nearly worked too. Just that small matter of The Anaialation Incident. Gah. So close. We would’ve got away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky kids.

[Gnejs]

The End(a) of Times

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A blog about the decline of Union football (because of Enda Clentin)

I'll tell you what I hate about Enda Clentin.

I hate that he lets his woman stand up for him instead of doing so himself!!!! That’s right, I’m on to you, Brenda Blymmins of 33 Mange Street in Oswark, Delte, with IP-address 1234567881093!!!!! Or should I say, I am on to you Clench_is_King or #supportEnda, or maybe Dandelion_Pride or the extremely unimaginative #teamClench?!? Did you really think you could hide that kind of deceit?! Suffice to say, I am an experienced blogger and I know a thing or two about keeping tabs on my user base!!!! A man would come out and face me - figuratively speaking, like leave a comment of his own or something to that effect - but Enda Clentin sticks his lady dog on me! Uhhhh, I am soooo scared. NOT!!!

Comments:

By: The_Real_Brenda_Blymmins

Yes, apologies for the deception, it was perhaps childish of me. But I could not only stand by and watch you slander one of the greatest footballing minds and sweetest of men.

Reply by: The End(a) of Times

Enda Clentin is to Union football what a fork is to Baggielandian lasagna! A harbinger of death, destruction and societal decline, that is!!!! He is the one and only reason why The Dandelions will never ascend to any higher level and actually win something!!!!!!!! Tell him that!

Reply by: The_Real_Brenda_Blymmins

Once again you omit to speak of the realities! Enda’s Rocky Men (which is what we often call the Gnejs national team back in the valley) are putting on a great performance! A steady win against the fellows of Ishadonia, and a solid, respectable draw against Sudilia is just what one would expect and hope for. They are living up to their seed and remain safely nestled in second place, as nature intended it!

Reply by: The End(a) of Times

Yea, nature. NOT!!!!!

Reply by: The End(a) of Times

Enda Clentin will find a way to screw over The Dandelions and once again rob them of qualification! Mark my words, that devil dog will be the end(a) of any dreams of the 96th World Cup!

By: The_Real_Brenda_Blymmins

I have just about had it with you, mister! Such vile bile! If you do not cease and desist, I will speak to my son about teaching you a lesson (my son is quite handy with personal computers!)

Reply by: The End(a) of Times

Uhhhh, I AM SOOOOO SCARED. NOT!!!!

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Losing One’s Bearings

Previous Chapters of Losing One's Bearings:
Chapter One
Chapter Two (including map of Port Kejm)
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine

CHAPTER TEN

Queenside

Adeimantus Nilsson tried to discreetly rub his eye and not lose focus. It had been long hours and late nights since they got the Oberour case, and he was starting to feel it. At the other side of the table, Nicole Pouliquen was also looking tired, her beautiful face more than two shades of weary and her eyes slightly swollen from what one could only suppose was a lack of sleep and too many tears. Despite that she still kept herself composed and radiated something Adeimantus could only describe as grace or perhaps worthiness, if that was even a word. It was impressive, and admirable, that she could keep it together under the circumstances; her husband dead and Detective Constable Bergman giving her a most unsavory treatment.

The interview room was a sterile looking one with grey being the dominant color, only offset by the brown chairs. It wasn’t a room to feel comfortable in, which was of course the point, but Adeimantus felt it was somehow wrong to see Nicole sitting there. Normally, they would’ve spoken to a bereaved widow in the comfort of her own home, but Bergman had insisted she come down to make a formal statement at the station. And then he had started to submit her to questioning. Uncontroversial things at first - how long they had been staying in The Union and the nature of their stay, when she last saw her husband or her whereabouts the last couple of days - but then he had shifted and the nature of his question rather made it seem like she was a suspect. Which she very well could be, of course, but in Adeimantus' view they should’ve let her remain a bereaved widow and treat her, and her loss, with the due respect for at least a couple of days. She had hardly even formally identified her husband for rock’s sake. Bergman obviously disagreed.

„You must tell us the information about enemies to your husband. I say it again and over, this is what you must tell us,“ Bergman growled in a heavily accented and somewhat confusing attempt at the common tongue. Nicole Pouliquen had not been comfortable being spoken to in Gnejsian, and neither Bergman nor Adeimantus could claim to know much Azertienne, so they were stuck trying to communicate in a language foreign to all of them. Adeimantus straightened up, refocused on the woman opposite him, and tried to catch up with the exchange between her and Bergman.

„There is no use to withhold the information, Mrs Pouliquen. We only want to find out who hurt your man, and I would have thought you would share a desire that was the same for us,“ Bergman continued, as Nicole Pouliquen shook her head and looked to be in limbo between grief-induced fatigue and a simmering rage.

„No enemies I know of, I have told you this many times. Rodolphe was a well-liked and respected man. I will say no more until my embassy representative is here.“

The information Bergman was accusing her of withholding was pertaining to her husband’s alleged role as a drug kingpin in a vast multinational syndicate trying to gain a foothold in The Union - where apparently ridiculous amounts of heroin was being smuggled in their highly innovative ball bearings - and his murder being a consequence of a conflict with one of his Oberour accomplices trying their hands at a power grab. They had found no indication pointing towards anything of the kind, but it was rather a «strategy» Bergman was employing (he had told Adeimantus as much beforehand). The aim of the strategy wasn’t lost on Adeimantus, Bergman was trying to annoy and unsettle Mrs. Pouliquen, and then corner her into divulging something worthwhile. It wasn’t working. She only continued looking Bergman right in the face and repeated what she had been saying since the beginning. While she had been willing to answer some of his initial questions, she was now adamant to not offer up anything until she had consulted with the Oberour embassy. Bergman had sent for a uniform to get in touch with the embassy, but that had been a while ago and Adeimantus was fairly certain Bergman had asked them to drag it out another forty five minutes or so at least.

„You say no drugs and no dirty business, Mrs. Pouliquen, but then what is the way you explain the husband you have lying dead in the woodlands with that great hole in the forehead? The honest and clean type it does sound like not,“ Bergman continued pushing, and Adeimantus could see tiny tears forming at the corner of Nicole Pouliquen’s eyes, but her face had lost none of its resolve.

To Bergman’s credit, his bullying methods usually garnered results in many cases they’d worked on the last year. While undoubtedly a man of many shortcomings, Adeimantus had been impressed with his senior partner’s considerable experience with, and knowledge of, the common conflicts within the northside’s street level crime milieu, and his preferred modus operandi of targeting family members and coercing information from them often proved effective. However, this wasn’t a debt collector taking it too far, or some brute assaulting his girlfriend one time too many. There was something more to this, and Adeimantus suspected they weren’t getting any closer to it by making an enemy of Nicole Pouliquen, and by proxy likely the Oberour embassy as well. He knew the Cavaco drug angle was just strategy, and his digging indicated it all seemed like a legitimate business, responsible for supplying the world with state of the art ball bearings, used in «such diverse areas as medical technology or your everyday home appliances.» But perhaps there was something else there? Or maybe something in the personal sphere? Either way, Adeimantus was sure they would’ve learned more, and made sure they were moving in the right direction, if they had played it differently with Nicole Pouliquen. He could tell, feel, there was something out of the ordinary with the whole affair, but it was so completely out of his grasp he had no choice but to follow Bergman’s lead. In all honesty, he was surprised they had been allowed to continue heading up the investigation once the «international» aspect of it had been ascertained, and that some deep-state suits from the MFA hadn’t come swooping in covering the world with their redactor pens. Or Division at least handing the case over to some of the other Detectives. Bergman had experience, sure, but he was by no means their sharpest mind. And Adeimantus, he was a rookie, no way around that fact.

„Yes, Mrs. Pouliquen the embassy person is coming to you, but just answer my questions, any innocent person will not not tell us these things, you are making yourself a very suspicious person in this time,“ Bergman continued, while trying to emerge victorious from a staring contest with Nicole Pouliquen.

It was becoming painstakingly obvious that Bergman had his eyes set on the murder being something «internal» to the Oberour community. This all started after they had spoken to the ambassador. Bergman had disliked, and developed a deep-seated suspicion towards, the man from the moment their eyes met. Part racism, part distaste for authority and anyone obviously located higher than himself on the socioeconomic food chain, seemed like the most plain reasons for his decision of the de Blois man’s complicity. Probably mostly the racism. Adeimantus had himself never experienced Bergman being uncouth or untoward, but the old man’s profound and ingrained racism was no secret; he had seen him interact with enough suspects of foreign descent to know Bergman had a proclivity to not only base his judgements on evidence. Adeimantuns always felt uncomfortable thinking about what his partner really thought about him or his family, and while his son was dying to see the investigative department at the station and meet the other Detectives, he had continued to make excuses for a fear of what an encounter with Bergman might look like.

Nicole Pouliquen said nothing and had moved on from the eye-locking challenge to studying her fingers; it seemed like she intended to make good on her promise not to say anything further. They all sat in silence for a few minutes. Adeimantus looked over at Bergman, who had also relaxed his gaze on Nicole Pouliquen and instead inspected something in the thick case file he had in front of him. Finally, Bergman cleared his throat, got up, and said

„Well, Mrs. Pouliquen, your ambassador man will be here now soon with you, and we will leave you with them. We will come back at you with more contact and examinations very soon.”

Nicole Pouliquen looked up with a rapid movement of her head. There were definitely traces of shock, and, Adeimantus thought, something else, something undefinable, on her face. „Is David coming here?” she asked with a puzzled face.

Bergman turned around and looked at her. „I do not know the name of the embassy man they are sending to you, Mrs. Pouliquen.” Bergman then gave Adeimantus a short nod, and the latter also got up and exited the room.

As soon as they had reached the hallway, Bergman turned around and gently slapped Adeimantus on the shoulder with the case file. «Did you see that Adei? The look on her face, the way she said his name, first name no less! Got her in the end, the dirty little minx. They’re in on it together, probably some twisted honor killing or such savagery. Not a word to anyone, we need to tread carefully with these bastards. But mark my words, Adei, we will see them going down for this.» Bergman laughed loudly to himself and started making his way down the hallway.

Adeimantus remained, profoundly confused. He wasn’t sure what had startled him the most, Bergman’s creative interpretation of a facial expression feeding into his seemingly unending propensity for conspiracy, or the fact that he had almost affectionately called him «Adei».

[Audioslavia]

Bulls Fail to Capitalise
On a miserable night in Sao Simone, Audioslavia fail in bid to open lead at top, fall to second

Having suffered a disappointing home reverse to Cabo Azure on the opening day of qualifying, Audioslavia had bounced back to win five games on the bounce and take a lead at the top of Group 19.

It was a lead helped in part by the profligacy of our now twice conquerors Cabo Azure elsewhere. Saterun would hold them to a draw, before a dramatic 3-1 reverse to Aphrilia opened the door for the Bulls to take a five point lead with a game in hand.

That game against Aphrilia was, according to our Upset Scale, the biggest upset in qualifying at the point, overtaken only recently by 1-seeds Farfadillis and their hilarious one-nothing defeat to a Qusmo side enjoying their return to international football.

The Upset Scale attempts to measure the size of an upset in international football. Entries below the Zero line show positive results for weaker teams against stronger ones.
Click for an interactive version

On this scale, a tie between two teams divides their difference in rank by two. A win by one team over another multiplies the difference in rank by the difference in the goals scored for each team in that game, plus one. Farfadillis (rank: 44.94) lost to Qusmo (rank: 0) last night, and that -89 point upset is on the bottom right. Valanora's three-goal destructions of both Gorutimania and Gunnison Telluride are worth 205.08 points each.

Back near the bottom, Cabo Azure's 3-1 defeat to Aphrilia is worth -69.72 points on the upset scale. It's that kind of result that helped propel the Bulls to the lead of their group. All they needed to do was keep it by doing something this side have repeatedly failed to do in recent years: Get a positive result against a stronger team.

As Maçaricas refused to oblige. Veteran full-back Heitor Soares would create a chance for Pio Mendonca before half-time, with the striker side-footing a neat finish past Hein Hélder to ramp up the difficulty of the Bulls's task. Zendagorta would go close before half-time, with Bruhn skying a glorious chance over the bar on the hour mark, somehow getting his foot fully underneath a slide-rule pass across the area and clearing the bar from six yards out with the goal at his mercy. Anselmo Santos, who plies his trade in Audioslavia for KT Moreazerua, would be the one to land the killing blow, creating space with a glorious first-touch inside the box and hammering a low shot beyond Helder for two nothing.

Audioslavia once again require Cabo Azure to get themselves back below the zero-line of the Upset Scale if they're to have any hope of an automatic qualification spot. Furthermore, they have to do so while avoiding the chart themselves. Saltidia at home should pose no real problem, but Saterun away will be a huge test, as will the visit to Cabo conquerors Aphrilia, now in third, and the final game at home to a Tero al Disco side whose own home match against Cabo Azure may represent our best chance at a future upset for As Maçaricas.

[A m e n r i a]

Origins: Malvina

Part 7

Blam blam blam

Three gunshots can be heard from the streets that day, scattering what few civilians were around them. The criminal stood silenced in shock to see the woman in front of him has turned her index and middle fingers into handgun barrels, and shot off his hand. His shock turned into anger as he reformed his hand and pushed the cash register into his belly, allowing the mass of soil that composed his body swallow it like quicksand. "So, you're Awakened, huh? That means I don't have to hold back!" he growled, reaching towards Jieun with both arms.

Blam blam

Jieun managed to land two shots, but it seemed that he had hardened enough for the bullets to merely punch shallow holes into him. Unfortunately for her, he grabbed her and was immobilized in his arms before she could fire another shot. "Now get lost!" He yelled, throwing her into a wall, blowing a large hole into it and sending its denizens scrambling upstairs in fear. She saw a shadow loom over her as she sat up, and rolled out of the way, just in time to dodge his hand, now formed into a rocky hammer. Jieun ran circles around him, showering him with bullets which no longer seemed to do much to him as she dodged his attacks, and worse yet, he seemed to have been emboldened by this fact. "What's the matter? You a one trick pony? Can't do anything other than turning your fingers into pea shooters?"

Now, it was his turn to go on the offensive. He slowly walked towards her, swinging his arms like wrecking balls as he backs her step by step into an alleyway. Jieun shot his leg, then shoulder, then head, nothing seemed to help. He kept on creeping towards her like an unstoppable juggernaut, and taking one look back, she realized there was no escape.

[The 14 Stars]

Dash to the top!

As the Starsians continue on very good campaign for their world cup ticket coach Walcott starts to get more at ease in this huge country, while quite big, busy and quite direct at first the people turned out to be actually friendly.
Its just that the way of life in Starsian society is about 10 times faster then you'd experience it in Sylestone with a schedule of a 1001 things to do everyday her days are busy but the team is coming along very well.
Veteran players play their matches and keep themselves fit and rookies either make their debut or get more playtime during subsitute roles in matches giving the team's future generation the first steps on the grand stage.

In all this busy work she almost forgot that a day off sometimes could be nice too, on her day off she went with Rockwell who had become a good friend of hers by now to see more of the nation and check out some of the culture.
She discovered that the country knew a vast amount of climates and people, from the serious northerners to the very relaxed southerners all of them had their own way of life, food and culture divided in smaller districts within the country.
Unlike a real federation the districts had less autonomy and were bound to a central governing body but it was made sure that each district had an equal amount of seats and representation making it a fair and democratic system.

They had visited the Southeast the coast where tourism was one of the main sources of generating money and it was also home to last years champions team Phoenix United which she met briefly.
After this day she had learned alot more about the country and its people, and her hope certainly was that this could help in the way she coached the team to get them towards better results now and in the future aswell.

Matchday 5

Matchday 4 was where the country of Brookstation was the opponent and they were known currently as the strongest team around having won all their 5 previous games in an astonishing way.
Coach Walcott used the regular starting line-up, it was the strongest line-up they had and there was certainly no players currently capable of replacing any of them despite some positions having close battles for a starter spot.
Our team started off well immediately with good passing finding Elizabeth Phillips giving a pass to Schulz for him to shoot but the shot was saved by the goalkeeper with quite the ease and a tough day for the team would be on the horizon.
As the goalkeeper threw the ball back into the game the defenders played themselves out of the Starsian pressure and advanced to the midfield where they overran our opposition and a deadly pass in the heart of the defense was given, Williams was near the ball but a striker was first and pushed her aside then avoiding a sliding from Zaratti.
In a 1 on 1 with keeper Davis Brookstation scored the first goal in a dramatic manner showing why they are the best team around.

Before halftime a corner kick caused the second goal for Brookstation as Edwards was fauled for a header but the faul was not seen by the referee and they refused to cancel the controversial goal.
This caused halftime to be a moment for the Starsian players to review their own game and see how they could turn this around in the second half as they were not bad but simply couldn't contain the strong offense from Brookstation.
In the second half the starting line-ups remained the same but the Starsian team seemed more confident and this was visible on the field as Zaratti stole the ball and passed it to the front to Joy Sol who searched for Kira Blade who with a run surprised her direct opponent allowing her to give a pass to Schulz allowing him to score the first goal of the match in the 54th minute for our team.
Despite being a goal down this was certain.
As our confidence grew pass after pass was made and Brookstation seemed not able to stop this renewed confidence and the attack continued resulting in the 74th minute in the second goal and equalizer after a great long distance shot from Layla Raharinaivo fromthe second line bringing her team on equal distance with Brookstation and a chance for a draw emerged slowly.

A single substitution was made in the 77th minute, Ozan Karazhan was taken off in favor of rookie player Lina Hansen the youngest player of the team but she had during the qualification cycle and this season proven her worth often.
With her added to the team the game improved but all was lost in the 86th minute when an attack was stopped by Davis but the defenders werent in time to stop the second shot and it hit the back of the net making it a win for Brookstation.
Despite a great game this was the first loss they had to endure during this qualification cycle after a good fight, it was the question if this would make or break their confidence.

Matchday 5

On the 5th matchday the team played Srednjaci a team hard to pronounce and also hard to play against they had a decent record but so did we and with our strong line-up we would be making a good impression.
There was also one change in the line-up this time, unlike previous matches Lina Hansen was this time a starter on the LM position in favor of Ozan Karazhan who had left a mixed impression so far sometimes playing great and other times playing so-so.
Coach Walcott wanted to see the effect on the game if Hansen were to be a starter, this would be her first full game and the coach knew that if things went south she could always still bring Karazhan in the second half.

This in the first half seemed to not be needed, combinations were flawless and she fit right in where Kira Blade in the 11th minute was able to cross the ball but due to an error the ball turned away from Schulz.
A defender caught the ball but had not expect Joy Sol the midfielder to show up herself upfront and steal the ball paving her own way through the defense the score the first goal for the national team after beating the goalkeeper in a 1 on 1 silencing the whole stadium at once as they were stunned by this great display from their midfielder.
Before halftime the equalizer was scored from a corner though and Davis was left unable to get the ball with such a good header no goalkeeper could have stopped such a shot even the best would have let it through.

In the second half Schulz was subbed off in favor of veteran Christian Fourseasons and he brought them the winning goal in the 80th minute after a free kick went wrong and Kira Blade brought the ball back in again.
A volley kick went fast past the keeper and into the back of the net, this allowed them to collect 3 more points and put themselves back in a better position again with other matches in sight keeping their eyes on qualification.

[Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove]

We broke post football!

Sacré-Coeur district, Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer - Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove broke post football! A huge 2-1 victory at home against Ko-oren on matchday 8! And the week before, the Tapirs beat Sarzonia, who'se winning everything in every sports lately, 2-0. With Ko-oren's recent lack of success, the group leaders are currently Sarzonia after 8 games. On week 7, both Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove and Sarzonia headed to the Great Calanian Desert, more precisely in the Aztec town of Xicohtzinco. Xicohtzinco, roughly 50,000 inhabitant, has a professional football team in the Nova Calanian premiership but the team plays in a 7,500 seated baseball stadium, the Xicohtzinco Community College Ballpark. Xicohtzinco is also a 5 hours train ride from Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer. Manager Gilles Bourguignon was suspended for yelling at the referrees and throwing things onto the field on game 6 after Rea San Vegas scored their winning goal at the 90 +8 minute. Isabella Sanchez Lopez was the interim coach. Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin was still in the starting XI, playing side midfielder or wing while Alyssa McCaskill took Emily Schmidt's spot at side defense. The Jean-Jacquois and Burnhamese worn their black and red away uniform rather than the yellow-red home uniform, too bright. Sarzonia were dressed in grey. Nothing to report in the first half and the score was still 0-0 at halftime. The Tapirs attacked at the 55th minute when Louis-Philippe Berlinguette made a cross to Allie O'Hara who heads the ball into the net. Kyle Klingenberg had the ball at the 82nd minute and he passed it to Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau who kicked it past John Wells. The final score was 2-0 Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove.

GAME SUMMARY

55th   GOAL ST-JEAN-JACQUES ET BoS   Allie O'Hara assisted by Louis-Philippe Berlinguette
82nd   GOAL ST-JEAN-JACQUES ET BoS   Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau assisted by Kyle Klingenberg

On week 8, Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove received Ko-oren at Terrain de soccer 1 au Complexe sportif national (Soccer Ground 1 at National Sports Complex). Weather was cold, it was only 26 °C or 79 °F and it was raining. Not heavy rain, just light rain. The team worn their yellow-red home uniform and the dragonflies were dressed in black with a yellow diagonal line. Gilles Bourguignon was back with the team after serving a one game ban. Something odd happened at the 33rd minute, when the ball went out of bounds, Edou Bittencourt left the game in a hurry and ran to the locker room, we didn't see him for the rest of the game and, once the game was over, we learned that he travelled back to Ko-oren for personal reason. What happened? His wife gave birth? Death in the family? Something else? We have no idea. Because Goswijn Naaldemaker didn't made the trip to Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer, third string goalkeeper Carl Malmstroom came in as a sub at the 33rd minute. The Tapirs attacked at the 45 +2 minute when Louis-Philippe Berlinguette made a short backward pass to Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin, who had a better angle. She kicks the ball and it goes in. Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove takes a 1-0 lead at halftime. The Jean-Jacquois and Burnhamese increased their lead at the 64th minute when, on a corner kick, Tristan Gibouleau-Beaudoin heads the ball past Malmstroom. Down 2-0, Ko-oren started taking more offensive chances, which is unusual for them, and it paid off at the 87th minute when Amand Mathey made a header pass to Toshitsugu Hiraide who heads it past Serge Bleau-Bean. The score is 2-1 Tapirs and it's too late for Ko-oren, this is the final score. We broke post football! But, honestly, for post football to be effective, you need a good goalkeeper and Carl Malmstroom didn't do his job.

With these two wins in a row agianst two good teams, Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove is back with the pack! The pack is all these nations in group 18 who fight for the 2nd place, and with Ko-oren's recent failures, the pack can even hope for the 1st place and Ko-oren has become part of the pack instead of being ahead of the pack. Sarzonia is leading the group with 14 points in 7 games while the Tapirs are 4th with 11 points with the Ochre Islands and Rea San Vegas not far behind. On matchday 9, the Tapirs will travel to Carpathia and Ruthenia and I've heard good things about this nation. This nation have one part who'se known worldwide and multiversewide for their pastas, mozzarella cheese and sports cars and the other part of Carpathia and Ruthenia is known for their thermal and mineral water baths. I think we're going to the pasta part. Renato Ramirez De Jesus will be suspended for having too many yellow cards and Zia Guerrero Lopez will replace him in the starting XI. She's the daughter of assistant manager Isabella Sanchez Lopez. Then, on matchday 10, the Tapirs will receive the Ochre Islands in Ostrow Krolewski. The match will be played at Stadion Azteca, home of Club Anaia. It will be played on may 15th, which marks the Anaia Day. We'll have live bands, street food, fireworks and everything. It will be awesome! Renato Ramirez De Jesus is expected to be back in the starting XI.

Starting XI vs Carpathia and Ruthenia - Stadio dei Sogni, Rivalto, Carpathia and Ruthenia
Manager: Gilles Bourguignon
Starting XI: GK Bleau-Bean - SD Alyssa McCaskill - CD Tristan Gibouleau-B - CD Guerrero Lopez - SD Nathan McCaskill - DCM Fauteux-McGrath - SM Charlotte Gibouleau-B - SM Scarlett McCaskill - S Berlinguette - S Goudreau-Luneau - S O'Hara

Starting XI vs Ochre Islands - Stadion Azteca, Ostrow Krolewski, Odlegla Ziemia - 31 °C and sunny
Manager: Gilles Bourguignon
Starting XI: GK Bleau-Bean - SD Alyssa McCaskill - CD Tristan Gibouleau-B - CD Ramirez De Jesus - SD Nathan McCaskill - DCM Fauteux-McGrath - SM Charlotte Gibouleau-B - SM Scarlett McCaskill - S Berlinguette - S Goudreau-Luneau - S O'Hara

GAME SUMMARY

45th +2   GOAL ST-JEAN-JACQUES ET BoS   Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin assisted by Louis-Philippe Berlinguette
64th   GOAL ST-JEAN-JACQUES ET BoS   Tristan Gibouleau-Beaudoin (corner kick)
87th   GOAL KO-OREN   Toshitsugu Hiraide assisted by Amand Mathey

Cheese Time! Many wonders if the Aztecs produces any cheese? The answer is yes. The equatorial climate on the west and arid or semi arid climate on the east isn't suitable but they imports cows from Old Calania (or North Calania), hides them from the sun in pyramids, collects their milk, and make cheese inside the pyramids. What else you thought would be the purpose of pyramids? They don't produce a lot of cheese and, because they're located inland, they keep their cheese for their domestic market. This is why Aztec cheese isn't known. I tried some semi soft cheese.. and it was kinda good. Even better than the ones from Ochre Island and Rea San Vegas. 7/10. Then, we were back in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer for our match against Ko-oren but I already tasted our cheese. Next week, we will be in Carpathia and Ruthenia, and I've heard good things about their cheese. Finally a nation who will challenge Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer?

Cheese rankings

St-Jean-Jacques	 10/10
Aztec Confederacy 7/10
Rea San Vegas     6/10
Ochre Islands	  5/10
Ko-oren	          4/10
Shanzhou           N/A

Paul-André Veilleux

Two more nations joins the Nova Calanian union!

Shanzhou, Shanzhou - Two more nations joins the Nova Calanian union. In mid and late april 2025, the National Congress of Shanzhou (NCS), which is made of General Zhang, the leader, and 7 of his non elected friends choosen by himself voted in favor of the Nova Calanian union, making Shanzhou the 2nd nation to join the union. Two days later, the Aztec Council of Elders (ACE), made of Supreme Leader Moctezuma XIX and 16 elders - 4 from each 4 Aztec tribes - voted in favor of the union, making the Nova Calanian Aztec Confederacy the 3rd country to join the Nova Calanian union. Next week, Odlegla Ziemia and Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer are expected to join the union. Odlegla Ziemia's method is pretty weird. Instead of a vote by the parliament, they will do a "referendum" and the whole population will vote wheter or not they accept to join the union.That is really weird, a "referendum"... I've never seen that. The "referendum" is scheduled for sunday may 4th 2025, so may the 4th be with you!

Anne-Charlotte McDermott

[Ko-oren]

Fantasy Today
Top Three in FP: 1) Valanora (25), 2) Xanneria and Chromatika (22)
Top Three in FP per match: 1) Valanora (3.57), 2) Sylestone (3.17), 3) Xanneria and Chromatika (3.14)
Top Three in FP per match minus Pot FP per match: 1) Auprussia (1.91), 2) Crpostran (1.35), 3) Myrtle Beach and Qusmo (1.34)

Wait - what's metric three? It's got a confusing title but it's pretty simple. We've been looking for a way to contrast teams across differing floors and ceilings, those being their starting KPB and their true potential. It's unlikely that we have the complete mix for a single, defining number of how good of a pick a team is - taking into account that better teams simply should offer a lot more points and it's a lot harder for them to overperform, while not overvaluing lower ranked teams that overperform as it's much easier for them to overperform - there's simply a lot more of them so inevitably one or two will join the big teams every cycle.

The metric we're using for now contrasts a team's FP per match with the FP per match of their pot on average: pot 1 teams get a lot of FP on average, so to be in this category you need to perform flawlessly as a pot 1 team, but it does a fantastic job of getting the gems out of pots 4 and lower. As it turns out, Pot 4 scores an average of 1.09 FP per match, Pot 5 gets 1.04, and Pot 6 yields about 1.08 - these three pots showing there's not that much between being pot 4 or 6, while the differences add up quickly above that (Pot 3: 1.57, Pot 2: 2.22, Pot 1: 2.55). KPB-wise, the differences between the three pots are a lot bigger (12.99, 8.5, 4.3 on average, respectively, for 4, 5, and 6) but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't seem like that makes a massive difference. KPB as a predictive metric is shoddy at best, of course, and should only be used for its intended purpose, namely as a comprehensive summary of a team's past three cycles.

We're looking forward to some proposals from some number crunchers who think KPB can be improved on - to offer a better, single number that encompasses a team's efforts of the last half-ish decade. At the same time, we're wondering if Juliasterinthen will still be WCC President by the time that hurdle pops up - he's up for re-election. While Katanmak's faux pas (plural) haven't been forgotten domestically - the reveals from his interview about his Dragonfly debut, the manufactured results at World Cup 87 - and many Ko-orenites doubting whether even his two presidential election outcomes came together fairly - it looks like the international community has been largely positive of our representative. It's hard to tie an overarching theme to a president or a term, and it's certainly not a good idea to do that for something like football (now, we fully get it if it's a term of someone leading a country. Hell, a single Tumbran election cycle goes through more themes and twists than nearly all of the WCC's democratic history combined). Still, when you can bet on how a team will do in a qualification cycle - why can't you bet on who the President will be?

EDIT: Our lawyers tell us that's a bad idea.



The Prime Ministerial Appointment typically takes place behind closed doors more than anything, but mass media, and now social media, are making the candidates reconsider. For the first time, candidates feature on a live TV show where particularly divisive questions are asked and answered, and - god forbid - even the audience can send in their most important queries.

A studio in Amahne was quickly prepared and the candidates were brought over from the Capitals for the occasion. Noted presenter Beatrix Najugun was taken off her usual schedule (hosting Dahamidhin! - 'Escape!', a game show featuring brain teasers of a whole different caliber) to host the entire thing, with her familiar cadance of asking TV questions. There's a panel of journalists and the like to make sure the questions remain on topic and to ask necessary follow-up questions should our candidates manage to back out of an issue they're not comfortable with. They're still politicians, of course.

A few identical desks on a stage, names written in calligraphy - legibility wasn't the issue, everyone should know who's who. Laurderinthen in the middle, Gelogathingun and Sushorthinden to his immediate right and left, and Raupostinden and Gajuluthen posted to their sides. Maddya and Veldgozen were the final invitees, stuck to the side of the stage furthest from the middle. That's the seven, but everyone's here for the central three.



By now, the Dragonflies' record looks like WWWLWDL. Three wins to start, but only four more points added in the four matches that followed. We've come to expect very different things from our national team, but even a few years into Manguele, the team's not fully adopted the new ways. On the whole, results haven't been terrible, but we can't help but look at the other groups and see some other teams do far better. The grass is always greener, sure, and we've definitely been That Team who have qualified with more ease than deserved, but look at Valanora's seven point lead (!) in a group where Valentine Z have emerged as the prime challengers, while Eura and Ceni are flatlining. Josifovo's revelation-like cycle leaving them ahead of Zwangzug and the Squornshelan Remnant States, Flavovespia's 5 point lead that couldn't have happened to a nicer CAFA team (this is sarcasm, of course, obvious to anyone who has kept an eye on the various Ko-oren-Flavovespia games happening in the region), Brookstation's 6 point lead.

For every Valanora, there's a Brannfjord/Cassadaigua, with Group 20 having no team on more than 11 points, with Brannfjord's win over That Pink Team to open up the second half of qualifiers while Mytanija cannot catch a single break. And perhaps that's more the kind of team for us to look at: where we expect the Dragonflies to operate perfectly stringing together 1-0 wins, the fact that we haven't had a truly poor cycle in a while is something to look back on with pride. Coaching changes, style changes, and giving the keys to the castle to a Farf and overhauling the entire premise our national team is based on - so far it hasn't mattered. And don't forget the KPB ranking: completely beyond our actual World Cup results, through some absences, we've climbed to the top 10 for only the second time in our national team's history.

That doesn't mean that a loss to a team like Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove doesn't suck - but it's not the end of the world. Even four points in four matches is nothing we haven't bounced back from before. First we're going to the Golhampton Grounds in Garihnkatar for a meeting with Labalia, followed by a visit to Rea San Vegas, and if we've still not recovered from the slump after that, it's time to worry.

Do look at the bright spots: Nieuwboom and Senothonnau are the bright future of Straudum VV and the club's defensive prowess shines on in the national team. Nieuwboom had a shaky start but certainly wasn't at fault in the recent losses. And perhaps an even brighter spot is yGorllaeneal, playing in Farfadillis, embodying the style like no other. The defender from Maur and Todaka should pair up as the first two names on the team sheet. The biggest growth is still taking place on midfield, Laza continuing to develop for Miradela and him and yCinrhadd are the starting duo nobody saw coming five years ago.

One last remaining task for Manguele is simple: is he willing to commit to an XI full of 'his own guys' or do we continue to get a hybrid Post-Football/Relationist system? The latter might be using the people we have but it feels unsustainable - the next 180 minutes will tell us more about where we stand.