Coming out parties? O_o

[Ayndia]

From this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... 1G1ODD.DTL

I was 9 when I came out to my mother one night in February.

I remember sitting her down at the kitchen table as my brother was getting ready for bed, saying to her, "I think I'm ... I don't know what the word is ... "

"Transsexual? Bisexual? Gay?"

"Yeah," I said, "That's the word. Gay. That's what I am."

She asked me if I was sure, and I nodded.

"And you're sure it's not because I had girlfriends before?" I shook my head.

"Well," she said. "I'm happy for you honey. Now get ready for bed."

A year later, I shared my news with my fifth-grade class, and then my mom threw me a coming out party. My brother, mother and I spent hours making the house presentable, washing tablecloths and filling balloons. We printed my coming out poem on lavender paper and distributed it to the friends, and even teachers, who showed up. When I blew out the candles and cut the cake, slicing through the red cursive icing letters that spelled "Happy Coming Out," it didn't even occur to me how fortunate I was. This was a gay kid's dream come true, and I was living it.



Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... z1449NY3Jw

I...wasn't aware people had parties for coming out. Doesn't that go against the whole belief of not making it a big deal?

Discuss?

[Les Drapeaux Brulants]

From this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... 1G1ODD.DTL



I...wasn't aware people had parties for coming out. Doesn't that go against the whole belief of not making it a big deal?

Discuss?

Nine? Still, the party would be a lot more fun than hanging around with an equal number of Baptists.

[Ayndia]

From this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... 1G1ODD.DTL



I...wasn't aware people had parties for coming out. Doesn't that go against the whole belief of not making it a big deal?

Discuss?

Nine? Still, the party would be a lot more fun than hanging around with an equal number of Baptists.

Yeah at nine I was playing with bionicles and legos. I find it pretty hard to believe that he had that level of sexual awareness at nine years old

[Tokos]

Lol, you can't be a lesbian at 10. Doubtless she'll be one of those weird girls who swings back and forth in their teenage years depending on the wind (not depending on whom they're actually attracted to).

Why exactly does sexual preference require a party? Maybe I go ask my friends if any of them like firecrotches and if so that's an excuse for a piss-up.

[Call to power]

good on them its shows that they are supportive of her and its all totally okay (who the hell invites teachers to a party? man this kid sucks)

[Katganistan]

Lol, you can't be a lesbian at 10. Doubtless she'll be one of those weird girls who swings back and forth in their teenage years depending on the wind (not depending on whom they're actually attracted to).

Why exactly does sexual preference require a party? Maybe I go ask my friends if any of them like firecrotches and if so that's an excuse for a piss-up.

Why can't you be a lesbian at ten? Because people assume that kids are asexual? Or because they assume they are straight until influenced by someone else?

[Saint Clair Island]

Lol, you can't be a lesbian at 10. Doubtless she'll be one of those weird girls who swings back and forth in their teenage years depending on the wind (not depending on whom they're actually attracted to).

I agree, the man who wrote the article can't possibly have been a lesbian at 10.

(do people really not read links anymore? sigh)

[Tokos]

Ten year olds do not have a defined sexuality. I know girls reach puberty earlier than boys but this is ridiculous.

"Mommy I'm a lesbian" is a candidate for a reply of "Whatever, that's nice dear", if ever there was one. It's in the same vein as "I'm going to be a spaceman when I grow up".

[The Norwegian Blue]

From this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... 1G1ODD.DTL

I was 9 when I came out to my mother one night in February.

I remember sitting her down at the kitchen table as my brother was getting ready for bed, saying to her, "I think I'm ... I don't know what the word is ... "

"Transsexual? Bisexual? Gay?"

"Yeah," I said, "That's the word. Gay. That's what I am."

She asked me if I was sure, and I nodded.

"And you're sure it's not because I had girlfriends before?" I shook my head.

"Well," she said. "I'm happy for you honey. Now get ready for bed."

A year later, I shared my news with my fifth-grade class, and then my mom threw me a coming out party. My brother, mother and I spent hours making the house presentable, washing tablecloths and filling balloons. We printed my coming out poem on lavender paper and distributed it to the friends, and even teachers, who showed up. When I blew out the candles and cut the cake, slicing through the red cursive icing letters that spelled "Happy Coming Out," it didn't even occur to me how fortunate I was. This was a gay kid's dream come true, and I was living it.



Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... z1449NY3Jw

I...wasn't aware people had parties for coming out. Doesn't that go against the whole belief of not making it a big deal?

Discuss?

What "whole belief of not making it a big deal" are you talking about? Are you under the impression that the gay community has some sort of unified set of beliefs on how everyone must approach their sexuality?

[Call to power]

Nine? Still, the party would be a lot more fun than hanging around with an equal number of Baptists.

Yeah at nine I was playing with bionicles and legos. I find it pretty hard to believe that he had that level of sexual awareness at nine years old

you people are weird.

Lol, you can't be a lesbian at 10.

never met a lesbian who hasn't always known they were gay ffs who do you think brought all the action men?

Doubtless she'll be one of those weird girls who swings back and forth in their teenage years depending on the wind (not depending on whom they're actually attracted to).

because shes gay?

Why exactly does sexual preference require a party? Maybe I go ask my friends if any of them like firecrotches and if so that's an excuse for a piss-up.

seems like a support thing and an excuse

[Person012345]

You should stop calling it a coming out party, that's something else entirely.

[The Norwegian Blue]

Ten year olds do not have a defined sexuality.

I certainly knew I liked boys when I was ten. Hell, I knew I liked boys when I was FOUR. I discovered more depth and detail to my romantic preferences as I got older, but the basic "I want to kiss a handsome prince" stuff was around a hell of a lot before puberty. I don't see any reason why that wouldn't be just as true of a little boy as it was of me.

[Call to power]

I agree, the man who wrote the article can't possibly have been a lesbian at 10.

(do people really not read links anymore? sigh)

it seems a bit ambiguous tbh, the mum mentions having girlfriends before and if that was the reason

(I agree with the loser girls that he shouldn't have piercings now that the picture makes sense)

[Tokos]

never met a lesbian who hasn't always known they were gay ffs who do you think brought all the action men?

I do not believe this for a second. It certainly does not apply to gay men, who are very often confused about the whole thing for years.

because shes gay?

Congratulations on missing the point by a mile. If you swing back and forth you're hardly actually gay now are you?

seems like a support thing and an excuse

I think it's like those people with overbearing nurturing instincts who treat gay people they meet like flipping cancer patients or political prisoners or something. "Gosh, that's so brave, I'm going to be supportive now!" It's like they're really eager for someone to be gay so they can go all fussy over them. Never mind if the "gay" person in question is probably just a confused kid…

[Saint Clair Island]

Ten year olds do not have a defined sexuality. I know girls reach puberty earlier than boys but this is ridiculous.

The OP links an article written by someone who did have a defined sexuality at the age of ten; thus, you are wrong. At least some ten year olds do have definite sexual identities.

"Mommy I'm a lesbian" is a candidate for a reply of "Whatever, that's nice dear", if ever there was one. It's in the same vein as "I'm going to be a spaceman when I grow up".

I was slightly younger than that when I told my parents what I was going to do for a living when I grew up. Cut to me, all grown up now... doing exactly that.

Perhaps you don't understand exactly how developed (mentally) a child of that age can be? Your objections might be reasonable for 3-6 year olds, not kids on the cusp of adolescence.

[Katganistan]

I think it's like those people with overbearing nurturing instincts who treat gay people they meet like flipping cancer patients or political prisoners or something. "Gosh, that's so brave, I'm going to be supportive now!" It's like they're really eager for someone to be gay so they can go all fussy over them. Never mind if the "gay" person in question is probably just a confused kid…

So confused kids DON'T need support and nurturing.

[United Gackle]

Ten year olds do not have a defined sexuality. I know girls reach puberty earlier than boys but this is ridiculous.

"Mommy I'm a lesbian" is a candidate for a reply of "Whatever, that's nice dear", if ever there was one. It's in the same vein as "I'm going to be a spaceman when I grow up".

Some bodies are different compare to others...

[Fartsniffage]

So confused kids DON'T need support and nurturing.

Nope, they need a good smack around the lughole and that talk from grandad about how back when he was a kid they had to eat hot poison and were glad for it.

[Tokos]

The OP links an article written by someone who did have a defined sexuality at the age of ten; thus, you are wrong. At least some ten year olds do have definite sexual identities.

If a small girl talks about the ideal man she'd like to marry, and then does in fact grow up to marry a man, it does not mean she had a "definite sexual identity" at that young age.

I was slightly younger than that when I told my parents what I was going to do for a living when I grew up. Cut to me, all grown up now... doing exactly that.

Not the reality for most kids.

Perhaps you don't understand exactly how developed (mentally) a child of that age can be? Your objections might be reasonable for 3-6 year olds, not kids on the cusp of adolescence.

A kid of that age will have a very poor understanding of sexuality and what all that entails. For heaven's sake, girls talk about marrying each other when they're kids… does that mean they're lesbians?

So confused kids DON'T need support and nurturing.

Not of the "Let's take your announcement as gospel and immediately go totally nuts over it" variety, no. Circumspection and discretion would assuredly be better.

[Cosmopoles]

Ten year olds do not have a defined sexuality. I know girls reach puberty earlier than boys but this is ridiculous.

"Mommy I'm a lesbian" is a candidate for a reply of "Whatever, that's nice dear", if ever there was one. It's in the same vein as "I'm going to be a spaceman when I grow up".

If the kid said "mommy, I like boys" would that be in the same vein as "I'm going to be a spaceman when I grow up"?

[Farnhamia]

So confused kids DON'T need support and nurturing.

Nope, they need a good smack around the lughole and that talk from grandad about how back when he was a kid they had to eat hot poison and were glad for it.

Your grandfather had hot poison? If we wanted hot poison we had to find an erupting volcano and get very close to the lava to heat it up. Or find one of those thermal vents in the ocean (do know how long you have to hold your breath to get to one of those?).

[Fartsniffage]

Nope, they need a good smack around the lughole and that talk from grandad about how back when he was a kid they had to eat hot poison and were glad for it.

Your grandfather had hot poison? If we wanted hot poison we had to find an erupting volcano and get very close to the lava to heat it up. Or find one of those thermal vents in the ocean (do know how long you have to hold your breath to get to one of those?).

Like I said, he was glad for it.

[Saint Clair Island]

The OP links an article written by someone who did have a defined sexuality at the age of ten; thus, you are wrong. At least some ten year olds do have definite sexual identities.

If a small girl talks about the ideal man she'd like to marry, and then does in fact grow up to marry a man, it does not mean she had a "definite sexual identity" at that young age.

If you want to redefine things, yeah.

I was slightly younger than that when I told my parents what I was going to do for a living when I grew up. Cut to me, all grown up now... doing exactly that.

Not the reality for most kids.

But it evidently does happen with some frequency, given that I am not exceptional in other ways.

Perhaps you don't understand exactly how developed (mentally) a child of that age can be? Your objections might be reasonable for 3-6 year olds, not kids on the cusp of adolescence.

A kid of that age will have a very poor understanding of sexuality and what all that entails. For heaven's sake, girls talk about marrying each other when they're kids… does that mean they're lesbians?

At the time? Perhaps. Perhaps not. We can't really know without analysing a specific case, can we?

So confused kids DON'T need support and nurturing.

Nope, they need a good smack around the lughole and that talk from grandad about how back when he was a kid they had to eat hot poison and were glad for it.

*Four Yorkshiremen references go here*

[Tokos]

If the kid said "mommy, I like boys" would that be in the same vein as "I'm going to be a spaceman when I grow up"?

In the sense that it's something you really shouldn't take hugely seriously in itself, yes. The wannabe-spaceman is not likely to have an understanding of the requirements to be an astronaut, realistic job expectations, etc; the ten year old is not likely to have an understanding of what exactly "gay" means, how it relates to him, etc.

I really do not see why it is controversial to hold that statements like these from kids really shouldn't be given much weight in and of themselves, any more than "Daddy I'm going to marry Sophie when I grow up" would be.

[Laerod]

Nine? Still, the party would be a lot more fun than hanging around with an equal number of Baptists.

Yeah at nine I was playing with bionicles and legos. I find it pretty hard to believe that he had that level of sexual awareness at nine years old :blink:

I was sure I was hetero by the time I was 5.