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Your first love

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)

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How old were you when you first fell in love?

10 or younger
35
13%
11-12
33
12%
13-15
94
34%
16-19
89
33%
20-25
15
5%
26 or older
7
3%
 
Total votes : 273

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Oterro
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Postby Oterro » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:31 pm

Olthar wrote:
1000 Cats wrote:No. It's a very meaningful term and has been given importance by every human culture across all chronology. It's also much more complex than your implied neurochemistry, involving a wide variety of somatic and psychological phenomena. You got the rest right, though.

Really? All human culture? I guess you didn't do so well in history class, eh? "Love" has really only existed since 18th century Europe started the Romanticism movement.


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1000 Cats
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Postby 1000 Cats » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:32 pm

Suidwes-Afrika wrote:
Joneslind wrote:love is not my thing -but i had a girl i loved win i was 12 -but it never is love at that age.


True. It is never real love at that age.

I would disagree with this, personally. I felt love when I was that age, although I didn't realize it at the time (because love is, of course, only between two human beings) and so merely didn't act on it apart from always wanting to be with her to the exception of whatever else.
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Olthar
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Postby Olthar » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:34 pm

1000 Cats wrote:
Olthar wrote:Really? All human culture? I guess you didn't do so well in history class, eh? "Love" has really only existed since 18th century Europe started the Romanticism movement.

Um, really? Because there's references to it in the Tao Te Ching, Poetic Edda, Odyssey, Cree, legends of the Cree, the Amazonian Basin, the Australian Aboriginals and tribal Africa, the Old Testament, Kalevala, Vedic texts... really?

And back in ancient Greece, the term "happiness" effectively meant "serving your country." Language has changed a lot over the years. The fact of the matter is that before the Romantic Era, marriage was a strictly political arrangement, and the general populous was far too busy working every waking hour to worry about things like "love" and "romance." When you had to work dawn till dusk to feed your family, you didn't particularly have time to go on a quest to find your "soul mate." Only after industrialism made the production of goods easier and faster, freeing up people's time to focus on personal achievements, did anyone actually worry about finding that "perfect someone."
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Southern Patriots
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Postby Southern Patriots » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:38 pm

Youngest love was at 8, and she was a new student from India. We were inseparable, until of course we were separated when her family moved.
When I was older I had my first real (I say "real" because being older perhaps it could be said we have a better idea of romantic connections) relationship with daughter of my father's best friend. But then I moved, and being in different countries the distance complicated things. We still talk, and someday I hope to go back.

To quote a movie: love, it's a motherfucker. :lol:

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1000 Cats
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Postby 1000 Cats » Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:38 pm

Olthar wrote:
1000 Cats wrote:Um, really? Because there's references to it in the Tao Te Ching, Poetic Edda, Odyssey, Cree, legends of the Cree, the Amazonian Basin, the Australian Aboriginals and tribal Africa, the Old Testament, Kalevala, Vedic texts... really?

And back in ancient Greece, the term "happiness" effectively meant "serving your country." Language has changed a lot over the years. The fact of the matter is that before the Romantic Era, marriage was a strictly political arrangement, and the general populous was far too busy working every waking hour to worry about things like "love" and "romance." When you had to work dawn till dusk to feed your family, you didn't particularly have time to go on a quest to find your "soul mate." Only after industrialism made the production of goods easier and faster, freeing up people's time to focus on personal achievements, did anyone actually worry about finding that "perfect someone."

No, you're thinking "virtue". Happiness meant just the same as it does now. :roll: Not to mention that Greece was hardly a country.

And you have things completely crossed: prior to the Industrial Revolution, free time was relatively high; possibly higher than it is today. Prior to feudalism, far higher, and higher still prior to agrarianism. There's no debate about this.

Sorry, but obsessive love has been something on the collective human mind since the dawn of language, at least. The proof is in the text; it's not used in the context of, "I like you as a friend," or, "I really wanna bone you," it's a passion that cannot be removed and incites characters to do ridiculous things for their object of affection.
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Isolated China
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Postby Isolated China » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:05 pm

Dakini wrote:
Isolated China wrote:Well, I'm more almost 14. In about a month I'll be 14. But true. Already tried dating once. Didn't work out so well. Turns out she lied about liking me, made up something to break up, then changed her phone number and stopped talking to me. Then went out with her friend, who happened to be in a class me and her had together.

Anyways, I'm guessing you've passed through such stage?

Yes. I didn't have my first date until I was 17, almost 18.

I think I've learned that the boys I had unfulfilled crushes on when I was in high school (either because I acted on the crushes or not) are generally losers now. Well, some of them were losers then, but I didn't notice because I was being stupid and like "omg, he's so cute, I want him to go to the dance with me, lalalala". This is also mostly similar with the guys I've broken up with since the horribly awkward stage known as adolescence. :P

(This was 6 pages back. Jeeze, ya go to bed, head to school, and come home to 5 new pages...)
Yeah Adolescence is awkward. More so in school, because they have to go through sex education, you are forced to interact with people who judge you on how you look, etc. And what I find ironic is that most of the popular kids end up having bad lives in the end. Like they become criminals, have low-paying jobs, commit suicide, etc. Though that may be just where I live. :p
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Cameroi
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Postby Cameroi » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:20 pm

my FIRST love, when i was one year old, was and still is, model trains. my first HUMAN love, was when i was in kindergarten. my second was in third grade and we were going to elope. probably would have if such a thing had been possible. oddly, when adolescence struck, no one of the desired gender wanted anything to do with me, or at least as far as i was able to tell at the time. it wasn't until after i'd left the air force, in my early 20s, that anyone physically reciprocated my affection.

during adolescence i felt love toward just about anything female. and adolescence started for me around the age of 9, or 9.5. (which a lot of people seem to claim is unusually young. but my own memories at the time, this is not so. most of the guys and most of the girls as well, had become erotically sensitive by that age, many younger. maybe the rural school i went to up in the mountains was unusual in this way, but somehow i kind of doubt that too.)
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Motuka
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Postby Motuka » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:28 pm

Never loved. Probably never going to be loved. My existence is a gloomy parade of eternal darkness *cuts self, tightens jeans*

Seriously, love would be awesome. I hope it happens to me sometime.
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Suidwes-Afrika
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Postby Suidwes-Afrika » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:32 pm

1000 Cats wrote:
Suidwes-Afrika wrote:
True. It is never real love at that age.

I would disagree with this, personally. I felt love when I was that age, although I didn't realize it at the time (because love is, of course, only between two human beings) and so merely didn't act on it apart from always wanting to be with her to the exception of whatever else.


Infatuation? Or true love?

The former may seem "very serious" at times, but it's not true love speaking.
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Postby New Rogernomics » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:45 pm

First kiss, when I was 10 or 11. Love? Never, and don't miss/want it all so far whatsoever. :p

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The Merchant Republics
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Postby The Merchant Republics » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:47 pm

Olthar wrote:
1000 Cats wrote:Um, really? Because there's references to it in the Tao Te Ching, Poetic Edda, Odyssey, Cree, legends of the Cree, the Amazonian Basin, the Australian Aboriginals and tribal Africa, the Old Testament, Kalevala, Vedic texts... really?

And back in ancient Greece, the term "happiness" effectively meant "serving your country." Language has changed a lot over the years. The fact of the matter is that before the Romantic Era, marriage was a strictly political arrangement, and the general populous was far too busy working every waking hour to worry about things like "love" and "romance." When you had to work dawn till dusk to feed your family, you didn't particularly have time to go on a quest to find your "soul mate." Only after industrialism made the production of goods easier and faster, freeing up people's time to focus on personal achievements, did anyone actually worry about finding that "perfect someone."

That's not entirely true.

Courtly Romance has it's foundations as far back as 1300's, and before that the concept of Romantic Love still existed in various forms. It's acknowledged by most major religions even dating far back, and the mythos of many a culture have had romantic figures and love.

Consider the story of Narcissus and Echo (the first that came to mind) as a case of love as a long and burning desire (though only Echo felt it), or for a more human example, Odysseus and Penelope, a married couple who showed much devotion and love for each other much beyond pure politics.

For the poor perhaps, marriage has never been much more than an economic alliance with benefits, but at least among the privileged love has always been considered, and always present, if not of the same kind.
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Postby Erinkita » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:48 pm

Suidwes-Afrika wrote:
1000 Cats wrote:I would disagree with this, personally. I felt love when I was that age, although I didn't realize it at the time (because love is, of course, only between two human beings) and so merely didn't act on it apart from always wanting to be with her to the exception of whatever else.


Infatuation? Or true love?

The former may seem "very serious" at times, but it's not true love speaking.

What's the difference between the two? Apart from the arbitrary age bracket, I mean.
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United Gackle
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Postby United Gackle » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:50 pm

16 and i'm still with her today xD

and i'm 20 now
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Trotskylvania
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Postby Trotskylvania » Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:52 pm

Olthar wrote:
1000 Cats wrote:No. It's a very meaningful term and has been given importance by every human culture across all chronology. It's also much more complex than your implied neurochemistry, involving a wide variety of somatic and psychological phenomena. You got the rest right, though.

Really? All human culture? I guess you didn't do so well in history class, eh? "Love" has really only existed since 18th century Europe started the Romanticism movement.

Apparently you didn't either.

The Middle Ages were filled with tales of "courtly love", usually hopeless and unrequited. It was Dante's love for Beatrice that inspired him to write The Divine Comedy after she passed away. All of the Dark Ages civilizations had their own legends and stories of love. Rome's national epic, the Aeneid, has the hopeless love between Queen Dido of Carthage and the eponymous hero as the foreshadowing of the Punic Wars. And it was Paris' love/infatuation of Helen that serves as the beginning of the Hellenic Epic Cycle, of which only two survive intact, the Illiad and the Odyssey
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Postby Trotskylvania » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:01 pm

The Merchant Republics wrote:For the poor perhaps, marriage has never been much more than an economic alliance with benefits, but at least among the privileged love has always been considered, and always present, if not of the same kind.

I've found the opposite to be true, actually. Only those who don't have great familial dynasties to think about were generally able to base their marriages on romantic affection. The economically privileged, on the other hand, had to secure their lineage and build alliances, leading very much to women being used as nothing more than bargaining chips.
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Postby United Gackle » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:04 pm

Trotskylvania wrote:
Olthar wrote:Really? All human culture? I guess you didn't do so well in history class, eh? "Love" has really only existed since 18th century Europe started the Romanticism movement.

Apparently you didn't either.

The Middle Ages were filled with tales of "courtly love", usually hopeless and unrequited. It was Dante's love for Beatrice that inspired him to write The Divine Comedy after she passed away. All of the Dark Ages civilizations had their own legends and stories of love. Rome's national epic, the Aeneid, has the hopeless love between Queen Dido of Carthage and the eponymous hero as the foreshadowing of the Punic Wars. And it was Paris' love/infatuation of Helen that serves as the beginning of the Hellenic Epic Cycle, of which only two survive intact, the Illiad and the Odyssey

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Newmoonrising
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Postby Newmoonrising » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:05 pm

1000 Cats wrote:
Olthar wrote:And back in ancient Greece, the term "happiness" effectively meant "serving your country." Language has changed a lot over the years. The fact of the matter is that before the Romantic Era, marriage was a strictly political arrangement, and the general populous was far too busy working every waking hour to worry about things like "love" and "romance." When you had to work dawn till dusk to feed your family, you didn't particularly have time to go on a quest to find your "soul mate." Only after industrialism made the production of goods easier and faster, freeing up people's time to focus on personal achievements, did anyone actually worry about finding that "perfect someone."

No, you're thinking "virtue". Happiness meant just the same as it does now. :roll: Not to mention that Greece was hardly a country.

And you have things completely crossed: prior to the Industrial Revolution, free time was relatively high; possibly higher than it is today. Prior to feudalism, far higher, and higher still prior to agrarianism. There's no debate about this.

Sorry, but obsessive love has been something on the collective human mind since the dawn of language, at least. The proof is in the text; it's not used in the context of, "I like you as a friend," or, "I really wanna bone you," it's a passion that cannot be removed and incites characters to do ridiculous things for their object of affection.

:rofl: More free time bore agrarianism. :rofl:

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Trotskylvania
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Postby Trotskylvania » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:05 pm

Olthar wrote:
1000 Cats wrote:Um, really? Because there's references to it in the Tao Te Ching, Poetic Edda, Odyssey, Cree, legends of the Cree, the Amazonian Basin, the Australian Aboriginals and tribal Africa, the Old Testament, Kalevala, Vedic texts... really?

And back in ancient Greece, the term "happiness" effectively meant "serving your country." Language has changed a lot over the years. The fact of the matter is that before the Romantic Era, marriage was a strictly political arrangement, and the general populous was far too busy working every waking hour to worry about things like "love" and "romance." When you had to work dawn till dusk to feed your family, you didn't particularly have time to go on a quest to find your "soul mate." Only after industrialism made the production of goods easier and faster, freeing up people's time to focus on personal achievements, did anyone actually worry about finding that "perfect someone."

Actually, peasants in the Middle Ages generally worked fewer hours per year than we do now. It tended to be concentrated towards specific periods (planting, harvest, etc.), but the common view of the middle ages is just plain wrong. Just look at any Church calendar, and look at all the holidays on there that you've probably never heard of. Those were all days in which the peasants, from the lowliest serf to a yeoman freeholder, wouldn't be expected to work.
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The Merchant Republics
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Postby The Merchant Republics » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 pm

Trotskylvania wrote:
The Merchant Republics wrote:For the poor perhaps, marriage has never been much more than an economic alliance with benefits, but at least among the privileged love has always been considered, and always present, if not of the same kind.

I've found the opposite to be true, actually. Only those who don't have great familial dynasties to think about were generally able to base their marriages on romantic affection. The economically privileged, on the other hand, had to secure their lineage and build alliances, leading very much to women being used as nothing more than bargaining chips.

That's true as well. I think on average it tended to be the middle class that could marry for love, the poor had money to worry about, the rich had power.

However at the lower rungs economic necessity restricted one's options as well, though likely to a much lesser extent.
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1000 Cats
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Postby 1000 Cats » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 pm

Suidwes-Afrika wrote:
1000 Cats wrote:I would disagree with this, personally. I felt love when I was that age, although I didn't realize it at the time (because love is, of course, only between two human beings) and so merely didn't act on it apart from always wanting to be with her to the exception of whatever else.


Infatuation? Or true love?

The former may seem "very serious" at times, but it's not true love speaking.

Yeah, the seriousness is all in the action. I would say that if we want to get technical, infatuation is love that doesn't really result in anything, but it obviously can become 'real' love. In my case, it didn't until a couple years later. In others, it obviously may not come at all, and it's conceivable that it may have done at that point in time at the age of twelve. It probably would have if I'd recognized the feeling in a broader context, but I'd never felt love before then and so didn't really understand it.
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Newmoonrising
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Postby Newmoonrising » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:19 pm

The Merchant Republics wrote:
Trotskylvania wrote:I've found the opposite to be true, actually. Only those who don't have great familial dynasties to think about were generally able to base their marriages on romantic affection. The economically privileged, on the other hand, had to secure their lineage and build alliances, leading very much to women being used as nothing more than bargaining chips.

That's true as well. I think on average it tended to be the middle class that could marry for love, the poor had money to worry about, the rich had power.

However at the lower rungs economic necessity restricted one's options as well, though likely to a much lesser extent.

Meh they also had to worry whether or not their partner was virile enough to produce alot of kids to have more hands to help out on the farm, till the lords land, etc.

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Johz
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Postby Johz » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:47 pm

Oterro wrote:
Olthar wrote:Really? All human culture? I guess you didn't do so well in history class, eh? "Love" has really only existed since 18th century Europe started the Romanticism movement.


Alas, my love, you do me wrong, to cast me off discourteously!

It's a guilty secret, but I love that song. Something about the powerful first beat, the triple metre, and the rythmic pattern.

As for first human love, well, I'm not sure, but a certain young lady who I certainly enjoy all forms of company with springs to mind. But then she lives in German, and I live in the UK, and life's a dick sometimes...
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Oterro
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Postby Oterro » Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:52 pm

Johz wrote:
Oterro wrote:
Alas, my love, you do me wrong, to cast me off discourteously!

It's a guilty secret, but I love that song. Something about the powerful first beat, the triple metre, and the rythmic pattern.


It's great, regardless of connotations! Sounds lovely when played on an acoustic guitar. Was playing it while I read the post and felt like being glib :d
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Lucantis
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Postby Lucantis » Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:11 pm

I fell in love with my best friend last year in 8th. She ended up going out with my other best friend. This year. Almost the same thing happened.
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Isolated China
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Posts: 3365
Founded: Aug 02, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Isolated China » Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:15 pm

Motuka wrote:Never loved. Probably never going to be loved. My existence is a gloomy parade of eternal darkness *cuts self, tightens jeans*

Seriously, love would be awesome. I hope it happens to me sometime.

Thats why you become Isolated. You never have to worry about love, and your existance in glumness becomes much more exciting!

Lucantis wrote:I fell in love with my best friend last year in 8th. She ended up going out with my other best friend. This year. Almost the same thing happened.

So she's going out with you now then? That must've sucked, to see her going out with your other best friend.
Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.
- Lao Tzu
Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.
- Sun Tzu
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
- Chinese Proverb
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

Self-Declared Grammar Communist of the World
TG Box is open for discussing, help, or just flat-out conversation. Feel free to message me anytime!
Oh and I'm back.

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