NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Valentine Z]

Oooh, some new activity and issues! I will be sure to add them soon. ^^

[The Candy Of Bottles]

1,421: Have Your Cake and Don’t Eat It

The Issue
Avery Phillips, a young dancer, recently collapsed with the complications of what was revealed to be anorexia nervosa while dancing in the small, televised role of ‘Girl Waiting for Pater Maxxmas’. National attention has now been drawn to the growing prevalence of eating disorders and related hospitalizations in @@NAME@@, especially among the dance community.

The Debate
0.) “Here’s some food for thought,” says psychologist Des Carter, handing you a copy of his new book Cogeato Ergo Sum: I Eat, Therefore I Am. “Eating disorders are growing year on year, in both male and female @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. They may be the result of low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, or can be comorbid with other psychological disorders. Due to the high morbidity, it is vital that you subsidize psychiatric in-patient treatment and prevent future eating disorders by encouraging citizens to attend government funded therapy. Now, why don’t you lie down on this couch and tell me how you feel...”


1.) “Wake up and smell the coffee!” cries Honey Phillips, mother of the collapsed teenager. “The true cause of these eating disorders is all the pressure in today’s hypercompetitive, ultra-connected world. Every member of the @@CAPITAL@@ Ballet corps de ballet has a teeny-tiny waist and skinny legs, and it’s ridiculous! My poor child felt she’d never be pretty unless she was severely underweight. Sponsor media promotions of more healthy body proportions, and ban anyone who’s simply too thin from working in sport, dance, or any role where they can be seen by vulnerable youngsters!”


2.) “Please, dar-link, this ‘healthy figure’ is so last season,” scoffs cadaverous fashion magazine editor Karla Field, covering the downy hair on her emaciated arms with her plum suit’s sleeves. “Only flabby mummies who stuff their faces with fatty snack-foods object to skinny women, because they feel inferior knowing their own beautiful bones were swallowed by layers of flesh. That’s not our problem. Women who eschew the ravages of food should be praised, not labelled mentally ill. My magazine will even fund a contest to crown Miss Mosquito — the thinnest, most dietetically controlled woman in @@NAME@@ — and provide you with something to replace that monstrosity you’re currently wearing. How about it?”


3.) “The obvious solution to eating disorders is to ensure every @@DEMONYM@@ gets the right calories and nutrients,” interjects your Minister of Health, Lettuce Weaver. “And how? With a simple law requiring that every citizen eats healthily and to the exact amount required, enforced by monitoring eyes in kitchens, regulated mealtimes, government distributed shopping lists and recipes and ‘clean plate monitors’ to help everybody finish their din-dins... even if they don’t want to. As the icing on the cake, this would also allow us to prevent people from becoming overweight. Of course, it’ll require a lot of oversight, and control of the national food supply, but my department can handle it.”


Issue by The Holy Zombie of Wischland

Edited by The Free Joy State

No way the Health Ministers first name is random here, don't really know on the others, although if the ballerinas name is random, it's always female, or so I would expect. And I have to say, the page source is quite wide. Looks like there aren't any line breaks in the entire issue.

[Valentine Z]

Thanks for the report! ♥ For #1421, I got it myself too. Here are the names to supplement and complement your report.

First option is definitely fixed name: Des Carter.
Second is Honey Buddhism.
Third is Karla Field, is fixed.
Fourth is Lettuce Flanders.

EDIT: The Issue has Adama Buddhism, so the two names are linked, since they are mother-teen.

[Racoda]

#1406: Can’t Touch This [Candlewhisper Archive; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]
The Issue
Prohibition has driven alcohol underground, and bootlegging is on the rise. Moonshine and gin are being illegally supplied to speakeasies and private parties across @@NAME@@, and anyone who is anyone knows that mobster Mark Scarpone is the man running the show. Scarpone has been hard to prosecute, though, as there’s no direct evidence linking him to the booze black market, and no-one seems willing to testify against him.

The Debate

1. [unknown]
2. “We need to eliminate the Scarpone problem, and see his criminal empire broken up,” demands Prohibition Enforcement Officer Hayley Etness, bursting into your office, slamming her fists on your desk, and demonstrating half a dozen other angry cop clichés. “Not being able to prove wrongdoing has never stopped us enforcing the law in the past. I need officers with guns and body armour to end Scarpone and those like him with extreme prejudice! That’ll teach him to defy the laws of our land!”
   
   police are saying "bye book" to "by the book".
3. “That’s kind of... uh... yeah...” worries politico Cassidy George, clutching his light green felt hat to his chest. “Don’t we always say ‘innocent until proven guilty’? What we need is more oversight and due process here, to ensure that we don’t compromise on the values of justice that make our nation great. I’ll happily head an investigatory committee, and we can review the information at hand, and I’m sure that two to three years down the line we’ll have put together something to justify a search warrant or two, so we can build a sounder prosecution case. Accountability, right?”
4. “Mr. Scarpone is an upstanding businessman with many links to the community,” offers Scarpone’s lawyer Eddie O’Rabbit, who seems to speak entirely out of the side of his mouth. “Now this personal cheque here just so happens to be equal to the exact amount of money that would have been paid in corporation taxes this week if all this bootlegging were happening, and if Mr. Scarpone were involved. Which he ain’t. Say a cheque like this were to turn up every Sunday, then that’d be a good thing, capiche?”
   
5. “Men like Scarpone are just parasites, but the root cause here is prohibition itself,” points out your Undersecretary for Trade, who has suspiciously boozy breath. “People want a drink. Is that so bad? Re-legalise alcohol, and legitimate producers can leave the Mob with no black market demand to exploit. I’ll drink to that!” He raises a bottle to his lips, which is conspicuously labelled ‘PLAIN APPLE JUICE’.

[Valentine Z]

1423: A Slice of the Pi [Candlewhisper Archive; Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue
Recently, a tech firm from the United Federation used a network of computers and the latest algorithms to calculate pi to an incredible number of decimal places, smashing the previous world record by several orders of magnitude.

The Debate
1. “We can break that United Federation record right here in Valentine Z, I know it!” exclaims excitable mathematician Justin Stewart, dancing around you with a manic look on his face. “All we need is a great big network of super-computers, with customised software, and a year or two of dedicated runtime. I’ve got some ideas for exciting new formulae that will make Chudnovsky look like a chump. I mean, what could be cooler than mathematics and computer programming?”

2. “Look, the pursuit of a list of numbers is just academic frippery and posturing,” moans knitwear-clad structural engineer Peggy Bowie. “Even physicists don’t bother using values of pi to more than 160 decimal places, so there’s no practical purpose here. Government research and academic subsidies should be focused purely on subjects which have real-world applications and a sound case for projected economic or societal benefit. You know, like my underfunded research on drainage applications of composite 3D-printed concrete micro-structures with resin polymer interior scaffolding. It’s really fascinating stuff. Here, I wrote a paper on it...”

3. “Nerd alert!” yells former high school quarterback turned fry chef Xanatos Harrison, shoulder barging between the two previous speakers, and knocking them to the ground. “Yeah! Feel that impact! Freight train comin’ through! Y’know, the best thing to do here is not to spend money on all this geek stuff at all. School of hard knocks, that’s the lesson plan these weaklings need!” He demonstrates with his fists.

4. “Honestly, I’ve never liked pi. It’s just so... irrational,” says Minister of Mathematical Certainty Eddie Goodwin. “Can’t we just legislate so that everybody in Valentine Z uses a Valentian definition of pi? Let’s just say pi is 3.2. I mean, that’s true anyway for a given curvature of space time. Just say 3.2, and leave it at that, eh?”

Didn't replace the macros because I can refer to them back later. I have the denounym fields to be separate for this occasion.

[Paffnia]

Issue #900, Option 4 on the list needs a @@NAME@@ (or @@DEMONYM@@?) macro instead of "Bob The Great Builder."

[Racoda]

Also got 1423:
The name in the last option is the same.

The Issue

Recently, a tech firm from the United Federation used a network of computers and the latest algorithms to calculate pi to an incredible number of decimal places, smashing the previous world record by several orders of magnitude.

The Debate

1. “We can break that United Federation record right here in RSCA Privateer 70, I know it!” exclaims excitable mathematician Gary Hayes, dancing around you with a manic look on his face. “All we need is a great big network of super-computers, with customised software, and a year or two of dedicated runtime. I’ve got some ideas for exciting new formulae that will make Chudnovsky look like a chump. I mean, what could be cooler than mathematics and computer programming?”
   
2. “Look, the pursuit of a list of numbers is just academic frippery and posturing,” moans knitwear-clad structural engineer Lucy Osborne. “Even physicists don’t bother using values of pi to more than 160 decimal places, so there’s no practical purpose here. Government research and academic subsidies should be focused purely on subjects which have real-world applications and a sound case for projected economic or societal benefit. You know, like my underfunded research on drainage applications of composite 3D-printed concrete micro-structures with resin polymer interior scaffolding. It’s really fascinating stuff. Here, I wrote a paper on it...”
   
3. “Nerd alert!” yells former high school quarterback turned fry chef Sayid Vargas, shoulder barging between the two previous speakers, and knocking them to the ground. “Yeah! Feel that impact! Freight train comin’ through! Y’know, the best thing to do here is not to spend money on all this geek stuff at all. School of hard knocks, that’s the lesson plan these weaklings need!” He demonstrates with his fists.
   
4. “Honestly, I’ve never liked pi. It’s just so... irrational,” says Minister of Mathematical Certainty Eddie Goodwin. “Can’t we just legislate so that everybody in RSCA Privateer 70 uses a RSCA Privateer 70ian definition of pi? Let’s just say pi is 3.2. I mean, that’s true anyway for a given curvature of space time. Just say 3.2, and leave it at that, eh?”

[Valentine Z]

1422: Who Comes Up With This Ship? [Sedgistan; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
It’s a terrible day. Woken early from dreams of joyfully frolicking @@NATIONALANIMALS@@, you are dragged to the naming ceremony of the latest @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Navy ship. Lashed by more rain than an Albionian could cope with, the sky is the same steely grey as the oversized hulk of metal everyone is making a fuss about, and thanks to the woolen kilt your advisors insisted was “traditional”, the wind is whistling right where you don’t want it to. You thought it couldn’t get any worse, but just as you grasp the ceremonial bottle of bubbly and utter the words, “I hereby name this ship...” you realise you have no idea what the damned thing is to be called.

The Debate
1. One glance at Dirk Lobachevsky, your Minister for Creative Solutions, tells you he won’t be any help today. For once bereft of ideas, he’s studiously avoiding your gaze by pretending to examine a spot off on the distant horizon. What would get his goat? Ah, of course — a cold, efficient and utterly unimaginative name.

2. To his right is the perpetually nervous Religious Affairs Minister, Kayla Shaw, fiddling with her prayer beads as she considers her many religious affairs. You can just imagine her reedy, patronising voice telling you to name the ship after a devout godly figure. Of course, there’s some she’d prefer to forget — who was that patron saint of altar boys?

3. Resolutely staring past your left shoulder is the ever-pompous Rear Admiral Pablo Bacon. What would wipe the smirk off his meaty jowls? Perhaps a dashing, daring name of old, like “Warspite” or “Thundercracker”. But with a twist...

4. And of course there’s your office intern Venus Goff, looking smugly right back at you. Of course she knows just what the ship should be called, but all she’s mouthing at you is “Shippy McShipface” — or at least you hope that’s what it is. Oh, to hell with it. Who says you can’t name a ship after yourself?

No hidden options AFAIK; runs through choice-0 to choice-3.

[Deep Communism]

This issue's premise is sad. But on the bright side, Casablanca.

#1424: Here’s Looking at Zoo, Kid

The Issue

Following the abolition of zoos, an ecological report has found that a large proportion of released zoo animals have not survived in the wild because they spent most of their lives in captivity.

The Debate

1. “I totally saw this coming,” asserts a pair of talking giraffe’s legs, who you realise is actually the former director of the @@CAPITAL@@ Zoo wearing a giraffe costume on stilts. “It’s a sad scene, isn’t it? Those poor giraffes alone in the wilderness with no way of defending themselves from predators like those supercilious tigers. The public are understandably mad that these exotic animals have no chance of surviving in the wild. The answer is simple: let us recapture all of our animals to save them from themselves and we’ll re-exhibit them once more.”

2. “If you knew this would happen, then why didn’t you prepare the animals before their release?” questions the notoriously catty Secretary of Wildlife Conservation, Beryl Caskin. “Training and rehabilitation are what we need here. We’ll get our people into the wild to hone these animals’ survival instincts by demonstrating to them the behaviours that they will need to survive. For example, we could teach tigers how to stalk their prey or giraffes to whack would-be predators with their necks. A film crew can even follow us around, which will raise public awareness on wildlife conservation without the need for zoos.”

3. “Any human intervention is too much human intervention,” says Konrad Scheer, the head of the Special Protection of Animals Movement. “Besides, the government should be focusing on highly endangered animals such as the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ horny toad. Can you believe there’s only twenty of them left? We can’t risk their extinction. It would be nice if we instead left endangered animal species alone in their own protected reserves, away from other animals, with a never-ending supply of food.”

Issue by The ASI-BCI Human Merger Nation of Socio Polor

Edited by Electrum

[Valentine Z]

Thanks for the report, I appreciate it! ^^

I got #1424 on another nation - Beryl Caskin is definitely fixed. The 3rd option's person seems to be @@RANDOMNAME@@.

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

I'm not 100% sure how helpful multiple reports are, but I got #1422 too:

Who Comes Up With This Ship?

It’s a terrible day. Woken early from dreams of joyfully frolicking wolves, you are dragged to the naming ceremony of the latest Authoritaria-Imperian Navy ship. Lashed by more rain than an Albionian could cope with, the sky is the same steely grey as the oversized hulk of metal everyone is making a fuss about, and thanks to the woolen kilt your advisors insisted was “traditional”, the wind is whistling right where you don’t want it to. You thought it couldn’t get any worse, but just as you grasp the ceremonial bottle of bubbly and utter the words, “I hereby name this ship...” you realise you have no idea what the damned thing is to be called.

1. One glance at Sophie Chekov, your Minister for Creative Solutions, tells you she won’t be any help today. For once bereft of ideas, she’s studiously avoiding your gaze by pretending to examine a spot off on the distant horizon. What would get her goat? Ah, of course — a cold, efficient and utterly unimaginative name. 



2. To her right is the perpetually nervous Religious Affairs Minister, Bajrakitiyabha James, fiddling with her prayer beads as she considers her many religious affairs. You can just imagine her reedy, patronising voice telling you to name the ship after a devout godly figure. Of course, there’s some she’d prefer to forget — who was that patron saint of altar boys?

3. Resolutely staring past your left shoulder is the ever-pompous Rear Admiral Fahd Preisner. What would wipe the smirk off his meaty jowls? Perhaps a dashing, daring name of old, like “Warspite” or “Thundercracker”. But with a twist...

4. And of course there’s your office intern Lana Winters, looking smugly right back at you. Of course she knows just what the ship should be called, but all she’s mouthing at you is “Shippy McShipface” — or at least you hope that’s what it is. Oh, to hell with it. Who says you can’t name a ship after yourself?


Issue by The Oh My GOD! What were they thinking! He's a MODERATOR! of Sedgistan
Edited by Pogaria

Custom fields are in yellow; all names are in orange.

Looking at your report a few posts up, Valentine Z, it looks like all names are random.

[Sollens]

For issue 1135, I did not receive option 4 despite not having nudism nor having it at the time of receiving the issue. Perhaps the condition isn’t correct?

[Valentine Z]

@ Authoritaria-Imperia: More the better, no worries! Or you can just give me what names you got, that works too. ♥ But either way is fine, I am not stingy. ^^

@ Sollens: I will look into it, thank you. ^^

[The Free Joy State]

For issue 1135, I did not receive option 4 despite not having nudism nor having it at the time of receiving the issue. Perhaps the condition isn’t correct?

In future, please report future suspected validity issues on this thread.

Option four has a different restriction to not mandating nudity (I can see backstage that you only ceased mandating nudity on the 3rd December 2020), and Sollens does not meet that validity.

[Electrum]

This issue's premise is sad. But on the bright side, Casablanca.

Only on NationStates can you have issues referencing Casablanca and Tiger King (the latter reference was originally on Tony the Tiger, but we used that in an earlier issue so it had to be changed)

[Sollens]

For issue 1135, I did not receive option 4 despite not having nudism nor having it at the time of receiving the issue. Perhaps the condition isn’t correct?

In future, please report future suspected validity issues on this thread.

Option four has a different restriction to not mandating nudity (I can see backstage that you only ceased mandating nudity on the 3rd December 2020), and Sollens does not meet that validity.

Got it. Thanks. And yes, I did just stop restricting nudity but it still was before I received this issue. Thanks for the info, though.

[Rocain Founder]

Issue #238 has an unspoilered option, which one of my puppets, Cain EE v0, received today. The spoilers show 5 options, but the HTML shows that this puppet received option 6, without option 5. Option 6 has the exact same text as that shown in the spoiler for option 5, except that Bigtopian Blues is replaced by Brancalandian Blues. I presume a close duplicate of either option 4 or option 6 is the actual option 5.

Cain EE v0 has a fairly large number of active policies, including Socialism, but I can't see any with a direct connection to either the issue's subject matter, or the details of options 4 and 6.

My puppets answer their issues via a script. I've saved a copy of the XML associated with this issue, as well as a formatted copy of the issue text, in case they would be useful in pursuing this.

This issue will remain unanswered for a while until I can update the script to get around this little problem.

[Westinor]

Issue #238 has an unspoilered option, which one of my puppets, Cain EE v0, received today. The spoilers show 5 options, but the HTML shows that this puppet received option 6, without option 5. Option 6 has the exact same text as that shown in the spoiler for option 5, except that Bigtopian Blues is replaced by Brancalandian Blues. I presume a close duplicate of either option 4 or option 6 is the actual option 5.

Cain EE v0 has a fairly large number of active policies, including Socialism, but I can't see any with a direct connection to either the issue's subject matter, or the details of options 4 and 6.

My puppets answer their issues via a script. I've saved a copy of the XML associated with this issue, as well as a formatted copy of the issue text, in case they would be useful in pursuing this.

This issue will remain unanswered for a while until I can update the script to get around this little problem.

Curious. The term itself seems to be referring to a sort of drug... is there possibly a policy on your nation that restricts recreational drug usage, or something similar?

[Rocain Founder]

Curious. The term itself seems to be referring to a sort of drug... is there possibly a policy on your nation that restricts recreational drug usage, or something similar?

Here is the full list of policies:

Autocracy
Capital Punishment
Compulsory Organ Harvesting
Conscription
ID Chips
No Dissent
No Emigration
No Gambling
No Internet
Parental Licensing
Prudism
Socialism
Weapons of Mass Destruction

There might be issue answers in its past which didn't rise to the level of a policy that affected recreational drugs, but I don't have useful records of much of its past. The value of its Drug Use stat is currently 48.8, if there is any information to be gleaned from that.

[Paffnia]

Found a number of options for 1389 and 1390; differences in red:

#1389: Die Some Other Day

The Story So Far

You and your staff are huddled into an underground bunker, waiting for the end to come.

The Issue

The minutes pass in relative silence. Occasionally, the stillness is punctuated by a sniffle or a whimper that seems amplified in the confined space. A few distant rumbles can be heard, but nothing that sounds like the expected obliteration of everyone’s hopes and dreams. Suddenly, Defense Minister Mack Rimera’s voice cuts through the rising tide of whispered conversations: “What the hell? Chief, we’ve got an incoming call.”

The Debate

Internal option 0. Rimera steps away from the control panel where he was entering the coordinates for targeted enemy cities and ushers you over to a nearby phone, where a red light is blinking. He presses a few buttons to put the call on speakerphone. “@@LEADER@@? Is that you?” The static-obscured voice of James Bont is barely audible, causing Rimera to frantically increase the volume. “I was able to infiltrate the enemy’s bases by posing as a technician. The whole operation here is being run by a rather boorish fellow by the name of General Stuppa. As the diplomatic conflict intensified, Stuppa was constantly arguing with Colonel Sinwat, his second in command. General Stuppa kept shouting that @@NAME@@ was a threat that needed to be taken out preemptively. Even after some sort of attack by our military, Colonel Sinwat wouldn’t support any retaliation that would lead to mutually assured destruction. General Stuppa accused his officer of treason, pulled out his sidearm, and shot him in the head, then took his nuclear launch key. Stuppa and the remaining officers immediately launched all of the ballistic missiles straight at @@NAME@@. Fortunately... I had already disarmed each of the warheads.” Bont’s closing words are obscured by a deafening cheer from the people surrounding you.

Internal option 1. Rimera steps away from the control panel where he was entering the coordinates for targeted enemy cities and ushers you over to a nearby phone, where a red light is blinking. He presses a few buttons to put the call on speakerphone. “@@LEADER@@? Is that you?” The static-obscured voice of James Bont is barely audible, causing Rimera to frantically increase the volume. “I was able to infiltrate the enemy’s bases by posing as a technician... at least until they caught me. Thankfully, I was able to swipe a guard’s phone. The whole operation here is being run by a rather boorish fellow by the name of General Stuppa. As the diplomatic conflict intensified, Stuppa was constantly arguing with Colonel Sinwat, his second in command. General Stuppa kept shouting that @@NAME@@ was a threat that needed to be taken out preemptively. Even after some sort of attack by our military, Colonel Sinwat wouldn’t support any retaliation that would lead to mutually assured destruction. General Stuppa accused his officer of treason, pulled out his sidearm, and shot him in the head, then took his nuclear launch key. Stuppa and the remaining officers immediately launched all of the ballistic missiles straight at @@NAME@@. Fortunately... I had already disarmed each of the warheads before they caught me.” Bont’s closing words are obscured by a deafening cheer from the people surrounding you.

Internal option 2. Rimera ushers you over to a nearby phone, where a red light is blinking. He presses a few buttons to put the call on speakerphone. “@@LEADER@@? Is that you?” The static-obscured voice of James Bont is barely audible, causing Rimera to frantically increase the volume. “I was able to infiltrate the enemy’s bases by posing as a technician. The whole operation here is being run by a rather boorish fellow by the name of General Stuppa. As the diplomatic conflict intensified, Stuppa was constantly arguing with Colonel Sinwat, his second in command. General Stuppa kept shouting that @@NAME@@ was a threat that needed to be taken out preemptively. Even after some sort of attack by our military, Colonel Sinwat wouldn’t support any retaliation that would lead to mutually assured destruction. General Stuppa accused his officer of treason, pulled out his sidearm, and shot him in the head, then took his nuclear launch key. Stuppa and the remaining officers immediately launched all of the ballistic missiles straight at @@NAME@@. Fortunately... I had already disarmed each of the warheads.” Bont’s closing words are obscured by a deafening cheer from the people surrounding you.

Internal option 3. Rimera ushers you over to a nearby phone, where a red light is blinking. He presses a few buttons to put the call on speakerphone. “@@LEADER@@? Is that you?” The static-obscured voice of James Bont is barely audible, causing Rimera to frantically increase the volume. “I was able to infiltrate the enemy’s bases by posing as a technician... at least until they caught me. Thankfully, I was able to swipe a guard’s phone. The whole operation here is being run by a rather boorish fellow by the name of General Stuppa. As the diplomatic conflict intensified, Stuppa was constantly arguing with Colonel Sinwat, his second in command. General Stuppa kept shouting that @@NAME@@ was a threat that needed to be taken out preemptively. Even after some sort of attack by our military, Colonel Sinwat wouldn’t support any retaliation that would lead to mutually assured destruction. General Stuppa accused his officer of treason, pulled out his sidearm, and shot him in the head, then took his nuclear launch key. Stuppa and the remaining officers immediately launched all of the ballistic missiles straight at @@NAME@@. Fortunately... I had already disarmed each of the warheads before they caught me.” Bont’s closing words are obscured by a deafening cheer from the people surrounding you.

Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria

Edited by Pogaria

#1390: Spectrum of Solace

The Story So Far

The enemy’s nuclear weapons failed to detonate due to the courageous actions of your secret agent.

The Issue

Although East Lebatuck remains angry with you due to recent events, they have insisted that they did not intend for things to escalate this far. As an apology for this sobering occurrence, their contrite government has arranged peace talks in an attempt to defuse the situation.

The Debate

Internal option 0. “I’d like to personally apologize for the... um... missile incident,” admits Chairman Joseph Rushev of East Lebatuck, looking more sheepish than you have ever seen him. “General Stuppa was definitely not authorized to initiate a nuclear strike or take any action that would result in our mutually assured destruction. He and his officers have been relieved of duty... permanently. As a token of our goodwill, your pilot who was shot down and your agent who managed to infiltrate our military bases will be returned to @@NAME@@ unharmed. If you are willing to sign a non-aggression treaty and pay reparations for the brave warriors of communism who were needlessly killed, I think we can put this whole unpleasant situation behind us. What do you say?”

Internal option 1. “I’d like to personally apologize for the... um... missile incident,” admits Chairman Joseph Rushev of East Lebatuck, looking more sheepish than you have ever seen him. “General Stuppa was definitely not authorized to initiate a nuclear strike or take any action that would result in our mutually assured destruction. He and his officers have been relieved of duty... permanently. As a token of our goodwill, your agent who managed to infiltrate our military bases will be returned to @@NAME@@ unharmed. If you are willing to sign a non-aggression treaty and pay reparations for the brave warriors of communism who were needlessly killed, I think we can put this whole unpleasant situation behind us. What do you say?”

Internal option 2. “Sure, go ahead and sign their treaty, but it’s not enough,” sighs Maureen Dusk, who is softly playing ‘Sweet Home @@CAPITAL@@’ on her guitar. “This incident clearly proves that weapons of mass destruction can no longer be allowed to exist. I spoke with my counterpart in East Lebatuck, and it appears that they are also willing to disarm if we do the same. It’s a bold move, but I think you’re the sort of brave visionary who can lead us into a new era of peace, free from the scourge of WMDs.”

Internal option 3. “You’ve practically destroyed our island!” weeps President “Doc” Moreno of San Vitenzo, who is incongruously wearing a suit jacket and tie with shorts and sandals. How are my people supposed to ‘put this situation behind us’ when you’ve bombed their houses and crops into oblivion? Even Almighty Bokonon won’t be able to undo this calamity. After you sign whatever treaty East Lebatuck is offering, you must allow our people to settle in @@NAME@@... and give us a little cash to ease our troubles. Isn’t that what neighbors do for one another?”

Internal option 4. “You’ve practically destroyed our island!” weeps President “Doc” Moreno of San Vitenzo, who is incongruously wearing a suit jacket and tie with shorts and sandals. How are my people supposed to ‘put this situation behind us’ when you’ve poisoned our water and withered our crops? Even Almighty Bokonon won’t be able to undo this calamity. After you sign whatever treaty East Lebatuck is offering, you must allow our people to settle in @@NAME@@... and give us a little cash to ease our troubles. Isn’t that what neighbors do for one another?”

Internal option 5. “Reparations! We’re not paying any stinkin’ reparations!” blusters Defense Minister Mack Rimera, who has turned a rather alarming shade of red. “Have you forgotten how they almost annihilated us? Yes, we would have done the same thing to them if it weren’t for that phone call from our secret agent — and we definitely killed a bunch of their soldiers. What did they think would happen when they brought nuclear missiles to our borders? This treaty is just a slap in the face — and we’re definitely not disarming or letting in waves of immigrants. You need to walk away from the negotiating table, and hit them with sanctions for good measure. They’re our enemy forevermore.”

Internal option 6. “Reparations! We’re not paying any stinkin’ reparations!” blusters Defense Minister Mack Rimera, who has turned a rather alarming shade of red. “Have you forgotten how they almost annihilated us? Yes, we definitely killed a bunch of their soldiers. What did they think would happen when they brought nuclear missiles to our borders? This treaty is just a slap in the face — and we’re definitely not disarming or letting in waves of immigrants. You need to walk away from the negotiating table, and hit them with sanctions for good measure. They’re our enemy forevermore.”

Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria

Edited by Pogaria

[Rocain Founder]

Here's an update on issue #238. Another of my puppets just received this issue. It got the version where option 6 was suppressed and option 5 was present. This allowed me to determine the following.

The text given in the spoiler is that for option 6, with the replacement of "Bigtopian" with "Brancalandian".

The text for #5 replaces the words "war pigs" with "war pigs and all that enlistment hoopla" (and also speaks of Bancalandian rather than Bigtopian Blues). Which makes it clear that option 5 is for nations without Conscription, and option 6 for nations with Conscription. This corresponds to the Policies of the two puppet nations that have recently received this issue.

[Ruritane]

Our nation is a medieval state where everyone, even the men, wears dresses. And I seem to be seeing a lot of "Leader chooses something" issues lately.

#1425 @@LEADER@@’s New Clothes

The Issue

In the midst of another busy day, you trip on a misplaced paperweight and tear your favorite pants on a nail haphazardly jutting out of your office’s door frame.

The Debate

1. “Oh, this just won’t do!” tuts your aunt, an aspiring seamstress, holding two giant off-color swatches against your torn pants leg. “I’ll get this fixed right up, dearie! A few patches here and stitches there and they’ll be as good as new! Sad that so few people make-do-and-mend these days. Now, pass me your little pants.”

2. Salvatore Matei, representative of the ancient tailors The Leader’s Men, strolls into your office. “It is time for you get new clothes anyway. Let us ditch these old rags and get you something more stylish. I see a classic yet breathable fabric that is sweat and bullet resistant, tailored to flatter your form and worn with ascots — not brogues.”

3. Two brightly dressed men stumble into your office, with tailoring tape around their necks. “We’ve got just the thing for you, your mightiness! The greatest clothes in history, made just for your glorious self.” The first man flicks open a suitcase, revealing... nothing. “As you see, this fine cloth is lighter than air. Feel the fabric. It is too exquisite to waste on those buffoons at the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Clothing Council. Surely, oh intelligent one, you can feel the delicate weave? These clothes are the future! People will praise your forward-thinking. Don’t worry about the price; we’ll just forward our small fee to your accountant.”

4. “Malarkey! Why don’t you just dress like everyone else?” chimes your gardener through the window, watering the flowers on your desk along with everything and everyone in the room. “It’ll cost the taxpayer less, you’ll be more relatable, and you won’t need to fuss about all that fancy-schmancy stuff! Heck, why not encourage all government officials to wear clothes that are affordable to the average @@DEMONYM@@!”

Issue by The Empire of the New Sun of The United Lands of Ash

Edited by The Free Joy State

[Valentine Z]

I have been putting this off and AFK for so long, I apologise for the delay! With luck, and hope, I will be putting up the next changelog tonight, or anytime soon.

I better get around doing this before next week, because as I might said in a few other places, I have conscript to go for, and being restricted to a phone can be a detriment. >,<

[Racoda]

Our nation is a medieval state where everyone, even the men, wears dresses. And I seem to be seeing a lot of "Leader chooses something" issues lately.

#1425 @@LEADER@@’s New Clothes

The Issue

In the midst of another busy day, you trip on a misplaced paperweight and tear your favorite pants on a nail haphazardly jutting out of your office’s door frame.

The Debate

1. “Oh, this just won’t do!” tuts your aunt, an aspiring seamstress, holding two giant off-color swatches against your torn pants leg. “I’ll get this fixed right up, dearie! A few patches here and stitches there and they’ll be as good as new! Sad that so few people make-do-and-mend these days. Now, pass me your little pants.”

2. Salvatore Matei, representative of the ancient tailors The Leader’s Men, strolls into your office. “It is time for you get new clothes anyway. Let us ditch these old rags and get you something more stylish. I see a classic yet breathable fabric that is sweat and bullet resistant, tailored to flatter your form and worn with ascots — not brogues.”

3. Two brightly dressed men stumble into your office, with tailoring tape around their necks. “We’ve got just the thing for you, your mightiness! The greatest clothes in history, made just for your glorious self.” The first man flicks open a suitcase, revealing... nothing. “As you see, this fine cloth is lighter than air. Feel the fabric. It is too exquisite to waste on those buffoons at the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Clothing Council. Surely, oh intelligent one, you can feel the delicate weave? These clothes are the future! People will praise your forward-thinking. Don’t worry about the price; we’ll just forward our small fee to your accountant.”

4. “Malarkey! Why don’t you just dress like everyone else?” chimes your gardener through the window, watering the flowers on your desk along with everything and everyone in the room. “It’ll cost the taxpayer less, you’ll be more relatable, and you won’t need to fuss about all that fancy-schmancy stuff! Heck, why not encourage all government officials to wear clothes that are affordable to the average @@DEMONYM@@!”

Issue by The Empire of the New Sun of The United Lands of Ash

Edited by The Free Joy State

I can confirm this (including Salvatore Matei being a random (male?) name). However, the option listed as 4 is really 5:

Code: Select all

<button type="submit" name="choice-4" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>

And I suspect that the option listed as "3" is really 4.
Here is what I got (option numbers inspected from HTML):

#1425 @@LEADER@@’s New Clothes

The Issue

In the midst of another busy day, you trip on a misplaced paperweight and tear your favorite pants on a nail haphazardly jutting out of your office’s door frame.

The Debate

1. “Oh, this just won’t do!” tuts your aunt, an aspiring seamstress, holding two giant off-color swatches against your torn pants leg. “I’ll get this fixed right up, dearie! A few patches here and stitches there and they’ll be as good as new! Sad that so few people make-do-and-mend these days. Now, pass me your little pants.”

2. @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, representative of the ancient tailors The Leader’s Men, strolls into your office. “It is time for you get new clothes anyway. Let us ditch these old rags and get you something more stylish. I see a classic yet breathable fabric that is sweat and bullet resistant, tailored to flatter your form and worn with ascots — not brogues.”

3. Two brightly dressed tailors stumble into your office. “We’ve got just the thing for you, your mightiness! The greatest clothes in history, made just for your glorious self.” The first tailor flicks open a suitcase, revealing... nothing. “As you see, this fine cloth is lighter than air. Feel the fabric. Many have begged for it. Surely, oh intelligent one, you can feel the delicate weave? These clothes are the future! People will praise your forward-thinking. Don’t worry about the price; we’ll just forward our small fee to your accountant.”

5. “Malarkey! Why don’t you just dress like everyone else?” chimes your gardener through the window, watering the flowers on your desk along with everything and everyone in the room. “It’ll cost the taxpayer less, you’ll be more relatable, and you won’t need to fuss about all that fancy-schmancy stuff! Heck, why not encourage all government officials to wear clothes that are affordable to the average @@DEMONYM@@!”

Issue by The Empire of the New Sun of The United Lands of Ash

Edited by The Free Joy State

[Rocain Founder]

Issue #411 is shown in the spoilers as having 4 options, with 1 and 2 dependent on whether the nation has corporal punishment or not. This is no longer correct, assuming it once was. One of my puppets just received this issue with only options 1, 2 and 3 (0, 1 and 2 in the XML from the API), with the text the spoilers think is associated with options 1, 3 and 4. I cannot rule out that there is an option 4 with the text of option 1 and a restriction to nations with corporal punishment, but this seems unlikely.

I can provide the issue listing generated by my script and/or a trace of the XML generated by the API if either would be of any use.