Traveller's Cafe 3: Brainstorming, discussion, tea, advice

[Unit 23]

I was thinking more along the lines of well-written punches deserve well-written defenses.

[Ithalian Empire]

I was thinking more along the lines of well-written punches deserve well-written defenses.

How does one write a well written punch?

[Imperial Esplanade]

I was thinking more along the lines of well-written punches deserve well-written defenses.

How does one write a well written punch?

"The stinging sensations from the knuckles that have rapped against my facial bones have slowly deteriorated, leaving behind a slight numb in its' wake to coincide with the subsequent discoloration of the skin at the affected areas."

[Talchyon]

I was thinking more along the lines of well-written punches deserve well-written defenses.

Gotcha. That all depends on the quality of writers you have in your RP. If you want advanced writers, one way is to make your app require lots of detail... And also to specifically say what you are looking for in the OOC page.

[Ithalian Empire]

How does one write a well written punch?

"The stinging sensations from the knuckles that have rapped against my facial bones have slowly deteriorated, leaving behind a slight numb in its' wake to coincide with the subsequent discoloration of the skin at the affected areas."

Seems like a pretentious way of writing " The bastards meaty fist raked agants my upper cheek bone as he throw his full force behind the right hook. Stares flew across my vision as my head was snapped violently to the side as he continued on with his blow, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as my teeth were rattled loose. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain as the left side of my face began to turn into a right ugly bruise. Today was going to be interesting."

[Esternial]

"The stinging sensations from the knuckles that have rapped against my facial bones have slowly deteriorated, leaving behind a slight numb in its' wake to coincide with the subsequent discoloration of the skin at the affected areas."

Seems like a pretentious way of writing " The bastards meaty fist raked agants my upper cheek bone as he throw his full force behind the right hook. Stares flew across my vision as my head was snapped violently to the side as he continued on with his blow, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as my teeth were rattled loose. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain as the left side of my face began to turn into a right ugly bruise. Today was going to be interesting."

I'd personally prefer not to spend to much words on a single puch rather than have the entire fight be sufficiently descriptive, but not too much to take away all of the speed, so to speak.

If you describe combat in long-winded sentences you risk that you make it feel like two old people having a falling out. Short and concise sentences introduce some urgency.

[Imperial Esplanade]

"The stinging sensations from the knuckles that have rapped against my facial bones have slowly deteriorated, leaving behind a slight numb in its' wake to coincide with the subsequent discoloration of the skin at the affected areas."

Seems like a pretentious way of writing " The bastards meaty fist raked agants my upper cheek bone as he throw his full force behind the right hook. Stares flew across my vision as my head was snapped violently to the side as he continued on with his blow, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as my teeth were rattled loose. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain as the left side of my face began to turn into a right ugly bruise. Today was going to be interesting."

This guy gets it.

[Ithalian Empire]

Seems like a pretentious way of writing " The bastards meaty fist raked agants my upper cheek bone as he throw his full force behind the right hook. Stares flew across my vision as my head was snapped violently to the side as he continued on with his blow, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as my teeth were rattled loose. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain as the left side of my face began to turn into a right ugly bruise. Today was going to be interesting."

I'd personally prefer not to spend to much words on a single puch rather than have the entire fight be sufficiently descriptive, but not too much to take away all of the speed, so to speak.

If you describe combat in long-winded sentences you risk that you make it feel like two old people having a falling out. Short and concise sentences introduce some urgency.

Yeah I know, but I think you can get away with it every once in awhile if your introducing a character with a fight or some plot device.. But it is fun to see how long winded you can make a simple action be, and I kinda have a tendency to believe that you can never have to many adverbs.

[Pax Nerdvana]

Seems like a pretentious way of writing " The bastards meaty fist raked agants my upper cheek bone as he throw his full force behind the right hook. Stares flew across my vision as my head was snapped violently to the side as he continued on with his blow, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as my teeth were rattled loose. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain as the left side of my face began to turn into a right ugly bruise. Today was going to be interesting."

I'd personally prefer not to spend to much words on a single puch rather than have the entire fight be sufficiently descriptive, but not too much to take away all of the speed, so to speak.

If you describe combat in long-winded sentences you risk that you make it feel like two old people having a falling out. Short and concise sentences introduce some urgency.

I agree with you. Besides, I'm not the best at descriptive writing anyhow.

[Unit 23]

How does one write a well written punch?

Sans a backstory for each of the knuckles.

[Pax Nerdvana]

How does one write a well written punch?

Sans a backstory for each of the knuckles.

That could work, although it might be a bit time consuming.

[Unit 23]

Sans as in without, lol.

Quality can be concise. In fact, that's probably ideal with the punch example since it maintains the illusion of pace.

[Esternial]

I'd personally prefer not to spend to much words on a single puch rather than have the entire fight be sufficiently descriptive, but not too much to take away all of the speed, so to speak.

If you describe combat in long-winded sentences you risk that you make it feel like two old people having a falling out. Short and concise sentences introduce some urgency.

Yeah I know, but I think you can get away with it every once in awhile if your introducing a character with a fight or some plot device.. But it is fun to see how long winded you can make a simple action be, and I kinda have a tendency to believe that you can never have to many adverbs.

I know the feeling, but sometimes it helps me to take a step back and and consider whether or not what I just wrote is just needlessly inflated for fanciness rather than function. Like one of those huge hamburgers that are so huge you can't properly take a bite.

[Lavan Tiri]

Sans as in without, lol.

Quality can be concise. In fact, that's probably ideal with the punch example since it maintains the illusion of pace.

Personally, I use hyphens in action scenes.

Thing happened--thing happened--thing happened.

It helps give the illusion of things happening quickly or simultaneously, I think.

[Ithalian Empire]

Yeah I know, but I think you can get away with it every once in awhile if your introducing a character with a fight or some plot device.. But it is fun to see how long winded you can make a simple action be, and I kinda have a tendency to believe that you can never have to many adverbs.

I know the feeling, but sometimes it helps me to take a step back and and consider whether or not what I just wrote is just needlessly inflated for fanciness rather than function. Like one of those huge hamburgers that are so huge you can't properly take a bite.

Its what I get for reading Lovecraft stories as a youngster.

[Lavan Tiri]

I know the feeling, but sometimes it helps me to take a step back and and consider whether or not what I just wrote is just needlessly inflated for fanciness rather than function. Like one of those huge hamburgers that are so huge you can't properly take a bite.

Its what I get for reading Lovecraft stories as a youngster.

Dude's infectious.

[Lavan Tiri]

Okay, I had an idea of sorts.

There's a school P2TM collectively groans, okay? And it is dedicated to teaching, not magicians or superheroes, but gods. Literal deities. Either the reincarnations of old gods (AKA we pick actual mythological figures and give them acne and angst, a la The Wicked+The Divine), or new gods (the old gods are dead/dying and whoopsi-doo, here're the new ones!). I have some plot ideas buzzing 'round too, but I'd rather let them marinate.

Thoughts?

[Unit 23]

It would take some management, but maybe if scenarios with similar genres somehow tried to find a way to feature in each other's plotlines in a single topic it would help longevity.

[Shadowwell]

So, i posted the link to it a few days ago, but or rather a few pages ago, but here it is again, since the IC will be posted soon, and the rp wil hopefully begin in earnest. Here is the OOC for Welcome to Omega Station.

It is a character based Sci Fi rp set on a space station in the same vein as Babylon 5 and Deep Space 9.

[Ort]

I’m working on the OP for my RP about stories and so far, I've got ...

The White Swan ...

Stories are as old as existence; our universe is built upon stories. Consider its creation. At once, there is everything and nothing. A time before time, an endless primordial void, an infinite vacuum. Everything that is or will be resides in an infinitesimally small singularity. It is unfathomably hot, and it is infinitely dense and then it isn’t. Subatomic particles, as children on a cosmic stage, dance about amidst swirling, primeval gas clouds. Not yet grown, many fail to find their footing and falter, unable to match the music’s intense rhythmic march. Protons, neutrons, and electrons pirouette and plié sporadically, performing an engaging yet unchoreographed ballet that weaves a tale that feels unrefined: too chaotic, too crude. This tale feels incomplete, their ballet absent dancers. Atomic nuclei attempt to complete this story’s missing components, but their efforts are clumsy, their routine erratic and unrehearsed. Electrons conceal their troupe’s missteps beneath a cascade of colourful ribbons that simultaneously confound and dazzle, arcing majestically across this celestial stage, their myriad palette illuminating an otherwise bleak backdrop. This performance’s principle players, its stars, take centre stage; unleashing their sheer passion and raw, kinetic energy to erupt in a wild flurry of balletic motion. Some retire, their strength sapped, but many continue to dance, their movements a shining beacon: luminous and radiant. Inspired, young ballerinas rush on, exhibiting perfect poise and aplomb as they track curved paths: stunning spirals and elegant ellipticals. Their tale assumes some clarity as its players manage synchronicity, their delicate motions complementing and countering one another’s in equal measure. Patterns propagate, harmony is had, and an equilibrium emerges.

Their ballet feels balanced and in its balance is beauty. Infatuated by its beautiful ballerinas, their hearts captured by its stars, bodies swarm the cosmic stage; yearning to be closer to their beloved stars, and nearer still to bask in their glow. They dance clumsily about them, their mundane movements uncontrolled and lacking in discipline or instruction, constantly crashing and colliding. Taking their hands, they are led in dance by their beloved stars and their inelegant motions are corrected as they fouetté in impressive elliptical arcs around them. They dance, the celestial stage awash with colour. Their corps de ballet lacks uniformity: its principle players are clad in deep, fiery reds and bright blues; a ballerina spins in her milky white tutu, pirouetting like a perfect porcelain doll; those bodies that had sought to be close to their beloved are attired in dull greys and mottled crimsons. One body is smitten. His star smiles at him and he feels warm. He is young, not yet grown to maturity, but she loves him, and he adores her. He does not deserve her, he thinks, as she dances, bright and glorious as he trudges along; he clothed in dull, earthy browns and she resplendent in radiant, gold raiment. He is the Earth and she is the Sun. He can never touch her; he may only bask in reflected glory and feel content that he may receive even that. This is a love story. Their romance is unconsummated, never to be. Our universe is stories. Its creation is a dance and every dance is a story. This dance continues and will only conclude when its last dancer dwindles and departs the cosmic stage.

... and The Black Swan.

Duality is a big part of this RP and I also wanted to communicate that stories are as old as the universe by turning its creation into a story in the form of a dance or, more specifically, a ballet.

[Flarbinia]

RP INTEREST AND FEEDBACK REQUEST

---

Please provide as much detail as possible.
RP's Overarching Concept: You play as a member of an expedition sent to investigate the Muertes Archipelago aka the Five Deaths (the islands in the Jurassic Park franchise) by Firelord Zuko. This will take place three years after the events of Avatar The Last Airbender, but prior to the death of John Hammond (meaning no Indominus Rex or Indoraptor). You will have to survive the dinosaur infested islands, stop the machinations of the mad scientists who chose not to evacuate when ordered to leave the islands, and thwart various plots by Azula, General Fong, and various nobles from both the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation.
Genre/s: Fantasy, Adventure, Action, Science Fiction, Survival Horror
Character or Faction Based: Character
Detailed Description: It has been five years since the Avatar has defeated Firelord Ozai, yet the scars caused by the world has not healed. The Ozai loyalists, under the leadership of Azula, the deposed princess, have gathered many allies and hired several mercenary armies, threatening to drive the Fire Nation into civil war. General Fong, bitter over not being involved in the Fire Nation's defeat and believing that a second war with the Fire Nation is inevitable, has ordered unauthorized archeological digs to discover artifacts that could tip the scales in the Earth Kingdom's advantage should this war begins, convincing the Earth King that he was retrieving stockpiles of looted treasure that had been buried in the desert by Fire Nations soldiers during the war. However, Azula and General Fong are not the only ones who have been scheming, as the courts of both Firelord Zuko and the Earth King are rife with intrigue. During an electrical storm, a strange and uncharted archipelago mysteriously appeared, the crews of passing ships reporting sightings of strange beasts lurking in the jungle or flying in the sky. Wanting to know more about the situation before sending in the Avatar, Firelord Zuko has dispatched a military expedition to investigate the islands.

Need Help With: Descriptions of dinosaur/human hybrids, backstories for the mad scientists and scheming nobles, and how the Avatar will become involved in the second half of the RP.

Please leave this hashtag in place: #Mentorhelp

[Harbertia]

Something I've considered either A) making into an RP or B) making as a CYOA.

FIRST CONTACT

It is 2157, after the discovery of advanced alien ruins on Mars and of a network of FTL travel known as 'The Mass Relays' mankind has begun to expand across the stars. To govern humanity's vast holdings the Systems Alliance has been formed with guidance from the United Nations Space Agency.

In this era of expansion, discovery, and science the relays seem to be mankind's gateway to the stars- left by a people who braved such long ago- but in mankind's eagerness to explore they neglected to give precaution. Their expansion was observed, and noted- and in this year has seen a historic moment- first contact.

As another Mass Relay is being activated an unknown fleet has warped into the system- the staff of the engineering and research team quickly moved to react but before any greeting could be sent the vessel opened fire- destroying the research station and leaving the engineers stranded- what became of them is unknown. Now the fleet is heading for the colony of Shanxi- could these be the relay builders? What are their motives, and what must be done?

[The Manticoran Empire]

Any Pike and Shot RPs?

[Harbertia]

Any Pike and Shot RPs?

Try the sports thread.

[The Manticoran Empire]

Any Pike and Shot RPs?

Try the sports thread.

Dude, Pike and Shot isn't a sport.