How do you make being hit in the balls hurt less?

[XXXnoonXXX]

Oh... err... ummmmm... I am speechless. Why do you want to know that? Wouldn't it be better if, you know, you do not get hit in the balls at all?

It took at least 15 pages of posts for the reasoning to get through. look on the last page for the end ot it.

[Goldsaver]

Dude, she is going to kick you in the balls. If you really have to be friends with her, then the only thing you can do is take it like a man, but you really should dump her and make new friends.

[United Dependencies]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

[XXXnoonXXX]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

[H N Fiddlebottoms VIII]

There is also that other thing I said. its one or two posts above yours. Flowers, with her, I would say would always make things worse. I don't see her as a "flowers" kind of girl.

If you really want to placate her, go up to her wearing nothing but a bondage collar and a ball gag. Then offer her a riding crop. At this point one of two things can happen:
1. She'll tear into you like Sulieman the Magnificent tore into the Balkans. You're apparently seeking some kind of sadomasochistic romantic relationship with her to put up with this, so that is a good thing.
2. She'll be disgusted and walk away, ending this trainwreck of a relationship. That's also a good thing, for reasons that should be obvious.

So you can't lose, really.

1. No I am not.

Sure you are. You dream about it at night: You're alone together and everyone else is miles away. Your fingers brush, and flesh communicates years worth of pent up desires. Suddenly, it becomes clear that is what you've both wanted all along. Faces turn upward, your gaze meet hers, and then she plucks out your eyes. She plays with them, massages the spheres and then crushes them.
Everything is offered for her, and she whispers into your ear, "I'll kick you in the balls so hard that my foot comes out your mouth." She'll do it too, literally. Her foot is going to come out of your mouth. It will probably be preceded by your digestive organs, stomach intestines, liver all bursting from your mouth in a glorious volcano of blood and gore. Also excrement, because, let's face it, your colon will probably rupture on its way out your mouth. Nothing is ever as elegant as you'd like.
Then she'll strip off her clothes (now sopping wet with blood) and dance naked in your remains. Smears your brains across her breasts. Scribbles poems and pornographic doodles across the wall in your blood. Sucks the marrow from your bones.
Soon you will die, and this moment is beautiful.

2. This is what would happen. I don't want to stop being friends with her.

You my friend, have problems. I mean, look at that thing I just accused you of wanting. That's just sick man, and you still want to hang around her? Problems, man, you've got problems.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Dude, she is going to kick you in the balls. If you really have to be friends with her, then the only thing you can do is take it like a man, but you really should dump her and make new friends.

A 1,000 times this.^

[United Dependencies]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

[Lunatic Goofballs]

There is also that other thing I said. its one or two posts above yours. Flowers, with her, I would say would always make things worse. I don't see her as a "flowers" kind of girl.

If you really want to placate her, go up to her wearing nothing but a bondage collar and a ball gag. Then offer her a riding crop. At this point one of two things can happen:
1. She'll tear into you like Sulieman the Magnificent tore into the Balkans. You're apparently seeking some kind of sadomasochistic romantic relationship with her to put up with this, so that is a good thing.
2. She'll be disgusted and walk away, ending this trainwreck of a relationship. That's also a good thing, for reasons that should be obvious.

So you can't lose, really.

1. No I am not.

Sure you are. You dream about it at night: You're alone together and everyone else is miles away. Your fingers brush, and flesh communicates years worth of pent up desires. Suddenly, it becomes clear that is what you've both wanted all along. Faces turn upward, your gaze meet hers, and then she plucks out your eyes. She plays with them, massages the spheres and then crushes them.
Everything is offered for her, and she whispers into your ear, "I'll kick you in the balls so hard that my foot comes out your mouth." She'll do it too, literally. Her foot is going to come out of your mouth. It will probably be preceded by your digestive organs, stomach intestines, liver all bursting from your mouth in a glorious volcano of blood and gore. Also excrement, because, let's face it, your colon will probably rupture on its way out your mouth. Nothing is ever as elegant as you'd like.
Then she'll strip off her clothes (now sopping wet with blood) and dance naked in your remains. Smears your brains across her breasts. Scribbles poems and pornographic doodles across the wall in your blood. Sucks the marrow from your bones.
Soon you will die, and this moment is beautiful.

2. This is what would happen. I don't want to stop being friends with her.

You my friend, have problems. I mean, look at that thing I just accused you of wanting. That's just sick man, and you still want to hang around her? Problems, man, you've got problems.

You are my sunshine.

[Katganistan]

I have this one friend who I just rub the wrong way. Apperantly, the build up over the years has gotten her to the point where, next time she sees me, she says she is going to kick me in the balls so hard her foot will come out of my mouth. This is clearly not something I am going to enjoy. Seeing as I don't like suprizes of that nature, I agreed to hang out with her this comeing friday. I doubt there is some way I can dissuade her from from kicking me altogeather (i alread was able to convincer not to do it at our other friends halloween party), but if anyone has any advice on how to make it hurt less or trick her into thinking she kicked me when she actualy didn't, that would be apreciated. I've only ever realy been kicked twice befor, and I do not want it to become thrice. Any advice would be apreciated.

Wear a cup.

[XXXnoonXXX]

There is also that other thing I said. its one or two posts above yours. Flowers, with her, I would say would always make things worse. I don't see her as a "flowers" kind of girl.

If you really want to placate her, go up to her wearing nothing but a bondage collar and a ball gag. Then offer her a riding crop. At this point one of two things can happen:
1. She'll tear into you like Sulieman the Magnificent tore into the Balkans. You're apparently seeking some kind of sadomasochistic romantic relationship with her to put up with this, so that is a good thing.
2. She'll be disgusted and walk away, ending this trainwreck of a relationship. That's also a good thing, for reasons that should be obvious.

So you can't lose, really.

1. No I am not.

Sure you are. You dream about it at night: You're alone together and everyone else is miles away. Your fingers brush, and flesh communicates years worth of pent up desires. Suddenly, it becomes clear that is what you've both wanted all along. Faces turn upward, your gaze meet hers, and then she plucks out your eyes. She plays with them, massages the spheres and then crushes them.
Everything is offered for her, and she whispers into your ear, "I'll kick you in the balls so hard that my foot comes out your mouth." She'll do it too, literally. Her foot is going to come out of your mouth. It will probably be preceded by your digestive organs, stomach intestines, liver all bursting from your mouth in a glorious volcano of blood and gore. Also excrement, because, let's face it, your colon will probably rupture on its way out your mouth. Nothing is ever as elegant as you'd like.
Then she'll strip off her clothes (now sopping wet with blood) and dance naked in your remains. Smears your brains across her breasts. Scribbles poems and pornographic doodles across the wall in your blood. Sucks the marrow from your bones.
Soon you will die, and this moment is beautiful.

2. This is what would happen. I don't want to stop being friends with her.

You my friend, have problems. I mean, look at that thing I just accused you of wanting. That's just sick man, and you still want to hang around her? Problems, man, you've got problems.

1. It seems like you want that, not me. I would very much NEVER want something SIMILAR in any way to that to happen to me. You are a sick pervert.

2. How do I have problems with wanting to be friends with someone who would NEVER do that discusting stuff you described? YOUR the one with issues man.

[Katganistan]

I have this one friend who I just rub the wrong way. Apperantly, the build up over the years has gotten her to the point where, next time she sees me, she says she is going to kick me in the balls so hard her foot will come out of my mouth. This is clearly not something I am going to enjoy. Seeing as I don't like suprizes of that nature, I agreed to hang out with her this comeing friday. I doubt there is some way I can dissuade her from from kicking me altogeather (i alread was able to convincer not to do it at our other friends halloween party), but if anyone has any advice on how to make it hurt less or trick her into thinking she kicked me when she actualy didn't, that would be apreciated. I've only ever realy been kicked twice befor, and I do not want it to become thrice. Any advice would be apreciated.

actually it sounds like shes out of line. You need to give her a damn good smack in the mouth to let her know where she stands.

Yep, that solves everything.

You could wear an athletic cup.

I could wear a cup... IF i didnt have a nother friend who said she would kick me in the balls as hard as she could if I ever bought on for that pupose. Im pretty sure this other friend could easily lift me of the ground at half striength kick. A cup is not an option.

1) These are not your friends.
2) They are threatening assault. You have the right to defend yourself against assault, so if they hit you, make sure you hit them so hard they will never want to hit you again...
3) Or wait till they assault you, then swear out charges against them and have them arrested for assault.

[XXXnoonXXX]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

[Null-A Renegades]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

what, her argument that you won't stop her? so duh, prove her wrong and stop her. friends don't kick friends in the balls. friends don't let friends kick friends in the balls. Since they aren't behaving like your friends, don't treat them like your friends. Fight for what is right even at the cost of friendships, it will pay off in the long run, it's called character. If that means using violence, fine. If you go down that road, you better be ready, though. Speed, surprise, and violence are the keys then and that means being the first to escalate to a level assuring the destruction of your opponent and forcing their unconditional capitulation.
And I think we all realize she's not a flowers type of girl... hence the emphasis on being willing to destroy everyone because THEY just don't get it and that's no reason for you to take one in the nuts.

[United Dependencies]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

Please clarify.

[XXXnoonXXX]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

Please clarify.

Befor, in another argument. I told her to kick me. She missed then and it hasn't realy come up sence. Because of the bra thing, she brought it back up as an argument for being able to kick me in the balls. Had she brought it up if the bra thing didn't happen, I would have agreed with her. I did tell her to, granted I never thought she would.

[United Dependencies]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

Please clarify.

Befor, in another argument. I told her to kick me. She missed then and it hasn't realy come up sence. Because of the bra thing, she brought it back up as an argument for being able to kick me in the balls. Had she brought it up if the bra thing didn't happen, I would have agreed with her. I did tell her to, granted I never thought she would.

Oooooook. I no longer can help you. All I can say is this: As a human being you have the right not to be physically harmed in any way. If you really don't think you should be doing this contact the proper authorities and get them to get her to stop. If you think she has the right to give you a kick in the gonads well I reccomnd trying to negotiate it down to like a punch or a sac tap as some people call it. Otherwise just go up to, apologize for what you may have done, and stand and give her the oppurtunity and just take it.

[XXXnoonXXX]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

Please clarify.

Befor, in another argument. I told her to kick me. She missed then and it hasn't realy come up sence. Because of the bra thing, she brought it back up as an argument for being able to kick me in the balls. Had she brought it up if the bra thing didn't happen, I would have agreed with her. I did tell her to, granted I never thought she would.

Oooooook. I no longer can help you. All I can say is this: As a human being you have the right not to be physically harmed in any way. If you really don't think you should be doing this contact the proper authorities and get them to get her to stop. If you think she has the right to give you a kick in the gonads well I reccomnd trying to negotiate it down to like a punch or a sac tap as some people call it. Otherwise just go up to, apologize for what you may have done, and stand and give her the oppurtunity and just take it.

I don't think I have anything to apologize for.

[Katganistan]

My advice:
Take it. Get it over with. Get up.

My better advice:

Realize these losers aren't your friends, call the police/tell an adult, get those who've earned it arrested, get new friends, reproduce, prosper.

This kind of thing is exeedingly rare among my friends. From what I here, its pretty much the same with every version of my friend-group i've encountered. Its not common but it happens.

Guess what?
None of my friends have ever physically assaulted me. None of my friends have ever threatened to physically assault me. And I bet I am at least twice if not three times your age.

Lose these losers.

[Null-A Renegades]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

Please clarify.

Befor, in another argument. I told her to kick me. She missed then and it hasn't realy come up sence. Because of the bra thing, she brought it back up as an argument for being able to kick me in the balls. Had she brought it up if the bra thing didn't happen, I would have agreed with her. I did tell her to, granted I never thought she would.

Well telling someone to do it once doesn't give them license to do it at any later time if they fucked it up the first time! That's like saying that just because Sally told Tim to have sex with her one time he can now do it later whenever she looks hot. Also, never do that again, it's a stupid thing to do. She is wrong, so are your "friends" and your whole group needs some help. Can't you see they're just jackasses who want to see someone get kicked in the nuts?

[United Dependencies]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

Please clarify.

Befor, in another argument. I told her to kick me. She missed then and it hasn't realy come up sence. Because of the bra thing, she brought it back up as an argument for being able to kick me in the balls. Had she brought it up if the bra thing didn't happen, I would have agreed with her. I did tell her to, granted I never thought she would.

Oooooook. I no longer can help you. All I can say is this: As a human being you have the right not to be physically harmed in any way. If you really don't think you should be doing this contact the proper authorities and get them to get her to stop. If you think she has the right to give you a kick in the gonads well I reccomnd trying to negotiate it down to like a punch or a sac tap as some people call it. Otherwise just go up to, apologize for what you may have done, and stand and give her the oppurtunity and just take it.

I don't think I have anything to apologize for.

It never hurts... apologizing that is.

edit:and honestly for your own safety I really do urge you to just not let her do this. Please. At least for those of us on this site who care for the well being of total strangers your health and well being..

[XXXnoonXXX]

so let me get this straight. Either you think you are right but that you will take the punishment anyway or you think you are right but you also think she is right?

I think I am right about her reason for kicking me. I think her argument behind why she is able to (wich is I told her I could befor) is just valid enough.

Ok. If you think you are right why does it matter what she is able to do?

Because even if the bra thing hadn't happened, her argument is still valid (enough).

Please clarify.

Befor, in another argument. I told her to kick me. She missed then and it hasn't realy come up sence. Because of the bra thing, she brought it back up as an argument for being able to kick me in the balls. Had she brought it up if the bra thing didn't happen, I would have agreed with her. I did tell her to, granted I never thought she would.

Oooooook. I no longer can help you. All I can say is this: As a human being you have the right not to be physically harmed in any way. If you really don't think you should be doing this contact the proper authorities and get them to get her to stop. If you think she has the right to give you a kick in the gonads well I reccomnd trying to negotiate it down to like a punch or a sac tap as some people call it. Otherwise just go up to, apologize for what you may have done, and stand and give her the oppurtunity and just take it.

I don't think I have anything to apologize for.

It never hurts... apologizing that is.

I only apologize if I think I have something to apologize for.

[H N Fiddlebottoms VIII]

1. It seems like you want that, not me. I would very much NEVER want something SIMILAR in any way to that to happen to me. You are a sick pervert.

2. How do I have problems with wanting to be friends with someone who would NEVER do that discusting stuff you described? YOUR the one with issues man.

1. Denial is more than just a river in Egypt.

2. We have such sights to show you, man.

[United Dependencies]

check my edit.

[XXXnoonXXX]

check my edit.

Im pretty sure I got enough advice on how to fake it so that I doesn't acctualy happen.

[United Dependencies]

check my edit.

Im pretty sure I got enough advice on how to fake it so that I doesn't acctualy happen.

Very well if that is what you think will work. Good luck to you.