You MUST obey Jesus on marriage and divorce.

[Jocabia]

hey! i remember the day this troll was born...you do realize that all you need to do to be a good christian (in terms of heretics like me) is TELL me about jesus. thats it. make the info available and bre done. stop forcing it onto these forums...ok im done respecting this underbridge dweller with a response.

You want me to tell you about Jesus? I'll tell you about Jesus.

Jesus is my lord and saviour, and he walks with me, and one time we were in the zona roja in Tijuana and Christ had a little bit of extasy on him, not a lot, just personal use because we thought after we got our pipes cleaned at Adelitas we'd go up to San Diego and hit a club, and we always get a good table because, as the Son of Man and the Son of God, Jesus can miraculously turn bottle service into a good value, but we got stopped by some Mexican cops and long story short, to keep us out of a piss whole baja jail, the messiah had to reveal himself and they wouldn't believe him until he showed them that the mural on a nearby pickup truck was actually him, so they let us leave after Jesus took a picture with one of the cops on his cell phone camera, and by the time we got to the club it was on fucking YouTube, and we wound up sleeping in our car on the beach.

Living a Christ-centered life is not always easy.

there now your done. job finished. since i said im done i wont even comment on how self righteous that last sentence was...oops.

Wow. Just wow. Its like watching a developmentally disabled adult take the underwire out of their fat Dominican nurse's bra after she passes out from drinking wood-grain alcohol and then being unable to stop him as he sticks it into a power outlet.

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Wow, just wow. At least you're on the path, though. That's his goal, to gently lead you down the path.

[Palaam]

I told Jesús to STAY OUT OF TIJUANA!!! He better not have gone to the cheap easy sleazebag gay club of the Corner of Portero and Avenida Norteña.

Jesús, the raper?

More like Jesus the Rapper ...

Come on, we all know that the only rapping our Christ did was to the poor and downtrodden of society. He also most certainly wasn't black, because Father O'Malley showed me all these pictures of Jesus with blonde hair and white skin. We've had some very heart-to-heart talks about it in the showers at the rectory, which we share sometimes because it conserves water and Jesus likes it when we conserve water and celebrate our god-given masculinity together.

Jesus wasn't black, but we all know that Mary Magdalene was Asian- I bet she looked just like Sook Ching, that girl down at the laundromat who all my bible study friends whisper about, saying she works at a "massage parlor" and gives you "happy endings." That must mean she really loves Christ and likes to tell her clients about the "happy ending" in Heaven when you believe in Christ! I should make an appointment.

[The Christian Reich]

The Association of Man Boy Love or as it is called UNICEF.

[Ixzara]

Its hard, coming here week after week to this place of atheism, liberalism, socialism, abortionists, Muslims, devil-worshippers and Canadians,.

Capitalist

I only support capitalism because Jesus supports capitalism.

I can't remember the actual Bible verse proving that, but its printed on the coins minted up by the Nevada State Reserve Volunteer Irregular Militia and Adopt-a-Highway Participants, 1993-1994.

This can be found on the last page of every bible, in the legal disclaimer page near the end of the book. The actual wording used is "This book does not necessarily state the opinions and feelings of Jesus Christ towards the world. As legal evidence, Jesus would like to inform that the only, and true path to salvation lies in knowing that Capitalism is the word of heaven and god alone. Those who oppose this view may be subject to an FBI Investigation, or a $400,000,000 fine....."

So you are legally correct.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

[Johz]

I told Jesús to STAY OUT OF TIJUANA!!! He better not have gone to the cheap easy sleazebag gay club of the Corner of Portero and Avenida Norteña.

Jesús, the raper?

Yo, check it, I was hangin' with mah homies for suppa, when 'dis asshole Judas busts up mah crew, and nails me to wood. Come 3 days, I rise up outta dis bitch.

Yo ma gangsta homee! How is ya hangin? This sickage is totally well cool, like, ya get me?

[Neesika]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

Seriously? The morons are still going after 25 pages?

I haven't the words.

[The Imperial Navy]

I told Jesús to STAY OUT OF TIJUANA!!! He better not have gone to the cheap easy sleazebag gay club of the Corner of Portero and Avenida Norteña.

Jesús, the raper?

Yo, check it, I was hangin' with mah homies for suppa, when 'dis asshole Judas busts up mah crew, and nails me to wood. Come 3 days, I rise up outta dis bitch.

Yo ma gangsta homee! How is ya hangin? This sickage is totally well cool, like, ya get me?

I haz like gone up to the heavens homie.

[The Blue Chocobo]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

hmmm. tried. its all zealous nonsense...cant handle it.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

-snip-

I'm really too tired too laugh at it properly, but not bad. I prefered the pokémon one.

Anyway, as you aren't going to drop your quite frankly beautifully constructed, cleverly woven mask of satire, wordplay and slight religious hatred, I shall leave immediately. I look forwards to the next one, Ham.

Its been dropped, several times, like Jocabia's towel in the co-ed locker room behind the pool at Edward G. Macy's house.

[Ixzara]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

hmmm. tried. its all zealous nonsense...cant handle it.

Read it VERY VERY Carefully. LoOk at the context used, and every single word in detail.

[Farnhamia]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

hmmm. tried. its all zealous nonsense...cant handle it.

[Puff-Puff-Pass Land]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

Seriously? The morons are still going after 25 pages?

I haven't the words.

Hey, somebody's gotta discuss potatoes and God!

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

Seriously? The morons are still going after 25 pages?

I haven't the words.

No, seriously. And look at this most recent guy's next post after the one you quoted. It really is like some portion of humanity is devolving into quasi-interactive chimps.

[The Imperial Navy]

I'm lurking, waiting for a chance to play my Trap Card.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

hmmm. tried. its all zealous nonsense...cant handle it.

Well, there is definitely something, probably several things, that you aren't handling...

Try carefully, slowly if need be.

[Puff-Puff-Pass Land]

I play an Enchanment. MTG pwn Yugioh.

[Satirius]

sounds dryly humorous. and rather cynical...wait, arent you supposed to be pure in thought? that sounds awfully impure to me.

Well, you're such an astute and piercing reader, we must lend your suppositions great weight.

Try reading OP again, more carefully, then the rest of the thread. Then tell us about "thought".

Seriously? The morons are still going after 25 pages?

I haven't the words.

No, seriously. And look at this most recent guy's next post after the one you quoted. It really is like some portion of humanity is devolving into quasi-interactive chimps.

Also known as the typical heathen.

[Johz]

-snip-

I'm really too tired too laugh at it properly, but not bad. I prefered the pokémon one.

Anyway, as you aren't going to drop your quite frankly beautifully constructed, cleverly woven mask of satire, wordplay and slight religious hatred, I shall leave immediately. I look forwards to the next one, Ham.

Its been dropped, several times, like Jocabia's towel in the co-ed locker room behind the pool at Edward G. Macy's house.

What a brilliant metaphor.

I realised that. I looked at the OP, and thought lol. Then I post, scan through the last few pages, and, really, no wonder your mask has dropped. The sad state that we live in when people cannot recognise satire. There aren't even any idiots trying to tell me what the Bible says. I am saddened by the people to whom we will one day need to leave NSG. They may even start using this forum surely for sensible debate. I say again: what a horrible day. Has anyone bothered to put them out of their confusion by explaining what satire is, or did they do so, but were ignored?

[Farnhamia]

I play an Enchanment. MTG pwn Yugioh.

Yugioh gets pwned here inside of about six posts after the OP.

[The Imperial Navy]

I play an Enchanment. MTG pwn Yugioh.

You activated my Trap Card!

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

What a brilliant metaphor.

Heh, sorry, they can't all be gems.

I realised that. I looked at the OP, and thought lol. Then I post, scan through the last few pages, and, really, no wonder your mask has dropped. The sad state that we live in when people cannot recognise satire. There aren't even any idiots trying to tell me what the Bible says. I am saddened by the people to whom we will one day need to leave NSG. They may even start using this forum surely for sensible debate. I say again: what a horrible day. Has anyone bothered to put them out of their confusion by explaining what satire is, or did they do so, but were ignored?

You know very well they were told. More twigged on than usual. And there was a talk of a divine potato. And Nanatsu no Tsuki naked and covered in melted cheese and jabbed with small forks.

[Johz]

I told Jesús to STAY OUT OF TIJUANA!!! He better not have gone to the cheap easy sleazebag gay club of the Corner of Portero and Avenida Norteña.

Jesús, the raper?

Yo, check it, I was hangin' with mah homies for suppa, when 'dis asshole Judas busts up mah crew, and nails me to wood. Come 3 days, I rise up outta dis bitch.

Yo ma gangsta homee! How is ya hangin? This sickage is totally well cool, like, ya get me?

I haz like gone up to the heavens homie.

Na, but we is totally gonna stay down here until you is comin again, an we is gonna tell everyone all about you as well, cos you it like our God, but more small, like, so it's in a human. Innit. Anyway, Paul is too sick at writing his letters, an he is gonna totally write your ass off. Innit, though.

[Puff-Puff-Pass Land]

I play an Enchanment. MTG pwn Yugioh.

You activated my Trap Card!

I sacrifice Elvish Euologist, gaining all my lost life back!

[The Imperial Navy]

I play an Enchanment. MTG pwn Yugioh.

You activated my Trap Card!

I sacrifice Elvish Euologist, gaining all my lost life back!

NOOOOOOOO!