Your worst self-caused injury

[Mad Monarch]

Before you ask, no I am not talking about cutting your wrists or attaching car batteries to your nipples. I am talking about injuries you got from you being stupid, drunk, or some other non-random chance reason.
I'll start: 4 years ago I had a trampoline. I loved that trampoline; I used it every day.
Moral of the story: Jumping off the roof onto your trampoline can end up breaking your trampoline, your nose, and your gutter.

[Arkotania]

I tend to avoid doing stupid acts but i once attempted to climb a fence and my jeans got caught on the barb on top and i almost fell head first onto the other side (a 10 foot fence). Friends helped me remove my stuck leg(helped rip the part of the jean that was stuck). I got a 6 inch cut across my leg that bled pretty badly but it wasn't deep(plus i may not be certified for first aid or anything but i have the US Army Survival Guide at home, which i nearly memorized, and was able to apply the necessary first aid. Got my wound cleaned and wrapped up in a bandage. It healed nicely but my mom almost killed me).

Most other injuries usually happened to an accident that was really my fault.

I once bruised my muscles on my ribs when i was on the trampoline and i tripped over a friend and fell onto the edge, metal edge, of the trampoline. It hurt to breath for three days.

Another time i was in a hurry and jumped over a friend's luggage case. My small toe hit his bag and i realized his cleats were facing up so i sprained my small toe and limped for three days.

But i've never broken a bone either.

Funny thing is, anytime i have done some sort of stupidity, it wasn't me getting hurt but my friends

[NERVUN]

Cracked my skull open at around age 5 due to a combination of a jump rope, my legs being tied together, and a pointy brass handle on our entertainment center.

I have a nice V shaped scar right above my hairline from that. When my hair is really short I get to tell people I was attacked by Zorro's cousin, Victor.

[Lackadaisical2]

I roller skated down a nice big hill in Pennsylvania once, the only problem: oncoming traffic.

Took a dive to avoid the car and managed to chip a tooth.

The next worse thing I probably ever did was kicking someone's ass, hurt my foot and limped for a month, I had bad technique and he had an ass of steel. I also once got my leg cut open when I was like 5 or 6 and had to get stitches, but I'm pretty sure I would have lived anyway.

[Nadkor]

I broke my foot once (two outermost metatarsals) kicking a bit of wood that didn't look like it was attached to anything.

Turns out it was. A wall.

Couldn't walk properly for about four weeks, couldn't wear heels without agony for about ten weeks.

Nighmare.

[Daircoill]

While drunk I once tried stealing a patio table from a guys porch, but he saw me and chased me down the road. When I tried throwing the table away i lost my footing and went face first into the road. He picked up the table, told me it served me right and then left me there with a split head and a concussion.

[Dakini Femina]

Before you ask, no I am not talking about cutting your wrists or attaching car batteries to your nipples. I am talking about injuries you got from you being stupid, drunk, or some other non-random chance reason.
I'll start: 4 years ago I had a trampoline. I loved that trampoline; I used it every day.
Moral of the story: Jumping off the roof onto your trampoline can end up breaking your trampoline, your nose, and your gutter.

That car battery to the nipples part sounds nasty. The alligator clips alone sound inhumane.

I was bored in class once when I was younger and I was spooking out my classmate by pretending to staple my middle finger. I did it for some time 'cos I loved the reaction on her face.

Then one day I really did staple myself. It was an accident though, and partially 'cos I was trying to gauge how far I could press down on the thing before I could feel the tips of the staple.

There. Retarded, I know.

[Hockey World]

I've sprained a wrist while falling into the boards once when I missed a check. Lucky to avoid a concussion on that one.

[Outworldia]

I jumped over a bush and sprained my ankle.
Me and my friends were playing football in my backyard, one of them threw it over this little bush and I went to go get it. On the otherside of the bush was a small ditch about 2 inches deep, and just about big enough to fit your foot in sideways. I was sure I could jump over it. I didn't.I tripped over it and sprained my ankle.

[Idealismania]

I agreed to get married.

[West Failure]

Cracked my skull open at around age 5 due to a combination of a jump rope, my legs being tied together, and a pointy brass handle on our entertainment center.

I have a nice V shaped scar right above my hairline from that. When my hair is really short I get to tell people I was attacked by Zorro's cousin, Victor.

About the same age I managed some similar injuries by persuading my sisters to jump on one end of a makeshift seesaw while I stood on the other end. I flew head first into a breeze block coal bunker. I blame circuses.

[Saint Andrews Island]

I was cleaning a paint pallet with a scalpel when aforementioned scalpel drove into my palm (2 inches from a vein) and almost passed out from shock, I was in College at the time.

[Krytenia]

Decided to show off with some stunts on my bicycle.

PROTIP: Do not attempt this with a mountain bike. It will not work.

Crashed, went flying most of the way over the handlebars...and then a certain part of my anatomy stopped me.

PROTIP: The scrotum is not a brake system.

[The Blaatschapen]

I have a scar on my forehead thanks to jumping on a bed(I was six). I nearly lost my eye when I tried to swim in a fountain(I was drunk). If you look closely at my left eye you will see a small scar at the side.

I never broke anything though.

[Ethel mermania]

I agreed to get married.

I got married.
/ thread.

Seriously back in the day, I was playing hockey and I missed a check the guy went around and scored. As I skated behind the net, I slammed my stick accross the crossbar, the stick shattered and a pretty good hunk of it, kicked up and hit me under the eye. I wound up breaking the orbital bone right below the eye.

I told people my girl friend hit me. I was too embarrassed to tell the truth

[The Cookish States]

In drunken hunger my best friend and I started to deep fry some potatoes and make hamburgers at one AM. While the grease was boiling, and french fries a cookin' I stuck my right pointer finger in batter and held it in the grease for about four seconds. After which I pulled it out (in pain) and looked at my finger which had 2nd and 3rd degree burns. In my drunken state I figured the perfect coup de gra would be to eat it. I did...

/Thread

[The Blaatschapen]

In drunken hunger my best friend and I started to deep fry some potatoes and make hamburgers at one AM. While the grease was boiling, and french fries a cookin' I stuck my right pointer finger in batter and held it in the grease for about four seconds. After which I pulled it out (in pain) and looked at my finger which had 2nd and 3rd degree burns. In my drunken state I figured the perfect coup de gra would be to eat it. I did...

/Thread

Please, a picture of your hand. And to prove that it is your hand, write 'NS' on the hand

[Polar Islandstates]

Cut my head open in Greece on holiday as a young'un.
Jumping on beds and throwing yourself backwards are not compatible activities.
Greek hospitals aren't fun places to get stitches either, at least, not after a breakneck car ride in the back of the hotel manager's son's car. fun times.

Think i gave myself a stress fracture or something playing british bulldog whilst drunk on the field at college once too, whilst drunk, in a hoard of about 100 competitors. middle of my shin swelled up to about a grapefruit in size, could walk on it but the swelling wouldn' go down for weeks. odd one, that.

[Ragnarsdomr]

Impaled my chin on a chunk of ice I was running around with at age six. I think it was for a snow fort or something, I forget.

There's a patch of skin where the scar was where hair will not grow now. Worst injury possible, for now I cannot become ZZ Top.

[Potarius]

Let's just say that my worst self-caused injury made me lose a lot of blood, and landed me in the ER.

[Free Georgizm]

Stubbed my little toe. Dear god that killed

[Mad Monarch]

Before you ask, no I am not talking about cutting your wrists or attaching car batteries to your nipples. I am talking about injuries you got from you being stupid, drunk, or some other non-random chance reason.
I'll start: 4 years ago I had a trampoline. I loved that trampoline; I used it every day.
Moral of the story: Jumping off the roof onto your trampoline can end up breaking your trampoline, your nose, and your gutter.

That car battery to the nipples part sounds nasty. The alligator clips alone sound inhumane.

I was bored in class once when I was younger and I was spooking out my classmate by pretending to staple my middle finger. I did it for some time 'cos I loved the reaction on her face.

Then one day I really did staple myself. It was an accident though, and partially 'cos I was trying to gauge how far I could press down on the thing before I could feel the tips of the staple.

There. Retarded, I know.

Random tip to stop staples: Plastic wrap.

For some strange reason staples do not like it

[Tekania]

Tearing part of my arm open on the edge of the hinged top of a sugar drawer in rough seas back in '95 while popping in to refill the sugar dispenser when attempting to set myself up with a little tea before watch.

[Nadkor]

Stubbed my little toe. Dear god that killed

If urban myth (which may or may not be true, I have no idea) is to be believed you probably broke it...

[Nyheim]

Hm.. I played with a sharp knife when I was 3-4 years old, the result of that 'toy' was a almost lightning bolt shaped scar on my thumb.
Harry Thumber eh?
I also fell down some stairs.