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Blessed Holy Water - Straight from the Church! [OPEN]

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Knessniet
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1177
Founded: Aug 20, 2018
Corporate Police State

Blessed Holy Water - Straight from the Church! [OPEN]

Postby Knessniet » Wed Nov 21, 2018 12:36 pm

Blessed Holy WaterTM

Blessed by REAL clergy!



Product Details:

Got a demon problem? Is your cat possessed? Do you need cleansing? Look no further than Blessed Holy WaterTM! Blessed by certified clergy of the Knessian Baptist Church, it is sure to channel the power of God into every drop!

Use it to cleanse homes, pets, people, offices, churches, and more! Throw some at those anti-Christian protesters and watch the demons flee! You can even buy in bulk and receive a FREE guide to building a Backyard BaptistryTM to Baptist the whole neighborhood! Need a gift idea? Give some Blessed Holy WaterTM, it's perfect for the saved and unsaved alike!


Sizes and Pricing:
(All measurements follow US measuring standards, and are priced in USD.)

- 6 oz. Pocket Bottle: $1.99/unit
- 24 oz. Standard Bottle: $5.99/unit
- 100 oz. Big Can: $33.34/unit
- 1 gal. Jug: $45.71/unit
- 42 gal. Barrel: $89.99/unit (AMAZING DEAL!)

(Orders over $300 receive a FREE Bible and a guide to making a Backyard BaptistryTM!)


Order Form:
Code: Select all
Buyer:
Container Size:
Quantity:
Total Price:
Any Requests?:

User avatar
UniversalCommons
Minister
 
Posts: 2005
Founded: Jan 24, 2016
Left-Leaning College State

Postby UniversalCommons » Fri Nov 23, 2018 10:50 pm

Buyer: Office of Economic and Special Warfare, Anomalous Containment Division, Lieutenant Rainbow Light Williams
Container Size: Barrel 42 Gallon
Quantity: 1000
Total Price: $ 89,900.00
Any Requests?: Please make the sure the containers are properly sealed and handled by clergy.

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Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14642
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Nov 23, 2018 11:26 pm

Is this a for-profit organisation?
Disclaimer: In-Character posts are NOT a reflection of the real world Australian government, any government departments, or any Australian states or territories. I have no authority over real world government decisions.
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ancestry. Orthodox Christian
Why stylised as "rePublic"
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Knessniet
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1177
Founded: Aug 20, 2018
Corporate Police State

Postby Knessniet » Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:26 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Is this a for-profit organisation?

No, all proceeds go to the churches of the clergy that bless the water.

User avatar
Knessniet
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1177
Founded: Aug 20, 2018
Corporate Police State

Postby Knessniet » Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:28 am

UniversalCommons wrote:Buyer: Office of Economic and Special Warfare, Anomalous Containment Division, Lieutenant Rainbow Light Williams
Container Size: Barrel 42 Gallon
Quantity: 1000
Total Price: $ 89,900.00
Any Requests?: Please make the sure the containers are properly sealed and handled by clergy.

Thank you for your purchase!

Your payment has been processed. Please allow 8-10 days for shipping, as this is a large order. You have qualified for our free literature as mentioned in the offer, which as been included with your order.

Thank you for choosing Blessed Holy WaterTM for your holy water needs!

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14642
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:31 pm

Knessniet wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Is this a for-profit organisation?

No, all proceeds go to the churches of the clergy that bless the water.

You failed to understand. Let's pretend we're manufacturing toy, wooden trains. The timbre we use costs $12 per train. $6 is our costs of goods sold (COGS), then we have other expenses, wages, machines, building maintance (painting, bills, etc.), rent, etc. Let's estimate that that costs $9 per train. Let's add another $1 for taxation, and $2 for shipping. This brings the cost of manufacturing the trains to $30. Now, we sell these trains for $35 including tax. This means that we make a $5 taxable profit, after we pay wages (or in the case of a church, after we pay the clergy). Where does the $5 go? If that $5 goes to the owners, managers or shareholders, you're a for-profit organisation. If the $5 goes to the poor, a community, or is donated to charity or a community group, then you're a not-for-profit organisation. Therefore, my question still stands. Is this a for-profit organisation?
Disclaimer: In-Character posts are NOT a reflection of the real world Australian government, any government departments, or any Australian states or territories. I have no authority over real world government decisions.
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ancestry. Orthodox Christian
Why stylised as "rePublic"
13 Published Issues
Fantastic Song Quotes

User avatar
Knessniet
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1177
Founded: Aug 20, 2018
Corporate Police State

Postby Knessniet » Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:34 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:
Knessniet wrote:No, all proceeds go to the churches of the clergy that bless the water.

You failed to understand. Let's pretend we're manufacturing toy, wooden trains. The timbre we use costs $12 per train. $6 is our costs of goods sold (COGS), then we have other expenses, wages, machines, building maintance (painting, bills, etc.), rent, etc. Let's estimate that that costs $9 per train. Let's add another $1 for taxation, and $2 for shipping. This brings the cost of manufacturing the trains to $30. Now, we sell these trains for $35 including tax. This means that we make a $5 taxable profit, after we pay wages (or in the case of a church, after we pay the clergy). Where does the $5 go? If that $5 goes to the owners, managers or shareholders, you're a for-profit organisation. If the $5 goes to the poor, a community, or is donated to charity or a community group, then you're a not-for-profit organisation. Therefore, my question still stands. Is this a for-profit organisation?

I understood your question. I said it goes to the CHURCHES of the clergy who bless it, which themselves are religious non-for-profits, as they run community programs without charging a fee for said programs.

User avatar
Deltanium
Envoy
 
Posts: 242
Founded: Feb 09, 2018
Corporate Bordello

Postby Deltanium » Sun Nov 25, 2018 7:38 am

Buyer: The Kaiserin of all Delts, Alyssa I
Container Size: 42 gal.
Quantity: 100
Total Price: 8900.00$
Any Requests?: Nope.
I’m moving to Deltia

User avatar
Knessniet
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1177
Founded: Aug 20, 2018
Corporate Police State

Postby Knessniet » Sun Nov 25, 2018 7:40 am

Deltanium wrote:Buyer: The Kaiserin of all Delts, Alyssa I
Container Size: 42 gal.
Quantity: 100
Total Price: 8900.00$
Any Requests?: Nope.

Thank you for your purchase!

Your order has shipped, and will arrive in 5-8 days. Your order has qualified to receive the free literature noted in the order information, and will be shipped with the order.

Thank you for choosing Blessed Holy WaterTM for your Holy Water needs!

User avatar
Deltanium
Envoy
 
Posts: 242
Founded: Feb 09, 2018
Corporate Bordello

Postby Deltanium » Sun Nov 25, 2018 7:43 am

Knessniet wrote:
Deltanium wrote:Buyer: The Kaiserin of all Delts, Alyssa I
Container Size: 42 gal.
Quantity: 100
Total Price: 8900.00$
Any Requests?: Nope.

Thank you for your purchase!

Your order has shipped, and will arrive in 5-8 days. Your order has qualified to receive the free literature noted in the order information, and will be shipped with the order.

Thank you for choosing Blessed Holy WaterTM for your Holy Water needs!



"Yeah, I just want to mix them with pepper and pour them in the eyes of some homeless dude. :twisted: "


Kaiserin Alyssa I, probably gone mad.
I’m moving to Deltia

User avatar
Blueflarst
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 119
Founded: Aug 25, 2016
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Blueflarst » Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:06 am

Knessniet wrote:
Blessed Holy WaterTM

Blessed by REAL clergy!



Product Details:

Got a demon problem? Is your cat possessed? Do you need cleansing? Look no further than Blessed Holy WaterTM! Blessed by certified clergy of the Knessian Baptist Church, it is sure to channel the power of God into every drop!

Use it to cleanse homes, pets, people, offices, churches, and more! Throw some at those anti-Christian protesters and watch the demons flee! You can even buy in bulk and receive a FREE guide to building a Backyard BaptistryTM to Baptist the whole neighborhood! Need a gift idea? Give some Blessed Holy WaterTM, it's perfect for the saved and unsaved alike!


Sizes and Pricing:
(All measurements follow US measuring standards, and are priced in USD.)

- 6 oz. Pocket Bottle: $1.99/unit
- 24 oz. Standard Bottle: $5.99/unit
- 100 oz. Big Can: $33.34/unit
- 1 gal. Jug: $45.71/unit
- 42 gal. Barrel: $89.99/unit (AMAZING DEAL!)

(Orders over $300 receive a FREE Bible and a guide to making a Backyard BaptistryTM!)


Order Form:
Code: Select all
Buyer: Blueflarst
Container Size:  42 gal. Barre
Quantity: 49999
Total Price:4409510 dollars
Any Requests?: Instructions on how to bless ammo with them in case of demoniac invasion distribute 3000 of them to different groups of exorcist individuals

User avatar
Silver Commonwealth
Diplomat
 
Posts: 774
Founded: Aug 16, 2018
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Silver Commonwealth » Tue Nov 27, 2018 3:16 pm

Image

Silver Commonwealth's Ministry of Faith


Greetings from the Ministry of Faith.

We heard about your offer of holy water, and we decided to buy a couple of it, as a bunch of it is needed at the moment for one of our religious organizations. It is not that large amount, but we still hope, that it is good.


Buyer: ''Mormon State Church of Rockies''
Container Size: ''42 gal. Barrel''
Quantity: ''6 barrels of holy water''
Total Price: ''539,94 $''
Any Requests?: ''Perhaps clergy should seal barrels, so water wouldn't accidentally spill out?''
Last edited by Silver Commonwealth on Wed Nov 28, 2018 1:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Dark Socialism
Diplomat
 
Posts: 537
Founded: Jul 03, 2018
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Dark Socialism » Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:39 pm

Buyer: The State Orthodox Catholic Church of Irouviamerica
Container Size: 42. Gal Barrel
Quantity: 70 Barrels
Total Price:$6229.30
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User avatar
Knessniet
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1177
Founded: Aug 20, 2018
Corporate Police State

Postby Knessniet » Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:43 pm

Thank you buyers!

Due to an influx of orders, we are informing all buyers that their orders are being fulfilled. Due to the quantities ordered, expect a delay of up to 12 days including shipping time. We thank you for your patience, and hope you buy with us again.

- The Clergy at Blessed Holy WaterTM


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