NATION

PASSWORD

Fear of love

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)

Are you erotophobic?

Yes.
2
7%
No, I'm asexual.
3
10%
No, I'm sexual.
24
83%
 
Total votes : 29

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Four-sided Triangles
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Fear of love

Postby Four-sided Triangles » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:08 pm

I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm not asexual. I'm just erotophobic. I'm actually quite terrified about feelings of love and sexuality. I've never pursued a relationship, and I've never fallen in love. If I did ever fall in love, I would avoid the person like the plague due to fear. Hell, I'm nervous around women in general anyway, even if I have no feelings for them to begin with. I'm terrified of most women, and I don't even know why. I'm a freak.

Does anybody else have a fear of love and sexuality? Is anyone else afraid around members of the opposite sex, or the same sex?
This is why gay marriage will destroy American families.
Gays are made up of gaytrinos and they interact via faggons, which are massless spin 2 particles. They're massless because gays care so much about their weight, and have spin 2, cause that's as much spin as particles can get, and liberals love spin. The exchange of spin 2 particles creates an attractive force between objects, which is why gays are so promiscuous. When gays get "settle down" into a lower energy state by marrying, they release faggon particles in the form of gaydiation. Everyone is a little bit gay, so every human body has some gaytrinos in it, meaning that the gaydiation could cause straight people to be attracted to gays and choose to turn gay.

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The Murtunian Tribes
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Postby The Murtunian Tribes » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:11 pm

Four-sided Triangles wrote:I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm not asexual. I'm just erotophobic. I'm actually quite terrified about feelings of love and sexuality. I've never pursued a relationship, and I've never fallen in love. If I did ever fall in love, I would avoid the person like the plague due to fear. Hell, I'm nervous around women in general anyway, even if I have no feelings for them to begin with. I'm terrified of most women, and I don't even know why. I'm a freak.

Does anybody else have a fear of love and sexuality? Is anyone else afraid around members of the opposite sex, or the same sex?

Is being asexual even a thing? Unless you're a eunuch or something.

Typically most people are afraid of the opposite sex due to fear of rejection. I'm also not buying that you have no feelings for women to begin with otherwise you wouldn't have enough of a basis to fear them.

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1000 Cats
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Postby 1000 Cats » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:13 pm

I was for the longest time. Just realized that I hadn't found the right individual. And was looking at the wrong species.

I think that those feelings will evaporate like they were never there once you find the correct person for you. You actually sound to me like what I think of as the "right" sort: the kind who won't just bounce around looking for his next fling or fuck buddy. Your eventual relationship will be one that's evolved from friendship - something I'm assuming you're not afraid of - and that's really the best possible thing.

I do know people who were like you in the past, by the way, which is what I'm basing this response on. They're now the most healthy people I know as far as their love lives and relevant mindsets.
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1000 Cats
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Postby 1000 Cats » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:14 pm

The Murtunian Tribes wrote:
Four-sided Triangles wrote:I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm not asexual. I'm just erotophobic. I'm actually quite terrified about feelings of love and sexuality. I've never pursued a relationship, and I've never fallen in love. If I did ever fall in love, I would avoid the person like the plague due to fear. Hell, I'm nervous around women in general anyway, even if I have no feelings for them to begin with. I'm terrified of most women, and I don't even know why. I'm a freak.

Does anybody else have a fear of love and sexuality? Is anyone else afraid around members of the opposite sex, or the same sex?

Is being asexual even a thing? Unless you're a eunuch or something.

Yeah, it is. There are people who just aren't interested in sex.
Your friendly neighborhood zoophile. I'm here to answer questions. Also, we have a region: Zoo!

Norstal wrote:You are a hatiater: one who radiates hate.


Meryuma wrote:No one is more of a cat person than 1000 Cats!


FST wrote:Any sexual desires which can be satiated within a healthy and consensual way should be freed from shame. Bizarre kinks and fetishes are acceptable and nothing to be ashamed of as long as they are acted out in a context where everyone consents and no one is hurt.
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The Parkus Empire
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Postby The Parkus Empire » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:17 pm

Try having sex with a friend. Helped me.
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Four-sided Triangles
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Postby Four-sided Triangles » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:17 pm

The Murtunian Tribes wrote:Typically most people are afraid of the opposite sex due to fear of rejection. I'm also not buying that you have no feelings for women to begin with otherwise you wouldn't have enough of a basis to fear them.


The idea of having sex scares me, and I've never pursued a relationship even slightly. I tell everyone that I'm asexual if they ask. Why would I be afraid around women that I'm not even trying to form a bond with?

If you must know, I'm terrified of having sex because I always picture it as me being weak and vulnerable. I also find the idea of being in a sexual relationship embarrassing. I'm embarrassed by sexuality, but only when it's me or someone I know that's involved. I feel weird when I hear about people I know having sex.
This is why gay marriage will destroy American families.
Gays are made up of gaytrinos and they interact via faggons, which are massless spin 2 particles. They're massless because gays care so much about their weight, and have spin 2, cause that's as much spin as particles can get, and liberals love spin. The exchange of spin 2 particles creates an attractive force between objects, which is why gays are so promiscuous. When gays get "settle down" into a lower energy state by marrying, they release faggon particles in the form of gaydiation. Everyone is a little bit gay, so every human body has some gaytrinos in it, meaning that the gaydiation could cause straight people to be attracted to gays and choose to turn gay.

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Zebbstar
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Postby Zebbstar » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:19 pm

Its the fear of rejection

I have once loved someone and she cheated on me (2 year relationship)
I vowed never to love someone or let someone get that close to me again
But 6months later on, A good friend of mine(A girl) I started to like her and I knew she would feel the same way if I told her(Which I did and I'm glad I did)
Its taken a little while to get my barrier down and such and every now and again I'll freak out that she will do the same thing as my ex did
But as a friend she was always there for me and shes NEVER given me reason to doubt her
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The Floridian Coast
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Postby The Floridian Coast » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:20 pm

I'm not quite sure. I had a relationship that was mostly long distance (but not always, we did have some time together in person and we were intimate) for nearly two years. It ended a little more than a year ago. I haven't had anyone since. I have desires for one night stands for the most part. I wouldn't go so far to pay a prostitute, but I would have sex with the first girl who offered it. Ever since that breakup I've lost all desire to pursue a long term relationship with another person.

And no, I'm not waiting out for my ex, I know she's gone from my life forever and I've come to terms with it. But as of right now, I can't deal with a commitment. And if that means no sex for a long time too, I can deal with that just fine.
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The Murtunian Tribes
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Postby The Murtunian Tribes » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:22 pm

Four-sided Triangles wrote:
The Murtunian Tribes wrote:Typically most people are afraid of the opposite sex due to fear of rejection. I'm also not buying that you have no feelings for women to begin with otherwise you wouldn't have enough of a basis to fear them.


The idea of having sex scares me, and I've never pursued a relationship even slightly. I tell everyone that I'm asexual if they ask. Why would I be afraid around women that I'm not even trying to form a bond with?

If you must know, I'm terrified of having sex because I always picture it as me being weak and vulnerable. I also find the idea of being in a sexual relationship embarrassing. I'm embarrassed by sexuality, but only when it's me or someone I know that's involved. I feel weird when I hear about people I know having sex.

I don't know, you're the one who said you were afraid of most women.

Meh, that feeling weird part is pretty normal. It goes away once you start getting older, or you know, have sex.

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Zebbstar
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Postby Zebbstar » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:23 pm

Four-sided Triangles wrote:
The Murtunian Tribes wrote:Typically most people are afraid of the opposite sex due to fear of rejection. I'm also not buying that you have no feelings for women to begin with otherwise you wouldn't have enough of a basis to fear them.


The idea of having sex scares me, and I've never pursued a relationship even slightly. I tell everyone that I'm asexual if they ask. Why would I be afraid around women that I'm not even trying to form a bond with?

If you must know, I'm terrified of having sex because I always picture it as me being weak and vulnerable. I also find the idea of being in a sexual relationship embarrassing. I'm embarrassed by sexuality, but only when it's me or someone I know that's involved. I feel weird when I hear about people I know having sex.



I'm not by any means a sexual stud or any relationship master

By the sounds of it, Your genuinely scared that someone is going to hurt you and so your not going to let anyone else get closer to you, Which in a way to me sounds sad. But hey whatever floats your boat, I ain't here to judge you

Sex isn't that bad, Or as bad as you think it is
Yeah the first time is a bit daunting, But you get over that
You grow and learn with the person, Its quite cool really
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Postby Risottia » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:34 pm

Four-sided Triangles wrote:Is anyone else afraid around members of the opposite sex

I'm afraid of women only when there's a sale of bags and shoes.
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Idealismania
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Postby Idealismania » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:38 pm

Four-sided Triangles wrote:I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm not asexual. I'm just erotophobic. I'm actually quite terrified about feelings of love and sexuality. I've never pursued a relationship, and I've never fallen in love. If I did ever fall in love, I would avoid the person like the plague due to fear. Hell, I'm nervous around women in general anyway, even if I have no feelings for them to begin with. I'm terrified of most women, and I don't even know why. I'm a freak.

Does anybody else have a fear of love and sexuality? Is anyone else afraid around members of the opposite sex, or the same sex?


Is this an epic case of the fear of rejection or failure?

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Idealismania
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Postby Idealismania » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:42 pm

I do notice I am most comfortable around females that I don't have desire to be in a deep relationship with. I'm somewhat socially awkard and definately not a stud so I'm not so great when it comes to getting ladies and I experience a lot of rejection. But I'm not scared of them or anything, but I'm definately more confident around people when I don't care what they think about me.

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The Murtunian Tribes
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Postby The Murtunian Tribes » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:44 pm

Idealismania wrote:I do notice I am most comfortable around females that I don't have desire to be in a deep relationship with. I'm somewhat socially awkard and definately not a stud so I'm not so great when it comes to getting ladies and I experience a lot of rejection. But I'm not scared of them or anything, but I'm definately more confident around people when I don't care what they think about me.

Probably why you use the internet, huh? :p

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Four-sided Triangles
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Postby Four-sided Triangles » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:45 pm

Idealismania wrote:Is this an epic case of the fear of rejection or failure?


Well I am so afraid of failure that I used to get pissed at myself when I got a 99% on tests in college, but that's not the issue.

The real issue is that I'm embarrassed by love and sexuality, especially sexuality. Admitting to sexuality is admitting to being vulnerable and having weaknesses. I'm afraid of people seeing my weakness. You don't know how hard it was for me to even start this OP, and I don't even know you people. You're the first ones I've ever admitted this to. Even my entire family thinks I'm completely asexual.
This is why gay marriage will destroy American families.
Gays are made up of gaytrinos and they interact via faggons, which are massless spin 2 particles. They're massless because gays care so much about their weight, and have spin 2, cause that's as much spin as particles can get, and liberals love spin. The exchange of spin 2 particles creates an attractive force between objects, which is why gays are so promiscuous. When gays get "settle down" into a lower energy state by marrying, they release faggon particles in the form of gaydiation. Everyone is a little bit gay, so every human body has some gaytrinos in it, meaning that the gaydiation could cause straight people to be attracted to gays and choose to turn gay.

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Timurid Empire
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Postby Timurid Empire » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:46 pm

I do not understand people like this. How can you fear any human being or interaction with them? We are all Human, and we all bleed the same. Unless their a Hemophiliac.
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Natty Narwhal
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Postby Natty Narwhal » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:49 pm

No, not really. What I fear is the inevitable heartbreak.
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Idealismania
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Postby Idealismania » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:49 pm

The Murtunian Tribes wrote:
Idealismania wrote:I do notice I am most comfortable around females that I don't have desire to be in a deep relationship with. I'm somewhat socially awkard and definately not a stud so I'm not so great when it comes to getting ladies and I experience a lot of rejection. But I'm not scared of them or anything, but I'm definately more confident around people when I don't care what they think about me.

Probably why you use the internet, huh? :p


Lol I don't care what anyone thinks of me other than you :hug:
actually, I like the internet because I get to talk about things I find intersting like fear of love. Noone I know in real life is interested in deep discussions. They just want to get drunk and play video games. That gets old after a while.

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The Murtunian Tribes
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Postby The Murtunian Tribes » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:49 pm

Four-sided Triangles wrote:
Idealismania wrote:Is this an epic case of the fear of rejection or failure?


Well I am so afraid of failure that I used to get pissed at myself when I got a 99% on tests in college, but that's not the issue.

The real issue is that I'm embarrassed by love and sexuality, especially sexuality. Admitting to sexuality is admitting to being vulnerable and having weaknesses. I'm afraid of people seeing my weakness. You don't know how hard it was for me to even start this OP, and I don't even know you people. You're the first ones I've ever admitted this to. Even my entire family thinks I'm completely asexual.

This reads as both masochistic AND narcissistic at the same time, and that's not easy to do.

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Slaytesics
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Postby Slaytesics » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:49 pm

Timurid Empire wrote:I do not understand people like this. How can you fear any human being or interaction with them? We are all Human, and we all bleed the same. Unless their a Hemophiliac.


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Idealismania
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Postby Idealismania » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:53 pm

Four-sided Triangles wrote:
Idealismania wrote:Is this an epic case of the fear of rejection or failure?


Well I am so afraid of failure that I used to get pissed at myself when I got a 99% on tests in college, but that's not the issue.

The real issue is that I'm embarrassed by love and sexuality, especially sexuality. Admitting to sexuality is admitting to being vulnerable and having weaknesses. I'm afraid of people seeing my weakness. You don't know how hard it was for me to even start this OP, and I don't even know you people. You're the first ones I've ever admitted this to. Even my entire family thinks I'm completely asexual.


I think you might have had some serious oppressive views being forced on you in regards to sex during your upbringing. Being sexual is a human characteristic. It's not a weakness to want to have that deep connection with another human. And it's not just the physical connection, but an even deeper one that forms with the person as well. In fact I'm pretty sure the bible (I'm ONLY bringing religion into this because I remember you from another topic and I think I remember you as being on the side of there is a God. I don't want this to become about religious morals) only describes one person ever has having no interest as far as sex goes and that's the antichrist (in the book of Daniel near the end).

Props for putting yourself out there :clap: It's tough to open up about some stuff, even on the internet.

BTW how old are you?

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Four-sided Triangles
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Postby Four-sided Triangles » Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:56 pm

The Murtunian Tribes wrote:This reads as both masochistic AND narcissistic at the same time, and that's not easy to do.


I feel like everyone is always silently judging me and keeping a mental note of every single one of my failures. I feel that nearly all of them secretly hate me.

Yeah, I'm probably fucked in the head.

No, my parents never abused me at all. In fact, I was quite spoiled when I was growing up. My mother doted on me and bought me everything I wanted. My father bailed me out of my fuck-ups, but he also found fault with everything I did. But aren't all fathers extremely critical of their sons?

Nah, I think it's genetic. My whole mother's family consists of people with clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders and schizotypal personalities. I'm just naturally a head case.
This is why gay marriage will destroy American families.
Gays are made up of gaytrinos and they interact via faggons, which are massless spin 2 particles. They're massless because gays care so much about their weight, and have spin 2, cause that's as much spin as particles can get, and liberals love spin. The exchange of spin 2 particles creates an attractive force between objects, which is why gays are so promiscuous. When gays get "settle down" into a lower energy state by marrying, they release faggon particles in the form of gaydiation. Everyone is a little bit gay, so every human body has some gaytrinos in it, meaning that the gaydiation could cause straight people to be attracted to gays and choose to turn gay.

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Four-sided Triangles
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Postby Four-sided Triangles » Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:00 am

Idealismania wrote:I think you might have had some serious oppressive views being forced on you in regards to sex during your upbringing. Being sexual is a human characteristic. It's not a weakness to want to have that deep connection with another human. And it's not just the physical connection, but an even deeper one that forms with the person as well. In fact I'm pretty sure the bible (I'm ONLY bringing religion into this because I remember you from another topic and I think I remember you as being on the side of there is a God. I don't want this to become about religious morals) only describes one person ever has having no interest as far as sex goes and that's the antichrist (in the book of Daniel near the end).


No, my parents were vaguely religious, a lapsed Catholic and a pseudo-Baptist that accepts evolution and never goes to church. They never told me anything bad about sex. They're even far less homophobic than most people their age.

Props for putting yourself out there :clap: It's tough to open up about some stuff, even on the internet.


I'm just waiting for the trolls. This stuff will attract them in droves.

BTW how old are you?


I'm a 22 year old college graduate and perma-virgin.
This is why gay marriage will destroy American families.
Gays are made up of gaytrinos and they interact via faggons, which are massless spin 2 particles. They're massless because gays care so much about their weight, and have spin 2, cause that's as much spin as particles can get, and liberals love spin. The exchange of spin 2 particles creates an attractive force between objects, which is why gays are so promiscuous. When gays get "settle down" into a lower energy state by marrying, they release faggon particles in the form of gaydiation. Everyone is a little bit gay, so every human body has some gaytrinos in it, meaning that the gaydiation could cause straight people to be attracted to gays and choose to turn gay.

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The Murtunian Tribes
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Postby The Murtunian Tribes » Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:01 am

Four-sided Triangles wrote:
The Murtunian Tribes wrote:This reads as both masochistic AND narcissistic at the same time, and that's not easy to do.


I feel like everyone is always silently judging me and keeping a mental note of every single one of my failures. I feel that nearly all of them secretly hate me.

Yeah, I'm probably fucked in the head.

No, my parents never abused me at all. In fact, I was quite spoiled when I was growing up. My mother doted on me and bought me everything I wanted. My father bailed me out of my fuck-ups, but he also found fault with everything I did. But aren't all fathers extremely critical of their sons?

Nah, I think it's genetic. My whole mother's family consists of people with clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders and schizotypal personalities. I'm just naturally a head case.

Yep, I was right. Masochistic (at least emotionally) and narcissistic.

No one said you were abused, just that you probably grew up in a household that was very religious or conservative and attached a strong degree of shame to sex. Guess not. As far as everyone secretly hating you, if it makes you feel better you're not that important.
Last edited by The Murtunian Tribes on Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Idealismania
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Postby Idealismania » Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:04 am

Four-sided Triangles wrote:
The Murtunian Tribes wrote:This reads as both masochistic AND narcissistic at the same time, and that's not easy to do.


I feel like everyone is always silently judging me and keeping a mental note of every single one of my failures. I feel that nearly all of them secretly hate me.

Yeah, I'm probably fucked in the head.

No, my parents never abused me at all. In fact, I was quite spoiled when I was growing up. My mother doted on me and bought me everything I wanted. My father bailed me out of my fuck-ups, but he also found fault with everything I did. But aren't all fathers extremely critical of their sons?

Nah, I think it's genetic. My whole mother's family consists of people with clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders and schizotypal personalities. I'm just naturally a head case.


I don't think you're fucked in the head although I would suggest talking to a professional just because mental disorders can run in a family and it would be good to know for sure for your sake.. I think you just need to go easier on yourself. Why are you so hard on yourself? You're a collection of cells with an amazing ability to have consciousness and even a sub-conscious to help you solve problems and guide you when you're not even aware of it. You're basicall a team lol. Work together and get through things together. You're going to make mistakes. We all do. And some people are judgmental assholes. So f--- them. Just do the best you can. Do what you know is right. And give yourself a break. Talk to a girl you like, and don't expect for it to go perfect and smooth. Expect to mess up and expect rejection. Eventually you will figure it out. You'll be ok ;)

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