Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Yumyumsuppertime]

Lemme sing a little song about a gal named Kim,
Poor county clerk, kinda plain and rather dim,
Then one day she was hating on some gays,
Hit with an injunction, that no court would stay... an order, that is... ungodly... legalese...

Well the next thing you know, Kim found herself in jail,
Her lawyers set her up for major fail,
But then the judge said, enough, and set her free,
So she could be a campaign prop, for Huckabee... shill, he is... scamming fool... looney ward...
[rousing banjo solo]

So now I think we've heard enough from Kim and all her kin,
Who tell us Biblically that same-sex marriage is a sin,
But that of course does not apply to her adultery,
Cause what could be more Christian, than hypocrisy?

[Idzequitch]

That's typically the attitude. If they don't just yell "HERETIC" while waving around torches instead

Who still uses torches?

[Herargon]

You'd be surprised - most coherent English is just context, and the meaning behind words and sentences can be more or less accurately derived from small tidbits and surrounding information. You only really need to read about 40% of a document to have "read' all of it. I mean, if I type "The volcano is e" you can almost certainly infer that the next set of letters would be "rupting". Skimming is just reading but faster.

What if i'm actually writing "the volcano is erotic", make you feel stupid, now wouldn't it?

Dopperland bending the mind. From the Paradox III thread.

[Doperland]

What if i'm actually writing "the volcano is erotic", make you feel stupid, now wouldn't it?

Dopperland bending the mind. From the Paradox III thread.

I'll have you know, erotic volcanoes are perfectly normal. Also, there is only one P in Doperland.

[The Siverian Republic]

Dopperland bending the mind. From the Paradox III thread.

I'll have you know, erotic volcanoes are perfectly normal. Also, there is only one P in Doperland.

Is this a joke?

[Doperland]

I'll have you know, erotic volcanoes are perfectly normal. Also, there is only one P in Doperland.

Is this a joke?

Is what a joke? The erotic volcanoes? Or the number of P's that are in Doperland? Because I take the spelling of my name very seriously.

[The Siverian Republic]

Is this a joke?

Is what a joke? The erotic volcanoes? Or the number of P's that are in Doperland? Because I take the spelling of my name very seriously.

Well, both?

[Doperland]

Is what a joke? The erotic volcanoes? Or the number of P's that are in Doperland? Because I take the spelling of my name very seriously.

Well, both?

The number of P's in Doperland is, as I said, a very serious matter. Also, the erotic volcanoes thing is a joke... or is it?

[Librica (Ancient)]

Erotic Volcanoes ARE perfectly normal.

[The Siverian Republic]

Erotic Volcanoes ARE perfectly normal.

No.

[The United Scandinavian State]

I just blew up the right wing of The Florentum Opibus.

My Ten Point Reaction to you is; You do realize that:

1. The Imperial Guard constantly monitors heat signatures, above and under ground.
2. The only basement below the Imperial Palace is the Kaiser's Personal Room, so you must have gotten inside the palace
3. How did you dodge the guards I sent without anyone seeing you or them finding you?
4. This will result in war
5. Kaiser Amadeus I will not be pleased
6. My army is much larger and stronger than yours
7. That guy will be captured, as there are ALWAYS Imperial Guardsmen around the palace
8. This is the end for you
9. There are always times to do this to someone else
10. World War 3 just happened because of you

[The Siverian Republic]

I'm a gangster.

A gangster who spends what percentage of his life at Chuck E Cheese?

[Prussia-Steinbach]

A gangster who spends what percentage of his life at Chuck E Cheese?

holy shit i just fucking died omfg

his obsession with chuck e cheese was too much to bear

[United Marxist Nations]

holy shit i just fucking died omfg

his obsession with chuck e cheese was too much to bear

It created the image of Chuck E Cheese riding a motorcycle up to a person and unloading dual-wielded AK-47's into them. If it does that, I am okay with it.

[The Alexanderians]

You can't craft a house out of blowjobs.

Nah, but we can try.

[Librica (Ancient)]

Nah, but we can try.

Lol I remember that.

[The Alexanderians]

Germans know how to have fun, it just tends not to be fun for the rest of Europe.

[Apollinis]

I will admit chuckling at this, in a tangential discussion about the British royal family taking over Greece:

They are rich beyond measure. But we [Greece] are a bad investment.

Ah! In that case you'll be after Prince Andrew.

[Talvezout]

Out of respect for those who lost their lives and loved ones in this horrific event, for the innocents who have suffered on account after, for those who continue to suffer at the hands of men turned monsters, and a system either unable, unprepared, or unwilling to assist in their time of need ... I hope comfort can be found whether it be now, or later. That you will find if not justice, some closure. And if not a home, at least some relief. We live in a world that has a great deal of beauty, and a great deal of ugliness in it. May we as children of this Earth learn to uplift the former rather than glorify the latter, to help rather than harm one another, to practice tolerance and gain wisdom, and dare I say love one another rather than hate.

(Image)

I'll admit that it's not exactly the most bombastic as other quotes, but I thought it was beautiful.

[Librica (Ancient)]

Any Palestinian involved in any Palestinian National Movement lobbies for the total destruction of the Jewish State.

Idk, I thought this was pretty funny.

[The Siverian Republic]

Clerk: My faith says I cannot allow gays to marry, but my government says I cannot not give them marriage licenses. What do I do, my lord?
God: Well, this is obvious. Which one supplies your paycheck, again?
Clerk: You ave spoken, my lord. I will attempt to ban my deputies from giving licenses to gays as well. Thank you, my God.
God: *sigh*

[Apollinis]

I just had a shoot-out in online while my friends came to my house. Me against these 5 other people, lowest being lvl 82. The reaction of my friends and I when I got 26 kills (I counted) and they didn't even get me once went like this:

(Image)
(Image)

I remain eternally pessimistic about the quality of various NS forums, but I'm not pessimistic enough to believe that, even in 2015, just posting extremely common gifs constitutes "awesome/funny".

Also, to quote the OP: "Memepics are not awesome/funny unless you [yourself] made them".

[The Siverian Republic]

Look at the date you were founded. the horror...

"How can we make Scotland feel more like Ikea..."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I love it when people like you get super defensive when you bring race into something, and when called a racist, you get ass mad as fuck.

Never stop, your hypocrisy is delicious. Whenever I feel down, I always remind myself of your mentality, and become glad that I'll ever be as low as you.

This is like watching someone being really smug about the shit they just took in the middle of a table.

[Idzequitch]

"How can we make Scotland feel more like Ikea..."

Ok. Not every post that makes you chuckle belongs here. Please, cool it a little.