NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Barbarossistanian North Brasilistan]

Since #690 was not reported yet, here goes:

Hey! Martinus Rufus Magnus! Leave Them Kids Alone!

The Issue

The government’s decision to oblige school children to recite the Pledge of Allegiance to Barbarossistanian North Brasilistan on a daily basis is proving to be quite controversial. Some parents are upset with the inclusion of references to Catholic Church of Barbarossistan, Martinus Rufus Magnus, and the use of language that can at best be described as ‘robustly patriotic’, and at worst criticised as bordering on neo-Nazism. They are demanding that you scrap the pledge as being incompatible with modern values.
The Debate

1. “We don’t need no thought control!” protests apparently grammatically-challenged parent John Gates. “I’ll be damned if I’ll allow the schools to brainwash my kids into joining Martinus Rufus Magnus’s fan club! Reciting this pledge is a violation of free speech and an insult to everything Barbarossistanian North Brasilistan stands for. Schools should be a place of learning, not indoctrination! The children are the future, not another brick in the wall!”

2. “I won’t have any of this dark sarcasm in the classroom!” shouts your Propaganda Minister Olivia Mendez, while eating her favorite meal of meat and pudding. “There is nothing wrong with the Pledge, dearest leader. Don’t listen to these traitorous, anti-Barbarossistanian North Brasilistanian hippies. In fact we should not only have the Pledge in schools, but also extend it to the workplace, the streets, and perhaps even figure out a way to force the people say it at home. The most obedient and freedom-loving citizens love the pledge. Anyone who refuses to say it hates Barbarossistanian North Brasilistan and anyone who hates Barbarossistanian North Brasilistan is a traitor to our beloved Colony!”

3. “Perhaps there’s a compromise, yes?” suggests overworked fiction editor Willie Stone, keen to calm down the heated argument. “I agree that we should keep the pledge, but we should remove some of the more questionable phrases, and render it a little less nationalistic and jingoistic. Perhaps we could even give people multiple versions to pick from, and leave the odd space blank where people can insert their own chosen phrasing. Free speech is about choice, after all. No matter what we do someone is always going to be offended, but this is making the best of a bad situation.”

Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Drasnia]

I have updated up to #674 and will continue updating this week. I should be done by this weekend.

[Noahs Second Country]

#636: Going on the Cyber Offensive [Noahs Second Country; ed:Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue
A student was recently suspended by a school for posting negative comments about a fellow classmate on an online gossip column. The offensive message read “Sean’s dad is such a drunk, that he didn’t just lose his front door keys, he lost his whole front door... oh, and his house... and his job. Wow, sucks to be his son, huh?”. As both the suspended student’s parents are celebrities, there’s been a lot of media coverage of the incident, and now everybody is talking about it. Some are calling this harmless fun, while others are labelling it as cyberbullying. It seems like everybody wants to know where you stand on this.

The Debate
1. “This is a complete violation of my rights,” shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the amateur columnist brat. “I can say what I want outside of school, as long as I like, don’t, like, harm anyone. Like, the whole free speech thing, you know. I wasn’t in school, so they can’t punish me. People just need to be allowed to say whatever. By the way, check out my latest roasting of this one geography teacher at my school who doesn’t take showers.”

2. “Schools need to be stricter,” whispers @@RANDOMNAME@@, worriedly looking around before nibbling on a bar of chocolate. “People used to use my name, but now I’m just ‘Ugly Fat-Face’. Please, make it stop! Schools should strictly punish students who say rude things online.”

3. “Kids these days, they’re geni.. geniei... uh... geniuses!” exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Solutions. “This is the best idea we’ve had in a while! With elections coming up, we can hire a few of these prodigies of the put-down, and pay them to work for us. The kids can, as they say, ‘roast’ the other politicians, and make you look great in comparison!”

Current context in the spoiler thread^

I just recieved the issue as this:
The Issue

A student was recently suspended by a school for posting negative comments about a fellow classmate on an online gossip column. The offensive message read “Mohammed’s dad is such a drunk, that he didn’t just lose his front door keys, he lost his whole front door... oh, and his house... and his job. Wow, sucks to be his son, huh?”. As both the suspended student’s parents are celebrities, there’s been a lot of media coverage of the incident, and now everybody is talking about it. Some are calling this harmless fun, while others are labelling it as cyberbullying. It seems like everybody wants to know where you stand on this.

The Debate

“This is a complete violation of my rights,” shouts Layla Barnes, the amateur columnist brat. “I can say what I want outside of school, as long as I like, don’t, like, harm anyone. Like, the whole free speech thing, you know. I wasn’t in school, so they can’t punish me. People just need to be allowed to say whatever. By the way, check out my latest roasting of this one geography teacher at my school who doesn’t take showers.”

Accept

“Schools need to be stricter,” whispers Sue-Ann Gonzalez, worriedly looking around before nibbling on a bar of chocolate. “People used to use my name, but now I’m just ‘Ugly Fat-Face’. Please, make it stop! Schools should strictly punish students who say rude things online.”

Accept

“Kids these days, they’re geni.. geniei... uh... geniuses!” exclaims Abraham Morricone, your Minister of Solutions. “This is the best idea we’ve had in a while! With elections coming up, we can hire a few of these prodigies of the put-down, and pay them to work for us. The kids can, as they say, ‘roast’ the other politicians, and make you look great in comparison!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Holy Second Best Zombies of Noahs Second Country

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

It looks like "Sean" is actually a macro.

[Drasnia]

Be on the lookout for a new issue written by Caracasus and (most likely) edited by Gnejs based on this submission. It requires a new flag that was added only just now with this new issue:

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
we only started tracking nations allowing secession as a policy flag when this issue was published, so it'll be a while before this sees many people getting the issue.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Yah, you may take a little while to find that one. Or not, who knows.

Also, as a heads up, a lot of existing issues have been changing as part of my big policy review. Up till now these changes have 95% been behind-the-screen stat changes, but the policy flag that reads capitalism being in place or not has proved to be one that has needed a huge number of textual edits.

Broadly, if you're a non-capitalist nation, expect to see quite a lot of issue changes that now acknowledge that you've made that decision. This is one of the most important reasons for me taking on the policy review in the first place - the recognition that player decisions are meant to be meaningful, and that the narrative should acknowledge the decisions made.

Man, you know I started this review of policies back on December 1st last year? I reckon there's been dissertation-levels of discussion over this, and well over two hundred man-hours of work. That'll teach me to try to fix things...

Anyway, keep your eyes open, a vast number of old issues have gained options, changed wordings, gained new validity coding, and so on. Should be keeping spoiler-hunters busy for a while...

[Noahs Second Country]

The Issue

Panic has spread across Noahs Second Country after a study found some bottled water manufactured in Noahs Second Country to be contaminated by E. coli. Consumers’ rights groups have called on you to address this problem, so you’re attending a tour of Noahs Second Country’s largest bottling plant with some interested parties.

The Debate

“Bottled water is a scam!” yells consumer rights advocate Finn Burton, while getting glared at by various employees. “Did you know, tap water is tested way more often than bottled? Or that some greedy corporations take tap water and mark it up more than ten thousand percent? We need to make the public aware of this! All that is necessary is to advertise tap water, and cut subsidies to the soda industry. It is better for you, me, the environment, and everyone else!”

Accept

“These claims are just ridiculous!” exclaims Lauren Hernandez, CEO of Glowing Brook Spring Water & Industrial Waste Disposal, while hesitantly taking a small sip of her product. “Our water has been tested by the best inspectors money can buy, and it’s been certified as organic. If anything the government should be promoting bottled water; perhaps with a public health campaign encouraging people to drink eight bottles a day to stave off dehydration.”

Accept

“Yeah, tap water is pure, purely full of drugs, am I right?” rambles Rodrigo Pasteur while attempting to give you a high five. “So, yeah, you totally need to get those toxins out of bottled water, but then you have to address a bigger problem. Sure everyone gets high from the tap water, but some squares are being total party poopers by forcing their kids to drink bottled water just cause they’re like, drug free. Bummer, right? But I’ve got a primo solution man, we need to, like, mandate putting drugs in the bottled water too, that way they’ll be no escaping getting high. Far out, huh!”

Accept

“There’s a sensible solution to all this,” states health inspector Aaron Walker, opening a bottle of water while wearing goggles and a respirator. “Hire more health inspectors! We can take some money from some less vital government programs, like welfare and the military, and then send in government inspectors to do daily testing on the water sources and filtration systems. Also, would it kill you to raise our salaries a bit? Because E. coli in your next meal might.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Holy Second Best Zombies of Noahs Second Country

Edited by Ransium

[Trotterdam]

I am almost completely certain the third option you listed there will not appear for most nations

I don't suppose you thought to check the internal option numbers.

[hr]

Don't forget to remain on the lookout for #691 and #692!

[Trotterdam]

Okay, here's #692 (corrections assumed):

#692 Game Of Drones

The Issue

A jet airliner recently made an emergency landing into the @@ANIMAL@@ River after an engines failed during takeoff. Footage has revealed the likely cause of the crash to be a drone sucked into one of the aircraft's engine, and some are questioning the lack of regulations related to drone use.

The Debate

1. "We're lucky nobody was killed in the crash, but we might not be so fortunate next time," murmurs @@RANDOMNAME@@, your overzealous Public Safety Minister, while meticulously covering your letter opener with bubble wrap. "The problems with drones extends beyond planes, too. What if one falls out of the sky and decapitates an innocent bystander? We need sensible regulations of drones to make sure @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are kept safe. The public should only use drones outside of populated areas, at low heights, and only after passing a safety class."

2. "We don't need draconian regulations just because one idiot didn't read the instructions," rebuffs avid drone enthusiast @@RANDOMNAME@@, while using a drone to film the meeting. "By that logic we should ban microwaves, just because [REDACTED AS PROTEST]. It is the right of every citizen to enjoy everything drones have to offer. Besides, strict rules would blow drone sales out of the sky."

3. "Yes, private drones are a nuisance, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater," begs @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Pie In The Sky, a drone-based food delivery service. "You should ban private drone use, but allow unrestricted commercial drone use. @@LEADER@@, let me tell you, the sky is the limit. Just think about drone package delivery, drone private investigators, even drone dog walkers. Perhaps we could talk more about it," @@HE/SHE@@ gestures at a food-laden drone tapping at your office window, "over some lunch?"

Issue by Nation of Quebec
Edited by Ransium

Names are probably random, but for comparison, I got these:
1. Kristy Martin
2. Richard Smiley
3. Yoko Blair (female pronouns)

#691 is still at large.

Also, as a heads up, a lot of existing issues have been changing as part of my big policy review. Up till now these changes have 95% been behind-the-screen stat changes, but the policy flag that reads capitalism being in place or not has proved to be one that has needed a huge number of textual edits.

Broadly, if you're a non-capitalist nation, expect to see quite a lot of issue changes that now acknowledge that you've made that decision. This is one of the most important reasons for me taking on the policy review in the first place - the recognition that player decisions are meant to be meaningful, and that the narrative should acknowledge the decisions made.

Man, you know I started this review of policies back on December 1st last year? I reckon there's been dissertation-levels of discussion over this, and well over two hundred man-hours of work. That'll teach me to try to fix things...

Anyway, keep your eyes open, a vast number of old issues have gained options, changed wordings, gained new validity coding, and so on. Should be keeping spoiler-hunters busy for a while...

I have reason to believe #060 is the most recent one. I've gotten some other effect lines that looked suspicious, but none that are quite as obviously traceable to one issue, though I have some suspicions.

[Drasnia]

#694: Concussive Percussion [Drasnia; ed:Helaw]

The Issue
While attending a performance by the @@CAPITAL@@ Philharmonic Orchestra last Thursday, 75-year-old baker @@RANDOMNAME@@ suffered an unexpected heart attack. Several music critics have attributed the death to the surprise of cannon fire used in the song “2012 Overture”, which the Orchestra was playing at the time. However, much opposition has been drummed up against the critics, and both sides have clashed just outside your office.

The Debate
1. "This could have been prevented, if someone hadn’t decided to include cannon fire in the performance!" presses @@RANDOMNAME@@, while @@HE@@ fumbles through a pile of sheet music. "We simply can’t allow this to happen again, and the only way to make sure of that is to ban any weapons from being fired during musicals and performances, and take a stern stance against overly loud music. Cannons are deadly!"

2. "If anything, we should be encouraging the use of alternative percussion in music," poises @@RANDOMNAME@@, a renowned composer, while putting a fuse into a suspicious looking stick. "Take, for example, the crash cymbals. Whose idea was it to bang two pieces of metal together to make music? Boring! Nothing entertains an audience like explosions, gunfire, and the sounds of war. War... that’s it! We should bring in the military to give all musical performances an explosive touch!"

3. "@@HE@@ has no idea what @@HE@@’s talking about," claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, speaking almost inaudibly. "Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you that a quiet, peaceful performance is one worth seeing. Like the crickets chirping, the birds tweeting, and the trees... treeing. I say we redirect some government funding to the musicians that make use of such natural and flowing sounds, to help preserve the fine predilections of the eardrum."

[Mironus]

Not sure when this option was added, but it's not on the master list:

83.4: High-Speed Monorail Service Promises Connections

4. “I really disagree,” says Amadeus Watson, an unwashed denizen standing in the middle of Noh Weir, population 200, on the outskirts of @@NAME@@. “We need this monorail service to connect both large and small cities, with equal access to transport for all the workers, all of the time.”

[Trotterdam]

Did you get that instead of or in addition to the existing options?

This is the old version:

The Issue
Vroom-A-Zoom-Zoom (VAZZ), a consortium of weird-looking hippies and yuppie roller coaster aficionados, has developed plans for a high-speed monorail service for @@NAME@@ to help counter and relieve problems brought about by banning cars.

The Debate
1. "This is great," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, devout anti-spending advocate. "You know what'll happen? The government will invest huge sums of money in a service no one will use. I suggest nipping it in the bud... and cutting back government spending across the board while you're at it."

2. "I disagree," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ of Vroom-A-Zoom-Zoom Ltd. "If people are worried about the costs, why not let the monorail service be a private company? That way, it will have to compete with other industries and make a profit. And don't forget that'll bring in more tax revenue. Of course, that would make fares too pricey for a lot of people, but the rich would probably use it a lot!"

3. "I really disagree," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an unwashed denizen standing in the middle of Noh Weir, population 200, on the outskirts of @@NAME@@. "The state must run the monorail service, otherwise it's useless. What a monorail system should do is connect both large and small cities, and the only way to do that is for the government to run the rails, using the profits from the larger cities to subsidize the routes for smaller ones."

The new option you posted is obviously a communist variation of the old option 3, so I wouldn't expect you to receive both at the same time, and I also wouldn't expect communists to get the old option 2.

[Drasnia]

Not sure when this option was added, but it's not on the master list:

83.4: High-Speed Monorail Service Promises Connections

4. “I really disagree,” says Amadeus Watson, an unwashed denizen standing in the middle of Noh Weir, population 200, on the outskirts of @@NAME@@. “We need this monorail service to connect both large and small cities, with equal access to transport for all the workers, all of the time.”

Thanks! Keep your eyes out for new options and changes especially in regards to capitalism/communism options. CWA has been going through and doing a huge review so there's bound to be a wealth of new additions.

EDIT: And everything Trotterdam said.

[Noahs Second Country]

694: I received a "she" in option 3

[Tinhampton]

@@RANDOMNAME@@'s justifications for why microwaves should be banned in 692.2 is still at large (if it ever was in the first place).

694: I received a "she" in option 3

A quick look at Drasnia's macroified version will reveal that this probably happened because the composer in Option 2 was a female.

[Trotterdam]

Thanks! Keep your eyes out for new options and changes especially in regards to capitalism/communism options. CWA has been going through and doing a huge review so there's bound to be a wealth of new additions.

I am pretty confident that they include at least #060 and #511 (though in the latter it might only be the effect line). Other likely candidates include #352 and #629.

I might be able to zero in in more detail once I've seen #691 (which I'm thinking is likely to be this, but only one of the effect lines made it through unchanged), but even then there's some lines I can't easily associate with any issue.

[Mironus]

Did you get that instead of or in addition to the existing options?

Only got options 1 and 4. Both of which have mostly negative effects on this nation, so it's an another one for the dismiss list. Ah well.

[Tinhampton]

It's been 12 days since I last reported an issue, and we've seen 11 of them since. Not too shabby, and we'll probably get to the magic 700 mark this week.

Issue #696: No, Minister

The Issue
The recently published memoirs of a retired senior civil servant have caused an uproar with their claims that it is the Civil Service, not the government, that runs the country.

The Debate

1. “I’m afraid the book is right,” sighs government Minister Jem Hacker. “It’s been the case for decades that unelected Civil Service clowns are the ones who really run this circus. We make policy, but they twist it and turn us around with tricks and paperwork till they end up doing whatever they want to. Accountability - that’s the key! I suggest that to work for government, you must be democratically elected. This should be true whether you’re a minister or a departmental bureaucrat. Once accountable to the people, the Civil Service will shape up!”
2. “Not the right approach!” yells gruff union leader Brian Butcher, munching a shortcrust pastry and patting his rounded belly. “Trim the fat from the system, and put money back in the pocket of the working man! Shift a goodly portion of the Civil Service budget into the welfare budget, and you’ll be helpin’ the bloody poor, not the bloody bureaucrats!”
3. “Shocking, leader, shocking,” murmurs civil servant Humphrey Pearby. “I absolutely agree with you about the Civil Service, and understand your instructions perfectly! I will immediately establish a Department of Civil Service Budget Oversight Committee for the Investigation of Pecuniary Distribution. Leave it to me, I will get the ball rolling, immediately! That is what you are saying isn’t it? Yes, Minister?”

Issue by The Peripatetic Panopticon of Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Helaw

[Drasnia]

As I was working on editing this, I found that option 4 of #682 has not been reported. Keep your eyes out for it. I don't know what the validity for it would be.

[Drasnia]

The thread has been update to #690. I'm waiting for #691 to show up which requires instituting serfdom after the issue was released. If nobody gets it within about a week or so, I'll get all the remaining reported issues.

[Gnejs]

Allowing parts of your nation to secede. The follow-up for serfdom was earlier. A grand total of 13 nations have answered that issue, so might take a while.

[Pencil Sharpeners 2]

Issue 682 Option 4:

“Comrade, the problem here is that the Workers are not cooperating, like good Socialists should,” observes Party Member Warwick al-Assad. “Require all of our Comrade-Citizens to carpool to a vehicle’s capacity, and you will more than halve the number of vehicles on the road.”

I imagine there's going to be a lot of communist options to be added to old issues dues to this huge edit.

[Iguanarctica]

Issue 692 Option 2:

“We don’t need draconian regulations just because one idiot didn’t read the instructions,” rebuffs avid drone enthusiast Django Nelson, while using a drone to film the meeting. “By that logic we should ban microwaves, just because one person thought it was a fun idea to stick their head inside to see what would happen. It is the right of every citizen to enjoy everything drones have to offer. Besides, strict rules would blow drone sales out of the sky.”

[Trotterdam]

#682 already had 4 options...?

[Drasnia]

#682 already had 4 options...?

The report had options 1-3 and 5 so either it has 5 options with the fourth missing or the person making the report made a mistake.

[Trotterdam]

So it has. I missed that. Thanks.