Made me think of this issue.
Current shape backstage:
Name:
The Golden Path
Description:
In the most recent Regional Olympics, @@NAME@@ performed well below expectations, with a mere handful of medals and just one gold. Sports fans and patriots across the country are wondering why your proud nation is doing so badly.
Validity:
Sport not banned.
Below average health.
Options:
[option]"We ended up just below Liliputia on the medal tables, and their idea of physical exercise is lifting a TV remote," whines Sports Minister @@randomname@@. "If we want to do better, we all need to improve, and become a fitter and healthier nation. We need sports centres, playing fields, gymnasia, government grants to promote ground-roots engagement in exercise, and a minimum of four hours per week playing sports in all schools. Get fit, get golds!"
[effect]it is estimated that there are three running machines for every runner in most gyms
[option]"Uh, didn't your sports minister say the same thing four years ago? Tell me, did that socialist throw-money-at-it-and-hope-for-the-best approach work last time?" questions visiting venture capitalist @@randomname@@, as @@HE@@ turns up @@HIS@@ favourite Spandau Ballet song on @@HIS@@ enormous 1980s hi-fi system. "Back home in the United Federation of Amaxia, we know that you don't just put money into every business and industry equally. Instead, you push capital in where you can expect a good return. Same deal here: use the money you already have and focus it on sports you've got a chance of winning gold, like tricycle-racing or horse-dancing and that stuff. Leave the proper sports, like basketball and athletics to proper sporting nations, like the good old UFA. Fitness ain't the goal here folks, the metric of success is gold medals!"
[effect]the national sport is three-ball equestrian lacrosse (scissor variant)
[option]"Or we could take the approach of good old East Lebatuck," whispers your brother, nudging you with his elbow and waggling his eyebrows to indicate that he is trying to be clever and subtle. "We could fill our sportsmen to the eyeballs with performance enhancing drugs, and nobble the drug testing process with bribes and stuff. Let's face it: we want the prestige and patriotic feel-good factor that goes with winning the BIG events, and this is how all the really competitive nations do it."
[effect]anti-doping officials at the Olympics are suspicious of @@NAME@@'s gold-medallist covering 100 metres in 5.1 seconds
[option]"Olympic golds?" scoffs Paul A. Traydee, renowned futurist and helminthologist. "Do you think throwing sticks and running in circles are what it means to excel as a human being? I urge you, stop obsessing with meaningless sports and pointless prestige. The true legacy of your nation lies in unlocking the potential of hallucinogen-induced meditative mind-states. Redivert your government's efforts into this, and establish a true golden path to the future."
[effect]many express fear of bald-headed women
Submitted Version:
Original:
