EDIT: The issue serves as a form of commentary on the royalty obsession that longstanding republics like the USA experience whenever something grand involving the royals of different countries happen. This article serves as a form of inspiration for the idea, to a certain degree.
CURRENT DRAFT:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy
[Description] The newlywed Princess Harriet of Albionia and Ties actor Morgan Murkle have chosen your nation as the destination of their honeymoon. Yet ever since their arrival, the royal couple has had to fend off hordes of royalty obsessed @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. With their personal security force overwhelmed, the princely couple has raised concerns about the continuous, blatant intrusions upon their privacy during a private meeting with you in your office.
[Option 1] "They're everywhere," quivers Princess Harriet, while clutching onto her husband's arm. "Last night, I was about to take a bath when I saw their faces pressed against the window. @@LEADER@@, our suite is on the top floor!" she begins to sob and buries her face in her husband's shoulder, who continues for her. "We can't cope with this mad furore of your citizens anymore. You need to keep these crooks away from us by any means necessary, or the Immortal Queen will hear of this!"
[Effect 1] anyone who so much as looks at visiting royals is brutally beaten down by the police
[Option 2] "I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM!" screams a @@MAN@@ who suddenly appears in the window of your office, held up by a pyramid of people. "Release their royal highnesses to us, @@LEADER@@, we must have our selfies with them! They have chosen our nation, our people to bestow their magnificent presence upon, and now it is our duty to bask in their majesty every single moment of their stay in @@NAME@@!" @@HE@@ professes, foaming at the mouth.
[Effect 2] celebrities flee the country while pursued by masses of screaming @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@
[Option 3] "Why did you allow these elitist pigs into our country in the first place?" demands Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and your legal counsel from Guil & Tine Lawyers, after the royal couple had exited your office. "Our people shouldn't celebrate monarchism like this! You need to instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchist traitors out there and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine and shame them. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 3] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Effect 4a] "Aren't our lovely subjects adorable when they're like this?" asks your sister, smiling down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "It seems to me as if they'd really want a royal family of their own, a family they already know well and look up to," she turns to you with a knowing smile. "We'd only need to enshrine our new, royal status in the law, have the constitution define your executive powers and organize your coronation ceremony. You'd make our citizens so happy..."
[Validity] Must not have Autocracy
[Effect 4a] @@LEADER@@'s campaign managers can be found flipping burgers at McRonald's
[Effect 4b] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Must have Autocracy
[Effect 4b] @@LEADER@@ is always portrayed a head shorter in foreign depictions these days
DRAFT 9:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy
[Description] The newlywed Princess Harriet of Albionia and Ties actor Morgan Murkle have chosen your nation as the destination of their honeymoon. Yet ever since their arrival, the royal couple has had to fend off hordes of royalty obsessed @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. During a private meeting with you in your office, the princely couple has raised concerns about the continuous, blatant intrusions upon their privacy.
[Option 1] "They're everywhere," quivers Princess Harriet, while clutching onto her husband's arm. "Last night, I was about to take a bath when I saw their faces pressed against the window. @@LEADER@@, our suite is on the top floor!" she begins to sob and buries her face in her husband's shoulder, who continues for her. "We can't cope with this mad furore of your citizens anymore. You need to keep these crooks away from us by any means necessary, or the Immortal Queen will hear of this!"
[Effect 1] anyone who so much as looks at visiting royals is brutally beaten down by the police
[Option 2] "I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM!" screams a @@MAN@@ who suddenly appears in the window of your office, held up by a pyramid of people. "Release their royal highnesses to us, @@LEADER@@, we must have our selfies with them! They have chosen our nation, our people to bestow their magnificent presence upon, and now it is our duty to bask in their majesty every single moment of their stay in @@NAME@@!" @@HE@@ professes, foaming at the mouth.
[Effect 2] celebrities flee the country while pursued by masses of screaming @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@
[Option 3] "Why did you allow these elitist pigs into our country in the first place?" demands Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and your legal counsel from Guil & Tine Lawyers, after the royal couple had exited your office. "Our people shouldn't celebrate monarchism like this! You need to instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchist traitors out there and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine and shame them. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 3] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Effect 4a] "Aren't our lovely subjects adorable when they're like this?" asks your sister, smiling down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "It seems to me as if they'd really want a royal family of their own, a family they already know well and look up to," she turns to you with a knowing smile. "We'd only need to enshrine our new, royal status in the law, have the constitution define your executive powers and organize your coronation ceremony. You'd make our citizens so happy..."
[Validity] Must not have Autocracy
[Effect 4a] @@LEADER@@'s campaign managers can be found flipping burgers at McRonald's
[Effect 4b] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Must have Autocracy
[Effect 4b] @@LEADER@@ is always portrayed a head shorter in foreign depictions these days
DRAFT 8:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy
[Description] The newlywed Princess Harriet of Albionia and Ties actor Morgan Murkle have chosen @@NAME@@ as the destination of their honeymoon. Yet following the arrival of the noble pair, the recurring royalty craze that your citizens experience whenever there's an event involved with any of the royal family's of @@REGION@@ flared up once more. During a private meeting with you in your office, the princely couple has raised concerns about the continuous, blatant intrusions upon their privacy.
[Option 1] "They're everywhere," quivers Princess Harriet, while clutching onto her husband's arm. "Last night, I was about to take a bath when I saw their faces pressed against the window. @@LEADER@@, our suite is on the top floor!" she begins to sob and buries her face in her husband's shoulder, who continues for her. "We can't cope with this mad furore of your citizens anymore. You need to keep these crooks away from us by any means necessary, or the Immortal Queen will hear of this!"
[Effect 1] anyone who so much as looks at visiting royals is brutally beaten down by the police
[Option 2] "I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM!" screams a @@MAN@@ who suddenly appears in the window of your office, held up by a pyramid of people. "Release their royal highnesses to us, @@LEADER@@, we must have our selfies with them! They have chosen our nation, our people to bestow their magnificent presence upon, and now it is our duty to bask in their majesty every single moment of their stay in @@NAME@@!" @@HE@@ professes, foaming at the mouth.
[Effect 2] celebrities flee the country while pursued by hordes of crazed @@DEMONYM@@
[Option 3] "Why did you allow these elitist pigs into our country in the first place?" demands Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and your legal counsel from Guil & Tine Lawyers, after the royal couple had left your office. "Our people shouldn't celebrate monarchism like this! You need to instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchist traitors out there and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 3] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Effect 4a] "Aren't our lovely subjects adorable when they're like this?" asks your sister, smiling down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "It seems to me as if they'd really want a royal family of their own, a family they already know well and look up to," she turns to you with a knowing smile. "We'd only need to enshrine our new, royal status in the law, have the constitution define your executive powers and organize your coronation ceremony. You'd make our citizens so happy..."
[Validity] Must not have Autocracy
[Effect 4a] @@LEADER@@'s campaign managers can be found flipping burgers at McRonald's
[Effect 4b] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Must have Autocracy
[Effect 4b] @@LEADER@@ is always portrayed a head shorter in foreign depictions these days
DRAFT 7:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy
[Description] The newlywed Princess Harriet of Albionia and Ties actor Morgan Murkle have chosen @@NAME@@ as the destination of their honeymoon. Yet as it turned out, many of your citizens have been harbouring a dormant yet intense fascination with royalty, which awakened upon the arrival of the royal pair. During a private meeting with you in your office, the princely couple has raised concerns about the continuous, blatant intrusions upon their privacy.
[Option 1] "They're everywhere," quivers Princess Harriet, while clutching onto her husband's arm. "Last night, I was about to take a bath when I saw them. I saw their faces pressed to the window. @@LEADER@@, our suite is on the top floor!" she begins to sob and buries her face in her husband's shoulder, who continues for her. "We can't cope with this mad furore of your citizens anymore. You need to keep these crooks away from us by any means necessary, or the Immortal Queen will hear of our displeasure with you!"
[Effect 1] anyone who so much as looks at visiting royals is brutally beaten down by the police
[Option 2] "I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM!" screams a @@MAN@@ who suddenly appears in the window of your office, held up by a wall of jubilantly screaming people. "Release their royal highnesses to us, @@LEADER@@, we must have our selfies with them! They have chosen our nation, our people to bestow their magnificent presence upon, and now it is our duty to bask in their majesty every single moment of their stay in @@NAME@@!" @@HE@@ professes, foaming at the mouth.
[Effect 2] celebrities flee the country while pursued by hordes of crazed @@DEMONYM@@
[Option 3] "And why did you allow these elitist pigs into our country in the first place?" angrily asks Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and your legal counsel from Guil & Tine Lawyers, after the royal couple had been escorted out of your office. "Our people shouldn't celebrate monarchism like this! You need to instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchist traitors out there and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them publicly. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 3] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Effect 4a] "Aren't our lovely subjects adorable when they're like this?" asks your sister, smiling down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "It seems to me as if they'd really want a royal family of their own, a family they already know well and look up to," she turns to you with a knowing smile. "We'd only need to enshrine our new, royal status in the law, have the constitution define your executive powers and organize your coronation ceremony. You'd make our citizens so happy..."
[Validity] Must not have Autocracy
[Effect 4a] @@LEADER@@'s campaign managers can be found flipping burgers at McRonald's
[Effect 4b] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Must have Autocracy
[Effect 4b] @@LEADER@@ is always portrayed a head shorter in foreign depictions these days
DRAFT 6:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy
[Description] The newlywed Princess Harriet of Albionia and Ties actor Morgan Murkle have chosen @@NAME@@ as the destination of their honeymoon. Yet as it turned out, many of your citizens have harboured a dormant, but intense fascination with royalty, that burst open like a dam upon the arrival of the princely couple. As such, during their formal meeting with you in your office, the princess and her husband raised concerns about their lack of privacy.
[Option 1] "They're everywhere," whispers a shaking, sleep-deprived Princess Harriet. "Last night, I was about to take a bath when I saw them. I saw their faces pressed to the window. @@LEADER@@, our suite is on the top floor!" she bursts into tears in the arms of her husband, who continues for her. "Our security can't cope with this mad furor of your citizens anymore. You need to step in and keep these crooks away from us by any means necessary, or the Immortal Queen will hear of our displeasure with you!"
[Effect 1] anyone who so much as looks at visiting royals is brutally beaten down by the police
[Option 2] "I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM!" suddenly screams a @@MAN@@ with @@HIS@@ face pressed to the window of your office, held up by a wall of jubilantly screaming people. "Release their royal highnesses to us, @@LEADER@@, we must have our selfies with them! They have chosen our nation, our people to bestow their magnificent presence upon, and now it is our duty to bask in their majesty every single moment of their stay in @@NAME@@!" @@HE@@ professes, foaming at the mouth.
[Effect 2] celebrities flee the country while pursued by hordes of crazed @@DEMONYM@@
[Option 3] "And why did you allow these elitist pigs into our country in the first place?" angrily asks Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and your legal counsel from Guil & Tine Lawyers, after the royal couple had been escorted out of your office. "Our people shouldn't celebrate monarchism like this! You need to instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchist traitors out there and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them publicly. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 3] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Effect 4a] "Aren't our lovely subjects adorable when they're like this?" asks your sister, smiling down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "It seems to me as if they'd really want a royal family of their own, a family they already know well and look up to," she turns to you with a knowing smile. "We'd only need to enshrine our new, royal status in the law, have the constitution define your executive powers and organize your coronation ceremony. You'd make our citizens so happy..."
[Validity] Must not have Autocracy
[Effect 4a] @@LEADER@@'s campaign managers can be found flipping burgers at McRonald's
[Effect 4b] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Must have Autocracy
[Effect 4b] suddenly @@LEADER@@ is always portrayed a head shorter in foreign depictions
DRAFT 5:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy
[Description] The newlywed Princess Harriet of Albionia and Ties actor Morgan Murkle have chosen @@NAME@@ as the destination of their honeymoon. Yet as it turned out, many of your citizens have harboured a dormant, but intense fascination with royalty, that burst open like a dam upon the arrival of the princely couple. As such, during their formal meeting with you in your office, the princess and her husband raised concerns about their lack of privacy.
[Option 1] "They're everywhere," whispers a shaking, sleep-deprived Princess Harriet. "Last night, I was about to take a bath when I saw them. I saw their faces pressed to the window. @@LEADER@@, our suite is on the top floor!" she bursts into tears in the arms of her husband, who continues for her. "Our security can't cope with this mad furor of your citizens anymore. You need to step in and keep these crooks away from us by any means necessary, or the Immortal Queen will hear of our displeasure with you!"
[Effect 1] any public expression of excitement is brutally beaten down by the police
[Option 2] "I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM!" suddenly screams a @@MAN@@ with @@HIS@@ face pressed to the window of your office, held up by a wall of jubilantly screaming people. "Release their royal highnesses to us, @@LEADER@@, we must have our selfies with them! They have chosen our nation, our people to bestow their magnificent presence upon, and now it is our duty to bask in their majesty every single moment of their stay in @@NAME@@!" @@HE@@ professes, foaming at the mouth.
[Effect 2] anyone with celebrity status avoids @@NAME@@ like the plague these days
[Option 3] "And why did you allow these elitist pigs into our country in the first place?" angrily asks Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and your legal counsel from Guil & Tine Lawyers, after the royal couple had been escorted out of your office. "Our people shouldn't celebrate monarchism like this! You need to instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchist traitors out there and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them publicly. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 3] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Effect 4a] "Aren't our lovely subjects adorable when they're like this?" asks your sister, smiling down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "It seems to me as if they'd really want a royal family of their own, a family they already know well and look up to," she turns to you with a knowing smile. "We'd only need to enshrine our new, royal status in the law, have the constitution define your executive powers and organize your coronation ceremony. You'd make our citizens so happy..."
[Validity] Must not have Autocracy
[Effect 4a] it turns out 'it's just a phase' is indeed wishful thinking
[Effect 4b] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Must have Autocracy
[Effect 4b] it turns out 'it's just a phase' is indeed wishful thinking
DRAFT 4:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy
[Description] Despite @@NAME@@'s republican tradition, any grand news about the royal houses of @@REGION@@ always managed to throw your citizens into an inexplicable royalty craze. Recently, following the highly anticipated wedding of Princess Harriet and Ties actor Morgan Murkle in Albionia, the same obsession has reared its head once more, much to the anger and frustration of loyal republicans.
[Option 1] "It's a disgrace that we're allowing our good citizens to fall for the farce these vile, pompous buffoons are putting up!" declares Maxime Robertspeare, an avowed republican and partner at Guil & Tine Lawyers. "You need to immediately forbid any expression of monarchism within @@NAME@@ and instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchists and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them publicly. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 1] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Option 2] "Don't be ridiculous!" counters royalty expert @@RANDOMNAME@@, handing out memorabilia commemorating the wedding of Albionia's princely couple. "Some people are diehard fans of foreign actors, music bands or long-nailed, poofy-haired celebrity mediums. Why would fawning over foreign royals be any different? You just need to make sure everyone joins in on the craze by making education on foreign monarchies a mandatory part of the national curriculum, lure princes and princesses over to our nation with fancy summer residences and generous tax cuts, and declare every royal happening a national holiday. It'll be grand, I tell you!"
[Effect 2] foreign royals flee @@NAME@@ pursued by hordes of fangirling citizens
[Option 3] "Hmpf, all this fuss over some fancy-pants outsiders," huffs the fiercely patriotic Mayor of @@CAPITAL@@. "Look, I get it, people are social animals who love to live parts of their lives through those of celebrities. But we need to find a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ way in revering individuals with a special status, individuals like you @@LEADER@@. Let our people retain their ways and customs by living out parts of their dull, unimportant lives through yours! Surely you'd be willing to sacrifice all of your privacy for the preservation of our national identity?"
[Effect 3] everybody follows 'the @@LEADER@@ Show'
[Effect 4a] "Aren't our lovely subjects adorable when they're like this?" asks your sister, smiling down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "It seems to me as if they'd really want a royal family of their own, a family they already know well and look up to," she turns to you with a knowing smile. "We'd only need to enshrine our new, royal status in the law, have the constitution define your executive powers and organize your coronation ceremony. You'd make our citizens so happy..."
[Validity] Must not have Autocracy
[Effect 4a] it turns out 'it's just a phase' is indeed wishful thinking
[Effect 4b] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Must have Autocracy
[Effect 4b] it turns out 'it's just a phase' is indeed wishful thinking
DRAFT 3:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy, must not have State Press
[Description] Recently, several events involving well-known royals have dominated @@REGION@@'s news cycles: the coronation ceremony of Queen Ingrid in Skandilund, the highly anticipated wedding of Princess Harriet and Ties actor Morgan Murkle in Albionia, and the birth of octuplets to the King and Queen of Hispanza. Despite @@NAME@@'s republican tradition, the nation has been swept up in an inexplicable royalty craze as a result, which monarchists and republicans alike seek to take advantage of.
[Option 1] "Oh, the international prestige we'd gain if @@NAME@@ became a monarchy!" says celebrity royalty expert @@RANDOMNAME@@, a self-proclaimed descendant of the ancient King Charlatagne, heading a group of self-congratulating royalists. "A royal family would be the perfect national symbol to rally behind! An embodiment of our national identity, carried outwards across @@REGION@@ and forwards in time, through a dynasty. Just clearly define the position of power our new monarch would wield in the constitution, and we're all set! Long live the monarchy, am I right?"
[Effect 1] the new royal family is following a crash course on what it means to be @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@
[Option 2] "And why are we allowing any attention to be given to such inequitable systems like monarchies to begin with?" asks Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and partner at Guil & Tine Lawyers, sharpening pitchforks along with his peers. "You need to immediately forbid any expression of monarchism within @@NAME@@ and instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchists and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them publicly. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 2] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Option 3] "Hmpf, all this fuss over some fancy-pants foreigners," huffs the fiercely patriotic Mayor of @@CAPITAL@@. "Look, I get it, people are social animals who love to live parts of their lives through those of celebrities. But we need to find a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ way in revering individuals with a special status, individuals like you @@LEADER@@. Let our people retain their ways and customs by living out parts of their dull, unimportant lives through yours! Surely you'd be willing to sacrifice all of your privacy for the preservation of our nation's identity?"
[Effect 3] everybody follows 'the @@LEADER@@ Show'
[Effect 4] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Is an Autocracy
[Effect 4] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are warned to be careful what they wish for
DRAFT 2:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy, must not have State Press
[Description] Despite @@NAME@@'s republican tradition, the nation has been swept up in an inexplicable royalty craze after several events involving well-known royals have dominated @@REGION@@ news cycles: the coronation ceremony of Queen Ingrid in Skandilund, the highly anticipated wedding of Princess Harriet and Ties actor Morgan Murkle in Albionia, and the birth of octuplets to the King and Queen of Hispanza. As a result, the age old squabble between monarchists and republicans has flared up once more.
[Option 1] "Oh, the prestige we'd gain, both internationally and economically, if @@NAME@@ became a monarchy!" says celebrity royalty expert @@RANDOMNAME@@, a self-proclaimed descendant of the ancient King Charlatagne, heading a group of self-congratulating royalists. "A royal family would be the perfect national symbol to rally behind! They'd be the embodiment of our national identity, carrying it outwards across @@REGION@@ and forwards in time, through a dynasty. Just clearly define the position of power our new monarch would wield in the constitution, and we're all set! Long live the monarchy, am I right?"
[Effect 1] the new royal family is following a crash course on what it means to be @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@
[Option 2] "And why are we allowing any attention to be given to such inequitable systems like monarchies to begin with?" asks Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and partner at Guil & Tine Lawyers, sharpening pitchforks along with his peers. "You need to immediately forbid any expression of monarchism within @@NAME@@ and instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchists and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them publicly. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 2] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Option 3] "Hmpf, all this fuss over some fancy-pants foreigners," huffs the fiercely patriotic Mayor of @@CAPITAL@@. "Look, I get it, people are social animals who love to live parts of their lives through those of their celebrities. But we need to find a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ way in revering individuals with a special status, individuals like you @@LEADER@@. Let our people retain their ways and customs by living out parts of their dull, unimportant lives through yours! Surely you'd be willing to sacrifice all of your privacy for the preservation of our nation's identity?"
[Effect 3] everybody follows 'the @@LEADER@@ Show'
[Effect 4] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Is an Autocracy
[Effect 4] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are warned to be careful what they wish for
DRAFT 1:
[Title] Royal Rage
[Validity] Must not have Monarchy, must not have State Press, must not have Socialism
[Description] Despite @@NAME@@'s longstanding republican tradition, the citizens of your nation couldn't help but be swept up in an inexplicable royalty craze, as several monarchies across @@REGION@@ had planned the royal weddings of their princes and princesses to occur only days apart from each other. As a result, various special interest groups in favour and against monarchism have sprung up like mushrooms to pounce on the occasion.
[Option 1] "Look how adorable!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of one of @@NAME@@'s largest figurine producing companies, pushing two bobble heads of Princess Harriet of Albionia and her husband Morgan Murkle into your face. "Imagine if we had royalty of our own, I could make a fortune off of selling silly baubles like these during royal events! I mean, eh, WE could make a fortune, hehe... Just make sure any royalty would have a clearly demarcated position of power within our constitution, and we're all set to make a fortune!
[Effect 1] no republic is safe when there's money to be made from royalty
[Option 2] "Why are we allowing any attention to be given to such inequitable systems like monarchies?" begins Maxime Robertspeare, avowed republican and partner at Guil & Tine Lawyers. "There's no time to lose! You need to immediately forbid any expression of monarchism within @@NAME@@ and instill terror, yes, terror I tell you, at the thought of royalty within our citizens. Arrest any monarchists and publicly execute them! Or well, just fine them and shame them publicly. Our @@TYPE@@ is at stake!"
[Effect 2] people lose their heads over retailers claiming 'customer is king'
[Option 3] "This is a sinister plot, I tell you" begins Lenny @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, a balding man with a black Van Dyke beard. "These foul tyrant-monarchs are trying to win over the proletariat with a highly coordinated publicity stunt! Why else would these fiendish aristocracies organize the royal weddings concurrently? We need to send the elites of @@REGION@@ an equally powerful message. Seize the economy, seize the media, seize the economic independence of our country! We'll light the spark of communism, that'll burn down the capitalists!"
[Effect 3] red is the new black while blue is totally out of fashion
[Effect 4] "So, our little playthings are all about royalty these days, eh?" poses your brother, looking down on the people in the streets through the window in your office. "I say we grant them their wish for once. After all, it'll only unpack even better for us," he says, turning to you with a sly grin. "Imagine yourself - already the sole ruler of our nation - holding a golden, bejeweled crown above your head, crowning yourself the monarch of @@NAME@@. It's a pretty picture, no? Now, let's make it a reality..."
[Validity] Is an Autocracy
[Effect 4] @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have become careful what they wish for