[PASSED] Commend Zwangzug

[Bordurian Islands]

I like what you did with the draft, I'm and glad that you took over the job of doing it. It is certainly much better then I could have done.

[Ransium]

New draft. I've made a couple of cuts as I agree with Fauxia it was getting rather long. The cuts included: the first clause, the events in the triWrathlon, and some of the liberated regions listed (I tried to cut the ones I remember as being less of a big deal).

[Fauxia]

Most voters aren't going to check all these puns. Unless you remove them, the proposal is likely to reach a stalemate. Other than that, my mind is too board for my eyes to capture every single piece of this draft, so make your move.

I'll see myself out.

"Good riddancebye!"

[Ransium]

Bordurian Islands did some initial research for this proposal. I contacted them before I posted the first draft asking if they wanted to be included as a co-author but they initially declined. They have changed their minds so I've added them as co-author.

[Benevolent Thomas]

It has been a long, long time since a nation has come up in the SC that I haven't instantly recognized. While I am curious to learn more about their entire history as a defender (was it a brief participation or a long-term commitment?), I rather enjoy their extensive presence in international sporting events and their participation in the World Fair.

[Ransium]

Zwangzug was part of the UDL from ~July 2011 to March 2013. Long enough that I think it merits mention, but obviously this is more about RP sports and issues (Zwangzug's an IE if your weren't aware).

[Unibot III]

It has been a long, long time since a nation has come up in the SC that I haven't instantly recognized. While I am curious to learn more about their entire history as a defender (was it a brief participation or a long-term commitment?), I rather enjoy their extensive presence in international sporting events and their participation in the World Fair.

She was one of our main lieutenant officers for years. >_< I can't name a liberation between 2011 and 2014 that she wasn't apart of.

[Ransium]

I plan on submitting this in about a week I have a few things I want to rewrite over the weekend to vary the word choice and sentence structure between clauses a bit, but other than that please get your comments in soon!

[New Fakeland]

I was asked about this resolution elsewhere, and these were my comments on it. I only briefly scanned the posts already in this topic, so apologies if I'm repeating something that has already been resolved.

-Starting a commendation with reference to RP-sport, (rather that something NS related), will immediately put a lot of people off.
-Having those RP-sport reasoning's take up half the resolution. I'd condense all the RP-sport stuff into a single item, and put it lower down in the resolution
-The praise for commitment to civil rights is a good step, but somewhat lacking, as it only gives one example (I'd say there should be three, minimum, to make the point stand out, and not seem just like a passing comment). Also, the wording "assisting in the organisation"... seems kinda weak, and needs to be more proactive, with greater emphasis on how they helped others, if possible
-I'm generally against including Raider-Defender politics reasons for commendations, so I'd reword that item, to focus on what regions they liberated, (and take into account that a lot of nations don't even understand that side of NS, so perhapse a bit more explanation in the wording.
-I'd remove the "kings and queens" part, and just leave it as "other world leaders"

[Benevolent Thomas]

I disagree with the representative from New Fakeland. The majority of the NS-Sports related content in the proposal is truly about services the people of Zwangaug has provided their fellow nations. Creating and hosting content for other nations to enjoy is the epitome of commendable behavior and it'd be a shame for such lengthy efforts to be condensed into an afterthought at the end of a proposal.

I'm not overly impressed with "being awarded Liberator of the Month in March 2012" as far as accomplishments go, but I understand that a little fluff is necessary. I'll be voting FOR the proposal should it reach quorum. The NS-sports work is really what sells this for me.

[New Fakeland]

On the NS-Sports related content (and this is the same point that others that I have discussed this proposal with, focussed most of the discussion on), to me, it seems like most world leaders got into the game (the game of leadership, not sports game) for political reasons, and to focus a commendation from a political organisation, on non-political reasons, will seem somewhat... anecdotal to many.
Think about it the other way around, if there were sports awards given out, would you expect the bulk of the reasoning for the award to be political?

I know some people will argue that this is the sort of thing commendations are meant for, but looking at it from the perspective of new-ish national leaders, who doesn't have much experience outside of their own domains, sports isn't what running a country is about, and with the first few paragraphs of the commendation being only about sports, at will seem at first, like a one-issue commendation (that issue being sports), and they will dismiss it, before reaching the other points, which may have swayed them in favour of the commendation.

[Unibot III]

I know some people will argue that this is the sort of thing commendations are meant for, but looking at it from the perspective of new-ish national leaders, who doesn't have much experience outside of their own domains, sports isn't what running a country is about, and with the first few paragraphs of the commendation being only about sports, at will seem at first, like a one-issue commendation (that issue being sports), and they will dismiss it, before reaching the other points, which may have swayed them in favour of the commendation.

Just like how they dismissed Commend Starblaydia?

It's a solidly written resolution, the real key to actually getting it passed (like all resolutions) will be to ensure the resolution's ducks are in line (i.e., ensuring the votes are there before submission.)

[Ransium]

I would honestly rather write a proposal that fails but reflects Zwangzug's character than passes but doesn't. In fact, I think Zwangzug would ask me not to submit the latter. But I do see New Fakeland's point. Maybe an opening sentence that lets the reader know the multiple venues I'll be going into and re-arranging the sports clauses so the ones that more clearly have international ramifications will help address Fake's points without selling out Zwangzug? I'll try to post a new draft today or tomorrow.

[Unibot III]

[quote="Ransium";p="32551416"Maybe an opening sentence that lets the reader know the multiple venues I'll be going into and re-arranging the sports clauses so the ones that more clearly have international ramifications will help address Fake's points without selling out Zwangzug? I'll try to post a new draft today or tomorrow.[/quote]

That's always a good practice. Try it out.

[Ransium]

Finally got around to updating this. I've added a clause to the start, re-order the sports clauses so that the more clearly international ones to a new nation are first, and re-worded the defender and issue authorship clauses slightly. I know these are not as radical of changes as the New Fakeland delegation was advocating for; however, I've previously discussed the prospects of commendation with Zwangzug and she made it clear to me what is important to her and it is important to me I stand by those commitments.

[Ransium]

I think I will submit this within the next week without further feedback.

[Fauxia]

I support it, I think

[Bordurian Islands]

I think I will submit this within the next week without further feedback.

Sounds good. I just hope the proposal goes through.

[Ransium]

This has been submitted.

[Yohannes]

Can vouch for Zwangzug aha; I have seen the player behind that account posting around the National and International Roleplaying sub forums heaps. I like reading their NSSports and Factbooks and National Information sub forum posts! Good luck to the author!

[Wrapper]

This is now at vote.

[Maltropia]

"Maltropia is delighted to vote in favour of this proposal. Representatives of Zwangzug joined our own at a recent Symposium and were marvellous to work alongside. Furthermore, I'm told that Earent - a pawn? I am alarmed - has long been a respected member of the Astyrian community, although it, uh, no longer exists." Delegate Lemass made as if to seat himself before he stood up, remembering something. "Ah, and the king and queen of Maltropia extend their warmest wishes to the nominee, as do a couple of bishops and... rooks? That can't be right. Anyway, let me also congratulate the authors on a proposal that is a pleasure to read. Thank you."

[Consular]

Very deserving, and it looks like it will pass easily.

[MasterMan]

There is no REASON why this Resolution should be passed

[Fauxia]

There is no REASON why this Resolution should be passed

Who are you?

And what reason should it not be passed? Perhaps you should explain seeing as how it’s likely to pass (up 9000-2000 rn)