Location: 335 Cannon House Office Building, Washington, D.C. 20515.
“‘…the great promise of the American Dream remains open to all, and the legacy of this country as a beacon of light to all those setting out in hope of a better life for themselves and their children remains undimmed.’”
Kaley, Jack Claassen’s newest staff member, paused reading the speech. “Congressman, this is so beautiful. You really gave this speech?”
“On the floor of the Tennessee House. 198…6? 7?” He waved the golf putter dismissively, then returned to lining up his shot on the mini putting green. The ball rolled sweetly towards the hole, only for Kaley, who wore a crucifix, to have to quietly cross herself at some of the (somewhat less beautiful) language the Congressman issued forth as the ball curved away to the left at the last moment.
“So we should put out a press release reminding people of your stance?”
“Remind people?” he gawked, shaking his head. “Jesus H. Christ, no! I want you to shred every copy. I talk about amnesty, I talk about a god-damn path to citizenship. No! I want every trace of that speech gone! And then find me something to co-sponsor that’ll play well with the crazies.” He walked up to the hole and tapped the ball in. “REAL ID, employment verification, that sort of thing.”
Madison, another young staffer, was already thinking quicker than Kaley. “How about a bill that stops income earned by illegal aliens from counting towards Social Security coverage?”
“Sold!” said Jack enthusiastically, tapping the putter on the ground in applause.
Madison beamed, and Kaley nodded, understanding beginning to dawn. “If you like, Congressman, I could draw up a letter from you to the Interior Department asking what they’re doing about border security…”
“Now you’re talking.” Jack finger-gunned at Kaley in approval. “But make it DHS. Sexier, for the headlines.”
Brooklyn, yet another young staffer, entered the office from the annex. “Congressman, I’ve written up that press release for you.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” said Jack dismissively, far more interested in the coffees she was carrying. She set his down on his desk beside a print-out of the press release.
“I said you were calling on the Democrats to renew the Cush tax cuts and that you wouldn’t allow socialism by stealth,” she beamed.
“That’s good, but don’t call them the ‘Cush tax cuts’. Call them the Republican tax cuts. We’re done shackling ourselves to that lame duck.”
“‘…the great promise of the American Dream remains open to all, and the legacy of this country as a beacon of light to all those setting out in hope of a better life for themselves and their children remains undimmed.’”
Kaley, Jack Claassen’s newest staff member, paused reading the speech. “Congressman, this is so beautiful. You really gave this speech?”
“On the floor of the Tennessee House. 198…6? 7?” He waved the golf putter dismissively, then returned to lining up his shot on the mini putting green. The ball rolled sweetly towards the hole, only for Kaley, who wore a crucifix, to have to quietly cross herself at some of the (somewhat less beautiful) language the Congressman issued forth as the ball curved away to the left at the last moment.
“So we should put out a press release reminding people of your stance?”
“Remind people?” he gawked, shaking his head. “Jesus H. Christ, no! I want you to shred every copy. I talk about amnesty, I talk about a god-damn path to citizenship. No! I want every trace of that speech gone! And then find me something to co-sponsor that’ll play well with the crazies.” He walked up to the hole and tapped the ball in. “REAL ID, employment verification, that sort of thing.”
Madison, another young staffer, was already thinking quicker than Kaley. “How about a bill that stops income earned by illegal aliens from counting towards Social Security coverage?”
“Sold!” said Jack enthusiastically, tapping the putter on the ground in applause.
Madison beamed, and Kaley nodded, understanding beginning to dawn. “If you like, Congressman, I could draw up a letter from you to the Interior Department asking what they’re doing about border security…”
“Now you’re talking.” Jack finger-gunned at Kaley in approval. “But make it DHS. Sexier, for the headlines.”
Brooklyn, yet another young staffer, entered the office from the annex. “Congressman, I’ve written up that press release for you.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” said Jack dismissively, far more interested in the coffees she was carrying. She set his down on his desk beside a print-out of the press release.
“I said you were calling on the Democrats to renew the Cush tax cuts and that you wouldn’t allow socialism by stealth,” she beamed.
“That’s good, but don’t call them the ‘Cush tax cuts’. Call them the Republican tax cuts. We’re done shackling ourselves to that lame duck.”
Press releases
Claassen warns against socialism by stealth
Congressman Jack Claassen (R–TN–1) has urged the Democratic leadership in the 110th Congress to “act urgently” on renewing the Republican tax cuts. “Hardworking Americans deserve to keep more of their paycheck, not have it snatched away by Beltway Democrats for their radical social projects,” said Congressman Claassen in remarks on the House floor. He later elaborated to reporters: “The pro-jobs tax cuts that have seen this era of American prosperity and growth will sunset within four years unless Congress takes action now. The Republican Party is ready to stand up for job creators and workers: why aren’t the Big Government Democrats willing to act?”
Claassen writes to DHS Secretary on border security
Congressman Jack Claassen (R–TN–1) has written an open letter to the Secretary of Homeland Security urging “swift and comprehensive action” to “better secure America’s borders against terrorism”. Congressman Claassen, a leading voice advocating for secure borders, has encouraged fellow lawmakers to co-sign the letter in an effort to get a better sense of what the Department is doing to protect America from the threat of terrorists crossing our porous and unprotected borders. He has also announced his intention to introduce the Securing American’s Future Enforcement Act, which would reimburse state law enforcement officers for training in performing border security and immigration enforcement actions.