After a 105 year old grandmother somehow fought her way through your security (in fairness, her suggestion was actually the sensible one you ended up carrying out), you are suddenly very eager to ponder about the efficacy of your bodyguards.
validity: won't be a real issue
[option] "I agree @@LEADER@@," announces a mysterious individual who has just beaten through your bodyguards with only fists." They were absolutely useless cretins. A pity, really, that it really is such an interesting conversation...." Suddenly drawing a pistol, the person screams:" But it's time for you to die!"
BANG
.
.
.
"HOW DID I MISS?!"
[effect] every assassins walks up to @@LEADER@@ and strikes up conversation before magically failing to kill you
[option] "Nonsense!" Cries one of your loyal bodyguards as he dog piles onto the would-be assassin. "See how we're piling on this guy now?! Not getting out of that, eh? Nah, we're perfectly good. Honestly, the best in the region... I mean, seriously. How you noticed how many leaders Maxtopia's been going through?"
[effect] you are entrusting the security of your nation's leader to a bunch of goons who lost a fight with a 105 year old grandmother? What?
[option] "As usual!" Booms with faux-grandeur the nation's science advisor, however after seeing the room's reaction the man loses all of the enthusiasm and deadpans says,"Science. Technology. Like a robot or something would be cool."
[effect] I don't know about keeping you safe, but that little bodyguard combat drone is making an excellent replacement for your recently deceased pet
[option] "You know that there is a virtually infinite supply of tough guys who are super loyal to you that you consult all the time?" Asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, who's job you forgot long ago, "Yeah, how many bloody generals, admirals and the like do we even have?! I swear we have thousands of them. Surely you could just get your best generals to become your bodyguards? All of that loooong experience must count for something."
[effect] @@LEADER@@ is protected by a bunch of guys who were tough in the 60s
[option] "All you need is love...." sings the actual John Lennon, somehow teleporting into your dimension mid-song."Love, love is all you - WAIT, WHERE AM I?!"
[effect] the power of love is surprisingly good at keeping you safe, who'd have thought it?
This is hilarious, and I would definitely pick the last option were I actually to receive it.
