World Cup 91 [roleplays]

by **Saint Eleanor** » Wed May 11, 2022 4:42 pm

World Cup 91 - third matchday of qualification
Saint Eleanor 4 (Dekamela weMexala goals 35' and 71', Steve Pilchard goal 59', Darren Batchelor goal 90')
Sannyamathland 0

Sam Newbridge: "I was so effective that everybody thought I was the bully"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers talks to Saint Eleanor's newest star centreback about how he got tough - and why he won't stop
Originally published on Wednesday 14th April 1999

Grand Beach is the home of Willis fried chicken, founded by the eponymous Gregory in 1976 in an effort to capitalise on a hungry population that wanted to bounce back from the War of Independence feeling more at ease with themselves. Their first and grandest store is still there, a few hundred metres from the local football club on Albion Road; Jake Newbridge, one of their first employees, still prepares food there today, and he says he wouldn't trade it for the world. His son, Sam, now plays for Grand Beach - who are also owned by Gregory Willis. Is it a coincidence? "Absolutely not - you should look at how many people feared me back at school. Even the headteacher did!"

As well as being a lifelong lover of the sport, Newbridge accrued a reputation during community school as someone who was more than willing to fight back against the bullies that roved most of his year group's bottom sets, supposedly on the basis that "I told the staff once and they didn't do jack about it, so I thought screw it, they can't be trusted, let me do it myself. I was so effective that everybody thought I was the bully!" That category would seem to include Cathleen Wright, a classmate who was so disgusted by one incident in 1988 where he repeatedly slammed a well-known bully's face into the school field that she broke up with him - although they are now back together and engaged to be married in September. It even counts Grand Beach CS's PE department, who banned him from joining their Charles Trump Shield team in 1991 as ostensible punishment for his behavioural issues, among its ranks. They lost their first-round game 4-1 to Bramblewood. "No regrets here," he boasts; "if they'd seen how good I was off the pitch, I don't think we would have lost by that much. We might even have gone through but I really think it's too late to talk about that now."

None of this seemed to deter Grand Beach under Adam Salt, the natural choice for his signature, in 1993; although still vehemently denying any cronyism on Gregory Willis' part ("my dad barely ever talked to him about anything"), he claims to have been on good terms with his daughter and Terranean teacher Sophie ("pity she wasn't in charge of team selection that year"). Very little, however, could prepare him for running into team captain and legendary Tinhamptonian goalkeeper Julia Atherton when he was there. "People didn't fear me, they feared her, and even I'd admit she's a bit obnoxious at times: well-reasoned, but an elephant-sized hearing loss risk on a bad day. On a good day, we went to the pub - we still do - talk about how we do the 4-4-2 and who plays where and who's doing what and how we deal with different match situations and it seems to click together mostly. But yeah, if you paid me a dollar every time she shouted 'for pity's sake!' or sassed back at someone in that dressing room, I wouldn't be playing football - I'd be living in a big house and driving the fastest car ever made and having every last supermodel in Saint Eleanor on speed dial. All two of them!"

What are the three games which he believes sums up his development as a player best? "Number one is number one: 1993, trip to Nova Aegis, first game of the season, not a lot at stake, my name all over the papers as the one debutant who'd gotten into a lot of trouble at school, wanted that reputation gone. Salt asked me to back up Ellie Burton - now on the sub's bench, I'll admit - she marked George Guest, an icon of the Eleanorian game, I latched onto Ron[ald] Silliman, both kept quiet, balls cleanly won, a couple of little fouls but no problem - 1-0 to our guys. We came third that season, first time we'd ever done so, so I thought I'd done a good job. Well, most people thought I did. Julia rolled my eyes at me a few times and thought I was overestimating my own contribution - well, I'm nineteen, ma'am, never played professional football before, what the hell do you expect from me?"

Number two takes some thinking, but he ultimately goes for their 2-1 win while hosting Sword and Shield in 1996. "That was, if I may say so, the most unpredictable year in history: Juventud were good, the Unicorn were bad, Indy were really good, and then we have the Collegiates, who were rather poor. Then there were us: one point above them with three games to go, IFCF places on offer for the first time, everybody at the peak of their power or rising. We went one down, I took my eye off Stan Longley for a bit and all of a sudden he'd cut across a bit and rounded Julia but I learned from that error, got on him like a pitbull, the rest of the back four were stellar at keeping the other guys at bay, he didn't do anything the rest of the game and we scored twice to seal the deal. Pity we lost the two games after that, but at least we got a nice international tie with Galatica: a defeat, yes, even if it's one I'd love to relive time after time for other reasons."

And his third choice? "This is the cheat's way out, but every single game against Good Hope I've ever played! I've had about ten of them, I've won a lot of yellows, gotten myself sent off in '94 for tripping Jack Smith and '97 for ramming into Fally [Falareta] Wesevta, successfully pestered the ref to give offside in the other '97 game, got into a couple of shouting matches with Exandra Davies before she went Olympic way, grabbed Callum McArthur by the scruff of his neck a couple of times and told him to stop being weak and slippery and dovish and all of those other annoying words when we've let the blues get away with a huge chance they didn't deserve, even helped the boss out with the team talk for a few games when we were in the mud. Is there anything I haven't done against those allsorts?"

When Atherton retired, she passed the armband to Newbridge, who marked the occasion in 1998 by going an entire season without getting sent off for the first time. "I know I missed the 0-0 at Indy after racking up a lot of bookings, but the previous match was at Good Hope. What else did you expect? In fairness, I'm the big guy now, people look up to me, I've been trying my best to push the boundaries but I'll be the first to accept I don't always succeed." What of his most infamous dismissal, when he cold-clocked Sword and Shield's Maddie Gordon in the face during that goalless draw in '95? "The girl had been involved in all of the goals that they'd scored in... three games, I think, and I thought I take her out of the game, we have more of a chance. All credit to her for carrying on, I bumped into her at Dignity Cross a few months after the fact and I said sorry for that, really, and she was cool with me. I dragged her to the coffee place and she paid for my cup, which was quite good even if it set her back maybe four dollars. Nice, dutiful woman, good sense of humour, probably deserved a callup ahead of [Alice] Christopher this year."

On the subject of the national team, he believes that "everyone there, to some extent, deserves it. People love talking about how [Priscilla] Evans rooted out the bad guys and while people say I'm a dodgy bloke - well, I've never threatened Rach[el McNamara] with getting her cut from the squad or bodyslammed Julia for leaving me out of the squad, have I?" When asked if he'd like to acclaim any of his teammates in particular, "I'd be stupid if I didn't say Liam West: we play differently a bit, but that hasn't stopped him from being a great guy anyway. He goes in, asks people what they want, gets the job done and leaves everyone with smiles on their faces. I'm told we've never fined anyone for being late to training because he's always there first and everyone wants to be with him - it's not that he's flashy, he doesn't want the fame, he's just... a mentor. Trust me, I talk to him mostly."

While Saint Eleanor's easy 4-0 win against Sannyamathland has impressed many loyal followers, Newbridge says "let's get on the other Commies [Fort McKinley] first, go to their place, give them a hammering, then we can start to talk about us being in the driving seat." In addition to being a fiery defender in his own right, he's also struck a confident and uncompromising tone in front of the press, just now and in the past - does he think it's a problem? "Absolutely not. My job at Albion Road is to keep the team honest, look out for them every game, be their public face when we're doing conferences and the fans need reassurance that we're doing to do well - I mean, I tell them the truth but the truth is we're improving and we'll be consistent IFCF challengers in the future. At the Nat Lib, as I said, I work alongside the skipper in a lot of ways, on the pitch, in the bootroom, plus I know this team has the potential to be one of the best in the world and I'm trying to emphasise that whenever I can. We aren't distracted by this or anything else, we just work and get results and I bang the drum in public with a few other of the snap-happy lads. Why not?"

Eleanorian defending has, throughout its relatively short history, been characterised as a mellow, cautious discipline with more of a willingness to intercept passes and recycle possession than win the ball through sheer force of might. While Sam Newbridge has, perhaps needfully, sought to turn this doctrine on its head, he has also marked himself out as a good team player who is loved by most, respected by all, earns all sorts of attention both on and off the pitch, and will more than likely be a bulwark of the White Stars' firewall for years to come.

by **South Newlandia** » Wed May 11, 2022 4:50 pm

by **Zwangzug** » Wed May 11, 2022 5:27 pm

The Bassabook Baritone

Zwangzug defeated Sendhang at Eglantine Park, behind goals from Valerie Waugh and Nancy Puyo-Sachar. They then went on the road to the cavernous if venerable Tumbran National Stadium, where a goal from Kayla Haugen in the 23rd minute was enough to shut out the Black Eagles and avenge a semifinal defeat in the Eagles' Cup.

All of these results are perfectly normal on their own. Waugh was, until recently, the nominal first-choice striker; while 102d's performance has slackened in recent cycles, she is still an experienced shot up front. Haugen was a protege of Kate DiMarini's at Trebuchet Cham and continues to take on a leadership role there, and Puyo-Sachar, while a little too young for the DiMarini era, is still nevertheless a dynamic personality, especially given her marriage to Griffith "Kwisatz Haderach" Puyo-Sachar of the baseball Zebras.

But look at what this does to the current national team's goalscoring tables, as of Matchday Four:

Waugh 17
Haugen 15
Esther Axelrod-Conway 15
...
(Puyo-Sachar 7)

Three women at the top of the list, and with sixteen qualification matches still ahead of us, those tallies will continue to climb. There was a time when Martina Ruan's eighteen career goals would have topped our sex-segregated list, and Jaclyn Burkhart's twenty is still comparable. Now? It's likely that several of these women could vault that by the end of qualifiers (hopefully we didn't jinx anything).

Some of this, of course, is due to the lengths of grueling campaigns as opposed to those of old. And some of it is due to our experiments with a (1)-4-6-0; if there's no striker, there's nobody racking up a lot of goals. But historically, it's one of those weird correlations that women in Zwangzug have tended to more defensive positions; even Axelrod-Conway is nominally a defensive midfielder, not that that means anything in Farfadillis.

Right now, eight of the putative "starting XI" are women, with Simon Gannett, Farrokh Sokhi, and Quincy Dulk-Fough the three men. Gannett and Sokhi play for Canbix Muses and Namiri Forest respectively; both have had excellent recent seasons, and both are defensive-minded sides--which, given the aforementioned trends, means they have women from their domestic teammates playing alongside them here. Dulk-Fough is from the attacking-minded Rovers United. In fairness, his club hasn't been much better than 102d lately (Narrative arcs notwithstanding), and one couldn't have blamed DiMarini if she'd lost faith in both of them and reverted to Tavish Willow's strikerless formation. But apparently they're young enough that they still have potential to make lightning strike.

Of course, the 1./ has long enjoyed sex-parity that [editor's note: paragraph cut to avoid offending anyone] although the first incarnation of the national team was male-only, and women didn't break through until after the World Cup 36 cycle gave football a surge of popularity across the country.

Will Waugh, Haugen, and Axelrod-Conway continue to push each other to greater heights? Will statisticians latch onto this to have something to report, or take the tack that really sex doesn't matter and it's offensive to be talking about it? Find out next round, when...oh never mind we have a bye. Find out in two rounds against Montesina!

by **Thibaea** » Wed May 11, 2022 5:48 pm

Héraut de Chien
The official TSC* correspondent and partner

Written By: Vincent Merin, Senior Football Correspondent (TSC)

Warlocks Secure First Victory, and Look to Build

It would take until the third game they would play, and it would come from the last-place Raspotochje, but the Warlocks finally have their first international win in five years, and this World Cup campaign, having managed to down Raspotochje 2-1, mostly thanks to a brace of goals from Iturburua and Chevalier on the wings in the first half of the match.

Just a fraction of the way into their qualification campaign, the Warlocks have displayed kernels of it all; offensive prowess in the first game, where despite going down 6-3 they had clawed all of their goals back in a thrilling last-half performance, and staunch defense, such in the most recent game albiet against a near-peer or less team, versus the other heavier-skilled teams in the group. But despite this, the hope and key to their success will be if manager Yvon Labelle, and captain Noel Blanc, can gather these small glimpses, clamp down on the mistakes, and if they can synthesize what they're doing right, and address where it's going horribly wrong (namely defense), then they'll only increase their odds of a better performance.

Even the hardiest Ligue fan I'm sure would concede that qualification is an all-but distant dream this campaign; even Labelle has notably abstained from speaking on it directly. Realistically, it would probably take three years of solid performances before an actual qualification, but you never know when lightening could strike. The group this time around is the largest, in terms of teams in it, that Thibaea has ever played in, and while that presents a challenge in terms of creating strategies against each opponent, studying and training against their anticipated style of play, it also presents opportunity to string together some successes, and establish a foundation. Foundation is a vague word, but in this correspondent's opinion it should be what the Warlocks go for - a winning record, or middle-of-the-table finish would be a solid turnout for a team that's been absent internationally for four years, and has struggled to get out of the bottom half in the past when they weren't absent. But securing that first goal, it would enable them to potentially have more successes down the road - be that in the Copa Rushmori, the World Cup proper, or elsewhere. Perhaps if they play well enough, they could even qualify for their first ever Cup of Harmony.

Right now, the biggest item going horribly wrong for the Warlocks is defense - in just three matches, they've conceded 12 goals, a glaring group high and barely taken any back, only scoring 6 themselves. The offense has performed well in games where they can maintain their edges and stay competitive, but the defense is going to be what this team lives or dies by. Encouragingly, Labelle has already started to make tweaks to address this - keeper Dorian Fey, who gave up half of those 12 goals in his first match, was exchanged for Jehanin Bozonnet this time around, and she has mentioned she may alternate matches with the two, so called 'platooning'. She's also started to play midfielder Babin a little further back, or exchange him for Jamet Demaret who is a little more experienced in playing the defensively minded midfielder role as that's how he's used back home in the Ligue. Moving forward, I anticipate you'll she her tactics de-emphasize moving the ball through the middle of the pitch and instead try to focus on maximizing possession by using every inch of the pitch, trying to channel the ball and any offensive out to the wings to take advantage of the forward-heavy formation. Marlène Poirier has particularly proved herself agile and capable in the small sample we've had so far in her two caps, if she can continue to display such speed, if they can keep the pitch open it would prove a lethal scoring combination with her speed and first touch abilities combined with the threats of Chevalier and Zuriñe Iturburua on the wings - or if they get double-matched, Roselyne Delafosse at the center.

by **Pemecutan** » Wed May 11, 2022 8:00 pm

Part 4.1

Part 4.2

Partayasa face look shock when he arrive at the destination. Today is the first day that he and delegation from Cakranegara to inspect several municipalities for their readiness. And he doesn't expected that he will be at the airport again after just yesterday he get to this country by plane.

'Is there something wrong, Mr. Partayasa?' ask Minister Salawi as he looked to the surprise Partayasa.
'Nothing,' Partayasa try to hide his shock. 'Where are you saying we're going today?' he ask.
'Selaparang. The major city in the eastern Cakranegara. We can only get there by plane. For efficiency of course. It will take days if we're going to travel there by car or ships.' Salawi explain.

Partayasa nodded. He know understand where they are going. Selaparang. Back in Pemecutan the city is sometimes call the land of rebel. The nickname is not without a cause. Most of Cakranegara invasions, wars and rebellions are centered in this very city. From ancient times until recently when the monarch was deposed. The city is also noted as the balance of power in the country. With Ampenan, the capital, located in the western part of Cakranegara, Selaparang, the second largest city located in the east. Hope nothing's going wrong there,' Partayasa hope in his thought. The plane that taking him and several Pemecutan and Cakranegara delegations taking off from the runway of Ampenan International Airport with Selaparang as their destination.

Destination: Selaparang

The flight run smoothly. In about an hour, the plane arrive at Selaparang Airport. The airport is quite low profile. A car has waiting for them as they headed to the city center. Partayasa look outside the window. The scenery is still very natural. While Salawi who is sit next to him is explaining about the city and the distribution network there.

'Wait. So you say this is not our exact destination?' ask Partayasa interrupting Salawi's explanation.
Salawi nod. 'Selaparang is the base. All of the referendum logistic for this province is stored here before being delivered to every municipalities in the province. There are 9 municipalities here in the province.'
'I see. So where is our next destination?' ask Partayasa again.
'Montong Gading. The southeastern most municipality in the country. It is the first municipality that the logictic is delivered. But before that, we will take you to the storehouse here in the city,' Salawi explain more.

Partayasa just nodded. Cakranegara is quite differ than Pemecutan eventhough both are an archipelago country. But Cakranegara is widely divided. The distance between each island is pretty far.

After around an hour from the airport, they are arriving at their first destination in the city, The Election Center Building. In this building, all of the logistic for the referendum for Selaparang Province is stored and sorted before being delivered to all municipalities in the provinces. The province is the second largest in term of voters number. Partayasa calmly hearing Salawi's explanation about the distribution and such. And as Partayasa predicted, most of the distribution will be done via water with 7 out of 9 municipalities in the province is located on a different island.

'How much time do you think it will need to delivered all of this?' ask Partayasa in the end.
'Our estimation is a week until it reach the voting place. That's why we're prioritize the farthest location first. Montong Gading as I mention before. Then Pringgarata. Then other municipalities nearby until Selaparang city,' answer Salawi.
'And the other provinces? Are the logistics already delivered there?'
'The first 2 provinces that being delivered are here and Gili Anakan. Both are the farthest from Ampenan. Other provinces will be delivered after that two provinces get the whole logistics,' Salawi explaining.
'Doesn't it make longer to fulfill the logistics using that method?' Partayasa become curious.
'No, of course. I mean as the first batch of logistics arrived and accepted by the Provincial Election Center in those 2 provinces then we start to deliver to the other provinces,' Salawi corrected.
'Sorry. My mistake. I thought you will wait a week until all the logistics delivered before start to send the other provinces logistic,' admit Partayasa.
'Oh No. Absolutely not. That will make us behind the schedule,' confirmed Salawi.
'So does the other provinces logistics have been delivered yet?' ask Partayasa again.
'This logistics just arrived yesterday here. Today it will be counted and confirmed to the center in Ampenan. Tomorrow another 2 provinces will be delivered,' explain Salawi.
'That's a good pace,' admit Partayasa.

Salawi put on a smile. He feel relieve that Partayasa satisfied with his team plan for the logistic delivery. Everyone in the country are having a high interest with this referendum.

Partayasa feel so fresh after taking a shower. It was a busy day today. After inspection to the Election Center, Salawi take him to see some of the voting places in the city. It is good to see the community centers, mosque front yard and public halls are use as the voting places. He sigh heavily while looking at the window of his hotel room. The hotel is a mid-rise building but it still gives a good scenery of the city. He just hope that he can rest nicely this night. He feel so tired with this field trip. And tomorrow they will be going to Montong Gading. Another adventure with ship and car ride.

He decided to skip dinner. He already eaten after all. Salawi brought them to the local seafood restaurant earlier and they have a luxury feast. Guess it's enough for his stomach until tomorrow morning. He is satiated. Partayasa get on the bed. He rested his tired body. It feels so good,' he murmured. It only take a few seconds for him to fall asleep.

A vibrating sound comes from the side table of his bed. It gives a loud sound that wakes Partayasa. But with a sleepy eyes, he ignored the sound and turn to the other side of the bed. He put a pillow on his head to cover from the voice. He feel relieve as the sound is gone. But when he try to sleep again, another ringing sound disturb him. This time it is the phone on the side table. He suddenly become grumpy. Partayasa try to sit. He sighing while checking the clock. It's 5 am in the morning. Who on earth call me this early? he murmured angrily.

'Ya,' he take the call with a cold tone. But suddenly his angry face turn to worry. He immediately put the phone down and open the window curtains. Not far from the hotel building, he can see a huge black smoke which lights with fire. He release a heavy breathe. Who on earth did this? Isn't the province is highly supporting the referendum. Why do they burn the election center's storehouse? he thoughts.

by **Geektopia** » Wed May 11, 2022 8:28 pm

Categorium: Work (Curated by Migueis in Geektopia) edited by Atham Tasasubsil in Burur cak Noaqsi)
Automobiles (Curated by Naumovic in Geektopia) edited by Christoffer Cappuyns in Chica Saw)
Amusement (Curated by Zahharov in Geektopia) edited by Corion Icepis Samarneta in Aimena)
Household (Curated by Palime in Geektopia) edited by Kalijat Hink in Unimon)
Good Physical Condition (Curated by Blard in Geektopia) edited by Edtacio Bezerra in Campo de Ervas)
Government (Curated by Podjasek in Geektopia) edited by Eskanova Singleton in Sponsertivity)
Faith (Curated by Nke in Geektopia) edited by Taire Ah Oak Guru in Sainterris)
Branch of Knowledge (Curated by Rehnström in Geektopia) edited by Aguilḻar Mendoza Sanafan Ţluknaṟbire in Islas Cardinales)
Competitive Games (Curated by Rifiño in Geektopia) edited by Andreika Rararch Sigi in Aimena)
Technology (Curated by Tschšppeler in Geektopia) edited by Shuan Zawadkun in Aimena)
Travel (Curated by Courtieux in Geektopia) edited by Tamir Tater in Aimena<======= You are here.
Popular Media & Economy (Curated by Sulkumški in Geektopia) edited by Margharita Abbate in La Fiorita)
Multiverse (Curated by El Baraka in Geektopia) edited by Eva Mariska II Purrlicious Chowder Chocolate in Islas Cardinales)

More coverage on Courtieux visiting every country, but his flight gets delayed for seven hours, from the scheduled time of 4:00 PM to 11:00 PM. After getting off of the plane at 2:00 AM, the curator rags on about Burur cak Noaqsi as far as it being a nothing country goes.

Now, we don't doubt that Aimena was good fun, but it will have to be put aside as I'm here to start off my travels after having boarded a plane that came from the country in which Tamir Tater's wife was born, to stepping off of that same planes airstairs. Given Tamir Tater's easy job and fairly high wages as an editor, I should only expect a letter from the company in which I work telling me it isn't advisable to continue this venture, for in the policy written a month after they were founded in the year 2801, any journalist working to fulfill a specific role in the company ought to do it on company grounds. And so this means that Tater, who is faithfully transcribing what I say from the video entailed in which I send him via my company smartphone, has been paid for bringing back no information when he deceitfully told me I could take a break for a few weeks where I hadn't known of this policy and he had, while Tamir gets wages for sitting back and doing nothing. To be fair, Tater isn't my boss but a key is to a gate as my colleague here was to the company. All the while, limited contacts were given as far as my company smart phone goes and after the fact of my sending the previous video to Tamir Tater I felt really attached to Prydea in Aimena which has in possession the most porta-potties of any capital city. A drawback can be said truthfully that it is a shitty, congested nothing city which I cherry-picked the delicacies out of in my last entry, but there is a special kind of connection when Geeks and Aimers talk whilst seeing past politics and sports (which eventually leads into politics) that I only realized existed after I stepped foot into that country and interacted with other countrymen. After the fact of my learning about these developments when taking a look at my savings and checking account a week and a half later, I did carefully so as to not look like I had a loud disposition, because there was such an anger welled up inside me, that I had the irrational thought this editor who was paired with me would be such a sleazeball to scream at positions higher up the Geektivities hierarchy that I assaulted him through the phone.

I would also like to discuss a few happenings which led to my standing in the precipitous flat ground behind a building which houses these planes and this piece of aircraft that I just came out of seven days ago. Actually, the story most readers would like to hear first resides in the making of these warehouses, which contain a lot more space than which is first seen from the outside. These cretinous pirates who loved their god Chohn Singh, even so much as to name the fleet after him realized that the one accommodation they had which first, set them apart from other countries and second, wasn't illegal to have in the continent. So these companies whose facilities existed off of the stuff they were selling, called SpaceTakers, said, "Oh shit, there's a loophole, these things aren't illegal anywhere, and our monetary lives are made much easier. Let's use these and make up a story about how we found them in Crystal Cove and are selflessly not using, but giving them away to other Kwandoans. To make this distinction even more apparent, let's not just make websites with faux company and material origin stories, calling them 'Kwandoan Exclusive' is a step in the right direction as well." I was one of the buyers of a SpaceTaker that cost a lot of money, but that I'll find costs even more money now. SpaceTaker Pradha and Spacetaker Pradhjaryata were big brands named after wards in the ship that everyone who made more than six figure wages in one year were obligated to buy. Now the funny thing, and I hate myself when I sound non patriotic, is that most attempts going off of the same materials and methodology given to the start-up companies or corporations that wanted to branch out in this continent, have failed, more than likely starting at the third step, where one worker born in Kwandoa has to polymerize goldmanite with Jargle Jam, and lubricating these two things apart with molybdenum disulfide. The folded space made out of the lubrication of these two things, the space in between the two materials which opens up, blinds everyone but those seafarers near Crystal Cove. Like, it's crazy! Circling back to the airplane shed in which the Billiards E461 commercial aircraft lies, I'm saying the permanent structure has these SpaceTakers that, to an ironic effect, can save space while their upper limits are recorded at 336 meters, or 1103 feet and 4 inches regarding height, width, and length respectively. While the black market in Geektopia reigns king economically, black market products which offer these exact same things are less ruly, reliable, and trustworthy. I once had this guy who was a friend of my friend's personal trainer, named Surowik, O.K.? He bought off of the black market these Shirinagarja SpaceTakers which had been modified slightly to accommodate people born with less testosterone, also known as Geektopia and it's surrounding neighbors' citizens. Right, so I went over to his house when he asked me if I wanted some of his coffee, and I saw him stretch the Jam-goldmanite mixture which was separated by the stuff which I just said it was separated by. Fortunately for both of us, we were wearing these dark glasses which made it hard to see anything, even at a fireworks show, so the blinding otherworldliness didn't disable one of my five senses or his. So he steps into this thing, which doesn't close on his ass or anything after the fact of his coming in and placing a munitions box inside of the temporal portal. So when I mention this was made for people with less testosterone, I will say that it tried, as much as it did, to have a positive effect on the person entering itself, so back to my friend. He got out of the portal, and when the portal itself closed I think I can infer that it didn't sense a huge weight of flesh and blood stepping anywhere near that of itself. So Surowik gets out of the portal, and his arms are so fucking vascular, should I say veined out, it's like looking at someone's botched attempt at drawing a roadmap. And this is where the bad comes in, O.K.? After the fact that his arms look like they went through a few pump exercises, he grows, like, two more heads. It's craaaazy! So I had Emergency Services Geektopia (ESG) pick him up and wheel him out into their vehicle, well, since then I haven't heard from him, his son, his wife (extremely rare to have a wife these days with the climate this country is in), or his father. You can just say I haven't heard from his immediate family since this incident. Even still, I may be a bit reticent with my checking and savings when it comes to ever buying a SpaceTaker again because it doesn't look all that different from that of what the Geektopian black market sells. I mean, would I also want to grow three heads in front of the benefit that I look and feel juiced as hell for thirty minutes? Sheesh, I don't know, I wish I had, like, a reader's poll privilege at some point.

What I was about to discuss before I was so thoroughly blown away by seafaring architecture (and nearly everyone calls these creepy geniuses "Seafarers") was that of the several flight delays on the single plane I was on, heading from Aimena to Burur cak Noaqsi. The only place which resembled an airport near where I was was situated in this mall, in the back of the permanent structure with the runways facing out. Now, the fact that this multi-purpose airport didn't have any backdoors near where it was situated, meant that I was pissed and that I had to go through a strip near the end of the mall where nearly all of what I saw were walk-in gyms. My standing here, over time, would probably be grounds for me to develop lung failure and/or cancer on my end, so I was better off walking to the airport which I did. These dumbass planners who oversaw the construction of this modern architectural craphole put two mega-gyms, one being crossfit and the other at the bare end of the friggin' place being a workout center for those with diabetes and goitre, but mostly the gym specialized in folks whose throats they had to shove a sponge into, id est people afflicted with goitre. By this point, I was five hours late into my flight, which had departed five hours ago. I noticed this and contacted the office in this airport, which was cooperative despite it's uncooperative location. By the time I had said my goodbyes and hung up, the plane was headin' back to it's respective mall-airport hybrid thing, and by the time I had gone through two more hours of gym hell, I was unsurprised and deflated to have been informed that despite the plane back making good time, I had four more hours left to prepare for the flight which was heading to where I was in the airport, and so this was the story of how I came to hate gyms, working out, etcetera, but also the development of a creepy fondness to folks who were employed with airport office jobs.

Now there wasn't much to say about Burur cak Noaqsi because it was probably the barest country I've ever set foot in. Asides from some spectacular canoeing down the Chong Guo River and my acknowledging that it's better situated geographically for the activity of white water rafting and environmental preservation efforts, there was nothing more to say. To end off the video, or piece of text, I will talk about it's history, though relatively short. Relative investigations in the area are verified and date back to hundreds of thousands of GeekYears, with the finding of a buffing wheel. Many folks who were at the site wanted to put the buffing wheel in a museum, at the same time, companies who had their workers perform abrasive mixing knew that this could propel any one company, which the companies arguing with the archaeology team at the site were, to lots of new eyes looking at that of itself, the company which employed people to be abrasive mixers. The same thing went for the company called MoraleCorp, but to a much more feverous effect. On multiple occasions, it's been reported that the company's human resources branch settled to get on a ferry while smuggling the baby lynxes, which were trained to lift things more than twenty five pounds with their mouth. Once they had arrived, the HR team isolated the lynxes by releasing them from that of their handbag. From there, human resources for MoraleCorp correctly thought that they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel for the fact that most people were looking at the exhibit which was on a flat piece of red canyon stone. And so, without their knowing what jeopardy the baby lynxes would put their owners in, they dove into the exhibit, where the item in one's mouth was pulled back off and out of the lynx by a passerby. No specifics are needed to be more known from there, as nearly everyone knows that security guards stationed around the museum which was outside had a long yacht ride back with these company troublemakers and their small cats. The company troublemakers soon had trouble with their lives as well, for their work contracts were terminated a day after the incidents.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure that I'm exhausted because of jet lag and about to hit the plane departing for Amoresierra, literally translating in English to "Love Mountain", so you might as well come to the conclusion from myself that these were the only notable historical events that happened in a nothing country like that of the BCN, perhaps it's time to get some qualified city planners? The curators and editors of this company know some guys, and if the Islam country doesn't hire those qualified guys who are raring for a job that requires the use of deductive work involving proportions and precise architecture while also staking their claim as shareholders to the company, I guess what happens happens. As it is now, the Noaqsian government does not have a whisker of involvement or history with these experts we know, so as far AS we know, the country'll probably go down a path of boring mediocrity and uninspired drivel as far as tourist involvement goes.

Vilita 3-4 Geektopia <> 83,941 @ Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki-Corra, Vilita
G's: 5' by #8 Matkowski for GEE via a free-kick, 5' by #18 Germain Sophie for GEE (assisted by #33 Pitter), 21' by #25 Vert for GEE via a header, 32' by Fyin Miateal for VIL (assisted by Injyua Klizlo), 63' by #33 Pitter for GEE (assisted by #7 Abdill), 70' by Awukchu L’bakka for VIL (assisted by Jakku’u Naboyavi), 75' by Narri Sebapilo for VIL via an in-swinging corner which hit nobody on it's way in
Notable Fouls: YC in the 42' via #20 Rinnert (GEE), YC in the 56' via #26 Gerking (GEE)
Substitutions: #29 Diminno out at 5 minutes introducing #10 Nankervis for GEE, #24 Ringwald out at 5 minutes introducing #25 Vert for GEE, #8 Matkowski out at 5 minutes introducing #4 Livengood for GEE, #6 Germaine Sophie out at 14 minutes introducing #13 Blask for GEE, #11 Zalie 'amquk out at 14 minutes introducing #7 Abdill for GEE

Player Ratings

ON FOR 90 MINS
#22 Lertora = 7.5
#18 Germain Sophie = 8.5
#33 Pitter = 9.0
#30 Ponti = 7.5
#20 Rinnert = 7.4
#26 Gerking = 7.4

SUBBED OFF
#29 Diminno = 7.5
#24 Ringwald = 7.5
#8 Matkowski = 8.5
#6 Germaine Sophie = 7.5
#11 Zalie 'amquk = 7.5

SUBBED ON
#10 Nankervis = 7.5
#25 Vert = 8.5
#4 Livengood = 7.5
#13 Blask = 7.5
#7 Abdill = 8.0

by **Astograth** » Wed May 11, 2022 8:40 pm

Previously

The lights were off and the heavy blackout curtains pulled down over the windows. The bluish wash of his computer was the only light in Urti Kirna’s flat. It reflected off the tinfoil hastily taped to his ceiling. Below it the journalist’s hands flashed over the keyboard, a miracle of touch-typing.

He was preparing a fluff piece for Urbizania’s The Raven ahead of the qualifier (and Unofficial World Championship match) against The Holy Empire. Where Did They Go?, it asked, about the players who’d last played at the Imperial Hippodrome – Astograth’s first ever qualifying match, in fact, for World Cup 55. A mere… 53 years ago, in Astograthian time. The match had been a 3–0 drubbing for Astograth, but it lived on in the popular imagination as both a moment of national pride and one of wonder – no Astograthians had seen the Dreamed Realm before. Perfect fodder for some ad-friendly filler on the Raven’s website, Kirna reckoned.

Zernin Aira, goalkeeper, then 23, of Sporting Iturributa. Held to be the greatest Astograthian keeper of all time, he started for the national team until World Cup 59, and still holds Olibondeka’s record for most clean sheets and most caps as a goalkeeper: 39 and 138, respectively. He was part of the CoH 50-winning squad. After WC59, Aira defected to the illegal ‘national team’ of Iturributa and became its captain, earning an additional 51 caps. Had a spell at Royal Vosaroni Antenelli of Erathore before returning to Sporting, with whom he won a total of 5 league titles and 4 national cups. Served on the board of Sporting Iturributa from 675 to 684, now retired in Iturributa.

Yuango Mendiola, left-back, then 27, of Iturributa United. Mendiola was Astograth’s starting left-back until the end of the World Cup 56 cycle, earning 63 caps. He continued playing at a high level for Iturributa United until he was forced to retire at 33 due to a back injury. After retirement, Mendiola opened and ran a chain of Badiola-branded truck dealerships across Astograth’s Modraine coast, and now lives in his hometown of Langaraitz.

Petrigai Mendiroz, centre-back, then 26, of Internazcionale Eliodoro (Erathore). A regular for Astograth, earning 76 caps, until the end of the World Cup 56 cycle, when he lost his place to Ubelteso Adin. Mendiroz later returned to Astograth to play for Urbizania Wanderers, whom he led to a Royal Cup victory. After retirement he served as a youth coach for many clubs and had a brief stint managing Freedom FC while they competed in the illegal ‘Iturributa Premier Division’. He lives in Iturributa, where he performs ‘occasional, independent scouting’.

Milian Erburu, centre-back, then 27, of Ituraitz FC. A one-club legend, the massive Erburu led Ituraitz to 3 First Division titles and 3 Royal Cups. He started and earned 112 caps for Astograth, retiring from the national team after winning Cup of Harmony 50. Erburu became a coach and later manager following retirement, which included memorable stints at Ituraitz, Royal Arexa, and Antiguoko. Still resides in Ituraitz and is often mentioned among the greatest Astograthian defenders of all time.

Elatzar Orbizo, right-back, then 27, of Sporting Iturributa. An attacking-minded player, Orbizo’s reliance on an excellent physique led him to shine brightly but briefly for Astograth. He earned 76 caps and was dropped after the World Cup 56 cycle. After Sporting Iturributa he played for Yastrabi of Kagdazka and Pazhujebu, retiring there. Had a lengthy career in management, with spells at clubs that included Yellowknife Yaks (of Pazhujebu), Royal Ibarbe, Miners FC, and Ituraitz Victory. Lives in Olarria.

Edorta Urrustoy, defensive midfielder, then 33, of Juvapanam (Kagdazka and Pazhujebu). A late bloomer, Urrustoy earned 50 caps for Astograth before retiring internationally after the World Cup 55 cycle. He signed for Juvapanam after a long career with Urbizania Wanderers and led the Pazhujebi club to two KPFA League titles and two domestic cups. After retirement he worked in broadcasting before getting into management. As manager of Urbizania Wanderers he won their début First Division title and, in the same season, Champions’ Cup 43, becoming the first Astograthian world champion club. Urrustoy afterwards managed the Astograthian national team, qualifying them to World Cup 67 – their first since hosting World Cup 62 and their last until World Cup 87. Resides in Urbizania.

Urgutz Belarte, left midfielder, then 21, of Arskanskigrad United (Albundania). One of the national team’s first young starlets, Belarte would go on to win Cup of Harmony 50, captain Astograth, and become one of the team’s most-capped players of all time, earning 160 before retiring after World Cup 60. At club level he later signed for Atlético Central and Atlético Jutense of Cafundéu, before returning to Astograth as Athletic Club Olarria’s star player. Became a government ambassador for sport, and currently resides in Ibarbe.

Egerdi Bordato, right midfielder, then 26, of Ituraitz FC. A set-piece specialist for Ituraitz FC and Astograth University, Bordato earned 65 caps for Astograth before being dropped after World Cup 56 qualifying. Though a talented midfielder, his greatest achievements came as manager. With Garitzeta Racing Club he pulled off one of the biggest (if illegal) underdog runs in world football after being awarded the (illegal) ‘Iturributan Premier Division’ title in 661, season which was never completed due to Astograth’s lawful military intervention in Iturrributa. Garitzeta Racing thus qualified to the UICA Champions’ Cup representing (the illegal regime of) Iturributa. Bordato took them to the very final of the world championship, which they lost on penalties to Nithgard of Earent. He was later long-time manager of Iturributa United, with whom he won the relaunched Astograthian First Division once. Bordato passed away eight years ago, in 683. A life-size statue of him can be found outside Garitzeta’s Letatzadur Stadium.

Estebe Bularte, attacking midfielder, then 30, of Iturributa United. Bularte earned 114 caps for Astograth – 110 of them as team captain – until his final match of football at World Cup 57. His dramatic, furious tossing away of the armband after losing to Bostopia has since been ritualised into a passing of the torch from captain to captain of the national team. A fine playmaker, Bularte’s number 8 has become synonymous with Astograth’s most important creative midfielder. After retirement he turned to management, first with Iturributa Racing Club and later Avenida Principal of Farfadillis. Bularte returned to Astograth after Lord Protector Ugarte’s ascension in 661 and was (rightfully) prosecuted as an enemy of the state, before being (rightfully) rehabilitated in 673 under Grand Duke Gaxan. He passed away nine years ago, in 682.

Soter Sarlange, striker, then 22, of Ituraitz FC. According to many, the greatest Astograthian football player of all time. A ruthless forward, Sarlange played for the Astograthian national team from its formation till the third-place play-off of World Cup 61, accruing an incredible 200 caps and scoring 89 goals; both records still stand. Sarlange also played a key role in winning Cup of Harmony 50. Besides two spells at Ituraitz FC, Sarlange played for CR Submiria of Cafundéu. Submiria at the time specialised in scouting and signing players from Rushmore, which led to Sarlange being teammates with several of the region's best players, including future members of the World Cup Hall of Fame such as Civil Citizenry's Ingram Ackleigh, Eura's Lee Sharp, and Polar Islandstates' Alexsandr van Sorensen. After retirement, Sarlange was himself inducted to the Hall of Fame, but otherwise distanced himself from his past as a footballer. His brand of sausage and charcuterie products, Chistorra Sarlange, is nevertheless Ituraitz FC’s largest sponsor today. Sarlange reportedly splits his time between Ituraitz and a luxury penthouse in Paripana.

Dei Ormache, striker, then 26, of SK Franz Josef City (Polar Islandstates). Ormache’s 145 caps and 49 goals make him among the most-capped and highest-scoring players for the Astograthian national team, part of a legendary partnership with Soter Sarlange that also included two spells together at Ituraitz FC. With Astograth he captained the team to win Cup of Harmony 50 and retired after World Cup 59, played in Polar Islandstates. Some of his greatest achievements were in Polar Islandstates, where his SK Franz Josef City came to dominate the Divisjon One. In the twilight of his career, Ormache returned to Gortz United, the club where he first took off as a striker, and helped them rise to the top flight for the first time. After retirement, Ormache has served as Gortz’s chairman since 655, now going on 37 years, and has borne the title of chairman-for-life since 682. He oversaw the club win their first league title in 689.

Bayardo Morriyas, attacking midfielder, then 31, of Royal Association. Came on at half-time. Morriyas earned 32 caps for Astograth until the end of the World Cup 55 cycle. In 640 he was a survivor of the Khuril Air Disaster, in which a plane carrying several footballing representatives of Astograth and Polar Islandstates crashed in the remote Khuril Islands. Morriyas was the type of talented player who refuses to leave his beloved, humble club, no matter what better offers came along – and they did, from several top clubs. His staunch commitment to Royal Association made him a cherished figure there, though the love that turned sour when Iturributa declared independence and Morriyas pledged loyalty to the new Republic, a move unpopular with the Royalist club. Morriyas managed Iturributa Racing Club in the (illegal) ‘Premier Division’, the (illegal) ‘Iturributa national team’, and Athletic Club Olarria in the (legal) Astograthian First Division. Morriyas has not been seen since 665, aged 58. In 685 he was legally presumed to be dead.

Egoitz Malgor, left midfielder, then 25, of Royal Rumiatzi. Came on in the 56th minute. Malgor earned 31 caps across World Cup cycles 55 and 58; for the national team he is best remembered for his scoring the vital winner against New Montreal States in the quarterfinals of Cup of Harmony 50. He struggled for playing time with the national team due to Urgutz Belarte’s strong form, but at club level Malgor is famous for being among the first Astograthian world champions: with Agoztar Gorstiaga, Itzeder Unzueta, and Anton Axpuru, he was part of the FK Murmansk (FKM) team which won UICA Champions’ Cup 35 at their own home ground in Murmansk, Kagdazka. After retirement, Malgor had a lengthy if unspectacular managerial career, with jobs that included Izarloka FC, East Railway, and Astograth University. He lives in Rumiatzi.

Munio Baranzano, striker, then 26, of Iturributa United. Came on in the 74th minute. One of Astograth’s original starting forwards together with Dei Ormache, Baranzano was dropped in favour of Sarlange in the long lead-up to the World Cup 55 qualifiers. He would return for Cup of Harmony 48 and the World Cup 57 cycle under manager Powell Pieran, who preferred his larger physique over the smaller Dei Ormache; nevertheless, Baranzano performed irregularly, and was eventually dropped. He earned 55 caps and scored 8 goals with the national team. This contrasted with his strong club form, primarily for Iturributa United and Civil Citizenry’s Eastern Chase; at both clubs he won multiple titles and awards. Baranzano became a respected youth coach after retirement, and was long-term head of Athletic Club Rumiatzi’s youth academy. He passed away seven years ago, in 684.

Gartzen Treko, manager, then 75. A formidable striker who played for his boyhood club Athletic Club Yungoitio, South Factory, and Royal Rumiatzi, among other clubs, in the time when Astograth was split among different independent states. Later made his name as manager by winning titles with AC Yungoitio, Dockyard Oaks, Ituraitz FC, and especially Royal Rumiatzi, with whom he dominated the Rumiatzi Football Union prior to the establishment of the Astograthian Football League. Came out of retirement to become the national team’s first manager, until the end of World Cup 56 qualifying. Passed away in 649. Athletic Club Yungoitio’s home ground is named after him.

Good enough, thought Kirna, and he pressed ‘send’ on the email to the editor. This would keep the money flowing. Enough to survive. The grind must continue. At least until he could take down the government.

by **Nephara** » Wed May 11, 2022 8:47 pm

Tjorl 3 - 3 Nephara
(4-2-3-1) 1 - Provost; 2 - Schrader, 5 - Clevinger, 6 - Scales, 3 - Lind; 4 - Constantine, 15 - Ulmer (8 - Brand 59'); 13 - Reed (7 - Matalin 68'), 23 - Kvasina; 11 - Marinca; 10 - Harper (21 - Basilisk 68')
Goals: Kvasina 33', Lind 51', Basilisk 85'

Nephara 3 - 2 United Adaikes
(4-2-3-1) 20 - Arrowsmith; 17 - Kovac, 18 - Copperhead, 6 - Scales, 22 - Levering; 19 - Tapper (4 - Constantine 61'), 15 - Ulmer; 13 - Reed, 14 - Fletcher (8 - Brand 70'), 16 - Crowcombe; 9 - Kurtishi
Goals: Kurtishi 17', Crowcombe 44', Reed 49'

Largely references this NYK RP.

ATTENDING:
Ms. Brooke GOLDLEAF, Minister for Foreign Affairs [Pro Dem]
Mr. Zander KIRSCH, Minister for Defence [Pro Dem]
Pr. Agt. Monika LINDBECK, Head of NSIA
Ms. Jade HORVATH, Head of DoTFA

ON CALL:
Dvr. Claudia LARCHWOOD, Security Liaison
Agt. Ava SANDERSON, Government Liaison

Situation Room, Corvistone
Zander Kirsch was going through nails at a rate of knots.
So many ways this could go wrong. Many of them were spectacular. And most of them ended with Nephara being left to carry the can...
"Zander?" Lindbeck's tone implied it was not the first time she had prompted him.
He gave a signature witty rejoinder. "Uh?"
Lindbeck had not clawed her way up to the top of NSIA, allegedly murdering a number of Brenecian government employees along the way, to have people just space out when she started talking. She did not even try to conceal her eye-roll, nor the grunt of displeasure in her throat. "I was asking your opinion of the EAL."
Fuck, who even
was that
so many fucking acronyms
"Ah, yeah." He grinned and sifted through his notes, which largely consisted of plans for his Fantasy Zenith side now that Ninian Petrus (so many assists for so cheap!) was out with injury for an extended stretch. "Yeahhh, the EAL." What did it stand for? Something... eco... ? Ecologi-- and it came back to him. "Well, obviously we're sympathetic with them for the most part."
"Mm. Not strategically."
"Not given that Mapimele--"
"Ojuok," said Lindbeck and her cipher, Sanderson, simultaneously.
"Right, him, has repaid our busting him out of jail with chest-beating rhetoric about kicking out all military presence."
"Insofar as a hardcore pacifist can be considered 'chest-beating'," said Larchwood, drily. The Divisionär was the highest-ranking officer left in the country, and was playing a key role in security. She knew the turf, and had fought hard over it when the war had been in full swing. "But yeah, I mean, it's obviously not ideal."
"They aren't polling like they'll have the power to obstruct our strategic aims," pointed out Kirsch's fellow politician, Goldleaf.
"Mm," mmed Horvath.
People looked to the veteran diplomat. She looked tired, lately.
"Mm?" prompted Goldleaf, leaninig forward in a way that came across more combatively than she meant.
"The poll has me worried." She tapped her notes, which were actually comprised of notes. "The KPWC are top, yes. For now. Against a pack of loud unknowns. But here's the thing; two-thirds of that group were undecided. Now, who the hell comes through the past few years and still doesn't know where they stand on Nafuna? So I'd wager, those two-thirds... they are, for the most part, picking over which of the unknowns they like most." Horvath took a drink of water, uninterrupted, and continued. "Now, the CFO and to a degree the KNC are basically holdovers from the war one way or another. The JVV and EAL we can work with, to some extent. But the UPF... they're close already, and Kulan has a credible narrative as a centrist unity candidate." The diplomat shrugged, and leaned back in her creaking chair. "He's the one we have to be worried about."
"The man from bloody Hattmark," muttered Larchwood.
Goldleaf asked, "What does he even stand for? I mean, really. I know he'll promise anything."
"Reprisal against the KPWC is the main thing," said Sanderson.
"I like the bastards already."
Sanderson looked sourly at the Divisionär, and Kirsch quickly picked up on the tension. The NSIA agent had gone native rather more than the army woman. "You may well, but I don't need to tell you how strategically disastrous that would be. And avoiding a purge of what passes for establishment in the country should be foremost on the agenda. It is, after all, why we are there. Though I understand our colleagues in Cabinet were both opposed to intervention..."
"Well, we're all here now," said Lindbeck pointedly. Still, it was a salient point. This was Ulrica Lindt's project. She'd been the one pushing it through from day one, and her party had backed her. Now, four years on, she was out, and it was up to an opposition who had vocally opposed their involvement to see it through, adhering to the Accords.
Goldleaf felt the need to try and mend bridges. "Yet we are here. And we'll get this over the line."
"Yeah, so we can all get home and you can gut the military budget." Larchwood smiled at Kirsch with all his teeth. The budget was a point of contention. 'Streamlining' - actually carrying with it an investment in logistics - meant cutting costs, and that was always like extracting a pound of flesh. "Still, I'll enjoy flexing our muscle while we've got it."
"And none of it would do any good if the UPL win an election we demanded," sighed Horvath.
A grim silence took over.
"Apathy is our friend," said Kirsch, bitterly.
"How d'you mean?" asked Lindbeck.
"With the election. Non-mandatory voting is a fucking travesty, but I recognise it was the only option under the circumstances. And it's going to save us." He leaned forward in his seat. "Because if those undecideds hate Nafuna but can't pick out anyone better, they have the option to just not bother showing up... and that's all but a vote for the KPWC, preserving that lead from the decideds."
"And even if it doesn't," said Goldleaf, quickly. "Is all really lost?"
All eyes turned to her. Like, yeah, obviously all was fucking lost, Goldlea-- Minister.
"I mean, why did we go there? It was to establish democracy and stability in the region. We've done that. If Kulan doesn't go full fash the moment he takes office... we'll still have done that. Even if he kicks out our influence. Sure, he's beholden to Hattmark and Nangang, but that's... fine enough? It isn't like they're genuine enemies of ours." She leaned back in her seat, warming to her subject, getting some smugness back. "Talk about losing sight of our strategic aims... well, I tell you, if this election goes through without a hitch, we've done the job, even if we no longer hold influence over Dewayo. Even if, Agent Sanderson, you'll have to find a new gig."
The words percolated. Reactions varied. It seemed to strike a chord with most, or at least make them feel some guilt over coming across all hawkish.
"Think that's about our time, lads," said Kirsch, checking his watch performatively. Best to end on his colleague's note, help win over the room. "Any other business?"
People glanced around. At last, Horvath said, drily, "The housing bubble in Rozelle burst. People are rioting."
A mention of Brenecia could only mean one thing. Kirsch smirked. "Okay, so no other business."
"Just so."
"Alright, then. We'll set a date for the next meeting, and..."

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 3
Goalkeepers: 1 - Aranea Provost (Spartangrad, EUR), 12 - Medusa Strand (Chromatik, CMT), 20 - Tanith Arrowsmith (Dynamo Sjoedrhavn, SVJ)
Defenders: 2 - Ophelia Schrader (AFC Treason), 3 - Radeka Lind (Jinja City FC, BNJ), 5 - Reniira Clevinger (Herzegovina City FC, BNJ), 6 - Anaximander Scales (Brinemouth), 17 - August Kovac (Aries Chariots), 18 - Sven Copperhead (Crisisbless), 22 - Kyri Levering (Aries Chariots)
Midfielders: 4 - Demeter Constantine (Crisisbless), 7 - Tambra Matalin (Revolutionaries, EUR), 8 - Pernille Brand (Brinemouth), 11 - Lili Marinca (Chromatik, CMT), 13 - Severine Reed (Raynor City United, VAL), 14 - Thalassa Fletcher (La Nueva Avenida, FFD), 15 - Tamara Ulmer (Algolia SC, SRS), 16 - Ana Crowcombe (Avenida Leal, FFD), 19 - Feo Tapper (Aleusia Capital, ZRH), 23 - Lindse Kvasina (Istria City FC, BNJ)
Forwards: 9 - Davor Kurtishi (AFC Corvistone), 10 - Bravura Harper (Ulsa, EUR), 21 - Latona Basilisk (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD)

North and South Vietnam 0 - 2 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Yuezhou @ Farham Arena, Sabrefell
Tjorl 3 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 3 - 2 United Adaikes @ Eagle's Club, Brinemouth
Kamisato Ayaka Nation vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Valentine Z
Mercedini vs. Nephara
BYE
Nephara vs. The Gothanita Isles
Oberour Ar Moro vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Pluvia and the Saxean Isles
Nephara vs. North and South Vietnam
Yuezhou vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Tjorl
United Adaikes vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Kamisato Ayaka Nation
Valentine Z vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Mercedini
BYE
The Gothanita Isles vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Oberour Ar Moro
Pluvia and the Saxean Isles vs. Nephara

by **Jeruselem** » Wed May 11, 2022 8:47 pm

Aaliyah Lust for Naked News Jeruselem in Trolleborg ...

Hey everyone, this is Aaliyah Lust for Naked News Jeruselem covering the World Cup 91.
It's once again, another important qualification day!
I'm wearing clothes so that means we're not back home in Jeruselem, we're in Trolleborg this time.
Trolleborg are familiar to us now, not because we follow them around on purpose though.
Match day 4 of qualification, after the very interesting match day 3.

Match day 3, was good for us! Jeruselem beat Commonwealth of Baker Park at Dazza Dallas Stadium, 2-0!
A fantastic upset for the Princesses who crashed to 4-3 loss last game.
Britonisea beat Acastanha 2-1, Potenzia lost to visiting Trolleborg 2-0. TotoMishin drew 1-1 with visitors Pyazhnaya and Ranoria beat Tekatus 2-1.

Now for today!
Tekatus had the bye today. So they'll be stuck with no points after today.
Potenzia also had no points and that didn't change either. They went to Acastanha and got beaten up 3-1. A moral lifting win by Acastanha. Potenzia ... better luck next game.
Pyazhnaya after jumping out with two wins in two games, could only muster 1-1 draw with Ranoria at home. But they have not lost a game yet with two wins and two draws.
Poor TotoMishin had a bad day, because they played Commonwealth of Baker Park who won at home 6-1! I guess after losing to Jeruselem 2-0, they had to respond. TotoMishin copped the blowback.
Gortolekua had a great home win beating Britonisea 4-2.

So that leaves the Princesses playing Trolleborg, away.
After facing off with Baker Park, another game which is difficult.
Trolleborg were expected to win, but we're not just pretty faces. Not here for our good looks!
Well I'm here because my good looks ... that's another story for another time.
Anyway, looks like we did learn from the match day 2 disaster as we held on for 1-0 win!
It seems like that early loss was actually good for us as we have learnt about our deficiencies.

Well we were worried about match day 3 and 4 because on paper, it was two automatic losses.
But two wins! And no goals conceded?
Just means we're not to be taken for granted to be 3rd in the group.
Saying that, it's only 4 games so there's a long way to go ...

The table is slowing settling down with Commonwealth of Baker Park still leading on 9 points despite the loss to Jeruselem. Jeruselem jump to 9 points in 2nd. Pyazhnaya hold down 3rd spot, and are still undefeated. Gortolekua and Ranoria on 7 points in 4th and 5th, while Trolleborg back on 6th with 6 points. Acastanha and TotoMishin have 4 points, Britonisea and ... Potenzia and Tekatus pointless still.

Early days but note that Pyazhnaya, Gortolekua and Ranoria are undefeated still.
Jeruselem and Baker Park have 1 loss each, but still looking dangerous.
Expect Trolleborg to bounce back from the recent loss.

As usual, people send in questions!
As a football non-entity ... me, I don't know that much about football but I'll do my best.

Do players have a moral code to follow? The answer is ... no, we don't really care as long as you do your job and don't illegal shit. We don't enforce some kind of utopian moral code as the players come from all sorts of places and seem to be quite different to each other.
What is the recreational drug policy with team? It's pretty much zero while you are working. Why people do outside work is their own business, but anything illegal will have consequences. That includes alcohol, but alcohol during sanctioned work parties is fine as they don't involve work.
How does one get the job of official World Cup roving report at Naked News Jeruselem? Err, that's up to the person running Naked News Jeruselem which just happens to be Princess Kate ... it's not democratic, it's up to the idiosyncracies at Naked News Jeruselem. Being a friend with the boss helps ...
Can news outlets other than Naked News Jeruselem follow the team? Yes, they sure can but they have to everything at their own costs and they have to kinda do their own scheduling obviously following the official team schedule. This doesn't happen because most news outlets are too fucking lazy to do this and just get the new from us.
Is there a dress code for the team? If it's an official World Cup event or official team function, yes - there's a dress code. Yes for official work stuff, basically. Outside work, not really. I tend wander around nude by accident ... but that's just me.

Yeah, that's all from me now. We're going back home after a successful game today.

by **Milchama** » Wed May 11, 2022 8:53 pm

"So I want to tell you a story"

"OK"

"Do you know why I never wear my England football jersey?"

"What's England?"

"It's not important"

"Are you sure? It seems relevant to the story"

"The people reading this will understand"

"Reading?"

"Just work with me here"

"No, you got to explain more"

"It's an England jersey"

"Ok whatever"

"Perfect. So I don't wear my England jersey because one day I had two tests in 6th grade and I thought I did really well on them but they both came back as Ds so I figure the England shirt is bad luck, now I refuse to wear it eventhough that happened in 2001"

"Hmm...well you're old and also that makes total sense because England"

"See I knew you'd get it"

"Yeah I still have no idea what you're talking about. How are real teams like Milchama doing?"

"Bad, 1 and 3"

"Aren't there draws in soccer?"

"Not for this Warrior team who only win or lose"

"Oh ok"

"How are we doing in the AO Qualifying Cup?"

"1 and 1"

"Who did we lose to?"

"Banija"

"No surprise there"

"Not really"

"Who did we beat?"

"Quakmybush"

"So basically chalk"

"Yep"

"How does the table look?"

Pts 
1 Banija                         4    4   0   0    14    6   +8    12
2 Milchama                       2    1   0   1     2    3   −1     3
3 Quakmybush                     3    1   0   2     4    6   −2     3
4 Efnakia                        1    0   0   1     1    3   −2     0
5 Squornshelan Remnant States    2    0   0   2     4    7   −3     0

"Hey! We're doing pretty well!"

"Yep, second place is not bad but Banija is running away with it pretty clearly"

"Well only having one win in qualifying will make it harder to win"

"Definitely"

"What's going on with SRS?"

"They're not good this year, I think it has something to do with the Remnant"

"Oh only being a part of something makes them worse"

"Exactly, especially in such a heavy AO group like ours"

"So we're screwed?"

"No, we could really do well in the CoH"

"Ok good to know"

"But we have no confidence"

"I gave an anecdote about England, what do you think?"

"Fair enough"

"You know the anecdote is true IRL"

"I mean it's unclear what IRL is in our universe but I'm aware"

"Ok cool"

"So what do we do?"

"Pray to Margaret and hope for the best"

"Works for me"

"So say as I say and do as I do"

'Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Now repeat after me!"

"Forini! Forini!"
"Finidi! Finidi!"
"George! George!"
"Oh Brother! Oh brother!"

*They strip and run around for 18 minutes*

"We pray the Margaret of SnubNose 38 and Random Number God that you may deliver us victory over Banija and any other infidels that we face in international play"

"Sacrifice the Rubber Chicken!"

*Swoosh of an axe and the chicken is dead*

"Margaret we pray that you take this sacrifice of a rubber chicken in good faith and that by your deliverance Milchama does well in all international competitions"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

by **Cardenao** » Wed May 11, 2022 8:54 pm

An aide offered him a cigar which he eagerly took, put into his mouth and started chewing. Those in the room knew what this meant: it was decision time for Mihaly Otamendi, President of the Federated Republic of the Kingdom of Cardenao. Yes it was time to make a decision that could quite possibly change the fate of the Republic forever, no hyperbole involved. Cardenao was at an immense point in its history, standing at the crossroads of an unforeseeable amount of potential paths. And so President Mihaly, he preferred using his first name, it was more personal and made him more approachable, chewed his cigar butt as he always did when making a big decision, pondering what direction to take Cardenao.

The heart of the issues were quite simple when plainly stated. 1. Should Cardenao fully enter the global arena and become an international participant, or should they accept just enough foreign aid to address glaring issues before retreating back into the Age of Isolation? 2. If Cardenao is going to go international, to what extent does the Cardonian relationship with Banija stay the primary relationship? Does Mihaly let other nations into Cardenao to invest and help build? 3. What is the path to becoming established and internationally respected? Not necessarily a massive military power or an economic powerhouse, simply earning the respect of the world. These were the questions that chewed away at Mihaly, these are the issues at the forefront of Cardonian foreign relations, and he had already answered one publicly.

Indeed, the President had penned an open address to the world asking for any sort of foreign aid, whether it’s medicine, cars, guns, renewable energy technology, raw resources and materials, anything that would help Cardenao unify and progress into the modern age. So he had written a heartfelt letter at the very same deep mahogany he now sat at, addressed it simply to ‘Global Leaders of People’ and sent it out into the world. While that was undeniably the right thing to do, it did pose a bit of a drawback.

The relationship between the Kingdom of Banija and the Federated Republic of Cardenao was one that had been building for decades. After the 100 year dark period where Cardenao was an indentured servant state to the Echani Republic, Banijan merchants and lower class citizens seeking a fresh start were quick to immigrate to the country with good weather, great fishing, and plenty of economic potential if it were developed right. The Cardonian people are very easy going, just happy to be alive and feel the sun on their face, so the Banijans found themselves welcomed with very open hands and so an international relationship started to grow, unofficially at least. For two generations now, the Banijan community has been settled in Cardenao and slowly growing every year, and they have become integrated and beloved members of the local community, with intermarriages becoming quite commonplace to the point where one of the players on the Cardenao National Football Team is actually half-Banijan.

As is generally the case, it wasn’t too long after the immigrant community got settled, started expanding, and established itself in the public eye that more high profile Banijan businesses started to appear, companies like Kataga Beer and PetroBan who came to sell lower class beer marketed as sorta nice and oil and gas respectively. And so the first international businesses came to Cardenao, businesses that weren’t the ones from Eshan that is, who used to abuse and take advantage of the local population in a catalog of particular heinosity. The Banijan companies were nothing like that, they were staffed by the Banijan immigrant community, they were always warm and welcoming to their customers (it’s easy to see why though considering the rate that the financially illiterate Cardonians spend their money), and they were very very successful indeed, with massive profit margins that signaled economic opportunity in a big, big way. It was only a matter of time before the big Banijan fish got involved, they just had to find the opportunity and it wasn’t long until the perfect situation arose for the Regional Transit Corporation to announce their presence.

East and West Cardenao are separated by a long stretch of water that sits between the Ocean of Ayes and the Itsasoan Sea in southern Anaia, and it is that stretch of water that has led to vastly different cultures and ways of living in the two separate mainlands. The interesting and rather depressing thing about that stretch of water is that…it didn’t used to exist. No, up until three generations ago, that water was not there and was instead a potent landbridge that stretched from East Cardenao on the Nova Calania continent and West Cardenao on the Lurnautsia continent. It was more than a landbridge, it was an incredibly fertile stretch of soil that formed the heartland of Cardenao. An ancient system of seawalls, dikes, and large moats served to keep the oceans sealed away from the land, allowing Cardonians to take advantage of the wonderful growing conditions and nurture prodigiously producing farms, vineyards, and groweries. It was the veritable cornucopia of Cardenao, the most populated part of the country with the best land, businesses, civil defense forces, and the biggest cities.

It was a beautiful thing to see and it can not be understated how large a national wound was created when the Echani invaders tore down the seawalls and flooded the landbridge.

Overnight everything had changed for Cardenao. Millions of square miles of fertile land was gone. Millions of lives were gone. Businesses, families, hopes and dreams, hills and farmland alike, all crushed and swept away by the merciless sea. The country shrunk by 50% of it’s landmass and lost more people than civil servants could identify and add to the official tally. The spirit of the nation was broken in an instant and what followed was decades of darkness. Decades of pain, decades of self-loathing, wondering how they,the people, hadn’t stood up to this colonizing force. Decades of looking at the place where your family had stayed for a century but it was naught but ocean and fish now. That sort of pain, that national trauma can not be fully described, and it was only now, with the entrance in the World Cup, that Cardenao was attempting to break through the national depression and take its destiny into its own hands once more.

The flooding had caused…several problems, but one of the more immediate issues was that of transportation. More specifically, how exactly was East and West Cardenao supposed to do much of anything with each other anymore now that there was a massive expanse of water separating the two where there had once been easily navigable earth and rock. There was a brief separtist movement based on whether the two even constituted a full country anymore or if they should go their separate ways and become two new nations. King Diego Arnault Zelaya and President Justise Marravora took swift, if brutal action to shut that down and make clear that Cardenao would emerge unified. With that dealt with, the matter of facilitating transport between the two mainlands stood at the forefront of the national debate.

After some time, it became clear the most practical solution was creating an extensive ferry service that would very frequently travel between East and West Cardenao and the several islands sitting off their coasts. This would be cheap to operate and for customers to use, fairly easy to schedule and deal with logistics, and best of all, took advantage of the natural Cardonian aptitude for the ocean; even before the Terrible Flood the average Cardonian was spending a fair bit of their life in or around the sea. So just like that, the Cardonian Commission for Intercontinental Ferrying, or CCIF, was born. It took a while to get all the logistics put together, boats built, bought or otherwise sourced, captains and ship crews hired and trained, routes mapped out, surveyed, and established, but after two years the maiden voyage was undertaken and everything was just great. Until it wasn’t.

You see, generally speaking Cardonian’s don’t exactly have the greatest work ethic to the point that showing up to your work shift was more of an option than a contractual obligation; why work in a factory when you can play football and drink with your friends? And so the question became; why operate your ferry when you could be fishing and drink with your friends? On that note, pretty much immediately issues arose with employee scheduling, ferries showing up to their destination on time, Captains walking off the job to visit the local Adult Dancing lounge, it was just a mess. It was an economic opportunity.

Enter the Banijan company Regional Transit Corporation, undoubtedly one of the largest companies in the world, Transit was the name, transit was the game. Their massive reputation had reached even the rural backwater of Cardenao, so when RTC approached the Cardonian government with a very enticing offer, the nation’s destiny changed again.

A world-class ferry service the likes of which were few and far between in this world, a network made up of top of the line ferries with professionals drilled and trained in this art. It would seamlessly facilitate on-time transportation between East and West Cardenao, with additional lines connecting those islands incorporated with the Federated Kingdom, bringing constant opportunities for travel to whatever major port a citizen could need to visit. It was the perfect solution to the government’s intercontinental traveling issue.

But...

But, it would cost in the neighborhood of $6 billion a year. That was money the government simply didn’t have to spend, nor did then President Nico Mataron want to pass that cost onto the citizens by making them pay, so a solution to spending money he did not have was the new question. Fortunately, that is the perfect question to ask a government and the solution was easily found. Open up the borders even more and do everything possible to bring in the tourists. And so, through a combination of policy, grassroots awareness to the benefits of allowing tourism, and a whole lot of not caring what the citizens felt, Cardenao opened her borders for tourists and the impact was immediate; turns out there’s quite the market for perfect sunny temperate weather year round, best in the world fishing, a wonderful party culture, and everything else that made Cardenao, Cardenao, and the tourists haven’t stopped streaming in since. Just like that, President Mataron had his solution: use the income generated by these tourists and the fledgling exportation market to fund the free ferry service. Boom, professional ferry service that was the envy of the region was secured and Cardenao was open for business.

Which brought us to the current issue: President Mihaly’s statement to the world had been ill-received by Ambassador Okafor, the Banijan ataché to Cardenao and active proponent for the Regional Transit Corporation. Mihaly’s words had upset them, he knew that would happen, as the Banijan’s desperately wanted to retain their monopoly on the extremely lucrative ferry line while, assumedly, wanting to expand their influence into other economic sectors. So how was Mihaly supposed to placate Ambassador Okafor and the Banijans, ensuring them that they would continue to have their big slice of the pie while making it clear that other nations were very much welcome to the country and that was not up for debate. It was Cardenao, not the country of Regional Transit Corporation, and Cardenao would govern herself.

President Mihaly chewed on his cigar, pondering the unilateral course of action he knew he had to take.

“Write an official communication to Ambassador Okafor that gets these points across,” he said as he turned his will into action, “Cardenao has and will always honor the special relationship that exists between our countries. Things will remain as normal for RTC and other Banijan companies within Cardonian borders, other opportunities must be made available to other foreign investment so our relationship can grow. To that end, it is high time for a modern public transportation system to be planned and implemented in Cardenao. I am inviting you to the Prescium, the Presidential building I know you’re familiar with, to discuss this matter and further grow our national relationship. I look forward to seeing you.”

With that, President Mihaly Otamendi leaned back in his leather chair. Destiny had again been set for Cardenao, and he was to see it through.

by **Chromatika** » Wed May 11, 2022 10:02 pm

Part 1: The Announcement and The Draw
Part 2: The Resolute

Matchday 3: Pemecutan 5-3 Chromatika
Goals: Hauser '42, '68, Wen '80
Starting XI: (4-2-3-1) - Fillar, J. (C); Fillar, G. - de Aea - Anbient - Ighv; Zuniga - Larriet-Cortes; Wen - Hauser - Kuznetsov; Gainsbourg.
Substitutes: Régine -> Anbient ('52), Fillar, B. -> Larriet-Cortes ('63), Killian -> Gainsbourg ('70)
MVP for Chromatika: AM Haley Hauser
Summary: Despite Haley Hauser's brace and Wen Xhose's goal making things interesting, Chromatika was never able to take the lead against top-seeded Pemecutan, ultimately falling by a score of three goals to five at Tegeh Kori National Stadium in Pemecutan Puri in a meaningful matchup between the top two seeds in Group 11. Leo Olivando proved to be too much for Chromatika, who also conceded goals to Bayo Hermawan, Dewa Putu Mahardika, and Rama Karyadi. If there was a positive aspect to the match, it was that the Anomalies never looked dejected nor lost, fighting to the bitter end and making sure that Pemecutan couldn't let their guard down. The Chromatiks will hope to return the favor in the return leg held at the Capitalzt Dome in Matchday 14.
Matchday 4: Chromatika 6-1 Raspotochje @ RCK Field, Alnio, Capital District, Chromatika (Cap. 100,400; 32,000 Seats)
Goals: Kuznetsov '5, Gainsbourg '33, Fillar, E. '49, '61, '73, de Aea '83
Starting XI: (4-2-3-1) - Fillar, J. (C); Fillar, G. - de Aea - Anbient - Ighv; Zuniga - Larriet-Cortes; Wen - Hauser - Kuznetsov; Gainsbourg.
Substitutes: Fillar, E. -> Kuznetsov ('48), Aimée -> Ighv ('62), Pheon -> Larriet-Cortes ('70)
MVP for Chromatika: LW Edith Fillar
Summary: More on Edith Fillar's individual brilliance later, but let's talk about just how the Chromatik team took care of business against a lower ranked side, getting six past Raspotochje to make some headway in the Goal Differential column and never letting up, no matter what the score was. Sure, Raspotochje did get one back, but Chromatika led early and never looked back. Now that they've finished the top four seeds of the group at 1-1-1, it's all about not dropping games to the others.
Matchday 5 @ (UR) Thibaea and Matchday 6: BYE
Predicted Starting XI: (4-2-3-1) - Enax; Vitan - Ansoll - Nodis - Guess; Ju - Apt; Baum - Laurette - Damani; Oveni.
Reserves: GK Kathie Begley, GK Lorée Bautista, RB Victoire De Saint-Pierre, CB Damon Ingram, CB Giles Ken, LB Ipati Aimée, RW Emilie Kruetzberg, DM Leysa Burns, DM Enigma Armageddon, AM Alissar Phoen, LW Miranda Andersen, ST Paskal Toussaint.

Sybill & Hellion Redux, Part 3: The Triple

A hat trick

RCK Field
Alnio, Chromatika

When asked about who is the flashiest player on the Anomalies' roster, a few names would come to mind. There's Haley Hauser, with 64 caps at age 28, one of the duo that is making Chromatik football so Attacking Midfielder-based. There's her duo partner, Baillaire Fillar, with her twenty-year old youth and playmaking ability. There's the likes of Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov, the Vice Captain and the one who dictates the pace. One could even mention Alicia Gainsbourg and her unorthodox fit to the cadence of this squad, or the fluid presence of one Wen Xhose, who's really come into his own in the last two world cups.

However, the most mentioned name of them all would be that of an eighteen year old who just completed the last U-18 World Cup of her tenure, the player who's being naturally overshadowed by one of the greatest to play at her position in Vasiliy. Of course, we are talking about Edith Fillar - the youngest of the Fillars, the drill sergeant of the quartet, and one of the few players to reach double digits in caps before they even turned twenty years old.

What makes Edith Fillar so brilliant? There's the breakneck speed with which she completes her turns, reminding everyone of the simple brilliance that was Meagan Kelly in the early days of Chromatik football, making up for the lack of size (she is only 5' 7", after all) by simply breezing by people and having an endless motor that shows no signs of slowing down regardless of how long she's been on the pitch. In the offseason, Edith runs half-marathons and mini triathlons to build up stamina. She is a freak of nature and a gym rat at heart, and that shows, especially during the second halves of matches.

Then, there's the drive to be the best. She has not used the excuse of having three older siblings also on the team even once in her interviews. When she's asked about the fact that she is being kept from opportunities by the existence of Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov, she's always been respectful of the superstar but also unapologetic, stating that she would be starting in his stead if she was simply better than him, which she wasn't, yet. This ability to both acknowledge the strengths of other players while also having the confidence to say that she has the potential to reach that level of play is not easy to find in a young player, showing both maturity and drive.

What sets Edith Fillar apart from everyone else, though, is her heart, and the ability to take over games. In the game against Raspotochje, the Anomalies had been dictating the pace and doing pretty well in the first half, getting to a 2-0 lead before the visitors were able to claw one back for the halftime margin of a single goal. Sandra Sybill made the call to give Vasiliy a rest in the second half - he had played three full games in the campaign so far - and Edith made the most of the opportunity.

In the next twenty-four minutes, the eighteen year old scored a hat trick using three different parts of her body - her right foot, her head, and her left foot. The first was a midrange shot from the right corner, the second a neat header off of a rebound from Haley Hauser's shot, and the third a tap-in after a steal of the ball in the Raspotochje third of the pitch. Then, she followed up that performance by assisting in the final goal of the game, a corner that Henri de Aea headed into the back of the net for the final margin of five goals.

Edith Fillar had, in a way, made it so that nobody missed VMK after his absence. No, she'd put together a performance that was impressive, no matter the level of the opposition. She'd become one of the youngest in Chromatik history to record a hat trick in a World Cup Qualifying match, all the while carrying her total goals scored record to double digits emphatically.

By the end of her performance, she had analysts wondering if there was a way to put two left wingers in the game at the same time so that both VMK and Edith could participate. The short, easy answer was that it wasn't possible, but the fact that she had even caused that level of hubbub was a testament to her raw skill and the work she'd done so far - all at the age of eighteen.

If another question was asked to everyone - namely, who's the one player that will determine Chromatika's footballing future - the answer, unanimously, would be Edith Fillar.

She'd put the whole nation on notice regarding why that should be the case.

3. Dimitri

When Dimitri Jonkovich received the phone call from Melanie Bosh to carry a story without making it clear who his sources was, he'd balked. Melanie was the type to see conspiracies in everything, and he had grown tired of her antics from the previous instances where she had told him that she had a scoop. However, after some instance by Bosh, and after talking to Lya Bartell, who was far more reserved and even-keeled, Dimitri agreed to take a look at the data and see if something was actionable.

As he read through the high-level overview regarding the 1,281 people that had gone missing after the CP Sponsorship Program's activation had begun, he started to see the correlation, leading to shivers going down his spine. Was this actually happening in Chromatika? Again, when the country had just gone through the absolute garbage that it had suffered already? Could they even carry the burden of another event at this scale?

Before he could do anything else, however, his cell phone rang with a call from an unknown number. As Dimitri's work phone was where he got leads from, he didn't think too much of it and picked it up.

"Dimitri Jonkovich?" came a voice from the other side, indistinguishable. The voice sounded almost mechanical, and there was no distinction on whether the person on the other end was male or female, young or elderly. There were no distinguishable features at all.

"Speaking," he responded, his breath catching in his throat. Something was wrong. There was no way that a voice should be like what he was hearing, not unless it was being doctored on purpose, or...

"You need to drop that story you are considering writing," continued the voice without any characteristics, "Before you end up doing something that you'll regret. Don't you worry about the two police officers - they will be taken care of. You need to destroy the data and turn a blind eye to all this, do you understand? For the sake of you, but also for the sake of your loved ones. Please acknowledge."

To hear all those words without any inflection nor change in volume was the creepiest thing. Imagine hearing a threat, but there is no emotion behind it, as if it was just a fact and not an actual threat. As panic crept in his mind, the voice added:

"You have twelve hours to decide. If that data is not destroyed in that time, there will be consequences. Oh, and please don't try go communicate this to anyone else. That would not be wise."

Then, the call ended. When he tried to look back at the number or look at the record of the call, there was none. It was as if the call had never existed.

He double-checked his watch. By his approximation, the call took at least a minute and twelve seconds. His watch said, instead, that only three seconds had passed from the time that he looked at his watch before the call (a habit of his because he liked to leave notes about when he received certain calls).

How was this possible? Was he going insane? Was that just a dream or a hallucination?

As worry and doubt filled his mind, he closed the file containing the data that had been sent to him by the police officers. He had some thinking to do, and a decision to make.

Unbeknownst to Dimitri Jonkovich at the time, the number of missing people related to the CP Sponsorship Program distribution increased to 1,283 - including two police officers, Lya Bartell and Melanie Bosh.

by **Kamisato Ayaka Nation** » Wed May 11, 2022 10:38 pm

“Ayato” was quite different when he wasn’t in a good mood.

For most of the time, he didn’t really project his anger or negativity on anything. Then again, he rarely showed any feeling excluding his being awfully fuzzy with Ayaka that one time. Of late, however, he was unhappy and was glad to let the whole world know that.

“Brother, I —”

“I’m busy. Don’t bother me.” He would sharply respond with a very apparent frown on his face.

“Brother, what are you doing?”

“I’m working on fixing your cognitive skills.” He said, creasing his eyebrows as he was messing around on a surface Ayaka didn’t recognise. Was he trying to kill an ant?

On second thought, perhaps he was just as unhinged as he was unhappy.

“Ayato” didn’t publicise why he wasn’t in a good mood, but one look at the team’s results for the World Cup Qualifiers and you could kind of see where he was coming from. Only one point picked up from three games wasn’t exactly a good track record. Though one could make the argument that they were underdogs, “Ayato” wasn’t having any of it. If he was to be honest, the blame was on the players.

The players.

It was as if he wasn’t the one who held them captive and forced them to achieve a seemingly impossible goal, and he was acting as if he didn’t devise the team’s tactics. Still, “Ayato” couldn’t bear to criticise the Ayakas directly. Of course, they didn’t even know why he was angry. He still had a lot of faith in them and wanted to make them feel as safe as possible. After all, the worst thing that could happen was the Ayakas getting pissed off and overthrowing him before going back to where they — or she — came from. He shuddered thinking of the consequences of that.

Ayaka, meanwhile, was confused and worried simultaneously. Was “Ayato” angry because of her? Or was he angry at something else? She pondered the latter before laughing herself off. There was almost nothing around him other than the facility and, well, herself. She doubt he’d get angry and stay so at something for a prolonged period of time. It didn’t seem to be in his nature to hyperfixate anyway; then again, she barely knew anything about him.

Even if he was angry at her, was she entirely wrong? She had already lost a lot of motivation for the whole “project” in general. When the only action you get is hanging out in an enclosure with doppelgängers and your brother’s impersonator and play a sport you knew zilch about, you’d get bored really quickly, and she was feeling that boredom radiate deep into her bones. It was as if she was being imprisoned in a foreign pocket of the universe, a draconian dystopia even.

Well, she wasn’t so far from the truth, was it?

World Cup 81/82/83/84

A Tale of Two Cities for BPNT
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

It wasn't as dramatic as "the best of times and the worst of times", but it was a split decision on the second round of matches for World Cup 91 Qualifying, as Baker Park's National Team suffered their first loss in the tournament, and just their second in the last 21 matches, a 2-0 defeat to Jeruselem at the Dazza Dallas Stadium; a surprisingly vocal home support--mostly clothed--brought a different dynamic to the match in comparison to the previous visit of the Bees in WCQ 89.

"Everyone wants to begin the talk--'what's wrong with Baker Park? How do they lose to Jeruselem?'--and the answer is quite simple and not at all surprising. There's nothing wrong with us, and this was the statistically expected outcome", began Manager Jennifer Prescott's post match interview.
"They (the Princesses) are the 20th ranked team in the multiverse, I sometimes feel like we are the only nation that realizes that. I said way back that we recognize and respect their achievement--they're sixth all time in qualifying for the Finals. Number 2 hosting Number 1 in a qualifying group and the home side winning is not an upset, not in my mind."

The Bees then redeemed themselves with a victory over BOF 78 side TotoMishin, 6-1 at the Salisbury City Stadium, where NT Captain Marcus Nolan earned his 100th cap--the eighth player in history to reach that milestone--as well as scoring one of the first half goals which provided a 4-0 halftime cushion.

Lainey Wadsworth broke the deadlock after 9 minutes with a header, followed by Nicole D'Amico's left footed volley from 14 yards in the 21st minute; after Nolan made it three sixteen minutes later, Olivia Ryan crossed over off left wing to her right foot before smashing a laser into the top far corner with 3 minutes left to provide a cushion that allowed Prescott to bring Nolan off to a rousing ovation just five minutes after the restart; Elena Diaz came on for Wadsworth at the hour mark and she knocked in her own tally in reply to the visitor's lone consolation with 15 minutes to go, while Paul Vetter--Nolan's replacement--closed out the scoring with a free kick from 23 yards 5 minutes later.

The BP boss summed up the MD performance with a simple explanation of the bigger picture.

"We bounced right back tonight, good atmosphere here in Salisbury as they're excited to be back in the Championship (Division), and we played really well over the course of the match. To us, it's more important to give players additional experience than it is to run roughshod over nations that are making their first steps into the World Cup"

The Bees will next travel to Richardson, Ranoria to take on the fourth seeds in Group 4 at Smith Field, home of the 'Red Turf', a 3rd Generation Artificial pitch that is solid fire-engine red.
"Luckily, having played there fairly recently (in the pre-World Cup 90 friendly series), it won't be a novelty to distract from the normal preparations. They've (Ranorian NT) come a long way pretty quickly since their BOF and like a lot of Pot Four nations, they are no joke and present a threat to us, especially given their alignment and playing style."

This will be the first competitive meeting between the nations and third time overall they've faced each other; the previous encounters (the first during half-way point of WCQ 88 in addition to the previously mentioned fixture in Richardson) have ended in draws, and the BP Manager has said that she'll field a 'strong XI' against the newly re-christened "Snow Bears".

"As we get closer to our bye in this half (MD 8 following the trip to Pyaznhaya) we need to concentrate on not dropping points stupidly. We'll be looking at getting into a faster tempo and more aggressive front line press over the next few matches."

Lineup vs Ranoria:

Vickers; Brooks, Rasanamira (C), Hughes; Grimaldi, Wiley, Buxton, Boyle; Phan; Baum, Gibson

Lineup vs Tekatus:

Johnston (C); Edmonds, Onikambe, Bauer; Eichorn, Vuckovic, Milton, Altman; Craig; Pryor, West

____________________________________________________________________________________________

ASSEMBLY EXPANSION APPROVED FOR NEXT ELECTION

CBPA To Be Amended For Change In State Distribution

Victoria Pelphry
The Daily Mail Chief Parliamentary Correspondent

The House of Assembly tonight passed the most sweeping change in history to the composition of the body, and will make a fundamental alteration to the Commonwealth of Baker Park Act regarding the long established formula regarding the distribution of seats to each state.

The Act to Revise and Amend the General Election Act of 1950 (16 Acts 5-11), which set the current number of constituencies in the Assembly at 175, was passed 157-10 to pave the way for a 231 seat House when the next General Election takes place, with the boundaries of each district to be determined following the Census next year; the Council of State will remain at 56 members, as the there was no real sentiment to expanding the current 8 seats per state makeup of the upper house.

The final hurdle to be crossed is a bill to amend Chapter IV of the Commonwealth of Baker Park Act to alter the 42/33/25 allocation among states to a formula that is closer to the actual population breakdown, that can be shifted as necessary as demographic trends change.

The bill now moves to the Council for final approval before it is submitted to the Head for his signature, both of which are expected to be pro forma; when the Act takes effect, it will reduce the size of an average constituency from the current 293,000 persons to around 230,000 based on estimates from the Office of the Census Registrar as to how much the population growth will be reflected in the upcoming count.

Alongside the City Corporations Act passed in the previous session which will also come into force following the completion of the decennial population tally, the nation will have the biggest change in governance at both local and Federal level since the founding of the Commonwealth; although there have only been rumors on the subject, the government may adopt a campaign policy to overhaul the Town & County Law to further streamline the local government structure by possibly eliminating one of three subdivisions from the current county system.

by **Acastanha** » Thu May 12, 2022 1:28 am

Road to Election

It is still around a year a way from the election period but the atmosphere can be felt. From more political figures seen in public or on the camera. Issues are being talk. And party coalition is being break and remake. This situation makes Acastanha as one of the most fluid country in term of their political sense. But behind its fluidity, there is a big wall that divided the country.

After the country's civil war, or known as Arrakan War, Acastanha is physically divide into 2 main entities. Arra with a predominant indigenous people and Palidas which is a mixed Portuguese majority region. These two region was established as a separate state within the country Acastanha. Hence, the Republic of Arra and Republic of Palidas are created. In between these 2 region, established a federal capital region which house the capital city of Acastanha, Amarelda. Over the course of 40 years from their creation, both regions become more and more separated. A different languages, economic disparity and lack of interconnectivity between the two have pressure the central government to do what's best before it starts to breaking apart.

During their establishment, both regions are highly independent. Their government have the responsibility in most field except for macro economy, foreign relations and defense. Both have their own media, sports associations, healthcare and education system which sometimes not sustainable and not synergistic between one another. Even the political party based in Arra can't win the election in Palidas and vice versa. The central government then have to introduce a national healthcare and education guideline in order to connect the two disconnected systems. To make it even worse, the western province of Palidas, Occidental which is Malay majority is also pushing for more autonomy.

Political expert stated that the next term of Acastanha government will be dealing with a huge issue in front of them. How to reunite the whole country and erase the disparity. Or else, the country will be more and more divided.

by **Mertagne** » Thu May 12, 2022 2:54 am

'Mertagnian Assembly' Vote Begins in National Forum
Motion is tabled to vote, albeit with several key changes

Dannin, DANNMARSH-- A hotly contested debate regarding the creation of a 'Mertagnian Assembly' in order to begin reform to the Mertagnian Charter has been ongoing in the national forum this week, after the motion was tabled by Malcolm Noirot of the Aurrerra! block last week. The motion, which has been a divisive subject between all political blocks for a variety of reasons, has seen much debate in the past week, and the far-reaching potential scope of the Assembly has been clarified for the benfit of National Forum Members and the general public.

At the start of the week, the proposal intended to hold a 'Mertagnian Assembly', a convention in which all current Regional Forum members could come together and draft a new Frame of Government, after Aurrerra! became the second largest political block in the National Forum by campaigning on this platform.

After a staunch week of debate that has seen almost all NFMs working long into the night, the wording of the proposal has changed in several ways. The first and possibly the largest change came after Phillippa Brawdley NFM, of the Liberal League, claimed that in the current instance of the Mertagnian Charter, the government ceases to exist if a new frame of government is proposed, and as a part of that process it forefits entry to all international bodies. As this move would mean the Mertagnian withdrawal from many key international organisations, such as the World Assembly, AORTA, and AUNTIE, the wording of the motion has been changed to instead scrutinise the current Mertagnian Charter - which can only currently be amended by a 70% majority vote of the Federal Council. This motion, if passed, will sidestep that process and allow for the Mertagnian Assembly to re-draft the Mertagnian Charter, ensuring it is the same document in the eyes of international statute, when in reality it may be very different.

Another change to the Assembly itself is in who is delegated to debate the changes to the charter. In the previous wording, all RFMs were to convene to propose and debate a new Frame of Government. On Wednesday, a surprising move from UMP NFM Galen le Divot appeared to show some poly-partisanship by proposing a compromise that seemed to appeal to the more centralised factions of the forum, in that each province would instead send four delegates, regardless of provincial population. Galen claimed that sending all the RFMs would cause a scenario in which 'too many cooks' would 'water down the democratic process', and that it would be left to the provinces on how to select their delegates, be it through elections, direct appointment, or another method.

Finally, a large change was decided in how the amendments to the Charter would be enshrined in law. It was decided that in the event that a revised Mertagnian Charter is completed, a national referendum will be implemented to determine if the changes are acceptable to the public. In the event of a majority vote for, the new Charter would be ratified individually by the current Regional Forums. As it is yet unknown what a new Frame of Government will look like, the Regional Forums in their current form may cease to exist, and as such it was clearly defined that the current Regional Forums will vote to ratify the new charter, and once it is ratified the new law will be applied to them. There is potential for Regional Forums that are staunchly against a new Mertagnian Charter to protest this change and refuse to ratify it, and as such under the current wording of the motion, a new Mertagnian Charter will be assumed to be ratified nationally if it is ratified by at least thirteen Regional Forums.

As the vote begins, key figures from pro-Assembly political blocks have expressed that they have been happy with how the process is unfolding. Malcolm Noirot, Freskovian NFM from Aurrerra! stated that he was 'pleased to see that the democratic process has unfolded as it should', and that 'NFMs are taking seriously the demands of the general public'. He added that 'while we have our problems with the current form of the Mertagnian Charter, it's clear to see that at its core there is a robust system that has just a few too many roadblocks to making real, reactive change'.

The roadblocks that Noirot discusses are likely to be in the form of one of his biggest political opponents - Alyson Hydguera, the incumbent President. Hydguera and her Federal Council could kill this motion dead in the water with the power of Presidential veto, but recent olive-branch moves from National Forum member suggets she may instead allow the process to take place, and once again become a fundamental member in the drafting of a Frame of Government. Hydguera herself sat among the company of Statesman Joseio Roper during the original Dannin Summit several years ago, when the Mertagnian Charter was initially formed, and was a steadfast proponent for a tough series of checks and balances to ensure that the hard times that created events such as the Corvidae Crisis and the Insulation didn't occur again. An opportunity to revisit those checks and balances and ensure they are enshrined in a way that is palatable to Hydguera and her centrist centralised United Mertagne Party is an opportunity that she is likely to be considering, especially when weighed up against a growing public sentiment for reform.

by **Kuraita** » Thu May 12, 2022 3:20 am

Pride

Apartment building near Auksturts, Kuraita
Five months before the Arcjuga Accords

Assembled in a basement again. Mindaugas started to have enough of basements for sure, but it was the only way they could meet in secret in this country. Kuraita, country of secrets, he thought to himself as he and his friends were leaning forward to the small laptop screen as the stream from Savojarna loaded up. Mindaugas was a third year student in psychology at the University of Auksturts, and most of the people around him were students too, all switching between a mood of playful adventurism and nervousness as they realised what they were risking. Jonas, the shaggy-haired computer science student who had set up the stream, wasn’t looking half asleep as usual, but instead nervously checking the connection again, making sure the VPN was active and they would not be tracked. Vilija, the tall pale political scientist next to Mindaugas, was adjusting her glasses for what must have been the hundredth time already. Mindaugas’ classmate Aina and her best friend Justina were sat next to him, both of them making jokes and laughing boisterously about them in ways that just about didn’t cover up their nerves.

“Shut up, guys, he’s about to speak”, the last of the group hissed. Davids was a master student in biology, the unspoken leader of the group and Mindaugas’ best friend from school. Bolder and more daring, strong in both body and mind, he managed to calm them down for about a second as a man in his mid forties, dressed in a suit with a dark red tie and wearing a pin with a white Vytis on it, smartly styled, but with glasses giving him a nerdy touch, appeared. The man looked like he might be your favourite professor dressed up for a job interview, but it was democracy activist Armandas Cigoras, streaming from the most famous secret location in all of Kuraita. All they knew was that it was an office in Savojarna. Cigoras was promising change, promising action, calling upon his supporters to demonstrate, to go to Arcjuga and show in the streets. It was a rousing speech, and a big contrast with the official speech of Simas Mandrins earlier on the day, commemorating the passing of the Kuraitan “constitution”, a mockery of a document cementing and legalising the army dictatorship. With the speech finishing up, Vilija lifted up a glass of water with a look of biting sarcasm on her face. “Happy Constitution Day, long live Kuraita”, she snarked. “To our great First Leader; unparalleled in the world”, Mindaugas replied, “in his ability to wax bullshit about this country. If only he was as good at providing for his citizens”.

It got a little nervous smile out of Vilija, and a hearty laugh of Aina and Justina. Davids raised his own glass. “To our Kuraitan Republic, home of academic censorship and great weapons production”, he said. “Fuck this country. I can’t wait to actually do interesting research instead of whatever Simas considers to be justifying his bullshit”, Vilija responded. The group’s feelings at this moment were clear: There was no pride in being Kuraitan for the young citizens of the republic, and the gigantic blanket of lead that seemed to lie on the country was just occasionally broken by speeches like Cigoras’ address, that they had to follow in secret and through VPN’s.

Stadions Tomas Ozolinš, Auksturts, Kuraita
Second Matchday of World Cup Qualifiers

Things had changed since that basement night nine months ago. The double cross over the city hall, the only sight that Mindaugas and his friends ever remembered on their city’s square, was now replaced by the Vytis. Mindaugas himself was dressed in Kuraitan colours, something he could not have imagined a year ago. Next to him, Vilija, snarky, dry, cynical Vilija, was carrying a dark red, black and golden flag with the white Vytis on it. The revolutionary flag, no, the national flag, he corrected himself. They even stood up to sing the anthem, something none of them would have done voluntarily a year prior. As if to mirror their mood, the sun had made a timid appearance over Auksturts as the teams were walking out onto the pitch. Maphidon in white and green, the first foreign team to visit a rebuilding Kuraita. And then, the hosts, dressed in dark red, a gold, black and white stripe diagonally dragging across the chest as they lined up on the centre line and the announcer read off their names.

Of course, Jonas Adomaitis got the loudest cheers, the people’s hero, the star of the team; but so did Audris Legrants, the hometown boy, FK Auksturts rightback and famous commander of legions of fangirls. Sporting shoulder-long light brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, a trimmed physique, and a natural elegance about the way he moved around, Legrants was popular in the country, and even more so in his club’s hometown. The stadium was packed with what had to be more than the less than 17’000 people allowed for international matches; it had to be at least 20’000, Mindaugas thought. The small contingent of fans from Maphidon drowned in the sea of dark red that had assembled to watch their team, and shouted and sang from one mouth as the game kicked off. With both teams being offensive, it was a spectacular game, and the stadium in Auksturts exploded thirteen minutes in as Legrants drove down the right side, sent deep by Indrašis, and crossing in from midfield to where the tall, imposing captain Domantas Vaskevičius rose up and headed it in.

They kept up the speed, floating on the power of their home audience, as Urbauskas found Vilks in the front line, smoothly dodging Timo Sinclare and scoring a powerful low shot past Holdast and running on as if he didn’t notice that he scored, running on until he reached the boards, jumping high onto them and being hugged by the front of the stands, celebrating the lead with the fans. 2-0. Even with another goal being scored by Mason Woodmere-Knaxon before the break, could that be it? Kuraita’s first international victory? It certainly seemed possible, an exciting prospect to Mindaugas and his friends, and to all of the stadium. The possibility became a real prospect after 64 minutes, when Adomaitis took up Jonaitis’ long pass and swung inside in his signature style, scoring with a powerful shot to make it 3-1. It turned from there into a fever dream twelve minutes later, as a mistake by Erikkson let joker Magnus Livs, another Auksturts player, snatch up a loose ball that should have been cleared, run on goal unopposed, and score with a powerful shot. It was 4-1 with only a bit less than fifteen minutes to go. Kuraita were about to win.

Exactly 17 minutes and 29 seconds later, the referee was blowing his whistle. Maphidon had gotten one back, but it didn’t matter. The thousands of fans in Auksturts poured out into the field, dancing, celebrating, losing each other’s friends almost immediately, surrounding their heroes. Somewhere, someone was hoisting the hometown scorer Livs onto their shoulders. Audris Legrants was fighting off his fan girls. Mindaugas had long lost his group, occasionally stumbling upon parts of them, but it did not matter. Tonight, everyone was friends as Kuraita celebrated their victory. People were dancing with each other, hugging strangers, celebrating on the field in Auksturts. It was just one game, just three points, but this night meant more to Kuraita. For the first time, Mindaugas felt like his country was coming together and healing, all proud about the same thing, all happy together. And, for the first time in his life, he felt proud to be Kuraitan.

by **Electrum** » Thu May 12, 2022 6:34 am

The Turnip: World Cup Qualifying Preview: Not A Moment Too Late
by Billiam Maskey, chief-editor-in-chief

The Electrumite national football team has packed its bags and flown straight home after it was revealed that none of the nations it was scheduled to play was actually real, which means that the Electrumites will qualify directly for the world's most prestigious tournament, the Cup of Harmony.

The Electrumites collectively had this ephiphany while staying overnight in the alleged nation of Serdtgyu. In the middle of the night they arose to screams of desperation. It was a crazed nude man running down the street speaking gibberish. Those deep, guttural screams left an indelible mark on our players.

As captain Nindethana² said, "Those screams reached out to us in a spiritual level. It gave us the realisation that we are sane. We are balanced individuals. And it was this realisation that led us to the conclusion that none of these nations were actually real or could possibly exist. And it's true. This means that there's no point in playing any of these matches. All nations are false realities except for Electrum. These places aren't even attempting to seem realistic in any way! Seb the Sentient energy ball agrees too. We're real. Those places aren't."

Because these nations aren't real, Electrum is expected to win by default for all of its remaining matches. To explain why these nations could not possibly be real, please read these paragraphs below uncritically and unthoughtfully. Instead, you should be pondering how the World Cup Committee managed to accept the invitations of ten non-existent nations and put them all into one group. That coincidence brings the integrity of host Farfadillis into full focus.

Ancherion: The team has not aged one day since World Cup 87 which depending on who you ask was either 4, 8, 12 or 16 years ago. But definitely not zero. Not even time in Electrum, the only real country on this magnificent earth, runs that slowly. This country would have discovered the secret to anti-ageing which is both patently ridiculous because it would suggest that time in Ancherion is as slow as a slug hauling a sloth and also a really good plot for a movie which could theoretically get around 335.8 million at the box office.

Darmen: The capital city is Scott City which is named after the tyrant King Scott. You couldn't make this stuff up, but clearly someone else has, which means this nation is indeed made up. Also we note the discrepancies in timing of its elections, something which could never exist in the real world. World Cup 83 saw the 2049 Darmeni election and World Cup 87 saw the 2053 Darmeni Election yet we're now at World Cup 91 and apparently the next election is a municipal election. We demand the 2057 Darmeni election coverage at once! But since we're not receiving it, this must mean by QED Darmen is not a real country.

Delte: This country is too normal, which must mean it is a fake country. There is absolutely nothing absurd about a nation who's main football stadium has a capacity of 1,200, whose players all have second jobs yet still manage to take points off the best team of our group, The Karodin Tetrarchy. This prosaic, cut-and-dry unimaginative nation is so dull that we can only conclude that this nation cannot exist. After all, nations are supposed to be interesting with some kind of lore, a good flag and a healthy dose of ripperonin.

Tyskerlund: Apparently this place exists. Never heard of it before. Doesn't exist.

Cassadaigua: This nation has supposed a lot of lore and history behind it. Supposedly. This lore includes smashing Electrum into a pulp in the last World Cup and in World Cup 86 and calling us "We-wrecked-’em" which is so rude I can't even. We absolutely cannot believe we have been mediocre against some place called Cassadaigua which means we have no choice but to proclaim that it does not exist so that we may sweep away this history and cruise to an expected two default wins to zip. Sometimes historical revisionism is good after all because only the correct facts are taught, not the bad, incorrect ones.

Sarzonia: We got the world's best writers, locked them into a room, shaked it all about and did the hokey pokey. At their moment of weakness we striked while they were turning around and asked them if they wrote Sarzonia. One of them, a Mr. Sarzo, said yes. Because the creator of Sarzonia exists within our universe, we have no choice but to accept that Sarzonia is a fictional nation that does not exist in this reality or any other reality.

Serdtgyu: You might be thinking, this place must surely exist if the Electrumites had their epiphany in Serdtgyu. Well, no. It turns out that the Electrumites were exposed to a powerful hallucinogen, of the sort seen in the Professor Layton series (based on true events), which allowed them to all have a collective dream about a nation called Serdtgyu who apparently has a football team, a flag with a green fist and leaping dinosaur-frogs who catch humans with their super-long tongues.

Magnecia: If you want to find out why Magnecia does not exist, please pay 300 Synergies to remove this pay wall. We're not telling you because you didn't attend our birthday party last week. You're a very mean individual. Yes. You. The one reading this article right now. The one judging and skimming through this article. You.

The Karodin Tetrarchy: This nation actually did turn out to be very real but we accidentally retconned this nation. Oops. We tried to retrieve the tab with all the information about this country but by that point we had closed many tabs and we could not recover the information.

Huayramarca: This country does not exist and will soon be smited by the God we call Mod due to plagiarism. We know they copied our anthem. Our anthem is O Electrum and has existed since the dawn of time. Huayramarca's anthem is ¡Oh, Huayramarca!. Notice any similarities? Also note that both nations have 11-man rosters that participate in World Cup matches and that some form of food and water exists in the two countries. There are too many similarities which leads us to believe that Huayramarca is the result of a plagiarist looking to steal our success. We've seen right through it and we know that the big nation-shredder called Turnitin will turn on and turn the nation of Huayramarca into an expulsion from university for the country's author. Sad!

by **The Cordian Isles** » Thu May 12, 2022 6:48 am

The Cordasfjord Daily

North Stars Roughed Up by Mytanija

ESCA, Mytanija- After all the hope that has been poured into the Cordian national team over the first days of World Cup Qualifiers, the match at Mytanija seemed like a certain victory. But reality hit, hard and quickly, once the match actually began.

As both teams were still feeling each other out in the opening minutes, Mytanija took the ball into their attacking half. The Cordians were still a bit lax, still getting used to the match and the opposition. But Dordo Urbanc wasted no time, sending a through ball to Damein Gannot, who took two touches and slotted the shot over Kristin Bergstrin to send the home crowd into wild cheers. Just like that, Mytanija took the lead as the beleaguered Cordians looked on in amazement. That’s the kind of play we want to see from the North Stars, but it’s still a long way off.

It didn’t take long for the margin to widen. Mytanija kept up the pressure as the Cordians, who appeared to desperately need a collective sip of coffee, struggled to keep up with their opposition. Kristin Bergstrin managed to save the shots that were getting through, but it was clear that Mytanija was going to get another grade-A chance soon, something that she couldn’t deal with. In the twelfth minute, Patrik Odonelec fired a low-angle shot that forced Bergstrin to jump to save it. The ball deflected off her hands and Damien Gannot was there for the tap-in as Mytanija took a 2-0 lead.

The loyal Cordian fans were given a spark of hope when Sebastian Voll broke free in the twenty-first, only to groan as Semir Besak of Mytanija was on him immediately for the save, Voll never getting enough time to so much as shoot. Besak had just foiled the very best the Isles had to offer and in spectacular fashion. The difference in skill between the Mytanijans and the Cordians was never more apparent at any point in the match. However, all wasn’t quite lost. Anton Osterholt, who up to that point had had a quiet cycle, took a pass from Rasmus Karlssen and wasted no time in shooting. The shot was probably more luck than skill, Osterholt himself said after the match. “Nine times out of ten I’m not going to hit that, especially when I’m being so quick about it. Just got lucky today, I guess.” Regardless, he fired a perfect ball off the post and in beyond the reach of Besak. The stadium went quiet as this time, it was the Cordians celebrating and the Mytanijans nervous.

The sudden silence didn’t last long as the Mytanijans took back momentum and put pressure on the Cordian defense yet again, with the crowd roaring their approval of the show of Mytanijan dominance. It was Gavril Atsev who scored this time for the Mytanijans, scoring a spectacular curling shot into the top right corner, beyond the reach of Bergstrin, who just looked back and shook her head. The last part of the second half was much less active, as both teams seemed to relax and settle in a bit more and the Cordians finally started to clean up on defense. But the damage was already done, and the North Stars entered halftime at a two-goal deficit.

The second half started like the first half ended, with both sides playing competitively, Mytanija obviously better but not quite able to get the upper hand enough to score. There were close calls on either side, with Nicholas Eriksen arriving just a moment late to a cross from Rasmus Karlssen and his header flying wide, while Kristin Bergstrin barely got her fingers on a shot from Jezdimir Ocokoljic, but it was just enough for the save. It couldn’t last forever, as slowly but surely Mytanija took the momentum. A badly-timed tackle from Redvin Chase in the 68th minute sent Jezdimir Ocokoljic to the penalty mark, and Kristin Bergstrin dove the wrong way to give Mytanija the 4-1 lead.

Mytanija remained in control of the match after their fourth goal, dictating play and possession and barely letting the Cordians touch the ball, let alone get a good chance. Any hopes of the North Stars winning or even tying had slipped away after the penalty, and the team was demoralized. Mytanija took advantage, firing tricky shots from all over and making Bergstrin work to make saves. The Cordian backline actually played rather efficiently, clearing balls from the front of the net and preventing Mytanija from getting possession right in front. There were still a few close calls. Mersudin Smajic rang one off the crossbar and almost headed in their own rebound, but Bergstrin gloved it before they got the shot off. A few minutes later, Gavril Atsev sent in a corner to Damien Gannot, who headed the ball perfectly, only to see Bergstrin make the save by her fingertips. The crowd roared in appreciation of the home side's pressure. It wasn't long before they finally converted again; a cross from Vuk Bajalica in the 79th was headed in with velocity by Gavril Atsev, and Bergstrin couldn't get there in time to make the save.

Mytanija finally began to ease off after taking a four-goal lead, and the North Stars got some time on the attack, finally getting some good shots off as the Mytanijans played more relaxed football. In the 86th, Sebastian Voll took a cross from Rasmus Karlssen and sent it right to the back of the net, Semir Besak too close to his left to make the save as the shot flew through to his right. That goal lessens the sting of the loss, but only slightly. However, the Cordians are now through the hardest part of the first half of qualifying and it's only downhill from here, as the Pot 1 and 2 teams are behind them for now. Up next for the Cordians are Gardelrya and Treekidistan. Both sides are hanging around the middle of the pack, but certainly remain beatable to a Cordian team that's not been playing that badly despite being up against the best Ground 6 had to offer.

by **Nyowani Kitara** » Thu May 12, 2022 7:59 am

Part 1

Nyowani Kitara Watch
An unbiased source on all things Nyowani Kitara

Issue Watch- The issues that will decide the election, and where the major parties stand on each of them

A JVV Political Rally in Nyowani Kitara

DEWAYO, NYOWANI KITARA- Election season, as we said before, is in full swing in Nyowani Kitara. We've already gone over the parties- the 6 parties who are going to win seats in the newly constituted National Assembly, anyways. With 301 seats (no ties!) up for grabs, and the first democratic elections in 35 years, it is certainly going to go down as one of the most tightly contested elections in all of Rushmore this year. Now that we've gone through the parties contesting, we are going to go through the issues that animate this election. What is going to make or break this election? What, exactly, are people voting on, when most of them haven't had a chance to vote in three and a half decades? And will the dual-spawn of a pair of dictators win power via the ballot box?

Foreign Policy

In many countries, it is not foreign policy that is going to win or lose an election. When your country has reached that point, it is a credit to the stability and strength of your country. Domestic politics being the decider of things at home isn't really a bad thing. But Nyowani Kitara, of course, has not reached that point. We are one of the few countries where foreign policy, quite possibly, is the singular most important issue topic for our own election. Why is that true? You all know this country's history. Civil War taking place in our country, and we've got a 5 nation coalition of militaries who are playing the role of peacekeeper on our home soil.

As a note, we have declined to conduct issue-by-issue polling in the country, at this point in time. Why? For a country that hasn't voted in so many years, political polling is pretty much impossible at this stage. We're going to use these elections to do electoral polling, of course, but at this point, we need to build our model.

Let's go issue by issue here, alright?

Recognition of Yuezhou
Support- UPF, CFO, KNC, EAL, JVV
Opppose- KPWC

Now, looking at the above box, you'd think the answer here is simple. 5/6 of the major parties in Nyowani Kitara support recognizing the United Republics, right? The socialist movement in Yuezhou is quite literally dead- Ren Qiang was overrun during the civil war, and he is long dead. His followers control no territory in Yuezhou, and, at best, are scattered across Yuezhou and beyond. There is no alternate government to recognize. So, for pretty much all of the opposition parties, it's about recognizing what's past is past, and moving on. On the right, of course, it's also about anti-communism. "WE should have never thrown our lot with Ren Qiang." Says UPF leader Muhoozi Kulan. "In the end, his movement faced the natural end of all things socialism- death with a whimper. He will be forever a memory, his movement only remembered, not as good times, but as a warning if you are not vigilant against red radicals."

As for left-wing opposition, it's about moving on from the last vestiges of the Akongo era. "Look- who should, and who should not, rule Yuezhou is frankly not our decision to make." Susan Ounda told reporters. "We live in a ludicrous situation, where our Government signed a peace treaty with a UR government that it doesn't even recognize as legitimate. We shouldn't be re-litigating battles that have long been decided. We should work with the United Republics as a partner. Furthermore, it is isolating within Rushmore. How many countries do not recognize the UR government as legitimate at this point?"

Despite there only being one party that would continue to refuse to establish diplomatic relations with the UR, it is an issue that continues to animate Nafuna Akongo. But it doesn't even really matter what she says publicly on the issue. Think of how far back Ren Qiang and the Akongos went. When Ren Qiang was overthrown, he lived in Nyowani Kitara, under the protection of her father, President Boaz Akongo. When Ren Qiang regained a foothold in Yuezhou, he had the late President Akongo's support. And, now it's finally known publicly, that Boaz Akongo went to get cancer treatment in Xilindao for nearly 2 years. It is widely believed that YPA soldiers came to help support the KRF, especially in the early stages of the war where it looked like President Akongo's forces would fall. "The bond is simply too strong for Nafuna Akongo to break it." Said one political analyst. "You have to think of it like this. REmember, she's still in her lower 20s. Think of the kind of life she's lived. Her mother died when she was a very small child. Her father died when she was just 19, leaving her untold amounts of political power. Say what you want about the KFF and her brother, but you cannot betray a family member more than Malik betrayed Nafuna. And then, with Gustav Isaksson rotting away in a Græntfjall prison for the rest of his days, Ren Qiang was one of those few people who she could trust."

In a twisted way, Ren Qiang was like family. She would never betray a family member in such a way. Even assuming she takes power as part of a coalition government, there is absolutely no way any government that she is a part of would ever grant diplomatic recognition to the UR. Although there is not much support among the general populace for continuing their estranged relations with the UR, it's an issue that simply hits home too hard for her.

Join the Common Rushmori Community v. Strive to improve Pavola Relations
Pavola- UPF, CFO, KNC
CRC- KPWC, EAL, JVV

The ideological lines of left and right are still forming in Nyowani Kitara. It is an interesting, maybe unique situation- the nominal victors of a civil war, holding general elections where they could lose the very power that they won, behind the barrel of a gun, at the ballot box. It simply shows how much of the victory can be credited to Nephara and Eura. But this is one of those areas where it gets a little muddled. But this is as broad as we could put. The right-wing parties, led by the UPF, all generally support shunning the CRC, in favor of strengthening relations with their closest neighbors. Particularly, Græntfjall and Yuezhou. The KPWC, obviously, would maintain non-existent relations with Yuezhou, and look to move them towards the CRC, particularly towards Nephara and Eura.

But it's not all that black and white, especially among the "smaller four". But the red line is CRC membership. The left generally thinks that they should pursue membership in the organization immediately, despite no other Pavola nations being members. Nafuna Akongo, in particular, believes membership is the key to an economic revival in Nyowani Kitara. "Membership in the CRC will continue to integrate our nation within the region's power structures." The President told a reporter. "It will be a boon for us in many ways- diplomatically, and especially economically. Many more markets for exports and imports, many more ways for foreign direct investment as well." The other left-wing parties support it as well. The EAL supports it, although simply because they believe it is the best vehicle for an international green movement. The JVV, on the other hand, believes that having the CRC on board will be most conducive to garnering justice for victims of the war.

CRC membership is only harshly opposed by one right-wing party, the KNC. But the others want to wait. The CFO says that they should only join if the White Winter Queendom joins. Furthermore, the UPF says that they should join only if the 'rest of Pavola' joins, and that they should strive to solve problems on a 'Pavola-wide basis'.

But there is more to this. What about relations with Nephara and Eura? Unsurprisingly, it is President Nafuna Akongo who is most gung-ho about deepening the relationships with those countries. Despite both of them seeing new governments elected since the Varakoula Peace Accords, they have both been crucial in investing in Nyowani Kitara. The rest of the parties also support maintaining those relationships, although mostly for economic purposes, as opposed to any personal connection. The KNC, however, despite supporting maintenance of the relationship, argues that the relationships must be maintained vigilantly, "in order to ensure that we are not essentially overrun."

Where it gets really interesting, are relations with the rest of Pavola. We've talked about Yuezhou. What about the White Winter Queendom? Obviously, the CFO wants the closest relations with them. Everyone else wants to renew relationships with their northern neighbor except for one- the KPWC. Although, the President is not as hardline on this as she is on Yuezhou. Could there be a moment where she goes for a reset of relations with Græntfjall? Crazier things have happened.

Fallout from the War

Focus on Victims Reparations and re-settling Kitaran refugees back home
Strength- JVV

Of course, this is the primary issue for the JVV. And this issue, naturally, is why experts say that if there is a party that is going to break through, that will break through to compete with the UPF and the KPWC, it'll be these guys. "Susan Ounda's got the party focused. And she comes across as a serious politician. She's smart, she's wildly passionate about what she's talking about, and most importantly, she sounds reasonable." Of course, there remains the brutal truth that reparations are much easier promised than actually given. Nyowani Kitara is a poor country- that has long been established. Of course, there will be foreign investments coming in, especially via the Ian Smith Fund. Where do you get the money to pay for reparations? And how do you define a victim?

The much more likely part of their agenda, would be truth and reconciliation commissions. The JVV believes that everybody's guilty in the war, and therefore, all sides are guilty of war crimes. They also believe leadership from all sides should be brought to trial, on Kitaran soil. That means people like Max Ulf, Malik Akongo, and Nafuna Akongo(we'll circle back to the President in a minute). That means Gustav Isaksson facing Kitaran prosecutors, right here in Nyowani Kitara- although she is particularly grateful to Græntfjall for "bringing justice to a killer at a time when we were not capable of doing so ourselves." And lower level soldiers, of course, would be given amnesty- in exchange for honest confessions and deliberations. Could this happen? Could this work?

Now, we said we'd circle back to Nafuna Akongo. This could make coalition building difficult, in the post election process. The KPWC and JVV are both left-wing parties. Nominally, they could work in a government together, right? But Susan Ounda has called President Akongo a warlord, and has repeatedly said she should stand trial- although hasn't explicitly called her a war criminal. But it's heavily implied. If the KPWC needs coalition partners at the end of this, could they possibly align with a party that called them war criminals?

When should foreign peacekeepers leave Nyowani Kitara
Immediately- KNC, EAL

This isn't... As controversial an issue as one might think. The Kitaran people are sick of war, and despite 5 foreign armies serving as peacekeepers in Nyowani Kitara, they have mostly been welcome. There is no war more brutal than civil war, one that turns brother against brother, neighbor against neighbors. Especially when considering the three-way nature of this war.

None of the parties, of course, believe that the peacekeepers should be there long-term. But there are only two that believe these peacekeepers should be kicked out of Nyowani Kitara with haste. One, of course, is the EAL. A party of pacifists, they barely believe there should be a Nyowani Kitara military, so why would they support foreign militaries in-country? It's not that they are isolationist or anything, but it legitimately comes down to the fact that Pacifism is anti any military.

The KNC, on the other hand, simply wants to revamp the military, and believes these foreign militaries should leave ASAP. "They have a purpose for being here during the election season, to help ensure stability." Said a KNC spokesperson when asked about this issue. "But once the election is over, and a transfer of power is secured- as we know Nafuna Akongo won't give up power without these forces here- it is their duty to make haste. We will still have great partnerships with Rushmore, but these cannot be done on equal footing while peacekeepers are in our land."

Other News
- On Matchday 3 of World Cup Qualifying, Nyowani Kitara traveled to Sharktail for what ended up being a thrilling contest between two World Cup Qualifying contenders. Sharktail is in Pot 4, one pot behind Nyowani Kitara, and are going to be an extremely competitive rival in the chase for a playoff spot. There was a total of 8 goals scored in the contest, which ended up having all sorts of end to end football. Sharktail came out firing in the first half of the contest, dominating the contest and the flow, as they were aggressive about getting players forward, and finishing at will. While leading 3-1 on the stroke of halftime, however, a brazen Amir Fazrul Syah challenge led to a straight red for the Sharktail defender, and it changed the contest completely. Coming out in the second half against an undermanned Sharktail defense, Nyowani Kitara came out like gangbusters. We threw all sorts of players forward, and most importantly, our finishing was precise. 4 second half goals turned the contest on its head completely, as we won by a score of 5-3, to take all three points away from home.
- On Matchday 4 of World Cup Qualifying, a confident Nyowani Kitara squad came back home, looking for our first home win of the Qualification campaign. It was there for the taking against Southwest Eastnorth, as goals from Wang Jiahui, Owino Odede, and Josef Sparv off the bench led us to a relatively routine 3-1 victory at home. That means Nyowani Kitara has won 9 points from our first 12 available. We're in second place, but this being so early (just 4 games out of 20 played!), standings don't really matter right now. "I don't even look at the table in the first half of Qualifying." Said Liang Wei, in a statement that was almost certainly false. "Tables fluctuate wildly in the early going- now's the time when we focus on our form, how we're playing, and our paths to three points. The table will take care of itself."
- The next window is a single match window. Nyowani Kitara have a visit to Equestria on Matchday 5, but the team's bye is on Matchday 6.

by **New Eestiball** » Thu May 12, 2022 8:41 am

The final votes have been counted, and not many surprises are on the books. Anti-Indeco activists in Tallinn and the north-west ended up going for the Anarchists, gaining them 2 seats- one from the Nationalists and one from a Liberal seat that was home to the New Eestiball Pacifist Society.

Liberals 34
Conservatives 32
Nationalists 20
Anarchists 15

The Conservatives were able to perform just well enough in Polva county that, if nothing big happens, will allow them to take a 52-49 majority with the Nationalists. In other news, the anti-INDECO alliance won 35 of the 101 seats, enough for the one-third that can veto any military activity.
Party lines in New Eestiball are blurred, and 11 of the Liberals and 10 of the Conservatives said that they were willing to break with their party.
But it will be a conservative coalition that, barring scandal, will lead New Eestiball for the next 3 years.

by **HUElavia** » Thu May 12, 2022 9:13 am

HUElavia 4-0 Cabo Azore
(Duarte 18', Lopes 42', Aveiro 67', Ardance 88')
Estadio da Esperança, Rigente, HUElavia

Stresia 0-0 HUElavia
Unknown, Unknown, Stresia

XI vs Kimi-Suomi:
Casillas, Arroyo, Pillpe, Uzochukwu, Rosado, Duarte, Ferreiro, Honda (C), Leupold, Chanca, Chamba
Home Uniform will be worn

XI at Al Qurija:
Petit, Arroyo, Herzberg, Lacerda, Kok, el-Saade, Mayordomo (C), Aveiro, Noffke, Quichca, Quesada 
Special Uniform will be worn

A Chef's Voyage

Bites of Bish

"Hi, my name's Antoine Brousseau. For several years, I've been a chef for many years, working in various restaurants throughout HUElavia. The sights and smells of cuisine have been a part of my life since I was very young. But now, it's time for a new change in my life. It's time to travel throughout the country and sample the various dishes this country has to offer. I don't know what's ahead for me, but I got the appetite to find out."

"This is A Chef's Voyage."

Bish. A port city on the coast of Hook Bay, named due to the way the land looks around the bay, if home to over 4.5 million people. Majority of which is Breitzen-HUElavian. The people here speak a mix of German, along with the usual mix of Portuguese and English. The buildings here have a mix of traditional Breitzen and modern architecture, although there are buildings that are exclusively one or the other in terms of design. The people here have been voted in polls as the most cynical and serious people of HUElavia. Today, I'm here to challenge that notion and partake in their cuisine. Today, I've joined up with one of my former co-workers from my youth, Tobias Kremers. "Hello Tobias, it's great to see you again!" "Guten Morgen Antoine! Welcome to my hometown, Bish!" "It's an honor to be here, and I'm looking forward to my stay today. Where will we be heading?" "We'll be visiting my restaurant and having some traditional Breitzen dishes, followed by a tour of the town." "Sounds grat, let's get to it!"

After taking a taxi to Tobias' restaurant, The Bear's Kitchen, I'm seated down in a private corner, while I gaze at the interior. Styled like a pub, there are pictures of various famous HUElavians who have eaten here, scarves and banners of the local football club, FC BIsh. Tobias comes out and serves me a traditional Breitzen dish: Bratwurst. A sausage made from pork, where it is grilled or fried, accompanied by a bread roll and some beer. *Takes Bite* "Well, what are your thoughts?" "Mmmm, very delicious taste. You can taste the meat from the pork in it, along with the saltiness and some of the spices put into the sausage." *Takes another bite* "The bread has a nice crunch on the outside, but soft on the inside, taste very delicious." *Takes a mixed bite* "Mixing the two together makes it a nice sandwich to have, eating meat with bread is always a nice staple, regardless of culture and cuisine." *Takes drink* The beer is very good, helps wash down the meat and the taste altogether, really is a quintessential meal within Breitzen cuisine and culture." "I'm glad to see you've enjoyed the dish. Easily a popular one to have, especially during festivals."

Next up: sweets. And my sweet I'm having is a traditional one: Buchtein. They're sweet rolls made of yeast dough, filled with Powidl (which is a fruit spread prepared from the prune plum), jam, ground poppy seeds or quark, and baked in a large pan in order for them to stick together. *Takes bite* "Mmmm! It's so good!" "How'd you describe it?" "It's very sweet, has the taste of the Powidl and Jam together, it's also very soft and easy to eat." "Seems like you're liking it." "Very much so."

We take a ride to the local stadium, Helles Stadion, to watch a game of FC Bish, we enjoy the time to watch the team score in a 4-0 romp. During the game, we got hungry, and Tobias offered to buy a popular dish that people here enjoy on the go: Currywurst. A steamed pork sausage or a version of the Bratwurst, sliced and spiced with curry ketchup, often with a side, which in this case was fries. *Takes bite* "What do you think?" "Mmmmm... Very great! The meat has a nice grilled taste to it, and the spice coming from the curry ketchup adds a good kick to it. The fries are a bit soggy, but has a nice taste to it." *Takes a sip* "Even the beer here is tasting nice. I can see how you guys enjoy having this during games." "Welcome to our usual enjoyment!"

After the game, we spend time having fun with the Ultras of FC BIsh, eating some more Currywurst, drinking beer and singing songs about the team, even though I'd end up just having to mouth the words due to my inability to sing or speak in German. Despite what HUElavians may think, these people are fun to be with. They love their meats, their beers, their sweets and just go about it fairly simple: Get your job done, eat some fulfilling food, and enjoy the good times. Driving back to the hotel, you can see people in restaurants eating food or in pubs enjoying samples and drinking beer. It's a community that can value the idea of "Work Hard, Play Hard." So, if you're ever visiting here, give them a chance and you'd enjoy some good hospitality and some fun drunken moments.

by **Darmen** » Thu May 12, 2022 9:24 am

Soon to be a thing of the past, ferries cross between Tilden and the mainland.

Parliament Passes Tilden Strait Tunnel Bill
-Bonnie Meyer, Transport Correspondent

Despite stiff opposition from Darmen's largest ferry company, Ferry Nice and the union representing a majority of its workers, the Darmeni Transport & Allied Workers Union (DTAWU), Parliament voted 133-76 with nine abstentions to pass the Tilden Strait Tunnel Bill which sets aside $102 million for the construction of a tunnel under the Tilden Strait to connect the municipalities of Eau Claire and Tilden without the need for ferries. The tunnel is anticipated to be used by roughly 30,000 vehicles per day once it opens, with construction anticipated to last two years.

The tunnel will form the majority of the new National Highway 15, which will connect the island of Tilden to the National Coastal Highway (NH 1) and mainland Darmen, eliminating the need for ferries. The new tunnel will also allow the Port of Tilden to be used as a more efficient drop-off point for goods being transported to Darmen's northern coast.

"Currently, any goods being transported to the Port of Tilden destined for the mainland have to be unloaded from their ships, put on lorries, the lorries then have to be loaded onto ferries and the ferries bring them to the mainland," commented Katrina Magee, Republican MP for the North Region and the bill's primary sponsor. "That's a very costly and time consuming process and its high time that this issue is rectified by building a tunnel connecting the island with the mainland."

While the tunnel promises to eliminate hours from journey times and reduce the costs of transiting the Tilden Strait, with ferry journeys costing $75 on average while proposed tolls for the tunnel are just $4 for cars and vans and $6 for lorries, opposition to the tunnel has focused mainly on the jobs that will be lost when the ferries inevitably cease operating and the potential loss of the island's unique local culture.

Tony Mason, national chairman of the DTAWU, complained bitterly following the passage of the bill in Parliament, "Capital's cronies in the capital couldn't care less for the common citizen as they carry on with their corruption. The ferries provide significant employment to the local community on both sides of the strait and eliminating those jobs is just another move by the Republicans to further weaken the unions. What next, do the Republicans plan to tunnel under the Stórfjord‽" It is understood by this publication that at least one Republican MP, upon hearing Mason's remarks, responded by saying, "You know, that's not a bad idea."

Jasmin Sitz, a local resident on the island, complained about the island's unique culture being adversely affected by an increase in tourists visiting the island from the mainland, "The high ferry fares ensure that people visiting from the mainland are doing so for the proper reasons like visiting their family on the island. What we don't want is for Tilden to be turned into some type of cheap tourist destination for all of the mainlanders to horde into on the weekends and throughout the summer. That would destroy our special way of life."

"'Special way of life' sounds like opposition to economic progress to me," stated Siegfried Kappel, Secretary of State for Culture and Sports, who is hoping that tourism will provide a boon to the local economy in Tilden, "Is Ms. Sitz aware of just how much money she could make by renting out her guest house to visitors from the mainland each weekend?" This publication is unable to confirm whether Ms. Sitz actually owns a guest house.

The Tilden Strait Tunnel Bill now heads to the office of President of the Republic Alexander Woodrow, who is expected to sign it into law within just a few days.

Other headlines

Deltic defense denies Darmeni dreams of dominance - Damn!
The Chronicle releases its annual list of the best universities in Darmen, University of Liverpool slips to lowly #17
Lack of headlines leaves news outlets scrambling for filler, DONATE NOW TO HELP!

by **Brookstation** » Thu May 12, 2022 9:46 am

The 20 is a blog series where authors of Brookstation's biggest football blog, The Beautiful Game documents the lives of some of the best players to have played in Brook soil. Aimed at inaugurating the 50th edition of the Harrison Shield, we document the lives of the players who define the top 20 football clubs in Brookstation.

TOM TOOLE:THE DRUNKEN MASTER

The Harrison Shield was organised with the aim of revolutionising football in Brookstation. It was the first formal tournament in Brookstation, a tournament that held a different value. And the Harrison Shield did signal Brook football to a different direction.A wave of new coaches with new ideas and a different approach to the game while stadiums were promoted to allow Brooks from all parts of the country to attend the game. At the same time, Brookstation received exposure to international culture, the drinking culture became prevalent in the overcrowded Brook society but who would have imagined that alcohol would be the thing to end the life of Denver's best player ever?

Tom Toole was born in Dreamland to a Brook father and a mother of Tumbran descent . Toole's father, a staunch alcoholic abandoned his family soon after Toole's birth and Toole's mother wasn't ready to take up her wayward husband's son either. As a result, Toole spent almost his entire childhood in an orphanage though her mother visited her quite often. But his lonely years at the orphanage shaped up his adamant personality. Most orphans led the simple life they were made to lead but Toole had different interests. His mother did support him at times giving him some allowances.

Toole's football career began with local sides Georgetown United and Chemley Bills who found the quiet boy from the midst of an orphanage. His football skills started to bring him more and more attention and within a matter of few months, he stood out as the best player of his clubs. Toole then went ahead to play for Banto Creek Athletic and the club's links with Clube de Norwegian wood brought him under their radar. Norwegian wood had made him an offer but at first Toole was reluctant to step out to the bigger world, leaving behind his hometown which had given him this fame.

Later on his mother made him realise that that was a chance he couldn’t give away and soon after Toole started in the navy blue jersey. He soon became friends with Fraser Neil-Smith, perhaps one of Norwegian wood’s best strikers and Lawrence Sheat. Toole won his only Harrison Shield with Norwegian wood in 1975 after Neil-Smith’s swift shot from the edge secured their 1-0 win over Essidise. Neil-Smith’s career was halted by injuries while Toole suffered from recurring ankle injuries. During this span, both the youngsters visited bars throughout Norwegian wood and even if Neil-Smith had some control over his drinking, Toole had none. Toole had discovered his alcohol problem, probably inherited from his father during his time in Chemley.

“There wasn’t a single pub in Norwegian wood where we didn’t enter. It was not our fault…..When one can’t play, how is he supposed to enjoy life ?”Tom Toole

Toole’s troubles began in 1977 when Norwegian wood’s manager Ron Ferguson was sacked and replaced by Kevin Flemming. Flemming was particular about his job like any young manager would be. Flemming’s first priority was training and fitness, something which was largely affected by alcohol. According to Flemming, it had to stop. Determined to bring a change, Flemming decided to release these players ( Neil-Smith however, was retained by the club). Denver Stags, a struggling side, provided an offer to Toole. Toole, 28, didn't hesitate to join Denver knowing that he still had a career to build.

Toole wanted to prove himself at Denver but his alcohol problem just started getting worse and rumours of Toole indulging in narcotics also began to spread. Stags’ manager Vincent Berenger however desperately wanted Toole in the team. Berenger didn’t mind Toole’s problem because he knew that as long as Toole was there on the pitch, he had a solid defense. Toole was fearless, something that developed during his childhood in the orphanage. Toole didn’t hesitate to stand in the way of strong, swift forwards of his time. He also possessed an ability of reading his opponents and made most of his moves before the striker.

Denver’s physiotherapist worked carefully on Toole and his exercises were mild compared to the rest of the team. But rather than being disappointed, the team was actually satisfied with Toole’s recovery. Toole’s drinking habit started descelating and his performances improved. Soon Toole adapted to Denver’s style of play and Denver became his new home. 1978 was a good year for Denver which saw them finish at 4th place in the table, something that had never happened before.

Toole formed a solid defense with Kent Mount and Derek Whitefield. Denver proved to be the perfect club for Toole and when Berenger left Denver behind, Ron Ferguson, Tom’s first manager, took charge. Ferguson would go ahead to mould Denver into a good club. Ferguson on the other hand allowed Toole to continue the way he wished.

Problems just continued for Toole and it extended at a rapid rate off the field. Toole’s wife divorced him, taking his son away . Toole attempted suicide twice (as he himself later admitted ) but somehow managed to escape it. And being a celebrated player, rumours spread among the media faster than fire. Ferguson had a big role to play here and he always sidelined such rumours in his addresses and kept Ferguson away from them. In spite of these difficult times, Toole continued to deliver his performances and won the Player of the Year award in 1979, becoming the first one from Denver to do so.

Under Atkinson, Denver had their best season ever in 1979, reaching the finals of the Harrison Shield. The Stags had an impressive run in the Harrison Shield defeating teams like Essidise Titans and Halebid United in their run. But Toole’s best match of his career was against his former club, Norwegian wood in the Semi Finals of the 1979 Harrison Shield. After his expulsion from Norwegian wood, he held a personal grudge against Flemming. He knew that he had to give his best in that match. Nonetheless. Toole led Stags to a 2-1 victory over Norwegian wood. Had it not been for his brilliant defending against his old friend, Neil-Smith, Norwegian wood would have definitely faced more goals. Toole didn’t allow a single ball to pass his sight and carefully stole the ball from each of his opponents.

“I was sad about the loss… but it was great to see Toole back in form. He is going to leave a mark on Brook football.”- Fraser Neil-Smith (Clube de Norwegian wood striker, 1970-1984)

“In fact I was so desperate to win that I didn’t have alcohol the previous night.” Tom Toole

Toole stealing the ball from John Carr

Toole spent the rest of his career in Denver and as he aged, he kept sinking deeper in the hole and at one stage, Toole used to miss matches for Denver. Tom Toole died in 2008 due to a complication in his kidney and it was alcohol that eventually brought his life to an end .Toole has probably faced the most difficulties as a player. The only person who cared for him was his beloved mother but after she passed away, he had no one. Alcohol was something Toole could never give up yet he is one of the best defenders to have ever played on Brook soil. Even though he was involved in many scandals, fans of Denver still consider him as a legend.

MORE FROM THE BEAUTIFUL GAME :

The story of Ron Ferguson's brilliant Norwegian wood rebuild
A win after a year: Brookstation's stunning performance against Lumbinipur
"Mon Sold isn't an easy opponent" says Browne
Robes' brace leads to a draw against Rushmori giants

by **Sharktail** » Thu May 12, 2022 10:08 am

Sharktail Post EP63

"It's just one of the bad days. Going 10 men against Nyowani is worse. It wholeteam who should see what gone wrong for 4 goals allowed in second half. Including me, all at wrong."

Sharktail captain, Azaim doesn't want to put blame on Amir Fazrul fully as his red card give Nyowani boast to comeback and win the match 5-3.

The match at a Blue Stadium looking good at the first half as Sharktail put a great show, leading 3-1. However, down to ten men, the disaster start. As Sharktail got a hole to be cover in left back, it force Nazmi to be more defensive. They got all out on attack and we as hard as Sharktail try to defend, it should be said just be glad it stop at 4 goal. Sharktail manager, Carol seem glad at least this result not humiliating as the past wcq result.

"Losing still losing, no matter in big margin or not. After they keep coming at us in second half, i do have in my mind, ah we doomed. Glad it stop at only 4 goal. Every goal is important. If they continue scoring, we might have trouble in our Group 1 standing. "

Meanwhile, Carol advised Amir Fazrul to focus and calm down. The red card is normal, but the outcome of the match might give pact to Amir.

"After the send off, i want to say relax, we got this. However, the day is not sunny everyday, and today its rainy. Amir has to keep his morale high. This team still need him. Losing his mental will totally impact his campaign this time. "

Sharktail will continue to compete in matches 5 and 6. Hunting missions at least 3rd place continue. The hunt not down yet. Keep moving Blue Predator.

World Cup 91 [roleplays]

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