[DRAFT] Commend Ruinenlust

[Azure Mines]

Hello Security Council! This is my first time attempting to write anything WA related, and I've chosen to commend Ruinenlust, a well-loved, monolithic figure of Forest's community who I believe is very much deserving of recognition for all they've contributed. The character count is 4,987.

DRAFT 5.1 (added missing word):

The Security Council,

Recounting the tale of Ruinenlust, a nation among Forest’s foremost flora, and their zenithal dedication to that commended region, ensuring that the leaves of Forest are broad and its roots deep so that all may enjoy its shade;

Tapestrying Ruinenlust’s foray into Forest as Minister of Foreign Affairs from March 2018 to March 2021, during which they surmounted Forest’s mandatory two-thirds supermajority vote on seventeen new embassies, a hitherto unprecedented number for the until-then isolationist region; this cultural turning point towards interregional collaboration resulting in numerous embassy nations coming to Forest to serve government roles and vice versa over the years and enabling Forest’s constellation of interregional events, cornerstones of Forest’s identity that would not have otherwise bloomed;

Apotheosizing Ruinenlust’s ascent to World Assembly Delegate in August of 2020, for which they were chosen uncontestedly by incumbent Forest Keeper Verdant Haven for their longstanding prominence in Forest’s government and ceaseless reliability; and their stepping up to become executive delegate in March of 2021 following the disappearance of regional founder Errinundera, taking the reins by advocating for Verdant Haven’s FOREST amendment, prior to the passage of which the constitution mandated the refounding of the region, to ensure that no veneer of verisimilitude would be needed to preserve the region under their custodianship, wrestling the existential crisis into a period of renewed government activity and community engagement regarded as a golden age and proving themselves integral to the continued existence of the region;

Felicitating Ruinenlust for their paradigm-shifting command of the region during the founderless era, in which they extended border control authority to regional officers, scrupulously monitored endorsement counts, and passed two constitutional amendments to establish and later abolish the only endorsement cap in Forestian history, a stark turn for a region which had previously and has since preferred self-policing to government involvement, overcoming Forest’s reluctance to change to ensure the region was best equipped to defend itself from any prospective invaders;

Exalting Ruinenlust’s adherence to the utmost transparency in constructing Forest’s governorship after ascending thereto in May 2023, declining to immediately take power as offered and instead enabling regionwide discussion on the future of the region while spearheading efforts to impose limitations on their own power, such as the prohibition the head of state (Governor) from also being the head of government (Forest Keeper), to ensure that Forest’s rush to gain the security of a governorship was not conducted frantically and that the position was outfitted with the checks and balances necessary to prevent abuses and clarify its role;

Immortalizing Ruinenlust’s governorship, during the course of which they have acted as Forest’s ever-present sylvan sentinel, taking on the roles of offices from ministries to Forest Keeper at a moment’s notice when officials are temporarily unable to fulfil their duties, effectuating the continuous smooth operation of government and providing essential relief to officials in need; further appreciating their commitment to lowering the barriers to entry and burden of taking on a government role with their endless sagacious advice, encouragement to countless officials at all levels, facilitation of the creation of deputy ministers, making positions more accessible than ever before and empowering some of Forest’s greatest icons to take their first steps into government;

Panegyrizing Ruinenlust’s over five-year service in conducting and promoting Forest’s elections, having run them since that of the tenth administration in April 2021 for a total of eleven elections, maintaining the roster of eligible voters and writing a meticulous dispatch detailing all aspects of Forestian elections to spur participation in Forest’s robust democratic tradition; noting also their careful selection of election officers and discussion facilitators to enforce constitutional provisions and enrich debate; and noting further the total of six months – equal to one administrative term – in which they have acted as Forest’s sole government while elections were active, attending to all duties there entailed;

Believing that these qualities and actions demonstrate Ruinenlust’s unyielding resolve to preserve and grow Forest, equal concern with tending to its old growth as with planting the seeds of the future, and eternal commitment to the Forest Way, rendering them one of Forest’s most beloved and iconic figures standing as a testament to and cultivator of the region’s evergreen endurance, deserving for such service the highest praise bestowable by this august body, and thus;

Hereby commends Ruinenlust.

[Azure Mines]

The Security Council,

Recounting the tale of Ruinenlust, a nation among Forest’s foremost flora, and their zenithal dedication to that commended region, from which seed has grown the fruit of an adamantine region and blossomed the flower of cornucopious culture, together ensuring that the leaves of Forest are broad and its roots deep so that all may enjoy its shade;

Tapestrying Ruinenlust’s foray into Forest in 2016 and their service as Minister of Foreign Affairs from March 2018 to March 2021, vigilantly ensuring constant ambassadorial presence in embassy regions and surmounting Forest’s stringent requirements and mandatory two-thirds supermajority vote on each of seventeen new embassies, a hitherto unprecedented number, including Conch Kingdom, The Leftist Assembly, Wintreath, Europe, and Refugia, which have gone on to become some of Forest’s most salient partners;

Apotheosizing Ruinenlust’s ascent to World Assembly Delegate of Forest in August of 2020, for which they were chosen uncontestedly by incumbent Forest Keeper Verdant Haven for their longstanding prominence in Forest’s governmental and cultural landscapes; and their stepping up to become executive delegate in March of 2021 following the disappearance of regional founder Errinundera, taking the reins with the passage of the FOREST amendment, prior to which the constitution mandated the refounding of the region, to ensure that no veneer of verisimilitude would be needed to preserve the region under their custodianship, wrestling the crisis into a period of immense government activity and community engagement regarded as a golden age of Forest;

Felicitating Ruinenlust for their command of the region during the founderless era, in which they scrupulously monitored endorsement counts, passing and maintaining the only endorsement cap in Forestian history; and extended the distribution of border control authority to regional officers, remaining actively attentive for the entire duration of their executiveship and doing everything in their power to heighten Forest’s defensive power so that the region could effectively repel any prospective invaders;

Exalting Ruinenlust’s adherence to the utmost transparency in constructing Forest’s governorship after ascending thereto in May 2023, declining to immediately seize power as offered and instead enabling regionwide discussion on the future of the region while spearheading efforts to impose limitations on their own power, resulting in the prohibition the head of state (Governor) from also being the head of government (Forest Keeper) among other measures to prevent the formation of a hastily assembled adhocracy and ensure that it would be impossible for Forest to ever devolve into a tyranny of the Governor, illustrating the fruitfulness of their forward-thinking approach to government;

Immortalizing Ruinenlust’s governorship, during the course of which they have limited themselves to acting only in accordance with the will of Foresters themselves and the democratic government they elect, and in acting as this sylvan sentinel has overseen countless elections to ensure the continued blossoming of Forestian democracy, effectuating the perseverance of Forest’s reputation as an interregionally recognized stronghold thereof; furthermore appreciating their role as a trusted advisor, providing sagacious advice to countless Forest Keepers, making the role more manageable and decreasing barriers to entry for prospective government officials;

Panegyrizing Ruinenlust’s over four-year service in conducting and promoting Forest’s elections, having run them since that of the tenth administration in April 2021 for a total of ten elections, maintaining the roster of eligible voters and writing a meticulously crafted dispatch detailing every aspect of Forestian elections to encourage participation in Forest’s robust democratic tradition; noting also their careful selection of election officers and discussion facilitators to enforce constitutional provisions and enrich debate; and noting further the total of six months – equal to one administrative term – in which Ruinenlust has acted as Forest’s sole government while elections were active, attending to all duties there entailed, such as addressing embassy requests and facilitating the smooth operation of ongoing events;

Believing that these qualities and actions demonstrate Ruinenlust’s unyielding resolve to better Forest, watering its seeds and attending to its growth so that its resplendent fruits may be universally enjoyed, and their steadfast commitment to the arboreal ideals, ensuring that such fruits may be enjoyed forever, rendering Ruinenlust one of Forest’s most beloved and iconic figures standing as a testament to and cultivator of the region’s evergreen endurance, deserving, for such service, of the highest praise bestowable by this august body, and thus;

Hereby commends Ruinenlust.

Renowned Security Council,

Recounting the tale of Ruinenlust, a nation among Forest’s foremost flora, and their zenithal dedication to that commended region, from which seed has grown the fruit of an adamantine region and blossomed the flower of cornucopious culture, together ensuring that the leaves of Forest are broad and its roots deep so that all may enjoy its shade;

Tapestrying Ruinenlust’s foray into Forest in 2016, during which they served as Minister of Foreign Affairs from March 2018 to March 2021, vigilantly ensuring constant ambassadorial presence in embassy regions and surmounting Forest’s stringent requirements and mandatory two-thirds supermajority vote on each of seventeen new embassies, a hitherto unprecedented number, including Conch Kingdom, The Leftist Assembly, Wintreath, Europe, and Refugia, which have gone on to become some of Forest’s most salient partners;

Apotheosizing Ruinenlust’s ascent to World Assembly Delegate of Forest in August of 2020, for which they were chosen uncontestedly by incumbent Forest Keeper Verdant Haven for their longstanding prominence in Forest’s governmental and cultural landscapes; and their stepping up to become executive delegate in May of 2023 following the disappearance of regional founder Errinundera and the passage of the FOREST amendment, prior to which the constitution mandated the refounding of the region, taking the reins to ensure that no veneer of verisimilitude would be needed to preserve the region under their custodianship, wrestling the crisis into a period of immense government activity and community engagement regarded as a golden age of Forest;

Felicitating Ruinenlust for their command of the region during the founderless era, in which they scrupulously monitored endorsement counts, passing and maintaining the only endorsement cap in Forestian history; and extended the distribution of border control authority to regional officers, remaining actively attentive for the entire duration of their executiveship and doing everything in their power to heighten Forest’s defensive power so that the region could effectively repel any prospective invaders;

Exalting Ruinenlust’s adherence to the utmost democracy in constructing the Forestian governorship after ascending thereto, declining to immediately seize power and instead enabling regionwide discussion on the future of the region while spearheading an effort to impose limitations on their own power, resulting in the prohibition the head of state (Governor) from also being the head of government (Forest Keeper) among other measures to prevent the formation of a hastily assembled adhocracy and ensure that it would be impossible for Forest to ever devolve into a tyranny of the Governor, illustrating the fruitfulness of their forward-thinking approach to government;

Immortalizing Ruinenlust’s governorship, during the course of which they have limited themselves to acting only in accordance with the will of the Foresters themselves and the democratic government they elect, and in acting as this sylvan sentinel has overseen countless elections to ensure the continued blossoming of Forestian democracy, effectuating the perseverance of Forest’s reputation as an interregionally recognized stronghold thereof;

Panegyrizing Ruinenlust’s over four-year service in conducting and promoting Forest’s elections, having run them since that of the tenth administration in April 2021 for a total of ten elections, maintaining the roster of eligible voters and writing a meticulously crafted dispatch detailing every aspect of Forestian elections to encourage participation in Forest’s robust democratic tradition; noting also their careful selection of election officers and election discussion facilitators to enforce constitutional provisions and enrich debate; and noting further the total of six months – equal to one administrative term – in which Ruinenlust has acted as Forest’s sole government while elections were active, attending to all duties there entailed, such as addressing embassy requests and facilitating the smooth operation of ongoing events;

Believing that these qualities and actions demonstrate Ruinenlust’s unyielding resolve to better Forest, watering its seeds and attending to its growth so that its resplendent fruits may be universally enjoyed, and their steadfast commitment to the arboreal ideals, ensuring that such fruits may be enjoyed forever, rendering Ruinenlust one of Forest’s most beloved and iconic figures standing as a testament to the region’s evergreen endurance, deserving, for such service, of the highest praise bestowable by this august body, and thus;

Hereby commends Ruinenlust.

Renowned Security Council,

Recounting the tale of Ruinenlust, a nation among Forest’s foremost flora, and their zenithal dedication to that commended region, from which seed has grown the fruit of an adamantine region and blossomed the flower of cornucopious culture, together ensuring that the leaves of Forest are broad and its roots deep so that all may enjoy its shade,

Tapestrying Ruinenlust’s foray into Forest in 2016, where they served as Minister of Foreign Affairs from March 2018 to March 2021, vigilantly ensuring constant ambassadorial presence in embassy regions and surmounting Forest’s stringent requirements and mandatory two-thirds supermajority vote on each of seventeen new embassies, a hitherto unprecedented number, including Conch Kingdom, The Leftist Assembly, Wintreath, Europe, and Refugia, which have gone on to become some of Forest’s most salient partners,

Apotheosizing Ruinenlust’s ascent to World Assembly delegate of Forest in August of 2020, for which they were chosen uncontestedly by incumbent Forest Keeper Verdant Haven for their longstanding prominence in Forest’s governmental and cultural landscapes; and their stepping up to become executive delegate in March of 2021 following the disappearance of regional founder Errinundera and the passage of the FOREST amendment, prior to which the constitution mandated the refounding of the region, taking the reigns to ensure that no veneer of vraisemblance would be needed to preserve the region under their custodianship, wrestling the crisis into a period of immense government activity and community engagement regarded as a golden age of Forest,

Felicitating Ruinenlust for their command of the region during the founderless era, in which they scrupulously monitored endorsement counts, passing and maintaining the only endorsement cap in Forestian history, and extended the distribution of border control authority to regional officers, doing everything in their power to heighten Forest’s defensive power so that the region could effectively repel any prospective invaders,

Exalting Ruinenlust’s adherence to utmost democracy in constructing the Forestian governorship after ascending thereto in May 2023, declining to immediately seize power and instead enabling regionwide discussion on the future of the region while spearheading an effort to impose limitations on their own power, resulting in the prohibition the head of state (governor) from also being the head of government (Forest Keeper) among other measures to prevent the formation of a hastily assembled adhocracy and ensure that it would be impossible for Forest to ever devolve into a tyranny of the governor, illustrating the fruitfulness of their forward-thinking approach to government,

Immortalizing Ruinenlust’s governorship, during the course of which they have limited themselves to only act in accordance with the will of the Foresters themselves and the democratic government they elect, and in acting as this sylvan sentinel has overseen countless elections to ensure the continued blossoming of Forestian democracy, effectuating the perseverance of Forest’s reputation as an interregionally recognized stronghold thereto,

Panegyrizing Ruinenlust’s over 4-year service in conducting and promoting Forest’s elections, having run them since that of the 10th administration in April 2021 for a total of ten elections, maintaining the roster of eligible voters and writing a meticulously crafted dispatch detailing every aspect of Forestian elections to encourage participation in Forest’s robust democratic tradition; noting also their careful selection of election officers and election discussion facilitators to enforce constitutional provisions and enrich debate; and noting further the total of six months – equal to one administrative term – in which Ruinenlust has acted as Forest’s sole government while elections were active, attending to all duties there entailed, such as addressing embassy requests and facilitating the smooth operation of ongoing events,

Believing that these qualities and actions demonstrate Ruinenlust’s unyielding resolve to better Forest, watering its seeds and attending to its growth so that its resplendent fruits may be universally enjoyed, and their steadfast commitment to the arboreal ideas, ensuring that such fruits may be enjoyed forever, rendering Ruinenlust one of Forest’s most beloved and iconic figures standing as a testament to the region’s evergreen endurance, deserving for such service the highest praise bestowable by this august body, and thus,

Hereby commends Ruinenlust.

Renowned Security Council,

Recounting the tale of Ruinenlust, a nation among Forest’s foremost flora, and their zenithal dedication to that commended region, from which seed has grown the robust fruit of an adamantine region and blossomed the felicitous flower of cornucopious culture, together ensuring that the leaves of Forest are broad and its roots deep so that all may enjoy its shade,

Tapestrying Ruinenlust’s foray into Forest in 2016, where they served as Minister of Foreign Affairs from the fourth to ninth administrations consecutively (March 2018 to March 2021), during the three-year span of which they ensured constant ambassadorial presence in embassy regions, processed numerous applications which resulted in Forest opening seventeen new embassies, a hitherto unprecedented number, including Conch Kingdom, The Leftist Assembly, Wintreath, Europe, and Refugia, which have gone on to become some of Forest’s most valuable friends and allies and which have been instrumental to cultivating Forest’s modern presence in the Multiverse, fostering interregional exchanges and events which have only enlivened all involved,

Panegyrizing Ruinenlust’s ascent to World Assembly delegate of Forest in August of 2020, for which they were chosen by incumbent Forest Keeper Verdant Haven after Ransium stepped down from the role for their longstanding commitment to the region, sage advice, and prominence in Forest’s governmental and cultural landscapes, and during which they attended to World Assembly matters, ran elections while ensuring the smooth transition of power, and ran the region in its entirety during the long stints of government hiatus in election season,

Elucidating the unsureness Forest faced when communications slowed from regional founder Errinundera for several months before they ceased altogether, and the coldness of that winter in grinding government activity to a halt, evoking a deep melancholy in the region that spread to its every ally, embassy, and friend that the region, so beloved for its culture, events, and wondrous whimsy, was withering,

Apotheosizing how Ruinenlust stepped up to take the torch of executiveness in May of 2023 following the passage of the FOREST amendment, prior to which the constitution mandated the refounding of the region, ensuring Forest would remain evergreen evermore in its old growth and that no veneer of vraisemblance would be needed to preserve the region under their custodianship, ushering in a brilliant spring of government activity regarded as a golden age of Forest – a gold that has held its hue and stayed as long as Ruinenlust has, to the jubilation of its residents and friends,

Remembering the nearly three years of uneasiness that followed Ruinenlust’s ascension, for even after Ruinenlust secured the executive delegateship, Forest remained vulnerable, as every rustle of the leaves or howl of the wind could be the cruel raider’s axe; and without the deep roots of Errinundera, no failsafe was or could be in place should the position be usurped save the timely intervention of a benevolent ally,

Felicitating Ruinenlust’s effort to end this uneasiness as soon as it became feasible, rising to become Forest’s governor, a position they have remained in to the present day,

Exalting Ruinenlust’s adherence to utmost democracy in formulating the Forestian governorship, declining to immediately seize power and preventing the formation of an adhocracy by enabling regionwide discussion on the future of the region and spearheading limitations on their power, such as prohibiting the head of state (governor) from also being the head of government (Forest Keeper), in order to ensure that Forest could not devolve into a tyranny of the governor under their leadership or any other,

Immortalizing Ruinenlust’s governorship, during the course of which they have limited themselves to only act in accordance with the will of the Foresters themselves and the democratic government they elect, and in acting as this sylvan sentinel has overseen countless elections to ensure the continued blossoming of Forestian democracy, effectuating the perseverance of Forest’s reputation as an interregionally recognized stronghold thereto,

Believing that these qualities and actions demonstrate Ruinenlust’s unyielding resolve to better Forest, watering its seeds and attending to its growth so that its resplendent fruits may be universally enjoyed and their steadfast commitment to the arboreal ideas, ensuring that such fruits may be enjoyed forever, rendering Ruinenlust deserving of the highest praise bestowable by this august body, and thus,

Hereby commends Ruinenlust.

[Heavens Reach]

On first read, there seems to be a lot of fluff. A paragraph-sized clause about opening embassies as a MoFA, or a clause about being selected for a non-executive WA position by the regional governor, advertises a candidate in want of more important or worthy things to talk about.

In essence, this reads like a narrative about how someone rose through the ranks of a region, but doesn't do much to convince me that what they did was especially profound. I can see it mattering a great deal to a Forest native if they feel that their leadership has put Forest in a stronger position intra- and inter-regionally, but I don't see it extolling anything that we wouldn't see in any other competent regional leader.

[Jiangbei]

This doesn't seem to mention anything that Forest was commended for. Has Ruinenlust been involved in any of that?

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Looks legal on first read through and thank you for drafting here. However, I’m not convinced by this draft that the nominee is Commendable.

While there is nothing wrong with using flowery or overwrought language (Westinor was a master of that art in the SC) there still needs to be achievements that sets the nominee apart from other nations. Currently I’m not seeing that. The nominee appears to be a competent administrator, but then are so many other nations.

Maybe a little less writing around the botanical theme which just gives the appearance of filler, however nicely it’s written.

[Haymarket Riot]

Commenting as a player and not as a mod here, I think Ru has done enough that they could be commended.

However, I encourage you to take what others have said in this thread to heart. Expand on what they mean to the kind of region Forest is today. Sometimes, a more listed format works better to that effect, you should consider using it strategically in certain places if you need to. Narrativization is great but it only works as well as you can build a narrative with evidence and a cohesive story.

Consider reading resolutions from people who are established and known to be good writers like Pallaith or Rhaza/Quebecshire, the SC is very stylistically focused. Look at how they structure governmental contributions in their work. Given the kind of person Ru is, I'd probably recommend something similar in structure to Commend El Fiji Grande, Commend Apulita, or Commend Dilber.

[Honeydewistania]

personally I think being the steady hand/guardian of Forest especially in their founderless era and instability in that area would be the best thing to emphasise, it's probably the most unique contribution and biggest thing they're known for that could elevate the commend

[Zukchiva]

yes.

will gibe feedbak at sum point

[Zukchiva]

feedbak now

Overall the narrative writing is great; however, a lot of the stuff given isn't commendable and there's a lot of characters given to history/background. For a first-time author though, I will say this is an amazing draft.

My big overall suggestion is that for a C/C you definitely do need to give background as appropriate, but that really must be balanced with what the nominee did and the beneficial consequences of the nominee's actions (including a particular magnitude when possible like discussing a timeframe if you're commending a monotonous action (i.e. running elections) - like how you mentioned 17 embassies, do that for other things to). Narrative is important but don't let it sacrifice the logical argument you're trying to make for why Ruinlust should be nominated.

Tapestrying Ruinenlust’s foray into Forest in 2016, where they served as Minister of Foreign Affairs from the fourth to ninth administrations consecutively (March 2018 to March 2021), during the three-year span of which they ensured constant ambassadorial presence in embassy regions, processed numerous applications which resulted in Forest opening seventeen new embassies, a hitherto unprecedented number, including Conch Kingdom, The Leftist Assembly, Wintreath, Europe, and Refugia, which have gone on to become some of Forest’s most valuable friends and allies and which have been instrumental to cultivating Forest’s modern presence in the Multiverse, fostering interregional exchanges and events which have only enlivened all involved,

I don't know how you would do this but I think a missing piece in context is mentioning how important embassies are to Forest, since Forest votes on new embassies whereas most regions do not. I think opening 17 embassies, many with notable regions, would be a feat for any region - but Forest's citizen confirmation and careful deliberation for every embassy makes it more so, so I'd try to work that in if you could.

Panegyrizing Ruinenlust’s ascent to World Assembly delegate of Forest in August of 2020, for which they were chosen by incumbent Forest Keeper Verdant Haven after Ransium stepped down from the role for their longstanding commitment to the region, sage advice, and prominence in Forest’s governmental and cultural landscapes, and during which they attended to World Assembly matters, ran elections while ensuring the smooth transition of power, and ran the region in its entirety during the long stints of government hiatus in election season,

Like others have said the language is beautiful but this doesn't really say much. I'd remove the elaboration on Ransium (this should focus on Ruinelust) to get more characters.

"attending to WA matters" isn't really notable since many UCR Delegates have done that, much less GCR Delegates. I'd suggest removing that bit.

"ran elections while ensuring the smooth transition of power" - has Ruinenlust ran a whole lot of elections? Are they basically the election-guy of Forest, the one known now and forever for running elections like Kringle was in TSP or Lethen in Europeia? If not, I'd remove this as running elections isn't really commendable unless one has been doing it for a very long arse time.

"and ran the region in its entirety during the long stints of government hiatus in election season" - I think this seems to be pretty key and I'd elaborate on this more. What duties did he undertake when he ran the region on his lonesome? What was the consequence of that work (typically I'd presume preventing a loss of activity, which is very key for a UCR)?

Elucidating the unsureness Forest faced when communications slowed from regional founder Errinundera for several months before they ceased altogether, and the coldness of that winter in grinding government activity to a halt, evoking a deep melancholy in the region that spread to its every ally, embassy, and friend that the region, so beloved for its culture, events, and wondrous whimsy, was withering,

Apotheosizing how Ruinenlust stepped up to take the torch of executiveness in May of 2023 following the passage of the FOREST amendment, prior to which the constitution mandated the refounding of the region, ensuring Forest would remain evergreen evermore in its old growth and that no veneer of vraisemblance would be needed to preserve the region under their custodianship, ushering in a brilliant spring of government activity regarded as a golden age of Forest – a gold that has held its hue and stayed as long as Ruinenlust has, to the jubilation of its residents and friends,

While the background is important since I know Forest tends to have a very strong relationship with its Founder, it needs to be balanced with discussing what Ruinenlust did as an Executive Delegate to usher in such a "golden age". Otherwise it doesn't really tell us anything about his achievements.

I'd also specificy executiveness as becoming an executive Delegate because it took me a second to realize you were not talking about being a Founder.

Remembering the nearly three years of uneasiness that followed Ruinenlust’s ascension, for even after Ruinenlust secured the executive delegateship, Forest remained vulnerable, as every rustle of the leaves or howl of the wind could be the cruel raider’s axe; and without the deep roots of Errinundera, no failsafe was or could be in place should the position be usurped save the timely intervention of a benevolent ally,

Felicitating Ruinenlust’s effort to end this uneasiness as soon as it became feasible, rising to become Forest’s governor, a position they have remained in to the present day,

I'd suggest nixing this and focusing on other things, since accepting a job on its own is not commendable. If Ruinenlust did things as governor which has bolstered/revived the region, I'd suggest focusing on those particular actions instead.

Exalting Ruinenlust’s adherence to utmost democracy in formulating the Forestian governorship, declining to immediately seize power and preventing the formation of an adhocracy by enabling regionwide discussion on the future of the region and spearheading limitations on their power, such as prohibiting the head of state (governor) from also being the head of government (Forest Keeper), in order to ensure that Forest could not devolve into a tyranny of the governor under their leadership or any other,

I'm a little mixed on this as on one hand it is quite good Ruinenlust didn't become a tyrannical governor... on the other hand this is what I would expect from a governor of a democratic region. I'd keep this for now but I feel like it can be nixed if you need the characters or otherwise have something stronger to replace it with.

Immortalizing Ruinenlust’s governorship, during the course of which they have limited themselves to only act in accordance with the will of the Foresters themselves and the democratic government they elect, and in acting as this sylvan sentinel has overseen countless elections to ensure the continued blossoming of Forestian democracy, effectuating the perseverance of Forest’s reputation as an interregionally recognized stronghold thereto,

I'd give a framework of time for the "countless elections" like over what time frame. Did he hold elections for 2 years? 3 years? etc.

Overall this is a good start and I congratulate you on that - and with some work you likely will have a stunning resolution draft on your hands.

[Azure Mines]

Thank you everyone for the feedback! I apologize for taking as long as I have to get this second draft up, as both Ruinenlust and I have been rather busy recently, making further research a bit slow. I have largely taken all recommended actions, having removed much of the unnecessary fluff as widely suggested and elaborated on areas such as elections and Ru's role in transitional periods. The only thing I was unable to implement was Jiangbei's suggestion of mentioning Forest's commendation, which, being almost entirely before Ru's time, is unfortunately irrelevant. If Got Issues has taught me anything, it's that the writing process generally goes write garbage, get told to fix said garbage, and somehow have it all work out, so I look forward to the next round of feedback. The new character count is 4,777.

(Oh, and I should've mentioned initially that Ruinenlust has, in fact, consented to be commended)

[Hemogard]

Good morning.

This has my support. My felicitations on writing something so good as your first prospective SC resolution. Coupla things.

2016, where they

=> "2016, during which they"

ascent to World Assembly delegate

=> "ascent to World Assembly Delegate"

become executive delegate in May

=> "become Executive Delegate in May"

taking the reigns

=> "taking the reins" (horses, not rules)

vraisemblance

=> "verisimilitude"

counts, passing and maintaining

=> "counts, passed and maintained"

adherence to utmost democracy

=> "adherence to the utmost democracy"

the prohibition the head of state (governor)

=> "the prohibition of the head of state (Governor)"

tyranny of the governor

=> "tyranny of the Governor"

limited themselves to only act

=> "limited themselves to acting only"

stronghold thereto

=> "Stronghold thereof"

4-year service

=> "four-year service"

since that of the 10th

=> "since the tenth"

deserving for such service the highest praise

=> "deserving, for such service, of the highest praise"

You also allude to some arboreal ideals, but your draft mentions arboreal ideas. Which one is it? If it's ideas, ignore my remark.

Additionally, the feedback from others makes it clear that while your draft is florid and beautifully written, the content needs stronger evidence of truly commendable actions rather than just narrative flourish or background. Which I am not saying it is entirely composed of, of course. But it needs more substance. :}

Cheers.

[Azure Mines]

Good morning.

This has my support. My felicitations on writing something so good as your first prospective SC resolution. Coupla things.

Thank you! I've implemented most of your points. Draft 3 is up.

=> "verisimilitude"

Finding an issue I can shoehorn "vraisemblance" into right now.

=> "counts, passed and maintained"

This is the only point I didn't implement, as I intended the "passing and maintaining" portion to be elaboration on the previous clause rather than another item in a list. Perhaps it reads better otherwise though, so I'm open to changing it.

You also allude to some arboreal ideals, but your draft mentions arboreal ideas. Which one is it? If it's ideas, ignore my remark.

Thanks for the catch! Changed to "ideals".

Additionally, the feedback from others makes it clear that while your draft is florid and beautifully written, the content needs stronger evidence of truly commendable actions rather than just narrative flourish or background. Which I am not saying it is entirely composed of, of course. But it needs more substance. :}

I have never before seen someone use a brace to make a smiley face I'll go harass Ru for more information. Are there particular sections you think are lacking or is it an across-the-board problem?

[Azure Mines]

The fourth draft is up! Thank you to Bisofeyr for giving me some pointers and suggestions. I've made a handful of minor changes, but chiefly focused on explaining Ruinenlust's role as an advisor to Forest Keepers and clarifying some sections.

Edit: fixed an inaccuracy.

[Azure Mines]

Bumping this to note that I'm still interested in furthering it. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[The Democratic Disney States]

Hello Azure Mines!

First of all really great draft! It’s truly a day and night difference compared to the first ever draft which was a bit fluffy. I can’t really pick out any other grammatical errors, however most of my colleagues that comment on SC threads are probably a lot better than me at that lol. Overall, very solid and I am really glad this Commend is still being pursued. Also exciting to see that yet another person is stepping up and becoming a first time author! Great job and this proposal has my huge support!

[Western Arba Fir]

full support

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Renowned Security Council,

This makes it sound like you are addressing the SC, which would make it illegal under R1(a). Best to keep it simple and just say “The Security Council,”.

[Azure Mines]

This makes it sound like you are addressing the SC, which would make it illegal under R1(a). Best to keep it simple and just say “The Security Council,”.

Adjusted. Thanks for the pointer!

[Azure Mines]

Moving this to last call and looking to submit soon. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

[EA Corporations]

Renowned Security Council,

This makes it sound like you are addressing the SC, which would make it illegal under R1(a). Best to keep it simple and just say “The Security Council,”.

If phrased "The Renowned Security Council", it could be interpreted as written from the perspective of the SC, as it would read "The Renowned Security Council, ... Noting, ... Commends". I've often seen "This August Assembly" being used in the other chamber as well.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

My initial criticisms of this draft still stand. This seems to be an exercise in using florid language to hide the fact that the nominee is a competent administrator and nothing more.

Sorry, but will not be supporting this if it comes to vote.

[Rhaza]

Support the nominee but not the current draft. I recommend giving another shot at implementing the feedback in the thread, or asking questions if you’re not sure how to proceed

[Zukchiva]

I concur with Rhaza - there's still too much narration going on. However, I do appreciate you're being super open to feedback in the thread. I also understand you haven't gotten much feedback since you posted the new draft, so I understand why you moved it to last call.

Writing a resolution can be stressful 'cuz a lot of things can be super abstract to deal with (partly why I've never written one haha) - so hang in there!

In terms of specific things, one thing that COULD help is to analyze the logical argument you're trying to make. If we strip the narration, here's what we get:

• Ruinenlust got 17 embassies approved through a ⅔ majority vote in the span of two years.
• They became World Assembly Delegate in 2020.
• They became Executive World Assembly Delegate in 2021
• They may or may have not authored the FOREST amendment, which prevented Forest from having to be refounded.
• In an unspecified manner, turned the period in 2021 from crisis into an active and beneficial period of Forest.
• Kept a high level of endorsements for an unspecified amount of time
• They established an endorsement cap
• They gave multiple ROs BC authority
• Became Governor in 2023, led regional discussions on the region’s future (result of those discussions is unspecified), and authored amendments prohibiting the Governor from being Forest Keeper alongside other unspecified measures.
• Did not betray democratic governance as Governor
• Advised a unspecified number of Forest Keepers
• Ran elections for four years, which included writing dispatches, selecting election officials, maintaining a roster of eligible voters, and maintaining transitions of government.

Another thing could be to compare this to other region-builder commends, to see how the achievements of your nominee shape up compared to standing resolutions. A good example is Commend Lethen, whose profile is somewhat similar to Ruinenlust (election commissioner, FA big-wig, pro-democracy, stable voice in the region). To break that one down:

• Unspecified work as Minister of Defense and Interior + unspecified legislative work in the Land of Kings and Emperors and Great Britain and Ireland
• Unspecified work in guiding both regions through their creation and in terms of foreign affairs
• Unspecified assistance in helping turn Europeia from a monarchy to a republic, particularly in a time wherein not many democratic UCRs existed
• Served 3 terms as President and 3 as VP, wherein they seemingly prevented debates from killing the region + establishing unspecified norms of future Executives
• Served as a notable legislator via multiple terms as Speaker and forming laws/bodies that still influence Europeia laws today (notably in terms of legislature rules of procedure + making a broader “Citizen’s Assembly”.
• Developed structures around ambassadorships and “Foreign Reports” used in Europeia today
• Became Minister of Culture, in which they helped start Europeias now-famed media scene and mentored other future Europeian big-wigs
• Became Supreme Chancellor (i.e. the person who runs elections) and guided the region through a 2011 schism
• Staying on as Chancellor in 2016 and still serving until 2023 (when the resolution passed)
• Made multiple statements as Chancellor to note on the region’s key issues
• Re-shapped the Chancellor office to create Vice Chancellors that Lethen could mentor
• Processed citizenship applications for over 10 years.

While Commend Lethen isn’t perfect (what resolution can be with a character limit of only 5000?), in terms of raw achievements you can kind of see how Lethen’s service to Europeia influenced his region so much that Europeia may not even exist today if it wasn’t for his long-term service. A lot of his achievements are also pretty notable in their own right (like helping form Euro’s media scene or maintaining citizenship applications for 10 years).

In contrast to Commend Lethen, at its core your draft mentions a lot of things that aren’t too notable such as just becoming Delegate, establishing an endorsement cap, granting BC to regional officers, etc.

One way I would suggest thinking about it is not just how important Reinulust is to Forest, but consider also how notable their actions are to outlookers. Imagine a person reading your proposal and doesn’t particularly know about Forest and has been regionbuilding for so long they’re well-versed in what the average player/region-builder can do. What has Reinulust done that could impress such a person? What has Reinulust done that is important to Forest, but in its own merit is also impressive when compared to your average region-builder?

It’s from that standard why things like establishing an endorsement cap or granting BC to ROs isn’t that noteworthy - since many typical regionbuilders can do them - while establishing 17 embassies via a citizen-wide vote or running elections for four years straight IS noteworthy (since most typical regionbuilders dont do such things).

Narration is important, but before narration you need to fill this resolution with achievements that - without any narration/sentimentality - speak for themselves why they’re notable from a logical/objective/analytical standpoint.

Another suggestion - it could help to see if there’s anyone in Forest or Forest’s allies who are experienced in writing GP-based C/Cs and would be willing to be a co-author. They may be able to help a bit more with this.

And as Rhaza said - can always ask questions here too if you get stuck.

EDIT: If you haven't yet, it could be a good idea to read over the "Anatomy of a Proposal" section of the Security Council Guide - ironically made by commend lethen's author xD. It could give some good pointers.

[Azure Mines]

Thank you all for the feedback and apologies for taking so long to return with the fifth draft. It proved somewhat difficult to research some points I was advised to expand upon to a satisfactory level. I've purged more of the narration and tried to focus not only on what Ru actually did, but what those actions resulted in and why that was important for the region.

[Azure Mines]

Bumping this before it falls off the first page. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!