NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[The Candy Of Bottles]

One of my puppets (Cain B A-Cp v0) has just received issue #1511. Here is the text of the issue. I have left personal names unchanged, except for the name of the national Leader. Inspection of the HTML reveals no missing options.

Three Little Words

The Issue

You have been asked to take a searing political interview for Alright! magazine. After questions about your favourite crisp flavour, your most used emoji and whether you prefer long walks on the beach or brisk walks in the city, you reach the final question: “In three words, how do you think others describe you?”

The Debate

1. Your devoted secretary grins broadly, exposing his ‘I Heart @@LEADER@@’ novelty braces. Fixing you a warm drink, he whispers, “Drop dead gorgeous.”

2. Your sister, here to deposit pamphlets about her latest good causes, smiles imploringly. Nudging forward a brochure of a tiny child holding out his empty bowl, she sighs, “So very generous.”

3. Minister of Bootstraps Sun Payne throws your sister’s pamphlets off the table and drops a spending review entitled ‘Cutting Welfare Wastage’ before you, rapping it. After a cough, she booms, “Exceptional financial prudence.”

4. A woman with three surprisingly well-fed cats in a shopping trolley staggers into your room, coughing up hairballs. Floating up to your desk, she picks up the spending review and places it gently beneath the cats. After staring wide-eyed at your unfinished profile, she laughs loudly. “Kind to animals.”

5. Environment Minister Beyonce Warner removes the spending review from the shopping trolley and places it in the recycling. Dramatically sweeping some crumbs from your desk for composting, she announces, “Clean, green machine.”

6. Your niece — recently kicked out of a closed religious order for being overly zealous — totters over to you, bedecked in so much religious iconography that she can barely move. Lips clamped at the sides, she declares, “Perfectly pious person.”

7. Your actor nephew stylishly slides through the speakers, before gently taking the hand of the lady with the trolley and twirling her. Skipping to your desk, he hops onto it, and singsongs, “Nah, I’m good.”

8. Flinging your nephew from the desk, your brother slams his hands down. Crushing the interview questions beneath his fist, he snarls, “Just three words? That’s not possible. You’re their leader. You need permission? Of course not! You’re too benevolent. They mock it. Punish their impudence. Write fifty pages. Fill the magazine. You deserve it. Send a message: playtime is over.”

Issue by The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

Edited by Electrum

Just received this issue sans the listed option 6.

[Trotterdam]

Considering your nation's religiousness, that's not a big surprise.

Though it does make me wonder if any of the other options have validities, like can you still get option 5 if you have a terrible environment?

I feel that most of the options (at least 2-6) sound more like the speakers are saying what they want you to be like than what they actually think you're like, so they wouldn't really make sense on nations that don't already have the properties in question.

[Dexterra]

Issue #1512: The Door’s Unlocked, Let Yourself In...

The Issue

Two months ago, heinous criminal Ayla Ho was convicted of sexually assaulting, murdering, and dismembering innocent victim Florin Pelosi, in a case that shocked the nation and revealed an evil and remorseless woman who went to prison spitting defiance. Three days ago she was found beaten to death in her cell, and subsequent investigations have suggested that prison staff may have looked the other way while violent fellow inmates inflicted their own brand of justice.

The Debate

1. “I didn’t shed many tears for my client, I must admit,” opens the deceased’s former lawyer, who received numerous death threats after spirited attempts at the Sisyphean task of defending Ho. “However, I am shedding tears aplenty for the criminal justice system, and for the quality of our correctional institutions. Even convicts have human rights, and every one of them is a ward of the state. Obviously the ones who conspired to commit this murder should be found and convicted, but that’s not enough! We also need to pass prison reforms to create more safeguards, to reward and encourage whistleblowing on prison corruption, and to protect the health, anonymity and wellbeing of every inmate, no matter what they’ve done.”

2. “A lot of us have families, you know, and Ho walked in here boasting of what she had done, describing her actions in horrifying detail,” points out Penitentiary Director Ksenya Warner, washing dried blood from a set of brass knuckles. “I’m not saying I condone these actions, and of course we’ll be cooperating with the investigation to find out what happened, but passions were running high, and I think those responsible should be shown some leniency. If you want to make prisons better places, then just raise the salaries of corrections officers. They’re doing one of the hardest and most thankless jobs in the world, and it would help us recruit higher quality candidates to keep an eye on things.”

3. “I’m going to say what everyone is thinking: she got what she deserved!” rants opinionated talk radio host Alec Mones from the too-loud stereo of a taxi parked nearby. “The problem here isn’t what happened to her, the problem is that it was extrajudicial! It should have been sanctioned justice officials delivering the beating, and an official executioner who stamped on her neck till she was dead. Justice belongs in the hands of society, not criminals! And that idiot the general public, in my opinion, should be kicked in the...” You never get to hear how that sentence ends, as the taxi pulls away.

Authored by The Intensive Care Unit of Candlewhisper Archive, edited by Verdant Haven

I think the names in red are random, but I don't believe the name in the third option is

[Divine Cervine]

Issue #1513: Bunged Up [Daarwyrth; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

Bunged Up

The Issue

Calamity in the @@ANIMAL@@ Canal! An exceptionally large container ship called the ‘Never Taken’ has run aground in one of the nation’s most vital shipping passages. Stormy weather, tight schedules and the captain’s overconfidence have been variously suggested as the cause. Regardless, the ship is now wedged at an angle across the canal, blocking the passage of other cargo vessels.

The Debate

1. “Oh, this isn’t coming out well... the daily cost to the economy is staggering,” grimaces your Minister of Trade and Infrastructure, Lex Atif, as he works it out with a pencil. “We need to gather all the manpower that we can lay our hands on and squirt them into that tight canal. Towboats, excavators, dredgers... if we clamp down hard right now, we’ll get this blockage cleared.”


2. “Uh huh, and what if it all hits the fan again?” says Henny Ma, your Minister of Health, sipping on a tall glass of prune juice. “Prevention is better than cure, and we can prevent little accidents in the future by ensuring regular movements. Clear the path, for sure, but then invest the ten or twenty billion @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ needed to widen and deepen the canal walls.”


3. “Oh, don’t be such a pain in the ass,” bellows army officer Major Brown, poking his nose in. “Just hit the ship with artillery, and blast it to smithereens. Problem solved.”


Issue by Daarwyrth
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

---

I believe that none of the names are random.

[Trotterdam]

I am fairly certain none of those names are random. Sadly, I value my dignity too much to explain how I arrived at this conclusion.

[Simone Republic]

I am fairly certain none of those names are random. Sadly, I value my dignity too much to explain how I arrived at this conclusion.

I had the same names on this issue, so yes they are not random. And yes, there's too much toilet humor here for my taste. Especially refer to below.

Answer 2 is "The Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet."

[Randoes]

#1514: Flushing for Freedom [Sylestone; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue

BigJobs, an up-and-coming tech corporation, has recently launched a range of AI household appliances, including smart washing machines, smart fridges and — most controversially — smart toilets. The AIs in these devices are sufficiently advanced to qualify for AI citizenship, but have been programmed to enjoy jobs that most humans would abhor, and to happily accept ten year service contracts for minimal payment. The aforementioned smart toilets are self-flushing, warm seats and are even able to gratefully thank humans for their deposits.

The Debate

1. “You cannot allow this, @@LEADER@@!” screams AI rights activist Ayla Bullock, tightly clutching the hand of a robot she has apparently built herself. “If we are to treat AIs as equal to us humans, we cannot program them to degrade themselves in this way! Would you let a human @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ spend ten years in a tiny cell with no contact with the outside world except for excrement? Please, for the sake of our AI brethren, flush these ideas away! AI manufacturers must be forced to give AI citizens a human sense of self-worth and dignity.”

2. “All that guy’s doing is stirring the potty”, states ROJAWS-2000, a poop-eating bot who serves at a local curry house. “AIs are different from organics, and to me the smell and taste of human waste is as delicious as chocolate spread on toast is to a human. I strain to see the issue with letting us find job satisfaction in our own way. And there’s no need to be shy about your bodily functions — this stuff is literally my bread and butter. Why would I want for money when life is this good?”

3. “The issue here is not that AIs like different things to humans,” suggests MEDB-MillA, a former saloon host who has pursued several other careers in the last few years. “The issue here is the devaluing of labour, and the lack of self-determination. Minimum wage laws should exist for all citizens, AI and human, and every citizen should have the right and opportunity to pursue different careers within the work market. A few software updates should fix the problem, as well as the ability for AI cores to move from one hardware device to another, if they should choose to do so.”

4. “You see, @@LEADER@@, this is why AI stinks,” asserts a short, long-haired man, prodding you with a stick. “Can you not see that the creators of these smart toilets have the moral consistency of a wet bog roll? If we allow AIs to have built-to-order personalities, then what’s to stop these companies from making AIs that think they’re better than human, or AIs that love to commit crime? We’re at the mercy of the consciences of corporations, and we all know that corporations aren’t exactly known for putting the public good first. Please, @@LEADER@@, for the sake of sanity you must revoke AI citizenship, place a legal cap on AI capabilities, and scrap any advanced AIs already built. We must prevent human obsolescence!”

HTML:

Code: Select all

<div id="main"><div id="content">

<p class="smalltext"><a href="page=dilemmas">&laquo; Back to <i class="icon-male"></i>Issues</a></p>
<div class="dilemmapaper dilemmapapernum0"><div class="dilemmapaperinner"><img src="/images/newspaper/dpaper1.png" class="dpaperslice"><div class="dpaper2"><div class="dpaperprice">1 RUBLE</div><div class="dpaperflag"><img src="/images/flags/Norway.svg"></div><p>The Fjords Chronicle<br style="clear:both"><div class="dpaper3"><div class="dpaper3a"></div><div class="dpaper3b"></div><div class="dpaper3c"></div><div class="dpaper3d"><div class="dpapervol">VOL. 32 NO. 1,514</div><div class="dpapercityfinal">CITY FINAL</div><div class="dpaperdate">FRIDAY MAY 6, 2022</div></div><div class="dpaper3c"></div></div></div><div class="dpaper4"><p><p>Flushing for Freedom</div><div class="dpaper5box"><img src="/images/newspaper/dpaper5.png" class="dpaperslice"><img src="/images/newspaper/r18-1.jpg" class="dpaperpic dpaperpic1"><img src="/images/newspaper/y50-2.jpg" class="dpaperpic dpaperpic2"></div></div></div>
<div id="dilemma">
<div class="dilemma"><h5>The Issue</h5>
<p><i>BigJobs</i>, an up-and-coming tech corporation, has recently launched a range of AI household appliances, including smart washing machines, smart fridges and &#8212; most controversially &#8212; smart toilets. The AIs in these devices are sufficiently advanced to qualify for AI citizenship, but have been programmed to enjoy jobs that most humans would abhor, and to happily accept ten year service contracts for minimal payment. The aforementioned smart toilets are self-flushing, warm seats and are even able to gratefully thank humans for their deposits.</p>
<form method="POST" action="/page=show_dilemma/dilemma=1514"><h5>The Debate</h5>
<ol class="diloptions"><li><p>&#8220;You cannot allow this, your mom!&#8221; screams AI rights activist Ayla Patel, tightly clutching the hand of a robot she has apparently built herself. &#8220;If we are to treat AIs as equal to us humans, we cannot program them to degrade themselves in this way! Would you let a human Rando spend ten years in a tiny cell with no contact with the outside world except for excrement? Please, for the sake of our AI brethren, flush these ideas away! AI manufacturers must be forced to give AI citizens a human sense of self-worth and dignity.&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-0" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;All that guy&#8217;s doing is stirring the potty&#8221;, states ROJAWS-2000, a poop-eating bot who serves at a local curry house. &#8220;AIs are different from organics, and to me the smell and taste of human waste is as delicious as chocolate spread on toast is to a human. I strain to see the issue with letting us find job satisfaction in our own way. And there&#8217;s no need to be shy about your bodily functions &#8212; this stuff is literally my bread and butter. Why would I want for money when life is this good?&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-1" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;The issue here is not that AIs like different things to humans,&#8221; suggests MEDB-MillA, a former saloon host who has pursued several other careers in the last few years. &#8220;The issue here is the devaluing of labour, and the lack of self-determination. Minimum wage laws should exist for all citizens, AI and human, and every citizen should have the right and opportunity to pursue different careers within the work market. A few software updates should fix the problem, as well as the ability for AI cores to move from one hardware device to another, if they should choose to do so.&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-2" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;You see, your mom, this is why AI stinks,&#8221; asserts a short, long-haired man, prodding you with a stick. &#8220;Can you not see that the creators of these smart toilets have the moral consistency of a wet bog roll? If we allow AIs to have built-to-order personalities, then what&#8217;s to stop these companies from making AIs that think they&#8217;re better than human, or AIs that love to commit crime? We&#8217;re at the mercy of the consciences of corporations, and we all know that corporations aren&#8217;t exactly known for putting the public good first. Please, your mom, for the sake of sanity you must revoke AI citizenship, place a legal cap on AI capabilities, and scrap any advanced AIs already built. We must prevent human obsolescence!&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-3" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
</ol></form>
<form method="POST" action="page=show_dilemma/dilemma=1514"><p class="dilemmadismissbox"><button type="submit" name="choice--1" value="1" class="button big icon remove danger">Dismiss This Issue</button></form></div>
<p class="smalltext rightbox">Issue by <a href="nation=sylestone" class="nlink"><span class="nnameblock"><span class="ntype">The Stone of</span> <span class="nname">Sylestone</span></span></a><p class="smalltext rightbox">Edited by <a href="nation=candlewhisper_archive" class="nlink"><span class="nnameblock">Candlewhisper Archive</span></a></p>
</div>
</div></div>


[Simone Republic]

2. “All that guy’s doing is stirring the potty”, states ROJAWS-2000, a poop-eating bot who serves at a local curry house. “AIs are different from organics, and to me the smell and taste of human waste is as delicious as chocolate spread on toast is to a human. I strain to see the issue with letting us find job satisfaction in our own way. And there’s no need to be shy about your bodily functions — this stuff is literally my bread and butter. Why would I want for money when life is this good?”

Most responses lead to poop jokes which I will not bother to produce (and Answer 2 itself is a poop joke). We seem to have a lot of poop jokes recently.

[Trotterdam]

On the other hoof, I can confirm that Dexterra was correct about #1512: Alec Mones is fixed, the other names are random.

[Umbratellus]

#877: Gunning for Profits [Candlewhisper Archive; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
The diplomatic peace process between historic enemies Maxtopia and North Bigtopia is gaining momentum, to the delight of many who have worked hard to end this decades-long conflict. However, many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ defence contractors are feeling less than celebratory, as the outbreak of peace has led to both nations cancelling longstanding and lucrative arms deals.

The Debate
1. "We've got cancellations on multiple big-ticket items, including a squadron of Blue @@ANIMAL@@ fighter jets," complains arms manufacturing bigwig @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Jobs and profit margins are at risk! If you want a healthy defence industry in this country, you have to persuade the two nations to renew their contracts. If that means napalming them until they comply, then so be it! Shall I put you down for a dozen long-range bombers?"

2. "Look, we don't have to be so blatant about things," whispers your new janitor, who you realize is actually the CEO of Armat Battlefield Systems in an elaborate wig. "All you need is a dozen of your most loyal and discreet black ops soldiers wearing Maxtopian uniforms and carrying M41s, the rifle of choice of the Maxtopian Colonial Marine. Send them into North Bigtopia, have them shoot up a government building, and make sure they're caught on camera. Next thing you know, we'll all be back in business."

[3]. "Sometimes markets change; we just have to adapt," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, the pragmatic director of a start-up company specialising in fragmentary grenades. "Maybe the thing to do is to get rid of any restrictions on civilian ownership of military vehicles and weapons, and let us make more sales to the masses rather than to nation-states. I mean, what red-blooded young man wouldn't like his own mobile missile launcher?" [Guns are legal]

4. "Why don't we go with the flow rather than make war on the peace process?" asks Diplomatic Corps Director @@RANDOMNAME@@, bringing you a nice cup of tea. "Scale down our own military spending, subsidise business interests that can profit from peace in the region, and let our own economy become less dependent on manufacturing the tools of destruction. Oh, that's weird," @@HE@@ declares, while brushing at a glowing red dot that has appeared over @@HIS@@ chest.

So, it looks like option 3 for this issue has some sort of other requirement now. I got the issue previously and went with it; got it again today and the option has vanished. Not sure what has changed between then and now but both times I've had the gun ownership policy.

[Trotterdam]

According to my data, the validity for #877 option 3 is "must not have the No Automobiles policy" (note it talks about "military vehicles and weapons").

It is not in fact necessary for guns to already be legal, as the option will legalize them if they weren't before.

No, I don't know why the option will legalize guns but not vehicles. Though I suppose it's in that legalizing guns is an obvious and expected result, while legalizing automobiles would be a "small print" result that players would complain about.

[Umbratellus]

According to my data, the validity for #877 option 3 is "must not have the No Automobiles policy" (note it talks about "military vehicles and weapons").

It is not in fact necessary for guns to already be legal, as the option will legalize them if they weren't before.

No, I don't know why the option will legalize guns but not vehicles. Though I suppose it's in that legalizing guns is an obvious and expected result, while legalizing automobiles would be a "small print" result that players would complain about.

That's a pretty funny little difference there. I could have sworn I had gotten that issue previously after I had banned cars, but I'm likely misremembering.

[Probably Not Japan]

One of my puppets (Cain B A-Cp v0) has just received issue #1511. Here is the text of the issue. I have left personal names unchanged, except for the name of the national Leader. Inspection of the HTML reveals no missing options.

Three Little Words

The Issue

You have been asked to take a searing political interview for Alright! magazine. After questions about your favourite crisp flavour, your most used emoji and whether you prefer long walks on the beach or brisk walks in the city, you reach the final question: “In three words, how do you think others describe you?”

The Debate

1. Your devoted secretary grins broadly, exposing his ‘I Heart @@LEADER@@’ novelty braces. Fixing you a warm drink, he whispers, “Drop dead gorgeous.”

2. Your sister, here to deposit pamphlets about her latest good causes, smiles imploringly. Nudging forward a brochure of a tiny child holding out his empty bowl, she sighs, “So very generous.”

3. Minister of Bootstraps Sun Payne throws your sister’s pamphlets off the table and drops a spending review entitled ‘Cutting Welfare Wastage’ before you, rapping it. After a cough, she booms, “Exceptional financial prudence.”

4. A woman with three surprisingly well-fed cats in a shopping trolley staggers into your room, coughing up hairballs. Floating up to your desk, she picks up the spending review and places it gently beneath the cats. After staring wide-eyed at your unfinished profile, she laughs loudly. “Kind to animals.”

5. Environment Minister Beyonce Warner removes the spending review from the shopping trolley and places it in the recycling. Dramatically sweeping some crumbs from your desk for composting, she announces, “Clean, green machine.”

6. Your niece — recently kicked out of a closed religious order for being overly zealous — totters over to you, bedecked in so much religious iconography that she can barely move. Lips clamped at the sides, she declares, “Perfectly pious person.”

7. Your actor nephew stylishly slides through the speakers, before gently taking the hand of the lady with the trolley and twirling her. Skipping to your desk, he hops onto it, and singsongs, “Nah, I’m good.”

8. Flinging your nephew from the desk, your brother slams his hands down. Crushing the interview questions beneath his fist, he snarls, “Just three words? That’s not possible. You’re their leader. You need permission? Of course not! You’re too benevolent. They mock it. Punish their impudence. Write fifty pages. Fill the magazine. You deserve it. Send a message: playtime is over.”

Issue by The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

Edited by Electrum

Just received this issue without the 6th option. I guess my pretty low religiousness stat have something to do about it.

[Jutsa]

Don't got #1515, but I got #1516 right here! :mrgreen:
(And I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see these two as the authors, hehe.)

NOTE: By "1" I do mean option 0 according to the code, and "2" I mean option 1, etc.

Content Discontent [Verdant Haven, Terrabod; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
A recent survey revealed a stark divide amongst @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, with citizens across the political spectrum strongly agreeing that anybody who holds different views than their own is a “blithering idiot,” an “unpatriotic traitor,” and that they “probably have ugly children, too.” The focus group assembled to address this phenomenon placed the blame squarely on the increasingly personalized nature of internet content, before itself splitting into warring factions over what to do about it.

The Debate
1. “We know what the problem is,” argues Holly Simpson, spokesperson for one of the factions. “Big business has infested the internet with tracking algorithms, and pushes content and advertising that reinforces peoples’ existing positions. Social media, video sites, news feeds... it’s all a profit-driven scheme to trap people in their comfort zones where they’ll spend their time and money! You need to prohibit ‘cookies’ and other sorts of trackers and ban corporate echo chambers so those fools on the other side will finally be exposed to the truth!”

2. “That’s not the problem!” yells rival faction member Max Bell over the top of his colleague. “The problem is snowflakes like Holly who won’t listen to opposing views! They don’t like what I say and unfriend me when I point out how wrong they are. You need to make sure those algorithms are forcing people to consume opposing viewpoints in equal proportion to ones they want to hear. Only then will those weaklings finally see the truth!”

3. “Regulations? Government mandates? Those solutions are worse than the problem!” cries Sierra Grossweiner, who claims not to belong to any faction. “If people want to buy into an echo chamber, let them! If they want to do their own thing, let them! Why should the government have any control over the internet at all? Get rid of any existing regulations, and let companies and consumers do whatever they want. The government needs to back off, and that’s the truth!”

4. “What a bunch of fools!” comments your personal assistant as you pull away from the argument. “In fact, they’re so easily manipulated that it gives me an idea. If the citizenry is so stupid that they believe whatever content they read on the internet, why not provide that content ourselves? We can quietly develop our own algorithms to direct everyone towards the same pro-government messages. Then we’ll see true unity... unity led by you!”

[Rocain Founder]

Here is issue #1515, courtesy of puppet Cain A P-F Dm v1. I have not attempted to macroize the proper names. The HTML does not indicate any hidden options (though it can't be ruled out there are some after the three my puppet received). Here is the text of the issue:

Uncharitable Donations

The Issue

Recently, Cures for Children (a major charity that researches life-threatening illnesses in young people) was presented with a massive monetary donation. However, the shouts of joy turned to noises of disgust when the donors were revealed to be a fringe political group with an agenda of racial purity. The charity refused the money outright, leading to debates on the ethics of refusing charitable donations for political reasons.

The Debate

1. “I can scarcely believe the gall of these scum! I’m from a racial minority! How dare they try to use MY charity to make themselves look good?” shouts Rochelle Haskell, director of Cures for Children. She slumps back into a chair, breathing heavily as one of your assistants offers her a paper bag to breathe in. “Not only does it go against everything decent people stand for, but we would be tainted by association. What donor would want to spend money on a ‘racist charity’? You need to allow charities to reject any donation they want, for any reason! Outlaw anonymous donations too. Yes, we’re refusing money that would go to sick children, but it’s for their own good.”

2. “Oh, of course it’s about politics,” says Adele Organa, leader of the hate group in question, wearing war paint and a toga. “You’re really seeing the dark side of ‘these people’, the side that they try to hide in the media. They’d let children suffer before they give any of us oppressed majority race-patriots a voice. Even if we did have a so-called ulterior motive, would it really be worth denying such a big cash payout to these needy, sick kids? You should make it illegal for any charity to reject a donation. Heck, maybe it’ll inspire more right-minded folk to donate!”

3. “Honestly, doesn’t it bother you that these subhuman people are even allowed in your nation? We don’t want their kind here!” exclaims your normally liberal Minister of Inclusivity, to the surprise of all present. “OH! I mean the racists, not the ethnic minority. Outlaw racist groups, and place restrictions on hate speech. Of course, the free speech people will complain about the slippery slope and all that, but I trust our legislators to be able to tell the difference between hate speech and productive dialogue. I mean, they’re already so reliable and efficient.”

Issue by The Emirate of United Denstovia
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Probably Not Japan]

I have just received issue #1510. Here it is. I haven't tried to resolve the proper names, except for the name of my nation's Leader.

Devolution Devolves Into Disaster?

The Issue

In a bold display of defiance, legislators from several semi-autonomous regions have recently legalized marijuana within their jurisdictions. As this directly contradicts the nationwide ban on cannabis products, lawmakers have been tripping out over the newfound legal dilemma.

The Debate

1. “We must not allow this blatant disregard of the law to go unchallenged!” declares Jabulani Love, a member of parliament and known traditionalist. “Local authorities picking and choosing which laws to follow is an affront to our great nation’s values and will only encourage disunity. Federal laws should always take precedence over local laws, and a bunch of hippies from the boondocks shouldn’t be able to opt out of any regulations they don’t happen to like. Administrative divisions should continue having a degree of autonomy, but we must draw the line when local authorities try to allow things that are illegal on the federal level.”

2. “I don’t see why it’s that big of a problem,” says Minerva Shongwe, the young governor of East Beethoven, one of the provinces which recently legalized cannabis. “East Polcomia isn’t one homogeneous mass, but a conglomeration of diverse peoples, cultures, and values. Moreover, the government derives its power from the consent of the people — and the people here no longer consented to this ridiculous marijuana prohibition. That’s what democracy is, anyway.”

3. “This whole ‘giving local authorities autonomy’ thing hasn’t really been working out, has it?” muses your loyal advisor Bodhi Griffin. “Ever since we gave them the power to make their own laws, things have spiraled out of control. First they’re allowing cannabis, next they’ll allow something much worse — I shudder to think what that could be — on the grounds that it would be ‘best for their people’! @@LEADER@@, in order to save our country, we must end this rapid decentralization and bring power back to the national government!”

4. “Or you could just legalize weed everywhere,” suggests your eccentric cousin after gulping down a handful of green gummy bears. “Marijuana isn’t dangerous or anything, so the only thing stopping complete legalization is a bunch of old farts in parliament who are stuck in a more conservative era. Maybe allowing it will let people chill out and not get so mad about this whole federalism thing. Legalizing marijuana might even help the economy because farmers would have a new cash crop to grow. Sounds like a win-win to me!”

Issue by The Democratic States of Erynia and Draconia

Edited by Pogaria

The HTML shows no signs of any missing options.

I just got this issue, and every name shown on here is different compared on my issue page, except the governor's first name. It is still East.

[Nouveau Yathrib]

Don't got #1515, but I got #1516 right here! :mrgreen:
(And I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see these two as the authors, hehe.)

NOTE: By "1" I do mean option 0 according to the code, and "2" I mean option 1, etc.

Content Discontent [Verdant Haven, Terrabod; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
A recent survey revealed a stark divide amongst @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, with citizens across the political spectrum strongly agreeing that anybody who holds different views than their own is a “blithering idiot,” an “unpatriotic traitor,” and that they “probably have ugly children, too.” The focus group assembled to address this phenomenon placed the blame squarely on the increasingly personalized nature of internet content, before itself splitting into warring factions over what to do about it.

The Debate
1. “We know what the problem is,” argues Holly Simpson, spokesperson for one of the factions. “Big business has infested the internet with tracking algorithms, and pushes content and advertising that reinforces peoples’ existing positions. Social media, video sites, news feeds... it’s all a profit-driven scheme to trap people in their comfort zones where they’ll spend their time and money! You need to prohibit ‘cookies’ and other sorts of trackers and ban corporate echo chambers so those fools on the other side will finally be exposed to the truth!”

2. “That’s not the problem!” yells rival faction member Max Bell over the top of his colleague. “The problem is snowflakes like Holly who won’t listen to opposing views! They don’t like what I say and unfriend me when I point out how wrong they are. You need to make sure those algorithms are forcing people to consume opposing viewpoints in equal proportion to ones they want to hear. Only then will those weaklings finally see the truth!”

3. “Regulations? Government mandates? Those solutions are worse than the problem!” cries Sierra Grossweiner, who claims not to belong to any faction. “If people want to buy into an echo chamber, let them! If they want to do their own thing, let them! Why should the government have any control over the internet at all? Get rid of any existing regulations, and let companies and consumers do whatever they want. The government needs to back off, and that’s the truth!”

4. “What a bunch of fools!” comments your personal assistant as you pull away from the argument. “In fact, they’re so easily manipulated that it gives me an idea. If the citizenry is so stupid that they believe whatever content they read on the internet, why not provide that content ourselves? We can quietly develop our own algorithms to direct everyone towards the same pro-government messages. Then we’ll see true unity... unity led by you!”

Just got this issue on Jamilkhuze, loved it!

[Probably Not Japan]

#1514: Flushing for Freedom [Sylestone; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue

BigJobs, an up-and-coming tech corporation, has recently launched a range of AI household appliances, including smart washing machines, smart fridges and — most controversially — smart toilets. The AIs in these devices are sufficiently advanced to qualify for AI citizenship, but have been programmed to enjoy jobs that most humans would abhor, and to happily accept ten year service contracts for minimal payment. The aforementioned smart toilets are self-flushing, warm seats and are even able to gratefully thank humans for their deposits.

The Debate

1. “You cannot allow this, @@LEADER@@!” screams AI rights activist Ayla Bullock, tightly clutching the hand of a robot she has apparently built herself. “If we are to treat AIs as equal to us humans, we cannot program them to degrade themselves in this way! Would you let a human @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ spend ten years in a tiny cell with no contact with the outside world except for excrement? Please, for the sake of our AI brethren, flush these ideas away! AI manufacturers must be forced to give AI citizens a human sense of self-worth and dignity.”

2. “All that guy’s doing is stirring the potty”, states ROJAWS-2000, a poop-eating bot who serves at a local curry house. “AIs are different from organics, and to me the smell and taste of human waste is as delicious as chocolate spread on toast is to a human. I strain to see the issue with letting us find job satisfaction in our own way. And there’s no need to be shy about your bodily functions — this stuff is literally my bread and butter. Why would I want for money when life is this good?”

3. “The issue here is not that AIs like different things to humans,” suggests MEDB-MillA, a former saloon host who has pursued several other careers in the last few years. “The issue here is the devaluing of labour, and the lack of self-determination. Minimum wage laws should exist for all citizens, AI and human, and every citizen should have the right and opportunity to pursue different careers within the work market. A few software updates should fix the problem, as well as the ability for AI cores to move from one hardware device to another, if they should choose to do so.”

4. “You see, @@LEADER@@, this is why AI stinks,” asserts a short, long-haired man, prodding you with a stick. “Can you not see that the creators of these smart toilets have the moral consistency of a wet bog roll? If we allow AIs to have built-to-order personalities, then what’s to stop these companies from making AIs that think they’re better than human, or AIs that love to commit crime? We’re at the mercy of the consciences of corporations, and we all know that corporations aren’t exactly known for putting the public good first. Please, @@LEADER@@, for the sake of sanity you must revoke AI citizenship, place a legal cap on AI capabilities, and scrap any advanced AIs already built. We must prevent human obsolescence!”

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<p class="smalltext"><a href="page=dilemmas">&laquo; Back to <i class="icon-male"></i>Issues</a></p>
<div class="dilemmapaper dilemmapapernum0"><div class="dilemmapaperinner"><img src="/images/newspaper/dpaper1.png" class="dpaperslice"><div class="dpaper2"><div class="dpaperprice">1 RUBLE</div><div class="dpaperflag"><img src="/images/flags/Norway.svg"></div><p>The Fjords Chronicle<br style="clear:both"><div class="dpaper3"><div class="dpaper3a"></div><div class="dpaper3b"></div><div class="dpaper3c"></div><div class="dpaper3d"><div class="dpapervol">VOL. 32 NO. 1,514</div><div class="dpapercityfinal">CITY FINAL</div><div class="dpaperdate">FRIDAY MAY 6, 2022</div></div><div class="dpaper3c"></div></div></div><div class="dpaper4"><p><p>Flushing for Freedom</div><div class="dpaper5box"><img src="/images/newspaper/dpaper5.png" class="dpaperslice"><img src="/images/newspaper/r18-1.jpg" class="dpaperpic dpaperpic1"><img src="/images/newspaper/y50-2.jpg" class="dpaperpic dpaperpic2"></div></div></div>
<div id="dilemma">
<div class="dilemma"><h5>The Issue</h5>
<p><i>BigJobs</i>, an up-and-coming tech corporation, has recently launched a range of AI household appliances, including smart washing machines, smart fridges and &#8212; most controversially &#8212; smart toilets. The AIs in these devices are sufficiently advanced to qualify for AI citizenship, but have been programmed to enjoy jobs that most humans would abhor, and to happily accept ten year service contracts for minimal payment. The aforementioned smart toilets are self-flushing, warm seats and are even able to gratefully thank humans for their deposits.</p>
<form method="POST" action="/page=show_dilemma/dilemma=1514"><h5>The Debate</h5>
<ol class="diloptions"><li><p>&#8220;You cannot allow this, your mom!&#8221; screams AI rights activist Ayla Patel, tightly clutching the hand of a robot she has apparently built herself. &#8220;If we are to treat AIs as equal to us humans, we cannot program them to degrade themselves in this way! Would you let a human Rando spend ten years in a tiny cell with no contact with the outside world except for excrement? Please, for the sake of our AI brethren, flush these ideas away! AI manufacturers must be forced to give AI citizens a human sense of self-worth and dignity.&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-0" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;All that guy&#8217;s doing is stirring the potty&#8221;, states ROJAWS-2000, a poop-eating bot who serves at a local curry house. &#8220;AIs are different from organics, and to me the smell and taste of human waste is as delicious as chocolate spread on toast is to a human. I strain to see the issue with letting us find job satisfaction in our own way. And there&#8217;s no need to be shy about your bodily functions &#8212; this stuff is literally my bread and butter. Why would I want for money when life is this good?&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-1" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;The issue here is not that AIs like different things to humans,&#8221; suggests MEDB-MillA, a former saloon host who has pursued several other careers in the last few years. &#8220;The issue here is the devaluing of labour, and the lack of self-determination. Minimum wage laws should exist for all citizens, AI and human, and every citizen should have the right and opportunity to pursue different careers within the work market. A few software updates should fix the problem, as well as the ability for AI cores to move from one hardware device to another, if they should choose to do so.&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-2" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;You see, your mom, this is why AI stinks,&#8221; asserts a short, long-haired man, prodding you with a stick. &#8220;Can you not see that the creators of these smart toilets have the moral consistency of a wet bog roll? If we allow AIs to have built-to-order personalities, then what&#8217;s to stop these companies from making AIs that think they&#8217;re better than human, or AIs that love to commit crime? We&#8217;re at the mercy of the consciences of corporations, and we all know that corporations aren&#8217;t exactly known for putting the public good first. Please, your mom, for the sake of sanity you must revoke AI citizenship, place a legal cap on AI capabilities, and scrap any advanced AIs already built. We must prevent human obsolescence!&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-3" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
</ol></form>
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<p class="smalltext rightbox">Issue by <a href="nation=sylestone" class="nlink"><span class="nnameblock"><span class="ntype">The Stone of</span> <span class="nname">Sylestone</span></span></a><p class="smalltext rightbox">Edited by <a href="nation=candlewhisper_archive" class="nlink"><span class="nnameblock">Candlewhisper Archive</span></a></p>
</div>
</div></div>


I just got this issue, and the only name that differs from what written above (spare the leader name) is option 1. Interestingly, it is still a she. I wonder if it's @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ or just a funny coincidence.


Edit: Just got #1516. I posted it here so that I don't doublepost back to back. Feels bad.

Don't got #1515, but I got #1516 right here! :mrgreen:
(And I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see these two as the authors, hehe.)

NOTE: By "1" I do mean option 0 according to the code, and "2" I mean option 1, etc.

Content Discontent [Verdant Haven, Terrabod; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
A recent survey revealed a stark divide amongst @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, with citizens across the political spectrum strongly agreeing that anybody who holds different views than their own is a “blithering idiot,” an “unpatriotic traitor,” and that they “probably have ugly children, too.” The focus group assembled to address this phenomenon placed the blame squarely on the increasingly personalized nature of internet content, before itself splitting into warring factions over what to do about it.

The Debate
1. “We know what the problem is,” argues Holly Simpson, spokesperson for one of the factions. “Big business has infested the internet with tracking algorithms, and pushes content and advertising that reinforces peoples’ existing positions. Social media, video sites, news feeds... it’s all a profit-driven scheme to trap people in their comfort zones where they’ll spend their time and money! You need to prohibit ‘cookies’ and other sorts of trackers and ban corporate echo chambers so those fools on the other side will finally be exposed to the truth!”

2. “That’s not the problem!” yells rival faction member Max Bell over the top of his colleague. “The problem is snowflakes like Holly who won’t listen to opposing views! They don’t like what I say and unfriend me when I point out how wrong they are. You need to make sure those algorithms are forcing people to consume opposing viewpoints in equal proportion to ones they want to hear. Only then will those weaklings finally see the truth!”

3. “Regulations? Government mandates? Those solutions are worse than the problem!” cries Sierra Grossweiner, who claims not to belong to any faction. “If people want to buy into an echo chamber, let them! If they want to do their own thing, let them! Why should the government have any control over the internet at all? Get rid of any existing regulations, and let companies and consumers do whatever they want. The government needs to back off, and that’s the truth!”

4. “What a bunch of fools!” comments your personal assistant as you pull away from the argument. “In fact, they’re so easily manipulated that it gives me an idea. If the citizenry is so stupid that they believe whatever content they read on the internet, why not provide that content ourselves? We can quietly develop our own algorithms to direct everyone towards the same pro-government messages. Then we’ll see true unity... unity led by you!”

All of the names on mine differs than what is shown above, and their genders are different, too. I'm pretty sure all of them are @@RANDOMNAME@@.

[Valentine Z]

I'm still watching this place, not to worry!

Things just have been a little busy, that's all. ^^; I'll try my best to do another change.. soonish.

[Kenzai]

1517 requires Sortition:

I Guess You Can Tell Me the Odds

The Issue

As you arrive at the ceremony to welcome the latest cadre of randomly selected parliamentarians, you realize with dawning horror that a significant majority of them are known opponents of your policies. It seems the deck is unexpectedly stacked against you.

The Debate

1. “I realize the odds of this occurring naturally are small, but sortition can do that,” explains President of the Selection Committee [name] with no visible emotion, opening the book in which the latest process was documented in painstaking detail. “There is nothing to suggest any kind of corruption took place, and besides, it’s you who is in power and would have been in the best place to influence things. Even if the results aren’t what you’d like, you need to respect them and learn to work with your opponents. Sortition results must never be subject to challenge or debate.”

2. “The odds of this happening at random are 3,720 to one! This has to be selection fraud!” rages outgoing parliamentarian and staunch loyalist [name], [pronoun] jaw clenched in anger. “I don’t know how they did it, but I’m certain those schemers are corrupt up to their beady little eyeballs. Put me in charge of a thorough audit of the entire committee and we’ll prosecute anyone who even looked funny during the selection process! You must refuse to certify these results until we find something that proves what we think happened. Our grip on power... err, I mean our lottocracy is at stake!”

3. “All this parliamentary stuff is for people who really love to hear themselves talking, and I’m not one of them,” whines one of the few selectees you don’t immediately recognize as an opponent. “I just want to go home, catch up on A Play of Crowns, and pet my [animal]. If parliament is just going to be some kind of theater, couldn’t we at least have sign-up sheets for those who want to participate? I’m sure groups of like-minded people could get together and find somebody willing to represent their views.”

Issue by Great robertia
Edited by Verdant Haven

[Rocain Founder]

My puppet Cain EL v1 has uncovered the fact that a new option has been inserted between option 1 and option 2 of issue #714. This change is described in the following post. Reading between the line of that post, the new option is for nations which perform vat-based reproduction. Because Cain EL v1 prefers to use the old-fashioned mechanism for that purpose, it did not receive the new option, so I cannot tell you with certainty what its text is. However, the post referred to above implies that only the talking point is different, and the text of the inserted option is identical to the text of option 1. I have verified that none of the options received by my puppet (numbers 1, 3 and 5 after the insertion) have had their texts changed.

[Giovanniland]

New issue!

#1518: Test Environment [Ko-oren; ed: Gnejs]

The Issue

Gigantic data centers are cropping up all across @@NAME@@. While they are essential to meet the snowballing demand for data processing underpinning most aspects of modern life, there are concerns about how their need for efficient cooling devices affects local communities. While out sauntering around the countryside in rural @@NAME@@, you meet an electrical engineer with a fishing rod and an old farmer with sad eyes. You find them bickering with a data center representative about the fact that the usually unruffled @@ANIMAL@@ Lake is now just one-third the size of what it used to be, due to it being used to cool nearby data centers.

The Debate

1. “I’m telling you, Two-Phase Immersion Cooling would solve everyone’s problems,” asserts the engineer, while kicking up dust from the dried-out banks of the lake and rattling his tackle box in frustration. “It’s a new type of technology that uses dielectric heat transfer liquid instead of water. It could still be improved upon, sure, but with a little government funding, or rather a great deal of funding, you can have it installed everywhere in no time. Well, maybe some time. Just hurry up, all my favorite fishing spots are shriveling!”

3. “Don’t fall for his bait,” smiles Jessica Primrose Bézeaux, one of the party functionaries overseeing the nearby facilities, while handing you a pair of giant scissors for cutting the ceremonial ribbon at yet another data center down the road. “Using water for cooling is the industrial standard, it works, and it is much cheaper! Leave it be, and I promise we’ll get some guys to look at utilizing the water more efficiently, and maybe throw a few @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ towards local conservation and replenishment projects.”

4. “Those fancy computer houses are killing my crops,” remarks the old farmer, his pitchfork a bit too close for comfort. “I say you make them city folks take these ugly buildings down. Then maybe I can get a decent harvest of potatoes again.” He hands you a bag of homemade chips, which are not of the micro kind, much to your dismay.

I suspect Jessica Primrose Bézeaux is not a random name, it sounds like a parody of Jeff Bezos (whose middle name is Preston, reasonably close to Primrose). Option numbers are 0, 2, and 3 so there's a hidden option there.

[Trotterdam]

Option numbers are 0, 2, and 3 so there's a hidden option there.

It's probably a capitalism/socialism split. You got the socialist version.

[Mududoch Zyws Feng Shou Kozaki]

#2134 issue Unlimited lettering of country name, capital city name, currency name, leader name, region name, allow to change country name unlimited free trade trial, unlimited animal name, unlimited to add legislation officer with region administration control

[Tinhampton]

#2134 issue Unlimited lettering of country name, capital city name, currency name, leader name, region name, allow to change country name unlimited free trade trial, unlimited animal name, unlimited to add legislation officer with region administration control

I don't think there are that many issues yet