Singapore no2 wrote:Tinhampton wrote:Break out the champagne, Issuesland! We have a second new issue today!Issue #685: Externalities Palmed Off
A sunny neighbouring nation with a developing economy has been burn-clearing large swathes of rainforest to gain land for palm tree plantations. Weather conditions have carried the thick pall of smoke from the burning across a narrow sea strait, and into Tinhampton.
- “The smog is affecting the young, the elderly, and the sick,” notes your Minister of Civic Welfare, as she holds a rose-scented handkerchief over her nose and mouth. “We have to send a strongly-worded letter to their government to request that they do something to stop the parties responsible, if they’d be so kind. I’m sure that with their own citizens being affected, and with us pointing out the ecological damage they’re doing, they’ll take everything into consideration and choose to be reasonable.”
- “They aren’t going to respond to that! They don’t care if their own citizens drop dead in the fields, they’re cynical profiteers who only care about the bottom line!” fumes Lars Mulcair, the Minister of Trade and Industry. “Let’s embargo all their palm oil products and encourage all our allies and major trade partners to do the same. That’ll teach them!”
- “Teach them what? That we care about abstract concepts like ‘diplomacy’ and ‘dialogue’?” rebukes Rosita Tano, a hawkish Air Force Commander, pounding her fist into her open hand for emphasis. “It’s clear that they won’t fold easily when there’s so much profit at stake, but if we bomb the government, whoever is still left will accede to any of our demands.”
- “And what will that achieve? Decades in a never-ending war, that’s what!” mocks Alexandra Cartman, a slightly deranged scientist, who is staring intently at a snowglobe. “Instead, let’s build a protective acrylic-glass dome over every city, and connect them via enclosed tubes. We won’t have to care about the haze, difficult neighbours, or even climate change ever again!”
Options 3 and 4 use @@RANDOMNAME@@.
I think this is the first uniquely Third World issue on NS