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Paradox Games IX: Kinkshame That Poor Goat

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Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 66452
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Genivaria » Tue Mar 03, 2020 7:55 pm

So I discovered that if you give the territory of the US to Canada/British North America before completing the process of Federation you can actually gain cores on all of the US.

So I'm on my way to doing just that.
Liberal Social Democrat. Vague leftist, growing more cynical as each day passes.
The DNC is better than the GOP like Manslaughter is better than Murder: Seems like a lesser crime, but the victim can't tell the difference.

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North German Realm
Senator
 
Posts: 4494
Founded: Jan 27, 2019
Left-Leaning College State

Postby North German Realm » Tue Mar 03, 2020 10:42 pm

Danubian Peoples wrote:
Aw geez... Y'know what, these dev diaries for Screw Me 3 are really getting my hopes up. Screw Me 2 is already great at making you feel terrible, Screw Me 3 is going to up the ante insn't it?

In case it isn't obvious which game I'm talking about, I'm talking about Crusader Kings 2. And boy did I drop the ball last game. You don't need to know the specifics, just that I played, Iron Century Georgia and was having a nice time, only for a whack to the head, adventurers and Abbasids to f'ing penetrate me wherever. And that's not a sexual euphemism. Now the game is where it belongs, with me, in the garbage. Becasue only garbage people fail at something that bad. And the worst part is it wasn't even my fault. That's the stupidest darned thing about this game. Nothing is ever your fault. One day your fabricating claims for 7 or so years and the next you've RNG'd yourself Alexander's bloodline, rolled a nat20 on your eugenics program, and the local hostile blob has embroiled itself in civil war. CK2 feels, to be frank, out of control. I mean I got clobbered in the head so hard it gave me permanent brain damage in this one game-twice. Not to mention the brain-dead Byzantine AI going as limp as limp can get whenever the Abbasids come a knocking, but when I do the reverse, all of Persia comes pouring down. Not to mention the ludicrous amounts of raiders that come pouring out of the steppe. It is just stupid. There is at least 1 army of random Khazars seiging down my lands at any given time. And then of them come out of the mountains, while your head is sunken and then the Abbasids take Azerbajan. Maybe I should just clobber myself IRL too. And actually, no, that is not even the worst part. The worst part is this feels like I'm coming off as a whiny b***, and as such I'm just supposed to 'git gud.' Otherwise I'm being an entitled brat. Now I know that ain't true but it feels like this. Ranting about my less than favored experiences in games is cathartic, but it also feels kinda, humiliating I guess.

TL:DR, I'm the biggest retard in all the land.

I'd like to ask you guys how you keep yourselves sane playing PDX games. Many of them feel like 'tear-your-hair-out' experiences sometimes. And while that is one thing, another thing is doing awesome stuff. Conquering the map, getting an absurdly high number of something, surmounting challenges as dirt-poor playables, you know what I mean. Because right now I feel far from that ideal.

In the particular case of CKII, this is even more true because your character might just fucking die while you're in the middle of something. I'd say strategic saving is your friend, but honestly it normally isn't.
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North German Confederation
NationStates Flag Bracket II - 6th place!

Norddeutscher Bund
Homepage || Overview | Sovereign | Chancellor | Military | Legislature || The World
5 Nov, 2020
Die Morgenpost: "We will reconsider our relationship with Poland" Reichskanzler Lagenmauer says after Polish president protested North German ultimatum that made them restore reproductive freedom. | European Society votes not to persecute Hungary for atrocities committed against Serbs, "Giving a rogue state leave to commit genocide as it sees fit." North German delegate bemoans. | Negotiations still underway in Rome, delegates arguing over the extent of indemnities Turkey might be made to pay, lawful status of Turkish collaborators during occupation of Azerbaijan, Cyprus, Syria.

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Holy Tedalonia
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11505
Founded: Nov 14, 2016
Moralistic Democracy

Postby Holy Tedalonia » Tue Mar 03, 2020 11:27 pm

Played four fascists campaigns of Britain today. All went to shit. First round I gambled to much and started a civil war due to stability. Became so weak from it I decided to reboot. Second two, went better, but ended up getting in world wars before uniting all the dominions and colonies. Last one I decided, "fuck it. I'm god damn done tryin' to unite all these nerfhurtin' dominions and colonies," and chose to go imperial federation before anything else.

Was a huge success, and I got all the dominions to agree. While I was waiting I figured on taking done hitler, before he got to strong. Eventually the autonomy lowered and all that was left was India to lower. Mere seconds before I was going to start the imperial federation choice after checking to see all the colonies were integrated puppets, I see this goddamn message, "India calls you to arms." I pan over to India to see it in a civil war with communists, independent, and fighting off the comintern.

Easy to say I was pissed. After all I spent the majority of my national focuses spamming imperial federation choices, none of my decisions could have prevented it (even when it's autonomy was down to a puppet), and it being the fourth attempt.
Name: Ted
Ideology: Capitalism
Political Compass: Social Libertarian for some reason. I honestly don't know why it placed me there.
Race: Vampire
Political Side: none anymore. Do you think I want to associate with anyone in politics? No I think on my own terms now (not happy? Fine I'll have some stuff for you to judge.
Electoral College Reforms: Standardized voting across the nation, Ranked Choice Voting, and Removal of Gerrymandering.
Student Loan/Free College: Copy Australias homework of the Higher Education Contribution Scheme (HECS)
Favorite Senator: Ted Cruz (Ted's have to help out Ted's)
Status: Healthy and as strong as a starved ox
I M P E R I A LR E P U B L I C

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North German Realm
Senator
 
Posts: 4494
Founded: Jan 27, 2019
Left-Leaning College State

Postby North German Realm » Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:34 am

North German Realm wrote:Starting yet another 867 Scania run. I'm hoping that this time I can have three bloodlines with one character: Duelist, Sea King, Ambition (hoping to hit a 15 foreign wars bloodline, but idk yet). Won't get the Legend Bloodline until like, my 5th or 7th character so I can form my own bloodlines first.
While I work on getting the Sea King bloodline at the ripe age of 82 (hoping to get duelist too sometime soon), let's see what everyone else is doing. Sweden is ruled by the pagan High Chief of Lithuania... seems legit. Byzantine Empire inherited all of Italy, sure. Norway controls Poland and Pomerania? Sure why not. Coastal France is under control of Norse conquerers and the rest of it has mingsploded... ok. And then there's this reverse Northern Crusade going on in Britain.
Last edited by North German Realm on Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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North German Confederation
NationStates Flag Bracket II - 6th place!

Norddeutscher Bund
Homepage || Overview | Sovereign | Chancellor | Military | Legislature || The World
5 Nov, 2020
Die Morgenpost: "We will reconsider our relationship with Poland" Reichskanzler Lagenmauer says after Polish president protested North German ultimatum that made them restore reproductive freedom. | European Society votes not to persecute Hungary for atrocities committed against Serbs, "Giving a rogue state leave to commit genocide as it sees fit." North German delegate bemoans. | Negotiations still underway in Rome, delegates arguing over the extent of indemnities Turkey might be made to pay, lawful status of Turkish collaborators during occupation of Azerbaijan, Cyprus, Syria.

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The Huskar Social Union
Post Czar
 
Posts: 47072
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:22 am

Image

tfw you have no life

Image
Im Irish and live in Belfast Im a Leftwinger and im an Atheist

‘I never thought in terms of being a leader. I thought very simply in terms of helping people’ - John Hume

I like: The Red Agenda, video games, Not being a Wanker, Art, History, Blondes, Redheads, English Brunettes, Fortifications, Old Gregg, Tanks
I Dislike: The Blue Agenda, Being a Wanker, Gatekeeping, Likes and Dislikes lists, Dismantling Fortifications, Zealots, People who dont like Tanks

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The Huskar Social Union
Post Czar
 
Posts: 47072
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:21 am

I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.
Im Irish and live in Belfast Im a Leftwinger and im an Atheist

‘I never thought in terms of being a leader. I thought very simply in terms of helping people’ - John Hume

I like: The Red Agenda, video games, Not being a Wanker, Art, History, Blondes, Redheads, English Brunettes, Fortifications, Old Gregg, Tanks
I Dislike: The Blue Agenda, Being a Wanker, Gatekeeping, Likes and Dislikes lists, Dismantling Fortifications, Zealots, People who dont like Tanks

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Bralia
Post Czar
 
Posts: 30231
Founded: Mar 07, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Bralia » Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:44 am

The Huskar Social Union wrote:I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.

I suggest making preparations for your next ruler, you have a week at most to live.
Romantic slut. Self-deprecating egotist. Benevolent communist.

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The Huskar Social Union
Post Czar
 
Posts: 47072
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:54 am

Monarch Challenge for Brittany Completed, turned out i wasnt able to complete the Time Bending challenge because the Templars owned some castles, so i kicked them out.
Bralia wrote:
The Huskar Social Union wrote:I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.

I suggest making preparations for your next ruler, you have a week at most to live.

I cured it by having my hand cut off. Because that works apparently.


Just like that time as my current characters great grandfather when i had gout cured by getting an eye cut out.
Im Irish and live in Belfast Im a Leftwinger and im an Atheist

‘I never thought in terms of being a leader. I thought very simply in terms of helping people’ - John Hume

I like: The Red Agenda, video games, Not being a Wanker, Art, History, Blondes, Redheads, English Brunettes, Fortifications, Old Gregg, Tanks
I Dislike: The Blue Agenda, Being a Wanker, Gatekeeping, Likes and Dislikes lists, Dismantling Fortifications, Zealots, People who dont like Tanks

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North German Realm
Senator
 
Posts: 4494
Founded: Jan 27, 2019
Left-Leaning College State

Postby North German Realm » Wed Mar 04, 2020 4:11 am

The Huskar Social Union wrote:I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.

It's considerably less common than other non-epidemic diseases. I think I've lost like, 3 leaders to rabies in all my years of playing CK2
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North German Confederation
NationStates Flag Bracket II - 6th place!

Norddeutscher Bund
Homepage || Overview | Sovereign | Chancellor | Military | Legislature || The World
5 Nov, 2020
Die Morgenpost: "We will reconsider our relationship with Poland" Reichskanzler Lagenmauer says after Polish president protested North German ultimatum that made them restore reproductive freedom. | European Society votes not to persecute Hungary for atrocities committed against Serbs, "Giving a rogue state leave to commit genocide as it sees fit." North German delegate bemoans. | Negotiations still underway in Rome, delegates arguing over the extent of indemnities Turkey might be made to pay, lawful status of Turkish collaborators during occupation of Azerbaijan, Cyprus, Syria.

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Bralia
Post Czar
 
Posts: 30231
Founded: Mar 07, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Bralia » Wed Mar 04, 2020 8:03 am

Romantic slut. Self-deprecating egotist. Benevolent communist.

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Holy Tedalonia
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11505
Founded: Nov 14, 2016
Moralistic Democracy

Postby Holy Tedalonia » Wed Mar 04, 2020 8:26 am

The Huskar Social Union wrote:(Image)

tfw you have no life

(Image)

Hold my Wine peasant, Im about to end this mans reign.

Image
Name: Ted
Ideology: Capitalism
Political Compass: Social Libertarian for some reason. I honestly don't know why it placed me there.
Race: Vampire
Political Side: none anymore. Do you think I want to associate with anyone in politics? No I think on my own terms now (not happy? Fine I'll have some stuff for you to judge.
Electoral College Reforms: Standardized voting across the nation, Ranked Choice Voting, and Removal of Gerrymandering.
Student Loan/Free College: Copy Australias homework of the Higher Education Contribution Scheme (HECS)
Favorite Senator: Ted Cruz (Ted's have to help out Ted's)
Status: Healthy and as strong as a starved ox
I M P E R I A LR E P U B L I C

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North German Realm
Senator
 
Posts: 4494
Founded: Jan 27, 2019
Left-Leaning College State

Postby North German Realm » Wed Mar 04, 2020 10:14 am

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North German Confederation
NationStates Flag Bracket II - 6th place!

Norddeutscher Bund
Homepage || Overview | Sovereign | Chancellor | Military | Legislature || The World
5 Nov, 2020
Die Morgenpost: "We will reconsider our relationship with Poland" Reichskanzler Lagenmauer says after Polish president protested North German ultimatum that made them restore reproductive freedom. | European Society votes not to persecute Hungary for atrocities committed against Serbs, "Giving a rogue state leave to commit genocide as it sees fit." North German delegate bemoans. | Negotiations still underway in Rome, delegates arguing over the extent of indemnities Turkey might be made to pay, lawful status of Turkish collaborators during occupation of Azerbaijan, Cyprus, Syria.

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Lunas Legion
Post Czar
 
Posts: 30224
Founded: Jan 21, 2013
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Lunas Legion » Wed Mar 04, 2020 10:16 am



He took one province, he won't last long.
Last edited by William Slim Wed Dec 14 1970 10:35 pm, edited 35 times in total.

Confirmed member of Kyloominati, Destroyers of Worlds Membership can be applied for here

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Ithalian Empire
Minister
 
Posts: 3391
Founded: Jan 19, 2015
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ithalian Empire » Wed Mar 04, 2020 10:19 am

Lunas Legion wrote:


He took one province, he won't last long.


Or some how he will form the Outremer, CK2 does funny things like that.
Eat ,Drink, and be mary, for tomorrow we die.
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North German Realm
Senator
 
Posts: 4494
Founded: Jan 27, 2019
Left-Leaning College State

Postby North German Realm » Wed Mar 04, 2020 10:41 am

Lunas Legion wrote:


He took one province, he won't last long.

Most of his neighbors are equally small. If he succeeds in conquering the rest of his de jure duchy (Which he should) he'll have a chance.
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North German Confederation
NationStates Flag Bracket II - 6th place!

Norddeutscher Bund
Homepage || Overview | Sovereign | Chancellor | Military | Legislature || The World
5 Nov, 2020
Die Morgenpost: "We will reconsider our relationship with Poland" Reichskanzler Lagenmauer says after Polish president protested North German ultimatum that made them restore reproductive freedom. | European Society votes not to persecute Hungary for atrocities committed against Serbs, "Giving a rogue state leave to commit genocide as it sees fit." North German delegate bemoans. | Negotiations still underway in Rome, delegates arguing over the extent of indemnities Turkey might be made to pay, lawful status of Turkish collaborators during occupation of Azerbaijan, Cyprus, Syria.

User avatar
Grenartia
Post Czar
 
Posts: 42596
Founded: Feb 14, 2010
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Grenartia » Wed Mar 04, 2020 11:11 am



"when he was merely a child". Bruh, its only been a month since then, and he's got enough of a beard that he's a candidate for ZZ Top.
Impeach Humanity, Legalize Death Stars, Life is TheftWis/Gren 2016 Something all cisgender allies should start doing. I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith. ⚧Copy and paste this in your sig if you passed biology and know gender and sex aren't the same thing.⚧
"Don't take life so serious. It isn't permanent."-Dyakovo
I'm a pansexual Androgyne. Also a Christian.
Please use they/them/their when referencing me, as I do NOT appreciate the other pronouns.
Textbook definition of irony
Quotes of awesomeness

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The Huskar Social Union
Post Czar
 
Posts: 47072
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Wed Mar 04, 2020 11:32 am

Holy Tedalonia wrote:
The Huskar Social Union wrote:(Image)

tfw you have no life

(Image)

Hold my Wine peasant, Im about to end this mans reign.

Image

ABSOLUTELY ROYAL
Im Irish and live in Belfast Im a Leftwinger and im an Atheist

‘I never thought in terms of being a leader. I thought very simply in terms of helping people’ - John Hume

I like: The Red Agenda, video games, Not being a Wanker, Art, History, Blondes, Redheads, English Brunettes, Fortifications, Old Gregg, Tanks
I Dislike: The Blue Agenda, Being a Wanker, Gatekeeping, Likes and Dislikes lists, Dismantling Fortifications, Zealots, People who dont like Tanks

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Ifreann
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 142636
Founded: Aug 07, 2005
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Ifreann » Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:10 pm

Elections? Where we're going we won't need elections.
ImageImageImageImage
Mistake Not My Current State Of Regular Thorough Handwashing For The Awesome And Terrible Majesty Of The Towering Seas Of Mask Wearing That Are Themselves The Mere Milquetoast Shallows Fringing My Vast Oceans Of Social Distancing
He/Him

You've got a lonesome road to walk, and it ain't along the railroad track, and it ain't along the black-top tar you walked a hundred times before.
I'll tell you where the real road lies: between your ears, behind your eyes. That is the path to paradise, likewise the road to ruin.

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Danubian Peoples
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1012
Founded: Sep 21, 2018
New York Times Democracy

Postby Danubian Peoples » Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:29 pm

Ifreann wrote:Elections? Where we're going we won't need elections.
([url=https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ESSRP4WXUAYEedY?format=png&name=240x240]Image)(Image)(Image)(Image)[/url]

Now I'm just imagining political debates that are less debates and more lightsaber duels from Star Wars. Whether that's referring to Psionic Battle or Arena Combat is up to you.
NS stats are not used.
This nation does not reflect my IRL views on anything.

Valdez Islands is my puppet.

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Ifreann
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 142636
Founded: Aug 07, 2005
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Ifreann » Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:33 pm

Danubian Peoples wrote:
Ifreann wrote:Elections? Where we're going we won't need elections.
([url=https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ESSRP4WXUAYEedY?format=png&name=240x240]Image)(Image)(Image)(Image)[/url]

Now I'm just imagining political debates that are less debates and more lightsaber duels from Star Wars. Whether that's referring to Psionic Battle or Arena Combat is up to you.

Psionic Battle obviously involves people sitting quietly in a big circle and then one by one their heads explode.
Mistake Not My Current State Of Regular Thorough Handwashing For The Awesome And Terrible Majesty Of The Towering Seas Of Mask Wearing That Are Themselves The Mere Milquetoast Shallows Fringing My Vast Oceans Of Social Distancing
He/Him

You've got a lonesome road to walk, and it ain't along the railroad track, and it ain't along the black-top tar you walked a hundred times before.
I'll tell you where the real road lies: between your ears, behind your eyes. That is the path to paradise, likewise the road to ruin.

User avatar
Grenartia
Post Czar
 
Posts: 42596
Founded: Feb 14, 2010
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Grenartia » Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:45 pm

Ifreann wrote:
Danubian Peoples wrote:Now I'm just imagining political debates that are less debates and more lightsaber duels from Star Wars. Whether that's referring to Psionic Battle or Arena Combat is up to you.

Psionic Battle obviously involves people sitting quietly in a big circle and then one by one their heads explode.


Ah, yes. Brain popcorn.
Impeach Humanity, Legalize Death Stars, Life is TheftWis/Gren 2016 Something all cisgender allies should start doing. I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith. ⚧Copy and paste this in your sig if you passed biology and know gender and sex aren't the same thing.⚧
"Don't take life so serious. It isn't permanent."-Dyakovo
I'm a pansexual Androgyne. Also a Christian.
Please use they/them/their when referencing me, as I do NOT appreciate the other pronouns.
Textbook definition of irony
Quotes of awesomeness

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Licana
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 16274
Founded: Jul 26, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Licana » Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:06 pm

tbh thesis defense is the one that gets me the most as I imagine it to be a bunch of people submitting thousand-page long buzzword papers about how great they are and then initiating loquacious shitposting at each other until all but one person runs out of big words.
Last edited by Licana on Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
>American education
[19:21] <Lubyak> I want to go and wank all over him.
Puzikas wrote:Gulf War One was like Slapstick: The War. Except, you know, up to 40,000 people died.

Vitaphone Racing wrote:Never in all my years have I seen someone actually quote the dictionary and still get the definition wrong.

Husseinarti wrote:
Vitaphone Racing wrote:Do lets. I really want to hear another explanation about dirty vaginas keeping women out of combat, despite the vagina being a self-cleaning organ.

So was the M-16.

Senestrum wrote:How are KEPs cowardly? Surely the "real man" would in fact be the one firing giant rods of nuclear waste at speeds best described as "hilarious".

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Dome Artan
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 137
Founded: Dec 11, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Dome Artan » Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:07 pm

And I thought my 500 hours in CK2 was impressive :blink:
The Union of Democratic States WA Delegate
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Holy Tedalonia
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11505
Founded: Nov 14, 2016
Moralistic Democracy

Postby Holy Tedalonia » Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:10 pm

Dome Artan wrote:And I thought my 500 hours in CK2 was impressive :blink:

I don't play as much as I used to, but low key it was the only game I would play for about a year.
Name: Ted
Ideology: Capitalism
Political Compass: Social Libertarian for some reason. I honestly don't know why it placed me there.
Race: Vampire
Political Side: none anymore. Do you think I want to associate with anyone in politics? No I think on my own terms now (not happy? Fine I'll have some stuff for you to judge.
Electoral College Reforms: Standardized voting across the nation, Ranked Choice Voting, and Removal of Gerrymandering.
Student Loan/Free College: Copy Australias homework of the Higher Education Contribution Scheme (HECS)
Favorite Senator: Ted Cruz (Ted's have to help out Ted's)
Status: Healthy and as strong as a starved ox
I M P E R I A LR E P U B L I C

User avatar
The Imperial Reach
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1954
Founded: Jun 22, 2018
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Imperial Reach » Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:26 pm

Holy Tedalonia wrote:
The Huskar Social Union wrote:(Image)

tfw you have no life

(Image)

Hold my Wine peasant, Im about to end this mans reign.

Image


Meh. I ain't impressed.

You're only like 2 days and 18 hours ahead of me.
Last edited by The Imperial Reach on Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Impaled Nazarene wrote:
The Imperial Reach wrote:I've encountered this event maybe 4 times and I've never lost - not even once. Even the one time when I had no skill-related options, I still won.

Stop giving me more reasons to hate you
In the process of a massive retcon, like, massive
NS stats are the Devil's lettuce
I'm too lazy to make cool for a fancy sig

My F7 Policy

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