Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Galloism]

In a Xero thread.

We kicked tires, took a test drive and it was loudly knocking.

And we did not need a mechanic to tell us that.

And over the few next pages, we've started wondering if the oil pressure of 0 is a consequence of leakage or sludge, were told to ask an engineering college for confirmation when saying "this isn't a 2-color Dodge Magnum sedan, you've just fitted a wrong color Magnum front on a 300" and that we weren't experts when we asked if the transmission fluid shouldn't stay in the transmission, had a test drive during which the steering was more interesting in the sidewalk than our lane, heard that "the title says "Range Rover" because my cousin was drunk while making it" and saw the damn thing on crime scene pictures.

In other words, all the flags that lower the value to "I'll get you a case of Bud Light and you'll give me the keys".

[Katganistan]

I love clever wordplay.

Most dresses and skirts in fact do NOT have pockets.

Some women's blazers don't either.

GIVE US OUR POCKETS, NOT JUST FAUX POCKETS!

Clothing manufacturers not giving women real pockets seems to be a big social blunder. I guess you could call them faux pas-ckets.

[Lord Dominator]

Regarding McCain not be in around allowing the blocking of a Trump SCOTUS nominee

"I hope John McCain is incapacitated or dead" also isn't a viable strategy.

[Xerographica]

That was you?! How funny that I didn't realize that. My friend watched, and loved, Parks and Rec not too long ago. She recently watched the movie Passengers, but she didn't mention that one of the main characters, Chris Pratt, was also in Parks and Rec. So I asked her if she recognized him from anywhere else. She said that she didn't. I wonder if she's exceptionally bad, or I'm exceptionally good, at remembering faces.

How different would this community be if, in the forums, our flags were replaced with photos of our faces?

Way ahead of you.

[Lord Dominator]

Right, so Xero keeps talking about things being "better", and that brings us to something that's actually vaguely close to my area of expertise, and I've got some really boring paperwork to procrastinate from, so it's time for some maths.

Now, in order to talk about something being "better" (or "more X" for any X) than something else, you need to have what's called a poset in mind: that's a "partially ordered set" (nobody ever accused mathematicians of being good at naming things). That is: you need a set of things you'd like to be able to compare (in this case, the set of all allocations of economic resources), and you need a comparison rule between them that satisfies a few properties (for technical reasons, we'll define "equal to or better than", then just drop out the "equal to" bit later): we need:

1. Everything is equal to or better than itself (obviously: it's equal)
2. If A is equal to or better than B, and B is equal to or better than A, then A and B are equal (can't be better in both directions, otherwise nothing makes sense)
3. If A is equal to or better than B, and B is equal to or better than C, then A is equal to or better than C (we need this to be able to compare things in parts)

For convenience, we'll write "A ⊵ B" for "B is equal to or better than A" and "A ⊳ B" for "A is better than B" (that is: A ⊵ B and A ≠ B) (and the obvious mirror image versions). With these, the above turn into:

1. A ⊴ A
2. If A ⊴ B, and B ⊴ A is equal to or better than A, then A = B
3. If A ⊴ B, and B ⊴ C, then A ⊴ C (we need this to be able to compare things in parts)

Now, the important part here is the "p": this is a partial order: there's no guarantee, given any random A and B, that either A ⊴ B or A ⊵ B: it's entirely possible for two things to just not be comparable at all. Adding a requirement that every two items are comparable gives a totally ordered set (which, for reasons I don't understand, absolutely nobody calls a "toset").

With this, Xero's core claim comes down to three statements, with D the allocation resulting from his silly donation-voting setup, B the allocation resulting from actual voting, and A the set of all allocations of economic resources:

1. There is an objective way to make A into a poset.
2. This poset structure in fact makes A into a totally ordered set (not actually necessary to his conclusion, but it's what he's been claiming).
3. Even if (2) is false, then at the very least B and D are comparable (this is the version of (2) that is actually necessary to his claim).
4. Specifically, B ⊲ D.

Let's start with the good news: claim 1 is true! Not only is there a poset structure on A, but this structure is commonly used by economists (in the sense that people actually write papers about it), but it's also objective, and natural (I'm really not going to go into enough category theory to explain what that means precisely, but it's roughly that this is the "obvious" way to do it). This structure is the Pareto poset, where we say that A ⊴ B if moving from A to B is a Pareto improvement or Pareto neutral (that is: such a change makes nobody worse off). You can easily check that this satisfies the three properties above: (2) is the only non-obvious one, but it's not that hard to show.

And now, the bad news: this isn't a total order. That is: claim (2) is wrong. In fact, it's really wrong: this is a very coarse poset, in the sense that very few things are comparable. Particular things that are incomparable in this include all pairs from "the current system", "Salandriagado gets all the money", and "Gallo gets all the money". It's really, really coarse.

And finally, the really bad news: (3) (and therefore (4)) is provably false as well. Indeed, Xero has claimed this himself, a great many times: some people clearly will be made worse off by such a change, starting with elected politicians.


So, that's Xero's core thesis literally mathematically disproven. The only possible method by which it might be saved is if Xero can give us a different objective poset structure on A that is either natural or comes with a very good reason to use it over the natural option, and justify why he's using this rather than the one everybody else uses, and then show that this satisfies (3) and (4).

---

So, Xero, I ask again: what do you mean by "better"? What poset structure are you using, and how are you going to justify that choice?

[Xerographica]

Wait, which Murray Rothbard?

Because Murray Rothbard the economist died in 1995, so unless you can speak to the dead I sincerely doubt that's the Murray Rothbard you're talking about.

Seldon resurrected him!

ALL PRAISE TO SELDON!!!!

[Heloin]

From the Should it be a crime to date a criminal? thread.

"Has your boyfriend committed any crimes."

"No, your honor, he's afraid of commitment."

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

A whole football team that doesn't dive! That's rarer than hen's teeth.

A recent conversation..

Me - It's like those miners in Chile..
Friend - why is it always minors who get stuck in caves
Me - What do you mean.. these kids aren't miners... oh, you mean minors..
Friend - what do you mean?

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Now that these children are safe we need to look at what we can do to prevent another situation like this. I say we ban caves.

I'm sick and tired of these stupid fucking false equivalencies

I'm sick and tired of these stupid fucking false equivalencies

Agreed. The caves weren't in the wrong here. Clearly the solution is to ban all children.

[Tinhampton]

God doesn't exist.

Of course I exist. How do you think I'm posting here?

[Tinhampton]

English FA fined £50,000 for 3 players wearing the wrong kind of socks. You couldn't make this up...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44800889

But they weren't the Official Socks of the Russia 2018 FIFA World Cup™.

---

I just hate how foul heavy this whole coup has been in general. It's just disgusting to see shoving, pulling and generally downing an opposing player being used as if it was a legitimate tactical move. What ever happened to dribbling and going around players and all that? Now it's all about running really fast in a strait line lest the other guy catch you and drag you to the ground. We might as well let the players tuck the ball under their arm.

I just hate how foul heavy this whole coup has been in general. It's just disgusting to see shoving, pulling and generally downing an opposing player being used as if it was a legitimate tactical move. What ever happened to dribbling and going around players and all that? Now it's all about running really fast in a strait line lest the other guy catch you and drag you to the ground. We might as well let the players tuck the ball under their arm.

It is a contact sport, actually

It is a contact sport, actually

True, I've been in contact with my bookies non-stop.

[Dogmeat]

It is not possible for a dog to post on this forum. They do not have the capability to do so...

Don't worry, he won't chase after you.

I make no promises.

Bite the mushroom, doggo!

Not a good idea.

[Destructive Government Economic System]

Maybe that’s why we haven’t had any aliens vist

This thread will probably not make aliens invade, because now they think humans are dumb as hell.

Aaand right before the thing got locked. Perfect final post

[The Black Forrest]

It is not possible for a dog to post on this forum. They do not have the capability to do so...

Don't worry, he won't chase after you.

I make no promises.

Not a good idea.

EIN!

[Valgora]

From a thread about Denmark banning burqas.

This ban will counter the invasion of Muslim "immigrants" against white homelands. The burqa is not European and does not belong anywhere in Europe. This ban will prevent cultural homogenization and may finally lead to a resettlement program of all Muslim invaders back to their native homelands where they were raised and where they belong.

Who fucking cares about “white Homelands”. I’d rather have a bunch of non white people who want to be Americans than than a bunch of white peeps who think they are morally Superior because they are white

[Tinhampton]

To be fair, Demarcus Cousins' signing did no favors to the NBA

Edit: Soccer's different though, because of the sheer amount of talent and quality options, it's practically impossible to have a soccer version of the Patriots, although Real Madrid's certainly trying; I heard they might sign Owen Goal

It would certainly continue their tradition of signing blatant cheats, Owen Goal constantly dons the opposition's shirts to confuse everyone and score, where is VAR when you need it!

[Zanera]

And all the cable channels that rely on "reality shows" to stay solvent can have a weeklong crossover marathon involving the Cursed Storage Unit.

First, Judge Judy would scare it straight
Then Dr. Phil would teach it to love itself
Then the House Hunters would find it somewhere to live
Finally, the House Doctor would teach it to coordinate with the curtains.

By the end of the week, it'd feel like a whole new ghost.

[Zanera]

I can see the tourism promotions now.

"Siberia: Come for gulag, stay forever!"

[Genivaria]

I looked at Kaiserreich's situation in China and wonder why we didn't form an American Allgemeine Ostasien-Gesellschaft.

That's because Americans can't be expected to spell that.

[Petrasylvania]

They must right an essay answering every single Infected Mushroom hypothetical ever posted

Death by a thousand facepalms.

[Wallenburg]

In the PDX megathread:

Why'd you censor the word "ass"?

Because this is a nice Christian thread, and I’d appreciate it if you watched your language. My little brother is watching. Thanks.

Sorry sir this is a Christian thread, only incest and holy wars are allowed in here, please watch that unnecessary language.

[Reploid Productions]

From a brief sidetrack about Greek statues and one user stating they should have been tossed into the sea from over in the thread about banning metal music:

Look, if you're so turned on by a marble cock that you want marvellous works of art destroyed because of that, you've got deeper issues.

Also, the words "marble cock" seem oddly pleasing. Repeat after me: marble cock. marble cock. Marble cock! MARBLE COCK!!!

[Frisbeeteria]

In response to a rather silly General Assembly proposal:

Do you know what a punji stick is?

"Based on the preamble, I think the author believes a punji stick is a lightsaber."

[Petrasylvania]

if republicans didn't want that to be the norm why did they make it the norm the whole Obama presidency?

They're conservatives dear, nobody ever taught them the concept of personal responsibility. So as far they're concerned they're perfectly entitled to behave like screaming howler monkeys smearing shit on the walls throughout any an all Democratic Presidencies, while any Democrat who even mildly criticizes them or refuses to give them anything they want is proof of the horrible evil elitism of the left and how they're super unfair and mean bullies to poor innocent conservatives who have never done anything in their lives but be noble, pure, and righteous god-fearing patriots.

It's why after all the unmitigated bullshit with Merrick Garland and the empty seat in OBama's term, they can still stand there with a straight face and mewl about how totally beyond the pale it is for the hateful liberals to even suggest not fulfilling their absolute and unquestionable Constitutional duty to give a swift and fair hearing to SCOTUS nominations made in accordance with President Trumps absolute and unquestionable Constitutional right to make such appointments.

It's why Trump is their hero, he is the President by, for, and of the people who never moved passed the 3rd grade playground bully stage: happy to dish it out, but screaming for mommy the minute they're on the receiving end.

[Zanera]

The same as I've always been old boy. America has no permanent friends or enemies, only interests. The Turks no longer serve those interests so all the nice things they've accrued from them should be stripped. It's just good business.



Senkaku, get the IRS drone.

^that's how you really tax and spend