Lone Wolves United, The Black Riders, and The Brotherhood of Malice Seize Hogwarts!
The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying This is mine, and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society.
[For Your Protection]
Alas, at last! Shimmering sweetly evermore from beyond the grave, Lone Wolves United has risen to pave the path once more, into Hogwarts come Raider brethren of every score!
saKhan (Secondary Khan) Lad Wolf began preparations earlier in the day, as he took a break from smoking marijuana to notice the quaint region of Hogwarts preparing to shut itself down, so as to seal itself off from the rest of the world forever.
Voldemort's nipples! Absolutely unacceptable!
A lone Defender got bonked on the way in.
And so, Lad Wolf phoned his good friend Feuer Ritter, who - after a conversation dripping with passion and lust - phoned his friend, the magical suchasmallthing, Bob Moran.
And thus, the old dog was saved from the monotony of oldtimey triggering and the perils of basic arithmetic by the young Rider wunderkind, and they embarked on their mystical quest together.
The magic of Bob Moran
With the help of the Brotherhood of Malice and Bob Moran's fellow the Black Riders, DEER Director Tabaqui and Raider Wolf WolfMac (Cormac Somerset) joined their saKhan in the venture, while Khan Evil Wolf was indisposed with highly important matters involving a pillow and some ointment.
Nevertheless, with the seizure of Hogwarts, Lone Wolves United moves to protect the local population, which was clearly confused by the paradoxical and perplexing machinations of native Albus Dumbledore, who had been ejecting and banning fellow natives while making a big hullabaloo about everything.
Lone Wolves United concluded doofus Dumbledore was deciding for a decidedly vainglorious attempt at making himself seem like the biggest thing in the castle, and looked to knock the old geezer down to size.
As you can see, Albus Dumbledore was causing the native population a lot of stress and confusion.
Albus Dumbledore you see, was a classic swindler.
What is safety? Stop, drop, and roll? Look both ways? Some absinthe and a rubber?
No. Those who wish to weaken you for the promise of later safety, these are the men you must fear and resist.
Those who empower you through the crucible of combat, through empowerment, through attaining your own highest end - this is what it is in short, to join the pack.
Welcome Hogwarts, to the Raider credo. Lone yet loyal. Independent yet surrounded by friends.
Alone, a mountain. Together, a force to cover the globe.
Those who feel they are weak, those who give in to the temptation of a Dumbledore, a silver-tongued, white-bearded soothsayer who tells you, Give up, I will handle your problems, those are the ones that dispose of their own humanity, those that make themselves weak.
The Lone Wolves United will make you strong.
Wolifemort