PDX Games IX: Western Pre-Turkic Empire

[Genivaria]

So I discovered that if you give the territory of the US to Canada/British North America before completing the process of Federation you can actually gain cores on all of the US.

So I'm on my way to doing just that.

[North German Realm]

Aw geez... Y'know what, these dev diaries for Screw Me 3 are really getting my hopes up. Screw Me 2 is already great at making you feel terrible, Screw Me 3 is going to up the ante insn't it?

In case it isn't obvious which game I'm talking about, I'm talking about Crusader Kings 2. And boy did I drop the ball last game. You don't need to know the specifics, just that I played, Iron Century Georgia and was having a nice time, only for a whack to the head, adventurers and Abbasids to f'ing penetrate me wherever. And that's not a sexual euphemism. Now the game is where it belongs, with me, in the garbage. Becasue only garbage people fail at something that bad. And the worst part is it wasn't even my fault. That's the stupidest darned thing about this game. Nothing is ever your fault. One day your fabricating claims for 7 or so years and the next you've RNG'd yourself Alexander's bloodline, rolled a nat20 on your eugenics program, and the local hostile blob has embroiled itself in civil war. CK2 feels, to be frank, out of control. I mean I got clobbered in the head so hard it gave me permanent brain damage in this one game-twice. Not to mention the brain-dead Byzantine AI going as limp as limp can get whenever the Abbasids come a knocking, but when I do the reverse, all of Persia comes pouring down. Not to mention the ludicrous amounts of raiders that come pouring out of the steppe. It is just stupid. There is at least 1 army of random Khazars seiging down my lands at any given time. And then of them come out of the mountains, while your head is sunken and then the Abbasids take Azerbajan. Maybe I should just clobber myself IRL too. And actually, no, that is not even the worst part. The worst part is this feels like I'm coming off as a whiny b***, and as such I'm just supposed to 'git gud.' Otherwise I'm being an entitled brat. Now I know that ain't true but it feels like this. Ranting about my less than favored experiences in games is cathartic, but it also feels kinda, humiliating I guess.

TL:DR, I'm the biggest retard in all the land.

I'd like to ask you guys how you keep yourselves sane playing PDX games. Many of them feel like 'tear-your-hair-out' experiences sometimes. And while that is one thing, another thing is doing awesome stuff. Conquering the map, getting an absurdly high number of something, surmounting challenges as dirt-poor playables, you know what I mean. Because right now I feel far from that ideal.

In the particular case of CKII, this is even more true because your character might just fucking die while you're in the middle of something. I'd say strategic saving is your friend, but honestly it normally isn't.

[Holy Tedalonia]

Played four fascists campaigns of Britain today. All went to shit. First round I gambled to much and started a civil war due to stability. Became so weak from it I decided to reboot. Second two, went better, but ended up getting in world wars before uniting all the dominions and colonies. Last one I decided, "fuck it. I'm god damn done tryin' to unite all these nerfhurtin' dominions and colonies," and chose to go imperial federation before anything else.

Was a huge success, and I got all the dominions to agree. While I was waiting I figured on taking done hitler, before he got to strong. Eventually the autonomy lowered and all that was left was India to lower. Mere seconds before I was going to start the imperial federation choice after checking to see all the colonies were integrated puppets, I see this goddamn message, "India calls you to arms." I pan over to India to see it in a civil war with communists, independent, and fighting off the comintern.

Easy to say I was pissed. After all I spent the majority of my national focuses spamming imperial federation choices, none of my decisions could have prevented it (even when it's autonomy was down to a puppet), and it being the fourth attempt.

[North German Realm]

Starting yet another 867 Scania run. I'm hoping that this time I can have three bloodlines with one character: Duelist, Sea King, Ambition (hoping to hit a 15 foreign wars bloodline, but idk yet). Won't get the Legend Bloodline until like, my 5th or 7th character so I can form my own bloodlines first.

While I work on getting the Sea King bloodline at the ripe age of 82 (hoping to get duelist too sometime soon), let's see what everyone else is doing. Sweden is ruled by the pagan High Chief of Lithuania... seems legit. Byzantine Empire inherited all of Italy, sure. Norway controls Poland and Pomerania? Sure why not. Coastal France is under control of Norse conquerers and the rest of it has mingsploded... ok. And then there's this reverse Northern Crusade going on in Britain.

[The Huskar Social Union]

tfw you have no life

[The Huskar Social Union]

I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.

[Bralia]

I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.

I suggest making preparations for your next ruler, you have a week at most to live.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Monarch Challenge for Brittany Completed, turned out i wasnt able to complete the Time Bending challenge because the Templars owned some castles, so i kicked them out.

I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.

I suggest making preparations for your next ruler, you have a week at most to live.

I cured it by having my hand cut off. Because that works apparently.


Just like that time as my current characters great grandfather when i had gout cured by getting an eye cut out.

[North German Realm]

I just got rabies in ck2. I didnt even know that was in the game.

It's considerably less common than other non-epidemic diseases. I think I've lost like, 3 leaders to rabies in all my years of playing CK2

[Bralia]

The popularity of HoI4 is just getting better and better, there were more active users than ever before when LaR dropped.

[Holy Tedalonia]

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tfw you have no life

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Hold my Wine peasant, Im about to end this mans reign.

[North German Realm]

So guess who just won the Children's Crusade :^)

[Lunas Legion]

So guess who just won the Children's Crusade :^)

He took one province, he won't last long.

[Ithalian Empire]

So guess who just won the Children's Crusade :^)

He took one province, he won't last long.

Or some how he will form the Outremer, CK2 does funny things like that.

[North German Realm]

So guess who just won the Children's Crusade :^)

He took one province, he won't last long.

Most of his neighbors are equally small. If he succeeds in conquering the rest of his de jure duchy (Which he should) he'll have a chance.

[Grenartia]

So guess who just won the Children's Crusade :^)

"when he was merely a child". Bruh, its only been a month since then, and he's got enough of a beard that he's a candidate for ZZ Top.

[The Huskar Social Union]

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tfw you have no life

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Hold my Wine peasant, Im about to end this mans reign.

ABSOLUTELY ROYAL

[Ifreann]

Elections? Where we're going we won't need elections.

[Danubian Peoples]

Elections? Where we're going we won't need elections.
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Now I'm just imagining political debates that are less debates and more lightsaber duels from Star Wars. Whether that's referring to Psionic Battle or Arena Combat is up to you.

[Ifreann]

Elections? Where we're going we won't need elections.
([url=https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ESSRP4WXUAYEedY?format=png&name=240x240]Image)(Image)(Image)(Image)[/url]

Now I'm just imagining political debates that are less debates and more lightsaber duels from Star Wars. Whether that's referring to Psionic Battle or Arena Combat is up to you.

Psionic Battle obviously involves people sitting quietly in a big circle and then one by one their heads explode.

[Grenartia]

Now I'm just imagining political debates that are less debates and more lightsaber duels from Star Wars. Whether that's referring to Psionic Battle or Arena Combat is up to you.

Psionic Battle obviously involves people sitting quietly in a big circle and then one by one their heads explode.

Ah, yes. Brain popcorn.

[Licana]

tbh thesis defense is the one that gets me the most as I imagine it to be a bunch of people submitting thousand-page long buzzword papers about how great they are and then initiating loquacious shitposting at each other until all but one person runs out of big words.

[Dome Artan]

And I thought my 500 hours in CK2 was impressive

[Holy Tedalonia]

And I thought my 500 hours in CK2 was impressive

I don't play as much as I used to, but low key it was the only game I would play for about a year.

[The Imperial Reach]

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tfw you have no life

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Hold my Wine peasant, Im about to end this mans reign.

Meh. I ain't impressed.

You're only like 2 days and 18 hours ahead of me.