NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Paffnia]

Found a second option for #1402:

#1402: You Only Negotiate Twice

The Story So Far

You agreed to remove your missiles from San Vitenzo in exchange for the United Federation removing their missiles from Eagleton Air Base.

The Issue

After a series of secret negotiations, everyone has shaken hands and made a commitment to disarm. You and an aide have met with President Ken J. Finnedy in a beautiful glass-fronted conference room in San Vitenzo to sign the final agreement.

The Debate

Internal option 0. “Good morning! Are you ready to make history? Let me just get my ceremonial signing pen.” Finnedy reaches into his coat pocket and removes not a pen, but a Smyth & Weston revolver, which he points directly at your chest. “Have you noticed that world leaders like ourselves never get frisked for weapons? I can’t remember the last time I had to go through a metal detector. Seems like a security flaw, don’t you think? Well, I digress. I hope you didn’t actually expect me to remove my own missiles. You see, I didn’t get to be President of the United Federation by giving up power every time I had a disagreement with someone. Real leaders do whatever it takes to seize power and claw our way to the top. Although I firmly believe that the only good commie is a dead commie, this isn’t personal — it’s just politics. As soon as you’re dead...” Suddenly, the window shatters as Natasha Milanova crashes into the room in a hail of glass fragments, closely followed by her @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ flag parachute. Milanova leaps toward Finnedy, kicks the revolver out of his hand, and slams him into the floor. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping in, Comrade Leader. Your aide pressed the panic button — and I see that mister Imperialist in Chief is up to his old tricks. Well, here’s how it’s going to go, Finnedy. I discovered your plans to send an armada to @@NAME@@ to bombard us. To prevent that from happening, I secretly removed a warhead from one of your nuclear missiles before it was loaded onto a submarine at Libertyville. I handed it off to one of my colleagues, who has hidden it in your capital city, ready for detonation at a moment’s notice. Either you sign that agreement and follow through with each of its terms, or your ‘glorious free-market paradise’ is going to be a victim of your own hubris. Are we clear?” Finnedy nods and quickly scribbles his name on the agreement. “Good. Now get out of here and don’t threaten @@NAME@@ ever again, or your capital will become a radioactive crater faster than you can say ‘hedge fund manager’.” Milanova turns toward you as Finnedy and his aide scurry out of the room. “Let’s go home, boss.”

Internal option 1. “Good morning! Are you ready to make history? Let me just get my ceremonial signing pen.” Finnedy reaches into his coat pocket and removes not a pen, but a Smyth & Weston revolver, which he points directly at your chest. “Have you noticed that world leaders like ourselves never get frisked for weapons? I can’t remember the last time I had to go through a metal detector. Seems like a security flaw, don’t you think? Well, I digress. I hope you didn’t actually expect me to remove my own missiles. You see, I didn’t get to be President of the United Federation by giving up power every time I had a disagreement with someone. Real leaders do whatever it takes to seize power and claw our way to the top. Although I firmly believe that the only good commie is a dead commie, this isn’t personal — it’s just politics. As soon as you’re dead...” Suddenly, the window shatters as Natasha Milanova crashes into the room in a hail of glass fragments, closely followed by her @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ flag parachute. Milanova leaps toward Finnedy, kicks the revolver out of his hand, and slams him into the floor. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping in, Comrade Leader. Your aide pressed the panic button — and I see that mister Imperialist in Chief is up to his old tricks. Well, here’s how it’s going to go, Finnedy. I discovered your plans to send an armada to @@NAME@@ to bombard us. To prevent that from happening, I secretly removed a warhead from one of your nuclear missiles before it was loaded onto a submarine at Libertyville. I handed it off to one of my colleagues, who has hidden it in your capital city, ready for detonation at a moment’s notice. Either you sign that agreement and follow through with each of its terms, which include some generous financial aid for San Vitenzo, or your ‘glorious free-market paradise’ is going to be a victim of your own hubris. Are we clear?” Finnedy nods and quickly scribbles his name on the agreement. “Good. Now get out of here and don’t threaten @@NAME@@ ever again, or your capital will become a radioactive crater faster than you can say ‘hedge fund manager’.” Milanova turns toward you as Finnedy and his aide scurry out of the room. “Let’s go home, boss.”

Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria

Edited by Pogaria

Also, in #1401, Option 2, "Rhein Museum" should be "@@NAME@@".

[Racoda]

I got this on two nations. Replaced the random names. Pretty confident they're male/female (great-uncle, handbag). In the case of the other random names, I got mirrored male and female names on the two nations, so those I'm sure are not gender-specific.

#1431: Just Deserts for Desertion? [Baggieland; ed: Pogaria]

Every year, the nation comes together to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in defence of @@NAME@@. While the majority of the population partakes in this act of remembrance, a small number of families dread this day — the relatives of those who were executed after being found guilty of desertion. Recently released documents have suggested that many were killed as a result of sham trials.

1. “My great-uncle @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@ was no coward,” sobs @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_sobber@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, as she cradles a photo of her relative. “The military records show that he retreated from combat while under attack. However, his letters to his wife explain that he was trying to get to higher ground so that he could pick off the enemy with his sniper rifle. He was accused of abandoning his post and was tried by officers who weren’t anywhere near him at the time, all without a lawyer present. All I ask is for a posthumous pardon — for him and any other veterans who were illegitimately convicted — so that at the next remembrance service, I can lay a wreath with pride knowing that he served his country.”

2. “That’s preposterous!” proclaims General @@RANDOMNAME_general@@, as @@HE_general@@ stares at @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_sobber@@ with suspicion. “Pardoning those deserters would be an insult to those who died honourably on the battlefield. Moreover, everyone was tried fairly by officers who were proficient in the laws of the day. To be quite honest, I feel the army has gone too soft in recent years and stricter punishments for cowardice should be introduced.”

3. “Why is it only the deceased being considered for pardons?” probes @@RANDOMNAME_specialist@@, a specialist in criminal law, as @@HE_specialist@@ grasps the lapels of @@HIS_specialist@@ jacket. “One of my clients in the armed forces was sentenced to hard labor after a very dubious trial. Critical evidence was declared inadmissible, and the eyewitness statements were questionable at best. We should set up a special commission to re-evaluate all of these dodgy convictions. Furthermore, all military tribunals should be replaced with ordinary civilian trials that have proper oversight from our judiciary.”

4. “Let’s test these blighters to see if cowardice runs in their blood,” suggests @@RANDOMNAME_director@@, your Director of Covert Operations, as @@HE_director@@ discreetly clips a tiny spy camera to @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_sobber@@’s handbag. “We can send them out to nations with whom we have not-so-friendly relations, Blackacre for one. Put them on a dangerous espionage mission, such as stealing a sample of those bio-weapons we all know they’re working on. If they succeed... Grandpappy gets his pardon. We might even find ourselves a few decent spies — they’re so difficult to come by these days.”

[Paffnia]

Clearing up the options for #1397:

#1397: On @@LEADER@@’s Secret Service

The Story So Far

Secret agent Natasha Milanova is on assignment at the United Federation’s Libertyville naval base.

The Issue

You and your advisors are gathered around the table in a secure meeting room to hear the latest updates from your secret agent, whose static-distorted voice is currently emanating from a phone in the center of the table.

The Debate

Internal option 0. “Good morning. I regret to inform you that I will require some assistance,” declares Milanova, who doesn’t betray any sense of emotion. “During my investigations, I overheard a naval officer by the name of Captain Duffle who was planning some type of ‘counter-attack’ on @@NAME@@. I didn’t hear many of the details, but I think something big is being planned at base headquarters. The problem is that it is constantly guarded by a battalion of elite troops from the United Federation’s Violet Berets. No one gets in or out without the top admiral’s explicit approval. I need someone in HQ to hack into the enemy’s personnel files and make it look like I’m an auditor who was sent by President Finnedy to perform a surprise inspection. Can you make it happen?”

Internal option 1. “Good morning. I regret to inform you that I will require some assistance,” declares Milanova, who doesn’t betray any sense of emotion. “While sabotaging the fuel lines on a Federation destroyer, I overheard a naval officer by the name of Captain Duffle who was planning some type of ‘counter-attack’ on @@NAME@@. I didn’t hear many of the details, but I think something big is being planned at base headquarters. The problem is that it is constantly guarded by a battalion of elite troops from the United Federation’s Violet Berets. No one gets in or out without the top admiral’s explicit approval. I need someone in HQ to hack into the enemy’s personnel files and make it look like I’m an auditor who was sent by President Finnedy to perform a surprise inspection. Can you make it happen?”

Internal option 2. “That’s not going to work,” asserts Defense Minister Rolan Malinovich, twitching nervously as he continues to gulp coffee from an oversize mug. “The enemy is going to see right through that plan. Remember the time Milanova tried to pass as a Sakuran counter-terrorism operative? What a debacle. If she’s captured, we’ll be completely cut off from our only source of information about the Federation’s military deployments. I think Milanova should just keep her ear to the ground and try to uncover more of this plan without assuming any unnecessary risks.”

Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria

Edited by Pogaria

[Valentine Z]

Valentine’s Changelog 025

---

You just got Cyberpunk'ed.

- Added 2 issues.
- Fixed some macros.
- Fixed options for a few issues inside of MADness issue chain.

Changes made to the threads can be seen here.

EDIT: I missed writing in Section 4 with recently reported issues, in particular #1420 still being TBD instead of added. I will rectify this next changelog, sorry about that!

[TalAkMaChen]

Update to #1421:
Some italics are missing, i.e.
1: new book Cogeato Ergo Sum: I Eat, Therefore I Am.
2: Ballet corps de ballet
3: crown Miss Mosquito — the thinnest, most dietetically controlled woman in %%NAME%% — and provide

[Marxmeans]

#1432: Oh Dear [Vaddeem; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue
Shared videos and whispered rumours of a strange creature lurking in the woods near @@CAPITAL@@ have been going viral on the internet.

The Debate
choice-0. “I heard this rascally rabid cryptid has cloven hooves, like a devil. It’s clearly a dangerous threat to @@NATION@@ and must be terminated!” exclaims Defence Secretary Elmo Thudd, adjusting the earflaps on his rabbit fur hunter’s hat. “If we allow this beast to continue roaming our land, it will surely lead to the death of hundreds! I say we deploy a couple of army battalions to hunt down and kill it before that happens!”

choice-1. “Whoa, whoa, let’s not be so hasty now!” pleads scientific researcher Reynard Moulder, whose T-shirt declares that he wants to believe. “Look, I agree that this leather-skinned beast cannot be allowed to roam @@NATION@@, but instead of killing it, we should be looking to learn from its mysteries. I propose we use Kirlian cameras and dowsing to locate its mystic trail, then capture it for study.”

choice-2. “No way man, that’d be a blasphemy against nature!” yells New Age mystic and religious leader Jefferson Aeroglider. “I glimpsed this glorious creature and saw it had antlered horns, like Cernunnos or Naigamesha! Trying to capture the divine would be an insult against Gaia! We should just block off the forest where it lives and create a sanctified nature reserve where profane humanity is forbidden, save for the occasional religious rite or fertility ritual.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

choice-3. “Kill it, experiment on it, worship it... Come on everyone, are we really this stupid?” asks unemployed TV personality Adam Fierce. “This so-called ‘new creature’ is obviously a hoax to troll people, or maybe some marketing gimmick to promote an upcoming movie. I mean, the quality of the videos is terrible! One so-called witness claimed that the beast couldn’t see him because he was dressed in orange. Does that sound like a real thing to you? What I propose we do is promote critical thinking, with a state-funded TV show centred around myth-busting. Why yes, I am available...”

[The Candy Of Bottles]

#1432: Oh Dear [Vaddeem; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue
Shared videos and whispered rumours of a strange creature lurking in the woods near @@CAPITAL@@ have been going viral on the internet.

The Debate
choice-0. “I heard this rascally rabid cryptid has cloven hooves, like a devil. It’s clearly a dangerous threat to @@NATION@@ and must be terminated!” exclaims Defence Secretary Elmo Thudd, adjusting the earflaps on his rabbit fur hunter’s hat. “If we allow this beast to continue roaming our land, it will surely lead to the death of hundreds! I say we deploy a couple of army battalions to hunt down and kill it before that happens!”

choice-1. “Whoa, whoa, let’s not be so hasty now!” pleads scientific researcher Reynard Moulder, whose T-shirt declares that he wants to believe. “Look, I agree that this leather-skinned beast cannot be allowed to roam @@NATION@@, but instead of killing it, we should be looking to learn from its mysteries. I propose we use Kirlian cameras and dowsing to locate its mystic trail, then capture it for study.”

choice-2. “No way man, that’d be a blasphemy against nature!” yells New Age mystic and religious leader Jefferson Aeroglider. “I glimpsed this glorious creature and saw it had antlered horns, like Cernunnos or Naigamesha! Trying to capture the divine would be an insult against Gaia! We should just block off the forest where it lives and create a sanctified nature reserve where profane humanity is forbidden, save for the occasional religious rite or fertility ritual.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

choice-3. “Kill it, experiment on it, worship it... Come on everyone, are we really this stupid?” asks unemployed TV personality Adam Fierce. “This so-called ‘new creature’ is obviously a hoax to troll people, or maybe some marketing gimmick to promote an upcoming movie. I mean, the quality of the videos is terrible! One so-called witness claimed that the beast couldn’t see him because he was dressed in orange. Does that sound like a real thing to you? What I propose we do is promote critical thinking, with a state-funded TV show centred around myth-busting. Why yes, I am available...”

No input on the rest of the names, but there's no way Adam Fierce is random. Clearly a play on Adam Savage, of Mythbusters fame.

[Sweet Azure Skies]

No input on the rest of the names, but there's no way Adam Fierce is random. Clearly a play on Adam Savage, of Mythbusters fame.

Elmo Thudd's name and description sounds like that of cartoon character Elmer Fudd, hunter and nemesis of the wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny.
The researcher Reynard Moulder alludes to The X-Files' Fox Mulder ("renard" is French for "fox") who was also known for "wanting to believe".
The New Age mystic leader Jefferson Aeroglider is likely meant to suggest psychedelic rock band Jefferson Airplane/Starship.

[Racoda]

Got the missing option in #1406:

1. “We need to get Scarpone off the streets, and see his criminal empire broken up,” demands Prohibition Enforcement Officer Hayley Etness, bursting into your office, slamming her fists on your desk, and demonstrating half a dozen other angry cop clichés. “The only charge we can definitely make stick is a parking violation... but maybe we can arrange for the sentence he receives for that infraction to reflect the crimes we all know he committed but can’t prove. Put him away for ten to twenty, and we’ll be striking a blow against organised crime!”

Looks like Hayley Etness isn't a random name, it appears in the 2. variation. No idea what the eligibility is.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

No input on the rest of the names, but there's no way Adam Fierce is random. Clearly a play on Adam Savage, of Mythbusters fame.

Elmo Thudd's name and description sounds like that of cartoon character Elmer Fudd, hunter and nemesis of the wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny.
The researcher Reynard Moulder alludes to The X-Files' Fox Mulder ("renard" is French for "fox") who was also known for "wanting to believe".
The New Age mystic leader Jefferson Aeroglider is likely meant to suggest psychedelic rock band Jefferson Airplane/Starship.

Oh yeah, thinking back, Fudd did come to mind briefly. Also:

1,433: Green Thumbs Sore

The Issue
Sensing a lucrative business opportunity, several major corporations attempted to capitalize on the nation’s eco-friendly attitude by marketing every single one of their products with dubious claims such as “environmentally safe,” “divinely blessed by Mother Nature herself,” and everything in between. With scores of activists grumbling about the “greenwashing,” the burden falls on you to broker a green peace.

The Debate
0.) “I don’t see the problem here,” says United Information Technology CEO Bob Bourdain, teasing you with some 100% recyclable organic Urists. “It’s not as though we’re lying to people: all of our product packaging contains so many pro-environment exhortations that people reading the labels basically have no choice but to embrace the green craze! If that’s not ‘all profits go towards supporting the environment,’ I don’t know what is!”

Accept

1.) “Not as though you’re lying?” shrieks random activist Gretel Harel, smacking what she assures you is not a 100% recyclable organic petition down on your desk. “This is making a mockery out of all our efforts! ‘Green this, green that’ - it has to end! If a company wants to put environmental claims in their advertising, they need to back them up with scientific facts.”

Accept

2.) “Allow me to, ahem... advertise a solution,” cackles East Lebatuckese diplomat Louis O'Bannon, spreading some ‘Splendor in Socialism’ propaganda brochures on your desk. “As long as you have greedy profit-oriented capitalists, this hoodwinking is bound to happen. If you just brought all manufacturing and merchandising under state control like we do, all comrades - I mean consumers - could make well-informed decisions about what to buy.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Apparently a Vice Delegate of Cretox State

Edited by Frieden-und Freudenland

Option numbers from page source.

[Tor-bana-ing]

This issue is nuts.

#1434: Blood on Your Nuts

The Issue

Cashew nuts are growing in popularity, and a good proportion of the domestic market is supplied by cheap imports from the Socialist Republic of Núi Và Sông. However, that nation is being criticised for its agricultural working standards, and as a major customer of its goods, @@NAME@@ is being seen as part of the problem.

The Debate

1. “Caustic shell chemicals are released by deshelling cashews, causing chronic acid burns to workers’ hands, all because Núi Và Sông growers are too stingy to provide protective gloves,” lectures May de Jong, wearing an ‘Ethical Importing Matters’ T-shirt that was probably manufactured in a Dàguó sweatshop. “Worse still, many of these workers are unpaid forced labour from so-called drug rehabilitation centres. Just so you can put your nuts in a bowl on the coffee table! We should demand that these plantations improve their working standards, and ban imports from them till they do so.”

2. “Look, if we stopped trading with every nation that has dodgy labour laws or workers with a skin rash or two, we wouldn’t be able to trade at all,” complains spice-lover Steve Larson, between mouthfuls of a delicious-smelling nut curry. “Maybe instead of restricting trade you could be supporting cashew growers in this country. We can maintain good agricultural workplace standards, and have government subsidisation allow our farmers to present competitive prices. You’d be nuts to say no to that.”

3. “I’m nuts for nuts too!” agrees your brother, grabbing a handful of cashew drupe seeds, peanut legume pods and almond kernels. “Except for hazelnuts and candlenuts, which shouldn’t count as nuts at all, in my opinion. I have to say though, this idea of using forced labour on plantations sounds like it’d be quite good for our economy. We should set something like that up.”

Issue by The AI See You of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Noahs Second Country

[Paffnia]

#485 3 isn't available to nations with the No Sports policy.

Indeed, I think the tag on #485.3 is backwards: it's only available for nations with sports. I received #485 on a nation with the "No Sports" policy and did not get Option 3.

[Juniria]

#1435: A Hot Potato

The Issue

Thanks to generous agricultural subsidies, @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ farmers have produced a record number of potatoes this year, generating a significant surplus.

The Debate

1. “This is the seventh day in a row my old lady cooked potato soup for dinner and I can’t take it anymore!” clamours Sayid von Bismarck, a farmer, dejectedly leaning on a yardstick. “We have just tons and tons of potatoes and they will all rot if we cannot sell them. The government needs to buy them from us, otherwise a year’s hard work will go to waste. Give them to the hungry, find some other use for them... just take them, please!”

2. “We just need to motivate people to buy and eat more potatoes,” explains Sigourney Croft, your Minister of Creative Solutions, attempting to juggle three potatoes and staggering as one bounces off her forehead. “How about government-sponsored comics, cartoons and movies where the superheroes derive strength from eating potatoes! The Amazing Potato Woman! The Red Russet! Yukon Booster Gold! What do you think?”

3. “This clearly shows poor planning on the part of your farmers,” grunts the People’s Ambassador from the Socialist Union of East Lebatuck. “Of course you will have a surplus if everyone decides to plant potatoes! The key is to diversify! If your neighbor Farmer Joe is planting potatoes this year, maybe you should switch to celery instead. That’s why you need a centrally planned economy. No surplus, no shortages — just eternal bliss and abundance!”

4. “This potato mountain is tangible proof that commie economics are inefficient,” asserts right-wing economist Ashley Kim, presenting you with an invoice for the advice she is about to deliver. “Subsidies distort production, and block the invisible hand of self-correcting markets. Stop agricultural subsidies. You’ll end up with a leaner industry, and some temporary hardship, but in the long run you’ll be supporting the system that creates the wealth of nations.”

Issue by The African History Celebrators of Frieden-und Freudenland

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Valentine Z]

Valentine’s Changelog 026

---

Infinity War is not the biggest crossover; "#430: Please, Sir, We Want Some More Issues" is.

- Added more issues.
- Fixed some macros, also thanks to off-site contributions on GitHub which is now added in to the forums as well. This fix can be seen here.
- Added Jutsa's Religions and Cults megalist/thread into the Intro post. ^^
- Issue 1420 added into Section 4.
- Brand new intro aesthetic! ♥

Changes made to the threads can be seen here.

[Ruritane]

Let's meet the meat. A lot of food-related issues lately.

#1436: Meat Meet

The Issue

@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ moralists are outraged, as usual. This time, they’re roasting your ambassador to the United Federation, Hermione Evans, who was revealed to have eaten fried chicken at a meeting with their Secretary of State.

The Debate

1. “I’m not going to mince my words,” says ethicist Manuel Maldonado, waving celery sticks in your face. “That jerk gamed the system to put the Secretary’s meat in her mouth. An ambassador who approves of the slaughter of innocents in the United Federation cannot be tolerated. It’s time to trim the fat and give Ambassador Evans the chop.”

2. “Can we get to the heart of the tissue - er, issue?” asks Hermione Evans, while grilling Federation Freddie’s Definitely Veggie Not Smuggled Real Beef Burgers. “Meat is an important component of the United Federation’s culture, and it would be disrespectful to refuse their national dishes. I support the ban on meat eating in @@NAME@@, but on some rare occasions, ambassadors need to accommodate their hosts for a job well done. We should be allowed to do whatever it takes to keep foreign relationships from spoiling."

3. “Sure, that saves the ambassador’s bacon,” snorts Selma Sisko, porky four-time winner of the @@CAPITAL@@ Vegetarian Hot Dog Eating Contest. “But what about us? If ambassadors are going to get their hands on meat anyway, everyone else should be able to without the law crying ‘fowl’. We can flesh out an agreement to keep some unethical practices off the table, but it is time the government stopped dictating what we can eat.”

Issue by The Red Lucky Holy Planet of Fauxia

Edited by Frieden-und Freudenland

So many meat puns. The obvious validity is vegetarianism.

[Recuecn]

It looks like for issue #1427 options 3 and 4 aren't separated in the thread here.

[Valentine Z]

It looks like for issue #1427 options 3 and 4 aren't separated in the thread here.

Oh yeah, missing a number and has very poor formatting. I will be fixing this in the next changelog!

[Rocain Founder]

Option 4 of issue #196 is apparently optional. One of my puppets (Cain M Cy0 v0 to be specific), received it with option 4 not present. None of its Policies seem relevant, but I did notice in the national description that it is noted for "irreverence to religion", so maybe that is the reason. Just a guess. The nation is too young to have a national religion yet, which also could conceivably be relevant.

[Rocain Founder]

My initial report here was not correct My puppet nation Cain B A-Lt v0 discovered that the order of options for issue #488 has been changed. It received options 1, 2 and 4. 1 and 2 remain unchanged. option 4 is the spoiled option 6. I have no information on the fate or arrangement of spoiled options 3, 4 and 5, as my puppet was not presented with them. Presumably, one of the three is now option 3.

As a side-effect Trotterdam's web site is now incorrect about what talking points correspond to which option numbers.

[Jutsa]

I just realized! Not only did Fauxia have another accepted issue (congrats, Fauxia! Long time no seeing that), but FuF has been editing! That's very exciting to see

[The Voxijan Republic]

I'm disappointed to have qualified for this issue.

#1437: Crushed Dreams

The Issue

Tragically, a homeless @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ man was crushed to death in a garbage truck’s compactor after falling asleep in a dumpster.

The Debate

1. “What we need to do is make it impossible for people to go into dumpsters,” suggests Health and Safety Inspector Roxanne Orbison, applying plastic table corner guards to your desk. “Make the hatchways too small to go in, and to be on the safe side, train garbage people to check the inside every time.”

2. “That only treats the symptom, not the cause,” says Alice van Straaten, Minister of Thinking Outside Boxes, who has spent the night sleeping in a cardboard box to ‘get in touch with my inner outcast’. “How about we simply build more homeless shelters? Give these poor people a warm place to spend the night, a good breakfast, and maybe some financial help getting their life back on track, no questions asked.”

3. “Look, this was just one guy who realized he was human trash, and committed suicide in a messy way,” complains Garbage Union Rep Desmond Connery, who is well known for his garbage opinions. “What about the poor municipal workers who are suffering nightmares now from his thoughtlessness? A better solution would be to let trucks play loud music in the cab, to drown out the hobo screams! We need to protect the mental health of our people!”

Issue by The United Realms of Lansaka

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Puppet State of Manchukuo]

In Issue 1357, the names in option 2 and 3 are random.

[Jutsa]

^^ I love this issue.

[Valentine Z]

Can confirm for 1437. I also get random names. The names seem to be Female, Female, and Male respectively for the three choices.

[Rocain Founder]

The spoiler for issue #726 is not completely correct. The spoiler claims that option 3 is for nations where immigration is illegal, and option 4 for nations where immigration is legal. My puppet nation Cain B A-Lt v0 just received this issue, and neither option 3 nor option 4 was present. So there must be some additional criterion which is required for either of these options to appear. I'm afraid I have no idea what the additional criterion might be.